Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Perfection ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 10 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Todesengel_ 
Understanding the man behind the monster.
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Horror / Psychological | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 453 | Status: Completed
Understanding the man behind the monster.
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Horror / Psychological | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 04.23.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 453 | Status: Completed
He didn't move, his cold, black eyes staring into my own at this uncomfortable closeness, a smile pasted over his mouth. He pulled back his arm, letting me breathe finally, letting me gasp in shock and surprise at this unwanted meeting. I don't know what I had planned, what time schedule I had figured on before the inevitable meeting, only knowing that this.. yeah, this wasn't it.
Every inch of my skin actually HURT when he looked at it, the nerves and censors tugging back from him, as though knowing that this meeting was anything but natural. Energy balled around us both, though against our wills, something in this closeness erupting with a Godless feeling. It just felt wrong, just unnatural. Like two magnets with opposite energy being placed near one another and fighting against it.
His hot breath burned my eyes, and I tore them away, gasping for air. Krillin and Yamcha (who had at some point clambered out of his room) were staring like two inanimate statues, eyes wide like saucers. It would have been comical if... well, ANYTHING about this meeting was comical.
"My my my," Kakarot was sighing lazily, eyes rolling around in his head as though he were on something. "Aren't you a sight."
He came even closer, causing me to back against the wall. I was completely unnerved by his behavior, wondering if this was why people always stared at me, as if having a 6th sense for something that ought not be in their world. His height, though perfectly my own of course, was an intimidation technique all its own, looming close to the ceiling as we slumped against the wall. Every inch of his skin was beautiful and I hold no vanity in saying that. He was entirely me and yet I was entirely fascinated by him. I'd never been so awestruck, except of course when beholding Vegeta in all his androgynous appeal, staring uncouthly at this monstrous creature that held his entire body against mine.
Everything about him screamed sex and I had to oddly wonder if my body did the same thing. I'd never even realized my own sexual appetite until Vegeta had awakened it, every pore of my body suddenly drawn to this ... this THING that resembled me. It was as though our sexual hormones were matching each other, awakening a very unearthly and primal need.
I coughed it away, tearing my eyes from his again. I didn't understand this sudden obsession and I sure as shit wasn't about to indulge in stupidity quite like I had with Vegeta. No, he'd definitely cured me of that little flaw.
"So tell me," He breathed again, his powerful chest smashed against mine as he explored every feature of my face with his eyes. "beautiful stranger. Why exactly do you look just like me?"
I cursed my luck, refusing to answer. I wasn't sure just how fucked up the plans of fate had already been, almost certain that explaining "ohh.. well, see, I wished away your one biggest ally because I was fucking him for a month and was stupid enough to tell my wife about it, who yeah, was actually ALIVE in that timeline.. uhh..." was not the best of ideas at the moment.
He smiled wider, his beautiful, burgundy lips upturned slightly in the gesture. God, I wanted to choke, he was so fucking beautiful it actually hurt. I felt my toes curl in my shoes just at the thought.
"You.....look like me," He said, bending his face to the side and observing me. "You..... smell like me." He breathed hot against my neck, taking in my scent until I nearly collapsed in this all encompassing horniness that just about set the thighs of my pants on fire.
My eyes widened in horror as I suddenly had his whole tongue on my face, running up sexually over my cheek. I winced as he licked over my eyebrow, leaning his face almost tiredly against mine.
"Hmmm...." He sighed again, forehead against mine as he closed his eyes. "You... taste like me."
"Good God," Yamcha was whispering, horrified at this explicit scene.
I swallowed hard, matching my eyes once more with Kakarot's.
"What an enigma you are," He smiled, eyes gleaming.
"Well what can I say," I smarted back, lifting my eyebrows. "I try."
He grinned, white teeth shimmering between parted lips.
"And don't I love you already for it," He laughed.
He pulled back, seemingly against his will, propping an arm behind me while turning to his guards.
"Bring him," He ordered them, two well armed men grabbing me around the wrists and yanking me forwards as he made his way calmly towards the door. I growled, tearing my arms back from them, seething.
"I can WALK on my own thank you." I snapped rudely, glaring at either guard that dared to touch me without permission.
Kakarot turned, the oddest expression of confusion on his face, like I had said something that virtually made no sense at all.
"No you can't." He said simply.
I widened my eyes at that, about to retort something snotty when blood shot into my eyes and pain nearly knocked me out. He'd pointed two fingers at me, exploding both my knee caps with his energy.
"FUCK!" I screamed, sinking down. Pain was a volcanic eruption around me, my entire body trembling as I coughed and hacked, trying to suck in air when all my body could sense was horror.
A loud bang pierced the sounds of my screaming, Yamcha's gun aimed at Kakarot as a bullet was let loose at his chest. It slowed in mid air, my torment slightly subsiding as Kakarot's palm was outstretched to meet it, the bullet spinning wildly in thin air as it came to a stop.
"Ah ah ah," Kakarot grinned, eyes dark as the bullet spun around and launched itself into Yamcha's throat.
Krillin was shrieking obscenities, blood spattered all over his face as he tried to hold Yamcha's body from the ground. Blood spurt over and over out of his esophagus, pumping out with every beat of his heart. His eyes held the look of shock, glazed over as they both collapsed in a heap on the floor.
"No," I whispered, gazing up at Kakarot in terror. "No."
The darkness took me.
I had the oddest sensation of floating. I was breathing fine, encased in my beautiful dreams that set me apart from the pain, yet I felt like I was floating. Waves of cool water licked over the features on my face and tiny bubbles tickled over my limp fingers. The temperature was perfect, warm yet cool as I remained in its formless embrace. I could feel the hairs on my head, rolling about in that erotic way that only hair can when its beneath water, mezmerizing to behold.
And then it dawned on me, so quaintly, that I WAS underwater.
My eyes bolted open, seeing the glassy surface inches above my face, tangled by my sudden movements. A piece of equipment was attached to my mouth and nose, helping me breathe as I stared upwards. Both of my arms and feet were locked by metal, holding me in a crucified pose beneath the surface. I struggled weakly against them, my knees so kindly reminding me of their position when I yanked upwards, nearly passing out again from it.
I'd been stripped down to my black briefs, my hair and eyes, oddly enough, still platinum colored. I gave myself a moment to breathe a sigh of relief for that, thankful that my state of unconsciousness hadn't been deep enough to lower my level.
I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the pain of my knees, reaching an odd state of meditation that Piccolo had so long ago shown me. In the back of my mind, I could decipher a conversation, far from where I presently lay incapacitated. Harsh voices sounded, becoming clearer the more I reached out for them, the sensation of a sobbing man making my eyes open again. Hushed cries were heard, something that sounded like pleading and I even felt the movement of the air from harsh gestures. The word "please" and "free" caught my attention, my body suddenly going cold when I heard the unmistakable voice of none other than me.
"You WILL work and you WILL give me what I want." I heard him say, listening closely. "Or so help me, I'll keep her forever. You think you know the pain she suffers? You cannot even BEGIN to imagine what eternity will inflict."
I cringed at the cruel level of his voice, unable to even recall a time when I had used such a slicing tone.
"I will disembowel her arms and legs from her body," he said in a sadistic voice. "I will cut her face until it resembles that of a human FAR less than it does even now. And I will keep her alive, dearest doctor." He whispered. "Far after you leave this world, I will keep her, a corpse haunting eternity, void of soul or mind. I can make her bleed and yet her heart will keep supplying until the day my thirst for it grows numb. Imagine how long that will take. You think you know pain worse than what I can give her? Give me time and I will make her world nothing more than a chaotic cess pool of torment. You will see the extent of my sadism, good doctor, and you will cry tears of BLOOD when you do!"
Every word was bruising, the subject of the matter a mystery. I listened as he went on, understanding now what Jessie had been trying to tell me. Yes, we were definitely two different people.
"And know this," He said in an even darker voice, causing me to strain my hearing. "it will be by YOUR hand that she suffers it. See my heart through my eyes and understand that I AM being merciful. You made the monster and she is MINE. Deliver perfection into my hand, make them bow willingly and I'll set her free. You will not stand in the way of my vision. You will not stop perfection. I'm going to show this world something it has never seen before. But you will do it and you will do it until I say it is done. Than she will be yours again."
I heard more hushed sobs, though I couldn't make out whether the tone was even man or woman, a soft scurry of feet in the opposite direction as me.
A movement above me cut my thinking, staring from my laying position as Kakarot levitated directly over me. He was smiling, (from what I could see, the surface still wavering slightly) eyes bold enough to pierce through the distance between us and leave me uneasy. We were now seemingly one person, standing before a glassy mirror.
An unprecedented sensation of calmness was able to overwhelm me and I wondered oddly enough, if he felt it too. It was the strangest concept, to behold oneself as an entirely different being and I began to understand that in our sociological differences, our instincts and perhaps reactions to things might be very much the same. The calmness took over and the briefest idea came to me: that I had spent so long trying to understand and even to hate this man and yet, in all the world, in all the dimensions and in all the times, I would NEVER find someone that could possibly understand me the way that he did.
He was my brother in even a closer sense than a relative can be, staring at me with a look of marvel.
Yes, I let the idea for just a moment take me, letting down my animosity (and even rage at him for blowing out my kneecaps), and sitting in the moment of understanding. That there were things about us that no one else would ever be able to grasp like we did. That there were feelings and pains and quirks and a thousand other things that not even identical twins could comprehend the way that we would.
And even sadder thought took me: He could love you the way that Vegeta never did.
I glanced away, letting the moment fade. No. I wouldn't be so desperate. I wouldn't let myself be so foolish again. A thousand teenagers made the mistake of falling in love and being broken and although it may have happened later in my life, it didn't change the fact that it was something necessary to learn from. I could hold anger forever at what Vegeta did but that didn't mean that I wouldn't fall down and pick myself back up again, weary of the thing that had stumbled me in the first place.
Besides, I had heard the words he had spoken and despite our similarities and despite my obsession with Vegeta, I had lain with evil far too much.
I watched Kakarot slowly extent his muscular arms outright, breaking beneath the dancing surface and pressing two buttons on either of my face. A metallic clank followed as my cheeks were released, my head going forward as I broke above the water. I glared at him, trying to decipher how precisely I would get my self loose, watching as the water slowly bobbed around me, sinking lower and lower as he drained it.
He seemed to sigh, rolling his eyes as he straddled me suddenly. I quit struggling with the devices, uneasy with his position over me, either one of his legs around me as I sat in the shallow pool. I felt the hot leather of his pants around my thighs, swallowing down any reaction that might have stirred. What an odd feeling, I almost laughed, to be so turned on by oneself. Certainly Narcissus would be jerking off in his grave at that one.
His fingers moved curiously around my cheeks as I breathed in fresh air, my eyes almost rolling into the back of my head in the delirious taste of it. I took about a second to observe my surroundings, as I sat in a shallow pool of slightly green tinted water. It was a man-made pond of some sort, a small bed of water surrounded by trees and birds and grass and the whole works, yet inside a great white hall. The trickling of a waterfall came from my right, butterflies dancing around in the sunlight that broke through holes in the roof.
It was, in a word, gorgeous.
He smiled softly at it, the drug-stained detached grin gone from his features. He seemed honestly pleased by my silent approval, watching my face intently as he delicately explored the contours. I suppose if anyone else in existence had done such a thing, I would have told them to renew their vaccinations but at the same time, I knew that what he was doing was something that I myself longed to do. To understand this incredible enigma before me.
"What an odd feeling this is," He mused, never leaving my lap. "To feel myself beneath my fingertips."
I let an awkward, half-grin, grace my lips. He moved so close it felt as though our skin was gliding off each other, his hands moving down to either side of my neck. He slowly let a finger cross over dip in my throat, grazing my collarbone. It was definitely sexual and I fought down frustration as I yanked slightly on my arms, still tightly held by the wrists.
"I understand what you are, you know," He whispered. "I felt you. I've known you were here since you came. I could sense it."
"I had meant to keep my power level as low as possible," I frowned. "I had thought it was. Guess I was wrong."
"No," He shook his head, that boyish smile still gracing his features. "It wasn't that kind of feeling."
With a clank of metal being retracted from my right wrist, he lifted my hand with his. I was suddenly struck with the awful dejavu that Vegeta had done damn near the exact same thing. Yet, instead of placing my hand beneath the water, he placed it over his chest, clad in another tight black sleeveless shirt. I felt the powerful muscles expanding with breath beneath my palm.
"Here," He told me quietly. "I felt you in here."
My eyebrows highered at that statement.
"I felt something akin to magic," He told me. "In a world such as this, I knew euphoria isn't something that comes without a stimulant and I was dizzy with you. I breathed you for hours, wondering if I was crazy. Do you feel it?"
He sensually moved his nose across my cheek, his lips trailing behind as he breathed over the tiny hairs on my face. I flushed with excitement, letting my head dangle back slightly as he left half kisses up my throat. I was surrendering and I didn't care.
"This rush," He breathed. "like my veins are on fire."
I nodded gently, letting out a pent up breath. His mouth slowly moved over mine, not kissing me but his lips touching my own.
"I feel like I could drink you," he whispered, skin touching mine. "And be thirsty forever."
We were both drunk on the moment, our auras and powers contrasting and combining until we were intoxicated with sexuality. It was a calm, primal state where conscience and thought were an abyss of forgotten. I felt his teeth on my chin, bending my head backwards.
"Nothing makes sense," He sighed, eyelashes on the softest part of my throat, his steaming breath making my skin moist. "But I don't need it to."
His fingers made lazy circles on my abdomen, tracing the harsh, jagged contours of my muscular structure, perfectly his own. I knew I was rock hard but there was no need for an apology. He knew, he understood. A wordless exchange of knowledge; he would never judge me, he would never hate me, he would never turn away as everyone else had. He was me and he could love just as capably as I had.
"I know every part of you that likes this," He laughed softly. "I know every portion of your body that you want me to touch. I know every muscle group and every sick little fantasy you've ever had. You never need to be sorry around me, you never need to worry what I'll think. Isn't that the strangest freedom you've ever had? I can't even grasp it."
He pulled back a little, releasing my other wrist and allowing me to sit upright, his weight still over me.
"So tell me," He smiled charmingly. "Why are you in my world? How does a miracle of miracles come about?"
"I'd rather talk to you about this world," I said, shaking my head and trying to blink away the sensations that pushed down on me from all sides. I had to clear my head of him. I had to make my position clear although, his CURRENT position wasn't exactly making that easy. I wanted to pop my head against a rock just to grasp the complete fuck-up that was this fate of our's. How precisely is one supposed to handle an impossible situation?
"Yes," I nodded my head. "I'd rather talk about your world as mine now seems of a little less importance."
"How did you come about being here?" He asked, completely ignoring me.
"I woke up," I said in a tight voice, not exactly caring whether he believed me or not. "Now don't change the subject. We have matters, you and, and I'm almost positive you know what I'm referring to."
He made a mock face of confusion and if I hadn't, well, you know, BEEN him, I might have been fooled by it.
"Let me up," I told him, pushing at his chest and driving down the crude scenarios my mind was flooding me with. "I won't talk with you this way."
He hesitated, staring darkly into my face. I was overcome with how crazy this moment truly was, wondering if I hadn't gone completely insane in the last few days. Oh, but wouldn't that just be hilarious. Vegeta waking up from his comma, bashing my head against whatever buildings/boulders/God knows whats, until I remained just a trembling half-wit in an insane asylum.
I looked into his eyes, seeing that markings of time were completely void in his skin. We never aged, even through horrors and hardships. We never showed the scars of what lay beneath and sometimes, like him, I found that to be a curse. The only difference, (besides the obvious hair and eye color), was the darkness around his lids, shaded with sleep depravation and drug-abuse. I glanced again at the markings over his pale arms, hoping he hadn't caught me. There were physical differences and I had to remind myself, that despite his intimidating presence, I WAS stronger than him.
He slowly moved downwards, running his face a little too close to a certain area, just to tease me. It was cruel I tell you. He clicked two buttons flashing over my ankles, releasing them and standing up, his own erection displayed unapologetically. I don't know why I was so off-put by it, it WAS my own body. Still, I averted my eyes, tenderly climbing to my feet.
I wouldn't let him see how horribly the pain in my knees still was, despite the healing abilities of the pool. He gazed at me softly, sitting back against a rock and gesturing for me to speak.
"This world," I began, searching for my words. "It's completely unlike mine. In fact, despite how we look and despite this seeming "miracle of miracles", I shouldn't be here. Somehow, I've toyed with fate and have ended up or maybe even created this place. But things aren't as they should be." I looked into his eyes, wondering if I was being point-blank enough. "YOU shouldn't be as you are."
"And prey tell," He leaned back further, an amused grin on his face. "how precisely should I be?"
"Like ...." I caught my words, almost falling into his trap. He would have loved to hear me say the words 'like me'. Instead, I kept silent, glaring at him.
"Tell me about your world," He finally spoke, rolling his eyes. "Tell me about the differences."
I sorted my words, wondering how I would avoid the obvious.
"Well," I let my mouth glide to the side slightly, deep in my concentration. "All of my friends are still alive. The earth is as it was, I suppose here, ten years or so back. There are still cities and cars and freedom," I spat the word a little venomously. "I'm as I am now. The world is .... better."
"Better?" He peevishly cut me off, sitting up. "And I suppose you would know all about that pretty world, wouldn't you? Sure. You've seen every part right? Been to the worst cities, smelt the sickness of the air, watched every life around you. Or am I wrong," He paced. "And you've been doing the same exact thing I was doing 15 years ago? Nothing."
"That's not fair," I countered, being cut off again.
"Ahhh yes," He looked up with a cold smile on his features. "Fairness. In your pea-sized world of black and white, good and bad, you know ALL about justice and fairness. Just like I did. Only, I never saw a thing until 15 years ago. You haven't looked through my eyes nor watched what I have watched. We may have the same bodies and similar minds, I sense that well enough. But we are not the same man and this world is not the one you left. So leave your little tid-bits of fairness back there."
"I know what you're talking about," I told him solemnly. "You're speaking about Gohan and ChiChi. I get that."
"Ohhh... you do, do you?" He spat in an inferior voice. "You just know everything about that huh? Watching your family shit out their own intestines, your wife barfing up pieces of her innards as they melted inside her. Sure. But you didn't watch them die, did you?"
I was struck with silence.
"No," He shook his head. "I would see it on you if you had. I would see the stains of watching something like that. But you think that's the only culprit for our differences and you're wrong. We aren't so fickle as to be destroyed by that. You sense it within yourself. We loved them but we wouldn't fall to pieces without them."
I kept silent still, contemplating his words.
"Alright then," I nodded finally. "So I don't understand. I don't grasp the full sense of it. If that didn't make you what you are, if that didn't put a contradiction between us, what did?"
He sat again, crossing his arms with a scowl. He didn't meet my eyes, watching the pool instead as it refilled with fluid.
"I wasn't so different from you," He began, voice calmer now. "I played my role of good guy, beating out the bad guy. I played the father and the husband, the mannequin of a human male. I stood in my tiny world and saw the black and white of my surrounding species. The good people that came to church when ChiChi forced me and the bad guys that kidnapped and held small business for ransom. But I never saw more than that. My innocence, my primal creature prying beneath the flesh, wouldn't let me. You feel it too, I know. The encompassing monster beneath that longs for the unnatural. Only I kept it at bay, at one time. I didn't let myself see a world that I could allow myself to hate enough to change.
"So I walked amongst them with tunnel vision as to what they really were. You obviously know what happened, some good soul obviously unleashed the horrific telling of my 16 days with death. So quaint that is. At least I can refrain from that little bother of a tale. But it wasn't until afterwards that the change within me took place. I wasn't given the commodity of my little world anymore. I couldn't walk around people and see wholesomeness within them. They weren't good or bad, saintly or evil anymore. You haven't even seen evil. You cannot even understand the complexity of it.
"I walked in a world that I'd never been before and it was chaotic. What sort of man, to make a political statement for his country, unleashes something like Ebola on school kids? Hm? What kind of creature could do such a thing for no real reason? So I decided to explore. It was my only means of comprehending the useless deaths I'd witnessed. You see, I had no outlet such as revenge. They found the bastards in Triphilim City, natives apparently, not hours after the virus was released, more or less putting them down after a massive stand-off."
Triphilim City, I thought for a second, trying not to miss his words. Why did that sound so familiar?
"So I decided to explore," He continued, eyes never meeting my own. "I went into the deepest slums of the worst cities, walking around in the streets at the worst times, watching the world transform as I looked onwards. Everything I'd ever thought I understood was spat upon, as I saw rapes all around me, killings, shoot-outs, robberies. I let myself binge in bars with the worst men I've ever met, hearing their glamorized tales of mass murder, their choked cries at the end of the night as they drunkenly relaid stories of burning children meant to testify in courts.
"At the darkest time, I watched in drug-induced fascination as seven men brutally raped a 6 year old girl, beating her to pieces as they did it." His eyes took on a haunted, glazed look. "She just kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", like she had forced them to do it. Like she was somehow responsible for their cruelty. They just raped her for hours, laughing as they took turns. Afterwards, as I lay my head against the table, watching onwards, they beat her to death with belts, until I could hear the sickening flick of blood flying in the air and her squeals go silent. You're thinking right now that I should have saved her, I know because 15 years ago, I would be thinking the exact same thing. But I'm not God. We're not Gods. We don't control fate and we haven't the right to save every single stupid soul in this world because it suits our situation and our self perception.
"I watched as they numbly cut her body into pieces and stuffed the bloody hunks in an old refrigerator, arms around each other as they laughed and zipped their zippers, walking clumsily upstairs.
"I guess I thought for a long time that in order to come to terms with the purposeless death of my family, that I would have to face the element that had caused it. But I was wrong. I only began to understand that evil. I saw the world around me, in all its vastness, and I understood that I wasn't just sent here by some computer that randomly chose planets. I realized that in everything else I'd lost faith in, fate was one thing that I couldn't dismiss. I was sent here to free them in the last way they could possibly grasp; to enslave them, to make them see the error of a wasteful life.
"I befriended the coldest fiends I could, latching onto their ideals of power and greed. Evil once sat at a desk, smoking the most expensive cigar I've ever seen, and told me that fear is the only means of power. That fear could buy you more power than any amount of strength or money in this God forsaken world. And I came to understand he was right.
"I looked on, seeing the many shortcomings of humanity. Their legal justice system was an absolute joke, money buying freedom for monsters and condemning the innocent for charges incomparable to those that the rich were freed from. I saw a world where women spawned and then abandoned children to dumpsters; where men fled like cowards after realizing the consequences of loose living. I saw magazines that promoted lavish lifestyles that the average human could NEVER afford, women reading these useless pieces of garbage and tossing away thousands on plastic surgery.
"I saw a system of vanity run by gay men that HATE the female body, women walking on runways, looking like holocaust victims with their boyish bodies. And I saw the vanity in EVERY woman when she hated herself after seeing these things.
"I suppose I could sum it up by saying I saw the every day pettiness of life. I saw the uselessness of animals going extinct for the price of a fur coat. I saw the wastefulness of polluted oceans and garbage covered beaches. I understood my place in the world was to change it. You've seen the horrors of what I've done, you've heard the tales of everything I've learned. But you cannot grasp where you stand now. The way that just EVERYTHING is better."
"You might have used the dragon balls," I told him rudely. "You might have asked the dragon to help."
"They don't exist anymore," He shook his head. "After Radditz was destroyed, the earth was filled with more chaos then ever. They didn't have the one big bad to scare them into unity."
My eyes opened widely and I turned away. Triphilim City. It had been the first place destroyed by Nappa in the wake of his and Vegeta's arrival. I felt nauseous suddenly.
"We wished and we wished and we wished," He continued, oblivious to me. "We wished until we realized that the dragon's concept of "natural human death" was becoming altered. Mass destruction WAS natural for a human life. Disease, famine, violence. That was part of humanity itself, as history has shown. The dragon became tainted, bringing back people half-alive, half-dead, wandering around horrifically. We even sent out a ship to Namek, bringing back its youngest member, a means of hope that the dragon's power could be restored. It wasn't."
I contemplated this silently, swallowing my guilt down and burying it deep within myself. There was no going back now. There was nothing that I could do to take back the wish and what was done was done. Feeling sick with guilt wouldn't take it back.
"So..." I swallowed again. "What about these "factories" hm? Ending someone's life before its time is murder, or weren't you aware?"
He rolled his eyes, positioning himself more comfortably against the rock.
"So you'd rather let the human population continue to soar with their vast amounts of medical help, a woman able to conceive and birth a child LONG after it is natural for her to do so? You'd rather let sick people's lives continue on and on, treating the ailments but ignoring the inevitable? Or would YOU rather linger on until death, a ghost in a world where no one needs you, where everyone and everything you've ever loved is gone and people around you are just waiting for you to die? Is it better to live in pain and sickness, your organs shutting down one by one, your family's memories of you tainted by the burden of changing your shit covered diapers and bedpans?
"Rather, I give them the chance to bid their family goodbye and the power over death itself. They don't have to fear it. They accept it without the burden of fear regarding whether or not it will be prolonged or painful. It's a quick stab of a needle and they drift to sleep. If you believe in reincarnation, than I'm merely speeding the process along, sparing them misery."
"Fine." I said, crossing my arms. "Then what about all those people you killed? Sure, you say fear is a necessity of control, but what about spreading ebola to all those countries simply because they wouldn't bow to your command? Will you stop at nothing for power?"
"What countries did I destroy, Goku?" He stood away from the rock, circling me like prey. "Useful countries? Flourishing cultures? No. I destroyed countries founded only by hatred and jealousy for a life they aren't worthy to live. Places where the price of a human life is less than cattle, woman viewed as property of abusive, cruel men. They lived in poverty because they were too insolent to widen their horizons and see the value of those around them, yet they blamed ANYONE but themselves for their conditions.
"I destroyed countries that mutilated their women's genitals for their own sick, selfish pleasure. Countries that strapped explosive weapons to the chests of their own fucking children, just to end the lives of their enemies. I destroyed countries where their only resources were spent created weapons to unleash monstrosities upon those they deemed as unworthy of life. And understand, I feel absolutely no guilt regarding it. Yes, my ideals are radical but that doesn't mean they aren't logical."
"Logic." I spat arrogantly, standing upright and gazing at him. I was tired of his scrutiny, his ability to undermine even the most basic morals seemingly to justify his sadistic need for devastation. "Tell me than, Kakarot. When your logic fails you, which it inevitably does for us all, when justification falls short of expectation, what happens?"
I moved up to him, silently congratulating myself for actually catching him unaware.
"What I mean is," I continued. "What happens when you start to feel again?"
He was silent, jaw tight as he remained staring at me.
"Logic seems at times to be the void of emotional eccentricity." I reasoned. "When you don't want to feel, when you don't want to believe in something greater than yourself, than logic will always be a commodity; then numbness will always give you the justification you need for your actions. But what if they fail? What if you start to feel again?"
I moved towards him, wearily holding his wrist up.
"Or is it," I smoothed my finger over the jagged marks that tore up his arms. "that you already know the touch of a conscience you've so obviously tried to silence?"
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Every inch of my skin actually HURT when he looked at it, the nerves and censors tugging back from him, as though knowing that this meeting was anything but natural. Energy balled around us both, though against our wills, something in this closeness erupting with a Godless feeling. It just felt wrong, just unnatural. Like two magnets with opposite energy being placed near one another and fighting against it.
His hot breath burned my eyes, and I tore them away, gasping for air. Krillin and Yamcha (who had at some point clambered out of his room) were staring like two inanimate statues, eyes wide like saucers. It would have been comical if... well, ANYTHING about this meeting was comical.
"My my my," Kakarot was sighing lazily, eyes rolling around in his head as though he were on something. "Aren't you a sight."
He came even closer, causing me to back against the wall. I was completely unnerved by his behavior, wondering if this was why people always stared at me, as if having a 6th sense for something that ought not be in their world. His height, though perfectly my own of course, was an intimidation technique all its own, looming close to the ceiling as we slumped against the wall. Every inch of his skin was beautiful and I hold no vanity in saying that. He was entirely me and yet I was entirely fascinated by him. I'd never been so awestruck, except of course when beholding Vegeta in all his androgynous appeal, staring uncouthly at this monstrous creature that held his entire body against mine.
Everything about him screamed sex and I had to oddly wonder if my body did the same thing. I'd never even realized my own sexual appetite until Vegeta had awakened it, every pore of my body suddenly drawn to this ... this THING that resembled me. It was as though our sexual hormones were matching each other, awakening a very unearthly and primal need.
I coughed it away, tearing my eyes from his again. I didn't understand this sudden obsession and I sure as shit wasn't about to indulge in stupidity quite like I had with Vegeta. No, he'd definitely cured me of that little flaw.
"So tell me," He breathed again, his powerful chest smashed against mine as he explored every feature of my face with his eyes. "beautiful stranger. Why exactly do you look just like me?"
I cursed my luck, refusing to answer. I wasn't sure just how fucked up the plans of fate had already been, almost certain that explaining "ohh.. well, see, I wished away your one biggest ally because I was fucking him for a month and was stupid enough to tell my wife about it, who yeah, was actually ALIVE in that timeline.. uhh..." was not the best of ideas at the moment.
He smiled wider, his beautiful, burgundy lips upturned slightly in the gesture. God, I wanted to choke, he was so fucking beautiful it actually hurt. I felt my toes curl in my shoes just at the thought.
"You.....look like me," He said, bending his face to the side and observing me. "You..... smell like me." He breathed hot against my neck, taking in my scent until I nearly collapsed in this all encompassing horniness that just about set the thighs of my pants on fire.
My eyes widened in horror as I suddenly had his whole tongue on my face, running up sexually over my cheek. I winced as he licked over my eyebrow, leaning his face almost tiredly against mine.
"Hmmm...." He sighed again, forehead against mine as he closed his eyes. "You... taste like me."
"Good God," Yamcha was whispering, horrified at this explicit scene.
I swallowed hard, matching my eyes once more with Kakarot's.
"What an enigma you are," He smiled, eyes gleaming.
"Well what can I say," I smarted back, lifting my eyebrows. "I try."
He grinned, white teeth shimmering between parted lips.
"And don't I love you already for it," He laughed.
He pulled back, seemingly against his will, propping an arm behind me while turning to his guards.
"Bring him," He ordered them, two well armed men grabbing me around the wrists and yanking me forwards as he made his way calmly towards the door. I growled, tearing my arms back from them, seething.
"I can WALK on my own thank you." I snapped rudely, glaring at either guard that dared to touch me without permission.
Kakarot turned, the oddest expression of confusion on his face, like I had said something that virtually made no sense at all.
"No you can't." He said simply.
I widened my eyes at that, about to retort something snotty when blood shot into my eyes and pain nearly knocked me out. He'd pointed two fingers at me, exploding both my knee caps with his energy.
"FUCK!" I screamed, sinking down. Pain was a volcanic eruption around me, my entire body trembling as I coughed and hacked, trying to suck in air when all my body could sense was horror.
A loud bang pierced the sounds of my screaming, Yamcha's gun aimed at Kakarot as a bullet was let loose at his chest. It slowed in mid air, my torment slightly subsiding as Kakarot's palm was outstretched to meet it, the bullet spinning wildly in thin air as it came to a stop.
"Ah ah ah," Kakarot grinned, eyes dark as the bullet spun around and launched itself into Yamcha's throat.
Krillin was shrieking obscenities, blood spattered all over his face as he tried to hold Yamcha's body from the ground. Blood spurt over and over out of his esophagus, pumping out with every beat of his heart. His eyes held the look of shock, glazed over as they both collapsed in a heap on the floor.
"No," I whispered, gazing up at Kakarot in terror. "No."
The darkness took me.
I had the oddest sensation of floating. I was breathing fine, encased in my beautiful dreams that set me apart from the pain, yet I felt like I was floating. Waves of cool water licked over the features on my face and tiny bubbles tickled over my limp fingers. The temperature was perfect, warm yet cool as I remained in its formless embrace. I could feel the hairs on my head, rolling about in that erotic way that only hair can when its beneath water, mezmerizing to behold.
And then it dawned on me, so quaintly, that I WAS underwater.
My eyes bolted open, seeing the glassy surface inches above my face, tangled by my sudden movements. A piece of equipment was attached to my mouth and nose, helping me breathe as I stared upwards. Both of my arms and feet were locked by metal, holding me in a crucified pose beneath the surface. I struggled weakly against them, my knees so kindly reminding me of their position when I yanked upwards, nearly passing out again from it.
I'd been stripped down to my black briefs, my hair and eyes, oddly enough, still platinum colored. I gave myself a moment to breathe a sigh of relief for that, thankful that my state of unconsciousness hadn't been deep enough to lower my level.
I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the pain of my knees, reaching an odd state of meditation that Piccolo had so long ago shown me. In the back of my mind, I could decipher a conversation, far from where I presently lay incapacitated. Harsh voices sounded, becoming clearer the more I reached out for them, the sensation of a sobbing man making my eyes open again. Hushed cries were heard, something that sounded like pleading and I even felt the movement of the air from harsh gestures. The word "please" and "free" caught my attention, my body suddenly going cold when I heard the unmistakable voice of none other than me.
"You WILL work and you WILL give me what I want." I heard him say, listening closely. "Or so help me, I'll keep her forever. You think you know the pain she suffers? You cannot even BEGIN to imagine what eternity will inflict."
I cringed at the cruel level of his voice, unable to even recall a time when I had used such a slicing tone.
"I will disembowel her arms and legs from her body," he said in a sadistic voice. "I will cut her face until it resembles that of a human FAR less than it does even now. And I will keep her alive, dearest doctor." He whispered. "Far after you leave this world, I will keep her, a corpse haunting eternity, void of soul or mind. I can make her bleed and yet her heart will keep supplying until the day my thirst for it grows numb. Imagine how long that will take. You think you know pain worse than what I can give her? Give me time and I will make her world nothing more than a chaotic cess pool of torment. You will see the extent of my sadism, good doctor, and you will cry tears of BLOOD when you do!"
Every word was bruising, the subject of the matter a mystery. I listened as he went on, understanding now what Jessie had been trying to tell me. Yes, we were definitely two different people.
"And know this," He said in an even darker voice, causing me to strain my hearing. "it will be by YOUR hand that she suffers it. See my heart through my eyes and understand that I AM being merciful. You made the monster and she is MINE. Deliver perfection into my hand, make them bow willingly and I'll set her free. You will not stand in the way of my vision. You will not stop perfection. I'm going to show this world something it has never seen before. But you will do it and you will do it until I say it is done. Than she will be yours again."
I heard more hushed sobs, though I couldn't make out whether the tone was even man or woman, a soft scurry of feet in the opposite direction as me.
A movement above me cut my thinking, staring from my laying position as Kakarot levitated directly over me. He was smiling, (from what I could see, the surface still wavering slightly) eyes bold enough to pierce through the distance between us and leave me uneasy. We were now seemingly one person, standing before a glassy mirror.
An unprecedented sensation of calmness was able to overwhelm me and I wondered oddly enough, if he felt it too. It was the strangest concept, to behold oneself as an entirely different being and I began to understand that in our sociological differences, our instincts and perhaps reactions to things might be very much the same. The calmness took over and the briefest idea came to me: that I had spent so long trying to understand and even to hate this man and yet, in all the world, in all the dimensions and in all the times, I would NEVER find someone that could possibly understand me the way that he did.
He was my brother in even a closer sense than a relative can be, staring at me with a look of marvel.
Yes, I let the idea for just a moment take me, letting down my animosity (and even rage at him for blowing out my kneecaps), and sitting in the moment of understanding. That there were things about us that no one else would ever be able to grasp like we did. That there were feelings and pains and quirks and a thousand other things that not even identical twins could comprehend the way that we would.
And even sadder thought took me: He could love you the way that Vegeta never did.
I glanced away, letting the moment fade. No. I wouldn't be so desperate. I wouldn't let myself be so foolish again. A thousand teenagers made the mistake of falling in love and being broken and although it may have happened later in my life, it didn't change the fact that it was something necessary to learn from. I could hold anger forever at what Vegeta did but that didn't mean that I wouldn't fall down and pick myself back up again, weary of the thing that had stumbled me in the first place.
Besides, I had heard the words he had spoken and despite our similarities and despite my obsession with Vegeta, I had lain with evil far too much.
I watched Kakarot slowly extent his muscular arms outright, breaking beneath the dancing surface and pressing two buttons on either of my face. A metallic clank followed as my cheeks were released, my head going forward as I broke above the water. I glared at him, trying to decipher how precisely I would get my self loose, watching as the water slowly bobbed around me, sinking lower and lower as he drained it.
He seemed to sigh, rolling his eyes as he straddled me suddenly. I quit struggling with the devices, uneasy with his position over me, either one of his legs around me as I sat in the shallow pool. I felt the hot leather of his pants around my thighs, swallowing down any reaction that might have stirred. What an odd feeling, I almost laughed, to be so turned on by oneself. Certainly Narcissus would be jerking off in his grave at that one.
His fingers moved curiously around my cheeks as I breathed in fresh air, my eyes almost rolling into the back of my head in the delirious taste of it. I took about a second to observe my surroundings, as I sat in a shallow pool of slightly green tinted water. It was a man-made pond of some sort, a small bed of water surrounded by trees and birds and grass and the whole works, yet inside a great white hall. The trickling of a waterfall came from my right, butterflies dancing around in the sunlight that broke through holes in the roof.
It was, in a word, gorgeous.
He smiled softly at it, the drug-stained detached grin gone from his features. He seemed honestly pleased by my silent approval, watching my face intently as he delicately explored the contours. I suppose if anyone else in existence had done such a thing, I would have told them to renew their vaccinations but at the same time, I knew that what he was doing was something that I myself longed to do. To understand this incredible enigma before me.
"What an odd feeling this is," He mused, never leaving my lap. "To feel myself beneath my fingertips."
I let an awkward, half-grin, grace my lips. He moved so close it felt as though our skin was gliding off each other, his hands moving down to either side of my neck. He slowly let a finger cross over dip in my throat, grazing my collarbone. It was definitely sexual and I fought down frustration as I yanked slightly on my arms, still tightly held by the wrists.
"I understand what you are, you know," He whispered. "I felt you. I've known you were here since you came. I could sense it."
"I had meant to keep my power level as low as possible," I frowned. "I had thought it was. Guess I was wrong."
"No," He shook his head, that boyish smile still gracing his features. "It wasn't that kind of feeling."
With a clank of metal being retracted from my right wrist, he lifted my hand with his. I was suddenly struck with the awful dejavu that Vegeta had done damn near the exact same thing. Yet, instead of placing my hand beneath the water, he placed it over his chest, clad in another tight black sleeveless shirt. I felt the powerful muscles expanding with breath beneath my palm.
"Here," He told me quietly. "I felt you in here."
My eyebrows highered at that statement.
"I felt something akin to magic," He told me. "In a world such as this, I knew euphoria isn't something that comes without a stimulant and I was dizzy with you. I breathed you for hours, wondering if I was crazy. Do you feel it?"
He sensually moved his nose across my cheek, his lips trailing behind as he breathed over the tiny hairs on my face. I flushed with excitement, letting my head dangle back slightly as he left half kisses up my throat. I was surrendering and I didn't care.
"This rush," He breathed. "like my veins are on fire."
I nodded gently, letting out a pent up breath. His mouth slowly moved over mine, not kissing me but his lips touching my own.
"I feel like I could drink you," he whispered, skin touching mine. "And be thirsty forever."
We were both drunk on the moment, our auras and powers contrasting and combining until we were intoxicated with sexuality. It was a calm, primal state where conscience and thought were an abyss of forgotten. I felt his teeth on my chin, bending my head backwards.
"Nothing makes sense," He sighed, eyelashes on the softest part of my throat, his steaming breath making my skin moist. "But I don't need it to."
His fingers made lazy circles on my abdomen, tracing the harsh, jagged contours of my muscular structure, perfectly his own. I knew I was rock hard but there was no need for an apology. He knew, he understood. A wordless exchange of knowledge; he would never judge me, he would never hate me, he would never turn away as everyone else had. He was me and he could love just as capably as I had.
"I know every part of you that likes this," He laughed softly. "I know every portion of your body that you want me to touch. I know every muscle group and every sick little fantasy you've ever had. You never need to be sorry around me, you never need to worry what I'll think. Isn't that the strangest freedom you've ever had? I can't even grasp it."
He pulled back a little, releasing my other wrist and allowing me to sit upright, his weight still over me.
"So tell me," He smiled charmingly. "Why are you in my world? How does a miracle of miracles come about?"
"I'd rather talk to you about this world," I said, shaking my head and trying to blink away the sensations that pushed down on me from all sides. I had to clear my head of him. I had to make my position clear although, his CURRENT position wasn't exactly making that easy. I wanted to pop my head against a rock just to grasp the complete fuck-up that was this fate of our's. How precisely is one supposed to handle an impossible situation?
"Yes," I nodded my head. "I'd rather talk about your world as mine now seems of a little less importance."
"How did you come about being here?" He asked, completely ignoring me.
"I woke up," I said in a tight voice, not exactly caring whether he believed me or not. "Now don't change the subject. We have matters, you and, and I'm almost positive you know what I'm referring to."
He made a mock face of confusion and if I hadn't, well, you know, BEEN him, I might have been fooled by it.
"Let me up," I told him, pushing at his chest and driving down the crude scenarios my mind was flooding me with. "I won't talk with you this way."
He hesitated, staring darkly into my face. I was overcome with how crazy this moment truly was, wondering if I hadn't gone completely insane in the last few days. Oh, but wouldn't that just be hilarious. Vegeta waking up from his comma, bashing my head against whatever buildings/boulders/God knows whats, until I remained just a trembling half-wit in an insane asylum.
I looked into his eyes, seeing that markings of time were completely void in his skin. We never aged, even through horrors and hardships. We never showed the scars of what lay beneath and sometimes, like him, I found that to be a curse. The only difference, (besides the obvious hair and eye color), was the darkness around his lids, shaded with sleep depravation and drug-abuse. I glanced again at the markings over his pale arms, hoping he hadn't caught me. There were physical differences and I had to remind myself, that despite his intimidating presence, I WAS stronger than him.
He slowly moved downwards, running his face a little too close to a certain area, just to tease me. It was cruel I tell you. He clicked two buttons flashing over my ankles, releasing them and standing up, his own erection displayed unapologetically. I don't know why I was so off-put by it, it WAS my own body. Still, I averted my eyes, tenderly climbing to my feet.
I wouldn't let him see how horribly the pain in my knees still was, despite the healing abilities of the pool. He gazed at me softly, sitting back against a rock and gesturing for me to speak.
"This world," I began, searching for my words. "It's completely unlike mine. In fact, despite how we look and despite this seeming "miracle of miracles", I shouldn't be here. Somehow, I've toyed with fate and have ended up or maybe even created this place. But things aren't as they should be." I looked into his eyes, wondering if I was being point-blank enough. "YOU shouldn't be as you are."
"And prey tell," He leaned back further, an amused grin on his face. "how precisely should I be?"
"Like ...." I caught my words, almost falling into his trap. He would have loved to hear me say the words 'like me'. Instead, I kept silent, glaring at him.
"Tell me about your world," He finally spoke, rolling his eyes. "Tell me about the differences."
I sorted my words, wondering how I would avoid the obvious.
"Well," I let my mouth glide to the side slightly, deep in my concentration. "All of my friends are still alive. The earth is as it was, I suppose here, ten years or so back. There are still cities and cars and freedom," I spat the word a little venomously. "I'm as I am now. The world is .... better."
"Better?" He peevishly cut me off, sitting up. "And I suppose you would know all about that pretty world, wouldn't you? Sure. You've seen every part right? Been to the worst cities, smelt the sickness of the air, watched every life around you. Or am I wrong," He paced. "And you've been doing the same exact thing I was doing 15 years ago? Nothing."
"That's not fair," I countered, being cut off again.
"Ahhh yes," He looked up with a cold smile on his features. "Fairness. In your pea-sized world of black and white, good and bad, you know ALL about justice and fairness. Just like I did. Only, I never saw a thing until 15 years ago. You haven't looked through my eyes nor watched what I have watched. We may have the same bodies and similar minds, I sense that well enough. But we are not the same man and this world is not the one you left. So leave your little tid-bits of fairness back there."
"I know what you're talking about," I told him solemnly. "You're speaking about Gohan and ChiChi. I get that."
"Ohhh... you do, do you?" He spat in an inferior voice. "You just know everything about that huh? Watching your family shit out their own intestines, your wife barfing up pieces of her innards as they melted inside her. Sure. But you didn't watch them die, did you?"
I was struck with silence.
"No," He shook his head. "I would see it on you if you had. I would see the stains of watching something like that. But you think that's the only culprit for our differences and you're wrong. We aren't so fickle as to be destroyed by that. You sense it within yourself. We loved them but we wouldn't fall to pieces without them."
I kept silent still, contemplating his words.
"Alright then," I nodded finally. "So I don't understand. I don't grasp the full sense of it. If that didn't make you what you are, if that didn't put a contradiction between us, what did?"
He sat again, crossing his arms with a scowl. He didn't meet my eyes, watching the pool instead as it refilled with fluid.
"I wasn't so different from you," He began, voice calmer now. "I played my role of good guy, beating out the bad guy. I played the father and the husband, the mannequin of a human male. I stood in my tiny world and saw the black and white of my surrounding species. The good people that came to church when ChiChi forced me and the bad guys that kidnapped and held small business for ransom. But I never saw more than that. My innocence, my primal creature prying beneath the flesh, wouldn't let me. You feel it too, I know. The encompassing monster beneath that longs for the unnatural. Only I kept it at bay, at one time. I didn't let myself see a world that I could allow myself to hate enough to change.
"So I walked amongst them with tunnel vision as to what they really were. You obviously know what happened, some good soul obviously unleashed the horrific telling of my 16 days with death. So quaint that is. At least I can refrain from that little bother of a tale. But it wasn't until afterwards that the change within me took place. I wasn't given the commodity of my little world anymore. I couldn't walk around people and see wholesomeness within them. They weren't good or bad, saintly or evil anymore. You haven't even seen evil. You cannot even understand the complexity of it.
"I walked in a world that I'd never been before and it was chaotic. What sort of man, to make a political statement for his country, unleashes something like Ebola on school kids? Hm? What kind of creature could do such a thing for no real reason? So I decided to explore. It was my only means of comprehending the useless deaths I'd witnessed. You see, I had no outlet such as revenge. They found the bastards in Triphilim City, natives apparently, not hours after the virus was released, more or less putting them down after a massive stand-off."
Triphilim City, I thought for a second, trying not to miss his words. Why did that sound so familiar?
"So I decided to explore," He continued, eyes never meeting my own. "I went into the deepest slums of the worst cities, walking around in the streets at the worst times, watching the world transform as I looked onwards. Everything I'd ever thought I understood was spat upon, as I saw rapes all around me, killings, shoot-outs, robberies. I let myself binge in bars with the worst men I've ever met, hearing their glamorized tales of mass murder, their choked cries at the end of the night as they drunkenly relaid stories of burning children meant to testify in courts.
"At the darkest time, I watched in drug-induced fascination as seven men brutally raped a 6 year old girl, beating her to pieces as they did it." His eyes took on a haunted, glazed look. "She just kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", like she had forced them to do it. Like she was somehow responsible for their cruelty. They just raped her for hours, laughing as they took turns. Afterwards, as I lay my head against the table, watching onwards, they beat her to death with belts, until I could hear the sickening flick of blood flying in the air and her squeals go silent. You're thinking right now that I should have saved her, I know because 15 years ago, I would be thinking the exact same thing. But I'm not God. We're not Gods. We don't control fate and we haven't the right to save every single stupid soul in this world because it suits our situation and our self perception.
"I watched as they numbly cut her body into pieces and stuffed the bloody hunks in an old refrigerator, arms around each other as they laughed and zipped their zippers, walking clumsily upstairs.
"I guess I thought for a long time that in order to come to terms with the purposeless death of my family, that I would have to face the element that had caused it. But I was wrong. I only began to understand that evil. I saw the world around me, in all its vastness, and I understood that I wasn't just sent here by some computer that randomly chose planets. I realized that in everything else I'd lost faith in, fate was one thing that I couldn't dismiss. I was sent here to free them in the last way they could possibly grasp; to enslave them, to make them see the error of a wasteful life.
"I befriended the coldest fiends I could, latching onto their ideals of power and greed. Evil once sat at a desk, smoking the most expensive cigar I've ever seen, and told me that fear is the only means of power. That fear could buy you more power than any amount of strength or money in this God forsaken world. And I came to understand he was right.
"I looked on, seeing the many shortcomings of humanity. Their legal justice system was an absolute joke, money buying freedom for monsters and condemning the innocent for charges incomparable to those that the rich were freed from. I saw a world where women spawned and then abandoned children to dumpsters; where men fled like cowards after realizing the consequences of loose living. I saw magazines that promoted lavish lifestyles that the average human could NEVER afford, women reading these useless pieces of garbage and tossing away thousands on plastic surgery.
"I saw a system of vanity run by gay men that HATE the female body, women walking on runways, looking like holocaust victims with their boyish bodies. And I saw the vanity in EVERY woman when she hated herself after seeing these things.
"I suppose I could sum it up by saying I saw the every day pettiness of life. I saw the uselessness of animals going extinct for the price of a fur coat. I saw the wastefulness of polluted oceans and garbage covered beaches. I understood my place in the world was to change it. You've seen the horrors of what I've done, you've heard the tales of everything I've learned. But you cannot grasp where you stand now. The way that just EVERYTHING is better."
"You might have used the dragon balls," I told him rudely. "You might have asked the dragon to help."
"They don't exist anymore," He shook his head. "After Radditz was destroyed, the earth was filled with more chaos then ever. They didn't have the one big bad to scare them into unity."
My eyes opened widely and I turned away. Triphilim City. It had been the first place destroyed by Nappa in the wake of his and Vegeta's arrival. I felt nauseous suddenly.
"We wished and we wished and we wished," He continued, oblivious to me. "We wished until we realized that the dragon's concept of "natural human death" was becoming altered. Mass destruction WAS natural for a human life. Disease, famine, violence. That was part of humanity itself, as history has shown. The dragon became tainted, bringing back people half-alive, half-dead, wandering around horrifically. We even sent out a ship to Namek, bringing back its youngest member, a means of hope that the dragon's power could be restored. It wasn't."
I contemplated this silently, swallowing my guilt down and burying it deep within myself. There was no going back now. There was nothing that I could do to take back the wish and what was done was done. Feeling sick with guilt wouldn't take it back.
"So..." I swallowed again. "What about these "factories" hm? Ending someone's life before its time is murder, or weren't you aware?"
He rolled his eyes, positioning himself more comfortably against the rock.
"So you'd rather let the human population continue to soar with their vast amounts of medical help, a woman able to conceive and birth a child LONG after it is natural for her to do so? You'd rather let sick people's lives continue on and on, treating the ailments but ignoring the inevitable? Or would YOU rather linger on until death, a ghost in a world where no one needs you, where everyone and everything you've ever loved is gone and people around you are just waiting for you to die? Is it better to live in pain and sickness, your organs shutting down one by one, your family's memories of you tainted by the burden of changing your shit covered diapers and bedpans?
"Rather, I give them the chance to bid their family goodbye and the power over death itself. They don't have to fear it. They accept it without the burden of fear regarding whether or not it will be prolonged or painful. It's a quick stab of a needle and they drift to sleep. If you believe in reincarnation, than I'm merely speeding the process along, sparing them misery."
"Fine." I said, crossing my arms. "Then what about all those people you killed? Sure, you say fear is a necessity of control, but what about spreading ebola to all those countries simply because they wouldn't bow to your command? Will you stop at nothing for power?"
"What countries did I destroy, Goku?" He stood away from the rock, circling me like prey. "Useful countries? Flourishing cultures? No. I destroyed countries founded only by hatred and jealousy for a life they aren't worthy to live. Places where the price of a human life is less than cattle, woman viewed as property of abusive, cruel men. They lived in poverty because they were too insolent to widen their horizons and see the value of those around them, yet they blamed ANYONE but themselves for their conditions.
"I destroyed countries that mutilated their women's genitals for their own sick, selfish pleasure. Countries that strapped explosive weapons to the chests of their own fucking children, just to end the lives of their enemies. I destroyed countries where their only resources were spent created weapons to unleash monstrosities upon those they deemed as unworthy of life. And understand, I feel absolutely no guilt regarding it. Yes, my ideals are radical but that doesn't mean they aren't logical."
"Logic." I spat arrogantly, standing upright and gazing at him. I was tired of his scrutiny, his ability to undermine even the most basic morals seemingly to justify his sadistic need for devastation. "Tell me than, Kakarot. When your logic fails you, which it inevitably does for us all, when justification falls short of expectation, what happens?"
I moved up to him, silently congratulating myself for actually catching him unaware.
"What I mean is," I continued. "What happens when you start to feel again?"
He was silent, jaw tight as he remained staring at me.
"Logic seems at times to be the void of emotional eccentricity." I reasoned. "When you don't want to feel, when you don't want to believe in something greater than yourself, than logic will always be a commodity; then numbness will always give you the justification you need for your actions. But what if they fail? What if you start to feel again?"
I moved towards him, wearily holding his wrist up.
"Or is it," I smoothed my finger over the jagged marks that tore up his arms. "that you already know the touch of a conscience you've so obviously tried to silence?"
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