Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Reflections of a King ❯ Chapter 1

Reflections of a King

(chapter 1)

Purgatory is what they call it. Hell is more like it. Vegeta no Ou, sitting in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but a tree and my thoughts for company. The King of the (former) Planet Vegetasei, forced to relive every moment of my life, from beginning to end, over and over again. Every heartache, every mistake, everything. Even the good memories only serve to remind me just how horrible my failure truly was.

My keepers come by often to check on me, to see how I've progressed at letting go of my regrets. They attempt to reassure me, reminding me that my destination is Heaven, not Hell, but that there is no room in heaven for regrets.

It doesn't matter. I'll never get there. If I sat here for all of eternity, I wouldn't even be close to naming off all of my mistakes, much less letting them go anywhere.

Strangely enough, I had a visitor today, the first in nearly thirty years. The young man had a way about him…I think he's one of those people who makes you feel better just because. You don't know why, just because.

When I first saw him, I mistook him for his father. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest at the sight of that familiar spiked hair, and I immediately jumped to my feet. As he neared, I realized that the innocent, unscarred face belonged not to Bardock, but to his youngest son, Kakarrot.

He introduced himself to me, and actually apologized for interrupting! He bowed deeply with great respect. I was so touched that I hugged him. He became embarrased, and put his hand behind his head in a familiar gesture of confusion. Kakarrot looked at me with his soulful, ebony eyes and said, "I can't believe how much you look like MY Vegeta."

I laughed and responded, "Well, I could say the same about you and MY Bardock." We sat down together underneath my tree. Kakarrot smiled gently and explained that he had wanted to meet me before he left for Chikyuu on the morrow.

"For good this time," he added. I didn't understand what he meant so he explained. This led to his telling me of my son and my grandchildren. I wanted to know every detail, and I asked as many questions as I could think of. Kakarrot answered each one. He told me of the final battle with Frieza, Vegeta's ascenscion to Super Saiyan and beyond, the Cell Games, the fight against Babidi and Majin Buu, and his and Vegeta's subsequent Fusion. He also told me of his love for my son, and his hope that he would someday convince the proud Ouji to be with him.

"Vegeta is as stubborn as ever," I said. It wasn't a question.

Kakarrot chuckled softly and said, "More so, I think. But I'll just have to be as single-minded and obstinant as he is."

I nodded my head in agreement and said, "That has ever been the way to deal with Vegeta. You have to break down those walls. Just don't let him wear you down."

Kakarott said sadly, more to himself than to me, "This isn't a battle I can afford to lose." I took his hand in mine. My lover's son was filled with a phenomenal power but he spoke with such quiet strength.

He continued, "I won't give up on him. Or us."

I answered, "Then you won't fail."

Kakarrot asked me to tell him stories of Vegeta as a child, and I complied readily. Thoughts and memories of my young son have been both my torment and my salvation. I told him all that I could, some stories being better left untold…and some were not mine to tell. We passed a considerable time together, and for the first time in many years, I felt hope. "You're good for my son, I think," I remarked as he stood to leave.

He reached for my hand to help me up and said, laughing, "So, we have your blessing then?"

I looked into his deep onyx eyes and said solemnly, "I wish you all luck, son of Bardock."

I walked him toward the gates, but Kakarrot stopped me just short of them. "Vegeta no Ou," he began, "ever since my fusion with Vegeta, there has been a part of him inside of me. I think that he wants you to know that he never stopped loving you, that he forgives you for what happened."

I started to cry, and Kakarrot continued, "He needs to know, Ou, can you forgive him for what he did to you?"

I looked again into his eyes, they were as innocent as a newborn's yet with a wisdom as old as time. I whispered, "My death. It was not Vegeta's fault. Frieza killed me. I killed myself."

Kakarrot spoke again, his voice was pitched lower, more gravelly, sounding somewhat like my own, "But these hands, I killed you with these hands…"

I grabbed him and held him against me as if he were Vegeta. My son, and yet not my son, a boy-man with young-old eyes. Into his ear, I murmured, "Sshh. No, child, this was never your fault. I sold my son, his body and his soul, for the sake of a planet that is no more. My prince, my child, my only son. You made the ultimate sacrifice for me and for your people. I am so proud, so honored to have died by your hands. You took me out of my misery, and were left, alone, to pick up the pieces of my failure."

Kakarrot fell from my arms onto the ground. He sobbed, his mind and body wracked with a pain that was not his, but instead belonged to the man he so desperately loved. I hit my knees, and cried my pain alongside his.

Some time later, our grief ran its' course. Kakarrot turned his lovely tear-streaked face toward mine. He looked so much like his father that it took my breath away. "I wish…"he said, "I wish that I could take some of his pain…"

I cut him off kindly, "But then he wouldn't be Vegeta."

Kakarrot touched my face and smiled faintly. As we rose to our feet, he hugged me, whispering, "Don't take too long here. My father sends his love from Heaven. Try not to give poor Papa as hard a time as your namesake will give me."

I hugged him back fiercely, unwilling to let go of the man who was my last connection to Vegeta. He said, "I love you, " but in the voice of my son. And I cried. He left and I'm still crying.

I sit under this stupid-ass tree and I cry. I weep as I never have. For my son, for myself, for my people, for my planet. For the last remnants of the Saiyan race eking out their existence on a pathetic planet I had ordered destroyed.

And then I laugh as I remember my Vegeta as a baby, a toddler, a young boy.

Again I cry because I will never know him as a man, as a father, as a husband, as Kakarrot's lover, as the Vegeta no Ou.

My only child, my bastard heir, forever the Vegeta no Ouji.

I cry and I laugh, and I cry and I laugh. And I reflect…