Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Quest ❯ Frustration ( Chapter 29 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: pixelgoddess 
An emotionally distraught learns what the Rouba meant about mating. How will Vegeta reach his goal?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Angst / Shounen | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.16.2005 | Updated On: 04.17.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress
An emotionally distraught learns what the Rouba meant about mating. How will Vegeta reach his goal?
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Angst / Shounen | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.16.2005 | Updated On: 04.17.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress
Quest
Sequel to Maintaining
By Pixelgoddess
Summary: Maintaining sequel. Frieza has caused some incredible issues for the Saiyans to overcome, but they are trying. What will it take for them to finally become mates? Yaoi, Yuri. Goku x Vegeta, Chichi x Rezu (OC)
Disclaimer: If I owned it, don’t you think there would have been more decent girls to write about?
Warnings: *snickers* Whaddya got? Sex. Rape and it’s aftermath. Violence. Bad words. Gay marriage. Krillin-bashing. Dyke Chichi. Straight Gohan. Confused Dende. Smart-ass Piccolo. I think that covers it for now.
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Chapter 29 - Frustration
“You can’t become mates,” Rouba said sadly, shaking her head, beads and bones rattling.
“That’s not possible,” Vegeta protested, disbelieving.
“Not yet, little one. You aren’t ready,” she said gently.
“But…but the bond. We’re already bonded,” he leapt to his feet and paced, tail thrashing in frustration. No, no, no. Not this. Anything but this. Rouba had to be wrong.
“I know you are bonded. It is very powerful and quite unusual. I’ve never felt one like it before.”
“Then why? Please Rouba why?” He heard himself pleading, but couldn’t stop. How could she refuse them?
“I didn’t say you never could, cub I said you weren’t ready now,” she said patiently.
“Tell me what to do. I’ll do it. Anything. You don’t understand. I I need Kakorr.” His voice cracked as frustration welled up in him. They had come so far gone through so much.
“Sit down, child. You are heating the sand.” She purred as he sat down on the bench beside her and coiled her tail around his wrist.
He could sense her smoky eyes on him, feeling his heart shred. He could only watch silently as she rose, moving around the room. He remembered that sound the music of her humming and purrs mixed with the clicking sound of her hair and tail swaying.
“Here, little one,” she said, settling back down beside him, holding out a bowl. She caressed his cheek with her tail. “It isn’t hopeless, cub. You can do this, but you must have patience.”
Vegeta took it and inhaled the scent, dizzy at the memories it brought back. The liquid was hot, sweet and thick a treat Rouba had given him as a child when he excelled at his lessons.
“Listen to me cub - I can feel how much you want to be mated. I want you to be mated as well.” Rouba shook her head sadly. “But you are still too afraid. Your past has made it difficult for you to trust others.”
He hung his head in shame. Not even Rouba’s arm around his shoulders and her crooning purr were enough to comfort him. “You know everything, don’t you? What I’ve done”
“Hush, cub. I saw what you had to do to survive. I am sorry you had to go through that, but that wasn’t the real you. Once you were freed, you changed. You did it yourself, cub it has been a difficult and painful struggle, but you have made me proud.”
Vegeta looked at her, fighting to hold back the threatening tears. Rouba was… proud? Of him? After everything he had done?
She laughed softly, rubbing his back. “Of course I am proud, little one. You have accomplished so much and become an honorable man. It pleases me to know I will have a hand in teaching a Legendary.”
Vegeta smiled to himself, embarrassed at her praise. He let her hold him, remembering the vibration of her purrs. He could feel her ki wrapping around him and it was as if he was a child again warm and safe in Rouba’s den. He didn’t even realize he was playing with the coin until she rumbled a laugh.
“It’s too bad your Kakarott doesn’t have longer hair, hmm?”
He blushed and released the coin as if it burned. What in the hell was wrong with him? He wasn’t a child he was here so he could mate with Kakorr.
Rouba released him and turned to smile at him affectionately. “It’s alright, cub. Scent often triggers memories some are so strong we must act on them. There is nothing wrong with wanting to return to the warmth and safety of the den sometimes.”
He set aside the bowl only half finished. It was time to be an adult again even if he found it more difficult than he would have imagined. The urge to cling to her like a child kept over-riding logic.
“Why can’t we mate yet Rouba? I do trust Kakorr.”
“You trust him here,” she said, tapping on his forehead. “But even though you have tried, you don’t totally trust him here.” She placed a warm hand on his chest, over his heart.
How could she say something like that? He had given himself to Kakorr when he was weak and nearly helpless. He knew then Kakorr would never hurt him. If he trusted him then, why wouldn’t he now? “But I do,” he protested. “I let”
“Exactly, cub. You let. It is always your games, your rules, your limits.” She frowned, tail absently flicking. “He didn’t know anything about the biyaku, did he?” she finally asked.
“No,” he said hesitantly.
“You felt his fear when the blood began to affect him. Why did he let you continue?”
He frowned. She was almost making it sound like he had done something bad. “He knew I would never hurt him.”
She nodded, bones clicking. “You did nothing wrong. You used his trust to make him stronger. Your Kakarott believes in you.” Rouba sighed. “But you don’t always display the same faith. You say you trust him, and you believe it, but you don’t truly know it deep inside.” She brushed her fingers over his forehead, “Sometimes you let fear overpower trust.”
“You keep saying I’m afraid, but that isn’t possible. You have seen how strong I am. What do I have to fear?”
“Fear has done many things for you, cub. It has made you weak and kept you strong. It has cost lives and saved others. You have used it and battled it. But now it is an obstacle. The fear you still feel with your Kakarott is keeping you from mating.”
He shook his head, trying in vain to comprehend what she had told him. How could he be afraid of Kakorr? They loved each other. He did trust him…didn’t he? “What should I do, Rouba?”
She smiled sadly. “I cannot solve this puzzle for you you must do it yourself. When you know the answer you must prove it to yourself, cub and to him.”
“This will be difficult for you little one. It touches on fears you have not yet faced. I believe in you, cub you can do this. Until you do, you cannot mate.”
Vegeta felt his heart break. They couldn’t mate and it was his fault.
“But how do we mate? Even if I do figure out what to do, we still won’t be able to. I don’t know how.” He pleaded, no longer able to hide his distress. “Please, Rouba. Tell me. Help me. Please.”
“I’m sorry cub. I have helped you all I can. You will know the method when the time is right. This is something you must do on your own. You will find it difficult, but I have faith in you you can earn this. If it is worth having, you will pay the price.”
----------------
Goku flew up to the entrance of the den, not really sure what to expect. The longer he was with Sakka the more he became convinced the Roubas knew their entire history. The boy kept asking leading questions, obviously already aware of the answer. They had talked about his time with Vegeta, and how he felt about bonding and mating.
He had known the instant Rouba told Vegeta they would have to wait. The anguish he felt coming from him was barely controlled. Vegeta wanted this so much maybe even more than he did, if that was possible - and to be told they couldn’t mate yet was traumatic for his prince.
He entered, eyes adjusting from the brilliance of the burning suns to the relaxing dimness of the den. Vegeta was standing close to Rouba, tail brushing her arm, not resisting as she stroked his hair. Goku could hear the purr of her voice as she comforted his prince.
“This is for you, cub,” she said, handing Vegeta a duplicate of the coin in her hair. “Remember the price.”
He took it, slipping the cord it hung on over his head. “This is your hair,” Vegeta said, surprised.
“Of course it is, cub,” she smiled. “Don’t forget me.”
“Rouba…” Vegeta whispered.
“I know, little one. I will remember you.”
Vegeta turned quickly, nearly walking into Goku standing by the door. He wanted to sweep his prince up in his arms, shielding him from the pain this reunion had caused. He looked so lost.
::Vegeta…::
::I’m supposed to see Sakka…:: Vegeta said sadly, heading for the entrance. ::Rouba wants to talk to you now.::
“Come here my little shadow,” Rouba said, taking Goku by the arm and guiding him to the bench. He wondered what kind of person she was to so blithely accept the strangeness of the situation.
He hadn’t paid attention before, but now he saw the Rouba was wearing something like shredded skins, trimmed with bells and beads. When she moved he could see flashes of tattooed skin and he wondered if all Roubas were like her.
She laughed out loud, bells chiming. “No, shadow, we are not a matched set. You should have been one yourself you have the touch.”
Goku shrugged absently. He was too busy trying unsuccessfully to comfort Vegeta through their bond. “You upset him,” he said, accusingly. Vegeta had been trying so hard to get through this and Rouba’s words had nearly shattered his control.
“I know,” she said, sitting across from him, tail clicking.
He looked at the floor, suddenly too embarrassed to meet her steel gaze. “Sakka said I had to…”
“Are you saying you’ve never wanted to?” she asked, nearly smirking.
“Well…yeah but not like that. It doesn’t seem right somehow.”
“But you would let him do it to you; you would even enjoy it.”
He made an embarrassed grin. “Yeah, I guess so. But stuff like that reminds him of bad things that happened growing up.”
“Shadow…everything reminds him of his past. He has dealt with much of it with your help and that of his former lover. This wound goes deeper. You weren’t the one who harmed him,” she said gently. “And you won’t be hurting him now. Instead you will be helping him heal.”
“But do I have to do all of it? Isn’t there another way?”
She shook her head, bones clicking. “No child. This isn’t only for his benefit. This is necessary for you as well. You are much too passive with him you must assert yourself sometimes.”
“That’s not true. I’m not…” Passive? The way he trained?
“There is nothing wrong with loving him the way you do. But the day he was truly freed you both changed. You fell to your knees before him and have never risen again.”
“But he’s my”
“He is your lover and you are his equal. Roles in a bond constantly shift based on needs and moods, but you are in danger of locking yourself into one of submission.”
“I just…I don’t like to upset him.” It was true, he was letting Vegeta guide things more lately. He had never thought it was a problem, but he saw how it could become a habit.
“Don’t you think he would be more upset if you weren’t true to yourself?”
He frowned. He had hidden himself so much from his human friends, not wanting to scare them. He hadn’t realized he was doing the same thing to Vegeta.
“Don’t worry about that, shadow. Now that you know, you can change.”
“So you’re saying the only think keeping us from mating is”
“His fear and your reaction to it. You add to it without realizing what you are doing. Because of your concerns about hurting him even by accident you hold yourself back. Don’t you realize he picks that up through the bond? If you are afraid, subconsciously he wonders if perhaps he has cause to be as well.”
He sighed. “I never thought it would be so difficult.”
She chuckled. “Of course it is difficult. If it weren’t, people would be biting and mating with each other all over the place.”
“Will doing it really help?”
She laughed suddenly. “Honestly Kakarott, you would think I was asking you to kill him. To many, what I am asking is play. Someday it will be for the two of you as well. It is only your knowledge of his prior life that is making you hesitate. Do this for him and you will heal a great wound in his soul.”
He stared at her, newly confident as his decision was made. “I can do anything if it will help him.”
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Goku finished the bowl of hot, thick, spiced liquid while as the Rouba wrote and sketched on a roll of leather beaten thin. She told him between chants and croons under her breath they had paper, but scrolls like this were used for special occasions.
Sakka had joined them Vegeta had demanded to be left alone, threatening the Rouya. Goku was worried about him, but his prince just wanted some privacy. Still, he kept touching Vegeta through the bond, reassuring him.
Goku shook his head. “I don’t think this has really hit me yet. He is stunned and in pain. He has wanted this most of his life ever since he read that fairytale.” He blushed as he realized he had revealed one of Vegeta’s secrets.”
Sakka grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I write them myself. Gives me something to do when I’m waiting for the babies to be ready to be born.
Rouba chuckled to herself as she drew another figure, “Sakka, you should be doing this part. You draw much better than I.”
“I don’t know how I am going to memorize all of this in the little bit of time we have left here.” She had filled the scroll with tiny symbols and great flourishes. She hadn’t even let him read all of it yet. How would he memorize all of this in the next few hours?
She held up a thin roll of paper. “Sakka, you are giving them one of your drawings?” When the Rouya nodded, she slipped it in the sleeve. “You don’t have to memorize it,” she said to Goku. “You will be taking this with you.”
Goku opened his mouth to protest to explain but she held up her hand to stop him.
“Trust me on this, shadow. You are more real here than you imagine. You have substance.”
Goku considered this. That wasn’t what Dende had said, but Rouba seemed to be able to see around corners he didn’t know even existed. “So he’ll be able to keep the coin you gave him?” he asked hopefully. That had been bothering him. He knew now how much Rouba meant to Vegeta. Goku had already been thinking about how hard Vegeta would take losing her gift when they left.
“I would not have given it to him otherwise, child. That would have been too cruel.” She sprinkled an herb-scented powder over the scroll and began to roll it up. “Are you sure you will be able to shield this knowledge from him?”
“I think so,” he said slowly. He never had the mental control Vegeta did, so he wasn’t sure. “I still don’t really understand why you don’t want V- K- him to know I have this.”
Sakka laughed. “You might as well use his name. It’s making you sound kind of spastic. You keep forgetting the name you gave and you keep almost saying his real name.”
Goku hesitated. Should he? He really did feel like he could trust these two even though he’d been betrayed so much lately. “Vegeta. But why can’t I tell him about the scroll?”
“I want my cub to face his fear for the right reasons. If he is only doing it so he can be mated, he is missing the point. This must be done for both of your sakes. If he knows about this,” she held up the roll, “then his goal would only be mating, not healing.”
“It’s all about control and dominance,” Sakka said. “Until he is willing to give up control to you sometimes, you aren’t going to be able to mate.”
Goku scratched his scar and smiled sheepishly. “You know, for someone who says they want us to be mates, you two make things very difficult.”
Sakka leaned back against the wall. “There is a reason why this information isn’t put in books most people can get to. Even when you think you are ready, you’re not. There would be bad bonds all over the place by starry-eyed couples that think they are ready to be together forever.”
Rouba frowned and tapped the roll thoughtfully. “I want you to be mated. I don’t like this bond of yours. It tastes like sand.”
Goku looked at her in shock. The bond was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.
“I know you are happy being bonded, and you two would have done so on your own eventually. But this bond…it was forced on you. It is the result of a foiled plot and was created by the unnatural magic of your enemies. I fear they will find a way to use it against you. The sooner you are mated and this bond is overridden, the better.”
TBC
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*Wonders what happened to kitten... Haven't heard from her lately. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.*
Redtatsu - Thanks. *g* I try.
Webtester - Nail is a pain in the ass. Poor Piccolo. Hope some of your questions about mating are answered in this chapter.
Macha - I see Rouba as a cross between a grandmother and a teacher.(I wish I had someone like that, but sadly, she only exists in my head.) Vegeta would never have allowed anyone else to get that close - but because it was her, someone who will care/does care about him will help. The swap is fun to play with. Krillin... well, let's just say he is a jackass and leave it at that for now. Yeah, Gohan just keeps getting traumatized. But you've got to ask yourself - will he be even more traumatized when he sees what Goku is wearing now. *g*
suisheu - Short skirt? Isn't that the whole idea? There is now the potential for an alternate future, similar to what happened to Mirai Trunks, but honestly, I don't think I'm going to touch on it now. What are the Kais up to? Wait and see.........
Enya - Nice thwacking there. Oh, I would finish no matter what - I'm sorry if I made it sound like I would withhold chapters. I would never do that. I was just kind of stuck and very bummed about it. But I'm unstuck now. *g* Yes, Nail has a great deal of appreciation for good looking bodies - if he regrets anything about fusing with Piccolo it has to be the lack of sex.
nuthouse - Awww - don't feel guilty. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. And the next update should be sooner.
fyrbyrd - You didn't fall off the cliff, did you? I think it is almost time for my Nail/Piccolo one-shot, don't you?
PrincessKoriandr - I have plans for Krillin. As a matter of fact, that entire chapter is in my head.
Schwarzwald - Well...I was mean. They can't be mates yet. I promise - they will be mates eventually. Promise.
Sokushitsu - I have been told this is one of my cruelest cliff-hangers. :) Goku is fun when he is pissed - especially when he is pissed at Vegeta for not being pissed. My Piccolo says bastard quite a bit, doesn't he?
Goheh - I just wish I could be as nice as Rouba. Or had one. Or something. But she gets away with treating Vegeta like a child, and he lets himself act like one to an extent. Did you blow up your lab? *g* See - I fixed it up nice in this chapter. Goku knows, okay?
Galaxy-of-cinders - *Squawk* *chuckles* A 1993 Vegeta UFO catcher? Huh? *Hands her a Chuquita-esque Vegeta plushie* Here - hug this.
scissorshavefeelings - !!!!!!!!!!!!!! *g*
the-ev - Don't worry too much. They will become mates. Promise.
Elenek - *hands box of tissues* Yes, Vegeta has a lot to be upset about.
debbiechan - I love tormenting Piccolo. I don't always like the stories where they end up being mated without effort or consequences.
Yuki Eiri - *catches and puts back in her chair* Glad you like it.
LadyKATT - Not a typo - but this chapter should clarify some things.
Vernalla - I made you cry? *cries tears of happiness* Things are going to get even more emotional, I think. Rouba is the primary source of Vegeta associating hair with safety and comfort - which is one of the reasons Radditz could make him feel safe, even on Frieza's ship.
Sequel to Maintaining
By Pixelgoddess
Summary: Maintaining sequel. Frieza has caused some incredible issues for the Saiyans to overcome, but they are trying. What will it take for them to finally become mates? Yaoi, Yuri. Goku x Vegeta, Chichi x Rezu (OC)
Disclaimer: If I owned it, don’t you think there would have been more decent girls to write about?
Warnings: *snickers* Whaddya got? Sex. Rape and it’s aftermath. Violence. Bad words. Gay marriage. Krillin-bashing. Dyke Chichi. Straight Gohan. Confused Dende. Smart-ass Piccolo. I think that covers it for now.
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Chapter 29 - Frustration
“You can’t become mates,” Rouba said sadly, shaking her head, beads and bones rattling.
“That’s not possible,” Vegeta protested, disbelieving.
“Not yet, little one. You aren’t ready,” she said gently.
“But…but the bond. We’re already bonded,” he leapt to his feet and paced, tail thrashing in frustration. No, no, no. Not this. Anything but this. Rouba had to be wrong.
“I know you are bonded. It is very powerful and quite unusual. I’ve never felt one like it before.”
“Then why? Please Rouba why?” He heard himself pleading, but couldn’t stop. How could she refuse them?
“I didn’t say you never could, cub I said you weren’t ready now,” she said patiently.
“Tell me what to do. I’ll do it. Anything. You don’t understand. I I need Kakorr.” His voice cracked as frustration welled up in him. They had come so far gone through so much.
“Sit down, child. You are heating the sand.” She purred as he sat down on the bench beside her and coiled her tail around his wrist.
He could sense her smoky eyes on him, feeling his heart shred. He could only watch silently as she rose, moving around the room. He remembered that sound the music of her humming and purrs mixed with the clicking sound of her hair and tail swaying.
“Here, little one,” she said, settling back down beside him, holding out a bowl. She caressed his cheek with her tail. “It isn’t hopeless, cub. You can do this, but you must have patience.”
Vegeta took it and inhaled the scent, dizzy at the memories it brought back. The liquid was hot, sweet and thick a treat Rouba had given him as a child when he excelled at his lessons.
“Listen to me cub - I can feel how much you want to be mated. I want you to be mated as well.” Rouba shook her head sadly. “But you are still too afraid. Your past has made it difficult for you to trust others.”
He hung his head in shame. Not even Rouba’s arm around his shoulders and her crooning purr were enough to comfort him. “You know everything, don’t you? What I’ve done”
“Hush, cub. I saw what you had to do to survive. I am sorry you had to go through that, but that wasn’t the real you. Once you were freed, you changed. You did it yourself, cub it has been a difficult and painful struggle, but you have made me proud.”
Vegeta looked at her, fighting to hold back the threatening tears. Rouba was… proud? Of him? After everything he had done?
She laughed softly, rubbing his back. “Of course I am proud, little one. You have accomplished so much and become an honorable man. It pleases me to know I will have a hand in teaching a Legendary.”
Vegeta smiled to himself, embarrassed at her praise. He let her hold him, remembering the vibration of her purrs. He could feel her ki wrapping around him and it was as if he was a child again warm and safe in Rouba’s den. He didn’t even realize he was playing with the coin until she rumbled a laugh.
“It’s too bad your Kakarott doesn’t have longer hair, hmm?”
He blushed and released the coin as if it burned. What in the hell was wrong with him? He wasn’t a child he was here so he could mate with Kakorr.
Rouba released him and turned to smile at him affectionately. “It’s alright, cub. Scent often triggers memories some are so strong we must act on them. There is nothing wrong with wanting to return to the warmth and safety of the den sometimes.”
He set aside the bowl only half finished. It was time to be an adult again even if he found it more difficult than he would have imagined. The urge to cling to her like a child kept over-riding logic.
“Why can’t we mate yet Rouba? I do trust Kakorr.”
“You trust him here,” she said, tapping on his forehead. “But even though you have tried, you don’t totally trust him here.” She placed a warm hand on his chest, over his heart.
How could she say something like that? He had given himself to Kakorr when he was weak and nearly helpless. He knew then Kakorr would never hurt him. If he trusted him then, why wouldn’t he now? “But I do,” he protested. “I let”
“Exactly, cub. You let. It is always your games, your rules, your limits.” She frowned, tail absently flicking. “He didn’t know anything about the biyaku, did he?” she finally asked.
“No,” he said hesitantly.
“You felt his fear when the blood began to affect him. Why did he let you continue?”
He frowned. She was almost making it sound like he had done something bad. “He knew I would never hurt him.”
She nodded, bones clicking. “You did nothing wrong. You used his trust to make him stronger. Your Kakarott believes in you.” Rouba sighed. “But you don’t always display the same faith. You say you trust him, and you believe it, but you don’t truly know it deep inside.” She brushed her fingers over his forehead, “Sometimes you let fear overpower trust.”
“You keep saying I’m afraid, but that isn’t possible. You have seen how strong I am. What do I have to fear?”
“Fear has done many things for you, cub. It has made you weak and kept you strong. It has cost lives and saved others. You have used it and battled it. But now it is an obstacle. The fear you still feel with your Kakarott is keeping you from mating.”
He shook his head, trying in vain to comprehend what she had told him. How could he be afraid of Kakorr? They loved each other. He did trust him…didn’t he? “What should I do, Rouba?”
She smiled sadly. “I cannot solve this puzzle for you you must do it yourself. When you know the answer you must prove it to yourself, cub and to him.”
“This will be difficult for you little one. It touches on fears you have not yet faced. I believe in you, cub you can do this. Until you do, you cannot mate.”
Vegeta felt his heart break. They couldn’t mate and it was his fault.
“But how do we mate? Even if I do figure out what to do, we still won’t be able to. I don’t know how.” He pleaded, no longer able to hide his distress. “Please, Rouba. Tell me. Help me. Please.”
“I’m sorry cub. I have helped you all I can. You will know the method when the time is right. This is something you must do on your own. You will find it difficult, but I have faith in you you can earn this. If it is worth having, you will pay the price.”
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Goku flew up to the entrance of the den, not really sure what to expect. The longer he was with Sakka the more he became convinced the Roubas knew their entire history. The boy kept asking leading questions, obviously already aware of the answer. They had talked about his time with Vegeta, and how he felt about bonding and mating.
He had known the instant Rouba told Vegeta they would have to wait. The anguish he felt coming from him was barely controlled. Vegeta wanted this so much maybe even more than he did, if that was possible - and to be told they couldn’t mate yet was traumatic for his prince.
He entered, eyes adjusting from the brilliance of the burning suns to the relaxing dimness of the den. Vegeta was standing close to Rouba, tail brushing her arm, not resisting as she stroked his hair. Goku could hear the purr of her voice as she comforted his prince.
“This is for you, cub,” she said, handing Vegeta a duplicate of the coin in her hair. “Remember the price.”
He took it, slipping the cord it hung on over his head. “This is your hair,” Vegeta said, surprised.
“Of course it is, cub,” she smiled. “Don’t forget me.”
“Rouba…” Vegeta whispered.
“I know, little one. I will remember you.”
Vegeta turned quickly, nearly walking into Goku standing by the door. He wanted to sweep his prince up in his arms, shielding him from the pain this reunion had caused. He looked so lost.
::Vegeta…::
::I’m supposed to see Sakka…:: Vegeta said sadly, heading for the entrance. ::Rouba wants to talk to you now.::
“Come here my little shadow,” Rouba said, taking Goku by the arm and guiding him to the bench. He wondered what kind of person she was to so blithely accept the strangeness of the situation.
He hadn’t paid attention before, but now he saw the Rouba was wearing something like shredded skins, trimmed with bells and beads. When she moved he could see flashes of tattooed skin and he wondered if all Roubas were like her.
She laughed out loud, bells chiming. “No, shadow, we are not a matched set. You should have been one yourself you have the touch.”
Goku shrugged absently. He was too busy trying unsuccessfully to comfort Vegeta through their bond. “You upset him,” he said, accusingly. Vegeta had been trying so hard to get through this and Rouba’s words had nearly shattered his control.
“I know,” she said, sitting across from him, tail clicking.
He looked at the floor, suddenly too embarrassed to meet her steel gaze. “Sakka said I had to…”
“Are you saying you’ve never wanted to?” she asked, nearly smirking.
“Well…yeah but not like that. It doesn’t seem right somehow.”
“But you would let him do it to you; you would even enjoy it.”
He made an embarrassed grin. “Yeah, I guess so. But stuff like that reminds him of bad things that happened growing up.”
“Shadow…everything reminds him of his past. He has dealt with much of it with your help and that of his former lover. This wound goes deeper. You weren’t the one who harmed him,” she said gently. “And you won’t be hurting him now. Instead you will be helping him heal.”
“But do I have to do all of it? Isn’t there another way?”
She shook her head, bones clicking. “No child. This isn’t only for his benefit. This is necessary for you as well. You are much too passive with him you must assert yourself sometimes.”
“That’s not true. I’m not…” Passive? The way he trained?
“There is nothing wrong with loving him the way you do. But the day he was truly freed you both changed. You fell to your knees before him and have never risen again.”
“But he’s my”
“He is your lover and you are his equal. Roles in a bond constantly shift based on needs and moods, but you are in danger of locking yourself into one of submission.”
“I just…I don’t like to upset him.” It was true, he was letting Vegeta guide things more lately. He had never thought it was a problem, but he saw how it could become a habit.
“Don’t you think he would be more upset if you weren’t true to yourself?”
He frowned. He had hidden himself so much from his human friends, not wanting to scare them. He hadn’t realized he was doing the same thing to Vegeta.
“Don’t worry about that, shadow. Now that you know, you can change.”
“So you’re saying the only think keeping us from mating is”
“His fear and your reaction to it. You add to it without realizing what you are doing. Because of your concerns about hurting him even by accident you hold yourself back. Don’t you realize he picks that up through the bond? If you are afraid, subconsciously he wonders if perhaps he has cause to be as well.”
He sighed. “I never thought it would be so difficult.”
She chuckled. “Of course it is difficult. If it weren’t, people would be biting and mating with each other all over the place.”
“Will doing it really help?”
She laughed suddenly. “Honestly Kakarott, you would think I was asking you to kill him. To many, what I am asking is play. Someday it will be for the two of you as well. It is only your knowledge of his prior life that is making you hesitate. Do this for him and you will heal a great wound in his soul.”
He stared at her, newly confident as his decision was made. “I can do anything if it will help him.”
-------------
Goku finished the bowl of hot, thick, spiced liquid while as the Rouba wrote and sketched on a roll of leather beaten thin. She told him between chants and croons under her breath they had paper, but scrolls like this were used for special occasions.
Sakka had joined them Vegeta had demanded to be left alone, threatening the Rouya. Goku was worried about him, but his prince just wanted some privacy. Still, he kept touching Vegeta through the bond, reassuring him.
Goku shook his head. “I don’t think this has really hit me yet. He is stunned and in pain. He has wanted this most of his life ever since he read that fairytale.” He blushed as he realized he had revealed one of Vegeta’s secrets.”
Sakka grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I write them myself. Gives me something to do when I’m waiting for the babies to be ready to be born.
Rouba chuckled to herself as she drew another figure, “Sakka, you should be doing this part. You draw much better than I.”
“I don’t know how I am going to memorize all of this in the little bit of time we have left here.” She had filled the scroll with tiny symbols and great flourishes. She hadn’t even let him read all of it yet. How would he memorize all of this in the next few hours?
She held up a thin roll of paper. “Sakka, you are giving them one of your drawings?” When the Rouya nodded, she slipped it in the sleeve. “You don’t have to memorize it,” she said to Goku. “You will be taking this with you.”
Goku opened his mouth to protest to explain but she held up her hand to stop him.
“Trust me on this, shadow. You are more real here than you imagine. You have substance.”
Goku considered this. That wasn’t what Dende had said, but Rouba seemed to be able to see around corners he didn’t know even existed. “So he’ll be able to keep the coin you gave him?” he asked hopefully. That had been bothering him. He knew now how much Rouba meant to Vegeta. Goku had already been thinking about how hard Vegeta would take losing her gift when they left.
“I would not have given it to him otherwise, child. That would have been too cruel.” She sprinkled an herb-scented powder over the scroll and began to roll it up. “Are you sure you will be able to shield this knowledge from him?”
“I think so,” he said slowly. He never had the mental control Vegeta did, so he wasn’t sure. “I still don’t really understand why you don’t want V- K- him to know I have this.”
Sakka laughed. “You might as well use his name. It’s making you sound kind of spastic. You keep forgetting the name you gave and you keep almost saying his real name.”
Goku hesitated. Should he? He really did feel like he could trust these two even though he’d been betrayed so much lately. “Vegeta. But why can’t I tell him about the scroll?”
“I want my cub to face his fear for the right reasons. If he is only doing it so he can be mated, he is missing the point. This must be done for both of your sakes. If he knows about this,” she held up the roll, “then his goal would only be mating, not healing.”
“It’s all about control and dominance,” Sakka said. “Until he is willing to give up control to you sometimes, you aren’t going to be able to mate.”
Goku scratched his scar and smiled sheepishly. “You know, for someone who says they want us to be mates, you two make things very difficult.”
Sakka leaned back against the wall. “There is a reason why this information isn’t put in books most people can get to. Even when you think you are ready, you’re not. There would be bad bonds all over the place by starry-eyed couples that think they are ready to be together forever.”
Rouba frowned and tapped the roll thoughtfully. “I want you to be mated. I don’t like this bond of yours. It tastes like sand.”
Goku looked at her in shock. The bond was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.
“I know you are happy being bonded, and you two would have done so on your own eventually. But this bond…it was forced on you. It is the result of a foiled plot and was created by the unnatural magic of your enemies. I fear they will find a way to use it against you. The sooner you are mated and this bond is overridden, the better.”
TBC
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*Wonders what happened to kitten... Haven't heard from her lately. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.*
Redtatsu - Thanks. *g* I try.
Webtester - Nail is a pain in the ass. Poor Piccolo. Hope some of your questions about mating are answered in this chapter.
Macha - I see Rouba as a cross between a grandmother and a teacher.(I wish I had someone like that, but sadly, she only exists in my head.) Vegeta would never have allowed anyone else to get that close - but because it was her, someone who will care/does care about him will help. The swap is fun to play with. Krillin... well, let's just say he is a jackass and leave it at that for now. Yeah, Gohan just keeps getting traumatized. But you've got to ask yourself - will he be even more traumatized when he sees what Goku is wearing now. *g*
suisheu - Short skirt? Isn't that the whole idea? There is now the potential for an alternate future, similar to what happened to Mirai Trunks, but honestly, I don't think I'm going to touch on it now. What are the Kais up to? Wait and see.........
Enya - Nice thwacking there. Oh, I would finish no matter what - I'm sorry if I made it sound like I would withhold chapters. I would never do that. I was just kind of stuck and very bummed about it. But I'm unstuck now. *g* Yes, Nail has a great deal of appreciation for good looking bodies - if he regrets anything about fusing with Piccolo it has to be the lack of sex.
nuthouse - Awww - don't feel guilty. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. And the next update should be sooner.
fyrbyrd - You didn't fall off the cliff, did you? I think it is almost time for my Nail/Piccolo one-shot, don't you?
PrincessKoriandr - I have plans for Krillin. As a matter of fact, that entire chapter is in my head.
Schwarzwald - Well...I was mean. They can't be mates yet. I promise - they will be mates eventually. Promise.
Sokushitsu - I have been told this is one of my cruelest cliff-hangers. :) Goku is fun when he is pissed - especially when he is pissed at Vegeta for not being pissed. My Piccolo says bastard quite a bit, doesn't he?
Goheh - I just wish I could be as nice as Rouba. Or had one. Or something. But she gets away with treating Vegeta like a child, and he lets himself act like one to an extent. Did you blow up your lab? *g* See - I fixed it up nice in this chapter. Goku knows, okay?
Galaxy-of-cinders - *Squawk* *chuckles* A 1993 Vegeta UFO catcher? Huh? *Hands her a Chuquita-esque Vegeta plushie* Here - hug this.
scissorshavefeelings - !!!!!!!!!!!!!! *g*
the-ev - Don't worry too much. They will become mates. Promise.
Elenek - *hands box of tissues* Yes, Vegeta has a lot to be upset about.
debbiechan - I love tormenting Piccolo. I don't always like the stories where they end up being mated without effort or consequences.
Yuki Eiri - *catches and puts back in her chair* Glad you like it.
LadyKATT - Not a typo - but this chapter should clarify some things.
Vernalla - I made you cry? *cries tears of happiness* Things are going to get even more emotional, I think. Rouba is the primary source of Vegeta associating hair with safety and comfort - which is one of the reasons Radditz could make him feel safe, even on Frieza's ship.