Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Reflections of a King ❯ Chapter 5

Author: Cleodasia

Summary: Vegeta no Ou sees what might have been.

Warnings: A/U; Vegeta no Ou's POV; references to male/male relationships; references to my sister Talon's original character, Sage…(if you haven't read her work, please check her out, you can find her at Mediaminer.org…)

Archiving/Comments/Suggestions/Complaints/ Ideas/Flames: You can get in touch with me at cleodasia@yahoo.com!

Thanks in advance for reading/reviewing!

A body lies in state, awaiting cremation on the morrow. The face is very familiar to me. It is my own, yet considerably older. This man has lived a full life, a good life. His face is marred by wrinkles around his mouth and eyes, lines from laughing. His hair and goatee are striped with silver, his tail shaded with grey. The signet ring on his right hand catches my eye, and I inhale sharply. Sixteen small diamonds. I count again, to make certain. Sixteen generations of the family Vegeta ruled planet Vegetasei, I am the last king. The planet is destroyed, there will be no more kings. This is my body that I'm observing. "This isn't right…" I think to myself.

I look around, struggling to comprehend. I'm in the King's Room, a large bedroom in the old part of the palace. I never slept here…too many ghosts. Tapestries, draperies, bedding, carpeting, all done in deep crimson. Blood-red, I call it. I move closer to the body, curiosity overwhelming any anxiety. I touch the corpse gingerly, unbuttoning the black coat covering his chest. A black tunic under the coat halts my investigation. I rip the fabric away from his heart. No wound, no scar. I slide my hands over the unblemished chest, not believing my eyes. This is MY body, I couldn't mistake that. The birthmark on my left shoulder, it is distinctive. Other scars, from long-ago battles and passionate bouts of love-making. All mine. I don't understand what's happening. This isn't truth, it's madness. "It didn't happen this way. I didn't die here."

My thought is cut off by the clamber of heavy boots. Sounds like an Honor Guard. I can make out little of their conversation. I step away from the body, fading into the shadows. I somehow doubt that anyone will be able to see me, and I don't know that I want them to. The large doors open, but only one man enters. He closes the doors behind him, and crosses over to the bed. My son. Vegeta no Ouji. A man grown.

He is exquisite. Compact, but well-built. Muscular, broad-shouldered, slender-waited, with strong thighs. He complexion is dark, his tail is auburn, it matches the streaks in his otherwise pitch-black hair. His eyes are also black. Strangely, they seem to reflect all light. A proud, beautiful man. Hot tears wash down my cheeks. He is all that I had hoped he would be.

Vegeta nears the bed, removing his heavy black cloak. He deposits it on the floor, taking off his gloves and leaving them as well. His bare hand snakes out and caresses the forehead of his father. His long, sensitive fingers feather across the forehead, and then thread through the silver-and-auburn strands of hair. Leaning over, Vegeta lays a kiss on the king's brow. He stands away, and tears are clinging to his long eyelashes. He wipes them away with one hand as he moves a nearby chair closer to the bed. He sits down heavily, painfully. I can hear the joints in his knees and hips groan in agony. He doesn't react at all to the discomfort. My son leans over, head in hands, and begins to sob uncontrollably. I move to his side, stroking his shoulders, but he doesn't feel my touch. I speak his name, but he doesn't hear my voice. I am helpless to assuage his grief.

Vegeta stays this way for some time, his weeping eventually giving way to silence. A soft knock at the door startles him, and he calls out harshly, "Come." One of the doors opens slowly and another man enters. He is tall, nearly a head taller than my son, with long legs and a powerful body. I recognize him immediately, his unruly spikes a dead giveaway. Kakarrot. Here, on Vegetasei. This is insanity.

"Impossible," I think, "he left as an infant, never to return. I'm in shock, and I'm frightened by the situation. It's as if I've been picked up and dropped into another world, another time.

Kakarrot makes his way over to Vegeta, and places a hand on the back of his chair. "My Lord, the people await your arrival, " Kakarrot rumbles, his voice unnaturally deep. Vegeta looks up at the younger Saiyan. He says nothing, but Kakarrot sees the pain in his eyes. "Oh, Vegeta…you mustn't grieve like this. His Lordship never liked to see you upset."

Vegeta laughs harshly, saying, "You're right, he didn't. But he's gone now, and I'm still here."

Kakarrott gets down on his knees in front of Vegeta. He takes the smaller man's face into his hands. "Lover, " he says softly, "You are strong. You will live through this. We need you to be strong for us, and for your sons."

This strikes me. This is wrong. I remember well Kakarrot's visit to me in Purgatory. He told me of my grandsons, Trunks and Sage. Wherever I was, things had changed drastically. The thought flickers in my mind, "Vegeta didn't kill me here…"

My attention returns to my son and his beloved. They are truly magnificent, the love flowing in and around them is palpable. Kakarrot says, "This coronation is important. I know you don't want to be seen right now, but the people need to know they have a king."

Vegeta's harsh voice grates, "He isn't even cold yet…"

Kakarrot places a finger on my son's lips, silencing him, "Baby, you don't have any choice. The coronation must take place now. You are the king, you have been from the moment of your father's death. But the people are frightened. Vegeta no Ou was a good man, a good king, and so will you be."

Vegeta shakes his head, "I'm not like him…"

"Yes, you are, " Kakarrot responds, "He always said that you were his spirit and image---`cept for your mouth. Got that from your mama."

Vegeta chuckles, and then looks away guiltily. Kakarrot rises from his knees, and kisses his prince gently on the nose. "Dear heart, the King loved to laugh. He adored hearing you laugh. You do him no dishonor by continuing to take joy in life. Your father is gone, but his spirit lives on in you and in your sons. Smiling, laughing, loving, these are the gifts that you have been given."

Vegeta stands as well. Both men return to the side of the bed and look down at the body. At me, at my older self. As Vegeta slides his arm around his lover's waist, Kakarrot kisses the top of Ouji's head. He rubs his palm in soothing circles on Vegeta's back. Holding hands, they say a prayer together, and when finished both go to their knees in great reverence.

Vegeta kisses the cold face for the last time. Kakarrot takes the frigid hand in his for a moment. They turn and leave the room. The doors slam shut.

I am alone.

Twice dead.

Finally, I know this for what it truly is.

A dream, a vision, a prayer.

What might have been. What could have been. What SHOULD have been.

My son, my heir, my only child, finally happy.

Able to laugh freely, able to live freely, able to love freely.

The seventeenth Saiyan no Ou.

Damn it all to a fiery hell, I caused this future, my son's future to die. He would never be crowned King Vegeta, because there was no fucking planet for him to rule. It was gone, forever. I had destroyed it, as surely as I had destroyed the life of my son.

My Vegeta.

Forever the Saiyan no Ouji.

I have no one to blame but myself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reluctantly, I pull out of the trance. I had almost convinced myself of this new life, this new world in which I had been loved, respected, and revered. I'm in the same spot I've been in for the past thirty years. My little spot in Purgatory, my own personal Hell, saved especially for me.

I can never forgive myself, and I hope that no one else does. I refuse to take my place in Heaven, until I see my son again. Until he absolves me of the crimes done against him.

I am compelled to relive every moment of my live. And it all comes back to this simple fact. I gave my son to a monster. No matter what my reasons, even had they been completely altruistic, I brutally betrayed the only person I ever truly loved.

I can't deny what I did, as much as I want to. All I can say is that at the time, I thought there was no other choice…

To be continued