Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ MST3K Saiyajin Style ❯ The Way it Never Was - Installment Five ( Chapter 6 )

MST3K Saiyajin Style!~

Chapter 2 - The Way It Never Was part 5~

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> "What are you doing?" ask Piccolo.

Gohan: What are you doing?

Vegeta: I don't know. Ask Piccolo, maybe he'll know.

> Kizar stopped but didn't bother looking back.

Trunks: *Kizar* Ah, the cucumber asked me a question again...

> "What are you doing, Master Kizar?" he corrected himself again.

All four: Again?

Yamcha: But he just did it once!

> "Using fear to manipulate them," he bluntly explained. He then

> continued walking back to the throne room.

> Kit and Trunks had been standing as we last left them for about

> two minutes.

Trunks: When we last left our hero...

Yamcha: For two minutes. Then they got bored and did the Hokey Pokey.

> Trunks was getting impatient seeing how this is a "Fight to the

> Death."

Gohan: That's a song cue if I've ever heard one.

> Kit may have been planning something this whole time.

All four: Duh.

> Trunks had to be ready for anything.

Yamcha: Even the flinging of chocolate pudding.

> Surprisingly, Kit turn his back to Trunks and casually walked

> into the hallway he rolled into.

Vegeta: Rolled?

Yamcha: *Singing* Rollin' rollin' rollin'...

Trunks: You know, the Rolling Poarch Bolders would be a...

All four: ...great name for a rock band.

> Little did Trunks know that, as his back was turning away, Kit

> had gathered some lightning energy in his hand.

Gohan: Wow, he can separate himself into pieces. That's...interesting.

> Trunks didn't lower his defenses, but as of now, he didn't have

> any.

Yamcha: Consequently, he _couldn't_ lower them.

> Plain science gave Kit the advantage here.

Vegeta: Plain old ordinary science.

Yamcha: Watch closely as Mr. Plain Science creeps up, slipping Kit the paper marked `Advantage' and then running all the way back across the room the size of a third-world nation.

> Kit then turned back around and flashed the ball in Trunks's eye.

Gohan: As opposed to throwing it.

> It melted the ice, but it also blinded him.

Yamcha: Ice?

Trunks: Eyebrow splinters, you know.

> Kit took this time to gather some ice energy for a major attack.

Vegeta: Big whoop.

> Able to do two things at once, he was also running through the

> hallway which lead to the upper cliff of the same room.

Gohan: Hallway, cliff and room. One and the same.

> When his vision came back, Trunks was too late.

Trunks: Never saw _that_ one coming, now did we?

All four: Nope.

> Now only was Kit now on the cliff above him, but Kit also had

> all the ice energy he needed to attack.

Trunks: Rarr.

> "Ice Spears!"

Yamcha: ...and his backup singers, the Rolling Poarch Bolders!

Trunks: Either that or Ice Spears: the result of Vanilla Ice and Brittany Spears having a kid.

> yelled Kit. Trunks turned to the voice and

Yamcha: ...screamed `OH MY GOSH, IT'S SOLID SOUND!!!' and ran screaming from the room the size of Pluto and into the Hallway of X-Ray Vision.

> jumped upward to the upper cliff.

Gohan: Because if he had jumped downward to the upper cliff, that would have been silly.

> He then met up with Kit's attack.

Yamcha: They had a nice relaxing lunch together and then decided to go see a movie.

> Several huge shards of ice came flying downward at him.

Trunks: I thought they were spears.

> He dodged what he could.

Vegeta: And got hit by what he couldn't.

> Two shards tore his right pants leg from the knee down; another

> shard nearly took off his left arm. He did escape with a deep but

> non-fatal wound on his shoulder. Amazingly, his blue jacket was

> still in one piece.

Gohan: Except, of course, for the big gaping hole in the shoulder.

> He landed on the edge of the cliff on one knee.

Vegeta: And then started screaming because he realized that such a stupid move shattered his kneecap.

> His jacket was now draped over only his right shoulder while

> still covering the left fore-arm.

Yamcha: Well, _that_ makes no sense.

> He looked at the wound. That's the second scar that Kit has given

> him!

Gohan: Let's add an exclamation point for emphasis, shall we?

> He readjusted his jacket and then eyed Kit.

Yamcha: That sounds dirty.

> Kit was getting oddly tired. His breathing was heavy, and he was

> sweating bullets.

Yamcha: Because Trunks was eyeing him. Kit then thought, `Oo-...'

Trunks and Gohan: *Slap their hands over Yamcha's mouth*

> Trunks, even though the cut on him made him a bit weaker, had

> a lot of energy left in him.

Vegeta: Because he had drunk seven cases of Surge before he left.

Gohan: So he'll be in a sugar coma soon.

> Trunks then launched his attack.

Trunks: Without permission from N.A.S.A.?

Gohan: When was he starting an attack?

> He ran around Kit at the speed of light once more

Yamcha: Again with the speed of light!!

> and slashed at him.

Vegeta: With...?

Gohan: Details are always appreciated.

> When he stopped, he was back where he was before waiting for

> something.

Yamcha: So...when he stopped, he was back where he was before he launched the attack. Then he just decided to sit around and wait for...something. A butterfly, perhaps.

> A split second later, Kit jerked in pain and bits of his clothing

> were being cut.

Yamcha: Talented butterflies.

> Now that's fast.

Gohan: Look, just narrate, don't editorialize...

> With that one attack, Kit was brought to his knees. His head was

> down almost looking like a guillotine victim without the

> guillotine.

Yamcha: Or a gunshot victim without the gunshot.

Trunks: A poisoning victim without the poison.

Vegeta: *Looks at Gohan* You just _had_ to have details, didn't you?

> His breathing was broken,

Trunks: Aww. I broke his breathing.

> and blood dripped from his arms. He gulped down a breathe, and

> his eyes,

Yamcha: He gulped down his eyes?

Vegeta: Bet that hurt.

> and only his eyes, looked up at his opponent.

Gohan: Note! His nose did _not_ look up at his opponent!

Trunks: I'm still trying to figure out how you gulp down a breathe.

> Trunks was walking towards him, sword in hand.

Gohan: ...and song in heart.

> He had that famous ice cold look on his face.

Trunks: Quarter! My trademark is _famous_ now!

Yamcha: Why? Does it dance? Perform show tunes? Juggle?

> He then stopped three inches away from Kit and raised his sword.

> Kit looked downward and closed his eyes waiting for the fatal

> blow. It never came.

Vegeta: Ergo, it wasn't really that fatal.

> He then heard a sword being sheathed. He opened his eyes

> abruptly. There was a Senzu Bean in his grasp. Confused, he

> looked up at Trunks.

Vegeta: Oh, you stupid...

Trunks: Why am I doing this?

> He was no longer a Super Sayian but now his normal purple-hair

> self.

Gohan: ...which is _so_ totally normal.

Trunks: Oh, shut up.

> He too had a Senzu Bean that he popped into his mouth. He

> chewed it and swallowed. In the next instant, a serge of energy

> shot through his body. All the scars healed themselves, and his

> massive yet proportionate muscles were toned to perfection.

Yamcha: Now, in addition to healing wounds and restoring energy, Senzu Beans heal scars and tone your muscles! But wait, there's more!

Gohan: They also do John Wayne impersonations!

Yamcha: _Now_ how much would you pay?

> He then turned his head slightly at Kit.

Trunks: As opposed to `to Kit'.

> He was still confused.

All four: So are we.

> "Eat it," Trunks ordered. Kit shook his head slowly. Trunks then

> grabbed him by the straps of the tank-top and brought his scar

> filled face to his own. "What's your plan now?"

Yamcha: I dunno, maybe world domination.

> "I don't have one anymore," Kit managed to say. His voice was

> all broken and almost at a whisper. "You've won. Kill me."

Trunks: Ok.

> Meanwhile, Kat and the Sayian Kids

Gohan: ...which would be a great name for a rock band...

> were the only ones watching this. Kat was in a state of horror.

Yamcha: Welcome to the beautiful state of Horror! Motto: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Gohan: The fifty-first state, right?

> Her partner and brother was going to be killed in a matter of

> moments right before her eyes.

Vegeta: Good.

> The Sayians were celebrating Trunks's victory.

All four: Whee.

> That is, they were until Goten pointed out that something weird

> was happening.

Yamcha: *Goten* Look, something weird is happening.

Gohan: Boy, _you_ can sure put a damper on a party.

Trunks: There, there. Here, have some more confetti.

> Piccolo's attention was now drawn to the fight.

Gohan: When did he come back?

> "No," Trunks growled in reply.

Yamcha: Setting change!

> He then threw Kit against the cave wall where his hands could

> easily get the Senzu Bean.

Vegeta: Wait, they're in a _cave_ now?

Gohan: Yes, push him further away so he can reach it easier!

> "Eat it," he commanded again.

Trunks: As opposed to `commaning'

> Kit gave him a look of distrust. Trunks suddenly looked evil and

> got an almost angry psychotic look.

Trunks: Rarr.

Gohan: Just an _almost_ angry psychotic look...not an _actual_ angry psychotic look. Just to clear up any confusion.

Trunks: ...quarter?

> He snarled like Vegeta would. His father's side of him is coming

> out.

Yamcha: Again.

Vegeta: It was running for its life.

> "Now!" His voice echoed through the cave. It was at a slight

> growl, and the reverberations almost sounded non-human.

Trunks: Um...yeah.

Gohan: Well, Trunks _is_ an alien, after all. Half, but he is.

> "Please don't. Please don't," begged Kat from the throne room.

Yamcha: *Kat* Don't heal yourself! I want your room!

> She knew she couldn't do anything which made her viewing this

> worst for her.

Gohan: That...makes no sense.

> Kit finally took the Senzu Bean in hand but refrained from eating

> it. Trunks must have been somewhat pleased, for now he just

> walked to the next hallway wondering if that lead to the exit.

Yamcha: *Trunks* I wonder what balsa wood tastes like...

> He stopped a few steps away from the entrance and looked back

> at Kit.

Gohan: He then called back, "Nope, it's an entrance, not an exit."

> Both of their eyes were locked on to the other,

Yamcha: Oww...

Trunks: With or without a padlock?

> and both were cold glances.

Trunks: Quarter!!

Gohan: There are two, so really you're getting fifty cents.

Yamcha: What are you going to do with all those quarters?

Trunks: Well, actually, I had planned to spend them on riotous living.

> Still keeping and eye of Trunks,

Gohan: Still keeping and eye of Trunks?

Yamcha: Is the Eye of Trunks anything like the Eye of Sauron?

Vegeta: Indiana Jones and the Eye of Trunks.

> Kit slowly put the Senzu Bean in his mouth. Trunks turned away

> and heard slight chewing from Kit.

Gohan: Come on, he either heard chewing or he didn't hear chewing.

> He then noticed a shadow raising on the right wall.

Yamcha: Raising what?

Gohan: ...because it was actually a psychedelic drug.

Trunks: Raising on the right wall as opposed to raising on the wrong wall.

Yamcha: All in all, you're just another brick in the wall, you know.

> The shadow then began to get a bit smaller in size as he heard

> the sound of approaching foot steps. The foot steps then stopped

> about three feet behind him. Trunks didn't bother looking back

> over his shoulder. He knew he was the better fighter. If Kit was

> to attack, he would most likely be able to dodge it and then

> attack him.

Trunks: With my back turned?

> "Why did you do that?" ask Kit.

> "I don't kill when forced to," he replied.

Trunks: I only kill when I want to.

> "Besides, something inside me said to wait."

> "Wait for the right moment to kill?" There was a slight

> uncertainty in the way he said that.

> "No," answered Trunks, "just to wait."

Yamcha: It was a little man named Irving.

> He turned around to see Kit's reaction only to be met with the tip

> of a sword pointed at his throat. He stared down at Kit who

> happened to have the same cold stare that Trunks did.

Trunks: NO! _MY_ trademark look!!

> "Is this how I'm gonna be thanked?" he asked in a very territorial

> tone.

Vegeta: What the heck is a territorial tone?

Trunks: My thanks! Mine!!

> "Round two starts now," replied Kit. His voice hinted that he

>wanted to fight and he wanted it to end with a victor.

Gohan: Victor Mature?

Vegeta: Victor/Victoria?

> "If that's the way you want it," Trunks then turned Super Sayian

> again, "then lets go." Kit jumped back and swung his sword

> upwards. In the process, a sheet of ice formed in the shape of the

> area in which he had just sliced through.

All four: Huh?

>The sheet flew towards Trunks at a fast rate, but he easily dodged

> it. As Trunks redrew his own sword, however, the C-shaped

> sheet of ice came rush back at him in reverse.

Trunks: It was a boomerang!

Vegeta: Better duck when it comes rush back at you.

All four: In reverse.

>Keep in mind that Trunks cannot sense any ki from Kit nor has

> he yet to from his attacks. Trunks got into a defensive stance and

> was then captured by the sheet.

Gohan: It was his Halloween costume: the Ice Ghost.

> It wrapped around his waist and then began to freeze the rest of

> his body. As a result, Trunks dropped his sword. The freezing

> didn't stop till his head was left untouched.

Yamcha: So...that means it stopped, right?

> Kit then walked over and picked up Trunks's sword. A cocky

> smile was on his face as he formed scissors with the two swords

> that rested at Trunks's neck.

Trunks: My sword and the two swords resting at my neck? First off, when did those get there? Second, how can he make scissors with three swords?

> He pulled them back preparing to cut our hero's head right off

> like a grape from a vine.

Gohan: Thank you, Lord Metaphor.

Yamcha: We are forever in your debt, Master of Comparison.

> In a last effort, Trunks shifted all of his weight backwards

> avoiding one problem but causing another.

Yamcha: Well, _that_ solved a lot.

> He then began to tumble down the steps in the hallway that he

> thought lead to the exit.

Vegeta: Again with the hallways.

Yamcha: That isn't a _hallway_, that's a _stairwell_.

> His exposed head was being knocked back and forth as his

> frozen body rolled down the stairs.

Yamcha: The Trunks Bobble-Head Doll.

> Half way down the hall, Trunks began to gather some energy. It

> was slowly melting the ice.

Gohan: You'd think that rolling down the stairs would _break_ the ice.

> When his trip ended, he was in another room and saturated with

> ice water.

Trunks: And fortified with Vitamin C!

> He was on his back and had a fairly good angle of the hallway he

> just came down.

Gohan: My, what a good angle I have from the hallway that's really a stairwell I just came down without breaking my Ice Ghost costume!

Yamcha: The Ice Ghost: flinger of pudding and umber butter.

> Kit then appeared from around the corner.

Trunks: Where did the corner come from?

> He jumped the last few steps at Trunks with the swords about to

> pierce him through each lung.

Yamcha: All three of them.

> Trunks rolled away at the last second. He then flipped back to

> his feet and took a defense stance again.

Vegeta: Those don't work, remember? And how can you take any kind of stance with a sheet of ice wrapped around you?

> Kit looked up from the attack at his target. His eyes read

> something other then battle.

Yamcha: Because it made a really sucky book. They read War and Peace. Or maybe Horton Hears a Who.

> He then stood up and threw Trunks's sword at him like a javelin.

> Trunks caught it with his hands clasping it in a clap.

Trunks: I applauded the throw.

> The point was less than an inch away from his right eye. He then

> turned the sword around, grabbed the handle and charged at the

> speed of light at him.

Yamcha: Can't somebody go at some other speed for a change? Faster than a speeding bullet, quick as a wink, before you can say Jack Robinson, lickity split, SOMETHING?! As slow as Christmas, even!

Gohan: He charged at himself?

> Suddenly, there was a brilliant flash of light and two collisions.

> Trunks crashed into a wall next to a sixth hallway entrance,

> while Kit was in a similar case with the wall of the hall that he

> just came down from.

All four: What?

> What happen?

All four: We don't know.

> Both of then attacked at the same time as strong as they could

> and as fast as they could.

Yamcha: The speed of light, right?

> The blast from both Kit and Trunks was so strong that it sent

> both flying in opposite direction.

Trunks: We both charged the same blast?

Yamcha: And then fired it at yourself.

> Man, thought Trunks, he's stronger than I thought. He'd make a

> great sparring partner if he wasn't so evil.

Gohan: He might kill me in this state!

Yamcha: *Trunks* I'd make a great hero if I wasn't so stupid.

> That was his final thought.

Vegeta: Then he died. The end.

Trunks: Good, I'm dead, let's go home.

> Trunks was now knocked out.

All four: Again.