Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Retaliation; the Trouble Inside ❯ Admissions ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Uub, Goku, or Pan. Akira Toriyama does!

 

When she next knew she existed in physical form, Pan felt someone carrying her aching body. All the muscles seemed limp and relaxed and two strong arms held her under the back and knees. From the gait of the person carrying her, it was perhaps her grandfather. Yet she sensed another presence nearby that corresponded with Uub's energies. That and the sound of the voices also informed her they were walking slowly towards something.

 

“I'm kinda worried about what Chichi's going to say if she sees Pan like this,” Goku's voice sheepishly commented.

 

“I know. If you want, I can take her back to her room and lay her down. Wait, on second thought, I don't' want to give Gohan any wrong ideas,” Uub answered.

 

“Uub, why would you think that? And why are you blushing?” came Goku's innocent question. Still his voice sounded somewhat raspy, and she felt the softness of his fur and long hair tickling her nose. He must still be in Super Saiyan 4 form.

 

“I um… well… she's not married and I um… well its one thing if she was a sister, but she isn't and I… oh man this is embarrassing,” Uub's voice faltered.

 

Abruptly she felt her carrier come to a stop. Wind gently fluffed her hair and she sensed tension in the muscles of her grandfather's arms bearing her. Sounding more like a low growl her grandfather questioned, “Uub, you're losing me here. Just spit it out. C'mon you can tell me anything.”

 

“Goku… um… I… well it's like this. I don't want Pan's parents to think that I'm trying to do something… inappropriate. It's not like she and I are married! I… oh jeez that's not what it sounded like!”

 

“But you aren't doing anything funny. You're just like one of the family. I mean Gohan and Videl trust you!”

 

“But you're her grandfather and I just feel like… well wouldn't you worry if you saw a boy hanging around your granddaughter that was married to her or… in her bedroom?” babbled Uub and his voice wavered with intense embarrassment.

 

An instant later, she felt the vibration of a chuckle in his muscular chest, and then heard his voice exclaim, “Wait a minute, Uub, are you worried that they won't trust you if they saw you in Pan's room? I trust you.”

 

“But Chichi's… always so protective of Gohan you told me. And she might think the wrong thing. Like Videl. Oh can't you see what I'm saying?” Uub said in frustration.

 

“Oho….” Goku's voice trailed off. “I guess it took me a while to see what you're talking about. But you wouldn't do anything like that to Pan. I know you wouldn't because the thought wouldn't even cross your mind. I mean it might but you wouldn't act on it. Say… do you… like Pan?”

 

“No I don't mean sir… it's not like that!” stammered Uub, mortified.

 

“You don't like Pan?” asked Goku, his muscles tensing. “Because you're acting all funny like Gohan did when I first heard about him and Videl. Tell me the truth, Uub… do you like Pan like THAT, or in another way?”

 

Pan quickly hoped they would still think she was unconscious because she wished she were a million miles away from now. Especially when he said, “Of course I do… I mean yes… but I… what do I say? I'm trying to find the words but it's coming out all wrong because I'm embarrassed I'll make you mad… ”

 

“What's so embarrassing?” Goku said in a level tone that showed no anger, but a strange acceptance. “Next thing I know when I came back to life was chichi was thrilled because she was sure they'd be getting married soon!”

 

“No that's not it I mean… I don't like Pan where I'd do what… Trunks tried to do. But I do like her… the way that you… that Gohan… and Videl…” Uub finally confessed.

 

Hearing these words Pan's heart pounded, realizing that he confessed what she had dared hope. How could her grandfather see something so clearly when his pupil and granddaughter hadn't voiced it aloud? By the very way he was acting Uub had all but admitted his feelings for her, and she was both annoyed and thrilled at her grandfather for being the first one to know.

 

“That's a relief. Don't you feel better just saying it? I know words aren't something that is easy to master when you're a fighter. I didn't get this whole marriage thing when I first heard about it…” Goku explain with a slight nervous chuckle. Pan judged if one of his hands wasn't occupied carrying her that it would find it's way to the back of his neck. No matter what transform Goku achieved his awkward 'son' grin always surfaced in its endearing glory.

 

“Marriage… um that's… I mean that's what I'd do with a girl before I'd… you know…” Uub continued to fumble. “I guess… it's no secret. I do… like her like that but what if she doesn't feel the same way? I'm not like the kind of guy she'd… well…”

 

“Chichi's coming this way,” said Goku quickly. She felt movement as she was thrust into someone else's arms. “We'll talk later. Just lay her up in her room and don't worry. I'll take care of things. You can go down and tell Videl she's taking a nap…”

 

“But… but…” stammered Uub.

 

Willing herself to remain as limp as she could, Pan felt the quivering in the strong pair of arms that now carried her. She heard the shout of her grandmother coming over the hill and heard Goku's answer. Then a blast of air hit her in the face as she felt herself being lifted. Something like the rasp of a window being slid aside was the next sound she heard, along with the motion she felt of being lifted over something.

 

Next she heard his soft footfalls on carpet accompanied by sideways motion preceding the sensation of something flat under her back. Before she could decide whether to suddenly wake up or not, she sensed Uub's ki suddenly blur out, and felt the blast of wind from the direction of what must be the window. Blinking she saw she was indeed laying on top of the covers of her own bed, with a quilt tossed over her.

 

“Darn it,” she mumbled, then curled up and shivered with a mixture of embarrassment and unbridled joy. Fear escalated and she caught herself giggling at the rush of blood in her face. She could not believe that she was having the feelings for someone that seemed so opposite to the sort of person she had long pursued. What would happen next, and how could she keep from revealing what had been discussed while they presumed she was still unconscious?

 

Chichi panted as she rushed out to meet the weary fighters. When she saw only Goku she almost toppled over from the momentum of sprinting towards him. Red furry arms reached out to catch her and she collided with a sweaty hard chest, smooth and free of any hair. Chichi let out a yelp to see that it was Goku, but one of the very different forms she had come to see. Amber eyes blinked down at her, and then Goku realized from the shock in her face he was still transformed. She had seen Uub who appeared to be carrying their granddaughter, but all questions of why quickly vanished from her head.

 

“Goku, what on earth are you doing like… like that still?” she scolded. Her dark eyes were wide with what he interpreted as fear. Pain twisted Goku's chest, tying his stomach in knots. Shoulders slumped with the sad realization that there was a side of him he would never be able to share with her. He would never forget the scream of horror she had given him and Gohan, and the words she used to describe them, “My son's become a delinquent! I HATE that! What have you DONE to him?”

 

At the time, Goku had tried to overlook it. The grim determination of saving the world and shutting out all but the fight had pushed aside emotions he tried not to feel. It was far easier to just think of eating and sleeping, instead of trying to ponder uncomfortable things he could not comprehend. However, he was lying to himself because he DID understand, and he knew she was upset. It didn't' take a genius to figure out that Chichi WAS horrified, and she DID hate super Saiyans. Granted she often blurted out things in her anger that she sometimes apologized for, but she was very honest if not blunt. The best answer was to apologize and change in front of her, and swear he would not forget again. Then try and go fishing and bring something she really liked so she would not be angry with him the rest of the night. After all, his hard work trying to make up for years of neglect, he still beat himself up for continuing to be so dense.

 

“I'm sorry,” Goku said, lifting her up and stepping back. “I forgot you hated seeing me transformed. I know you hate Super Saiyans. I promise I will not let this happen again. I'll just go and change… back to my old self…”

 

As he turned on his booted heel, he heard Chichi suddenly snap, “Now wait just a minute! I'm not done speaking to you!”

 

Goku froze, and felt the action of Chichi's hand grasping his arm. He was all set to drop his transform, but did not want to risk hurting Chichi with the massive blast of energy he might release letting it go. While he had tamed the transformation somewhat, he did not want his wife to continue to be annoyed. Such strength she had in that viselike grip though the fingers were small amazed him. In this form, he was afraid he could break her with one wrong move. Staying rigid, he turned his head to look at her. “I'm sorry Chichi. I just don't' want to make you any madder. I might do something to make you more upset if I change in front of you…”

 

“Goku, would you LISTEN to me for a minute?” Chichi cut him off. “That's NOT what I'm talking about!”

 

“I forgot. I'm sorry,” he mumbled, looking down at his shoes and feeling a black mood settle over him.

 

“No wait, it's okay. Goku, I… you just… startled me a little,” Chichi said softening her voice. “I appreciate you… worrying about me… and what I'd think. That's… sweet of you… after all this time.”

 

“I never meant to scare you,” he answered, still unable to look at her. However, he heard the motion of her body and saw her suddenly swoop into view, standing only mere feet from him. Dark eyes were filled with tears, and a look of understanding that astonished him. He was not being chewed out. In fact, it was hardly the reaction he could have imaged. Of course, she had seen him in this form fighting many adversaries, but he had not spent much time around her to see what she was really thinking. He automatically assumed she would be just as disgusted, and he had hidden this side of him as much as he could.

 

“Goku, don't… leave. You can stay like that… a little,” Chichi said simply.

 

“Then I don't look like a delinquent?” Goku asked, the corner of his lip twisting in a slight sneer. “A monster? Chichi, you don't have to pretend. I know you hate Super Saiyans.”

 

“Goku, stop it,” Chichi snapped. He winced visibly, an odd sight to see that feral face flinching as if she had hit him. Then he felt her fingers running along one of his furry biceps, and the coolness of her hand reaching up to touch his cheek.

 

“Goku, look at me,” Chichi said, voice softer and gentler. “You don't look like a delinquent. Not like this. This is something… I can actually stand… and… I'm not scared.”

 

“Of me as a red monkey? That's something new,” Goku half growled.

 

She saw the tail threshing back and forth like a cat who was frustrated. Goku after having returned to adulthood was pleased that chichi didn't mind his tail. Especially when he promised NOT to look at the full moon with it. In fact, she said it reminded her of how he was as a youth, and she said without delay she could stand it. Later he realized in the privacy of their bedroom that she was really meaning it was something she could learn to accept about him. Just as long as he didn't turn into one of those horrible Super Saiyans. Now she seemed to be contradicting all he had presumed.

 

“I mean… I actually... think you look… cute in this form?” Chichi stammered, a bit startled by the growl that he stifled. She leaned up to slide her hand into the cascade of long spiky hair, stepping close enough that her breasts lightly touched his chest and abdomen. “But you wouldn't shut up long enough for me to explain.”

 

“Cute?” Goku blinked, his amber eyes clouding with confusion. “But why? I remember the times I accidentally hurt you, like when I knocked you into that tree!"

 

"You remember that?" Chichi asked.

 

Unaccustomed to having Chichi show affection to him in any of his transforms Goku twitched. He was terrified of breaking her and yet the smell of her soft hair and the proximity of her body were causing him to feel things more acutely in this feral form then he normally did. So he said, "I always felt guilty. Remember who wrapped the bandages around your head and arm? Chichi, I'm far more powerful in this form then I was even then. Even more powerful then you can imagine. If anything it's weird that you wouldn't think I was a monster like this!”

 

“You still look like Goku… my husband. The one I fell in love with and the man I love as my husband. Not with that horrible glowing hair and those awful terrible eyes. But your hair… and your tail… I mean it just FEELS more like you?” she struggled to explain, but ran out of words.

 

“Really?” he asked, tensing at the sensation of her silk-sleeved arms slipping around his hips. He towered over her, the top of her dark haired head only reaching the middle of his chest. Her breasts pressed to his abdomen, and other parts of her to parts of his anatomy that were starting to betray him. Pins and needles pricked him, setting him on edge and awakening a hunger that he both welcomed and dreaded.

 

“Chichi, I don't want to hurt you. I could break you… if I lose control,” Goku murmured, not wanting to risk pushing her aside. She felt wonderful in his arms, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his bared chest. Still good looking for her age, Chichi was still quite strong. Yet he was not blind to the fact that she had aged while he had remained young.

 

“Goku, are you telling me the strongest man in the universe can't do something as simple as hug his wife? Share some of that almighty energy with me. Gohan told me how he, Trunks, and Goten gave you energy to help you transform to this. Can't you do the same thing in reverse? Give some of that energy back to me?” Chichi asked, glancing up at him. Goku blinked for a second, and then his lips curved up to reveal sharp white canines.

 

“Well, I know better than to ask why I didn't think of that before, Chi,” Goku laughed, his chest rising and falling against hers. Carefully he folded his massive arms around her, swinging his tail to lightly flick against her backside.

 

It propelled her a bit against him, so their bodies were tightly locked together. Goku twined it around Chichi's hips, willing it to hold back all but a tiny fraction of his strength. Closing his eyes, he tapped into the hidden center of his ki, and let an equally miniscule amount bleed through to her. Chichi's ki increased a bit, shimmering like a small asteroid reflected in the light of a massive star. Satisfied it was a success he increased the portion ever so slightly. At each level, he held back more than he was afraid she could take. Until at last her chi burned bright enough to Pan's resting level.

 

“That feels so incredibly good, Goku,” she whispered. “But there's another problem?”

 

“What's wrong?” he blinked, looking down at his wife who had not burst into flames and was holding his borrowed ki quite successfully. She was the daughter of the Ox King after all, not a mere human.

 

“This,” she said, reaching her hands up to plunge into his hair. He sensed her standing up on tiptoe in an effort to raise herself. She yelped when his tail suddenly tightened around her hips and boosted her up so her eyes were level with his.

 

“Better?” he asked.

 

“Much,” she nodded, capturing his neck in the nest of her arms. Without another thought, her lips sealed his off, and he felt her tongue teasing at his lip. Unable to think why he should not, his mouth yielded, and he inhaled her breath. The warmth transmitted through the gentle caress of her tongue against his and the scrape of her nails on his scalp inflamed his desire. Chest rumbling he turned his head to the side and slid his tongue gently forwards, swiping firmly over the roof of her mouth. Long ago, they had fumbled upon a kiss they both enjoyed, and the familiarity of her lips twisting on his and her moan stifled in his throat told him this was what they thirsted for.

 

For a long while, he contented himself with exploring her as she did him, by lightly squeezing her back and rear while she stroked the soft fur along his neck and arms. She had always wanted to taste him as a Super Saiyan 4, and Chichi was not about to pass up such this chance. Hot surges of her gasps pulsed through to his throat, and he swallowed them, while sweeping his ki around her like a protective blanket.

 

He barely noticed that he had levitated them foot above the ground, his arms safely binding her to his body while they were lost in one another. One of her muscular thighs slid provocatively along his baggy gi pants, to wrap around his hip. Curling his left hand under her bottom, he urged her to bring the other leg to embrace his waist so he felt the warmth of her desire closer to his own. His right hand tightened in the short hair that he wished she had not cut off. It was clasped in twin barrettes to match her silk dress and pantaloons that covered her still shapely body. In this form, Chichi realized Goku appeared older and almost timeless, enabling her to forget the disparity in their aging. A `red monkey' was a far cry from a smooth faced young man of apparent age 20, kissing a 50 something wife appearing old enough to be his mother.

 

“So that's why you're okay with this? Because I don't look so young?” Goku blinked, releasing the kiss.

 

Chichi nodded, shame shortly banishing the blissful look there before on her countenance. She could not meet her gaze with those clear amber ones, so she peered down at his chest and ran her finger along the valleys and creases between his pecs. “I'd be a liar if that didn't cross my mind. I guess you remember Bulma saying that Saiyans were `freaks'?"

 

"Yes, I remember. Just before the tournament where I first fought Uub?"

 

"How can I forget," she responded, sending a pang through his stomach that comprised regret. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that back. I know you've done your best to stick around a lot lately and I appreciate it, Goku sweetheart. But is that why you're pulling away?”

 

“I was afraid of losing you when I was a kid,” Goku admitted. “I felt bad that I couldn't somehow… stay close to you. When I finally realized how much I needed you. And it's not just the food, though I like that… and it's not just the other things.”

 

“It's sweet of you to think of that. I'm just glad not to have to worry about being called a pedophile,” Chichi chuckled.

 

“A what?” Goku rumbled, amber eyes widening in confusion. This expression softened the harsh set of his angular brow, bringing him that much closer to his familiar features.

 

“Well technically I guess I do look old enough to be your mother but…” Chichi muttered, returning her gaze to him.

 

“Stop it Chichi. Do you think I care how…? I mean you're pretty now,” he stopped himself in time before he said something that would surely earn him a night outside on the sofa. Chichi giggled at his efforts to reign in his tongue, and firmly kissed him again, her teeth nipping his lower lip. Aggressively she squeezed his waist in her lower embrace to reassure him he did not have to treat her like porcelain.

 

"No, but I am a woman, Goku. What happens when you return back to your usual self? I'll still continue to grow old while you remain young! I mean I'm glad that you're an adult again, but you look like my SON instead of my husband," Chichi admitted giving voice to her deepest fears. She felt his tail unwrap from around her hips, and Goku set them both down once more on the hilltop.

 

Goku exhaled a long pulse of air, ruffling his savage spiky mane where it curved over his face before those intense eyes. "Damn it Chichi. What can I do or say to let you know I don't CARE? You've always scolded me because I didn't notice how you looked and now you're suddenly worried? Do you think so little of me? I love you damn it! What must I do to prove it to you?" he despaired. Back and forth his tail swished, signaling his anguish.

 

"You already are. That was selfish of me to think such things. I'm not very good when it comes to caring about how you feel Goku. I never was," Chichi blurted out. She buried her face in his massive chest, violently stroking his soft fur. Like hugging a teddy bear it felt so incredibly comforting and rich, not to mention exciting. Still his aura of ki permeated her and surrounded her with its presence, sending pleasant little tingles along her nerve endings.

 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Sometimes I don't know when to shut up and just enjoy what I have. I can't control everything and I don't know why I even tried. All those times my priorities were insanely upside down. But you drove me crazy, Goku. It was so hard to love you and yet I couldn't do anything else."

 

"Enough already. Let's just look ahead now," he whispered back, nudging her lips with his own. Once more he pulled her up in his arms, hungrily pressing his mouth to hers to show what words could not express. How broken they both were, and yet capable of gluing the shattered pieces together time after time.