Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Maintaining ❯ Morning Discoveries ( Chapter 12 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: pixelgoddess 
Vegeta and Goku are finally on their own. Goku reveals a big secret. How will Vegeta react?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Angst / Shounen | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.13.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 2.0K | Status: Completed
Vegeta and Goku are finally on their own. Goku reveals a big secret. How will Vegeta react?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Angst / Shounen | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.13.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.2K | Visits: 2.0K | Status: Completed
Maintaining
By Pixelgoddess
Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri. Smut. Violence (later), rape (later), angst (right away). A cheerful Goku. A nice Chichi.
Pairings: Goku/Vegeta, Radditz/Vegeta, OC/Chichi. (Okay, okay, I don't like original characters either, but I think you will forgive me. Besides, she won't mess with your favorite Saiyans at all.) Maybe some other pairs if the mood strikes me.
Summary: Vegeta's life has begun to fall apart, his control slipping away. Will Goku be able to help him hold on, or will he become another victim of Vegeta's past? Yaoi - G/V, Yuri - CC/OC
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. Honestly. How could you think that? I am a goddess, not an extremely wealthy Japanese man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another long chapter - Vegeta and Goku are on their own now, and Vegeta demands some answers. What will Vegeta's reaction be when he finds out about Goku's affairs?
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Chapter 12 - Morning Discoveries
Goku awoke with a groan. It had taken him hours to fall asleep - he realized he was actually *afraid*. This close to Vegeta, he always felt like he was the baka Vegeta said he was. It was usually so easy to anger the prince - granted, he hadn't been as angry lately - but that couldn't last forever.
Even after he had finally fallen asleep he was haunted by strange dreams where he was trapped in a crystal cage. He was able to see everyone, but they didn't see him, passing by and ignoring him as he pounded on the walls, unable to break free.
He dragged himself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. ::What woke me up?:: He cast his senses out, checking the area. Vegeta was still in his room. Goten and Trunks were asleep. Chichi...ahhh...that was it. He grinned. She had promised breakfast for their first morning in the new house - and it smelled great.
He slipped on a pair of loose gi bottoms and padded out to the kitchen. He smiled at his ex as she hummed and bustled around the kitchen. He had never met anyone who liked to cook as much as she did.
"Morning, Chi," he said, leaning over her shoulder to snag a sample.
"Good morning," she answered, slapping his hand away. "Did you sleep well?"
"Mmmmm...not really. Thinking too much." He sat down, elbows on the table, chin in hands.
"You normally fall right asleep. What were you thinking so hard about?"
"Vegeta. Chi, what if...I hadn't considered...what if...what if he only likes women?" There, he had said it - one of his biggest fears. He looked up at her hopefully.
Chichi made a quick laugh and ruffled his hair. "Poor thing. You missed so much when you were gone. Gohan had some problems when he was growing up - some Saiyan behaviors were causing him problems. I didn't know what to do and asked for Vegeta's help."
"Gohan? What was wrong?" This was something he did regret about staying in Otherworld - not being there for his sons.
"He was just confused - apparently his Saiyan side was telling him one thing, his human side another. Puberty is rough on any kid - he just needed Vegeta to assure him he wasn't *weird*."
"Weird? Gohan isn't weird." How could he ever think that about himself?
"You know how kids are." She shrugged her shoulders. "They all think they are the only person in the world who feels like this. Gohan was struggling with the whole gay or straight thing."
Goku blinked. Gohan? Having sex? Logically he shouldn't have been surprised at the thought, but he still saw Gohan as a little boy. And he knew from personal experience how painful it was to be rejected by someone he thought he could trust. Was his son going to have to go through that too? And what about Videl? "Gohan is gay?"
She saw the pained look on his face and understood. "I think he experimented both ways - but his preference seems to be girls. Other than teaching him about pregnancy and disease, I just made sure he had a supply of condoms and basically left him alone. Vegeta said he had answered Gohan's questions - and I quote - 'He is Saiyan. We choose on strength, not sex.' So...I don't think you need to worry about that."
Goku's mouth hung open. The whole conversation threw him. He knew she was more relaxed now, but this was Chichi talking like this. And Vegeta talked to her about sex?
"The brat is fine, Kakarott. Leave him alone," Vegeta said, walking into the kitchen.
Goku pushed his chair back from the table in shock, the urge to flee nearly overwhelming him. He stared at Vegeta wide-eyed. ::Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.:: He hadn't sensed Vegeta leaving his room. How much had he heard? What would he do? He got up to help Chichi. Anything to give him time to recover his composure.
"Good morning, Vegeta," Chichi said with a smile. "Get some coffee and sit down. Breakfast is almost ready."
Vegeta grunted in agreement. He was exhausted, but sleep was impossible. Frieza was constantly in his dreams, reminding him of every defeat, every failure. In his nightmares the lizard imprisoned him, laughing. His red eyes would bore into him as he taunted him with his lack of friends and family. As usual, he'd given the exercise up as pointless hours ago and had just sat in a chair, watching the slow crawl of the stars across the sky.
Now he glared at the younger Saiyan, watching his tail twitch, as he put the food on the table. It had happened again. He had hoped - wished - that he could rely on Kakarott, but it didn't look like that was going to be possible. Kakarott was hiding something from him and he was determined to discover what.
"You two are going to be on your own for the next few days," Chichi told them as she bustled around the kitchen. "Trunks is staying with us for the next few days, and Rezu and I are taking the boys out of town."
Goku sat down and began filling his plate. "Where are you going?" he asked between bites.
"Disney for Gay Day - Rezu's arranged for us to meet with some of her friends there. Unless, of course you two want to come along." She smirked as she felt Goku's tail slap her in the butt in warning.
Goku was a little annoyed. What was she trying to do to him? He already felt awkward enough as it was. Now she was trying to get them to go to a gay event.
Vegeta growled in annoyance. "I do not go to amusement parks, woman."
"Your loss," she said with a laugh. "I hope you guys have learned enough cooking to survive. I've stocked plenty of food for you to prepare. We don't get meals delivered up here. Breakfast this morning was a special treat, remember."
"It's very good, Chichi," Goku said. "Thank you for doing this for us."
"I've got to get back before the boys wake up. Rezu is working on their breakfast, but she doesn't cook as well as I do." She bent down to kiss Goku on the forehead, then after a moments hesitation repeated the action with Vegeta.
He snapped his dark eyes up at her, a mix of anger and confusion. "What was that for, woman?"
"Welcome to the family, Vegeta," she said with a smile, then left the house.
Vegeta stared after her, scowling. What the hell was that about? This wasn't his family - Trunks was his blood. No one would *choose* to include him - Bulma had proved that to him.
Goku had watched Chichi in shock. He knew she had changed while he was dead, but this was beyond belief. Had she been suppressing this part of herself while they were married? She had told him how much more comfortable she was with herself since she accepted herself and came out. He hadn't realized how true that was. This was not the same angry woman he had been married to. Now she seemed so happy and sure of herself - confident, even around Vegeta.
His tail thrashed behind him in agitation. Maybe he needed to follow her example. He wasn't doing well now. The prince made him so nervous. He questioned everything he did - everything he said. He had been ignoring his instincts in his dealings with Vegeta lately - now he analyzed every word before he said it.
"Kakarott! Answer me, damn it!"
He suddenly became aware that Vegeta was talking to him, anger evident. "I'm sorry Vegeta, I was just thinking. What did you say?"
"I asked you what the hell happened with you two." He *would* find out - he'd make the younger Saiyan tell him why he was acting so strangely.
Goku was confused. "I told you the other day."
Vegeta was annoyed. He would get to the bottom of this mystery. "You didn't tell me everything, Kakarott. I don't know what it is, but you left something out. Your explanation is incomplete." He pushed his empty plate away and leaned back in his chair. He stared at Kakarott; arms crossed over his chest, tail tip twitching beside him.
Goku swallowed, nervous. He wasn't ashamed of anything he had done, but had been shocked at the horror and revulsion that had been expressed when he had tried to talk to one of his friends. He had known Krillin longer than anyone, but the slightest mention to him of two men in love brought out disgusting and hateful remarks. He had decided then not to tell most of his friends - afraid of their rejection. So far, Piccolo and Chichi had been the only ones he had told everything. Chichi had said Vegeta wouldn't be the same, but he couldn't be sure - after all, among humans this was a big deal. And if Vegeta reacted the same way, there was no chance...and he was so tired of being alone.
Vegeta watched him closely, waiting. He could smell Kakarott's nervousness. For some reason it bothered him to see the younger Saiyan afraid of him. He knew he hadn't done anything to him to cause this reaction.
"Damn it Kakarott! What the hell is wrong with you?" he finally growled, all patience gone. "So what - you split up. I want to know why! Why are you so nervous? What are you hiding? What did you do, rape someone?"
Goku's eyes widened in shock. "NO! I would never do something like that!" Vegeta was angry with him, but why?
Vegeta smirked at him. "I didn't think you did. Then what?"
"Well... Chichi said we could try again, if I insisted on it. But she was so happy...and I... I didn't really want to be married anymore..." He tried to avoid reading Vegeta - he had been relying on that so much lately...maybe that was the problem.
"I...I had two...affairs...when I was in Otherworld...and I...I...realized I...couldn't be happy married to Chichi anymore." He stared down at his plate, looking at his distorted reflection.
"So, you slept with other women. So what? This isn't answering my question, Kakarott."
Goku looked up at the prince. "They were men, Vegeta." He was so afraid that he would be rejected. What would he do if Vegeta reacted the way Krillin had?
Vegeta just stared. This was what Kakarott was nervous about? He was not one of these foolish ningen. Then again, the other Saiyan had been raised as one of them. Now that he thought about it, sex with a man probably went against everything he had been taught. And that meant...
"You tried to tell this to one of your idiot friends..."
Goku just nodded.
"...and they said it was wrong."
"Not Piccolo - he was okay, but... but...Krillin did. I just left..."
Vegeta growled. "I should have killed the short little bastard when I had the chance!"
Goku looked up through his bangs, amazed. Vegeta didn't seem to be angry or disgusted. "That was one of the reasons Chichi kicked him, I think."
"She knows?"
"Yes. She said she was happy I wasn't ignoring my instincts anymore."
"So this is why you were talking about your brat. It is normal, Kakarott. Saiyans look for strong mates. It doesn't matter to us if they are male or female."
"Oh." Goku looked down at the table, playing with his utensils. He read Vegeta and was relieved to find that the prince wasn't upset right now.
"They were warriors?" Naturally Kakarott would pair with another fighter. He wondered if he had realized yet the problems this would cause him in the future. The baka was the strongest being on the planet - there was no one worthy of being with him. Maybe he would have been once, but not since Buu. Now the Namek was the closest in strength, and Vegeta doubted he'd be interested.
"Yes, we trained together..." Goku was amazed that Vegeta was even interested enough to ask him questions.
"Kakarott, is this why you have been acting so strangely lately?" He watched the younger Saiyan's tail, noticing it had ceased its annoying twitch. Apparently he hadn't learned how to control it, or understand the messages it sent through its movements or scent.
"Well, I uh...yeah." This was the perfect opening to ask Vegeta - he knew it - but it could also ruin everything. What would he do if this were Piccolo? He would ask *him*...
"Baka. If you didn't force them, I don't give a damn who you fucked." That damned tail was trying to pacify *him*? Kakarott wanted his approval?
"Vegeta...have...have you ever...?" He was so nervous. He shouldn't do this. What would Vegeta say?
He stared at Kakarott as he suddenly realized where this was going. ::Shit. Do I want to tell Kakarott this?:: He had never told anyone about what Frieza had done, and he wasn't about to now. But Radditz...he was the only one he had ever voluntarily been with.
"...besides Bulma...been...slept with..."
Damn it, there it was again. Kakarott was afraid again. It was starting to get on his nerves. "Kakarott, are you trying to ask if I fucked anyone besides the bitch?"
Vegeta was angry with him, and he couldn't do anything about it. He had already gone too far. But Vegeta - just by his language - there was something he didn't want to tell him. He did know the prince well enough to have learned the coarser his language, the less he wanted to reveal.
He had asked about something Vegeta didn't want to talk about. He should never have questioned him...he wished he could take it back. Goku was sure he didn't want to hear the answer. He couldn't stop himself and nodded.
"Radditz," he snapped, perversely satisfied when Kakarott pushed back from the table to stare at him with shock-filled eyes.
"My brother?" he whispered. "You and Radditz...?" Was this hurt his or Vegeta's? It was so long ago. "Were you in love?"
Vegeta barked a laugh. "Love? I have never loved anyone, Kakarott. It doesn't exist."
"That's not true..." Goku whispered.
"He was just my crew. He was convenient." Vegeta regretted the words even as he said them. He was degrading one of the few good things in his life. He wanted to take his words back.
Goku felt Vegeta's sudden stab of pain and knew he was lying. "I'm sorry Vegeta," he said softly. "I wish I could bring him back for you."
Vegeta looked away, unable to meet Kakarott's eyes. "I looked for him - in hell. He was gone."
"Vegeta, I..."
"It was a lifetime ago, Kakarott. It doesn't matter anymore." He had to leave, *now*. He was too close to losing control again. He couldn't let him see how weak he had become. He coiled his tail tightly around his waist and rose and left the house.
Goku just stared as he left. He couldn't shut Vegeta's pain out - there was just too much. There was no way Vegeta would ever accept him - he had killed his lover. And that's what they were, even if the prince didn't say it. And now he was drowning in his sorrow and Vegeta's. Goku buried his head in his arms and wept.
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Notes:
GayDay is lots of fun to go to, but I do have to say the guys do tend to be a bit more...flamboyant...in their display there. Everyone is encouraged to wear red. One guy also wore red sequined pants. Another pair of guys wore Mickey the Groom and Minnie the Bride ears. If you are really interested, the web site is www. Gayday .com. (take out the spaces).
Hmmm...someday maybe a short story of Trunks and Goten at GayDay... *snicker* ...if they do, they can compare tails with Mickey.
This story is over 70 pages in Word now...something like 5000 views everywhere it is posted...and only 50 or so reviews. *mutter*
By Pixelgoddess
Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri. Smut. Violence (later), rape (later), angst (right away). A cheerful Goku. A nice Chichi.
Pairings: Goku/Vegeta, Radditz/Vegeta, OC/Chichi. (Okay, okay, I don't like original characters either, but I think you will forgive me. Besides, she won't mess with your favorite Saiyans at all.) Maybe some other pairs if the mood strikes me.
Summary: Vegeta's life has begun to fall apart, his control slipping away. Will Goku be able to help him hold on, or will he become another victim of Vegeta's past? Yaoi - G/V, Yuri - CC/OC
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. Honestly. How could you think that? I am a goddess, not an extremely wealthy Japanese man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another long chapter - Vegeta and Goku are on their own now, and Vegeta demands some answers. What will Vegeta's reaction be when he finds out about Goku's affairs?
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Chapter 12 - Morning Discoveries
Goku awoke with a groan. It had taken him hours to fall asleep - he realized he was actually *afraid*. This close to Vegeta, he always felt like he was the baka Vegeta said he was. It was usually so easy to anger the prince - granted, he hadn't been as angry lately - but that couldn't last forever.
Even after he had finally fallen asleep he was haunted by strange dreams where he was trapped in a crystal cage. He was able to see everyone, but they didn't see him, passing by and ignoring him as he pounded on the walls, unable to break free.
He dragged himself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. ::What woke me up?:: He cast his senses out, checking the area. Vegeta was still in his room. Goten and Trunks were asleep. Chichi...ahhh...that was it. He grinned. She had promised breakfast for their first morning in the new house - and it smelled great.
He slipped on a pair of loose gi bottoms and padded out to the kitchen. He smiled at his ex as she hummed and bustled around the kitchen. He had never met anyone who liked to cook as much as she did.
"Morning, Chi," he said, leaning over her shoulder to snag a sample.
"Good morning," she answered, slapping his hand away. "Did you sleep well?"
"Mmmmm...not really. Thinking too much." He sat down, elbows on the table, chin in hands.
"You normally fall right asleep. What were you thinking so hard about?"
"Vegeta. Chi, what if...I hadn't considered...what if...what if he only likes women?" There, he had said it - one of his biggest fears. He looked up at her hopefully.
Chichi made a quick laugh and ruffled his hair. "Poor thing. You missed so much when you were gone. Gohan had some problems when he was growing up - some Saiyan behaviors were causing him problems. I didn't know what to do and asked for Vegeta's help."
"Gohan? What was wrong?" This was something he did regret about staying in Otherworld - not being there for his sons.
"He was just confused - apparently his Saiyan side was telling him one thing, his human side another. Puberty is rough on any kid - he just needed Vegeta to assure him he wasn't *weird*."
"Weird? Gohan isn't weird." How could he ever think that about himself?
"You know how kids are." She shrugged her shoulders. "They all think they are the only person in the world who feels like this. Gohan was struggling with the whole gay or straight thing."
Goku blinked. Gohan? Having sex? Logically he shouldn't have been surprised at the thought, but he still saw Gohan as a little boy. And he knew from personal experience how painful it was to be rejected by someone he thought he could trust. Was his son going to have to go through that too? And what about Videl? "Gohan is gay?"
She saw the pained look on his face and understood. "I think he experimented both ways - but his preference seems to be girls. Other than teaching him about pregnancy and disease, I just made sure he had a supply of condoms and basically left him alone. Vegeta said he had answered Gohan's questions - and I quote - 'He is Saiyan. We choose on strength, not sex.' So...I don't think you need to worry about that."
Goku's mouth hung open. The whole conversation threw him. He knew she was more relaxed now, but this was Chichi talking like this. And Vegeta talked to her about sex?
"The brat is fine, Kakarott. Leave him alone," Vegeta said, walking into the kitchen.
Goku pushed his chair back from the table in shock, the urge to flee nearly overwhelming him. He stared at Vegeta wide-eyed. ::Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.:: He hadn't sensed Vegeta leaving his room. How much had he heard? What would he do? He got up to help Chichi. Anything to give him time to recover his composure.
"Good morning, Vegeta," Chichi said with a smile. "Get some coffee and sit down. Breakfast is almost ready."
Vegeta grunted in agreement. He was exhausted, but sleep was impossible. Frieza was constantly in his dreams, reminding him of every defeat, every failure. In his nightmares the lizard imprisoned him, laughing. His red eyes would bore into him as he taunted him with his lack of friends and family. As usual, he'd given the exercise up as pointless hours ago and had just sat in a chair, watching the slow crawl of the stars across the sky.
Now he glared at the younger Saiyan, watching his tail twitch, as he put the food on the table. It had happened again. He had hoped - wished - that he could rely on Kakarott, but it didn't look like that was going to be possible. Kakarott was hiding something from him and he was determined to discover what.
"You two are going to be on your own for the next few days," Chichi told them as she bustled around the kitchen. "Trunks is staying with us for the next few days, and Rezu and I are taking the boys out of town."
Goku sat down and began filling his plate. "Where are you going?" he asked between bites.
"Disney for Gay Day - Rezu's arranged for us to meet with some of her friends there. Unless, of course you two want to come along." She smirked as she felt Goku's tail slap her in the butt in warning.
Goku was a little annoyed. What was she trying to do to him? He already felt awkward enough as it was. Now she was trying to get them to go to a gay event.
Vegeta growled in annoyance. "I do not go to amusement parks, woman."
"Your loss," she said with a laugh. "I hope you guys have learned enough cooking to survive. I've stocked plenty of food for you to prepare. We don't get meals delivered up here. Breakfast this morning was a special treat, remember."
"It's very good, Chichi," Goku said. "Thank you for doing this for us."
"I've got to get back before the boys wake up. Rezu is working on their breakfast, but she doesn't cook as well as I do." She bent down to kiss Goku on the forehead, then after a moments hesitation repeated the action with Vegeta.
He snapped his dark eyes up at her, a mix of anger and confusion. "What was that for, woman?"
"Welcome to the family, Vegeta," she said with a smile, then left the house.
Vegeta stared after her, scowling. What the hell was that about? This wasn't his family - Trunks was his blood. No one would *choose* to include him - Bulma had proved that to him.
Goku had watched Chichi in shock. He knew she had changed while he was dead, but this was beyond belief. Had she been suppressing this part of herself while they were married? She had told him how much more comfortable she was with herself since she accepted herself and came out. He hadn't realized how true that was. This was not the same angry woman he had been married to. Now she seemed so happy and sure of herself - confident, even around Vegeta.
His tail thrashed behind him in agitation. Maybe he needed to follow her example. He wasn't doing well now. The prince made him so nervous. He questioned everything he did - everything he said. He had been ignoring his instincts in his dealings with Vegeta lately - now he analyzed every word before he said it.
"Kakarott! Answer me, damn it!"
He suddenly became aware that Vegeta was talking to him, anger evident. "I'm sorry Vegeta, I was just thinking. What did you say?"
"I asked you what the hell happened with you two." He *would* find out - he'd make the younger Saiyan tell him why he was acting so strangely.
Goku was confused. "I told you the other day."
Vegeta was annoyed. He would get to the bottom of this mystery. "You didn't tell me everything, Kakarott. I don't know what it is, but you left something out. Your explanation is incomplete." He pushed his empty plate away and leaned back in his chair. He stared at Kakarott; arms crossed over his chest, tail tip twitching beside him.
Goku swallowed, nervous. He wasn't ashamed of anything he had done, but had been shocked at the horror and revulsion that had been expressed when he had tried to talk to one of his friends. He had known Krillin longer than anyone, but the slightest mention to him of two men in love brought out disgusting and hateful remarks. He had decided then not to tell most of his friends - afraid of their rejection. So far, Piccolo and Chichi had been the only ones he had told everything. Chichi had said Vegeta wouldn't be the same, but he couldn't be sure - after all, among humans this was a big deal. And if Vegeta reacted the same way, there was no chance...and he was so tired of being alone.
Vegeta watched him closely, waiting. He could smell Kakarott's nervousness. For some reason it bothered him to see the younger Saiyan afraid of him. He knew he hadn't done anything to him to cause this reaction.
"Damn it Kakarott! What the hell is wrong with you?" he finally growled, all patience gone. "So what - you split up. I want to know why! Why are you so nervous? What are you hiding? What did you do, rape someone?"
Goku's eyes widened in shock. "NO! I would never do something like that!" Vegeta was angry with him, but why?
Vegeta smirked at him. "I didn't think you did. Then what?"
"Well... Chichi said we could try again, if I insisted on it. But she was so happy...and I... I didn't really want to be married anymore..." He tried to avoid reading Vegeta - he had been relying on that so much lately...maybe that was the problem.
"I...I had two...affairs...when I was in Otherworld...and I...I...realized I...couldn't be happy married to Chichi anymore." He stared down at his plate, looking at his distorted reflection.
"So, you slept with other women. So what? This isn't answering my question, Kakarott."
Goku looked up at the prince. "They were men, Vegeta." He was so afraid that he would be rejected. What would he do if Vegeta reacted the way Krillin had?
Vegeta just stared. This was what Kakarott was nervous about? He was not one of these foolish ningen. Then again, the other Saiyan had been raised as one of them. Now that he thought about it, sex with a man probably went against everything he had been taught. And that meant...
"You tried to tell this to one of your idiot friends..."
Goku just nodded.
"...and they said it was wrong."
"Not Piccolo - he was okay, but... but...Krillin did. I just left..."
Vegeta growled. "I should have killed the short little bastard when I had the chance!"
Goku looked up through his bangs, amazed. Vegeta didn't seem to be angry or disgusted. "That was one of the reasons Chichi kicked him, I think."
"She knows?"
"Yes. She said she was happy I wasn't ignoring my instincts anymore."
"So this is why you were talking about your brat. It is normal, Kakarott. Saiyans look for strong mates. It doesn't matter to us if they are male or female."
"Oh." Goku looked down at the table, playing with his utensils. He read Vegeta and was relieved to find that the prince wasn't upset right now.
"They were warriors?" Naturally Kakarott would pair with another fighter. He wondered if he had realized yet the problems this would cause him in the future. The baka was the strongest being on the planet - there was no one worthy of being with him. Maybe he would have been once, but not since Buu. Now the Namek was the closest in strength, and Vegeta doubted he'd be interested.
"Yes, we trained together..." Goku was amazed that Vegeta was even interested enough to ask him questions.
"Kakarott, is this why you have been acting so strangely lately?" He watched the younger Saiyan's tail, noticing it had ceased its annoying twitch. Apparently he hadn't learned how to control it, or understand the messages it sent through its movements or scent.
"Well, I uh...yeah." This was the perfect opening to ask Vegeta - he knew it - but it could also ruin everything. What would he do if this were Piccolo? He would ask *him*...
"Baka. If you didn't force them, I don't give a damn who you fucked." That damned tail was trying to pacify *him*? Kakarott wanted his approval?
"Vegeta...have...have you ever...?" He was so nervous. He shouldn't do this. What would Vegeta say?
He stared at Kakarott as he suddenly realized where this was going. ::Shit. Do I want to tell Kakarott this?:: He had never told anyone about what Frieza had done, and he wasn't about to now. But Radditz...he was the only one he had ever voluntarily been with.
"...besides Bulma...been...slept with..."
Damn it, there it was again. Kakarott was afraid again. It was starting to get on his nerves. "Kakarott, are you trying to ask if I fucked anyone besides the bitch?"
Vegeta was angry with him, and he couldn't do anything about it. He had already gone too far. But Vegeta - just by his language - there was something he didn't want to tell him. He did know the prince well enough to have learned the coarser his language, the less he wanted to reveal.
He had asked about something Vegeta didn't want to talk about. He should never have questioned him...he wished he could take it back. Goku was sure he didn't want to hear the answer. He couldn't stop himself and nodded.
"Radditz," he snapped, perversely satisfied when Kakarott pushed back from the table to stare at him with shock-filled eyes.
"My brother?" he whispered. "You and Radditz...?" Was this hurt his or Vegeta's? It was so long ago. "Were you in love?"
Vegeta barked a laugh. "Love? I have never loved anyone, Kakarott. It doesn't exist."
"That's not true..." Goku whispered.
"He was just my crew. He was convenient." Vegeta regretted the words even as he said them. He was degrading one of the few good things in his life. He wanted to take his words back.
Goku felt Vegeta's sudden stab of pain and knew he was lying. "I'm sorry Vegeta," he said softly. "I wish I could bring him back for you."
Vegeta looked away, unable to meet Kakarott's eyes. "I looked for him - in hell. He was gone."
"Vegeta, I..."
"It was a lifetime ago, Kakarott. It doesn't matter anymore." He had to leave, *now*. He was too close to losing control again. He couldn't let him see how weak he had become. He coiled his tail tightly around his waist and rose and left the house.
Goku just stared as he left. He couldn't shut Vegeta's pain out - there was just too much. There was no way Vegeta would ever accept him - he had killed his lover. And that's what they were, even if the prince didn't say it. And now he was drowning in his sorrow and Vegeta's. Goku buried his head in his arms and wept.
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Notes:
GayDay is lots of fun to go to, but I do have to say the guys do tend to be a bit more...flamboyant...in their display there. Everyone is encouraged to wear red. One guy also wore red sequined pants. Another pair of guys wore Mickey the Groom and Minnie the Bride ears. If you are really interested, the web site is www. Gayday .com. (take out the spaces).
Hmmm...someday maybe a short story of Trunks and Goten at GayDay... *snicker* ...if they do, they can compare tails with Mickey.
This story is over 70 pages in Word now...something like 5000 views everywhere it is posted...and only 50 or so reviews. *mutter*