Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Breath of Sorrow ❯ The Reflection of Inner Demons ( Chapter 5 )

Gohan's idea of safety revolved around his family, and nothing would ever deter him from seeking his peace with Videl and Pan. As a man, Gohan turned out to be much like ChiChi had wanted him to be, and sometimes, he wondered to himself if he had turned out to be boring and melancholy, but one look from Videl would prove him otherwise. Gohan was not without his darkness just as the rest of the Saiya-jins, but instead of wrapping himself in a blanket of misery, he wrapped himself in the comfort of his family much like his father had.

 

Gohan's abilities as a doctor gave him a good name in the medical community in Japan as well as a foot up to be promoted past his current position, and although Videl was proud of her husband for his achievements, she would have loved him even without his job and brilliance. Gohan's heart, in her eyes, was pure, and that was all that mattered. He was a good husband, a loving father, and a supportive son to ChiChi.

 

Deeper, inside the comfort of his family, deep inside his heart was a darkness that Gohan kept well hidden for powerful reasons. He ignored the reasons of his greatest depression, and yet, as much as he tried to convince himself that the past had not happened, he still thought about it day after day. Goten was his biggest reason for worry, and though he treated his brother with respect and indeed loved him, there was part of Goten that made Gohan's stomach turn with disgust.

 

Goten had only been fifteen when he'd found him first with Goku. It had been obvious earlier that morning that they had been irritated and annoyed with each other for one thing or another. Where Goku had not felt the need to compete with Gohan when he'd been a teenager, with Goten, it was different. Goku and Goten competed with one another in the classic Saiya-jin fashion to prove stupid points that only Saiya-jins found valuable. He had been miles away when he'd felt the enormous amount of energy that poured from his father and his brother while they sparred, and in fear of them actually harming one another as they had done on several occasions, Gohan sought out the signature.

 

When he'd found it, life stopped for him, and Gohan felt his entire view of his father, brother, and his entire family ripped apart and thrown away. He'd felt blood seep from his heart onto the ground as it shattered from the view that he'd achieved at the top of the cliff where he looked down into a demolished valley. In the midst of flying dust and crumbling rocks and splintering trees, Gohan watched as Goku buried his fingers into his son's cascading blonde hair, and kissed him. Gohan had wretched. He remembered emptying his stomach right there as he watched his father attack his son sexually, but what had made Gohan wretch again was when Goten lifted his arms.

 

His long, feminine fingers had slid into his father's massive mane of extensive, golden hair, and his bleeding lips kissed Goku back with everything that he was. Even from the distance that Gohan was seated at, the wind carried the heady scent of arousal from both of the Saiya-jins, and it had made Gohan so sick that he had to close his eyes and block the horrific scene in front of him. He felt Vegeta light next to him and pull him away from the cliff, and he found himself pulled into the air as the prince dragged him away from the passionate sin being committed in a combat barren valley.

 

Vegeta had felt the ki as well, but unlike Gohan, he was not quire so innocent to Goku's obsession with his youngest son. When they had landed a good amount of miles away from civilization and the valley where Gohan's worst nightmares were becoming a reality, the oldest son of Kakarot snapped, and attacked his prince. While Vegeta had expected Gohan to be somewhat violent after discovering that his father and youngest brother were in an sinful relationship, he did not expect the sheer amount of power that he bled into his attacks out of his anger.

 

Vegeta blocked and attacked, trying to satisfy Gohan's instinctual desire to kill in his rage, but each time that he thought Gohan had gained control of his emotions, the young Saiya-jin had attacked again and again until Vegeta was tired, battle-worn, and bleeding. A powerful Kamehaha blast sent Vegeta into a mountainside, and as he tried to stagger to his feet, he found Gohan on top of him, changing ki for his bare fists, pounding every inch of body he could find, blinded by wild, uninhibited anger.

 

It was then that Vegeta ascended, and with a sudden blast of power, he flipped Gohan underneath him, and pinned him. Vegeta was perfectly aware of Gohan's massive amount of power and his ability to maintain it for long periods of time, and he fully expected the Son to try to attack him again, but this time, Gohan only turned his head to the side and released a keening scream of frustration, anger, betrayal, and disgust. He ceased his struggles and turned his face away from Vegeta and blinked back tears that he so strongly tried to hide from the prince. While he expected Vegeta to laugh and scold him for his weakness, he only pulled Gohan off the ground and enveloped him in his arms.

 

Gohan's eyes widened, and he'd expected to die. There was only one time when Vegeta had held anyone, and it ended Vegeta's life and had almost killed his enemy. This time, however, Vegeta offered no hostility, no solace, and no scathing words. Instead, he held Gohan still as he screamed in anger, sobbed, and allowed his ki to flare around them both in rage. When Vegeta refused to release him after a while, Gohan had struggled, and one ascended to another until, for the first time in his life, Gohan's usually spiky blonde hair began to cascade down his back and ended at his ankles in a testament to his rage.

 

The combined energy of both seeped into Vegeta's body until he couldn't absorb anymore, and he was still finding it difficult to control Gohan. He had never ascended to that pentacle of a super Saiya-jin, and as a result, at this point, Gohan was stronger than the Prince. So Vegeta absorbed more power until he thought that his veins would rupture with it, and then, as Gohan nearly ripped away from him, energy blasted through the boy's body, and when he looked down at the figure in front of him, his breath caught.

 

Gohan's long, tapered fingers had been buried in red fur that was so soft, it could have been rabbit's fur. Eyes as clear blue as the sky gazed at him with mild reproach and slight concern, and a tail, so deft and gentle that he'd almost not felt it, wrapped around his thigh in a protective gesture that he wasn't sure Vegeta even noticed. Here stood the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid his eyes on, and now, his actions, his struggles, and his anger seeped away. A sweet scent was emitted from the red fur, and he found himself lulled into a strange euphoria that allowed Vegeta to finally calm him and make him think with a clearer brain.

 

When Vegeta first spoke, Gohan almost felt the ground shake with the sheer power that burned in that magnificent voice. The wind stopped, and the world stopped turning for that moment. “Why are you so angry, brat?” Vegeta's hold on Gohan hadn't loosened, but now, the fingertips that had been curled into fists had unfurled, and the tips gently pressed into Gohan's back, a small, subtle gesture that made him almost balk from the strange comfort that Vegeta was offering.

 

“Goten…Dad…they….” Gohan closed his eyes and buried his face in a shoulder of sweet scented fur.

 

“Quit sniveling, Gohan. Their affairs are none of your concern.” Vegeta's harsh words offered an odd kind of comfort to the young man, and he felt the rage dissipate slowly from his body until he was a normal man, pressed up against a magnificent creature with fiery red fur and a long, deft tail whose tip constantly stroked the inside of Gohan's thigh. It should have aroused him that this beautiful man was doing such a thing to his body, but instead, it calmed him.

 

Vegeta had offered him a strange escape from the reality in denying any responsibility towards his father and brother's incestual relationship, and so, after that day, he bottled up his thoughts on the subject and treated his father and brother as he would any other day. He never knew another time that they had been so intimate with each other, and honestly, with himself, he never knew if they actually had sex, but the kiss was enough to give him enough thoughts to last a lifetime.

 

As Gohan reflected on his past with Vegeta, he strode through the halls of the laboratories at Capsule Corp, looking for the object of his thoughts. He found him at last, in a large work room that was littered with papers of half-figured equations, boards of theorem, and walls filled with blue prints, sketches, and ideas in a flowing handwriting that belonged to Vegeta. He stood, his back to Gohan, staring intently at a board of problems, and Gohan tilted his head to the side. The handwriting on the board didn't belong to Vegeta, and he had never found the prince just staring at work before. Usually, his mind worked so fast that he didn't need to stare at the work all day to figure it out.

 

Gohan cleared his throat, and Vegeta waved him to a chair while not removing his eyes from the board. He watched the prince quietly until Vegeta turned to him and glared. “What do you want, idiot? Can't you see I'm busy?” Gohan smiled and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, making Vegeta's eyes soften slightly. Just like his father.

 

“Uh, I was kinda hoping we could go get something to eat. Bulma told Bunny and Bunny told Videl that you've been in the labs for a week straight now with Diana Shelton, that American chick, trying to find the correct formula for the new sonic drive that you're working on.” Gohan offered in one breath. “Besides, we used to go lunch a few times a week together. Whatever happened to that?”

 

Vegeta rolled his eyes and ripped off his lab coat to reveal his usual black shirt and jeans. “I got bored with your company.” He sneered at Gohan. It didn't seem to phase Gohan when he insulted the dark haired doctor, so he smirked to himself in delight and straightened his shirt out. “Besides, you have no respect for royalty, much like Kakarot.” He added the last part with a strange amusement that had Gohan grinning.

 

“Well, Your Majesty,” He jeered, “I was actually hoping that you'd be so kind to grace me with your presence at lunch. It's entirely my treat.” Gohan grinned stupidly when Vegeta shot him a pleased glance and nodded.

 

“That would be acceptable.” He answered. He joined Gohan step for step as they walked down the hall, not offering any other words or actions. The simple fact of the matter was that while Goten was his father's physical copy, Gohan carried his father's personality. Vegeta felt no tension between himself and Kakarot's eldest son, and so, he found himself oddly sane and at ease around him. As they exited the labs, Gohan caught sight of Goten and Pan landing outside the building, and Gohan waved to them. Goten waved back, but he didn't rush to say hello. Instead, the two young Saiya-jins disappeared inside the entrance to the building as Gohan and Vegeta climbed into Gohan's SUV.

 

“I still don't understand why you insist on using this ridiculous form of transportation when we have other means to get there.” Vegeta huffed. Gohan smirked and looked at his father's former lover with an impish glint in his eyes.

 

“The same reason Bra demands to use your beamer every time you take her shopping.” Gohan answered wryly. Vegeta rolled his eyes, and Gohan pulled out of the parking lot, headed to their favorite restaurant at the top floor of the highest tower in Tokyo.

 

 

“Vegeta?” Goten whispered into the dark. He was there again. He could smell the sweat off of his tawny skin, and he could feel the energy hovering at such a low level that only masterful control could achieve such a beautiful act. He watched as the shadows moved, revealing a compact body of muscle and strength, and then, it revealed the piercing black eyes and the delicate contours of a royal face. Goten sat up in his bed, the covers pooling around his waist like a white snow fall, his bare chest reflecting the blue blanket of the moonlight like a dulled mirror. “It's three o'clock in the morning!” Goten exclaimed softly.

 

The time didn't seem to phase Vegeta as he sat quietly on the foot of the bed, facing away from Goten. It was always like this after Vegeta had spent any amount of time with Gohan, and it confused Goten to no end. The bed shifted under the boy's weight as he scooted towards the still prince on the edge of his bed, and he stopped himself for a moment, wondering if his present course of action would have any repercussions, but deciding that either way, he would be hurt, he chose to reach out to touch the muscle bound shoulder, surprised when the quiet warrior didn't so much as twitch.

 

“I… I hate you, Goten.” The whisper came. The rough smooth voice strained. “You are nothing…nothing like him. Yet, you smell like him. You look like him…You feel like him.” The gloved fingers gripped into the sheets, and the corded shoulders shook with a silent, weary rage. “Gohan is everything he was and more. Yet, he denies the past, and he faces life with a disgusting weakness that you do not possess. Tell me where I can find the middle!” He demanded.

 

Goten was becoming slightly worried at this point for his safety. Through the months that Vegeta visited him and reeked havoc on his body, he had never spoken to him past calling him by his father's Saiya-jin name and whispering degrading obscenities in his ear, and certainly never, in the silence of Goten's bedroom, had Vegeta ever called Goten by his name. The youngest son scooted out of his bed and pulled on his boxers that were pooled in the floor, and he run a sleepy hand though his dark hair.

 

“You didn't come here to fuck me, did you, Vegeta?” He asked. His voice was oddly quiet, but in Vegeta's mind, it was a roar. A scream. A statement of obvious fact that both irritated and aroused him. Goten stood from the bed and sleepily padded into his bathroom, for the first time turning his back to Vegeta, not in dismissal, but in a strange waiting comfort.

 

It occurred to Vegeta, as he sat there on a bed that had seem so much of this boy's blood, that Goten had full power to fend him off. The boy was indeed his father's son, and while the Son family did not lay down for anyone, this boy…this copy of Kakarot…laid down and submitted himself to Vegeta like Goku never had, and at that moment, watching the sleepy boy nurse a glass of water at the bathroom sink, Vegeta realized that Goten was not Kakarot, and that Kakarot was never coming back.

 

“Tell me about that day in the valley.” Vegeta demanded. The demand was not a request, nor did it leave any room for discussion. It was time that the boy came clean. Insanity had worked its way into Vegeta's heart like a poison, but the insanity hidden inside of Goten was much worse. While Vegeta had Goten as an outlet, Goten had no one, and as a result, the powerful emotions and anger welled up inside of him like a festering puss filled wound, waiting for the day to be released into his blood like a seething hatred into the heart of an angel.

 

Goten put the empty glass down and turned off the light to the bathroom, once again causing his room to be bathed in moonlight. He sat down on the bed behind Vegeta, rested his beautiful hands in his lap and sighed. “What is there to tell?” He lamented. “Gohan saw it. I know he did. I felt him get angry after….after Dad and I…”

 

“You kissed. I know. I saw.” Vegeta said airily, waving his hand. “I want to know what happened.” Goten nibbled his bottom lip as Vegeta shifted himself to lean back into the wall, and again, the prince's eyes softened slightly, waiting for him to speak. “Well?” He prodded.

 

“He was pissed off that day.” Goten recalls. “He was angry at me for making Mom cry. He cared about her, did you know that? He really did. It was just that when the full moon rolled around, he always acted funny, kinda like you do. Mom always told me that the moonlight made him drunk like alcohol makes humans drunk, but I wasn't really sure what to think of all that.”

 

Vegeta listened patiently as Goten continued quietly, his voice relaxing and easing into a comforting lull that made the prince almost feel like he was listening to a twisted fairy tale from the lips of a tainted angel. “Anyway, Dad wanted to spar to get out a little excess energy from his system…at least that's what he said. We went to our usual spot. You know that spot past the mountains in that deep valley? You remember. We sparred until we were tired, but he just didn't want to stop.”

 

“In a way, I could almost feel him snap, y'know? There was more to it than me making Mom cry, and I should have been more careful, but before I knew it, we were both pissed. He ascended before I did which kinda scared me. I was really afraid that he might kill me in some manic fit of rage, but instead, he just kept coming at me with punches and kicks. He never blasted me with his ki, and to this day, I still don't know what held him back.”

 

“There was this smell on him. I can't quite describe it…”

 

“Like spiced cinnamon tea with milk…” Vegeta finished quietly. “…and the scent of fresh rain and moist earth.”

 

Goten's eyes widened and he nodded. “Yeah. Exactly like that. It was…well, it turned me on quicker than anything I'd ever experienced. Well, that, plus I was only what…fifteen at the time? Raging hormones. Plus the whole Saiya-jin blood thing. With all that mixed together, I ascended too… It just kept going and going, until there was this one point… Dad had a favorite hold. The one that locks your arms. Remember that hold? It hurts a lot.”

 

“But he locked my arms across my chest, facing me, and I was yelling at him. I can't even remember what I was saying. I'll bet Gohan probably remembers. But he just got this real strange look on his face, and that smell…It was so thick that I could nearly taste it, and it was doing funky things to me like turning me on. I can remember being sick to my stomach. That was my father for Kami's sakes!” Goten began to get a little more emotional, the words pouring from his mouth like quiet poetry in the moonlight.

 

“It was sickening. I felt like I wanted to throw up all over him for looking at me like that, and you know the worst part was that I liked it. I saw him as everything. He was a hero, a fighter, a combat genius, talented with ki, unique…Very unique…and so benevolent. Big word, huh? Yeah…he was always so nice to everyone. Even you when you tried to kick his ass. Don't get mad. He did kick your ass a few times.” Goten's hesitations were forgotten as he relived his tale and spoke to Vegeta about his father.

 

“Yeah, but this guy that was so perfect to everyone was beating the shit out of me and looking at me like he just wanted to throw me down…and…”

 

“Rape you?” Vegeta finished flatly. Goten nodded and looked away from the prince, almost embarrassed at bringing that up around the brooding Saiya-jin.

 

“…and yeah…But I thought he was just gonna hit me again, and low and behold, he just… he let my arms go, and I can remember him shoving his hands into my hair. You know, when you ascend to the third level, your hair gets really coarse and rough, no matter how pretty it is. I remember it hurting a little, but yet, he seemed so gentle at the same time.”

 

“I remember telling myself that it was wrong. That what he was fixing to do was disgusting. I still think it is, but when it happened, I couldn't turn away. It was like I was watching it happen to someone else, and when I had the chance to tell him to stop, to throw him off of me, to scream, to kick, or just to blast him into the side of a mountain, I couldn't do it.”

 

Goten shuddered for a minute. “I've never had a kiss like that. You know, don't you? The way that he kisses. It's like…fire. His lips are really hard. Did you ever notice that? When he kisses, he's so mean and sadistic that I almost forgot who I was kissing to begin with! I wanted to stop…honestly I did. But I wanted to feel the way his hair felt in my fingers that way, and before I knew it, I was kissing him back.”

 

“I remember his taste. He's sweet like sugar, and he almost tastes like he sucked someone off and still had their come on his tongue. It's a turn on and yet, it makes my stomach turn. My own father. God, it makes me sick just thinking about it, and yet, for some strange, offset reason, I can't bring myself to think about it as ugly. You know that we're beautiful, right, Vegeta?” Goten kept looking into those piercing charcoal eyes with questions, looking for affirmation to his strained story.

 

“As Saiya-jins, we're really beautiful. We don't age like the humans, and we really don't act like them. I mean, we have the same emotions, but it's like ours are bigger and more bad. It's like sticking human emotions under a microscope and increasing the magnification to one thousand. Trunks used to tell me…Trunks.” He faltered off for a moment, and Vegeta felt a strange regret pool in his stomach.

 

Vegeta never felt regret for the things he did, and yet, here he sat, still marveling at how a creature that looked so much like his father could be so amazingly different. Vegeta pushed away the tender thoughts and settled for more logical conversation at this point, and he opened his mouth to speak, the rough voice seeming almost like silk in the still air of the room. “I know about Trunks.” He stated emotionlessly. Goten's eyes fearfully flitted up to his, afraid of the worst treatment possible for sleeping with the prince's son, but when his chocolate brown eyes met deep charcoal black, something in those depths shocked him. Understanding. Sickening, disgusting pity. Goten nearly wanted to wretch right there, but he controlled himself as Vegeta spoke to him.

 

“I also know that he's aware of our…situation. In any case, he's in love with you for reasons that I can't fathom. You are your father's baka son after all. I confronted him, and he denied me the right to fight him because he is disgusted with my actions.” Vegeta snorted. “Fucking coward.”

 

Goten felt himself oddly comforted by the familiar show of Vegeta's grating arrogance, and he sighed slightly into the moonlit darkness of the room. “He can't even look at me.” He said softly. “It's like he looks at me and sees right into me, and it's killing me….It's that girl. That bitch.” Goten's voice suddenly hardened, and his chocolate eyes flashed anger. “She's a fucking whore, that one. She manipulated us….to…right there in the club.”

 

“What girl?” Vegeta demanded.

 

“That Diana Shelton chick. The American. It's like she knows what we want. It's weird.” Goten's eyes watch Vegeta closely as the prince leans forward, his eyes darkening in rage.

 

“She's a Saiya-jin! I could smell it on her in the laboratory. I don't know how she's made it thus far without any of us tracing her ki signature, seeing as how she has difficulties controlling it.” Goten's eyes suddenly widened.

 

“Hey…she has a scent kinda like Dad did. It's really strong too. Did you notice it?”

 

Vegeta grunted. “She's seeking. The human term I guess is that she is in heat? But that is so crude. She tried to scrub away the scent before she went to the lab. At least the woman has some grasping of what makes men around her act like wanton animals, but she is not aware of anything else, and quite frankly, neither is Trunks, Gohan, or you. Even Pan or Bra for that matter. Saiya-jin females are…different from males.”

 

“Different, how? Are you saying she's a full blood?” Goten gaped. Vegeta seemed to pause.

 

“Full blood, indeed, baka. However, she is not completely intact. There is something about her mentality that abuses her programming so that she is not sane enough to comprehend whatever mission it was that was given to her before she was sent her. It is a situation much like your baka father's, but it is more dangerous. Her programming remains partially intact as I gathered in the labs.”

 

Goten thought for a minute and bit his bottom lip, making Vegeta almost groan in sexual frustration. “So where the hell did she come from?” The prince's gloved hand began to trace idle shapes on Goten's exposed back, absently wondering whether he should take him tonight or not. Goten could feel the bile rising in the back of his throat, but he couldn't make Vegeta stop. It felt too good.

 

“Vegeta-sei, I imagine.” Vegeta answered dryly. “But it doesn't matter right now until I know more. I need to sift out her programming to learn more about her.” The hand paused its movements and pulled away from Goten, leaving him oddly relieved and frustrated at the same time. The prince gracefully moved off the bed, and without a second look to Goten, he moved to the open window and looked up into the stars.

 

“Vegeta?” Goten questioned quietly.

 

The prince turned to Goku's youngest heir, and with an inexplicable emotion in the depths of his fiery eyes, he spoke quietly. “The next time I come will be the last. Make sure you understand that.” With those words, he left out the window into the night, leaving Goten again, but this time, the sheets were not marked with his blood. Instead, they were clean, but Goten almost felt empty and lost without the familiar inflicted pain. While the sheets were not splattered with blood and semen, he morbidly wished that they were.