Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Schedule ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

A/N: Hmm . . . well, like I said, a typical day for the androids. Only made into a humor. Trunks would be so mad at me for making his living nightmare into a humor. I loved writing this anyway. It's mostly dialogue though, I'd say. R&R!

There was a cramp in her neck as she sat up, curling a lip in distaste and wondering why they'd been asleep on the ground when she saw the dirt on the front of her skirt. She so needed a new one.

Beside her, Juunanagou was flopped onto his stomach, his black hair sprawled across the side of his face, snoring quite loudly.

She rolled her neck and yawned, combing through the blonde tresses with her fingers before standing and nudging her brother somewhat lightly with the tip of one brown boot.

"Hey, Juunana, wakey-wakey."

He mumbled something incoherent, swatting uselessly at her before going back to sleep.

Juuhachigou gritted her teeth. She hated to be ignored. "Hey! Wake up, Juunana! Get up, up, up, you lazy bastard."

Her twin turned over tiredly, moaning about how she should get outta his face with her morning breath.

She kicked him hard that time. "Shut up and get up. It's nine thirty, breakfast. We've got a schedule to keep."

Juunanagou then sat up and stretched, dusting of the front of his black T-shirt. "Uh, huh."

It was the same everyday, the schedule. Nine thirty to ten was breakfast. Ten to one was terrorize those pitiable humans. One to one twenty-five was about when that annoying, purple-headed kid with the metal stick came to pester them about how he was going to avenge his father and his mother's friends. And then one twenty-five to one fifty was when they pummeled him into the dirt. And, subsequently, they had the rest of the day to themselves.

The twins then took to the grayish skies, locating the nearest muffin place. They had too much to do to just sit down and eat pancakes.

Juuhachigou poked her brother in the arm, the wind blowing both their hair back, as she stared down at the rubble and dust below. Hats off to them on that one. "Hey. Wasn't there someplace to eat around here, somewhere?"

Juunanagou looked thoughtful for second, and then grinned. "No. We blew that place up, remember?"

She laughed cynically at the memory. "Oh, yeah. Where the manager was gonna give us fifty percent off if we didn't destroy him. Fifty percent off! Like we needed it."

"Ha, ha, ha, and their food was all burnt and ashy. Kinda like the building when we were done with it."

The two burst into a fit of immoral giggles, changing direction for a different food place.

Below them, Juuhachigou could hear several screams and see people pointing and scattering.

"It feels good to be famous."

"Doesn't it?"

When her stomach gave it's first growl, she flashed her brother an annoyed glare. "Where did you say this place was again?"

"Hmmm." His pale blue eyes scanned the land beneath them. "Umm, oh, yeah, there was a Marty's Muffins joint somewhere around here . . . ."

And then he froze, the truth dawning on them both. "Oooohhh . . . we trashed that place too."

But pretty soon anyway, they discovered this tacky looking eatery (like this— this Western zone with swingy, little doors and everything) and Juuhachigou found herself asking, "What the hell are we doing here?"

But Juunanagou was grinning and everything, twirling his pistol between his fingers like a total tool, nodding to everyone.

And of course, nobody was nodding back, just suddenly standing up and rushing to the doorway, screaming, "Oh my gosh, it's the androids! They're here to kill us all!"

Which they weren't. They were there for breakfast. And then to kill them all.

Juuhachigou followed Juunanagou's lead and walked up to the front counter, the man behind it twitching in cowering in a disgusting way that made Juuhachigou think, "I am so murdering this guy afterward." Yeah, and she'd make sure his blood splattered against those glasses he'd been working so hard to keep clean with some cheap piece o' cloth.

The man was pressing himself tightly against the back wall. "W-what do you w-want?"

Juunanagou shrugged. "Muffins. Blueberry. Four. You do have them, right?"

The guy was nodding, his breath hitching in his throat. "Yeah. Yes. We have them. Let me . . . Let me go get them."

He turned around, but not before Juuhachigou noticed something shifty in his eyes.

"Little weasel's gonna bolt."

And no sooner than she'd said those words, the man leapt over the counter and thrust his hand forward to shove past her.

His hand ended up somewhere else . . . .

Juunanagou whistled. "Oh, man, you're so dead."

And Juuhachigou punched the guy in the face, feeling his nose completely shatter beneath her fist, his gross, warm blood getting all over her perfect, porcelain hand while he let out a horrified scream.

Her brother looked excited. "Can I— can I help?"

"Yeah. Make sure those glasses are nearby when I blow him to bits."

And she placed a hand on his hairy, sweaty chest (humans were so goddamn repulsive), charging her energy while he pathetically sobbed to just end him quickly—seriously, did he want to die?—, clutching his broken nose.

His shrieks echoed in her ears, pleasurable satisfaction, as her ki heated up, the burning flesh scent wafting through her nostrils, his chest expanding from pressure.

And then Juunanagou smirked as the man's guts spurted across the counter, across the glasses, across Juuhachigou, going, "Pop goes the weasel."

Juuhachigou shook her hair and jacket free of blood and glanced at the sprayed glasses. Three of them were half full. "Cool, Juunana, it looks like fruit punch."

"Thick fruit punch!"

After letting loose a couple of heartless snickers, the duo examined the restaurant.

Juunanagou scowled, kicking over a stool. "Doubt this grungy place even had a few muffins!" He blasted a wall out, loving the sound of the explosion and splintering of wood. "Hey, Juuhachi, let's see how many things we can destroy in this bistro."

His sister shot at the light swinging from above. "One light."

He fired at three glasses. "Three glasses."

A table was ruined. "One table."

A window was smashed. "One window. And it was a long one . . . really big. That counts, like, five points, right?"

"No." Another wall was blasted down.

Five tables detonated at once. "Oh, oh, didja see that? Five! Betcha wish you could do that, sis."

The rest of the windows blew up. "Actually, I don't."

And then there were shots that fired at nothing in particular, like fireworks going haywire.

Bam! "Look how that lighted! The fire was purple!"

Kaboom! "Ha, ha, ha, the guy's head just ricocheted off the wall!"

Boom! "Ouch, was that your blast?"

"I had nothing else to shoot at."

The whole place was demolished after, like, ten minutes.

"Hey, Juunanagou, remember how that cake went? Kabluey. Let's see some humans go like that."

"Right behind ya, sis."

The two then emerged from the hole in the roof and landed on the rough street staring down the people who were fleeing from the scene.

Juunanagou beamed a woman who was carrying a baby in the back. "Where do you think you're going?"

The child plunked to the ground, wailing, until Juuhachigou brought the heel of a booted foot into it's chest.

"Baby chests are weirdly soft, Juunanagou."

"I know, right?"

Somebody's shoe bonked off Juunanagou's chest. He threw it back at someone with such force, it rendered them unconscious.

"A shoe? Seriously?"

And the androids continued to flare at houses, cities, and people, enjoying their screams and dishonorable begging until several rock-like things pinged off their backs.

"Is . . . is somebody shooting at us?"

"This is the time that a town militia usually shows up. What town is this anyway?"

"Androids, give up! This is the town militia!"

"See?"

Several tanks and jets showed up, releasing rockets and missiles that could be disintegrated with one, lazy flick of the wrist.

Juuhachigou flew up and grabbed at wing of a plane, throwing it into a helicopter. Six parachuted men emerged, in which Juunanagou fired mercilessly at, claiming that it helped his aim by targeting moving objects.

He grinned viciously. "Bulls-Eye. Right in the forehead."

And then they both caused tanks to explode with their unlimited amounts of ki, luckily getting a lot of citizens and structures caught in the explosion.

The wails and booms from below were like music to their ears.

In next to no time, the "town militia" was defeated, just some pieces of scrap metal left.

Juunanagou turned to his sister, shaking his head. "Wow. Town militaries aren't what they used to be."

The blonde agreed. "There used to be bombs."

The two of them then marveled over their destruction— "Oh, yeah, that was me who knocked that bridge over!"— basically sitting in the sky.

"Hmm." Juuhachigou examined the area with alert, blue eyes. "Wonder where Blondie's little brother's at? Trunks, was it? He's due for a visit."

Her brother shrugged, barraging absently at the sky, watching his manmade fireworks. "Yeah, he's tons of fun to mess with . . . but one day without him wouldn't hurt. We can get more cities over with without him interfering."

Juuhachigou frowned at him. "Yes, it would hurt. It'd throw off the whole schedule."

"Schedule, shmedule. What's the deal with following it, anyway?"

"I told you, the deal is doing what we say we're gonna do!"

Juunanagou glanced at her, raising a black eyebrow. "Jeez, you are uptight, Juuhachi."

And just when Juuhachigou was about to snarl at him and possibly choke him with that stupid tangerine scarf, something banged into her back, sizzling against the bottom of the R's on her jean vest.

"Juunanagou, I swear if that was you who just ru—!"

"No, nah, nah, that wasn't me, I promise!"

They both looked up, noticing that same lavender-haired, weapon-carrying little brat. He was clenching his fists, his head bowed in what seemed like fury, mumbling things under his breath.

"Well, sis, he actually showed up."

"But what's he saying?"

"I dunno. Ask him."

But before she could say anything, Trunks screamed out, "You androids! You've gone way too far this time!" Which made her wonder why it was only now they'd gone too far when her and Juunana had been doing that all along.

The twins exchanged interested glances as he unsheathed a sword that looked way too heavy for him.

"I keep wondering how he repairs that all the time. We're just gonna break it again."

"Yeah, and it's weighing him down. Maybe he should get a lighter—?"

But before Juunanagou could finish his sentence, the blade came crashing into his shoulder with a metallic pang along with a hooligan-like shout.

The dark-haired android staggered back in surprise, whereas Trunks looked as if he'd dislocated an arm with that attack.

While Trunks piteously started caressing his arm socket, Juuhachigou took that chance to roundhouse kick him across the neck, a move from her that would've probably killed any human, but damn this Saiyan.

But it sent him spinning to the left, to say the least.

Trunks came back, though, striking and slashing with that overgrown knife that could be easily avoided, huffing out some terribly played out threats, "I'll kill you murderers! I swear I will, on my father's name! On my mother's name! On her friends' name! I will slay you both, androids!" Not with that sword, he would.

He hacked at them in a sorrowful, determined way that made them want to laugh. He sliced at them even when they blocked, just wasting out his energy while theirs went on forever.

And then he blinked as if realizing that a blade wasn't ever going to harm them, (How smart of him) and shoved it back into it's scabbard, his hair going golden, eyes turning a turquoise color.

His fist then slammed into Juuhachigou's nose. When she stepped back, stunned, he punched her in the stomach. Hard. It even hurt a little bit. That little punk-ass was gonna pay.

Before she could place her revenge, though, her brother cut in and did that exact same move she'd done to knock that Gohan guy into a window a while back, sending Trunks flying again.

She resisted clutching her stomach. "Copycat."

Juunanagou smirked. "You're welcome." His expression then changed. "Hmm, well he's gotten better with melee. Better than with that sword, actually."

Juuhachigou clenched her fists, ready to charge after that son of a bitch. "I learned that. The Super Saiyan shithead."

"Let's go get him, then."

"Mmhn."

The siblings dashed after the now blonde-headed-knock-off kid, who looked somewhat surprised that they'd pursued him, as they'd usually left him to lay there in the dirt awhile to catch his breath before he attacked them again.

Juuhachigou took a swing at him first, knocking him around like a ball she wanted to stay in place. She popped him across his jaw and snap kicked him in the abdomen.

A sadistic smile graced her face when his mouth filled with blood, Trunks crying out in anguish.

The sneer left when he spit clot out on the front of her shirt.

The blonde looked down at it, slimy, bubbly, but visible on the black part of her top. Damn, the guy had a death wish.

She flicked his neck back with the palm of her hand, causing him to fall pathetically onto his butt, glaring at her with sea-green eyes.

Juuhachigou cracked a taunting smirk. "Well, that looked like it hurt."

Still that blue-green glower. "I'll kill you both. But you especially, Juuhachigou. You'll die first, you Kamidamn bitch."

She blinked, stating sarcastically, "The little, angel cursed."

Juunanagou scowled. "He thinks you're more badass than me. Let me get a shot at him and show him who's boss."

His sister shrugged, tagging his shoulder. "You're up."

Before Trunks could even move, the dark-haired android knocked his fist into his probably-already-broken jaw. When the Saiyan screamed in agony, he grabbed him by his yellow spikes, grating his face into the ground.

His twin whistled from the sidelines. "Hey, no hair-pulling, Juunana. That's bitch fighting right there."

Her brother winked. "Ha, you should know."

A look of surprise then crossed her face. "Hey, Juunanagou, pay atten—!"

A black-panted knee nearly jabbed into his stomach, but the male cyborg had impulsively turned around, catching an astonished Trunks by the leg. "Ah, ah, ah."

He swung Trunks into the stones, his face shedding blood from his bruises and scrapes.

The teen groaned miserably, his hair falling back to normal. "Damn you both."

At least that's what it'd sounded like he said. Nobody could understand him with that dislocated jaw. Hats off, again, to them on that.

The twins both gave him a swift kick to the ribs, causing Trunks to flip onto his back, where he was hopefully more understandable.

"What was that?" Juunanagou teased. "We sort of missed it."

"Damn you androids," He mumbled again, attempting to get back on his feet.

Juuhachigou cupped a hand over her ear, grinning provokingly. "Huh? Can you please repeat that? What about us androids?"

"Yeah, what'd you say about us? That we're stronger than you and always will be? That you're always gonna get a pounding from us? That you could never beat us?" Juunana snickered coldly. "Hey, we already know all that, you idiot. No need to voice it."

Well that seemed to bite at him. Trunks stood right up after that, his hair spiking up again, his aura flaring, him shrieking at them, "DAMN YOU MONSTERS! DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU! I WILL DESTROY YOU BOTH!"

The cyborgs jumped back, startled. They'd understood that.

Juuhachigou frowned, sighing. "Crap. Well, I'd really hoped his energy had diminished by now."

Her brother shifted his shoulders. "Well, what's it gonna take?"

Trunks was charging toward them, his sword unleashed again, and screaming gibberish. He jabbed at both of them with his blade, in which they ducked under, blasting him square in the chest.

Where he spiraled backward, landing into the dust. His eyes were closed, his hair lavender and mussed. Trunks was down for the count.

The blonde android raised a brow. "Well, apparently that."

Juunanagou nodded. "I guess so. So whatcha wanna do now?"

His sister's eyes lit up. "Let's go to the amusement park again. I bet they've rebuilt it. Our last time was ruined by those guys who harassed us to follow their dumb rules."

Her twin agreed. "Yeah, they'll think twice this time."

And the siblings blasted off into the air, in search of the amusement park that they hoped was re-established.

A/N: Well, this was so much fun to write. I hope you liked it. Comments please!