Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Pruple Surprise ❯ Chapter 5

Purple Surprise-Part 5

By: Bulmafox

"Darn you, Vegeta!" Bulma yelled as she and her 'captor' launched into outer space, "Where do you think you're taking me this time?"

Vegeta fiddled with the controls. "Anywhere but here."

"B-but-"

"We have all the supplies we need. We're leaving that rock for good." Vegeta finished fiddling with the control panel, then sat back in his seat for a minute before he got up. "I'm going to train now." Vegeta walked toward the back of the ship.

Bulma grabbed his arm. "Oh no you're not, buster. We're going to talk."

"About what?"

"You know very well what we need to talk about. Our relationship."

"We're leaving the planet together, we're going to have a kid in six months; what is there to talk about?"

"Plenty. For one, will you be here for your child?"

"Aw, why not?"

"That's not good enough! I need a straight answer. I can raise this child by myself if I need to, but I need to know if you're going to be here for us."

"Why? So you can drop me like a hat if I say no? Pretend like we never existed?"

"I don't want to, but if it comes down to it…yes."

Vegeta's eyes widened. "Surely you're not considering going back to Yamcha?"

"No. I have no intention of ever going back to him. But if you're not responsible enough to take care of our child, then what's the point of us continuing?"

Vegeta exploded. "Listen woman, I have been Frieza's puppet for thirty years! I've had to survive on my own for months at a time! I had to manage two overgrown baboons while plotting Frieza's demise! Don't talk to me about responsible."

"So you'll stay?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you're skirting the question."

Vegeta sighed. "Fine, I'll help with the brat. I'll train it when it gets old enough. Happy?"

"Vegeta-"

"That's the best I can promise you. It's a thousand times better than my father did."

Bulma pulled Vegeta closer to her. "Thanks."

Vegeta smirked. "Better me than that worm."

"So…what do we do now? Now that we're out in space, I mean."

"We're getting married." Vegeta said it like a command instead of a question.

Bulma pulled away. "Oh we are, are we? And do I get a say in this?"

"You know you want it."

"If you had been eavesdropping earlier, you'd know I protested loudly against it."

"Because you thought I'd refuse. Well, I'm doing the asking, so you're accepting."

"Excuse me, but I can make up my own mind, you know."

Vegeta snorted. "Whatever you say. I'll be in my gravity chamber." He disappeared to the back of the ship.

Bulma wandered to the front of the ship and sat in the pilot's seat to think over Vegeta's proposal.

*************************************************************** *

A few hours later, Bulma walked to the back of the ship to tell Vegeta her decision. She shut off the gravity before entering the chamber, sending Vegeta crashing into the ceiling.

"Woman, how many times do I have to tell you never to do that?!" Vegeta fumed after he recovered from his crash.

"I've decided to accept," Bulma announced.

"Accept what?"

"Your proposal."

Vegeta strutted toward Bulma, closing the gap between him. Bulma felt her knees weaken. Kami, even when he had been working out five hours straight and was in heavy need of a shower, she still found him alluring. Actually, she decided, the thick layer of sweat only added to his appeal. Vegeta wrapped his arms around Bulma's neck and said, "So you finally came to your senses."

"Are you suggesting I don't have a brain?"

Vegeta inched his face closer to Bulma's. "I'm suggesting you don't have sense enough to use it."

Bulma lowered her voice. "Well I must have some sense since I chose you."

Vegeta rasped, "Woman, that's the first bit of good sense you've shown all day." He kissed her hard on the lips and backed her up against the wall.

Bulma ran her hands up Vegeta's sweaty back and ran them through his hair.

She started pulsating against his body, obviously asking for more. Vegeta removed Bulma's orange jacket and red tank top, deciding to leave her bra intact for the moment. He nipped his way up Bulma's throat, to her ear…

Then she shrieked.

Vegeta jerked his head back to see what had his woman so frightened. Already her face had turned white as she clasped the first article of clothing she found to her chest. Vegeta turned around and snarled at the cause of Bulma's distress.

Goku, Chi Chi, and Yamcha stood directly in front of them, gaping at the agitated Saiyan. Vegeta suddenly remembered his current state and turned around, embarrassed that he let them see him like that.

"Goku, you dunce! What in the world are you doing here!? I could've been naked for all you know!" Bulma ranted as soon as she recovered from her shock..

"Aw, nudity's no big deal," Goku said casually.

"It is to me, now turn around!" Bulma snapped.

"Aw come on, can't I watch you get dressed, just this once?" Goku pleaded.

Bulma made a flat face. "Turn around before I throw something at you. Now."

Goku did as he was told.

Once Bulma was fully dressed, she lead everyone to the front of the space ship and sat them down. "Now what is so important that you had to interrupt me?"

Vegeta cleared his throat rather loudly.

Chi Chi said, "We want you to come back, Bulma."

Goku added, "It just ain't the same without you."

Yamcha stood up and made a grand speech. "Bulma, ever since we were kids I knew we were destined for one another. We are forever linked by the stars. Just come back with me, and I'll show you the life you were meant to have. Just think, you and me and a white picket fence with a couple of kids and a cat. I always have and always will love you, Bulma Briefs. Marry me so we can start our new life together." Yamcha ended up on the floor on one knee, holding out a diamond ring.

Bulma stayed silent for a minute, adding to the suspense. Then she said, "What makes you think I want you back?"

Yamcha's jaw dropped to the floor. "B-but I love you, and he doesn't!"

"I don't care. You blew all your chances. Now it's Vegeta's turn."

"Um, can we talk, you know, in private?"

"No."

Yamcha pulled her into another room anyway.

"Let go of me, you beast!" Bulma screamed. "Vegeta'll kill you for manhandling me!"

"Hush! Vegeta doesn't have to know. Just come back to Earth and marry me, and I'll forgive your little indiscretion."

"Indiscretion, huh? Is that what you call me and Vegeta?"

"Listen, Bulma, I know you're a little mad at me right now. You were hurt and you had a one-night stand with some random jerk, I understand that. I just think if we can talk it out…"

"Talk it out? Talk it out?! What do you take me for, Yamcha, a moron? I'm not the one who casually slept with fifteen different women while whispering sweet nothings in your ear!"

"I've never slept with any other women! Name five."

"Cindy, Mindy, Amanda, Tanya, and Priscilla, and that's just off the top of my head."

Yamcha had an extremely guilty look on his face, but tried to cover it up. "Well, you cheated too, so that makes you no better than me."

"I think not. Let's see…your hundred women to my one man? I think I win."

"But you're carrying his child, so that makes it far worse."

Bulma stuck her nose in the air. "Whatever. I'm done with you." She turned around and walked away.

Yamcha grabbed her arm,. "Oh no you're not. You're not done until I say you're done."

Bulma said in a low voice, "You don't want to do this, Yamcha."

"Obviously Vegeta's poison has gotten to you. I have to make you see the light; make you realize you're just throwing your life away with him; make you realize that you belong to me."

Bulma's eyes widened in horror. "Yamcha, you're gonna…" she trailed off. "No, I won't let you!" She tried wrestling away from his grip, but Yamcha pulled her closer and trapped her with his superhuman strength.

Yamcha led Bulma to the bed and pinned her down. He started nipping at her neck, ignoring her feeble attempts to fight him off. She tried everything, biting, scratching, kicking, everything, but Yamcha pinned her down so she could not move. Finally, as a last resort she sincerely hoped would work, she cried out, "VEGETAAAA!"

Yamcha clamped his hand over Bulma's mouth. "Hush, woman!" he whispered harshly, "No one's gonna interrupt us!"

A few seconds later, Yamcha heard the door being ripped off its hinges and cast aside. Without looking up, he said, "Back off, Vegeta. Bulma and I are having a romantic reunion."

Vegeta flew at Yamcha and threw him to the floor. "There's nothing romantic about forcing a woman to submit to your will," he said before punching the tar out of Yamcha.

"Who are you to talk?" Yamcha sputtered. "It's not like you haven't forced a couple hundred women in your lifetime."

Vegeta threw Yamcha clear across the room. "Don't ever presume to know what I have or haven't done! You know nothing of my childhood!" Vegeta marched toward Yamcha, intent on killing the spineless worm that had just tried to force himself on his woman. Yamcha was going to wish he had never met Vegeta, he was sure of that.

Suddenly Goku teleported himself in between the two feuding men. "Vegeta, stop it. Don't kill Yamcha."

"Why shouldn't I?" Vegeta asked.

"Because he was only trying to patch things up with his sweetheart."

Vegeta facevaulted. "Kakarot, how dense can you possibly be?! Do you honestly not know what he was going to do to her?"

"Yes. He was going to make up with her."

"No, you imbecile! He was going to rape her! Rape her!"

Goku asked stupidly, "Uh, what's a rape? Is it some kind of fruit? Is it like a grape?"

Vegeta made a flat face at the Kakarot's sheer stupidity. How typical of him to think something so serious was a type of food. Of course, Vegeta shouldn't have been surprised. After all, Bulma had told him one time that Goku married Chi Chi because he thought marriage was a type of food.

"Kakarot, take Yamcha and leave. If you don't I may not be able to stop myself from killing him." Vegeta decided to spare the coward's life for the moment. His supreme annoyance at Kakarot's stupidity had diffused much of his rage. Besides there were things worse than death; he just hadn't found the right one yet. As soon as he did, Yamcha would wish he were dead. Or maybe he should just throw him to Bulma and see what kind of torture she could whip up.

Goku lifted Yamcha up and he and Chi Chi walked toward the door. Before Goku left the room, he turned around. "Bulma, Vegeta, there's something I need to tell you."

"What now?" Bulma moaned.

"You know that boy from the future? The one that warned us of the androids?"

"Ah, yes. The false Saiyan," Vegeta said.

"Uh, yeah. Anyway Bulma, he's your son."

"What? My son? Mine and Vegeta's son?"

"Yep, that's the one. You're carrying him in your tummy right now. Well, see ya." Goku and Chi Chi disappeared with Yamcha, leaving Bulma and Vegeta to process this new chunk of information.

As soon as everyone cleared out, Vegeta crawled onto the bed with Bulma. Bulma clung to Vegeta's chest and sobbed, "Thank you for saving me, Vegeta", not caring the Saiyan Prince didn't like clinginess.

Vegeta wrapped his arm around Bulma. "Hush, woman. That coward will never touch you again if he knows what's good for him."

Bulma and Vegeta lay on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms, until Bulma felt like talking. "So…we were right."

"About the brat, you mean."

"I can't believe we hit the nail right on the head, yet dismissed it so easily."

"I would've laughed anyone out of the universe if they told me I was ever going to be a father. Now I'll be one in half a year."

"If anyone had told me when that boy arrived that he was our son, I would've admitted them to the psych ward. But now that I'm actually going to have him, I believe it."

"So the fake Saiyan isn't so fake after all. I can see where he got his Super Saiyan power from. Takes just after his father."

"Egotistical as always, I see."

"He could've done without the purple, though. Why'd his mother have to give him such a feminine color?"

Bulma slapped Vegeta's arm. "Hey, that's my son you're talking about! He has to have some of me in him."

"The blue eyes are more than enough. He should have black hair, like his father. Black is much more manly than…" Vegeta wrinkled his nose, "purple. Lavender at that."

"Whatever. My little boy is going to be perfect and you know it."

"And a Super Saiyan. I won't let anyone ruin him like Kakarot's woman did to Gohan."

"My, aren't we the family man now."

Vegeta snorted. "I just don't want the next Prince of Saiyans to be corrupted by Earthlings, that's all."

"Whatever. I know you care for your son. So…what happens now?"

"Hm?"

"The wedding. We are getting married, right? His Royal Highness proclaimed it so himself."

"I know of this planet, called Cleyra, where all the religious leaders hid out from Frieza during his reign. We'll go there and find a minister to deliver the appropriate ceremony."

"Meaning just sign papers."

"Actually, I had something more Saiyan in mind."

"Which will invariably involve some kind of hunting or fighting."

Vegeta's eyes widened.

"Don't act so surprised. I watch Animal Planet. I know how deer and wildcats operate. I imagine Saiyans operate the same way. Well guess what? I am not being hunted down like your prey or fought over like some prize, so you can forget about that."

"Oh, so you'd rather dress up in silly Earthling frou-frou and invite the whole world instead? Don't forget, we just alienated the rest of the Human race not even an hour ago, so all that lace will do you no good."

"Oh? So what do you suggest, Mr.-My-Way-Or-The-Highway? A drive through in Vegas?"

"The planet Cleyra holds many clergy from all walks of life. We'll wait and see what they have there."

Bulma gave Vegeta a soft kiss. "Sounds like a plan to me."

"A definite plan. Now what's say we rehearse for the honeymoon?"

"I'd like that." Bulma pulled Vegeta down and Vegeta proceeded to drive any lingering thoughts of Yamcha's attempt out of her mind.

*************************************************************** *

It took approximately two weeks to reach to the solar system that held Planet Cleyra. Not once during the whole trip did Vegeta leave Bulma's side, except when she demanded privacy under threat of making Vegeta sleep in the Gravity Room, and even then, he stood guard at her door, making sure no one got within a foot of her. A few days after Yamcha's attempt, Vegeta strongly advised Bulma to carry a weapon or three on her at all times, just in case anyone tried to come after her.

Bulma was working on some doodad she had built to keep busy on the long journey, and had just decided to upgrade it for the fifteenth time. She looked behind her and saw Vegeta leaning on one of her desks, sound asleep. She tiptoed her way out of the lab, being careful not to wake Vegeta up, and made her way to the cargo hold.

When Bulma opened the door to the cargo hold, she heard what sounded like a huge rat scampering about. She turned on the light and aimed her gun at the source of the sound. She inched her way closer to the source, preparing herself for an ambush by the filthy rodent. Right as she reached the boxes where the creature hid, a tall man popped out right in front of her, earning an ear-splitting shriek from Bulma.

"I thought I smelled a rat. What are you doing here, Yamcha? You better say Goku left you because if he didn't I'll shoot where it counts most." Bulma shoved her gun up Yamcha's nose.

"No no no, please don't shoot! I'm unarmed, see?" Yamcha raised his arms to show he carried no weapons.

"Unarmed my foot. You don't need any weapons to do what you tried to do two weeks ago. Now remove yourself from my sight or I'll shoot."

"Please Bulma, can't we work this out? Please?"

"No you can't. Now how did you get on my ship?"

"I couldn't just stand by and watch you ruin your life, Bulma. I love you too much for that."

"And yet you prance around with all those girls."

"I have needs, too. Do you know how embarrassing it was to be afraid of every pretty girl I've come across? Do you know how hard it was not being able to get a girl because Master Roshi was grinding me to the bone? Bulma, I have missed out on too much for too long and I'm only trying to make up for lost time. That doesn't mean I don't love you, or I don't want to raise a family with you. It just means I have to go out and experience stuff before I settle down."

"Yamcha, you're thirty years old. You've had ten years to experience things. You should've grown up by now. Instead you're still just a little kid looking for the next big party."

"Let me guess, Vegeta is Mr. Maturity?"

"Compared to you, he is."

"Have you ever heard those tantrums of his before? They would put a two year old to shame!"

"First of all, I have lived with the man for almost two years, and he does not sound like that. Second of all, we're discussing you, not Vegeta."

"Vegeta fits in perfectly. If it wasn't for him, we'd be married and have a couple of kids by now."

"No we wouldn't."

Yamcha's mouth hung open.

"Yamcha, we were deteriorating before Vegeta ever came to Earth. We were bound to break up no matter what. Vegeta just gave me another option besides loneliness."

"Bulma, you could've had any man you wanted. Why Vegeta? Why did you choose him above everyone else? Why him? "

"I don't have to justify anything to you, Yamcha. Not anymore. Now get off this ship before I shoot you dead." Bulma gave Yamcha an evil smirk, not unlike the one Vegeta usually gave. "Or maybe I should just call Vegeta and see what he can whip up." Bulma took in a lungful of air and prepared to scream out Vegeta's name.

Yamcha clamped a hand over Bulma's mouth. "No don't! Don't call him! I don't wanna die."

Bulma removed Yamcha's hand. "Then get off this ship."

"Not without you."

"Fine then. VE-"

Yamcha clamped his hand over Bulma's mouth again. "Nononono! Don't! Please don't call him! I'll do anything! Anything!"

Bulma removed Yamcha's hand and smirked again. "Anything?"

"Anything."

"Then you'll do exactly as I say. When we get to Planet Cleyra, you'll hide out here and not make a peep until I tell you to. I'll tell you exactly what to do after that. You're going to walk me down the aisle."

Yamcha sighed in relief. "Is that all? For a minute there I thought you were going to stuff me in a meat grinder or something."

"As long as you follow my instructions to the letter, Vegeta will never find out you're here until the wedding."

"How do I know he won't kill me then?"

"I'll take care of that. You just do as I say." Bulma walked to the door of the cargo hold. "Remember, not a peep. We don't want to wake Vegeta up, now do we?" Bulma reminded Yamcha as she walked out.

Bulma returned to her lab only to remember she never got the upgrade parts. She looked around and saw Vegeta had disappeared without a trace. Frustrated with the doodad and Yamcha, she went to bed early that night.

*************************************************************** *

The planet Cleyra was bustling with activity. Merchants were selling charms on every corner of the street, carolers were singing praises to their particular religions, and worshippers prayed at temples of every size, shape, and faith anyone could think of. It was enough to make Bulma want to run and hide. She told Vegeta, "I don't know if you know this, but I can't stand crowds."

Vegeta smirked. "That makes two of us."

"Then let's hurry up and find what we're looking for.

They maneuvered their way through the huge crowd, past the temples and the statues-and saw something they thought they would never see in their lifetimes. In a neat little formation, ministers were selling their particular wedding packages to anyone who signed up. Bulma and Vegeta browsed the stands to see what the merchants had to offer. They walked by, rejecting all of them for either being too barbaric, too frilly, too lovey-dovey, too quick, whatever one or the other could think of.

Bulma and Vegeta were just about to give up and elope on some far away planet when they saw It: the wedding booth of their dreams. The sign boasted a fully customizable wedding ceremony, right down to the smallest lace. They went in to investigate.

As soon as they walked through the curtain, an enterprising young green reptile rushed up to them. "So, what can I do for the lovely Miss and her husband-to-be?" he offered.

"What sort of scam are you running?" Vegeta asked. In Vegeta's eyes, if it seemed too good to be true, there was usually some heavy strings attached, and he wanted to expose them.

"Scam? I'm not running a scam. I'm not selling your souls to the Devil or anything."

Vegeta pushed the reptile up against the wall. "That may be true, but there's a heavy price attached to this sort of deal, and the Prince of Saiyans does not get played for a fool. So, spill it."

Bulma attempted to break the tension. "Oh hush, Vegeta. Whatever it is, I can handle it." she scolded. She turned to the lizard man and said, "You'll have to excuse him. He hasn't had his saucer of milk this morning."

Vegeta shouted, "I resent that remark! I am not that tumor that loafs on your father's shoulder day after day!"

"Excuse me, but that tumor is our cat!"

Vegeta crossed his arms. "Whatever. It's still annoying."

Bulma tuned Vegeta out and asked the lizard, "So, what's your name? I very well can't do business with you if I don't know your name."

"My name? Uh…Greco."

"Well, Mr. Greco, what can you offer us?"

Greco cleared his throat and let the pair to a round table to discuss their package. "Well, like I said, my package is fully customizable, from the vows all the way down to the wedding cake."

"Do tell," Vegeta said. "I want to see if this deal's as good as you say it is."

"Very well, let's get started." Greco pulled out a yellow notepad to jot down his notes. "First of all, the vows. I have a wide assortment of wedding vows, suitable for both a man and a woman." He handed the papers to Bulma.

Bulna looked over them, then nodded her head. "All of them sound so fake." She passed the papers to Vegeta.

Vegeta gave the papers a thorough looking over. "You'd have to shoot me a million times over before I'll say any of this!"

Greco took the papers back. "So, no prepared vows for you?"

"Give the man a prize," Vegeta growled.

"Very well, so you'd like to write your own vows." He scribbled on the paper. "Let's see, what's next? Ah, yes. Rings."

"No rings," Vegeta said.

"Bu-but you have to have some kind of jewelry to give your loved one. Something to exchange."

Vegeta thought for a minute. "Crests. We'll tattoo crests on each other's arms."

"Vegeta, have you lost your mind?!" Bulma ranted, "I don't want to mar my beautiful skin with such a hideous, permanent thing!"

"Then we'll use that temporary stuff…I think you call it 'henna'."

"What's so special about a couple of tattoos, anyways?"

"It is royal custom. The Crown Prince of Vegetasei, always named Vegeta, is required to marry within his own species, and then he is restricted to noble Houses. However, should he have brothers and sisters, they are allowed to marry into the Royal Houses of other planets, thereby expanding the kingdom. When a sibling of Vegeta marries alien royalty, they embed the crests of their respective kingdoms somewhere conspicuous on the other's body-usually on the upper arm-to show the two kingdoms are united. So that's what's so special about 'a couple of tattoos'."

Bulma was dumbfounded. "Well, I guess we'll get tattoos, then. But I still want jewelry."

"Fine, as long as it isn't frilly."

"So, tattoos of crests will be the medium of exchange, then?" Greco asked as he scribbled on his pad. "May I make a suggestion? Why don't I simplify the process by preparing the tattoos beforehand? If the young mister would draw them here." He shoved the art pad up to Vegeta's nose.

Vegeta drew and colored the symbols for his royal family and Capsule Corporation and gave the pad back. "This is what they will look like. Get it right, or else."

"Y-yes sir. They will be ready on your wedding day. All you have to do is stick them wherever you want. Now about the wedding wear…"

"I have the perfect one in mind. Yes, the perfect Saiyan uniform." Vegeta described his perfect outfit to the lizard, who scribbled madly on a blank sheet of paper.

After he finished drawing and coloring it, he handed it to Vegeta for his approval. "It this what you had in mind, sir?"<?p>

Vegeta rubbed his chin. "Yes, that's perfect." He handed the drawing to Bulma.

Bulma gaped at the beautifully drawn sketch. "I had no idea Saiyan wear could be so ornate." She had imagined Saiyan wedding garb to be Spartan, more specifically, black jumpsuits for two.

Vegeta leaned back in his chair. "Well, I am Saiyan royalty and Saiyan royalty deserves the best."

"So, that takes care of vows, exchanges, and clothes." Greco checked off the items on his pad. "Now let's address video memorabilia-"

"No!" Bulma and Vegeta shouted in unison. Then Bulma said, "You know what, I think I will have it recorded. And nobody has to see this but us, Vegeta," she said, heading off Vegeta's protest.

"As I was saying," Greco said, "We also need to go over witnesses, wedding music, and the reception."

"No reception for us," Vegeta said.

"Vegeta", Bulma argued, "We need a reception. I need a bouquet throw."

"Then pick out a couple of flowers and throw them."

"You're missing the point. A bouquet throw is where the bride looks away from her crowd of women and tosses the bouquet. Whoever catches it will be next in line to be married."

"As if I care about the marital status of anyone on this planet."

"Well you should, because if you don't I'm sure you're going to care about your honeymoon status."

"Is that a threat?!"

"No, it's a promise! If you do not let me throw the bouquet O Mighty Prince, I promise you will not get any of me during our honeymoon."

"Do you think I am so weak I would cave in under the threat of not getting any?!"

"Yes!"

Bulma and Vegeta glared at each other with their teeth bared for a good five minutes. Vegeta just calmed down out of the blue and said, "Fine. But no party. I don't want millions of strangers gawking at me."

"But we need a crowd to throw the bouquet to."

The lizard sitting across from them cleared his throat again. "May I propose a solution? You, Miss, want to throw the flowers and you, Mister, can't stand parties. So why don't we do this? Why don't I hire a crowd of women to stand around during the ceremony and when the young Missus comes out, they can all gather for the throw. Well?"

Vegeta grunted. "I guess it'll do. Just keep 'em out of my way."

Bulma said, "I guess so, too. At least I get my flower throw."

"Excellent," Greco told the couple. "Now all we have left are the witnesses and the wedding music, and I can easily drag one of the young women from the group to be a witness. So now all that's left is the music."

"I have the perfect song," Bulma told Greco. "I'll be right back. Vegeta, don't kill the poor man while I'm away."

"Well, I'll see what I can do, but my hand might not be able to help itself," Vegeta said.

Bulma glared at Vegeta and walked away.

Approximately ten minutes later, Bulma came back carting her personal CD player and a CD. "Greco," she proposed, "this is a song by a group called Jagged Edge. It's called 'Let's Get Married'. See what you think of it." She played a segment for the lizard to listen to.

"It's a pretty song, but I wonder if the young Mister will agree."

"Oh I agree," Vegeta said, "Anything's better than that 'wedding march'. I don't want my wedding to resemble an Earth wedding."

"Before I total up your bill, would you two be interested in a honeymoon package?" Greco offered.

"No need. I can prepare my own honeymoon," Vegeta told the reptile.

"Well then, I guess we're all done." Greco added up some stuff, then showed Bulma the bill. "It all adds up to 500,000 units, including labor and materials."

"How many zeni is that?" Bulma asked.

Greco got out his Rolodex and started sifting through it. "The young Mister said something about the planet Earth. Is that where you're from?" he asked Bulma.

"Well, I am. Vegeta here is from Vegetasei. In fact, he's its prince."

The lizard's face paled visibly. "You mean he is the Vegeta, Prince of Saiyans, murderer of millions, and Frieza's favorite toy?"

"That is not a way to get on my good side," Vegeta growled. "Are you so stupid as to not know who I am even when I have mentioned my planet and my race?"

"Oh, oh, forgive me, Ouji-sama. It's just I was so…caught up in my work and Vegetsei had been gone for nearly thirty years now, I just didn't pay attention. Please forgive my ignorance."

Vegeta smirked at the pale lizard. "Well, since I am in a good mood, I suppose I'll spare you just this once. But it's going to cost you."

"H-how much?"

"500,000 units."

The white reptile nearly choked on his own spit. "Five hundred thousand units?! But that'll bankrupt me! I'll never be able to work again!"

"You wouldn't like the alternative."

"Wait," Bulma said. "I know how you can pay us. Let us have our wedding for free."

Vegeta told Greco, "That's the lady's final offer. You're just lucky you caught her in a good mood. She's as ruthless as I am."

"Y-yes, gladly. It's on the house." Greco managed to chatter out. "Your wedding will be ready in twelve to fourteen business days."

"That's not good enough," Vegeta said, "See, I may be in a generous mood, but the lady, well, she's on a rather tight schedule. See, she's starting to show already." He pointed to Bulma's barely burgeoning belly.

The poor lizard's eyes widened. "OH, I see what you mean. Seven business days, then. That's the best I can do. Any sooner and the wedding will be incomplete."

Bulma put her hands on her hips and made a narrow face. "Well, I guess I can tolerate it. Let's just hope the little Prince doesn't decide to be born before I get married."

"Good, we've got a deal then," Vegeta told the chattering lizard. "We'll come back here in exactly nine days. Now scurry off before I change my mind."

The tall, white reptile ran off screaming like a little girl.

On the way back to the ship, after Bulma finished laughing herself silly over the frightened little lizard, she asked Vegeta, "'Ouji-sama'? What's up with that? I thought you were a prince."

Vegeta explained, "That is a cultural term. On Vegetasei, the terms Ou and Ouji were used to designate King and Prince, respectively, the same way you might call your leaders President or Dictator or Lord. Sama is a suffix denoting extreme reverence, usually towards deities. When the first Super Saiyan, Vegeta, declared himself king, he demanded everyone treat him like a god. Therefore, he forced everyone to call him Ou-sama. When his son, the second Vegeta, was born, the King forced everyone to call the prince 'Ouji-sama', and that term has been passed down for countless generations. The official title of a prince of Vegetasei is 'Saiyajin no Ouji', which translated in your language, means 'Prince of Saiyans.' And that is your history lesson for today."

"So, what number are you?"

"I don't know. We stopped counting after ten. After Vegeta X, they started bestowing unusual titles to their king's name to reflect his accomplishments or some aspect of his character. For example, there once was a seven-foot-tall King Vegeta. He ended up being known as Vegeta the Tall. Had my planet lived, my father would've been called Vegeta the Traitor because he's the one who sold us out to Frieza."

"Let me guess. You would be called Vegeta the Short." Bulma laughed out loud at her clever joke.

"We'll see how funny it is when people call you Bulma the Loud."

Bulma shut up right then.

"Seriously, I'd probably be known as the second Vegeta the Traitor, because I am about to take an alien to wife."

"How do you think I feel, taking an alien to husband? If anyone in the Corporation besides my parents found out, I'd be laughed out of business." Vegeta and Bulma walked into their ship and Vegeta fiddled with the controls again, then popped out a spacepod.

"Where are you going?" Bulma asked.

"To prepare everything. I've set a course for the nearest urban planet. Don't worry, I'll be back in nine days. See ya." Vegeta jumped in the pod and took off.

"Wait Vegeta, come back here! Do you hear me? I said you're not allowed to leave! Vegeta!!!" Bulma yelled after the spacepod. She slumped against the window. "Why do I bother? He's just impossible."

*************************************************************** *

It didn't take long for the spaceship to arrive at its destination. Bulma locked Yamcha in one of the storage rooms after giving him enough supplies to survive and wandered outside.

She gaped at the sheer size of the city. Never in Bulma's life had she seen a city so big; it seemed to stretch on for eternity and the building were huddled so close and the skyscrapers were so high, Bulma thought she died and went to heaven. Never mind that she hated crowds; there were places to go, strange foods to eat, things to buy. She patted her wad of money, safe in her purse, and went on a shopping spree.

A few hours later Bulma returned to her spaceship, her problems forgotten and her capsules full. She went in and pulled Yamcha out of his prison.

"Whew," Yamcha sighed, "I was getting lonely in there. Thanks."

"Don't thank me. I'm going to train you in your role." Bulma got out assorted tuxedos and lay them on the floor. After much deliberating she finally found the perfect tuxedo. She ushered Yamcha into another room to try it on.

"I look gay in this!" Yamcha griped when he looked in the mirror. "This is so girly!"

"Wear that or nothing at all."

"But why lavender?"

"It's my new favorite color, now wear it."

"Fine. Now what?"

Bulma trained Yamcha in the fine art of walking a woman down the aisle. She taught him everything, from exactly when to come out, to how many steps to take to how fast he should walk. She wanted to make sure Yamcha would be ready for The Big Day.

*************************************************************** *

On the ninth day, Vegeta finally returned to Bulma's spaceship. "What took you so long, you jerk?!" Bulma snapped upon Vegeta's arrival.

"I'll explain later. Right now we have to get back to Cleyra."

As soon as Bulma and Vegeta landed on Cleyra, they darted to the tent where they had made their wedding arrangements. Yamcha followed far behind them, per Bulma's instructions, being careful not to let Vegeta see him. He waited in one of the other booths for Bulma.

Bulma and Vegeta met a huge, blue lizard in the middle of the main room. "Hello, my name is Masto," the reptile greeted them, "I am your clergyman today. I shall be taking Greco's place, due to a severe case of…fright."

Vegeta said, "Whatever. Just get on with it."

"Sure. Right this way." Masto led Bulma and Vegeta to the dressing rooms that separated the front of the tent from the back. "Each of you shall change in the dressing rooms; I have your outfits already in there. Young Mister, you shall exit through the back and walk down the aisle first, then you, Young Miss, shall walk down when the music starts, then we'll proceed with the rest of the ceremony. Understood? Good, now let's get started." Masto shoved the two in the dressing rooms and went to the back room of the tent.

Bulma changed into her wedding dress, then peeked outside the room. When she was sure Vegeta hadn't come out yet, she darted over to the tent where she told Yamcha to go and retrieved him. She pulled him inside her dressing room and hoped Vegeta hadn't seen her.

"Wow, Bulma, you look stunning," Yamcha crooned, looking over her Saiyan armor, accompanied by a long red dress, a black cape, and a gold-and-red armlet. "I wish it were me meeting you at the alter. As for my outfit, I still think it looks gay. Sorry, Bulma, but lavender just isn't my color."

"Deal with it…I hear the music. Come on, Yamcha." Bulma picked up her bouquet and led Yamcha out to the back room, where the ceremony was being held. Yamcha started to whimper as he walked Bulma down the aisle; it had finally hit him that Bulma was actually going through with this. He finally reached the alter and gave Bulma away to Vegeta, donning the male version of Bulma's outfit, then stood next to the other witness.

Masto took his place behind the alter. "Welcome, everyone. We are here today to join these two, Mr. Vegeta and Miss Bulma Briefs, in holy matrimony. As you may know, love often has unexpected beginnings, riddled with highs and lows, twists and turns of all kinds-"

Vegeta gave the lizard an impatient glare.

"Oh, right. Well, let's get on with the vows. Bulma?"

Bulma got shy all of a sudden. "Um…what do I say to a man I'd never thought I'd fall for? We may have started out as revenge against a certain person, but I have come to truly care for you. I don't care if you can't say it, but no matter what happens, Vegeta, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Yamcha whimpered audibly.

Vegeta hesitated a moment before he spoke. "Just great, nine days of rehearsal and I still cannot find the right words to say, so I'll just come out and say it. Bulma, I want you to be my wife, the next Queen of Saiyans, and I promise death to whoever tries to come between us." He glared pointedly at Yamcha.

Bulma felt a little faint and started to fall down. Luckily, Masto caught her in time. "I-is something wrong, madam?"

Bulma regained her senses. "What? No, I just never thought Vegeta would say that, that's all."

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Now let's continue."

Masto took his place behind the alter again. He asked the witness, "Sherri, the crests, please?" She brought the adhesive tattoos to the couple.

Vegeta picked up the tattoo of Vegetasei's royal symbol. "Bulma, the exchange of crests shows our kingdoms are united. I want to show the whole universe that you belong to me, and I, you." He pressed the tattoo against Bulma's upper arm.

"And the same here." Bulma applied the tattoo of Capsule Corporation's logo to Vegeta's arm.

Masto sniffed a little before we went on. "…So beautiful. By the power vested in me by the deities above, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

"Turn around," Vegeta said.

"What?" Masto asked.

"I wish to do this in private, Now you and that witness turn around, and don't look until I say."

Masto and Sherri did as they were told.

Vegeta gave Bulma a deep, long kiss, and both of them heard loud whimpers from Yamcha, who looked like he was about to cry. When he and Bulma were done, Vegeta told Masto and the witness to turn back around.

Masto sniffled again. "That was so beautiful. I had no idea Saiyans could be so…so…"

"Don't rub it in," Vegeta said, "Now where are the papers?"

"Oh, right here." Masto pulled out a small stack of papers from behind the alter. "Might I add that by completing these, your marriage will be recognized throughout most of the former Cold Empire."

"Except?" Bulma asked.

"Well, there is a small list of planets that refuse to recognize anything under the former Cold Empire. I believe your planet, Earth, is one of them."

"Oh well, as long as Vegeta and I know we're married, who cares what the rest of the world thinks?"

After Vegeta and Bulma filled out the papers and Bulma did her bouquet throw, Yamcha finally confronted the two. "Well I hope you're happy with your lives…because I'm not." Yamcha tried his hardest not to cry in front of Vegeta. "Vegeta, I hope you have a hundred children and die a miserable death!" He ran off for his spacepod before he could break down in front to Vegeta and Bulma.

*************************************************************** *

"So why didn't you try to kill Yamcha?" Bulma asked Vegeta once they were back on the ship.

Vegeta leaned back in the pilot's seat. "Because I knew all this time he was here."

Bulma almost fell out of her seat. "You WHAT?! You knew all this time, and you never told me? What kind of moron would do something like that?"

"The kind of moron who thought you could torture him better."

"Oh really? Well you're more of a fool-" Bulma finally processed Vegeta's reply. "OH, well I am the mistress of pain," she boasted.

"Did you make that up just five minutes ago?"

"…Oh shut up," Bulma said defensively, "You're just jealous you didn't come up with it first." Her eyes wandered over to the widow beside her and saw a lush, green planet. "Wow, Vegeta, that's beautiful. Are we going there?"

"Yes. That's our honeymoon spot. I made sure the planet was completely deserted. We'll be there in a few hours. I'd rest up if I were you; it's gonna be a long night." Vegeta went off in search of something to eat.

*************************************************************** *

Bulma gaped at all the greenery that adorned the surface as Vegeta lead her to what he called their honeymoon spot. Never in her life has she seen so much foliage in one place, not even in her father's conservatory, and that was saying a lot.

"Will you stop gawking at the plants?" Vegeta scolded. "You do want to get there by midnight, don't you?"

"Oh..oh, right, of course I do. Let's go." Bulma hurried behind Vegeta. She was just as eager to reach this 'honeymoon spot' as Vegeta was.

Bulma gaped once again when she and Vegeta reached their destination. It was a large cave adorned with a huge animal-skin throw on the ground, torches lined up on the walls, and even a large food box way in the back in case either one got hungry. "Wow, did you do all this, Vegeta?"

"Silly woman, this is where I was all this time. I was getting this place ready….and rehearsing my vows, and readying our residence," he added in a small voice. "But enough of that. Let's finish what we started."

"Gladly," Bulma said, "I've been dying to get out of this armor." She slipped off her armor and initiated what would turn out to be an utterly exhausting night for the two newlyweds.

*************************************************************** *

Bulma woke up sometime the next day, wrapped in Vegeta's arms. She looked back at her new husband and grinned wickedly upon remembering what they had done last night. To Bulma, that had been the best lovemaking she had experienced in a good while. The fact that she was now married to her lover hadn't exactly hurt matters, either. She absently ran her fingers over her neck, and froze when she felt something weird. She outlined it and then screamed when she realized what the strange mark was.

"What is it, woman?" Vegeta asked sleepily, "Go back to sleep."

Bulma frantically shook Vegeta awake. "No I will not go back to sleep! I want you to explain what in Kai's name you did to me! I thought we agreed no animal stuff!"

"As I remember, you only protested 'not being hunted down like prey and fought over like some prize'. You never protested biting."

"Animal stuff, Vegeta!" Bulma argued, "A-ni-mal! Biting is what animals do!"

"No, biting is what Saiyans do!"

"Same difference!"

"I wouldn't talk. Look what you did to me." Vegeta pointed to the bite mark on his neck.

Bulma's eyes widened in shock as she realized what she had done to Vegeta. "Y-you mean…I…?"

"Yes. If you're that worried about it, they'll heal in a few months. After all, they're only symbolic of the bond, not the bond itself."

"Come again?" Bulma asked, stupefied, "What bond?"

"Look, when a Saiyan bonds with another Saiyan, they share a connection that is deeper than any Earthling notion of marriage can achieve. They can feel each other's emotions and sense when something is terribly wrong with the other. With practice they can even read each other's minds; 'talk telepathically' if you will."

"And this has to do with biting how?"

"Just hold on, I'm getting there! As I was saying, biting each other on the neck shows the world that two Saiyans are bonded."

"Why don't they just marry?"

"Royalty did. The lower classes didn't believe in marriage and would take anyone they wanted at the moment, so physical proof was needed to ward off outsiders. That's where the bite mark came in. Without it, a Saiyan could not prove he or she was bonded to another, and therefore was free for the taking. Like I said, the bite mark heals in a few months, but some mates mark each other over and over again to ward off blockheads too dumb to get a clue." Vegeta went to the back of the cave and pulled out some food.

"Whoa, that's barbaric."

Vegeta came back and started eating. "As you may know, the urge to fight is a Saiyan's biggest urge. It is hardwired into our blood. The urge to mate comes in a close second." He handed Bulma some food.

"That sounds like a certain other man I know."

"Yes, he is like a Saiyan in that regard."

"So…did you…give in to that urge?"

"When your master is Frieza, you would have to be made of iron to even think about such a thing. I'm lucky Frieza didn't turn me off to the idea entirely."

"But I thought…you told me…what about Raditz and Nappa…and all their women?"

Vegeta closed his eyes. "They were not me. They were not Frieza's toy." He hesitated before he went on. "He did not scar them like he scarred me."

Bulma's eyes widened as she realized what Vegeta had implied. "Oh, I'm…I'm so sorry. So that's what you meant by Yamcha knowing nothing of your childhood. I…didn't know."

"I do not wish to talk about it again, and you will not tell anyone else about it, got that?" Vegeta opened his eyes again and changed the subject. "Now…about our future…"

"…Huh, what?...Oh, right. Our future. What of it?"

"We're going back to Earth when the androids arrive. I wanna fight them."

"No duh, short stuff, of course we're going back. I'm having my baby on Earth."

Vegeta's eyes widened. "Y-you are? But why would you?"

"Because I want to, you have a problem with that? And besides, I'm sure everything'll be patched up in six months."

"I see…still as brainless as ever."

"Whatever. You're just jealous I have friends on Earth and you don't." Bulma stuck her tongue out at Vegeta.

"Whatever. The Almighty Prince of Saiyans does not need friends."

"Everyone needs friends and you know it," Bulma smirked.

Bulma and Vegeta finished their breakfast in silence, then Vegeta said, "Our new residence is ready."

"What? What new residence?"

"I'll show you." Bulma and Vegeta got dressed, then Vegeta led Bulma a good distance through the jungle to a clearing on a cliff above the forest. He pointed to a small house near the edge.

"Wow. Did you do all this yourself?"

"Naw, the Santa Claus sent it down my chimney, of course I built it."

"Well, I'm impressed. Is there anything else you're hiding?"

"Yes. My grandmother is really a man and I can turn into a pink tap-dancing Oozaru."

Bulma glared up at him. "Ha ha, Very funny."

"I thought it was hilarious. Now let's move ourselves in." Vegeta landed in front of the house and put Bulma down.

"Just a minute." Bulma pulled out a little remote from one of her boots. She grinned wildly. "I can just transport the ship here. I designed it to where I can call it from anyplace, anytime, as long as I have this little doodad. I bet you're sorry for calling me brainless now, ain'cha?" Bulma let out an egotistical laugh. She summoned her spaceship and started furnishing the house she and Vegeta stayed in for the duration of her pregnancy.

--------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------

Author's notes: First of all, the terms ou and ouji and the suffix -sama really do exist in the Japanese language, and they mean exactly the same thing in Japanese as Vegeta says they mean in Saiyan. I just decided to use Japanese as a base for the Saiyan language.

Second of all, in case you were wondering how seven business days stretched into nine, a business day does not include weekends. I assumed Vegeta and Bulma planed their wedding at the beginning of the workweek and Vegeta allowed for a weekend.

And finally, I got the pink tap-dancing Oozaru from Lisalu's Red Dragon interlude, Atlas' Burden. I found the image so amusing I had to use it in my story.