Maintaining

By Pixelgoddess

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri. Smut. Violence (later), rape (later), angst (right away). A Goku that started out cheerful, but is now as angst-filled as Vegeta. A nice dyke Chichi.

Pairings: Goku/Vegeta, Radditz/Vegeta, Chichi/OC. (Okay, okay, I don't like original characters either, but I think you will forgive me. Besides, she won't mess with your favorite Saiyans at all.) Maybe some other pairs if the mood strikes me.

Summary: Vegeta's life has begun to fall apart, his control slipping away. Will Goku be able to help him hold on, or will he become another victim of Vegeta's past? Yaoi - G/V, R/V, Yuri - CC/OC

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. Honestly. How could you think that? I am a goddess, not an extremely wealthy Japanese man.

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Chapter 17 - Steam

"Vegeta," he said, struggling to keep his hands still as he spoke, "You are the *strongest* person I know. There is more to you than just physical strength - and I can help you get that back. I dreamed about you all the time in Otherworld. I love *you*. You are the only person I want - if you will have me."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Vegeta slowly blinked, trying to get his bearings. He was sprawled across a warm body, legs and tails entwined, his arm stretched across a sculpted chest, his head resting on a shoulder. He breathed in the scent of forest and earth…Kakarott. He shifted, trying to get closer to him, purring as he felt Kakarott's arms drawing him near.

It had been so long since he had felt so safe - even with Radditz he knew it was only an illusion. On some level it was like he was a child again - needing protection from the world. He knew some part of him should resent that - should hate that he had become willing to accept outside help. His entire life he had been alone, engaged in a never-ending battle against everyone - including himself. It had been hard accepting the fact that the strength he thought he could depend on wasn't enough - it was never enough. He had fought for so long and he was tired of denying what he wanted.

He wanted…Kakarott…strong, trustworthy - safe. Kakarott could have easily taken advantage of his weakness - others had in the past - he could have used him or killed him - but he hadn't. Vegeta was sure that Kakarott would have stopped instantly if he had refused - no matter how much it would have hurt him. That was a strength Vegeta had never experienced - 'No' had never meant 'No' before.

He felt a soothing hand stroking his back, a rumbling under his palm. He distractedly watched his own hand caressing a smooth, hard chest. This was a luxury he rarely had with Radditz - the opportunity to stay close and be held. There was too much danger of being caught on board ship. Habit made him want to leap out of bed and get dressed, but he resisted, reminding himself he was safe, already becoming addicted to the feel of Kakarott against him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

Vegeta tilted his head to look at the source of the softly voiced question. Kakarott's eyes were bright and smiling. He looked back down, his hand having trailed lower, his palm now resting, unmoving on a flat muscular abdomen, feeling the bright ki that pulsed beneath him.

"Just remembering," he murmured.

Goku shuddered at the delicate touch of his prince. Vegeta seemed unaware of what his fingertips were doing to him, thrilling him out of his slumber. He was actually grateful when Vegeta pressed his whole hand against him, quelling the quivering caused by his prince's unintentional tickling.

He closed his eyes and held Vegeta tighter, burying his nose in the chestnut hair, breathing in his fire. He stayed that way, cradling his prince, gently stroking him, as he felt Vegeta's emotions churning, his own remarkably calm. He had his prince, and he had no intention of ever letting him go.

Vegeta chuckled as he heard and felt Kakarott's stomach complain.

"Sorry, Vegeta," he said, laughing.

Vegeta regretfully slid out of Kakarott's embrace enough to twist around so he could prop himself up to look down at the hungry Saiyan. Kakarott's hands stayed in contact, one sliding down to his hip, and the other threading through his hair.

"How long has it been since you've eaten, Kakarott?" he asked, studying the coffee colored eyes, noticing how much darker and brighter they were than Radditz'. He watched him as he considered the answer, surprised at the response that it had been nearly a day. He narrowed his eyes as Kakarott continued his explanation - the younger Saiyan had been worried about *him*? Enough to go without eating? Had he really been *that* sick?

"Tell you what, Vegeta," Goku said, sitting up, "Why don't we take a shower before we are permanently stuck to each other? Then I'll make us some breakfast." He grinned as Vegeta looked down at himself and grimaced.

"Hn," Vegeta agreed, rising from the bed and padding to the bathroom, tail swaying behind him, noticing that Kakarott was following. Once in the over-sized room, Kakarott took charge and he leaned back against the sink, watching the tall Saiyan turning the water on, scooping up towels and making a pile of them, humming and tail flying high the entire time. Vegeta turned away to watch the water as steam began to fill the room, feeling a tiny itch of discomfort - the shower had been Jeice's favorite area…

~~It's going to happen again - and you won't be able to stop him.~~

--He would stop if I asked…--

~~Do you really believe that?~~

Goku stopped bustling around the room to study his prince. He had felt a strange *wobble* to Vegeta's ki and a spike of tension passing through him. Vegeta was staring at the steady stream of water, his tail tightly coiled around his waist. He sighed sadly - maybe he was expecting too much, too soon. He had to keep reminding himself that this was a new experience for Vegeta - and he had to take his time.

Vegeta was lost in the past, watching himself fighting the red creature, still losing, but finally causing enough damage to make Jeice remember the cost in blood of touching a Saiyan prince. His aggression had ultimately turned the defeat into a twisted victory. It had taken him years to be strong enough to resist the powerful red soldier, but apparently Jeice had realized how close the contest had been - he had never touched him again.

Vegeta made a startled inhalation when he realized Kakarott was standing in front of him. He looked up to see concerned eyes staring down at him, trying to determine just what it was Kakarott had said. He searched his memory of the last few minutes and realized he hadn't heard a word.

"I'm sorry, Kakarott… What did you say?" he finally asked.

Goku looked down at the prince, trying to figure out how to… ::Hell, I should never have assumed… Is there nowhere he feels safe?::

"It's okay, Vegeta. I just said I would go back to my room and get cleaned up there. I'll wait until you're done so you'll have enough water pressure."

Vegeta wanted to growl at himself. This was stupid! He was letting himself be pushed around by things that had happened years ago! He would not have Kakarott thinking he was a frightened child! He *knew* his doubts weren't real - he would prove it to himself and silence the whispers in his head. He made up his mind to encourage a willing Kakarott to give him the attention he had always wanted but never had.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kakarott. Get your ass in there. I expect you to scrub my back, after all." He smirked at his pleased grin - he hadn't expected him to object. He fully cooperated when the tall Saiyan bent down to kiss him.

Goku stood up and laughed, pleased to see a hint of the old Vegeta returning. He twined his tail around Vegeta's wrist, backing up, gently pulling him into the damp heat. He guided the prince under the stream, inordinately charmed when the usually upright hair wilted under the flow. He couldn't help himself and chuckled at the sight of the proud prince looking like a wet dog, a few stray strands drooping forward over his eyes.

"Kakarott," Vegeta warned, glaring at him, "If you say I look kawaii, I will hit you." He recognized that look - Bulma had said that to him once, and he had not been amused. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned his back on the younger Saiyan. He glanced over his shoulder and smirked. "And just for laughing, you have to wash my hair too."

Goku purred and coiled his tail around Vegeta's waist, bending over to whisper in his ear, "Anything for my prince…"

He slowly drew shampoo-coated fingers through chestnut spikes, marveling again at the satin texture and thickness of Vegeta's hair. His fingertips dove through the strands to massage his scalp, eliciting a satisfied sigh from his prince. Vegeta's thoughts had shut down again and he was *in* his prince again - feeling him safe and relaxed.

Goku hadn't realized before this instant that Vegeta felt *safe* with him - he suddenly wanted to fling his arms around him, crush him against his chest, tell him in gushing detail just how much he loved him. He suppressed most of that urge, but couldn't resist sighing in his prince's ear, describing his beauty. "Vehgeetaaahh…your hair is silk…your neck…tastes like cinnamon…"

Vegeta gave a breathy groan as Kakarott's tongue drew a slick trail from the center of his back between his shoulder blades to the nape of his neck. He put a hand on the wall to hold himself up as Kakarott continued to wash him. He felt him dragging a sponge over his back, sometimes replacing it with kisses and licks or delicate nails traced over scarred flesh. The younger Saiyan never stopped his murmuring, singing his praises, panting his craving - Vegeta had never heard this from anyone else and found himself eager to receive Kakarott's litany.

Vegeta felt himself becoming aroused under Kakarott's determined attentions, the hot water flowing down his back and chest, the steam filling his lungs. He heard himself purr and growl as the busy hands continued their work, wrapping around him to stroke the contours of his chest and abdomen. He gave a strangled groan when he felt Kakarott's tail trailing down his thigh, but torturously avoiding his aching cock.

Goku moaned when Vegeta's tail coiled tightly around his thigh, it's tip brushing over his entrance, gliding over sensitive skin to bristle against heavy sacs, flicking teasingly over the head of his penis before sliding away to sway next to Vegeta. He reached for his prince, wanting to pull him closer, his need becoming nearly unbearable.

"Stop."

Goku heard the soft-spoken command and froze, his fingers close enough to Vegeta to feel the heat rising from his skin. He panicked, trying to figure out what he had done wrong, desperately trying to read Vegeta's emotions. Goku was confused - Vegeta wasn't upset - he was *pleased*…extremely aroused…satisfied?

"Vegeta?" he whispered, pleading for an explanation, his hands dropping to his sides, tail drooping behind him.

Vegeta turned around to study a very miserable Kakarott.

--I knew he would stop.-

~~It's only been a few seconds. He'll disobey soon.~~

--I'll prove it.-

Vegeta hadn't *really* wanted him to stop - he just had to be sure - and Kakarott had passed the test. He would have to reward him for his restraint. He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, angling his hips so his cock was jutting out at the younger Saiyan. He nearly chuckled when he saw Kakarott lick his lips, unable to tear his eyes away.

"Kakarott, I think I am clean enough. You, on the other hand, are still quite sticky. So get your gorgeous ass under the shower so I can torment you in some appropriately suitable manner."

Goku slowly dragged his eyes up to Vegeta's face, not entirely sure he had heard correctly. Vegeta was…smiling. He was really smiling! Oh…it had been a test - and he had passed!

"So, you really think I have a gorgeous ass?" he asked, waving his tail under Vegeta's nose as he moved where he had been told, a huge smile on his face.

"Quit fishing for compliments, Kakarott," Vegeta said with a laugh. "Now turn around and put your hands on the wall so I can concentrate. I'm working right now, and I don't want to be distracted."

Goku was determined to make his prince trust him. He did as he was told, trembling as soap-slicked fingers skated over his back, gliding down his spine, drifting up to caress his neck. He groaned with pleasure, knees shaking, as Vegeta wrapped his hand around the base of his tail, coating it in lather to the tip with one smooth stroke.

He willingly gave himself up to Vegeta's explorations, sighing and whispering his approval when his prince found an especially sensitive area. His ass was stroked and gently squeezed before the heated fingers glided around to pinch and tease his nipples. ::His hands are so soft, so strong.:: Goku wanted to wrap himself around the prince, but remembering Vegeta's command he restrained himself. He hardly knew that his dripping tail floated behind him to drift up and down Vegeta's back, caressing him.

Goku groaned when he felt Vegeta press against him. Fingers were buried in his hair, gently tugging and twisting his wild spikes. He had never realized Vegeta could be so gentle and…loving. He had half-expected his prince to be wild and aggressive, not this tender person who was driving him mad with touch.

"Vegeta…please…" he begged.

Vegeta smirked at the ache in Kakarott's voice. He had been right - the younger Saiyan would do nothing if he didn't approve. Kakarott had not removed his hands from the wall, even though his fingers writhed as he struggled with his urges.

"What do you want, Kakarott?" he purred as he licked at a shoulder blade, his taste like the scent of a forest.

"T-T-touch you…" he stuttered, twisting his head, trying to see what he could feel Vegeta doing to him.

"Not yet. But you can turn around." He slid his palm over Kakarott's chest, admiring the chiseled muscles. ::So few scars...:: He realized that the younger Saiyan didn't know what to do with his hands, flailing about, lost, trying to follow his orders.

"Hands behind your head, Kakarott. I don't want you to be too tempted yet."

Goku growled with frustration. He was hard, he hurt, he wanted release. He knew Vegeta was testing him…but GodS!…he couldn't take much more. Surely Vegeta was in as much pain as he was. The prince had touched him everywhere - except for his attention-starved erection.

Goku nearly screamed when Vegeta wrapped his hand around his leaking cock, pressing his thumb against the slit. Vegeta's other hand pulled his head down for a kiss, sucking on his lip. Goku groaned and opened his mouth for his prince's invading tongue as Vegeta's hand began stroking him.

Vegeta tongue drove into his mouth in time with his hand's movements. Goku thrust against his hand, barely able to stand. He was so close…he whimpered when Vegeta pulled away. Then Vegeta bent down and sucked hard on a nipple and he screamed his name, his seed coating his prince's hand.

Vegeta moved back slightly as Kakarott collapsed, kneeling in front of him. He was pleased to note that Kakarott's hands had not moved until they dropped down to keep him from falling on his face. He waited until Kakarott had gotten enough control over himself, and stared up at him panting, before he slowly began to lick his hand clean, purring at the taste.

"You - did - very - well, - Kakarott. - I'm - impressed." He sucked and licked his fingers clean between each word. His tail coiled around Kakarott's bicep, the tip stroking his face.

Goku groaned at the erotic sight of his prince, fingers vanishing into his moist, hot mouth. He licked his lips at the treasure before him, Vegeta's erection just inches from his face.

"Ve-gee-tah…can I…touch you now?" he pleaded.

He looked up as Vegeta laughed. ::He laughed!::

"Kakarott, I will be extremely pissed if you don't!" Vegeta said as he twisted his fingers into tousled spikes, amused to realize the young Saiyan's hair didn't flatten like his did.

Goku gave a pleased intake of air, his tail immediately coiling around his prince's thigh. He cupped one ass-cheek, gently kneading and squeezing. His other hand held Vegeta's hip as he dipped forward and kissed the shiny head of his cock. He opened his mouth and enveloped Vegeta's erection, his tongue slick against the veins raised on the hard surface.

Goku held him still when Vegeta tried to thrust into his mouth, making his prince growl with frustration. Goku slid his tail around Vegeta's heavy sac, purring and humming around his erection. He felt his prince tightening beneath him, and swallowed him whole, sucking hard.

Vegeta cried out as he came in his mouth, the prince's fingers seizing his hair and nearly pulling it out at the roots. He greedily drank in his prince, the hands on his hips all that kept Vegeta on his feet.

Kakarott finally released his now limp penis, his tongue quickly dragging up the line drawn between his groin and navel. Vegeta gave a hiss before he felt Kakarott's hands guiding him down to kneel in front of him. Vegeta wrapped his arms around Kakarott's head and neck, claiming his mouth, trying to tell him how much he trusted him with his kiss. He felt Kakarott's arms encircling him, pressing them tightly together, his tongue describing exactly how he felt.

They finally broke their kiss, still clinging to each other, foreheads touching as they panted for air.

"Vegeta, I - Oh shit, oh shit," Goku wailed in shock as he turned and flailed at the shower controls. "Cold, cold, cold!"

Vegeta stepped out of the shower, out of range of the now icy water and laughed as he watched him floundering with the knobs. Goku finally got the water turned off and turned, bangs drooping in his eyes, to face a smiling Vegeta. He just stood and stared, captivated by the expression on his prince's face.

Vegeta swept up a towel with his tail, and was about to begin drying himself off when he noticed Kakarott watching him, grinning.

"Kakarott?" Vegeta asked, slightly unnerved by the other's silence.

"You have a nice smile, Vegeta. You should do it more often," Goku said, feathering his tail on his prince's cheek.

"Hn," Vegeta answered with a smirk, throwing him a towel as he strutted out of the room. "Dry off Kakarott. You may have had a snack, but you promised me breakfast."

TBC

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Notes - I don't know why, but I really struggled with this chapter. I had originally wanted to do more towards pushing the plot on, but the boys resisted. Every time I tried to get them back to the story they jumped into the shower. Rather than fighting them, I just let them go play. Never fear, though! More angst and pain to come! (Sorry kids - a good fuck doesn't cure all ills - it just makes you forget them for awhile.) Just so you know, I see this as a 30+chapter epic - maybe more, because I don't want to rush things. How about some comments? Feedback? You guys have been too quiet!