Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Onnafied ❯ Why is everything getting worse? ( Chapter 22 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Miyanon 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.28.2006 | Updated On: 01.28.2006 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.1K | Visits: 230 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.28.2006 | Updated On: 01.28.2006 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.1K | Visits: 230 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.
****
Miyanon: Heylo! I'm back again! Did'ja miss me?
Bardock: You know I think it was the story they missed more than you.
Miyanon: Auww...
Bejita: And B&B! Of course you can't forget us!
Miyanon: You two do wonders for the self-esteem.
Bardock: *smiles* Why thank you! It's an angel's job to put down anyone who isn't as holy as we are!
Bejita: ...You're joking, right?
Bardock: Not according to Willith.
Miyanon: Well, anyway! I'm back again! Even if only for a little while, cuz I'm having my mock exams this week! Yay! Hopefully I can get this done before I have my first one.
Bejita: Well good luck with that. Dockers! Let's play poker!
Bardock: Okay.
Miyanon: Hey! What have I said about that?
B&B: To not do it EXCESSIVELY.
Miyanon: And how long have you been doing it?
B&B: Five hours.
Miyanon: Well...okay. *goes back to typing*
Bejita: *whispers to Dockers* Five hours a day. *they both snicker*
Miyanon: *gives them a suspicious look* .......*decides to ignore it* And by the way, this fic IS PG-13, so don't complain about the mentioning of female reproduction organs.
Bardock: *eyes widen* Female- WHAT?! What are you typing up?!
Miyanon: And now, on with Onnafied!
Bardock: *getting hysterical* Hey! HEY! Don't cut-
****
Vegeta waited until dusk to start the ceremony.
He was dressed in ritual saiyajin garb, a ceremonial blue-black robe, nearly covered in dark blue leather fastenings and gold buckles. Three fresh crimson markings of blood were painted on each cheek and his forehead. And it had taken nearly three whole bottles of hair-gel to actually keep his hair down!
As the last royal purple stripe faded into midnight blue in the overhanging heavens, Vegeta sighed and turned to the small, pathetic makeshift alter he had made in a matter of hours. He took out a small instrument from his bed stand and looked through it to the west, determining the exact position of the sun before he could start the ritual.
Now why was he going through the painstaking process of going through the ancient, highly unadvised ceremony in the first place? Simple.
Sex-ed.
Recently he had become painfully aware of the fact that he knew absolutely nothing about saiyajin female bodies. In fact it was only about half an hour after he and Kakarotto had resolved their little “lover's tiff.”
He never had the chance to learn about a saiyajin female's physiology, mainly because he was so young when his planet blew up and Raditsu and Nappa never bothered because all the last remaining saiyajin were men.
When the time came for Kakarot and he to...er...procreate...Vegeta did not want to be caught clueless.
The ouji went completely red to the face at the thought of not knowing where the vagina was... If there was a vagina... His eyes widened. Oh dear Gods, he hoped that humans and saiyajin weren't THAT different! Of course, how could they be?! If they weren't nearly the same there'd be no such thing as a saiyajin hybrid! Right?
Well, that was what he was going to find out!
But how to do it? Well, he couldn't strip Kakarotto, that was for sure. And there was NO WAY he was going to go to that blasted angel for help OR his mother! That left only one possible option.
Vegeta mentally groaned as he thought of what his father's reaction will be to his inquiry. Gods, this was going to suck.
He held out his hands, making slow deliberate motions with them. All right. Slow and easy. Don't rush it. There was a sudden knock at the door and the ouji called out, “Enter!” before he could stop himself.
The door opened with an excited snap, Goku bounding into the room, “Hey Geta, do-” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw her `Geta' standing in the middle of the room in the strangest outfit that she had ever seen, keeping his arms outstretched to a small wooden...thingy at his feet, as if he was directing an orchestra. Plus his hair was...DOWN, which was completely beyond freaky.
The two saiyajin stared at each other in absolute silence, until Goku gingerly stepped back outside and hurried to close the door, almost slamming it.
Vegeta blinked and realized he was still in the middle of his ceremony. Damn! He just couldn't help saying `enter'! After all he felt it was Kakarot's ki by the door. He made a small `ugh' of annoyance and considered what to do about the ceremony. Should he discontinue it and wait for the next night or should he just go with it?
Well, his arms didn't move so it seemed alright to go on. After all a little pause wouldn't make that big a difference.
****
The leaves should be green.
The blossoms should be pink.
The tree bark should be brown.
They were none of these. Instead they were a stark glaring white, mocking the dark eyes that gazed upon them with their insubstantial nothingness. Bardock shivered at the wrongness of the heavenly garden, quickly rushing through them for the sake of getting away from there.
Most of the vegetation in Heaven was normal colored, but that patch of garden was so heavily infested with holiness and angelic magic, that it had affected the entire area, making everything the pristine color that Bardock had come to hate so much. And he knew who's fault it was, too.
Willith was probably to blame for everything white in Heaven. He was just so...obsessed with the damn color! Which just made Bardock even more obsessed with hating it. With a relieved sigh, Bardock got out of the blank area and back onto green grass.
Well, now what to do? He was bored out of his mind. Bejita, using his direct tyrannical, royal authority, had ordered that he take a break from the Kayka scheme as it was clear the angel was going to go insane if he didn't take at least one day off from it.
So...Here he was...in Heaven...bored out of his tiny little mind. When Bardock realized he couldn't remember what he did before this whole incident started, he was grateful that Bejita made him take a break. Didn't he use to be in a band? Whatever happened to that?
The angel sighed and found his favorite cherry tree, still in blossom as it always was. Sitting down against the thin trunk, his senses were stunted slightly by the faint scent of the delicate flowers and warm shade of the thousands of petal wreaths overhanging him, just enough to take away the edge of the harsh glare that the perfectly white Angel HQ was giving off.
But it was still so damn white! He had to squint through the glare of it. Why did the other angels never complain about the brightness?
Hey, come to think of it...Where was everybody? Bardock stood up and touched his tree affectionately before going off to the most populated area of Heaven, the great marble steps of Angel HQ. As he passed them by, he looked around the lush gardens and ponds until he came to the steps of the beautiful centerpiece of Heaven. The entire area was as calm and as empty as a desert, as if the other angels had been whisked away by a mere gentle breeze.
There was...no one else here...
Bardock kept staring from Angel HQ to the empty gardens back to the glaringly empty white walls of the building once more.
Slowly, but surely, an evil, wicked smile came to his lips, so wicked it bent the heavenly aura around him until the very air became demented and sick. He dug his hands into his pockets and began fishing around in them.
“Now the responsible thing for me to do,” he muttered to himself, “would be to figure out where everyone is and why.”
His face lit up when he took out several abnormally large canisters of spray paint from his pockets. Then he snickered in his own twisted fashion, “But I'm not very responsible, now am I?”
About an hour later, he found himself in front of the Angel Council, standing up for trial...again... The plus side was that this time he had a certain companion with him to join him on the bench. AND Angel HQ had a wonderful new mural composed entirely of saiyajin graffiti spanning over all four walls of the formerly white building. Not like any of the angels could understand a lick of saiyago anyway.
Bardock looked behind him, at the collection of grave and stony faces until he spotted a familiar fuzz ball in the group. The dark angel gave the anxious Qu'Pac a quick grin, relieving his friend's stress, before turning his attention back to the trial at hand.
The head Councilwoman in the alliance was looking absolutely livid as she screeched at the Vice Councilman of Heaven until she was blue to the face. “Willith! You were supposed to keep a handle on him!! He was YOUR responsibility! How could you possibly let him get away to vandalize our entire headquarters?!”
Willith, equally infuriated at the very injustice of it all, yelled back, “But it was MY award ceremony! Was I just supposed to skip it to go look for him?!”
Bardock interrupted the verbal battle with a mild, “If I could-”
“NO YOU CANNOT!” the angelic matron screeched even louder, nearly making Bardock cry at the intensity of it. “You're in enough trouble as it is, young man! So, shut it and let me talk to your guardian!”
Most of the councilmen were stunned into a shocked silence, none of them daring to interrupt the Councilwoman's tirade, contenting themselves merely with watching the show in complacency. Bardock, however, frowned upon the Councilwoman's tone, {Why does she talk to me like I'm a teenager?}
But the woman's attention was back to the flustered Vice Councilman. “Willith, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself for not taking care of the suspect. As you are responsible for his actions, you are also going to be punished!”
The shocked expression on Willith's face was almost too much to bear and Bardock had to fight hard not to break into laughter. “As for you, Barudokko,” the Councilwoman said, putting an icy glare on the offending saiyajin, “YOU are going to have to be put into immediate suspension. Maybe some time in the “Special” Center will convert you to true angelhood.”
Suddenly, Bardock didn't find the trial so funny anymore.
****
The ceremony had taken a painful five hours to fulfill with many thousands of delicate procedures and agonizing little details. But FINALLY at the stroke of midnight, Vegeta could feel that his work paid off. He could literally feel it actually, as the divine forces he invoked during the ceremony focused into his small build.
It wasn't at all like anything he felt before, fire and ice running through his veins while his felt his body's molecules deconstruct and reconstruct simultaneously. It felt as though his body had turned into a delicate beehive of energy and that the slightest exertion of force on it would wreak unspeakable havoc on his body.
The thought completely unnerved him. Really, he had no idea what this was supposed to feel like. After all he only saw the ceremony performed twice in his childhood.
With an anxious sigh, the ouji kneeled down in front of his self-made alter and went into a meditative stance, folding his legs into the classic lotus position. Well, he was already this far. Might as well take it all the way.
His borrowed aura began to hum to life as unholy words slipped from his working lips.
****
Meanwhile, down in the depths of HFIL, in Queen Ruby's private quarters of the lofty Saiyajin Hall, Bejita was finally getting a chance at something that had not touched his mouth for nearly four months.
The demon ou's eyes widened as they fell upon the lavish dish before him. He turned to his queen and choked out, “Ruby, I-I don't know what to say.”
His mate smiled knowingly, “Honey, just stop staring and eat it.” Bejita gave a numb nod and looked back to the plate on the ebony table.
It was nearly three feet long with four layers of warm beef, line in a neat ridge across the bread. Slightly melted Swiss cheese glistened between the meat as vapors of the aroma wafted from the dish, causing the ou's mouth to water. And the bread was country white rye with the bottom half soft and ready, the top only just toasted to perfection. Gods, he could even see grilled peppers peeking out from underneath the bread. Grilled peppers! It was almost a sin!
Bejita literally drooled as he stared once again at the concoction in silent awe.
It was the perfect Philadelphia Steak and Cheese Sandwich.
Eventually Ruby had to smack him over the head again, “Bejita!”
The demon came out of it with a start and quickly asked in urgency, “Where- How did you get it?!”
Grinning proudly, the saiyajin queen responded, “I found an earthling who was being punished by eating only Philly steak and cheese sandwiches for the rest of eternity. He was glad to exchange one for some okonomiyaki and sake. Too bad for him it turned into Philly steak and cheese right when he put it in his mouth.”
The ou just stared at here incredulously, “What kind of sick minded person doesn't like Philly steak and cheese?! Especially such an exquisite one such as this?!” he demanded, his arm extending to the `work of art' on the table.
Ruby's eyebrows knit into a frown and she replied a little crossly, “We don't ALL like it, Bejita.”
The ou stared at her blankly.
His mate sighed in exasperation, rolling her eyes. “Just eat it before Lucifer realizes that you're in the same room with it and makes it disappear.”
Bejita saluted her quickly, “Yes ma'am!” before grabbing the sandwich and sinking his teeth into the heavenly food. But then as he was just about to chomp down...He went `poof'. Leaving the sandwich in ruins on the floor as well as his clothes and his demon accessories, the leather wings twitching as the last life flowed out of them without their master by Ruby's feet.
Ruby stared at the disaster in absolute horror, “BEJITA!!” She stomped her foot in fury, her expression turning from terrified to lethal in the blink of an eye, “That is just TYPICAL! I give my mate a sandwich and Lucifer makes my mate disappear!” But why in the world didn't Bejita's demon wings go with him, wherever he was? The enigma befuddled her until she merely gave up and took her mate's things into her closet to keep, until Bejita showed up again.
****
The next morning...
****
Far, far away in a little pink house, on a little tiny island, in the middle of the ocean, momentous events were taking place.
Krillen, Juuhachi, and Master Roshi stared at Trunks with the highest incredulity possible, as he recounted the impossible tale of Bulma's new “cousin.”
More than a bit stupefied, Krillen said slowly, “So...Goku's a girl now...going by the alias Kayka...”
Trunks nodded, “Yup.”
The three adults looked at each other, each wondering if Trunks was actually telling the truth. Juuhachi just shook her head, “I'm not going to even bother,” and headed upstairs to check on her little girl.
Master Roshi slowly stroked his white beard as he looked up in thought, “I have heard stranger things happen...” he muttered mainly to himself.
The former monk didn't bother asking him about what they were and with a sigh, he ran his hand through his hair, “Trunks, did you ask Goku's family about this?”
Trunks nodded his head quickly, glad he wasn't getting kicked out the door for once. “Yup! He hasn't been home for two weeks, which is exactly when Kayka showed up! But when I told them about Kayka, Goten's mom shoved me out the door and called me a bad influence for lying, but I'm not! I heard it from Kay-Goku's mouth her-himself!”
Krillen's eyes naturally narrowed suspiciously, “Are you sure she wasn't pulling your leg?”
In response to the challenge, Trunks huffed indignantly, looking very much like his father, “She didn't even know I was there!”
At that, Krillen had to pause and reflect on it, while Master Roshi, quite expectantly asked, “So...exactly how *ahem* is she anyway?”
His housemate gave an exasperated sigh, while Trunks just looked at the old man in confusion. “What do you-”
“You don't want to know,” Krillen said quickly, hoping to preserve what little innocence Vegeta's son had left. Master Roshi gave a low cackle and decided to head to his official porno/memorabilia room. “You know what, I just don't know what to think,” the once bald monk said to his small houseguest. “It's pretty unbelievable and you do have quite a reputation, Trunks.”
Just as the demi-saiyajin opened his mouth to protest, the doorbell rang and the monk quickly excused himself to go answer the door. Trunks turned to look at the door, and to his horror, his mother was right outside. He shrank into his seat, trying to look as hidden as possible.
Krillen smiled at his friend and said graciously, “Oh hey! Why don't you come in! We haven't seen you for a while!”
The scientist merely smiled, “Oh no, that's alright. I just came to pick up Trunks.” She dug around in her bag and pulled out a large plate covered in tin foil, “Oh! And I made these for you! Some freshly baked cookies! I had just enough time to make them before I came over!”
Krillen's eyes widened slightly in surprise. {I thought that Bulma hated baking! And I know she doesn't like cookies that much either.} “Uh...thank you,” he said weakly, taking the plate from the scientist's hands. “I'm not so fond of them, but I'm sure Marron would love them!”
Bulma absolutely beamed, “What a marvelous idea! You do like to spoil your little girl, don't you?”
This time, Krillen's jaw dropped and he stared at the genius in complete disbelief. Who the heck was this person?! “Trunks, your mother's here.” He was satisfied when Trunks came up to them, an expression of incredulity also very apparent on his face. At least he wasn't the only one.
“Maybe she's been hanging around Grandma, too much,” the demi-saiyajin whispered. The former monk merely nodded, taking in the info without a doubt since it seemed to be the only logical explanation of the scientist's bizarre behavior.
Bulma held out her hand to her son and said, “Well come along, Trunks. You need to study with your tutor.” With a resigned sigh, Trunks trudged up to her and took her hand, following her while she lead him towards the red Capsule Corps jet she had parked on the island.
An idea came to Krillen and he suddenly called out, “Hey Bulma! Is it true that your new cousin is really Goku who transformed into a girl?”
The scientist turned around and with the most cheerful of voices answered, “Why yes, she is!” And with that, she took her shocked son over to the jet to go to the private tutor, leaving a terrible aftermath as Krillen stared at the both of them leaving, looking like his world had just gone mad.
****
The sun rose higher in the sky, breaking the effects of dawn as the heavens grew light blue from purple and pink. On the carpeted floor of his room, a small figure began to stir from his unconscious state, trembling as he tried to wake.
Slowly opening his eyes into narrow slits, a blurry line of vision came to sight. He winced at the intensity of the bright light and rolled over onto his side with a pained groan. His vision gradually got better as the blurs became edges and colors began to distinguish themselves. Staring at his hand, he came to notice something wasn't quite right.
Suddenly, his mind went clear all at once, as a thrill of panic laced through his body. His hand-hands- they were smaller than they were supposed to be!
His eyes traveled all over his body and he began to panic more. This-this body! It was his but it was too small! And what happened to his clothes?!
Looking around his foreign surroundings frantically, he spotted a mirror hanging on the east wall. He bounced to his feet, nearly tripping on the strange clothes as he went face to face with his reflection.
A scream ensued. With a loud `thud' he fell back onto the floor as he tripped over the hem of the robe. His goatee! His face! {What the hell happened to me?!} the demon ou thought in panic. It was only after another quick glance at the mirror did he realize what was going on.
He was in his son's body.
...He was in Vegeta's body?!
All too suddenly, the door behind him snapped open, and the ou spun around, taking an offensive fighting stance for his next big surprise.
A young female saiyajin stared at him from the doorway. It was Kakarotto! Bejita realized in shock, quickly dropping his stance. {Wow, she's really beautiful in person...} he thought to himself in wonder.
Goku continued to stare at him, before saying weakly, “Um...I heard a thud from downstairs. I thought you might have gotten yourself into trouble.”
{You don't know the half of it,} the demon ou mentally groaned, though he pulled up a grin and declared, “Nope! I'm perfectly fine! I just tripped on this...uh...robe! That's all! No biggie!”
The younger saiyajin couldn't help but smile at the ouji's nervousness. It was cute seeing him all flustered like this! “Well, all right,” she said, accepting the lie. “Keep having fun with your game!” she said cheerfully, flashing him a bright smile.
For all reasons unknown to him, Bejita blushed. He blushed until he was as red as the vegetable that made his nickname. And he felt something... strange stir in the bottom of his heart. But before he could make sense of it, Kakarot had already left the room.
He shook off the awkward thoughts and calmly decided to assess the situation.
He's on Earth.
He's in his son's body.
He has no idea how he got there.
Okay! So long as that was down! Could he have possibly possessed his son by accident then? It didn't really feel like it. Then again, this body was much more compatible to him, than the human female's was.
So, if he really possessed his son's body, he should be able to talk to him.
{Vegeta,} he called out mentally. {Son! Are you there?!} Relief washed over him when he heard a small buzzing moan at the back of his mind.
~Papa?~ the ouji said weakly when he recognized the voice. ~...FATHER?!~
{Uh...hi?} Bejita thought weakly, wondering how he was ever going to explain this to his son.
That was until Vegeta suddenly cheered, ~All right! It worked!~
{Worked?} the ou thought in confusion. {What do you mean worked? What worked?}
~The ceremony I used so that I could talk to you,~ Vegeta stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Bejita stayed silent for a long time, the only sound between them being the buzz of the communication link. {...You are aware that I am now in possession of your body, right?}
Vegeta also went silent for a while, before saying in a flat tone, ~What?~
His father outwardly sighed and decided a demonstration was in order. {Hang on, I'll put you to visual.} Vegeta felt his mind fuzz as the demon ou was doing god-knows-what to it.
Surely his father had to be joking about this- possession thing! The ceremony was only meant to talk to his ancestor/father, not share his body with him! What had gone wrong?!
{Here we go,} his father said suddenly and Vegeta found himself sitting back in his room. Vegeta let go a mental sigh of relief. So his father was joking. Either that or he had one very whacked up hallucination.
He stood up and walked to the closet for a change of clothes. There was one slight problem though.
He wasn't the one doing it.
Vegeta screamed a scream that never reached his body's lips. ~What is this?! How can it-~
{I'm doing it, son,} Bejita said, as he opened the closet door and began examining the clothes inside of it. {You need a bigger wardrobe.}
~Father! I don't care about my clothes! I want you out of my body right now!~ The surrealism of being in a body doing things on its own, was too much for him. His mind felt numb as he tried to get used to the independent body's actions.
{Ehehe...Funny thing that...} Bejita thought weakly. {Um...I can't really get out...}
~WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET OUT?!~ Vegeta screeched bringing the buzz between them into a painful high-pitched squeal.
Bejita winced at the noise and he replied indignantly, {You didn't let me finish! I just need Bardock's help to get out, and I'm really not too eager after what happened last time.}
Vegeta thought in confusion, ~Last time? What last time?~
After a sigh...{I accidentally possessed your imposter mate and Bardock used Holy Water to get me out. Problem was I turned temporarily insane and your imposter mate is now saintly...for life.}
The ouji mentally paled at the thought, remembering how odd Bulma was acting for the past couple of days and imagining himself as an angel with wings and a halo. He would have shivered if he still carried any physical embodiment of himself.
Bejita smiled grimly and picked out a couple clothes from the closet, tossing them onto the bed. His son demanded in a slightly anxious tone, ~What exactly are you doing?~
{I'm going to enjoy myself!} Bejita said simply. {It's YOUR fault I'm stuck in your body, so until either you or Bardock figures out how to get me out, I'm going to bloody do what I want.}
He had picked out a simple pair of jeans and a black muscle shirt and grabbed some sock and underwear from the top drawer of Vegeta's dresser.
~You sure know your way around my room...~ Vegeta thought suspicious at the lack of time his father spent on looking for things. ~And you know what all these human garb are for too.~
{I tend to pick up things, watching you all the time,} Bejita thought, enjoying the shocked buzz he felt from his son. He quickly ruffled his current hair so that it went from its limp gelled state back to its normal proud flame.
{At least this body's more compatible than the other one,} Bejita thought at his son, making light conversation as he changed. {The center of gravity is more like what I'm used to, even if the body's a bit short.}
Vegeta burned with embarrassment, ~Stop talking about my body like it's- it's a space cruiser of something!~
{Sorry,} Bejita said, not really sounding sorry at all. {Well, now thanks to you, I had just missed the perfect Philly steak and cheese sandwich, so don't be surprised if I'm a little P.O.ed.}
~Why don't you just go to Philadelphia?~ his son quipped sarcastically. He immediately realized that was a bad idea.
{Ph-Philadelphia?! The haven of all Philly steak and cheese sandwiches in the universe?! That's here?! On THIS planet?!} his father said in excitement. Before Vegeta even said anything, the ou cheered, “I'm going to Philadelphia!!” He ran out into the hall and nearly trampled over Mirai who was heading down to the kitchen to have brunch.
“Hey! Hey, Dad! Where are you going in a rush?!” the teenager yelled, thinking that there was some emergency at hand.
“Philadelphia!” his `father' half-yelled, half-cheered, before heading down the stairs and out the door. It was Vegeta's internal screeching that kept him from flying off into the sky.
~Father! You don't even know where Philadelphia is! Calm down!~ With a heated pout, Bejita just barely stopped himself from heading into the sky. ~At least tell Kayka where we're going! You know I'm still in the middle of my plan to get her!~
At that, Bejita began to feel uncomfortable with the idea, {Son, I don't think it's such a good idea that I talk to her...}
~You better or else I won't tell you how to get to Philadelphia!~
The ou swayed slightly, as he tried to think of a way out of it. True, he should tell her where they were going out of politeness, but the episode only minutes ago made him uneasy. Then again his visit to Philadelphia was at stake! {Fine,} Bejita muttered, though he knew it was a bad idea.
He went back inside to look for the younger saiyajin, scanning around the large building hoping to get his over with quickly. ~She's probably in the kitchen.~ Bejita nodded and headed over in that direction, smelling the scent of food coming from the room.
Oh Gods...Bejita's stomach was getting the better of him as it made him walk more quickly to the kitchen. Even if this body only had food the day before, Bejita hasn't had it for months already. He inhaled the delicious scent and rolled it off of his tongue, appreciating it to its full extent. {Maybe I should grab something to eat before I go anyway.} Vegeta just made an exasperated sigh, while he reviewed the possible errors he made during the ceremony.
Bejita drifted into the kitchen, drawn by the delicious smell of food. But only a second later, it was completely forgotten, as he saw the room's sole occupant. Something akin to an electric shock ran through him as he saw the back of an orange and blue gied woman at the stove making scrambled eggs.
Meanwhile Vegeta had the strangest feeling of déjà vu.
Goku turned and smiled at the possessed ouji, giving him a “Hey Veggie, good to see you out of your room.” Bejita stared at her, red to the face, all thoughts of food and Philadelphia out his mind, just admiring how beautiful she looked. Goku frowned and asked, “Um...can I help you with something?” a tinge of uneasiness in her voice, seeing the way the ouji was staring at her.
Suddenly Vegeta realized where the déjà vu was from. ~HOLY CRAP!~
Bejita ignored his son's mental outburst and smirked, the blush receding from his face as he edged towards his prey. “I think I can help myself,” he said in a sly tone, his hand reaching for her. Goku held her breath, only for the hand to go past her and grab the plate of eggs on the counter next to her, taking them to the kitchen table to eat.
Goku sighed, giving Bejita a slightly suspicious look, before going back to making eggs for herself and Mirai.
But the ou continued to stare at her, absentmindedly eating his food and considering other appetites.
{Gods, how could I not see how beautiful she was before?} he thought to himself, though his horrified son could hear every word. {Have I been so blind? What have I been doing, messing around with Ruby this whole time?}
~Father, what are you saying?!~ Vegeta screeched, feeling his world quickly falling apart. This couldn't be happening to him! His father and mother were soulmates! He couldn't just break up with her and then take HIS soulmate!
Once again, he was ignored. {Truly Kakarotto is a mate fit for a king. And seeing as I am one...}
~Father, no, you can't!~ Vegeta suddenly felt the communication between them cut off, leaving him only with his vision and hearing of the outside world. ~By all the Gods, what is going on here?!~
Then, it hit him like a silver bullet. ~I said `enter'!! Oh Gods! That's what I did wrong! I said ENTER! And it was right at Yinae Thak'rov, too! To be in my shoes. He's in my shoes! He's in my shoes exactly!!~
What was he going to do?! Obviously his father was affected by the soulmating that was in both of them and it twisted his perception of Kakarotto completely! And he was going to go after her...
Despair and helplessness welled up in the ouji's heart, making him absolutely infuriated at his situation. ~And I don't even have control of my own body!~ He couldn't stop this madness.
He couldn't do anything...
For the first time in a very long time, Vegeta began to feel truly afraid.
****
End of Chapter 22
B&B: ............
Miyanon: *grins* I like it!
B&B: ...................................
Bejita: You have made me insane, yet again.
Miyanon: Yup.
Bardock: You're getting me sent to the “Special” Center.
Miyanon: Yup.
Bejita: You DO realize that this changes things between us, right?
Miyanon: *laughs* Oh come on guys! It'll all work out in the end! It's the very definition of a romantic comedy!
Bardock: But I never see romantic comedies!
Miyanon: But you're in one.
Bardock: ...Yeah, that's true, I suppose.
Bejita: I just want a guarantee that everything goes back to the way it was!
Miyanon: Well...I can't really promise that...
B&B: WHAT?!
Miyanon: *quickly* Well that was the end of this chapter of Onnafied! I hope that you enjoyed it! Bye! *runs off before B&B can get a hold of her*
****
****
Miyanon: Heylo! I'm back again! Did'ja miss me?
Bardock: You know I think it was the story they missed more than you.
Miyanon: Auww...
Bejita: And B&B! Of course you can't forget us!
Miyanon: You two do wonders for the self-esteem.
Bardock: *smiles* Why thank you! It's an angel's job to put down anyone who isn't as holy as we are!
Bejita: ...You're joking, right?
Bardock: Not according to Willith.
Miyanon: Well, anyway! I'm back again! Even if only for a little while, cuz I'm having my mock exams this week! Yay! Hopefully I can get this done before I have my first one.
Bejita: Well good luck with that. Dockers! Let's play poker!
Bardock: Okay.
Miyanon: Hey! What have I said about that?
B&B: To not do it EXCESSIVELY.
Miyanon: And how long have you been doing it?
B&B: Five hours.
Miyanon: Well...okay. *goes back to typing*
Bejita: *whispers to Dockers* Five hours a day. *they both snicker*
Miyanon: *gives them a suspicious look* .......*decides to ignore it* And by the way, this fic IS PG-13, so don't complain about the mentioning of female reproduction organs.
Bardock: *eyes widen* Female- WHAT?! What are you typing up?!
Miyanon: And now, on with Onnafied!
Bardock: *getting hysterical* Hey! HEY! Don't cut-
****
Vegeta waited until dusk to start the ceremony.
He was dressed in ritual saiyajin garb, a ceremonial blue-black robe, nearly covered in dark blue leather fastenings and gold buckles. Three fresh crimson markings of blood were painted on each cheek and his forehead. And it had taken nearly three whole bottles of hair-gel to actually keep his hair down!
As the last royal purple stripe faded into midnight blue in the overhanging heavens, Vegeta sighed and turned to the small, pathetic makeshift alter he had made in a matter of hours. He took out a small instrument from his bed stand and looked through it to the west, determining the exact position of the sun before he could start the ritual.
Now why was he going through the painstaking process of going through the ancient, highly unadvised ceremony in the first place? Simple.
Sex-ed.
Recently he had become painfully aware of the fact that he knew absolutely nothing about saiyajin female bodies. In fact it was only about half an hour after he and Kakarotto had resolved their little “lover's tiff.”
He never had the chance to learn about a saiyajin female's physiology, mainly because he was so young when his planet blew up and Raditsu and Nappa never bothered because all the last remaining saiyajin were men.
When the time came for Kakarot and he to...er...procreate...Vegeta did not want to be caught clueless.
The ouji went completely red to the face at the thought of not knowing where the vagina was... If there was a vagina... His eyes widened. Oh dear Gods, he hoped that humans and saiyajin weren't THAT different! Of course, how could they be?! If they weren't nearly the same there'd be no such thing as a saiyajin hybrid! Right?
Well, that was what he was going to find out!
But how to do it? Well, he couldn't strip Kakarotto, that was for sure. And there was NO WAY he was going to go to that blasted angel for help OR his mother! That left only one possible option.
Vegeta mentally groaned as he thought of what his father's reaction will be to his inquiry. Gods, this was going to suck.
He held out his hands, making slow deliberate motions with them. All right. Slow and easy. Don't rush it. There was a sudden knock at the door and the ouji called out, “Enter!” before he could stop himself.
The door opened with an excited snap, Goku bounding into the room, “Hey Geta, do-” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw her `Geta' standing in the middle of the room in the strangest outfit that she had ever seen, keeping his arms outstretched to a small wooden...thingy at his feet, as if he was directing an orchestra. Plus his hair was...DOWN, which was completely beyond freaky.
The two saiyajin stared at each other in absolute silence, until Goku gingerly stepped back outside and hurried to close the door, almost slamming it.
Vegeta blinked and realized he was still in the middle of his ceremony. Damn! He just couldn't help saying `enter'! After all he felt it was Kakarot's ki by the door. He made a small `ugh' of annoyance and considered what to do about the ceremony. Should he discontinue it and wait for the next night or should he just go with it?
Well, his arms didn't move so it seemed alright to go on. After all a little pause wouldn't make that big a difference.
****
The leaves should be green.
The blossoms should be pink.
The tree bark should be brown.
They were none of these. Instead they were a stark glaring white, mocking the dark eyes that gazed upon them with their insubstantial nothingness. Bardock shivered at the wrongness of the heavenly garden, quickly rushing through them for the sake of getting away from there.
Most of the vegetation in Heaven was normal colored, but that patch of garden was so heavily infested with holiness and angelic magic, that it had affected the entire area, making everything the pristine color that Bardock had come to hate so much. And he knew who's fault it was, too.
Willith was probably to blame for everything white in Heaven. He was just so...obsessed with the damn color! Which just made Bardock even more obsessed with hating it. With a relieved sigh, Bardock got out of the blank area and back onto green grass.
Well, now what to do? He was bored out of his mind. Bejita, using his direct tyrannical, royal authority, had ordered that he take a break from the Kayka scheme as it was clear the angel was going to go insane if he didn't take at least one day off from it.
So...Here he was...in Heaven...bored out of his tiny little mind. When Bardock realized he couldn't remember what he did before this whole incident started, he was grateful that Bejita made him take a break. Didn't he use to be in a band? Whatever happened to that?
The angel sighed and found his favorite cherry tree, still in blossom as it always was. Sitting down against the thin trunk, his senses were stunted slightly by the faint scent of the delicate flowers and warm shade of the thousands of petal wreaths overhanging him, just enough to take away the edge of the harsh glare that the perfectly white Angel HQ was giving off.
But it was still so damn white! He had to squint through the glare of it. Why did the other angels never complain about the brightness?
Hey, come to think of it...Where was everybody? Bardock stood up and touched his tree affectionately before going off to the most populated area of Heaven, the great marble steps of Angel HQ. As he passed them by, he looked around the lush gardens and ponds until he came to the steps of the beautiful centerpiece of Heaven. The entire area was as calm and as empty as a desert, as if the other angels had been whisked away by a mere gentle breeze.
There was...no one else here...
Bardock kept staring from Angel HQ to the empty gardens back to the glaringly empty white walls of the building once more.
Slowly, but surely, an evil, wicked smile came to his lips, so wicked it bent the heavenly aura around him until the very air became demented and sick. He dug his hands into his pockets and began fishing around in them.
“Now the responsible thing for me to do,” he muttered to himself, “would be to figure out where everyone is and why.”
His face lit up when he took out several abnormally large canisters of spray paint from his pockets. Then he snickered in his own twisted fashion, “But I'm not very responsible, now am I?”
About an hour later, he found himself in front of the Angel Council, standing up for trial...again... The plus side was that this time he had a certain companion with him to join him on the bench. AND Angel HQ had a wonderful new mural composed entirely of saiyajin graffiti spanning over all four walls of the formerly white building. Not like any of the angels could understand a lick of saiyago anyway.
Bardock looked behind him, at the collection of grave and stony faces until he spotted a familiar fuzz ball in the group. The dark angel gave the anxious Qu'Pac a quick grin, relieving his friend's stress, before turning his attention back to the trial at hand.
The head Councilwoman in the alliance was looking absolutely livid as she screeched at the Vice Councilman of Heaven until she was blue to the face. “Willith! You were supposed to keep a handle on him!! He was YOUR responsibility! How could you possibly let him get away to vandalize our entire headquarters?!”
Willith, equally infuriated at the very injustice of it all, yelled back, “But it was MY award ceremony! Was I just supposed to skip it to go look for him?!”
Bardock interrupted the verbal battle with a mild, “If I could-”
“NO YOU CANNOT!” the angelic matron screeched even louder, nearly making Bardock cry at the intensity of it. “You're in enough trouble as it is, young man! So, shut it and let me talk to your guardian!”
Most of the councilmen were stunned into a shocked silence, none of them daring to interrupt the Councilwoman's tirade, contenting themselves merely with watching the show in complacency. Bardock, however, frowned upon the Councilwoman's tone, {Why does she talk to me like I'm a teenager?}
But the woman's attention was back to the flustered Vice Councilman. “Willith, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself for not taking care of the suspect. As you are responsible for his actions, you are also going to be punished!”
The shocked expression on Willith's face was almost too much to bear and Bardock had to fight hard not to break into laughter. “As for you, Barudokko,” the Councilwoman said, putting an icy glare on the offending saiyajin, “YOU are going to have to be put into immediate suspension. Maybe some time in the “Special” Center will convert you to true angelhood.”
Suddenly, Bardock didn't find the trial so funny anymore.
****
The ceremony had taken a painful five hours to fulfill with many thousands of delicate procedures and agonizing little details. But FINALLY at the stroke of midnight, Vegeta could feel that his work paid off. He could literally feel it actually, as the divine forces he invoked during the ceremony focused into his small build.
It wasn't at all like anything he felt before, fire and ice running through his veins while his felt his body's molecules deconstruct and reconstruct simultaneously. It felt as though his body had turned into a delicate beehive of energy and that the slightest exertion of force on it would wreak unspeakable havoc on his body.
The thought completely unnerved him. Really, he had no idea what this was supposed to feel like. After all he only saw the ceremony performed twice in his childhood.
With an anxious sigh, the ouji kneeled down in front of his self-made alter and went into a meditative stance, folding his legs into the classic lotus position. Well, he was already this far. Might as well take it all the way.
His borrowed aura began to hum to life as unholy words slipped from his working lips.
****
Meanwhile, down in the depths of HFIL, in Queen Ruby's private quarters of the lofty Saiyajin Hall, Bejita was finally getting a chance at something that had not touched his mouth for nearly four months.
The demon ou's eyes widened as they fell upon the lavish dish before him. He turned to his queen and choked out, “Ruby, I-I don't know what to say.”
His mate smiled knowingly, “Honey, just stop staring and eat it.” Bejita gave a numb nod and looked back to the plate on the ebony table.
It was nearly three feet long with four layers of warm beef, line in a neat ridge across the bread. Slightly melted Swiss cheese glistened between the meat as vapors of the aroma wafted from the dish, causing the ou's mouth to water. And the bread was country white rye with the bottom half soft and ready, the top only just toasted to perfection. Gods, he could even see grilled peppers peeking out from underneath the bread. Grilled peppers! It was almost a sin!
Bejita literally drooled as he stared once again at the concoction in silent awe.
It was the perfect Philadelphia Steak and Cheese Sandwich.
Eventually Ruby had to smack him over the head again, “Bejita!”
The demon came out of it with a start and quickly asked in urgency, “Where- How did you get it?!”
Grinning proudly, the saiyajin queen responded, “I found an earthling who was being punished by eating only Philly steak and cheese sandwiches for the rest of eternity. He was glad to exchange one for some okonomiyaki and sake. Too bad for him it turned into Philly steak and cheese right when he put it in his mouth.”
The ou just stared at here incredulously, “What kind of sick minded person doesn't like Philly steak and cheese?! Especially such an exquisite one such as this?!” he demanded, his arm extending to the `work of art' on the table.
Ruby's eyebrows knit into a frown and she replied a little crossly, “We don't ALL like it, Bejita.”
The ou stared at her blankly.
His mate sighed in exasperation, rolling her eyes. “Just eat it before Lucifer realizes that you're in the same room with it and makes it disappear.”
Bejita saluted her quickly, “Yes ma'am!” before grabbing the sandwich and sinking his teeth into the heavenly food. But then as he was just about to chomp down...He went `poof'. Leaving the sandwich in ruins on the floor as well as his clothes and his demon accessories, the leather wings twitching as the last life flowed out of them without their master by Ruby's feet.
Ruby stared at the disaster in absolute horror, “BEJITA!!” She stomped her foot in fury, her expression turning from terrified to lethal in the blink of an eye, “That is just TYPICAL! I give my mate a sandwich and Lucifer makes my mate disappear!” But why in the world didn't Bejita's demon wings go with him, wherever he was? The enigma befuddled her until she merely gave up and took her mate's things into her closet to keep, until Bejita showed up again.
****
The next morning...
****
Far, far away in a little pink house, on a little tiny island, in the middle of the ocean, momentous events were taking place.
Krillen, Juuhachi, and Master Roshi stared at Trunks with the highest incredulity possible, as he recounted the impossible tale of Bulma's new “cousin.”
More than a bit stupefied, Krillen said slowly, “So...Goku's a girl now...going by the alias Kayka...”
Trunks nodded, “Yup.”
The three adults looked at each other, each wondering if Trunks was actually telling the truth. Juuhachi just shook her head, “I'm not going to even bother,” and headed upstairs to check on her little girl.
Master Roshi slowly stroked his white beard as he looked up in thought, “I have heard stranger things happen...” he muttered mainly to himself.
The former monk didn't bother asking him about what they were and with a sigh, he ran his hand through his hair, “Trunks, did you ask Goku's family about this?”
Trunks nodded his head quickly, glad he wasn't getting kicked out the door for once. “Yup! He hasn't been home for two weeks, which is exactly when Kayka showed up! But when I told them about Kayka, Goten's mom shoved me out the door and called me a bad influence for lying, but I'm not! I heard it from Kay-Goku's mouth her-himself!”
Krillen's eyes naturally narrowed suspiciously, “Are you sure she wasn't pulling your leg?”
In response to the challenge, Trunks huffed indignantly, looking very much like his father, “She didn't even know I was there!”
At that, Krillen had to pause and reflect on it, while Master Roshi, quite expectantly asked, “So...exactly how *ahem* is she anyway?”
His housemate gave an exasperated sigh, while Trunks just looked at the old man in confusion. “What do you-”
“You don't want to know,” Krillen said quickly, hoping to preserve what little innocence Vegeta's son had left. Master Roshi gave a low cackle and decided to head to his official porno/memorabilia room. “You know what, I just don't know what to think,” the once bald monk said to his small houseguest. “It's pretty unbelievable and you do have quite a reputation, Trunks.”
Just as the demi-saiyajin opened his mouth to protest, the doorbell rang and the monk quickly excused himself to go answer the door. Trunks turned to look at the door, and to his horror, his mother was right outside. He shrank into his seat, trying to look as hidden as possible.
Krillen smiled at his friend and said graciously, “Oh hey! Why don't you come in! We haven't seen you for a while!”
The scientist merely smiled, “Oh no, that's alright. I just came to pick up Trunks.” She dug around in her bag and pulled out a large plate covered in tin foil, “Oh! And I made these for you! Some freshly baked cookies! I had just enough time to make them before I came over!”
Krillen's eyes widened slightly in surprise. {I thought that Bulma hated baking! And I know she doesn't like cookies that much either.} “Uh...thank you,” he said weakly, taking the plate from the scientist's hands. “I'm not so fond of them, but I'm sure Marron would love them!”
Bulma absolutely beamed, “What a marvelous idea! You do like to spoil your little girl, don't you?”
This time, Krillen's jaw dropped and he stared at the genius in complete disbelief. Who the heck was this person?! “Trunks, your mother's here.” He was satisfied when Trunks came up to them, an expression of incredulity also very apparent on his face. At least he wasn't the only one.
“Maybe she's been hanging around Grandma, too much,” the demi-saiyajin whispered. The former monk merely nodded, taking in the info without a doubt since it seemed to be the only logical explanation of the scientist's bizarre behavior.
Bulma held out her hand to her son and said, “Well come along, Trunks. You need to study with your tutor.” With a resigned sigh, Trunks trudged up to her and took her hand, following her while she lead him towards the red Capsule Corps jet she had parked on the island.
An idea came to Krillen and he suddenly called out, “Hey Bulma! Is it true that your new cousin is really Goku who transformed into a girl?”
The scientist turned around and with the most cheerful of voices answered, “Why yes, she is!” And with that, she took her shocked son over to the jet to go to the private tutor, leaving a terrible aftermath as Krillen stared at the both of them leaving, looking like his world had just gone mad.
****
The sun rose higher in the sky, breaking the effects of dawn as the heavens grew light blue from purple and pink. On the carpeted floor of his room, a small figure began to stir from his unconscious state, trembling as he tried to wake.
Slowly opening his eyes into narrow slits, a blurry line of vision came to sight. He winced at the intensity of the bright light and rolled over onto his side with a pained groan. His vision gradually got better as the blurs became edges and colors began to distinguish themselves. Staring at his hand, he came to notice something wasn't quite right.
Suddenly, his mind went clear all at once, as a thrill of panic laced through his body. His hand-hands- they were smaller than they were supposed to be!
His eyes traveled all over his body and he began to panic more. This-this body! It was his but it was too small! And what happened to his clothes?!
Looking around his foreign surroundings frantically, he spotted a mirror hanging on the east wall. He bounced to his feet, nearly tripping on the strange clothes as he went face to face with his reflection.
A scream ensued. With a loud `thud' he fell back onto the floor as he tripped over the hem of the robe. His goatee! His face! {What the hell happened to me?!} the demon ou thought in panic. It was only after another quick glance at the mirror did he realize what was going on.
He was in his son's body.
...He was in Vegeta's body?!
All too suddenly, the door behind him snapped open, and the ou spun around, taking an offensive fighting stance for his next big surprise.
A young female saiyajin stared at him from the doorway. It was Kakarotto! Bejita realized in shock, quickly dropping his stance. {Wow, she's really beautiful in person...} he thought to himself in wonder.
Goku continued to stare at him, before saying weakly, “Um...I heard a thud from downstairs. I thought you might have gotten yourself into trouble.”
{You don't know the half of it,} the demon ou mentally groaned, though he pulled up a grin and declared, “Nope! I'm perfectly fine! I just tripped on this...uh...robe! That's all! No biggie!”
The younger saiyajin couldn't help but smile at the ouji's nervousness. It was cute seeing him all flustered like this! “Well, all right,” she said, accepting the lie. “Keep having fun with your game!” she said cheerfully, flashing him a bright smile.
For all reasons unknown to him, Bejita blushed. He blushed until he was as red as the vegetable that made his nickname. And he felt something... strange stir in the bottom of his heart. But before he could make sense of it, Kakarot had already left the room.
He shook off the awkward thoughts and calmly decided to assess the situation.
He's on Earth.
He's in his son's body.
He has no idea how he got there.
Okay! So long as that was down! Could he have possibly possessed his son by accident then? It didn't really feel like it. Then again, this body was much more compatible to him, than the human female's was.
So, if he really possessed his son's body, he should be able to talk to him.
{Vegeta,} he called out mentally. {Son! Are you there?!} Relief washed over him when he heard a small buzzing moan at the back of his mind.
~Papa?~ the ouji said weakly when he recognized the voice. ~...FATHER?!~
{Uh...hi?} Bejita thought weakly, wondering how he was ever going to explain this to his son.
That was until Vegeta suddenly cheered, ~All right! It worked!~
{Worked?} the ou thought in confusion. {What do you mean worked? What worked?}
~The ceremony I used so that I could talk to you,~ Vegeta stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Bejita stayed silent for a long time, the only sound between them being the buzz of the communication link. {...You are aware that I am now in possession of your body, right?}
Vegeta also went silent for a while, before saying in a flat tone, ~What?~
His father outwardly sighed and decided a demonstration was in order. {Hang on, I'll put you to visual.} Vegeta felt his mind fuzz as the demon ou was doing god-knows-what to it.
Surely his father had to be joking about this- possession thing! The ceremony was only meant to talk to his ancestor/father, not share his body with him! What had gone wrong?!
{Here we go,} his father said suddenly and Vegeta found himself sitting back in his room. Vegeta let go a mental sigh of relief. So his father was joking. Either that or he had one very whacked up hallucination.
He stood up and walked to the closet for a change of clothes. There was one slight problem though.
He wasn't the one doing it.
Vegeta screamed a scream that never reached his body's lips. ~What is this?! How can it-~
{I'm doing it, son,} Bejita said, as he opened the closet door and began examining the clothes inside of it. {You need a bigger wardrobe.}
~Father! I don't care about my clothes! I want you out of my body right now!~ The surrealism of being in a body doing things on its own, was too much for him. His mind felt numb as he tried to get used to the independent body's actions.
{Ehehe...Funny thing that...} Bejita thought weakly. {Um...I can't really get out...}
~WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET OUT?!~ Vegeta screeched bringing the buzz between them into a painful high-pitched squeal.
Bejita winced at the noise and he replied indignantly, {You didn't let me finish! I just need Bardock's help to get out, and I'm really not too eager after what happened last time.}
Vegeta thought in confusion, ~Last time? What last time?~
After a sigh...{I accidentally possessed your imposter mate and Bardock used Holy Water to get me out. Problem was I turned temporarily insane and your imposter mate is now saintly...for life.}
The ouji mentally paled at the thought, remembering how odd Bulma was acting for the past couple of days and imagining himself as an angel with wings and a halo. He would have shivered if he still carried any physical embodiment of himself.
Bejita smiled grimly and picked out a couple clothes from the closet, tossing them onto the bed. His son demanded in a slightly anxious tone, ~What exactly are you doing?~
{I'm going to enjoy myself!} Bejita said simply. {It's YOUR fault I'm stuck in your body, so until either you or Bardock figures out how to get me out, I'm going to bloody do what I want.}
He had picked out a simple pair of jeans and a black muscle shirt and grabbed some sock and underwear from the top drawer of Vegeta's dresser.
~You sure know your way around my room...~ Vegeta thought suspicious at the lack of time his father spent on looking for things. ~And you know what all these human garb are for too.~
{I tend to pick up things, watching you all the time,} Bejita thought, enjoying the shocked buzz he felt from his son. He quickly ruffled his current hair so that it went from its limp gelled state back to its normal proud flame.
{At least this body's more compatible than the other one,} Bejita thought at his son, making light conversation as he changed. {The center of gravity is more like what I'm used to, even if the body's a bit short.}
Vegeta burned with embarrassment, ~Stop talking about my body like it's- it's a space cruiser of something!~
{Sorry,} Bejita said, not really sounding sorry at all. {Well, now thanks to you, I had just missed the perfect Philly steak and cheese sandwich, so don't be surprised if I'm a little P.O.ed.}
~Why don't you just go to Philadelphia?~ his son quipped sarcastically. He immediately realized that was a bad idea.
{Ph-Philadelphia?! The haven of all Philly steak and cheese sandwiches in the universe?! That's here?! On THIS planet?!} his father said in excitement. Before Vegeta even said anything, the ou cheered, “I'm going to Philadelphia!!” He ran out into the hall and nearly trampled over Mirai who was heading down to the kitchen to have brunch.
“Hey! Hey, Dad! Where are you going in a rush?!” the teenager yelled, thinking that there was some emergency at hand.
“Philadelphia!” his `father' half-yelled, half-cheered, before heading down the stairs and out the door. It was Vegeta's internal screeching that kept him from flying off into the sky.
~Father! You don't even know where Philadelphia is! Calm down!~ With a heated pout, Bejita just barely stopped himself from heading into the sky. ~At least tell Kayka where we're going! You know I'm still in the middle of my plan to get her!~
At that, Bejita began to feel uncomfortable with the idea, {Son, I don't think it's such a good idea that I talk to her...}
~You better or else I won't tell you how to get to Philadelphia!~
The ou swayed slightly, as he tried to think of a way out of it. True, he should tell her where they were going out of politeness, but the episode only minutes ago made him uneasy. Then again his visit to Philadelphia was at stake! {Fine,} Bejita muttered, though he knew it was a bad idea.
He went back inside to look for the younger saiyajin, scanning around the large building hoping to get his over with quickly. ~She's probably in the kitchen.~ Bejita nodded and headed over in that direction, smelling the scent of food coming from the room.
Oh Gods...Bejita's stomach was getting the better of him as it made him walk more quickly to the kitchen. Even if this body only had food the day before, Bejita hasn't had it for months already. He inhaled the delicious scent and rolled it off of his tongue, appreciating it to its full extent. {Maybe I should grab something to eat before I go anyway.} Vegeta just made an exasperated sigh, while he reviewed the possible errors he made during the ceremony.
Bejita drifted into the kitchen, drawn by the delicious smell of food. But only a second later, it was completely forgotten, as he saw the room's sole occupant. Something akin to an electric shock ran through him as he saw the back of an orange and blue gied woman at the stove making scrambled eggs.
Meanwhile Vegeta had the strangest feeling of déjà vu.
Goku turned and smiled at the possessed ouji, giving him a “Hey Veggie, good to see you out of your room.” Bejita stared at her, red to the face, all thoughts of food and Philadelphia out his mind, just admiring how beautiful she looked. Goku frowned and asked, “Um...can I help you with something?” a tinge of uneasiness in her voice, seeing the way the ouji was staring at her.
Suddenly Vegeta realized where the déjà vu was from. ~HOLY CRAP!~
Bejita ignored his son's mental outburst and smirked, the blush receding from his face as he edged towards his prey. “I think I can help myself,” he said in a sly tone, his hand reaching for her. Goku held her breath, only for the hand to go past her and grab the plate of eggs on the counter next to her, taking them to the kitchen table to eat.
Goku sighed, giving Bejita a slightly suspicious look, before going back to making eggs for herself and Mirai.
But the ou continued to stare at her, absentmindedly eating his food and considering other appetites.
{Gods, how could I not see how beautiful she was before?} he thought to himself, though his horrified son could hear every word. {Have I been so blind? What have I been doing, messing around with Ruby this whole time?}
~Father, what are you saying?!~ Vegeta screeched, feeling his world quickly falling apart. This couldn't be happening to him! His father and mother were soulmates! He couldn't just break up with her and then take HIS soulmate!
Once again, he was ignored. {Truly Kakarotto is a mate fit for a king. And seeing as I am one...}
~Father, no, you can't!~ Vegeta suddenly felt the communication between them cut off, leaving him only with his vision and hearing of the outside world. ~By all the Gods, what is going on here?!~
Then, it hit him like a silver bullet. ~I said `enter'!! Oh Gods! That's what I did wrong! I said ENTER! And it was right at Yinae Thak'rov, too! To be in my shoes. He's in my shoes! He's in my shoes exactly!!~
What was he going to do?! Obviously his father was affected by the soulmating that was in both of them and it twisted his perception of Kakarotto completely! And he was going to go after her...
Despair and helplessness welled up in the ouji's heart, making him absolutely infuriated at his situation. ~And I don't even have control of my own body!~ He couldn't stop this madness.
He couldn't do anything...
For the first time in a very long time, Vegeta began to feel truly afraid.
****
End of Chapter 22
B&B: ............
Miyanon: *grins* I like it!
B&B: ...................................
Bejita: You have made me insane, yet again.
Miyanon: Yup.
Bardock: You're getting me sent to the “Special” Center.
Miyanon: Yup.
Bejita: You DO realize that this changes things between us, right?
Miyanon: *laughs* Oh come on guys! It'll all work out in the end! It's the very definition of a romantic comedy!
Bardock: But I never see romantic comedies!
Miyanon: But you're in one.
Bardock: ...Yeah, that's true, I suppose.
Bejita: I just want a guarantee that everything goes back to the way it was!
Miyanon: Well...I can't really promise that...
B&B: WHAT?!
Miyanon: *quickly* Well that was the end of this chapter of Onnafied! I hope that you enjoyed it! Bye! *runs off before B&B can get a hold of her*
****