Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Satan Video ❯ Bathroom Antics ( Chapter 4 )

Warning: Adult content ahead, but no lemons, and lots of random insanity.

Disclaimer: I am envious of Toriyama-san, Toei animation, and Funimation. They own what I do not. I also do not own AOL unfortunately.

Chapter 3: Bathroom Antics

Vegeta landed at his new place of employment a few minutes early. Goku was going to fly with him, but he wasn't done eating yet and Vegeta was being his usual impatient self. He went inside to find only two people working at the moment, a plump genie looking guy and a short bald man. The genie's name tag said 'Popo.' Then Vegeta realized he had met the bald guy a week earlier at his place. He had been busy moving his stuff, but Goku had introduced them.

"Alright Baldy, what am I supposed to be doing right now?" Vegeta asked Krillin knowing the nickname would annoy him. He had fun irritating people. Krillin gave him a slight grin and motioned for him to follow. He introduced Vegeta to Popo before making him a name tag. He tossed it to Vegeta who put it on without even looking at it. 'This ought to be interesting,' Krillin thought.

Launch came in followed shortly by Goku and Bulma. The blue haired Launch introduced herself to Vegeta before he started putting up the tapes that had been piled on the counter. Piccolo was the last one to show up and he was not looking very happy even for himself. 'Tonight's going to be fun,' Bulma thought as she rolled her eyes.

The night started off decent enough. Bulma set up a cash drawer for Vegeta and showed him how to navigate through their computer system. She was impressed when it only took a few customers for him to have it figured out. "That's good. At least I won't have to worry about him." She went back to pricing the new dvds that had come in. That was when he showed up. "Loyal fans, Mr. Satan has arrived." The words echoed throughout the store and Bulma cringed. Kami, she couldn't stand that man. Vegeta had a confused look on his face as the martial arts champion stood near the entrance and was signing autographs. Goku noticed the weird expression on his friend's face and decided to explain.

"Mr. Satan owns the store and occasionally he'll come in, sign autographs, and kind of see what's going on with the store. He thinks it boosts business or something." Vegeta nodded.

"Well that explains the stupid name at least." Then a very menacing grin spread its way across Vegeta's face. 'Maybe I can have some fun with this idiot,' he thought. Goku saw the look in his eyes and realized the inevitable.

"Vegeta, please don't get us fired. That's all I ask." Vegeta's grin got wider as he grabbed a stack of games and disappeared. Vegeta's head popped up over the row of tapes for sale as he spied on his prey. He sank back down and waited for the kids to get their autographs and get out of the way. He wasn't really hidden, though. His hair could still be seen over the shelves. Goku who was still behind the counter just laughed at the sight and wondered what Vegeta was going to do. At the end of the counter he started putting tapes in order so he would look busy and have a front row view of his roommate's torture.

As the group of small boys left the champ, Vegeta powered up a small ki ball at the end of his finger. It was strong enough to slightly burn someone, but not enough to do any real damage. Vegeta snickered as he shot it at Mr. Satan's ass. The big brute jumped six feet in the air tightly clutching himself. Vegeta sank back behind the row of shelves and laughed as he began putting the games back on the row behind him. Satan landed and was violently rubbing his butt trying to make the pain go away. He looked back and saw a hole in his cape. "I wonder what the hell did that." He scanned the area and found nothing suspicious, although he had no idea what he was looking for in the first place. He shrugged and went back to greeting the customers that entered the store.

Vegeta went back behind the counter to grab another stack of movies and smirked at Goku who was shaking his head and still trying not to laugh. "What was that all about?" Goku asked.

"Nothing in particular. That man just annoys the shit out of me. I'm not done with him yet, though. Does he usually stay long?"

"Depends. He'll stay as long as there are a lot of customers coming in."

"Well, he will be leaving early tonight I guarantee it." The look of pure evil amusement on Vegeta's face would have scared anyone to the point of wetting themselves. He left with his stack of movies in his hands and plans of torment swirling through his mind. He put them up and decided his super speed would be another fun advantage to utilize. This time he hid behind the tower that had used tapes for sale on it. Once the obsessed fools went to go pick out their movies, Vegeta faded out and reappeared behind Mr. Satan. He crouched down and knocked the large man's feet out from under him. The champ landed flat on his back. The dazed man came back to his senses and jumped up looking for his assailant. There was no one anywhere near him.

'What the hell is going on?' he wondered. Vegeta couldn't help but blast him in the ass again from behind the tower. His excitement got the best of him though, as he put a little too much into this one and sent his target flying into the side of the counter.

"Oh shit!" The attacker was on the other side of the store faster than a super saiyajin could blink. Although he hated working Vegeta still had to pay rent and didn't want to have to find another job just yet. "I need to be more careful. I don't want to accidentally kill the idiot. I'd be fired for sure."

Mr. Satan shook his head and pulled himself up from the rubble he was laying in.

His body ached, his ass was numb, and it was still smoking. "Damn it. I know I'm not going crazy. Someone must be playing tricks on me. That's it." Satisfied with his deduction, he looked to the damage done to the store. A section of particle board counter top had crumbled under the impact. It was still mostly there, but now it had a section the size of a person that was partially collapsed. He looked up at the closest employee, which was Goku. "Hey, you there. Clean this mess up before someone gets hurt," he ordered and resumed rubbing his butt.

Goku got the broom and swept up the broken pieces on the floor and put up a sign warning customers of the damage, as if the morons couldn't see it already, but if there wasn't a sign, someone would get hurt and then try to sue them. Vegeta then walked back behind the counter again. Goku was lightly mad at his over zealous roommate. "Man Vegeta, you could have really hurt someone." He rolled his eyes at the taller man and folded his arms over his chest.

"It was under my complete control Kakarotto. The only thing that got hurt was the stupid counter. That was pretty funny though. Even you have to admit that." Goku grinned at him and shook his head in exasperation. "Just remember what I said about us not getting fired okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah." With that, Vegeta turned back to the counter and realized there was nothing left to put up. "Now what do I do. I do not want to deal with these stupid people."

"You can empty the drop box over there. Just make sure all the items returned have the right thing inside and then check them in on the computer over here." Vegeta sat down on the stool next to the drop box and started going through the items that had been returned. He noticed that most of them had peculiar scents. Some smelled like popcorn, a couple smelled like weed, and one just stunk. He couldn't tell what it was but it was not pleasant. "Damn disgusting people," he mumbled. The next tape he grabbed was wet and his face contorted with disgust. Then he noticed the smell: beer. He went to go wash his hands. On his way to the back, he walked past the end cap that held the free AOL discs. 'One last round with the champ,' he thought as he grabbed one of the discs.

He hid behind the same tower of tapes. 'The idiot couldn't catch me if he wanted. There's really no need for creativity.' He again waited for the customers to get out of the line of fire before attacking. Once he had a clear shot, he sent the disc sailing towards the store owner at a frightening speed. With pinpoint accuracy it came into contact with.. his afro? The disc was rotating at such a speed that it shaved off the top portion of the champ's beloved 'fro. Vegeta did a slight victory dance before he remembered the disgusting germs on his hands and went to go wash them.

Mr. Satan had felt a slight breeze run through his hair and thought it was a little strange, but disregarded it. A young couple came up to get his autograph.

Always the gentleman, he bent over to kiss the young woman's hand. As he did so, his hair fell to the floor and the girl couldn't help but laugh. He stood back up, wondering what was so funny when he saw it. His hair! His wonderful hair! The champ fought back the tears as he looked to his curly fro on the floor with pieces of the particle board counter top still mixed in it. He managed to pick up the remains of his hair and held them tightly to his chest. He started wailing and ran out of the store. Bulma caught a glimpse of his skinned head as he exited and couldn't hold back the hysteric laughter that was taking over her body.

Piccolo had been having a bad night. He'd already had three psycho people bitching at him about late fees. Luckily Bulma intervened so he would not kill anyone. Aside from that, he just didn't want to be here anyway. Then someone said the worst possible thing you could say to Piccolo. "Hey Martian, how do you like it here?" His fangs were exposed. Veins began popping out everywhere and his green skin began to get a strange purple tint to it. His ki flared, and as he lept over the counter to rip the face off the asshole that said that, Goku grabbed him by the shoulders in an attempt to restrain him. The man was backing away as Piccolo advanced towards him, pulling a straining Goku with him. Bulma saw what was happening and ran over there as fast as she could.

"Sir, you need to leave now if you want to live," she told him nervously. She glanced back to notice Piccolo was right behind her, about to go into a fit of rage. "I'm..from..Namek..you moron," he growled in between breaths. "Now!" she repeated to the man. He was confused but he complied nonetheless.

"Namek!!!" he yelled at the man exiting the store. Piccolo stood there for a minute as his rage downgraded to just anger. "Screw this place. I'm leaving!" With that, he took off. Bulma didn't even care. She was just happy no one was in a bloody mangled mess on the floor.

Vegeta had walked back up to the front to find everyone a little tense. "What's going on Kakarotto?"

"Some guy assumed Piccolo was from Mars. That really pisses him off. He was going to kill him, but Bulma ran him off. Piccolo took off a little bit later."

"There isn't even life on Mars, stupid people. Too bad I missed that though." He grinned at the thought of Piccolo ripping some poor idiot a new asshole.

With Piccolo gone, Vegeta was stuck checking out customers and he was not happy.

He really did not like dealing with people, especially these people. They all just seemed so stupid. One woman joked about him being the new guy and he just glared at her. The menacing look offended her. "Don't get mad at me. You're the one wearing that name tag."

Vegeta gave her a quizzical look before inspecting the name tag Krillin had made for him. It said 'Be nice I'm the New Guy.' "Damn. I'll have to get Baldy back for that one," he laughed as he took the name tag off and threw it in the trash.

Things went pretty smoothly for a few hours until, "Hey Kakarotto. I'll be right back. I need to piss." He went into the break room and then into the connecting employee bathroom. Simultaneously, a couple found that the customer bathroom was unlocked. The girl gave her man a naughty look and they went inside. While taking care of business, he heard the customer bathroom door close. The two bathrooms shared a wall so it was easy to hear something as loud as the door closing. He did not expect to hear what followed. After he flushed the toilet, he heard a girl giggle. It was so clear; he could've sworn she was in the bathroom with him. She giggled again and this time he was able to pinpoint the location. It was coming from the drain in the floor.

"Weird," he said to himself. He started to leave when he heard the girl moan.

"What the hell?" Then he heard a man's voice, "Yeah, I know what you like."

"Holy shit! They're fucking in the bathroom." He left quietly, ran to the front of the store, and grabbed Goku. "You've got to hear this. It's hilarious." They went into the backroom. "Okay you have to be quiet," he said as he walked toward the bathroom. Goku looked at him questioningly.

"Oh come on." Vegeta rolled his eyes and they went in. Even though it was only intended for one person to use at a time, the bathroom was large enough that probably four people could comfortably stand in there. Vegeta pointed to the drain as he leaned against the wall. By that time there were various moaning and grunting sound coming from the drain. They both were snickering as quietly as possible.

"Oh sweet Kami. This is too much," Goku choked out.

Bulma and Launch were the only ones at the front counter and the line was starting to get long. A boy walked up to Bulma and asked to use the restroom. She nodded and got the key. 'Where in hell are Goku and Vegeta?' she thought as she looked at the long line of aggravated customers. It was policy to unlock the bathroom door for customers so they did not steal things, but it obviously doesn't work very well, considering the fact that the couple had found the door unlocked. In the other bathroom, Goku and Vegeta were rolling on the floor laughing that these people had the audacity to try something like this.

'Is that laughter?' the woman wondered. 'Must be some people in the store,' she concluded and turned her concentration to the task at hand (no pun intended.)

Bulma reached the bathroom door and knocked first before proceeding to unlock it. Goku jumped up "Someone just knocked on the door." Vegeta just smiled.

The couple inside knew the door was locked and didn't worry about it. They were both close to climax, so close in fact that neither heard the key inserted and the door knob turn. The two eavesdroppers heard a very loud "Holy shit!" and fell on the floor laughing again.

Bulma stared in shock at the partially clothed couple in the compromising position. The woman's weight was supported mostly by the sink, skirt hiked up, one leg wrapped around her lover's waist, and the other leg was in the air, supported by his hand under her knee. His pants were around his ankles and his back was to the door. Thankfully besides his ass, no other body parts were exposed to the two intruders. Bulma came out of her shock a few seconds later and immediately covered the boy's eyes. It was probably pointless by then, but her instincts had kicked in. "Sorry kid. It appears to be occupied right now."

As the door was closing, she heard the laughter from the drain. Her embarrassment immediately turned to anger as she stormed into the employee bathroom. She found Vegeta and Goku laughing hysterically using each other for support, so they wouldn't fall again. "You two, back to work NOW!!!!!"

Bulma marched back up to the front of the store followed closely by two Saiyajin who were wiping the tears from their eyes in between laughs. At that point,

Launch was the only person checking out and the line had grown all the way to the back of the store. The four employees somehow got the line back down to a reasonable size before Roshi came in. He was a gold card member, which means all he does is watch movies all the time, mainly soft porn in his case, since the store did not carry the hardcore kind. He knows everyone by name because he comes in almost everyday. He stood looking at the busted countertop before motioning for Goku to come over toward him.

"Hey Goku. You got any new movies in? You know which ones I like, right?" the dirty old man asked making sure none of the other customers heard him.

"Yeah I know which ones you're talking about. Hold on and I'll see if we have any that just came in. Hey Bulma do we have any new dirty movies?" he yelled across the store. His three coworkers fell anime style and the line of customers sweat dropped. Roshi's sunglasses hid the red tint his cheeks had acquired, and he snuck away from the counter as if no one knew it was he who had asked for such a thing.

"Goku, you really can be dense sometimes," Bulma scolded.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you don't yell all the way across the store asking about porn." He looked at her and scratched the back of his head. "Oh never mind Goku. Get back to work."

It was almost time for close and all the customers had already left. Bulma decided to start cleaning off the counter while the others were straightening the items on the shelves. As she was picking a tape up from behind one of the computer monitors, she noticed how dusty it was. 'This is not good for the computers. I guess I'll have to dust.' Since Launch was out in the middle of the store, she figured it was safe. Goku and Vegeta had finished first and were looking at a magazine (not one of those) when Launch came back up to the front.

Bulma had finished cleaning some time ago, but the dust had been stirred up and

Launch's nose began to itch. Vegeta had been commenting on how the woman on the cover was skanky and such when Launch sneezed.

"Oh mama," was all Bulma could say before the shit hit the fan. Launch pulled out a machine gun and proceeded to rid herself of these pig-headed men. Goku and

Vegeta were too engrossed in their magazine to even notice Launch had sneezed, not that it would've meant anything to Vegeta, but at least Goku could've warned him. They were caught completely off guard, however, and the two ended up covered in bruises. When the gunfire ceased, Bulma peeked up from behind the desk to assess the damage. Luckily her friend and coworker were okay. "Good thing they're Saiyajin," she said partially relieved. Launch still had blonde hair and was a force to be reckoned with. Bulma quickly took the feather duster from the counter and shook it in front of Launch's face. Dust flew everywhere and Vegeta looked on in wonder as the strange woman sneezed again, turning her hair back to blue.

"Oh my, what did I do this time? I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it Launch. I should've known better than to dust when you're here," Bulma laughed nervously. 'Thank Kami that's over,' she thought. "So you guys ready to call it a night?" Everyone got up and clocked out as Bulma entered the alarm code. They went outside and Bulma locked the door. Vegeta was still rubbing the bruises the bullets had left on him and he turned to ask Goku, "What the hell is wrong with that woman?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you on the way home." Vegeta nodded, and they took to the air as Bulma and Launch left in their vehicles.