Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Shadows of the Past ❯ Need ( Chapter 11 )

Need

They landed on Goku's doorstep a short time later, both weary and aching as Goku opened the door and moved aside, allowing Vejiita to pass through. The prince stepped inside slowly, dragging himself into the kitchen, the interior of the house dim as the light outside faded.

Goku followed, shutting the door behind them and flicking on a light, both squinting slightly as their eyes adjusted. Slowly, Vejiita stripped off his blood-spattered leather jacket, wincing at the movement as he draped it over the back of his chair. The white of his shirt was spotted with crimson and streaked with sweat, his jeans torn in various places and dark bruises beginning to mar his skin. Goku wasn't in much better shape, grunting as he kicked off his shoes and moved toward Vejiita. For long moments an awkward silence stretched between them as they both realized what had been said. Vejiita stood beside the table, his gaze unfocused as he looked blankly at the grain of the wood. Goku remained several feet away, glancing at him from time to time and shifting his weight uncomfortably as he tried to find something to say to the prince. In the end he shied from the issue once more.

"Uh," he said finally, keeping his voice quiet, "I guess we should clean up. We both need to shower. You can go first, Vejiita, I'll grab you some towels and stuff, and-"

"No." Vejiita shook his head. "You go, Kakarrot, this is your home. I'll wait. It's just as well this way...."

Goku hesitated, torn between backing down and insisting that Vejiita receive his comfort first.

Vejiita sighed, muscles in his shoulders flexing as he stretched them slightly, tipping his head back and looking at the ceiling briefly. "Go, Kakarrot."

Submitting to the prince's will, Goku quietly left the kitchen, making his way to his room to find himself some clean clothing. Snatching a pair of loose, comfortable pants, he continued on to the bathroom, distracted by thoughts of Vejiita, his mind slowly going over everything the prince had said to him. He had known, in a rather vague way, that Vejiita's past must have been terrible, but he had never actually tried to visualize what must have gone on before.

Frowning, he eased into the shower, closing his eyes briefly as the hot water struck his skin, rinsing away dried blood and loosening aching muscles. Gathering up the bar of soap, he worked up a lather between his hands, looking blankly at the foaming suds, his mind elsewhere.

If he was honest with himself, he knew that he had never really considered what Vejiita must have done before they had met. Again, it was a vague understanding that the prince's actions... had been horrific, but he hadn't cared to really think about it. But when Vejiita had spoken... He could almost feel the rage, the old hatred radiating from the smaller Saiya-jin, the merciless cruelty that had allowed him to kill thousands. It might have frightened him. It had disturbed him, a little. But he had known, had realized, that it was only the memory of past feelings, an echo of what had been. Caught up in the remembering, Vejiita had again felt what he had experienced back then. The prince was passionate; he was ferociously intense, and... in some ways the memories had not faded with time. But despite everything, despite all he had done, how could Goku blame him? With everything... everything that had happened to him, everything he had suffered....

Goku turned off the shower, bracing himself against the wall for a moment with his head bowed as he stood, dripping. He closed his eyes, swallowing the disgust, the revulsion that rose in his throat as he thought of Vejiita's past... Little better than slavery, really.

God, I don't know, I.... I never thought....

It had never occurred to him, how much Frieza might have used Vejiita. Somehow it seemed impossible to think of the prince, his prince, being forced to.... It was nearly impossible to think of Vejiita, as he knew him, as an adult, being raped. Everything else paled in the face of such an event. He could forgive him... knowing what he had suffered.

Stepping out of the shower, Goku quickly dried off, scrubbing the towel through his hair and leaving it tousled as he drew on his pants and left the bathroom, pausing to retrieve several clean towels. Slipping quietly down the hallway, he paused when he came to the kitchen, his heart tightening with gentle emotion.

Vejiita had seated himself at the table, his body hunched over and his forehead pillowed in his arms, his tail softly trailing against the floor. Goku felt his throat tighten unexpectedly and swallowed, shaking his head slightly at his sentimentality. Still, he approached the prince quietly, pausing when he was directly behind the chair.

"Vejiita," he said softly, not wanting to startle him, before briefly touching the Saiya-jin's shoulder.

Vejiita's head lifted and for a moment he looked up at Goku, pain naked in his eyes, the feeling actually brushing Goku's thoughts, before he shielded himself, rising to his feet. For a moment Goku simply looked at him, distracted by the emotion, then roused himself slightly, offering him the towels. Vejiita seemed to hesitate for a moment, then accepted them with a faint nod, turning toward the bathroom.

Once the prince had gone, Goku looked absently around the kitchen, his thoughts still dwelling moodily on Vejiita and his past, trying to find something to do while he waited. His eyes settled on Vejiita's jacket, still draped over the back of the chair, and he nodded slightly, moving to the sink and wetting a clean dishcloth. Ringing just enough water out that it wasn't dripping, he returned to the table and sat down, pulling Vejiita's jacket over to himself and beginning to carefully wipe off the dust and blood acquired during their fight. He began working his way up one of the sleeves, looking intently at what he was doing while thinking carefully about what Vejiita had said.

My God... How did he live? How does he live? No wonder... No wonder he wanted to die... What has it been like for him? He's so alone and he's... And it's no wonder he never trusted anyone, would never let anyone get close to him... Goku smoothed the dishcloth over the front of the jacket, leaving a trail of clean leather amidst the dust. God, I'm so afraid... I'm afraid to hurt him, afraid to lose him. I don't know what to do. How can I help him? How can I show him... that life can be worth it?

Swallowing, Goku continued to clean Vejiita's jacket, eventually finishing with the leather and beginning to polish the zipper and clasps, just needing something to do with his hands. Bending over, he brought his face close to his work, trying to make sure he cleared away all the blood that might be clinging in the ridges and dips of the metal.

"Kakarrot...?"

Goku jumped slightly, jerking upright in startlement, then turning toward the hallway to look at Vejiita. His eyes widened briefly before he masked the expression, and he felt his mouth go dry.

The prince was standing just inside the kitchen, wearing nothing but a towel that he held closed at the waist, little droplets of water still clinging to his shoulders and stomach and sparkling in his hair as very faint clouds of steam rose from his slightly flushed skin.

Goku stifled a hiss, feeling an undeniable tightening low in his abdomen, and quickly turned away for a moment, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Mentally slapping himself, he exhaled slowly, then turned around to face Vejiita again, keeping his expression neutral.

"Em, yeah?"

Vejiita frowned, a bit of his typical attitude returning as he gave Goku a look that said, 'you have got to be kidding.' Then he glanced down at himself and shrugged before looking at Goku again.

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Here, come over here," he said quietly, mentally berating himself. Of course he doesn't have anything to wear, dumbass. He shook his head at himself. Unless he wants to put on the bloody shreds he was wearing before. You're standing there gawking at him like he was a piece of prize meat and all he wants is to put on some clothes.

Leaving Vejiita's jacket on the table, Goku moved past the prince, forcing himself not to let his gaze wander over the other's body, and headed down the hallway, hearing Vejiita's barely-audible footsteps as the prince followed him. Reaching his bedroom he slipped inside, walking to his dresser and beginning to dig through his drawers looking for something Vejiita could wear. He looked in dismay at all of his large, loose clothing, knowing that his pants would barely stay on Vejiita. And he did not need to follow that thought any further. Finally, stuffed in one of his bottom drawers he found an old pair of soft, black sweatpants that he had outgrown years ago, but had failed to get rid of and pulled them out. He began to rise and offer them to the prince, then hesitated a moment, realizing that, given Vejiita's current state of mind, he might desire something a bit more. Turning back, he pulled out a large, grey T-shirt, then twisted around and made his way to Vejiita, who was standing silently beside one of the walls.

"Here. I hope these will work, um..." He shrugged helplessly, holding the clothes out to the prince, who slowly took them. Goku stepped back slightly. Then he smiled a little as he realized he hadn't thought of something. "Don't worry about the pants. Feel free to make a hole for your tail."

Vejiita's gaze flickered to him briefly, and for a moment he couldn't look away. The prince's eyes... They were so different. The normal hostility, the anger, the pride... It was all burned away to reveal a harsh emptiness, held together by a will that seemed, at this moment, as fragile as glass. Swallowing tightly, Goku bit his lip to keep from speaking, turning away from the prince and facing the opposite wall. It didn't occur to him to leave the room as his mind frantically looked for the right thing to say.

Taking a slow, calming breath, he forced his anxiety out, forced himself to relax. Vejiita was here now, and there was no reason to panic. Nothing was going to happen to the prince tonight.

But, God... he wondered, hearing the soft rustle of the towel dropping to the floor, I... did I do the right thing, by beating him? I know he would never have wanted me to let him win but I... I was losing... Until I... I needed to defeat him? Why? What if it was a mistake, what if I've destroyed him beyond any hope now? Why did I have to beat him..?

Goku shook his head, sighing. He didn't even understand himself, how could he hope to understand the prince?

He looked down at the carpet beneath his feet, listening, and after a moment risked a glance over his shoulder. When his eyes found Vejiita a soft smile pulled at his lips, in spite of himself.

Vejiita had indeed taken his advice and burned a hole in Goku's pants with a small exertion of ki, and his tail curled softly behind him. The pants, while too small for Goku, were still easily too big for the prince, and the ends were rather bunched up around his ankles, nearly hiding his bare feet. The grey T-shirt hung down to the middle of Vejiita's thighs and the sleeves reached his elbows. He still stood by the wall, his dark eyes hard to make out in the dim light as he looked back at Goku.

Slowly, Goku took several steps forward, then paused again. When he spoke his voice was quiet, as though to speak louder would break some kind of spell. "Vejiita, do you want to sleep here? I can take the couch, it's not a problem."

For long moments Vejiita said nothing, returning his gaze silently. Then he dropped his head slightly, glancing at the bed before looking at Goku again. "No, I... It is your bed, Kakarrot. I... can sleep elsewhere."

Goku shook his head. "No, I... I want you to stay here, Vejiita. Please, take it." He moved towards the door slightly, intent on escaping in an attempt to force Vejiita to take the room, then paused, looking back at the prince.

Vejiita still stood beside the wall, leaning against it now, his head down as his arms wrapped across his chest. He looked... so completely alone.

Goku closed his eyes briefly, torn. Finally he released a soft sigh. He could not go, not without saying something, without trying... to make things right.

He stepped toward Vejiita, moving until he was only a few feet away from the prince, looking at him quietly. After several moments of strained indecision, he spoke, his voice very soft.

"Vejiita... please, I want..." The prince didn't look at him, remaining silent against the wall. He was just so different, so quiet, and Goku wanted.... wanted so badly... He was afraid that anything he said would be wrong, but he was afraid to leave... Something he didn't understand, something told him that leaving was a mistake.

How can I show him...?

Goku stilled suddenly, the thought echoing through his mind. How could he show him... Words weren't right right now. There was nothing he could say. Goku's body tightened. Slowly, ignoring the common sense clamoring that he was making a huge error, he stepped toward Vejiita, aching with emotion. Reaching out, he softly cupped Vejiita's cheek in his hand, feeling the prince flinch slightly, and tipped the Saiya-jin's head up, tilting it to the side, until Vejiita was meeting his gaze. Bringing up his other hand, he captured Vejiita's face between them.

The prince's eyes were dark and liquid, gazing up into his, filled with desperate pain, and... something else. Goku searched his face, looking for a sign, something that would tell him what Vejiita wanted. The look Vejiita was giving him... the prince needed something, there was something... he didn't understand. He would do anything if he could only ease Vejiita's pain.

Vejiita's eyes fluttered closed for a moment before he looked at Goku again, and his gaze was nearly pleading. Please... Goku's thumbs softly brushed Vejiita's cheekbones. He loved him so much, and he didn't know how to tell him. He just wanted Vejiita... to feel it...

He brushed their lips together softly, kissing Vejiita's mouth gently, waiting for the slightest hint that the prince didn't want this. A very faint sound escaped Vejiita's throat, a quiet 'ah', and for a moment he did nothing, his lips soft and unresisting against Goku's. Then, very slowly, Vejiita began to kiss him back. The prince was hesitant, uncertain, and Goku kissed him more fully, nipping at Vejiita's lips, caressing his mouth, feeling the heated rush of the prince's unsteady breath. Very softly, he eased his tongue into Vejiita's mouth, his movements slow, achingly gentle. He heard Vejiita give a short, jagged breath, felt him trembling, and let his arms drop downward, pulling the prince fully against him.

His own lips parted in a surprised gasp as the other Saiya-jin's body touched his. Vejiita was aroused, already, he could feel the prince's body aching with need, could hear it in the trembling breaths Vejiita released. He didn't know why, didn't understand why Vejiita wanted him now, what had happened, but it didn't matter. He let the thought fade, his hands sliding downward to curve around Vejiita's buttocks, pulling the prince more firmly against him. Vejiita released a choked moan and Goku opened his eyes slightly, watching the prince's head fall backward as his lips parted.

He's so beautiful...

Desperate to give Vejiita what he needed, Goku rocked his hips against the prince's, the friction making both of them gasp. Vejiita's hands tightly gripped his upper arms as the prince breathed through parted lips, his eyes closed against flushed cheeks.

Breathing shallowly, Goku eased his hands away from Vejiita, hearing the prince's slight sound of protest, then rested his grip against Vejiita's waist. Shifting slightly, he pressed Vejiita's legs apart with his knee, bringing his thigh against Vejiita's groin. Vejiita made a short, bitten-off sound, his hips arching forward instinctively before the prince tightened his body, fighting to keep still. Goku growled softly, refusing to let Vejiita hold himself back, and slowly began to move his thigh, rubbing rhythmically against Vejiita's erection. Vejiita's back arched and his breath came in short, ragged bursts; soft, desperate whimpers escaping him under the constant stimulation. Slowly, never ceasing the motion of his leg, Goku slid his hands beneath Vejiita's shirt, lightly brushing the prince's quivering stomach. Knowing instinctively not to tease, Goku lifted his fingers to Vejiita's nipples, messaging them softly, feeling them tighten and hearing the prince give a short, ragged cry, his hands sliding up to grip Goku's shoulders.

Feeling Vejiita beginning to thrust slightly against his thigh, Goku dropped his hand, catching the hem of Vejiita's shirt. Wrapping his other arm around Vejiita's waist, he pulled him away from the wall slightly, drawing the shirt over the prince's head. It fell silently from his fingers as he smoothed his hands up Vejiita's sides, a soft sound escaping him at the feel of the prince's skin beneath his palms. Lowering his head, he kissed Vejiita's collarbone, then let his mouth slip down the curve of Vejiita's chest. He could feel Vejiita's short, gasping breaths, his knee slipping from between Vejiita's thighs as he bent lower. Vejiita made a near-agonized sound and Goku stroked gently down his back, then brought his lips to Vejiita's nipple. Vejiita's body jerked as he nipped at the sensitive bud, his fingers tightening on Goku's shoulders. When Goku massaged his tongue over it, then began to suckle strongly, Vejiita released a ragged moan, his hands sliding upward to thread through Goku's hair.

Goku released a harsh breath, hearing the soft, desperate sounds escaping Vejiita's throat. Grazing Vejiita's nipple with his teeth, Goku slowly brushed his fingers along the waistband of the sweatpants the prince was wearing. Vejiita needed more, he wanted more, that much was clear, but Goku... was afraid...

I'll do something wrong... He'll change his mind, I...

Vejiita's fingers tightened in his hair and Goku closed his eyes for a moment, his lips still against the prince's nipple. Slowly, very slowly, he eased his fingers beneath the soft black material, his palms slipping downward until he was cupping Vejiita's hips, skin against skin. He felt Vejiita's breathing hitch, his hands splaying against Goku's head, but the prince didn't push him away. Carefully, Goku drew the pants downward, hearing Vejiita's breath come harsh and fast as he gently uncovered him.

Sinking downward until he was kneeling before the prince, Goku softly cupped the back of Vejiita's knee, a slight pressure urging him to lift his foot, and a moment later Goku let the clothing drop from his fingers.

*****

Vejiita could feel tiny, nervous tremors wracking him as Kakarrot touched their lips together, the other Saiya-jin's mouth very soft against his. He had been waiting, waiting for Kakarrot to leave, and he had felt... so alone. And he had wanted what he couldn't have, what he didn't deserve... He wanted what he feared. He was desperate, and so very, very lonely...

And he was here now, the only other person in the universe who was like him, the last person who could possibly understand him, understand what it was like... And he wanted... to be touched, he wanted to be wanted, even if it was only for the briefest moment. He wanted to be able to pretend that it was possible for him, to have what he had seen so many others share. If Kakarrot would show him, just for a moment, he would never ask for anything again.

He thought of their fight, how Kakarrot had beaten him. Just for a moment, he'd thought he would win, until the other Saiya-jin had turned on him with astonishing power... And he had been defeated again. But, somehow, his loss... it was not... what he had expected.

Vejiita's breathing caught as Kakarrot's tongue eased between his lips, slipping warmly into his mouth. He felt the heat in his body, knew that he wanted... The tremors were sweeping him more violently now, and he fought to be still, not to betray what he felt, but then Kakarrot's arms were around him, and the other Saiya-jin pulled him against his chest.

His breathing was quick and shuddering as he felt the hardness of Kakarrot's body pressed to his, and he wanted it... He wanted it so badly...

Oh God, please... Please, for just one moment let me feel, let me understand... But I'm afraid... I know that I'm weak but... help me, please...

He had never, never experienced such a need, the yearning he felt for Kakarrot. With Bulma it had never been like this, it had been fast and rough and frantic. He had been in control, he had taken her... He had not hurt her. He knew, he knew that much. But it had come close, terribly close. She never knew how very near he had been, the craving that had filled him, just to hurt... To do to her what had been done to him. But he couldn't, he couldn't, and he stopped himself.

Now he was not in control. Kakarrot had him, he would take him, he would do to him... whatever it was he wanted... Vejiita wanted it, he deserved it... He was the weaker, Kakarrot had beaten him... He wanted the other Saiya-jin to take him, and he was terrified. But he didn't think... he thought that Kakarrot, maybe, would not hurt him.

Goku's fingers skimmed down his sides, sliding around to cup his buttocks through his pants, pulling them tightly together, and Vejiita gasped, his head falling back as his eyes closed, pleasure lancing through him at the contact.

Yes.... this... this is what I don't understand... Why can he touch me and make me feel this way? No one else, no one ever...

Vejiita gasped, blindly gripping Goku's arms as the other Saiya-jin rocked toward him, rubbing their groins together.

I... I...

Vejiita stifled the moan that rose in his throat, unwilling to let it escape, but then, as Goku's hands fell away from him, a soft protest slipped from him without thought.

No, I want... I want this...

But a moment later Vejiita could feel Goku's knee, pressing against him, forcing his legs apart, and then the other Saiya-jin was leaning toward him, and Vejiita released a short cry as Goku's thigh pressed against him. He jerked forward instinctively, into the touch, then abruptly pulled himself back, unwilling, even now, to let Kakarrot know how deeply he was affecting him.

I can't... can't feel. I can't let him touch me like this... I need... I need my pride, it... is all I have. If he knows what he does to me, I-

Vejiita's thoughts were abruptly cut off, lost as Goku slowly lifted his leg, beginning to rub against Vejiita's hardness, and the prince gasped, his back arching as his breathing turned ragged. The prince shivered violently, the sensations Goku was causing nearly excruciating. He could hear himself whimper, couldn't stop it as his world narrowed to the friction between his legs, the gentle movement against his erection.

God, never... never been touched here... except... when... But it never, never felt... like this...

Then Goku's hands were sliding beneath his shirt, brushing his stomach to touch his nipples, and Vejiita cried out softly, his hands slipping to Goku's shoulders. It was too much, and he could feel himself begin to rock against Kakarrot's thigh, desperate for more of that touch.

Goku's hands dropped suddenly, and caught the hem of his shirt, the larger Saiya-jin's arm sliding around Vejiita's back and pulling him from the wall long enough to carefully draw the shirt over his head. He dropped it quietly and Vejiita couldn't even think of protesting as the other Saiya-jin's hands smoothed up his sides, the warmth of his palms sending prickles across his skin, and a moment later he gently kissed Vejiita's collarbone. His mouth trailed over Vejiita's chest, tongue flicking out to taste him, and Vejiita breathed shortly, gasping for breath, struggling to stay in control.

Then, as Goku bent lower, his knee slid from between Vejiita's thighs, and the prince couldn't contain a moan of disappointment. Goku softly stroked his back, and then Vejiita's eyes snapped opened and his body jerked, his hands tightening on Goku's shoulders as the other Saiya-jin lightly brushed his lips over Vejiita's nipple. He gasped as Goku nipped slightly, then the other Saiya-jin's tongue smoothed over it in a firm, licking motion before Kakarrot began to... to suck gently.

Vejiita's eyes half-closed again, a moan easing from his throat at the odd sensation, and his hands rose to tangle in Goku's hair.

He- I- What is he doing?! He's touching me like... No one has ever done this before... But I... God... It feels... Please, I need something, but I can't... I can't ask. I could never ask him, I...

Vejiita's cheeks flushed as he heard himself emitting short, soft whimpers, but he couldn't stop. He choked as he felt Goku's teeth graze his nipple, a twinge of fear shooting through him even as the touch gave him pleasure. A moment later Kakarrot's fingers were softly grazing his waist, tracing the waistband of his pants, and he shivered without thought, his hands tightening in Goku's hair.

The other Saiya-jin went still for a moment, and Vejiita held in a moan.

Please... Please, I can't... I can't, I need more than this, but...

Then his body tightened, muscles clenching as the tips of Kakarrot's fingers slipped beneath his pants, his hands slowly sliding inside, until the bigger Saiya-jin's fingers were curling over his hips. Vejiita's breathing hitched and he could feel his heart beating wildly in his throat as his hands splayed against Goku's head, biting his lip as his eyes closed briefly.

And then Kakarrot's hands were stroking downward, stripping the clothing away, and Vejiita could hear his own breathing harshly in his ears.

Oh God, what are you doing, what are you doing?! You know this, you know where it leads, why are you letting him-?! What are you doing with him, why are you letting him touch you?! This low-class fool is putting his hands on you, the prince of the Saiya-jin, and you know what's going to happen and it's going to hurt and you should stop him!! Oh God, I don't care, I don't care anymore, I can't, I'm so tired of this, I just want it to be over, and maybe if I just let him it will end. Maybe then I can finally stop caring, and that would be worth it. It would be worth the pain because I can't take this anymore....

...Oh God, please, please, please don't hurt me... please...

Now Kakarrot was on his knees, and his hand, warm and strong, curled around the back of Vejiita's knee, pressing lightly, and Vejiita numbly lifted his foot, feeling tremors shake his body as he watched the other Saiya-jin toss the pants aside, leaving him naked. His hands blindly splayed against the coolness of the wall behind him as he looked down at Goku, terrified but still somehow wanting... In some sick, twisted way, he wanted to feel the pain. It was the only thing that was familiar now.

Kakarrot looked up at him briefly, his dark eyes clouded and unreadable, before lifting his hand, and Vejiita twitched as it came to rest on his thigh and was still. For Vejiita, the tension heightened unbearably as he waited for the other to do something, and he flushed as he began to tremble.

"K-Kakarrot..." The words slid from his lips unbidden. "Oh God..."

He tensed once more as Kakarrot leaned forward, softly brushing his face against Vejiita's thigh, and the prince jumped slightly as the other laid a light kiss against his skin.

"Vejiita," he answered simply, his voice a barely-discernible whisper.

And he was leaning forward once more, Vejiita watching him as he pressed his lips against the prince's thigh, just above his knee, his hand curving around to support the back of Vejiita's leg. Vejiita continued to tremble, his muscles shivering as Kakarrot began to kiss his way up his thigh, moving slowly, pausing to flick out with his tongue or nip gently with his teeth.

"Oh God," Vejiita whispered again, unable to deny the spikes of pleasure that shot through him beneath Kakarrot's touch, but still desperately afraid.

Goku's hands slid around behind him, lightly feathering over his buttocks before gently, gently taking Vejiita's tail in his fingers. The prince released a short, sharp cry, hunching forward slightly as his hand slid into Goku's hair once more, fingers fisting in the black strands as pleasure spiraled through him. Goku slipped his fingers deeply into the fur, kneading and stroking until Vejiita was shaking, soft, sobbing whimpers escaping him as he braced himself with another hand on Goku's shoulder. He felt the larger Saiya-jin softly kiss his hip before stroking fully down the length of his tail, and he cried out, his eyes closing as his knees buckled and he sank toward the floor. A moment later a strong arm was wrapping around his waist, supporting him against a solid chest, and he breathed raggedly, his fear momentarily lost in the intensity of the feelings shooting through him. Goku shifted slightly, touching Vejiita's chin with his fingertips and tipping his head back. The other's mouth met his in a heated kiss, Goku's tongue sliding between his lips to twine with his, and Vejiita could do nothing but respond to him, his hand rising to curl around the back of Kakarrot's neck as his eyes closed. Goku's arms slid around him, pulling their bodies tightly together, and Vejiita broke the kiss, pulling his head back with a gasp as his erection was pressed to Goku's, nothing but the loose pants the other was wearing separating them.

Then Goku was suddenly shifting, pulling Vejiita into his arms and lifting him as he rose to his feet. The prince gasped in surprise, flushing slightly as Goku cradled him like a child, then took a shallow breath, shivering as the other Saiya-jin stepped toward the bed.

*****

Goku laid Vejiita down gently, searching the prince's face as the other Saiya-jin gazed up at him. The dark eyes were hazed with desire, but behind it was stark fear, and he knew the tremors that had wracked the prince for the past minutes had not been caused only by pleasure. In truth, he was amazed that Vejiita had not asked him to stop, as he was clearly terrified; Goku could feel the emotion trembling against his thoughts without conscious effort.

But God, he wanted him. His entire body was tight with need, with the need to love his prince completely. He wanted so badly to make it right for Vejiita, to take away his fear, to show him that there didn't have to be pain. But he was afraid, too. Afraid he would disappoint, afraid he would fail, that he wouldn't give him enough, wouldn't know what to do... It had been so long; he had never been with anyone but Chichi, and now he was here, with a passionate, fiery prince who had experienced things in this situation that no one should ever have to suffer. And he was desperately afraid that he would hurt him.

Oh God, please... Please, I love him so much, please let me make this good for him...

Sliding up the bed until he was resting alongside him, Goku again touched his lips to Vejiita's, more gently this time, his tongue again in the prince's mouth, but stroking, teasing, tasting him as his hand brushed over Vejiita's cheek, down his shoulder to rest against his chest. He felt Vejiita's hand come up, the prince's fingers brushing his jaw in a trembling caress, and moaned softly in encouragement.

A moment later he broke the kiss, pressing his lips to Vejiita's chin, his throat, feeling the prince's hitching breaths as his mouth trailed a path down his body. He paused at his stomach, letting his tongue follow the ridges of Vejiita's muscles, hearing the prince gasp as he did so, his hand smoothing down Vejiita's thigh. A moment later he lifted his head, wanting to see how Vejiita would react as he let his hand slip around to stroke up the inside of the prince's leg.

Vejiita released a soft whimper, his back arching slightly, sweat shining on his forehead as his muscles quivered faintly. Still watching him, Goku slowly trailed his hand higher, until his fingers lightly brushed through the dark curls at the other Saiya-jin's groin. Vejiita jumped, pressing his head back against the pillow as a ragged gasp escaped him, and Goku could feel him trembling. Shivering faintly himself, he brushed his hand along Vejiita's length, the touch barely there, just the slightest whisper against him.

Vejiita tensed, his lips parting in a silent gasp, his body becoming taut and still as he waited. Drawing a shallow, nervous breath, Goku gently let his fingers wrap around Vejiita's arousal, keeping his touch careful, easy. Vejiita made an odd, strangled sound, his body rearing forward slightly and he half-braced himself on his elbow, his head falling back as his eyes closed.

Gently, softly, Goku tightened his fingers and stroked Vejiita's length. The prince fell back against the bed, his back arching as his hands tangled in the sheets.

He tossed his head from side to side as Goku continued to stroke him, low, throaty whimpers and gasps escaping him.

"Oh God... Oh God," he moaned, his eyes tightly closed as he bit down on his lip.

Goku's breath caught as he watched him, and he shuddered with need, but would not give in to it, would not give in to the urge to simply take Vejiita.

I need this to be good for him. I don't care... I don't care about me, I just want to give him everything he needs...

He remembered, suddenly, something Chichi had done to him once or twice, when she'd been feeling particularly passionate, and a faint smile touched his lips as his dark eyes narrowed on the prince's face. He wondered how Vejiita would react...

*****

Vejiita clenched his teeth, fighting to keep from crying aloud as hot waves of pleasure rushed through him beneath Kakarrot's fingers. He was rocking his hips, moving against Kakarrot's hand as he gasped for breath, unable to think of anything, any moment beyond this one.

I never thought... I didn't know...

He felt like he was dying, there had never been anything like this, something deep and instinctive and so desperately good. And he needed it, needed this feeling, even as he knew it couldn't last, that the moment would vanish and he would never be able to hold on to it. But for now it didn't matter, because Kakarrot's hand was on him, touching him, stroking him, and he couldn't bear it, but he could not give it up.

Then the touch fell away as Kakarrot pulled his hand back, and Vejiita's breathing caught in dismay. Oh, God, please no, don't stop, please...

And then he choked, a tearing, ragged gasp wrenched from him as there was heat, and wetness, and warm softness closing over him. He moaned deeply, shivering, feeling Kakarrot's hair brushing his thighs, and he couldn't believe, but his mouth...

He let out a low, short cry as the other Saiya-jin's tongue slid over him, and hissed, his lips curling back from clenched teeth as he struggled to remain quiet. Then Goku began to suck gently and he drew in a sobbing breath.

"Oh God, yes... yes, yes..."

Kakarrot's mouth and tongue and teeth were doing things to him he had never imagined, had never even considered, and he could feel a tightness, something building inside of him as he gasped and trembled beneath the other Saiya-jin's touch. He hadn't thought... it would be like this, hadn't known Kakarrot would touch him this way, that it could ever feel like this. And it was precious and new and gentle, and he had never felt so vulnerable, so open in his entire life.

I think he... this... I feel... for him...

He moaned, then, desperately, his body aching with pleasure, and he felt Goku's hands come down on his hips, holding him still as he tried to move. Groaning, he brushed his hands over Goku's, panting. And then the other Saiya-jin's lips and tongue caressed his entire length, his teeth scraping gently, and Vejiita convulsed, crying out as the world exploded and he couldn't breath or think, could only feel as his release swept over him.

It was a long time before he came back to himself, his breathing fast and unsteady. He realized that he was trembling, curled up on himself, his body slick with sweat and passion, and he slowly opened his eyes.

Kakarrot was lying beside him, his dark gaze gentle and concerned on Vejiita's face. The bigger Saiya-jin's hand reached toward him, brushed over his cheek, and Vejiita realized he was crying only as Goku wiped the tears away.

"Vejiita...?" he whispered, "Are you all right?"

Vejiita took a slow breath, licking his lips and closing his eyes for a moment, feeling the looseness of his body, the warmth in his muscles. Hesitantly, he smoothed his hand over Kakarrot's chest, nodding. Suddenly he felt the sharp burn of tears in his eyes again, and leaned forward, pressing his face to the chest his hand had just touched as his arm slid around Goku's waist. Kakarrot had given him something he would never be able to repay, given him one priceless moment of warmth and happiness, and it was too much to bear. Because the moment was fleeting, already it was leaving, and he knew that he could not make it stay. It was a miracle, an odd twist of fate that he had ever been able to experience it at all.

He felt Kakarrot's hand smoothing over his shoulder, rubbing his back as the other Saiya-jin kissed his hair softly. He could feel the length of Goku's body, pressed to his, and suddenly realized that the other man was still hard, remembered that he had never been satisfied. He shifted slightly, his mouth dry as he rested his cheek against the other Saiya-jin's chest. He could take him. Kakarrot could use him, could be inside him. He had given Vejiita something unbelievably precious and... it was the least he could do.

He drew back slightly, drawing a trembling breath. "Kakarrot..."

Goku's eyes met his. "Hm?" he murmured softly.

"I want... You can..." Vejiita closed his eyes briefly. "Take me."

Kakarrot stared at him for a long moment, seemingly uncomprehending. Then he reached out, cupping Vejiita's cheek in his palm as he softly smoothed his thumb over the prince's lower lip. "Vejiita... are you sure?"

...Pain, and blood, bent over the table as claws raked across his back. Complete, hopeless humiliation and despair as the alien slammed into him again and again...

"Yes..." he whispered.

Goku looked at him for another moment, his eyes considering, then he slowly slid from the bed, and Vejiita stared after him as he left the room. What the hell...?

A minute later he returned, setting something on the table beside the bed before stripping off his clothing and crawling up beside Vejiita again, looking down into the prince's face. Vejiita could feel his breathing become shallow, his eyes too wide as he looked up at the other Saiya-jin. Goku lowered his head, gently kissing Vejiita's nose, and the prince nearly released a nervous laugh at the incongruity of the action. Kakarrot's hand gently curved over his shoulder, then smoothed across his chest, the other Saiya-jin's eyes still not leaving his.

"You're afraid..." he whispered, no trace of mockery in his voice.

Vejiita could feel himself blush as he glanced to the side for a moment. "I-I-"

"It's all right," Goku murmured, lowering his head and gently kissing Vejiita's lips. Vejiita's eyes closed as their tongues met, feeling Kakarrot's hand smooth over his body...

He could not believe, could not understand why Kakarrot was doing this, as the other Saiya-jin touched and teased and kissed him, until he was aroused once more, panting and shaking beneath him as Kakarrot's tongue explored his body. The other Saiya-jin was going slow, his touches hot and gentle, smoothing over Vejiita's skin with infinite care, and the prince could feel tears in his eyes once more, unable to understand Goku's gentleness.

Finally the other Saiya-jin was kneeling between his legs, looking down at him, and Vejiita swallowed, trying to be still, to keep from trembling. Kakarrot had given him so much, it should not be so very hard, to do this for him...

...Warm streaks of red dribbling down his thighs, ribs cracking beneath vicious blows, tears and agony mingling with the shame...

Vejiita could hear his own breathing, loud and uneven in his ears, and swallowed, tried to be quiet, as Goku leaned across him, reached for something on the table. He gazed at the other Saiya-jin blankly as he opened a small tube, squeezing something onto his fingers. Then Kakarrot's hand dropped, and he was touching him.

Vejiita gasped in shock, his eyes widening as he felt something cool and slick pressed against him, Goku's fingers pressing into him, and he looked at him, trying to understand what he was doing. Goku caught his gaze and Vejiita saw him flush faintly. He lifted a shoulder slightly, not stopping what he was doing.

"You told me," his voice was quiet, gentle, "that it hurt, inside... That... that bastard tore you..." Vejiita bit his lip, feeling Goku's fingers slide inside him. "I thought if I used this... maybe it wouldn't hurt you. It's just lotion."

Vejiita closed his eyes, that emotion filling him again, an emotion he didn't want to look at too closely, didn't want to put a name on. He was painfully touched by Kakarrot's words, by his consideration, and he drew in an unsteady breath as Goku finished... preparing him.

He could still feel the fear, in the background, clamoring at him as Goku slid toward him, looking down at him, but he refused to give rein to it, laying still as he waited for the other Saiya-jin to claim him.

"Vejiita..." Goku's voice was a barely-audible whisper as he set his hands on the prince's hips, and then Vejiita could feel him, and he fought to keep his body relaxed, knowing that tightening up would only cause more pain. He was gritting his teeth, his eyes closed and his hands curled into fists in preparation for the invasion. And then it came and the breath rushed from his lungs, his lips parting in a silent sound of surprise, his eyes snapping open.

The discomfort was slight at best as Goku filled him. There was no agonizing pain, no slow, forced entrance. He looked up at the other Saiya-jin's face, saw that his eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted and his cheeks flushed. And he was all the way in, and it did not hurt. He could not believe it but-

Vejiita's back arched and he gasped, sudden, hot pleasure streaking through him as Goku rocked his hips against him. Slowly, he cracked his eyes open, looking up to find the other Saiya-jin looking at him as well, panting slightly, and he wondered wildly if this was some strange mistake. Then Goku thrust into him again, and he cried out, squeezing his eyes shut once more, as the feeling spiked low in his abdomen.

Oh God, oh my God! I can't, I can't... How..?!

Goku began to move inside him more confidently, then, and Vejiita found himself matching him, biting his lip and moaning at the heat, the friction, the incredible pleasure the sensation caused.

Oh... this... I never would have believed... I could not have... I... This is what I need and... please, God, thank you... Oh God!

And that heat was inside him again, that low, building excitement, a desperate, instinctive need to find completion. He was close, could feel it coming as his hands reached down to grip Goku's forearms where the Saiya-jin was bracing himself on the bed. He could hear Kakarrot gasping, knew he was there, too, and a moment later he was flying once again as the world disappeared in a white haze, the pleasure blinding, and even as he screamed his release, he wondered what he would do tomorrow, when everything was over. What would he do when he was alone again, when this escape from his reality ended?

Then Goku was on top of him, his breathing harsh and ragged, their bodies hot and slick with sweat as they pressed together, and Vejiita closed his eyes, letting the other Saiya-jin's weight press him into the bed, his arms lifting of their own accord to wrap around him.

And then he froze, his eyes opening again as his entire body stiffened, trying to understand what was happening. Goku's breath was hot as it feathered against his ear, the other Saiya-jin's voice tight and trembling.

"I love you, Vejiita... I love you..."