Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Maintaining ❯ Paranoia ( Chapter 21 )

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri. Smut. Violence, rape, angst, sap. A Goku that started out cheerful, but is now as angst-filled as Vegeta. A nice dyke Chichi.
Pairings: Goku/Vegeta, Radditz/Vegeta, Chichi/OC. (Okay, okay, I don't like original characters either, but I think you will forgive me. Besides, she won't mess with your favorite Saiyans at all.) Maybe some other pairs if the mood strikes me.
Summary: Vegeta's life has begun to fall apart, his control slipping away. Will Goku be able to help him hold on, or will he become another victim of Vegeta's past? Yaoi - G/V, R/V, Yuri - CC/OC
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. Honestly. How could you think that? I am a goddess, not an extremely wealthy Japanese man.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Chapter 21 - Paranoia

"Dende!" he growled, jerking up the Guardian up by the neck and slamming him against a wall.

He ignored Mr. Popo's cries of protest, brandishing a ki-filled palm at the genie.

"Stay out of this!" he snarled, never taking his eyes off the Namek dangling from his grasp.

"P-p-piccolo?" Dende gasped.

"What did you do to Vegeta?" Piccolo demanded, baring his fangs.
~~~~~

"Wh-what are you ta-talking about?" Dende asked, a frightened expression on his face.

"Please, Mr. Piccolo," Mr. Popo begged, " Please put Mr. Dende down. He cannot breathe."

Piccolo snarled, but let go of his victim's neck, dropping him to the floor. He reached down and buried his fingers in the front of Dende's robe, yanking him to his feet.

"You know what I am talking about, you fucking little bastard. One session, and Goku is up and moving around. You've had three days to work on Vegeta, and he is still a mess."

Dende's expression suddenly turned cold. "I am Guardian, Piccolo. I do not have to explain myself to you."

"Don't give me that crap. Don't forget, I've got Kami locked up in here," he said, nodding his head without breaking eye contact. "I know what kind of shit you get up to." He let go and crossed his arms, breathing down on Dende.

Dende just glared back.

"Why did you treat Vegeta like that?"

"Because he is evil!" Dende shouted, trying to shove Piccolo away.

"What? What in the fuck are you talking about kid?"

"He killed all those people at the stadium."

"HE WAS POSSESSED, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Dende shook his head in denial. "You don't know everything. He is evil," he repeated stubbornly.

"I know enough. He's helped protect this planet since he arrived."

"No he hasn't!"

Piccolo glared. "He has become a better person. And don't forget, you little twit, *I* used to be evil."

"But he br-"

Piccolo interrupted him, growling as he stalked up to the young Namek, forcing him to retreat. "As far as I am concerned, *you* are the only evil one here. Vegeta has tried to change - but you, you little bastard, deliberately let him suffer for days."

Dende swallowed and backed away, trying to get away from the angry Namek.

"Did you know that I had to keep him unconscious almost the entire time? Did you know that every time he came to he *screamed*?

"N-n-no," Dende stuttered.

"You wouldn't - hiding in that room of yours - watching things you have no business watching. You've had three days to fix your mistake - did you ever stop to think that what you were doing was wrong?"

"Vegeta doesn't des-" Dende began.

"What are you going to do when Goku finds out? And he will. Have you thought of that?"

"You, you…wouldn't…?" he sputtered, fear filling his eyes.

Piccolo made a terrifying smile. "Funny how you are more afraid of someone who is supposed be good…"

"Goku would never…" Dende tried to back up further, but only ended up forcing his body against the wall.

Piccolo pressed closer, glaring down at the fool, grabbing his chin and jerking it up so Dende could see his bared fangs.

"Yes he would - to protect someone he cares about. You didn't think about that, did you? Goku might forgive you for leaving him like that. But you, brat, have seriously fucked up. You know how he feels about Vegeta."

"But he… Vegeta… the dragonballs…" Dende said, protesting.

"Fuck the dragonballs! Have you forgotten? Goku made you Guardian. Would you like to find out if he can take it away? There is no such thing as a living ex-Guardian…" He let the threat hang in the air, enjoying the stink of fear he caused.

"It is your duty to protect the planet - not judge. Even the dragon didn't think Vegeta is evil - or did you forget that too?"

"But the Kais…" Dende said in a very small voice.

"Fuck the Kais! They are idiots!"

"They said…"

"These are the same Kais that didn't tell us about Bobidi. The same ones that let Gohan be attacked by Bobidi's flunkies. The same ones that hid all the details about Buu from us to protect their own inflated egos. The same ones who let the ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET GET BLOWN UP!"

"But they said he…"

"Brat, I don't care what they said. I want you to get your ass in there and heal Vegeta!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kakarott, I wouldn't blame you if you hated me," he whispered.

"I could never hate you, Vegeta," said a soft voice.

~~~~

Goku looked up to see the shocked expression on his prince's face. Maybe he wasn't supposed to hear Vegeta's remark - but the sorrow…the grief he was feeling - he would have known even if he hadn't heard.

"Kaka-rott?" Vegeta said with a slight hitch as he shakily got to his feet and backed away.

"It wasn't your fault," Goku said as sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, wincing slightly.

"I…" Vegeta began, before turning away, hands trembling as he tried to pour some water.

Goku watched, trying to decide what to do. Until this happened, he hadn't realized how totally trapped and alone Vegeta felt - and if he didn't do something soon he was sure he would lose all chance of freeing his prince.

"Leave that Vegeta. Turn around. Look at me," he pleaded.

Vegeta stopped and stood with his back to him, using the table for support, shaking his head in denial.

Goku stood and moved behind his prince, wrapping his hand around Vegeta's waist, gently drawing him close. He didn't like the emotions the prince was sending - Vegeta was… afraid…of him. Resigned…sad…and in pain? What was going on?

He bent down to whisper in his prince's ear, "Vegeta…I don't understand. Why do you think I would hate you?"

Vegeta just bowed his head, suppressing a moan at the ache even that tiny movement caused. He lightly curled his hand around Kakarott's tail, twining itself trustingly through his fingers.

Vegeta didn't resist as he was gently moved, guided to sit on the edge of the bed. Goku felt how much the movement hurt him, and wondered just how seriously he had been injured.

He kneeled down before Vegeta and looked up into ebony eyes, willing his prince to answer the question.

Vegeta just stared back at him, his own tail curling loosely around Goku's arm.

"Please Vegeta…tell me. I love you. Why would I be angry?"

"I…I…hurt you…almost killed…."

"It wasn't your fault. It was because of that bastard Frieza," Goku insisted.

Vegeta stared for a minute before trying to turn away, but Goku captured his cheek, cupping it in his palm - he would not let him avoid him that easily.

"Why would I be mad at you? You thought you were protecting your son…" Goku took a breath, making his decision.

"You didn't want him to be hurt and raped by Frieza like you were."

Vegeta gaped at him, his breath a 'No' of denial. Oh GodS! He knew! He knew!

~~He won't want anything to do with a weak little whore like you.~~

He knew he was crying in shame, his tears as always betraying him when he was at his lowest point - lost, defeated…with no hope of escape.

The voices were right… How could Kakarott bear to be around someone as weak, as helpless, as useless as he was?

~~He is going to leave you.~~

He was going to lose him - Kakarott would leave him too…GodS he couldn't bear to be alone anymore.

~~No one wants you, little monkey.~~

Goku immediately regretted his words. Vegeta wasn't completely healed - his ki kept shifting; a strange white pulse shuddering through the yellow and green. This wasn't the right time to bring up Frieza - but he wanted Vegeta to know he didn't blame him. What else could he have done? Vegeta would never have told him.

But now…but now Vegeta was struggling to stop crying, and the sorrow and grieving he was feeling were making Goku suffer his loss with him. The fear and loneliness was unbearable, and yet again he wondered how the prince survived feeling so isolated.

He brushed Vegeta's tears away with his thumb, trying to understand exactly what was causing these emotions.

"Vegeta…it's all right. It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong - Frieza did. No one is angry at you," he said softly, taking the prince's hand and gently kissing his palm. He purred as Vegeta's fingers drifted over his lips and chin.

::Please don't leave me.::

Goku blinked in shock. For just a second, he had *heard* Vegeta's thoughts. He tried again, but Vegeta's mind was closed to him again. 'Don't leave?' He stared into black eyes, and suddenly everything clicked.

Vegeta was afraid of him because he was worried he would leave. He had already lost everything else - he was all his prince had left. Vegeta probably blamed himself for the rapes - thinking he could have stopped Frieza if he had been stronger. Now he was weak, and because Vegeta valued strength he was frightened he would be abandoned because of his defeat.

Vegeta watched with worried eyes as Kakarott rose to his feet. ::He's leaving.:: He closed his eyes and turned away, unable to watch. It became harder to ignore the throbbing pain he had been trying to suppress. He willed his tail to be still, trying to avoid the sensation of sharp needles stabbing him every time he moved it. He was unprepared when Kakarott sat beside him, holding him close and stroking his hair.

"How could he have done this to you?" he heard Kakarott whisper.

~~You deserved it for being so weak.~~

Confused, he turned his head to stare at the young Saiyan. Kakarott had left, hadn't he? Was he just imagining this?

~~You don't really believe he will stay, do you?~~

But Kakarott's arms were around him, and he smelled so good, and he felt so protected. The voices were wrong - they had to be. Kakarott had seen…he knew…and still he rescued him… Kakarott wasn't like anyone else he had ever known - even Radditz. Could he really believe him? Was there any chance that he really wasn't angry?

He felt soft lips brushing against his forehead and Kakarott's warm breath above him.

"I'm never going to leave you Vegeta. Your past doesn't matter to me. I love you too much to ever let you go."

He just stared, numb, unable to move or think.

"I'm worried about you - but I'm not angry with you."

This wasn't possible. He didn't understand - he had nothing to compare this to. Radditz would have…GodS…he would have been furious - losing control like that…

But…but…Kakarott was purring, one hand stroking his back, the other feathering over his face, his tail brushing his chest and neck. He began to purr in response, but the sound became a whimper of pain as the vibrations in his chest shot fire through his body.

"Vegeta, what's wrong?" Goku asked with alarm. His own chest hurt in sympathy with the agony his prince was experiencing. Vegeta groaned as he pulled him closer.

"You're still not totally healed - you shouldn't be out of bed." Goku was surprised Vegeta still hurt so much - but then again, he had only provided ki - Vegeta was the core of the attack…maybe that was normal?

He carefully picked up the prince, wincing at the cries of pain. "I'm sorry Vegeta. I didn't mean to hurt you." He gently sat back in the bed, cradling his prince.

Piccolo sighed as he entered the room. It looked like Vegeta had finally collapsed. ::Stubborn ass.:: Vegeta was resting his head on Goku's shoulder, his hand fisted in the younger Saiyan's shirt. The prince's face was lined - it was obvious that it was hurting to even breathe. Goku's tail was curled around his arm, but Vegeta's tail was lying limply behind him. He didn't think he would ever see the day that the prince would actually allow someone to hold him like Goku was, but he did seem to be content in Goku's arms.

"You two look comfortable."

Piccolo resisted the urge to smirk at the young Saiyan's wide-eyed look of surprise.

"Make sure his Royal Highness stays sitting up - otherwise he'll start to choke."

"I can hear you," Vegeta mumbled.

"Good. At least you didn't melt your eardrums, too," Piccolo retorted. He had half-expected Vegeta to try to move, not wanting to be seen like this, but apparently he was too sore and tired to care.

"Bastard," Vegeta said groggily.

"It's part of my charm," Piccolo said, grinning.

Goku wasn't sure how to respond to this exchange. Vegeta wasn't angry or upset with Piccolo. Was this normal for them? None of his friends ever spoke to *him* this way.

"Here," he said, handing Goku a bottle, "Get Vegeta to drink this. There's another one for you."

Goku smelled the liquid, checking it. He wrinkled his nose at the scent.

"What is this?"

"Nutrients - you two haven't eaten anything for days - you've got to have something. Although I didn't think I would ever see the day there would be a Saiyan who wasn't demanding food."

Vegeta cracked his eyes open to see what Goku was trying to give him and grumbled, "I'm not a baby, Namek."

"So quit acting like one. You should have kept your ass in bed."

Goku listened to the banter and grinned. He was beginning to understand. This was just how they talked to each other. Piccolo was Vegeta's friend.

"Fuck off," Vegeta growled, eyes closed, half asleep, the sedative Piccolo had given him already starting to work.

Piccolo smirked. "And if I don't? What are you going to do? Sic your boyfriend on me?"

Goku snapped his head up and stared in shock at the Namek.

"He can kick your ass, Green boy," the prince mumbled, wincing as he shifted in Goku's arms.

A smile lit up Goku's face.

Piccolo chuckled. "He is so out of it right now. He's going to kick my ass for that when he's better."

Goku glanced down to see that Vegeta was finally asleep.

"Why does he still hurt so much? I ache a bit, but nothing like this," Goku asked, stroking his prince's back.

Piccolo hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what to say. He really didn't care what Goku did to Dende, but they still needed the little bastard until the Senzu were ready.

"He was injured a lot worse than you were. Dende has been having problems healing him. He will be able to try again in an hour or two - and the Senzu should be ready in about a day."

Goku gently took the empty drink bottle out of Vegeta's hand. He gave a resigned sigh when he looked up to see Piccolo holding out one for him.

"Drink. Then get some more sleep."

Goku quickly finished the bottle and handed it back.

"Thank you, Piccolo," he said quietly, "For everything. Without you, he would have died."

Piccolo nodded his head. "Take care of him, Goku. He needs you, even if he doesn't say it."

Goku silently watched Piccolo leave.

He wondered how Vegeta would react when he was better. He didn't seem to be bothered by Piccolo seeing them together - which kind of surprised him. His prince was a very private person, but maybe his lack of concern was because he was so hurt. And he really didn't get a chance to talk to him about Frieza - how would Vegeta handle him knowing? Maybe since he knew Vegeta wouldn't try so hard to hide it.

He yawned, suddenly feeling groggy - he had smelled the sedative in the liquid Piccolo had given them, but agreed that they needed it. 'Boyfriend.' He grinned for a moment, breathing in Vegeta's scent. It seemed Piccolo approved, and that helped. Goku curled his arms around his prince before allowing himself to succumb to sleep.

TBC
@@@@@@@@@@

Notes - Before anyone says anything…Piccolo absorbed Kami, so as far as I'm concerned, he isn't living.

GodS! I've become such a sap, haven't I? It will get worse, too. I've already heard an entire future chapter's conversation in my head, and you're gonna cry… *g*

You know - I haven't decided what to do about Dende. I've never really liked the smarmy little twit, and suffer from the urge to kill him just a little. But that leaves that whole missing Dragonball problem - although I do have one twisted, totally fucked up solution that would be so weird it really wouldn't fit in this story.

I need some ideas for short stories, drabbles, one-shots to write as an occasional break. Any suggestions? NO SHOTA! I don't like to read it and I absolutely, positively will not write it - I hesitated before writing the part about Trunks, but since it was a nightmare and not detailed I thought it was okay. If you noticed, I even made sure Vegeta was considered to be old enough - I even gave Frieza some scruples. Because as far as I'm concerned, you mess with a kid like that, you deserve to die. (Okay, I'm done venting now.)

Does anyone take pleas for fan-art? I have this picture I love (take the spaces out of this address) at http:// home.earthlink. net/~likeacat/KatherineHepburn_halfsize .jpg of Katherine Hepburn, but I think the pose would be great for Vegeta seducing Goku. (Jeans and t-shirts would be cool.) I love how she is standing on her toes. Sadly, I can't draw - I tried…sure - I can write, and make jewelry, and do accounting…but I can't draw or sing - *sob*.

I am babbling entirely too much this evening, but…oh well…