Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Reason vs feelings ❯ Feeling of betrayal ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Ch. 3 - Feeling of betrayal
After what happened in the garden, Yamcha and I decided nonetheless to part definitively. Our relation had no more reason to be. I was on the verge of leaving for an unknown planet, at the other end of the galaxy, to marry a man of whom all my knowledge came down to three little bits of information : he was a prince, had more money than my father and was rumored to be very powerful.But I had no time to mourn over this, as the following weeks became really eventful. My father wasted no time officializing my engagement and, before I could even realize it, my departure was already being prepared and a marvelous banquet to celebrate my engagement was scheduled the next month.
Thus what had only been a dreaded prospect I tried not to think of, became the center of every conversation around the planet. Each time I dared to step out of my private quarters, someone undoubtedly congratulated me. Everyone but me was frantic about it.
And the feeling of being totally lost was drastically accentuated on the banquet's day, at the point that I almost refused to appear to my own engagement feast. As if I had a choice!
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I pace up and down, nervously chewing my newly manicured nails. It's 6:15 pm and I'm expected in less than 45 minutes. However, I had been debating with myself for the past three hours over whether or not attend this senseless celebration.
If I listened to myself, they wouldn't see me at all. I have no wish to assist to the festivities of my life's ends, at least the end of an existence I had known until now. Actually, I can only think of finding a way to break loose from this unstoppable spiral which is slowly but surely dragging me into a living nightmare. However, my conscience and my sense of duty prevent me from doing so. This union is too crucial, it means the end of all the problems crushing our planet since the beginning of war. The colossal amount paid by King Vegeta in exchange of my fathers acceptance is vital for my people. It's THE solution, the answer to all their prayers.
Indeed, my father intends to invest it, until the last piece of money if necessary, in the planet's rebuilding. Economy and industry will get going again, bringing new employment and picking up trades. Consequently, importation will be possible and every product of which we had been deprived will be available once again. Conveyance of medication will not be blocked anymore and hospitals will become operational again. No more restrictions, of any kind, will be necessary and taxes will be revalued, war not consuming anymore the essential of our resources. The cities destroyed by Frieza's troops during the final battle, which had taken place simultaneously in several planetary systems, among which ours, will be reconstructed. No more homeless, beggars and robbers will infest our streets, thus decreasing robberies and incivilities which had become common occurrences those last years. Peace will really be effective and the threat of a civil war hanging on air due to poverty - which was every year more devastating and essentially affecting lower classes - will be dissipated. Our planet will become again the prolific and majestic place it used to be and my father's prestige will be enhanced by this achievement.
Even Rajtic will earn something from this marriage. He will become my father's rightful successor, since I couldn't be at the same time the Brief-sei's monarch and the Queen of the Saya-jin Empire.
From now on, I'm being carried by the desires of everyone whose destiny goes hand in hand with mine. Yet, I can't get used to the fact that I'm not able to insert my own desires into this current. Life has really designated me as the great loser of this awful scheme. Even Yamcha is better set up than me. He can still start at new and find someone else with whom be happy. I can't say as much. I'm going to be condemned to live with a man I ignore everything about.
- "I can't do this!" I said to no one, wavering between anger and despair, my voice colored by those mingled feelings. But Mandry, who had been quietly sitting at the other end of the bedroom since I started roving around, gives me a blank look.
- "You don't seriously think... " she trails off, her voice still silky and smooth even though I can unequivocally perceive a slight concerned intonation underneath. She knows me enough to guess that I'm seriously thinking of avoiding my engagement banquet.
- "I really can't do it, Mandry. Go there and pretend... pretend everything it's all right... and smile at them... play the perfect little princess's act once again... oh Kami... and agree... agree with them and keep quiet when... when they will tell me one more time how lucky I'm to conclude such a wonderful union... it's impossible... I'm going to go insane before the end of the evening." I end, almost in a murmur, before a choked sob escapes my throat. As soon, a wave of self-pity submerges me with intensity and I quickly find back the black pit of my sorrow. I take a deep inspiration, trying to repress the storm rising inside of me but Mandry's next words stirs it up.
- "Nothing is impossible, my Princess" Her words are spoken in a simpering precision of pronunciation and contains such a truthful undertone that I can't disregard them. Still, I refuse to follow the logical step which Mandry already took because, inside of me , logic is in conflict with my feelings.
- "Of course, nothing is impossible. At least for the person who doesn't have to do it herself" I spat with barely contained bitterness.
Her eyes flashes with outrage but it's gone as quickly as it came and a genuine smile appears on her rosy lips. She walks forwards, stopping in front of me, her dark bronze hair, which is maintained by a black ribbon, falling graciously down her back. Her face betrays nothing. She still has a collected outward aspect, giving the perfect impression of inner calm. How she manages to remain unperturbed, or at least look thus, in any situation it's beyond me. As far as I can remember, she had always been of a placid nature, never upset or prone to any kind of outburst. Even her joy is displayed with restrain, usually only evident in her warm smile and the sparkling of her eyes. She's serenity personified.
- "My Princess... I know it's not what you dreamed of, but you can't escape this marriage"
- "It's not what I dreamed... that's an euphemism! It's just an ironic reverse of situation. Since I'm twelve, I dream of getting married. It occupied a primordial place in my projects, if not the main... but, in my mind, I always imagined it as a joyous moment, full of apprehension but also hope. Happiness would have filled everybody's heart but specially mine. And my father might have finally shown me a little tenderness and told me something like - "Your mother would have been so proud of you" - before kissing my cheek and handing me over the man I loved... the man I loved and not some pseudo Prince I never heard about!"
I sigh in frustration and walk towards my vanity dresser, these thoughts already giving me a head ache. Slumping on the bench, I stare sullenly at my reflection through the fancy, hand carved woody middle mirror. I always praised myself for being able to look radiant and perfect under any kind of circumstances, even the more crestfalling ones. But this time, no amount of makeup could erase the gloominess written all over my features like the open book of my soul.
- "I know, my Princess. Don't think I'm not revolted by the tournure your life took. I also wished to see you marry Yamcha. I had been the privileged witness of your sincere love. I saw it blossom into something so splendid and pure that no one but you both could understand. It's the reason why I helped you out all along."
She pauses and I instantly know I'm not going to like her next words by the way she sucks deeply in her breath.
- "But I committed a mistake. You are my Princess and had also become a friend during all those years we spent together. Thus, in respect for this friendship, I did my best so that you could be with your beloved, defying my monarch's desires and neglecting a primordial duty towards you... the one of opening your eyes. Because of my family history as kings and queens' servants, I was aware of the unworkable complexion of your love. Too many times I heard someone explain how pointless this kind of affair was to let you carry on your relation with him. I knew it will wind-up in great disappointment and pain the day your duties would catch you in their clutches. I hearken the gossips around the palace about your father's aversion for Yamcha but refused to listen to their underlying threat. I couldn't bear of walking out of you, not when you really needed me... and I sincerely regret it... that was my error. I would have never let you be snared by false hopes and certainly not help you to tighten your illusions. Instead, I should have talked you out of it, like a true friend would have done. Never before my obligations had been occulted by my emotions and I'm really sorry Princess"
Her words, wholly impregnated by defeat, penetrate me cruelly. It's like the last rampart preventing my whole life from falling apart has ceded, breaking down my hopes' building like a house of cards blown by wind. She was my most faithful support but she finally gave up. I manage to smile sadly, feeling a sudden deaf pain inside my chest.
- "Don't torture yourself any longer, Mandry. You know I would have found another way to see him, I love him too much. I was really convinced that we could triumph over everything... I really believed that my father would review his opinion and give us his assent after war's end. Now, if I'm doomed to have a lonely and sad live, at least I could find solace in having known true love, something few people will ever be able to experience. And I owe it to you."
- "True love is like a ghost, everyone talks of it but few has seen it" She quotes from an ancient proverb of a forgotten origin.
I look up at her reflection in the mirror and I'm not surprised to see a sad acceptance in her eyes. The same acceptance which is slowly seeping in all my being. Yet, the battle it's still raging in my mind and I'm really starting to feel like a skizo. It's like my mind had been split into equal but dual parts and no one want to give up. It's like I'm being asked to part from an important piece of my soul and do it willingly in addition. The loss I'm feeling it's eating me alive. Sometimes, I can't even breath from the pain saturating all my cells when I think of Yamcha. And, during those moments, I only wish to be able to disappear, fade away from this world I can't stand anymore.
I'm lost in the dark of a future I don't wish, I'm drowning on a destiny I can't fight, I'm being immured behind a wall of solitude and coldness formed by all those persons I can't disappoint and can't even flee. I may still be having a hard time acknowledging this, but I have no escape. There's no way out for me, only a shadowy hole in which I'm certain to fall. A shadowy hole beginning at the ballroom entrance with the meeting of my future husband.
My future husband. I turn over and over these words in my mind, only opening deeper the door to my uncertainty. Then I voice them out loud.
- "I know nothing about him, not even how old he is or how he looks like. Nothing at all. What if he's ugly? I never saw a picture of this Prince Vegeta guy. Maybe that's the reason. He's ugly and small and his power gives him the aspect of a troll. Or maybe he's as stupid as a bug? All in muscle, nothing in brain."
Again, I'm questioning myself. And, again, Mandry's response echoes in the room.
- "No, it can't be. I already met Saya-jins and no one matches this mindless idea. Their musculature and splendorous anatomy gives them rather good looks and a certain imposing presence. And, even if their only preoccupation seems to be fighting, they don't look like crackbrained dudes. After all, they found out an efficient tactic to defeat Frieza."
- "Maybe you are right... maybe not. Anyway, I shouldn't be indulging into this kind of considerations since I don't have a choice in the matter. If I have to marry a little, freaking hideous and half-witted troll for my planet's sake, I will do it."
There's less conviction in this sentence that it seems to contain once uttered. Yet, I stand up and, reluctantly, brush past her, stopping in front of my wardrobe to retrieve a ball gown.
- "Besides, I better hurry up before my father comes here and pull me out by the hair, even if I'm still half-naked" I say with barely concealed contempt, putting on my dress.
As soon, Mandry walks over me, presenting an opened silver plated antique, rectangular box from which I withdraw a tiara, a necklace and its matching earrings. When everything is perfectly set, I slowly made my way to a three panel, full-length, dressing mirror and stare longly at my reflection. And I'm shocked by how well I look.
I'm wearing a one piece, A-line, strapless and iridescent scarlet satin gown featuring an asymmetrical, draped tulle overlay. Rubies and scattered red beadwork rains down toward the hem, falling like spring raindrops. It has a sweetheart shaped neckline and the sheer tulle overlay reveals delicate lace appliques placed on the satin.
The jewelry is also stunning and completes perfectly the dress. The delicate woven tiara has graceful features of crystal flowers and leafs gently entwined with diamonds, curving to a central, patterned large flower and topped by several teardrop-shaped diamonds. Its set on top front of my head while my cyan blue hair cascades in waves along my back.
The necklace flows down nicely in five patterned diamonds flowers graduating in size, spaced by loops of round crystals and embellished by several falls of teardrop diamonds. The very fine flowers drift toward the center where the largest one is shaped and tapered by a smaller flowered diamond drop. The matching earrings are sets of drop encrusted diamonds.
- "Princess, you are absolutely breathtaking... " Mandry half whispers, gazing at me with open admiration, a kind smile wrinkling her mouth.
But I don't listen to her anymore as one disturbing though keeps running through my mind : I'm betraying Yamcha. It hits me like a tidal wave, a giant onslaught of shame.
I forcefully close my eyes and try to remember why I'm doing this. The reality of the situation drives away all my doubts as I recall that I have no choice, that it's the only possible path. I can't escape the prison of my future, no more than I can defer this banquet.
Thus, all the moral detress I was previously feeling can't fight back the cold resolution which invades me at once. I flash Mandry a joyless smile, who had remained obvious of my internal struggling. Then, forcing my steps one by one, I stride across the room and exit my apartments.
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~ I would like to thank Majin Broly for his honest review and Mely for her enthusiasm. You both had really encouraged me. I want to precise that I don't have any intention of dropping the story because it lacks of reviews. In fact, if I'm asking for reviews its mainly because I'm not an English speaker. Thus, my grammar and spelling can contain many errors that cast a shadow over the story. Besides, it's the main reason why it takes me so long to come out with a new chapter. There's so many things I had to check out.
As for the reviews about the story itself, I will receive gladly any advice or proposition, even though I already have a story line in my head. I must also precise that the main plot isn't about Yamcha and Bulma but Vegeta and Bulma (I can help, they are my favorite characters). In fact, it's about Bulma trapped in between her regrets for Yamcha and her turbulent relation with Vegeta, and to what this situation will lead. The story will only contains Bulma point of view (except if I change my mind).
The previously updated chapters are still under construction and I envisage to fix them all along. I'm trying to follow Majin Broly's advices and put more personality into the characters and more perspective into how bad this situation is. As a matter of fact, I already made some changes, nothing relevant, but I'm trying to improve them the better I can. I also changed the name of Bulma's planet from Brief-sei to Tekriehl. I though it was rather confusing because, in fact, her father is not Dr Brief (I always though she was adopted in the anime anyway, from something she said to Goku in DB about having been abandoned). He's a cold king, only caring for his planet's prestige and emotionally neglecting his daughter. He hasn't Dr Brief's appearance or kind behavior at all. And her mother neither was like the foolish blond from DB.
These things being clarified, I hope you can understand better the story and enjoy it. So, let me know what you think.
Is this chapter useless? Too melodramatic? Too long? Too chaotic or disordered? Fitting in the story line?
Ps : Bulma and Vegeta first meeting will happen next chapter ~
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