Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Strong Heart ❯ Chapter 24 ( Chapter 24 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Trunks knelt on the ground, breathing coarsely through a raw throat. His eyes were packed with tears, red-rimmed with spidery veins as his chest lurched for air. His ruby, plump lips pulsated with the intense breathing, slightly parted as he gazed through a fog at his surroundings.

The world had once more changed, the sky becoming dark as the memory faded and Mirai closed down the program. Gray and black clouds stretched low over the sky, rain coming in light torrents from time to time. Mist and fog had rose from the ground around his knees, yet he stayed steadily in his place, watching as the sun crossed over in the distance, peering through peep-holes in the sky and making every ray that much more beautiful as they kissed the hills and mountains beneath.

Yet, the rain still dripped down where he sat, the sky dark in his little portion of the world.

Mirai stood by, the ever present constant in his life, watching as the hang-over and drug withdrawal were pressed into the farthest reaches of his depression, his memories of Goten much more bruising than their impact could ever be. The temperature had dramatically fallen, cold rain drenching the locks of his bangs and soaking into the sleeves of his arms that laid out to the side.

An hour pressed upon them, yet he didn't move, cold blue eyes gazing at shadows that fell like droplets over his world. Everything came back. Every touch, every movement, every slide of warm flesh that pressed over his own. Every whisper from that familiar voice that could melt the coldness that crept into his heart. Every smile, every gaze from dark eyes that crushed icy-ness and demanding nothing more than him. Him. Simple him. The man that made mistakes, the man that sometimes didn't have all the cash in the world on him. The man that sometimes felt like shit, and didn't want to always go out and party his life away.

Goten hadn't minded the man that sometimes slept too late into the day, or wanted to stay up too late at night talking about useless things. Goten didn't mind morning breath or inevitable vomiting, or laughing too loud or crying or falling asleep to movies, or listening to music that didn't always pulsate with a nauseating and repetitive beat.

But Goten had loved that man. The man that he was. The man that didn't do so many drugs that it aged his insides double fold. Goten didn't need a persona or a facade or an endless party.

Goten had just wanted Trunks.

And he'd let that slip away. The one person, as Mirai had said, that had loved him ---the real him--- he'd let slip away because he was too in love with the idea of living life. Instead, he'd faced death and depression for his sacrifice, for his inevitable obsession with living the ideal life. The life that magazines promised him was the greatest way to live had damn near cost him everything. The life that rock stars and movie stars and every free spirit in the world tells you is the life to live.. had nearly killed him. The glitter and the glam that clashed with everything that he'd once loved.

Ashes remained of a reckless lifestyle and regrets and memories were the last things he could cling to. And he was sickened by it.

Four long wasted years.

"So what now wonder boy?" Mirai taunted, ripping through the silence. "My end of the bargain is through. I showed you love, I showed you loss, I showed you sacrifice and I showed you what you needed to see. Every end of my promise is fulfilled isn't it?"

He moved to kneel by Trunks, his body radiating no kindness or warmth, simple coldness and animosity.

"You had something you wanted, my little Ice King, my adoring brat prince," He touched his fingers to move Trunks' face towards him. "take it."

Trunks swallowed, too hazed to recall what Mirai was even talking about.

"Your original mission," Mirai mocked. "Your millionth fantasy. Me."

As if to seal the deal, he harshly pressed his mouth to Trunks', enveloping the plump bottom lip between his teeth.

"You wanted to fuck me Trunks," he laughed coldly. "Nows you're chance. Fuck me wonderboy, if that's what you want."

He pushed his hand against Trunks' chest, trying to move him downwards to straddle the other's body. Callused hands moved harshly over Trunks' front, his shirt being nearly torn at in Mirai's detached haste.

"Fuck me asshole," Mirai spat. "That's all you are isn't it? That's all you ever want."

He tugged his fingers painfully into Trunks' hair as he bruised his lips with his own.

"That's all there is to you huh?" He grinned against the other mouth. "All you're worth, all you're good at. Show me your one purpose, your one talent. It's all you're good for anyways."

His fingers yanked at Trunks' pants button, threatening to dive downwards.

"NO!" Trunks finally gasped, pushing with all his might against Mirai who fell backwards across the grass. He stared in astonishment at the older man, unable to fathom the change in the other. "God..." he breathed harshly. "No!"

His gaze met the other's who's eyes glistened with victory at this refusal. He almost shook his head in astonishment. It had been precisely what Mirai had wanted.

"Good," Mirai breathed with a small grin. "Then throw this life away as you have me. Push away the thousands that will worship you and go to the one that will actually love you. But forget this life Trunks. Forget this waste and find something with value. Love him Trunks. Love him with obsession if you need to, love him with sacrifice and love him endlessly and forever. But throw away this lifestyle. It isn't really life at all."

He stood up, gazing down with something that could resemble pride, helping the other to his feet.

"I've shown you loss and I've shown you obsession and I've shown you love." He spoke. "You're going to encounter all three on this new journey of yours. But don't gaze back in the past and fall into the trap it sets. Don't look at these four years and think that you're missing out. Remember what it nearly cost you and hope to God that somehow, you can win him back. Because in all your life, he's going to be the greatest thing that will ever happen to you. He's never going to look at you and see something that isn't there, the way that you have to this life."

He embraced the other, tugging the tired body tightly against his own.

"You listen to me ok?" He whispered. "You tell him how you feel, you tell him the truth... and I promise you Trunks, someday, you'll awaken with him in your arms again. You're going to wake up in a warm bed with the sun shining in your eyes and I promise you, he's going to be right beside you still asleep. And I promise, if you tell him how you feel, he'll stay there forever."

They held each other, Mirai's fingers wrapped around the short locks of Trunks' hair, massaging the back of his head as he breathed against the older version's chest, sighing out four years of heartache.

"You're a drug addict Trunks," Mirai breathed. "I could never have come to you if you weren't. I could never look into your eyes this way and pity you if you weren't so induced with them. Throw them away for him ok? For yourself even. They can't give you the love that he can and they can't promise you the things that I have."

Trunks nodded in his arms, face still pressed against his throat.

"This world won't last Trunks," Mirai whispered, "and I can't stay here any longer."

Trunks wrenched himself away, staring in disbelief and horror at what the other spoke.

"You mean..." He spat. "you're leaving?"

"Yes." Mirai answered simply. "I have to Trunks. I don't belong here."

"But....Where will you go?" He stuttered. "Back to your time? To what Mirai? There's nothing there but a world of corpses. You... You could die if you go back there."

Mirai laughed slightly, shaking his head.

"I won't die kid, trust me on that. But I don't belong here. I can't stay forever. This is your time now, your adventures to begin. I merely came to warn you."

He paused, weighing his words before speaking again. "Trunks, listen to me. Listen careful. The virus..." He paused again, looking upwards. "The virus can't be cured. It can't be stopped."

"Sure it can," Trunks interrupted. "My mothers probably working on it as we speak."

"Trunks, shhh...." Mirai told him, using his name to silence the other. "There IS no cure. The vaccines that were distributed worldwide contain a dormant stream of the virus that eventually awakens. There is no immunity to it. There is no battling of wills with the virus. At least not on a human level. No immune system is able to combat the inevitable awakening and thousands will die within the first few minutes, millions and then eventually, billions following after. Even if you were to move the entire world to a different planet, the virus would spread perhaps only that much quicker."

"But the dragon balls!" Trunks insisted.

"The dragon balls do not take part in human mortality." Mirai told him solemnly. "I already tried. It's a natural thing Trunks. Overpopulation eventually takes its toll and the race needs to be redistributed. It's a natural preservation of the planet."

"I won't accept that," Trunks shook his head in horror. "I... I won't accept this as natural, as inevitable! There MUST be a way. There MUST be survivors!"

"Again, we have things in common." Mirai smiled. "I believe that a Saiyan can survive it. Your mother now is feeling its effects, though for years, it will still remain dormant. You smell the death on her, the weakening of her heart, the toiling she feels as it works feverishly to continue. In my world, she would have had longer, but though it works quickly in some, it is a slower process with others that eventually spreads to the population. Bare her no ill-will Trunks. She will unknowingly spread the disease to everyone in your family until their dormant, viral cells are awakened and the process is heightened by their youth. Everyone close to her will be awakened and die. She is among the first victims. Make your peace with her quickly."

"But!" Trunks pressed. "There must be survivors! You said a Saiyan can make it."

"Of course," Mirai grinned. "I came here to not only warn you, but also to inspire you Trunks. You have to live."

Trunks was awestruck silent.

"I came here to make you love kiddo," Mirai smiled softly now. "I knew that with a strong Saiyan heart, you could live. But you had to have a reason to. Hearts don't just keep pumping if there isn't a reason enough to do so. You can't live purposelessly. Life cannot keep going if you haven't a reason to. Don't die Trunks," He breathed, touching his fingers against the other's cheek. "Don't die because your heart isn't strong enough to fight for life."

"Make peace with your world and with your inevitable fate. See the lives of those around you as as fragile as they are and show mercy and compassion to those you touch, knowing they wont be around long enough to make amends later. Touch and see everything as though its your last time to see or touch it. And love. Love above all other things and fight for that. Because perhaps my theory is wrong and you won't get another chance to test it. The dragon saw to that."

"What do you mean, 'the dragon saw to that'?" Trunks whispered, unable to think this through.

Mirai simply shook his head, ignoring the other.

"Say your sorries," He told him. "write your words as though you'll never get the chance again. Hug your mother and respect your father. Make peace with who you are and who you have now. Don't waste the time you have left and don't die. Fight with your love Trunks. Fight to live with it."

With that, Mirai pulled the other to him once again, absentmindedly fumbling a capsule from his pocket and tossing it to the ground. It blew out smoke, revealing a second later an old time-machine. Trunks gazed at it through blurry eyes, his face over Mirai's shoulder as he took in everything he was told.

"I won't forget." He told the other. "I'll do it. I promise you Mirai, I'll fight for him."

Mirai pulled back from the embrace, his hand cupping the moist cheek of his younger self. A beautiful smile reached his eyes before he closed them and pressed his lips to Trunks' once more. A sweet, chaste kiss before he pulled away and walked towards the large machine.

"Remember everything," He instructed. "And don't forget me."

With one more smile, he crawled into his ship, the glass oval top mechanically folding over him. He waved as Trunks forced a tight smile onto his face, returning the gesture as the old machine whirled to life.

"I won't forget you," He breathed, knowing Mirai couldn't hear. "I'll never forget you."

His eyes blinked with tears, blurry as he watched the machine slowly fade, having expected some sort of explosion or instant disappearing. But gradually, the machine faded from existence, Mirai waving and for but just a second, Trunks could have sworn he saw the grinning face of Gohan planted directly next to him. Blinking, he realized it was but a play on the glass, the last thing seen the word long ago painted across the side of the yellow metal.

The ironic word, "Hope."




.......


The temperature had dipped beneath 30 degrees, what had once been rain turning to slushy snowflakes that chilled his body. Still he drove onwards, his ki signal flashing outwards so that Goten could feel him coming. Cold dread mixed with the falling snow and he swallowed hard, sorting out what he would say.

What could he say?
What words could possibly make up for four years of abandoment and more than twenty spent taking advantage of his younger friend? Could a few sorry's do it? He doubted it. Even Goten's benevolence knew a limit.

"I love you! I'm sorry!".

Yeah, the words rang true. He wouldn't deny that, despite his former disdain for them. Yet they dulled; yes, a perfect way to put it. They dulled the hurt and disappointment he'd rain upon Goten for years. From one drug to the next, one lie to another, one meaningless fuck to one more... his actions had taken their toll on Goten's forgiveness.

So what now?

For so long, he'd prided himself on predicting people. It was one of his greatest talents. The ability to see what was coming, to predict what defenses they'd use and how to overcome years of society's control over them. But society and taboos never really had any reign over Goten. Never. And it was just as appropriate to say, that in many ways, Goten was never gay at all. It was never about that for the younger Saiyan.

Goten believed in love. It was a perfect way to describe his endeavors in life. Perhaps, some of his father's naivety had rubbed off on his outlook on life, yet his mother's inherit intelligence had never caused that to waver. He believed in love above pleasure, above pain.. above everything. And he'd loved Trunks. It had never been about sex or the incessant need to pry away at each other. Though he'd always loved to fight and yes, loved sex when he had occasionally indulged in it, he kept both seperate from love.

It wasn't that he believed that sex and love couldn't be combined. No. It was just obvious to Trunks that while Goten loved him, he was also very aware of Trunks' uncanny ability to shut himself off to those he was so 'intimate' with.

Trunks could have been a girl, a boy, a eunach for God's sake--and Goten, would have loved him. It didn't matter, in fact, had nothing to do with gender at all. It was simple love though complete.

And now, as Trunks winced from the cold, fluctuating his energy to sybolize his intent upon landing, he knew that he relied soully on that love now. And as his feet touched down, several yards away from Goten's home, he prayed within himself that it still could be revived; no matter the beating he had bestowed so often upon it.
Goten was already standing outside of the meek house, his arms crossed and his face unreadable as the other landed. The cold wind wrapped around the locks of his bangs, blowing them sideways as flickering snowflakes gathered against his cheek. He just stood still over the snow covered ground, eyes gleaming with unreadable expression, white skin making the burgandy of his lips stand out. The veritable beauty that his bloodline had promised him before birth, silencing Trunks' chaotic mind.

He just stared for the moment, mind blank as he took in the scene, the gorgeous, stone figure that stared just as hard right back at him. What thoughts tangled Goten's mind, he wondered. What memories, good or bad, came back at the first glance he'd had of Trunks for years? Was there animosity that danced in deep, black eyes? Or just calm calculation?

Without a word, Goten moved to the side, his back slightly to Trunks as he walked out towards the snow-covered field a ways from his home. His movements were calm and he seemed to glide so effortlessly over the slushy surface of the ground. Every strain of his muscles was languide and almost liquid-like, so graceful and yet not intended to be so. Trunks was simply transfixed by it, forgetting his vexation for the moment and indulging in his very instinctual fascination with the other man.

The scenery itself seemed so appropriate to Goten's nature, chaotic and even a tad harsh, yet mezmerizing. Something a million painters could spend eternity trying to recreate, yet something that, in itself, could never be represented on paper. His dark clothing clashed with the grays of the world, his fashionable knee-lengthed black jacket harsh against the falling snow, his hands in his pockets and the collar lifted over his neck. Black eyes scanned the ground as he walked, ignoring Trunks as the other followed him, silently moving over the snow behind.

They continued quietly, neither acknowledging or speaking a word to the other, moving onward in contemplation of their own thoughts.

Finally Goten stopped, head held up as he stood at the peak of a cliff, the land far below stretching out for miles and miles of white covered pine trees. His back kept towards Trunks until the other stood a safe distance away, swallowing hard as he sorted out his words.

"Goten... I...."

"No." The other snapped, turning quickly towards him, his finger held out warningly. "Don't you utter even another word, you hear me?"
Trunks was shocked silently, his bottom lip meeting with his top as he nodded.

"I've listened to enough speeches of yours for a lifetime," Goten spat cruelly, eyes looking as though they could spontaneously combust at any moment. "And now, you're going to hear ME out for once. I've waited four long years to say these things and I don't intend to be interupted."

He glared at Trunks for a moment, all calmness and decency thrown to the way side as he pointed downwards, gesturing violently.

"How..... DARE you treat me like that?!" He hissed, eyes wild. "How FUCKING DARE you treat me like some... some PET? Some dog to be beckoned and then tossed aside at random!? You have some fucking nerve coming here after all the shit you pulled. And believe me when I say, everything you're about to hear has been a long time coming."

Trunks cringed and braced himself--- for some odd reason, not having predicted such animalistic behavior from Goten.

"You are ... by far..." Goten started, prolonging the words for emphasis. "The most selfish, narcissistic piece of shit I have ever known. You come and you go as though you own the world and every single person in it. You're a fucking monster Trunks: a vain, horrible, single-minded nymphomaniac. You inflict on everyone else precisely what you feel inside. You detach yourself because you're too God damn afraid to be hurt the way you hurt everyone else in your life.

"And HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" He screamed. "How FUCKING DARE YOU look me in my face after sleeping with both my father and my brother?! How can you even stand there, thinking you have any business even coming NEAR me after what you did?! Ah but isn't that half your appeal, you thoughtless ingrate? Your sheer gall and inability to accept ANY acknowledgment of your actions. You don't even care do you?"

"Goten... I..." Trunks stammered, eyes on the ground until he was literally smashed into it, his face swelling from a punch he'd never even seen. Goten's reflexes had been lightening quick, crunching his knuckles into Trunks' cheek and currently pushing the base of his foot against the other's asophagus as Trunks lay bleeding on the snow.

"I believe I said no interuptions." Goten threatened with deadly seriousness. "In fact, I'm positive I did."

Trunks just gawked up in disbelief, choking down blood that pooled in his throat from his teeth grinding into his cheek when it was hit.

"I'm not some mary sue character Trunks," Goten promised. "I'm not some meager, childish fool that follows you blindly and forgives your faults with ease. And I'm not about to forget after this day or the next. I don't care why you came here and I'm not even certain I intend for you to leave after what you've done. So tread lightly around me prince. Or did you forget so easily that I'm Saiyan?

"Did your pathetic mind so graciously overlook the fact that I'm a person, as it did all those years ago only too often? Did you think that I mulled over the past for four years and held no animosity towards you? Don't deify me Trunks." He whispered wickedly. "Don't see me and think I'm incapable of hating you. Because believe me... that would be a great underestimation on your part."

He let his foot off the other's throat, the pads of his shoe crunching against the snow next to Trunks' head.

"Did you ever regret the things you did?" Goten's facial expressions lightened only a bit. "Did you ever think twice before you knelt on concrete in front of a stranger? Did you ever see my face when you gazed into their eyes before fucking them without a second thought? Did you feel sorry even once Trunks? Did you cry, did you mourn, did you sweat blood and tears when you realized I'd known all along? Or did it make it that much easier, realizing that I accepted your mistakes, even took care of you after them?"

He looked away for a moment, trying to compose himself before tears began to gather at the bottom lashes of his eyes.

"Did you even miss me?" He whispered, bottom lip jerking slightly before he glared down in rage and hatred. "God Trunks!"

He violently grabbed the collar of Trunks' shirt, hoisting the other slightly off the ground as he screamed.

"I was your BEST FRIEND!" He cried. "I was the ONLY person that took care of you, that thought of you, that loved you for who you were! If you had only asked it, I would have crawled to the ends of the earth! I would have torn the skin from my body if it would have made you love me!"

He threw the other to the ground again, disgusted.

"But nothing, NOTHING I did could melt you." He looked away. "Nothing could stop you from straying when even the slightest chance was available. Was I.... Was I so terrible?"

He let a few tears slid down his cold cheeks, beading on his chin as he refused to look into the other's eyes.
"Why couldn't you feel Trunks," He whispered to the chilled wind. "Why couldn't I make you love me?"

He paused for a moment before shaking his head.

"But no," he said, gazing down. "I'm tired of blaming myself for your shortcomings. Enough of it. You couldn't love me because you're incapable of loving anyone besides yourself. Stay in love with who you are forever Trunks. I grace you with that wish. Love yourself until you rot to ashes, because I'm not going to do it for you."

Trunks stared upwards, his chest rising and falling as he sucked in the cold air. He wanted so badly to speak, to cry, to do anything to stop this rampage of cruel words that he knew he deserved. More than anything, he wanted the strength to suddenly move and embrace the other, to do anything to comfort the pained beauty that glared down at him in exasperation.

Goten let out a sigh, head hanging.

"I'm tired Trunks." He breathed. "I'm tired of loving you. I'm tired of hating you. I'm tired of thinking about you in the morning and I'm tired of dreaming about you at night. I'm tired of seeing your face on the looks of strangers and I'm tired of fantasizing that there's something still there that never really existed at all. I was just entertainment to you." He swallowed hard, looking upwards for a moment. "A game. A sort of sport that .... that was conveniant. But I'm tired Trunks. I'm tired in every part of myself. I ache everywhere and I don't know how to make it stop. So I'm saying goodbye again with the hopes that you'll never come here... ever."

Trunks just gazed up at him, wanting so bad to shake his head, to insist against everything the other had said.

"I have to move on with my life," Goten sighed. "And I'm NOT doing it. I just.. keep holding on to day dreams. And that's not life for me Trunks. I can't waste away the short time I have left in this world hoping I can spend it with you. That's not life. That's living in a dream world. I have to move on and YOU have to let me. So don't ever come here again."

He moved away, letting Trunks crawl to his feet.

"I want you to listen to me when I say this and I pray for both our sake's that it means something to you and ... " He clenched his jaw. "And that you'll honor it, if only out of decency for me."

He put his hand on Trunks' shoulder for a brief instance, staring deeply into his eyes.
"I never.... ever..." He said slowly. "want to see you again."