Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Redemption ❯ Understand ( Chapter 10 )

I don't understand. This is insane! He can't… he can't feel this way! Why would he do this?! I wanted to kill him for so long, but he has always admired me? That makes no sense! Why would he do that?! What redeeming quality could I possibly possess that would make me seem like a choice for a good mate?! Is he that desperate for affection that I seemed like a good choice in a possible mate?

My mind is reeling, and I'll be damned if I can stop it.

"Vegeta?"

I can't see. My eyes won't focus. Don't faint, don't faint, don't faint…

"Are you okay? Vegeta?!"

Sorry. I'm worrying you again, aren't I? I did promise I'd make sure you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. I promised I'd be good. And I haven't been. I've doubted you, I've done terrible things Kakarrotto. I've yelled at you, I've disobeyed you. I swore I'd be good and okay and alright, just for you, and I've been the exact opposite.

He lunges at me and gathers my limp body into his arms, holding tightly, as if I'll fade away into air. I can smell the panic on him, the desperation.

I promise I'll be good from now on, Kakarrotto. You can have me as your mate. I won't mind it much, truthfully. I won't resist, I promise.

I nuzzle the chest I'm pressed into, but he doesn't loosen his hold. I don't know why.

I've taken everything good away from you. I'm the reason you're wife left, aren't I? I'm the reason you cried, the reason she couldn't stay with you anymore. You lied to me before, Kakarrotto. You… you lied. You lied too, Kakarrotto.

Liar.

The body holding me still jerks suddenly, tensing. Damn. He must have heard that then. But for some reason I'm not scared. The thought of him being angry at me flickers through my mind, attempting to squeeze some sort of vestige of fear or worry out of my exhausted mind, but it finds none left.

I'm suddenly exhausted. Though God knows I've been unconscious enough for the last few days. But apparently not enough. I'm still so tired…

His body jerks again and I hear a strangled noise from above me. Mindless curiosity prompts me to tilt my head up and look at Kakarrotto's tear-streaked face.

My eyes widen in surprise. He's… what is he doing? Why is he crying? I don't understand why he's crying. Why is he sad? I just said that I would be good for him and keep my promises like I was supposed to. Why is he sad?...

A full-fledged sob tears out of his mouth and throat and I jerk back in surprise at the sudden sound. His eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking out (pouring out) despite the effort he puts in keeping his eyelids clamped firmly together.

Another hiccupped sob makes his entire body jerk again, and he bows his head until it nearly meets my shoulder.

Now that I know that it's there, the bond is pouring out everything he's feeling into me. No. Pouring is not the right word. The emotions are battering themselves against me, like large hailstones hitting a car.

The dents are the same.

Everything is swirling around in his mind too. He wants to shield and protect me from the universe, and keep it from doing me any more harm than it has already. He knows that I've already been damaged then. Good.

He wants so badly to keep me right there, crushed up against him, and soothe every negative thought and emotion away from me until I am nothing but happy. Or at least content. He would be happy with content.

But I'm already crushed up against him. What more does he want? Why is he still crying if I am already here and have no intention of leaving? Did he not want a loyal and devoted pet?

"NO!"

…

I don't understand.