Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Love is a Funny Thing ❯ Love is a Funny Thing ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: hahalolz 
Ever have something embarrassing happen in bed? The truth behind intimate situations. Don't lie. It's happened. B/V POV from Bulma.
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy / Romance | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 10.25.2007 | Updated On: 11.28.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 1.7K | Status: Completed
Ever have something embarrassing happen in bed? The truth behind intimate situations. Don't lie. It's happened. B/V POV from Bulma.
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy / Romance | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 10.25.2007 | Updated On: 11.28.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 1.7K | Status: Completed
-------------------------------
Love is a Funny Thing
-------------------------------
Disclaimer: I don't own the anime/manga.
Warning: Sexual content, language, and the truth behind it all.
Many flashbacks occur.
POV from Bulma.
-=Update=-
A/N: Haha, wow, I've been checking my e-mail and saw a few review notifications. I never was really expecting anything great if anything at all. I planned to just write this for kicks, specifically for a friend of mine (I'm not much of a Dragonball fanatic nor a decent writer... I draw though! xb). She had been telling me how she couldn't find many well-written/original one-shot DBZ fics as of late so I decided to give a shot at my penmanship haha. Anyway, I really appreciate all your comments. It kind of encourages me to write more goofy fics, but we'll have to see about that (Maybe one of how clueless Goku was during his first time? Suggestions would be nice). :D
I also fixed up my poor wording, but I'm not guaranteeing any great wording either. xb
~~~~~~
It's weird when I think about it now. Back then I just considered Vegita a total douchebag and a half. Having the idea of him as a husband didn't even cross my mind from a mile away. When I started to gain feelings for the monkey I always tried to act sexy and attractive. All I wanted was his attention. When I got his attention though, everything seemed so serious. We were passionate with each other, always trying to make every situation perfect for love. At least I did.
But what about now? It's been plenty of years after I've encountered the muscle head. Every time we attempt to have an intimate night something goes wrong. Maybe not wrong per se, but funny.
Of course the first time it happened I was down right embarassed...
--
"Vegita, please, fuck me now. Do it, please..."
"Be patient, woman. I'll fuck you when I want to."
"Vegita.. please, stick it in me. I want your co- ahh! Yes, keep going, oh yes, harder! More, Vegita, more!"
"I knew you'd like that. I could go faster if we did doggy-style."
"Oh god, yes, anything for more. Let me get up a seco-"
*pthbth*
"...What the fuck woman!"
"Oh my god! No! I swear, that didn't come from my ass!"
"God damnit, I swear, my boner just died."
--
Vagina farts just shouldn't exist. It totally killed the mood. Those weren't the only thing that killed the mood though. If I can recall every situation, my brain would probably explode.
--
"Hurry up, woman. What's taking so fucking long?"
"Just a second. Why can't you ever learn to have the slightest bit of patience?"
"Whatever. Just come in bed already."
"Why, you must be Mr. Vegita. I'll be your nurse today. I hear you're in need of special treatment?"
"You took half an hour to put on a nurse dress?"
"The headpiece was being a bitch, okay? Now shut up and let me handle this. *Ahem* So what seems to be the problem?"
"I'm fucking horny, that's what's the problem."
"Ugh. Well, let me check your blood pressure."
"Yeah, you can check the blood pressure on my dick."
"You know what? I can't do this."
--
I never tried roleplaying with him ever again.
--
"Vegita, what the fuck, what's with this?"
"You're not fucking holding it tight enough."
"Maybe if you didn't drink so fucking much we'd wouldn't have this problem."
"I only drank 2 beers, woman."
"Well, that just shows you're a fucking lightweight. Why can't it fucking go up?"
"Why can't YOU make it fucking go up?"
"You know what, I'm too fucking horny to wait. I'm just gonna try to ride it like this and maybe it'll get hard that way."
"What? Wait, stop, woman! Hold on, damnit! OW, you mother fucker!"
--
Sometimes the problem wasn't our fault.
--
"Oh, Vegita... yes!"
"You like that, woman?"
"Mm... yes, yes, yess, YE--"
"Mooom... are you in your room? I can't find the graham crackers!"
"...You're fucking kidding me, right? Woman, I thought he was sleeping over at the brat's house!"
"He was going to but something about Chi Chi not being home until late came up."
"Well, do something about this! Make him go away!"
"Uhh, Trunks? Mommy's busy right now. The crackers should be in the lower cupboard in the kitchen!"
"I looked there! They're not there!"
"My god... uhh... check the pantry then!"
"It's not there either!"
"Then they're all gone, sweetie!"
"Can you or daddy go to the store and get some then?"
"Not now, I'm busy!"
"Maybe daddy can, then? He flies fast!"
"Yeah, I'll fly right to his fucking ass and spank it."
"Vegita, be quiet. Trunks, daddy's busy too, so do you think you can wait until tomorrow? The store will close soon anyway, dear."
"But moooooom!"
--
Vegita has always been an ass. Like the time I tried to give him a strip tease.
--
"Mm yeah, why don't you take those pants off and show me what you can do with those hips?"
"Is this bad boy looking for a lapdance?"
"Only if you hurry the fuck up."
"Fine whatever. You want these pants off? You got it."
*Ziip... thump, thump*
"Oh shit, my foot's cau-"
*THUD*
"HAHAHA, WAS THAT PART OF YOUR ACT? MY GOD, WOMAN, YOU ARE HILARIOUS. HAHAHA! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PENIS SOFT, HAHAHA!"
--
Of course there have been several other incidents. But as time went by, I realized that love is never perfect. Not every relationship consists of candle lit rooms with dried rose petals on the bed. If it were, I'm sure it would catch on fire and chaos would ensue.
So here I am now, living my life with the one I love. We may have our ups and downs, but hell, we have a lot of fun.
"Woman, come in bed. Right now."
I guess it is mostly ups since Vegita is pretty awesome in bed.
"Hurry up!"
"I'm coming."
"Get undressed."
"Geez, You're so impatient. Hey, stop, I can undress myself. Vegita! You're gonna rip the strap! Hold on! What the fuck man, you already have the condom on? Vegita, hold on a minute! I'm not even that horny yet, don't put it in! Wait, you bastar- Ohhh holy mother of fucking god... okay now I'm horny."
"Well now that that's settled get on top."
"Arite, help me up-"
*pthbth*
~~~~~~
End. :D
Love is a Funny Thing
-------------------------------
Disclaimer: I don't own the anime/manga.
Warning: Sexual content, language, and the truth behind it all.
Many flashbacks occur.
POV from Bulma.
-=Update=-
A/N: Haha, wow, I've been checking my e-mail and saw a few review notifications. I never was really expecting anything great if anything at all. I planned to just write this for kicks, specifically for a friend of mine (I'm not much of a Dragonball fanatic nor a decent writer... I draw though! xb). She had been telling me how she couldn't find many well-written/original one-shot DBZ fics as of late so I decided to give a shot at my penmanship haha. Anyway, I really appreciate all your comments. It kind of encourages me to write more goofy fics, but we'll have to see about that (Maybe one of how clueless Goku was during his first time? Suggestions would be nice). :D
I also fixed up my poor wording, but I'm not guaranteeing any great wording either. xb
~~~~~~
It's weird when I think about it now. Back then I just considered Vegita a total douchebag and a half. Having the idea of him as a husband didn't even cross my mind from a mile away. When I started to gain feelings for the monkey I always tried to act sexy and attractive. All I wanted was his attention. When I got his attention though, everything seemed so serious. We were passionate with each other, always trying to make every situation perfect for love. At least I did.
But what about now? It's been plenty of years after I've encountered the muscle head. Every time we attempt to have an intimate night something goes wrong. Maybe not wrong per se, but funny.
Of course the first time it happened I was down right embarassed...
--
"Vegita, please, fuck me now. Do it, please..."
"Be patient, woman. I'll fuck you when I want to."
"Vegita.. please, stick it in me. I want your co- ahh! Yes, keep going, oh yes, harder! More, Vegita, more!"
"I knew you'd like that. I could go faster if we did doggy-style."
"Oh god, yes, anything for more. Let me get up a seco-"
*pthbth*
"...What the fuck woman!"
"Oh my god! No! I swear, that didn't come from my ass!"
"God damnit, I swear, my boner just died."
--
Vagina farts just shouldn't exist. It totally killed the mood. Those weren't the only thing that killed the mood though. If I can recall every situation, my brain would probably explode.
--
"Hurry up, woman. What's taking so fucking long?"
"Just a second. Why can't you ever learn to have the slightest bit of patience?"
"Whatever. Just come in bed already."
"Why, you must be Mr. Vegita. I'll be your nurse today. I hear you're in need of special treatment?"
"You took half an hour to put on a nurse dress?"
"The headpiece was being a bitch, okay? Now shut up and let me handle this. *Ahem* So what seems to be the problem?"
"I'm fucking horny, that's what's the problem."
"Ugh. Well, let me check your blood pressure."
"Yeah, you can check the blood pressure on my dick."
"You know what? I can't do this."
--
I never tried roleplaying with him ever again.
--
"Vegita, what the fuck, what's with this?"
"You're not fucking holding it tight enough."
"Maybe if you didn't drink so fucking much we'd wouldn't have this problem."
"I only drank 2 beers, woman."
"Well, that just shows you're a fucking lightweight. Why can't it fucking go up?"
"Why can't YOU make it fucking go up?"
"You know what, I'm too fucking horny to wait. I'm just gonna try to ride it like this and maybe it'll get hard that way."
"What? Wait, stop, woman! Hold on, damnit! OW, you mother fucker!"
--
Sometimes the problem wasn't our fault.
--
"Oh, Vegita... yes!"
"You like that, woman?"
"Mm... yes, yes, yess, YE--"
"Mooom... are you in your room? I can't find the graham crackers!"
"...You're fucking kidding me, right? Woman, I thought he was sleeping over at the brat's house!"
"He was going to but something about Chi Chi not being home until late came up."
"Well, do something about this! Make him go away!"
"Uhh, Trunks? Mommy's busy right now. The crackers should be in the lower cupboard in the kitchen!"
"I looked there! They're not there!"
"My god... uhh... check the pantry then!"
"It's not there either!"
"Then they're all gone, sweetie!"
"Can you or daddy go to the store and get some then?"
"Not now, I'm busy!"
"Maybe daddy can, then? He flies fast!"
"Yeah, I'll fly right to his fucking ass and spank it."
"Vegita, be quiet. Trunks, daddy's busy too, so do you think you can wait until tomorrow? The store will close soon anyway, dear."
"But moooooom!"
--
Vegita has always been an ass. Like the time I tried to give him a strip tease.
--
"Mm yeah, why don't you take those pants off and show me what you can do with those hips?"
"Is this bad boy looking for a lapdance?"
"Only if you hurry the fuck up."
"Fine whatever. You want these pants off? You got it."
*Ziip... thump, thump*
"Oh shit, my foot's cau-"
*THUD*
"HAHAHA, WAS THAT PART OF YOUR ACT? MY GOD, WOMAN, YOU ARE HILARIOUS. HAHAHA! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PENIS SOFT, HAHAHA!"
--
Of course there have been several other incidents. But as time went by, I realized that love is never perfect. Not every relationship consists of candle lit rooms with dried rose petals on the bed. If it were, I'm sure it would catch on fire and chaos would ensue.
So here I am now, living my life with the one I love. We may have our ups and downs, but hell, we have a lot of fun.
"Woman, come in bed. Right now."
I guess it is mostly ups since Vegita is pretty awesome in bed.
"Hurry up!"
"I'm coming."
"Get undressed."
"Geez, You're so impatient. Hey, stop, I can undress myself. Vegita! You're gonna rip the strap! Hold on! What the fuck man, you already have the condom on? Vegita, hold on a minute! I'm not even that horny yet, don't put it in! Wait, you bastar- Ohhh holy mother of fucking god... okay now I'm horny."
"Well now that that's settled get on top."
"Arite, help me up-"
*pthbth*
~~~~~~
End. :D