Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Nevermind ❯ Despair ( Chapter 5 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Shonen Ai. I don't own them, I just do mean things to them. I realise these chapters may seem short (barely three pages) but it's easier for me to seperate into scenes that way. I hope you still enjoy the stuff I put these boys through!

Innocence is Futile.

NEVERMIND
By Raven Pan

V - Despair
Monday, March 15

I really wished Mom would stop coddling me like she did. It wasn't necessary. I was thirty-seven, damnit, thirty-eight in just a few weeks. I should've been able, and allowed, to take care of myself.

I didn't need to eat if I wasn't hungry - and I didn't need to eat if I didn't feel like it. I didn't need to sleep if I didn't want to - and I didn't need anybody to get me anything. I didn't need them to look out for me, Goten - I could look out for myself... practically have my whole life.

I don't need anyone.

Okay, I knew that's a lie, you didn't have to give me that look. Even if you weren't conscious, I felt like you knew what was going on in my head, sometimes even when I didn't know myself. You were still sleeping, you hadn't woken up since that one brief time, four weeks earlier.

Yeah, it was four weeks, to the day, since you'd entered the hospital. Now it was the Ides of March.... I never liked that time of year.

"Damnit, Goten... won't you wake up!?" I could hear the strain of disuse in my voice, it scratched against my throat.

You looked so pale there, so still. Dr. Shimoyama said he finally figured out what you had. Something called Polbow Fever. According to the information Mom got him, it's generally a deadly disease... sometimes it can be passed down several generations before it pops up again.

Kinda like that heart thing your father had, long before you were born. I remembered hearing your father talking with my mom one time about it.

If that was what you'd had, I was sure Mom would have been able to get you a cure right away. As it was, she had almost two dozen labs working on it, as well as herself and Shimoyama.

I remained there, by your side. I didn't want you to wake up alone, I wanted to be there when you beat this again, like you did last fall. You're half human, so it's bound to be different from the original virus... right?

So pale... and even thinner, even with all the nutrients running through the IV... the tube down your throat... steady soft tones of the heart monitor telling me you were still alive. It was all so....

Surreal isn't quite the word I'm looking for, but it'll have to do. Wrong, might be a better term for it.

"Please?"

I wish you could hear my thoughts, you knew I don't like speaking very much if I can't help it. I've always gotten better communication from people by watching their body language... and you knew that.... Sometimes we had entire conversations and I didn't have to say a word.

That's just one of the things I love about you, Chibi - even if you couldn't actually read my mind, reading my body-language was just as good.

But you couldn't watch my movement, the way I felt more comfortable 'speaking' if you didn't wake up. If you don't open your eyes and just....

"Wake up!" I could hear the desperation in my voice, feel the wet on my cheeks as I rested my head on your bedsheet and cried. I don't cry... except for you. If my tears would make you well, I would've cried you an ocean, Chibi.

My hands desperately clasped around your near one, careful of the lines running into you. Some days it felt too hot and almost burned to hold... others it was like ice.

That day I held Ice. I brushed your long bangs off your forehead to look at your face, and it was like I was touching an amazingly lifelike statue....

Stone.

Marble.

Cold.

I got up to bring over the blankets I'd all but threatened Dr. Shimoyama for, and laid them over you, hoping you'd warm up some. I couldn't help but kiss your cheek before I sat down again, clasping your hand in both of mine, trying to give you some warmth.

"C'mon Chibi... please. Just... just open your eyes."

I could feel the sheet getting wet with my tears, and knew that if you were so cold, that wouldn't have helped. I tried to stop crying, but I just couldn't. I sat beside your bed in a chair, my hands clasping yours, my face buried against your shoulder as I cried my heart out. It was too much... I couldn't go through this with you again, you HAD to get better.

"I can't lose you...."

I jerked my head up when I heard the door open, seeing Dr. Shimoyama enter the room. He had his usual tray of drugs for you, all set out with several syringes.

I watched as he set it down on the small table opposite me from you, and began drawing the medicines you were being given. "Do you know how to cure him yet?" I asked in a monotone.

I must give Dr. Shimoyama some credit - he never did try to get me to leave you... nor did he ever mention the tearstains I knew were on my cheeks. "Not yet, but he'll pull through, don't worry."

"Don't worry?" The look I gave him must have been surprising because he actually raised an eyebrow at my outburst. "Don't worry? How can I not worry? Sure he made it through last time, but last time he went into this healthy as anything... this time-" I shook my head with a short sigh. "This time he went into this still frail and weak from just getting over it. He doesn't have the resources, and you have to find a cure for him now!"

Dr. Shimoyama only pulled your doses into the multiple syringes... then one by one introduced them into the IV line. "You know we're working on it, Trunks - no need to shout. Shouting isn't going to change anything. Goten's a strong man, just like you - I have every confidence he'll pull through."

"He hasn't woken up, even for a moment, in weeks."

"He's diverting his energy to more important things... like fighting the sickness."

"You're trying to placate me."

"Yes I am."

"Thanks for being honest about your deceit. Now that that's done, tell me what's really going on." I levelled my gaze on him.

"Well, first off, you're suffering from exhaustion, mental and physical, starvation diet, dehydration, stress and-"

"I meant Goten, Doctor Shimoyama," I growled.

"I know, but you asked what was going on," I swear he smirked.

"Hn."

"You sound like your father."

"I'm not my father, now shut up and tell me what's going on with Goten."

I glared at him when he gave me the amused look again, and he seemed to realise I wasn't fucking around. I could tell, when he got serious. "Alright. We're dealing with a disease that nobody on this planet knows a thing about, except for the small amount of information your mother gave us. The only known case here is Goten, who had previously survived, only to have a relapse. One of two reasons," he continued as he brought syringe after syringe to Goten's IV. "One being that in his weakened state, something he kept close still had some of the virus available for him, in his weakened immune system's state, to re-contract the disease."

"And secondly?"

"Secondly, he never really beat it into the first place, but went into some sort of remission; and thus didn't re-contract the disease, but rather has had a relapse."

"And there's no way to decipher just what has happened?" I asked. When he shook his head, I went on, "If it's a relapse, there's slim chance of curing him, isn't there?"

"I wouldn't say that, Trunks - rather I would say that it would only mean we haven't cured him yet."

"Yet?"

"Yes. 'Yet'. Which implies that I do indeed believe we will find a way to cure him." He cleaned up the needles, throwing the sharps into their specialised container. "If you need me-"

"I know, just call." I nodded to him sharply, then returned my attention unwavering on Goten as the Doctor let us be... just as he had been for so long, now.

Everyone else had stopped visiting. Well, except for Gohan and Goku. I'd all but banned my parents from here, and the others... well they just made it harder. Your mother would cry so hard, and make so many demands, that the Doctor had to show her out, something about impeding your recovery. When Gohan came, he just pulled up a chair on the other side of you, and watched.

Goku would watch too... I never knew, until you'd gotten sick that first time, that your father was even capable of being serious outside a world-in-the-balance fight.

Now I think he's playing the fool for all of us... though I can't figure out why.

I was always thankful that he and Gohan pretty much remained silent when they came to join me in my vigil. Well, silent after encouraging me, the first few times, to take a shower at least. They'd bring food sometimes, but never told me to eat it. So I cleaned up... and nibbled at the food half-heartedly under their watchful eyes.

Very watchful eyes... Goku and Gohan both seemed to have this look, like they knew something was up, but couldn't quite put their fingers on it. I wondered if I should say anything, but decided not to.

"I can't deal with anymore stress, Chibi...." I smoothed your stubborn hair back again, your skin felt so cold. "I need you to let me know it's going to be okay, damnit... I need to see that damnable smile, that stupid optimism that I can't comprehend. I need-"

A long, simple tone sounded from one of the machines, and the spiking lines on your heart monitor had stopped.

"GOTEN!"

TBC - Please Review!!!