Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Fall Of The Lost ❯ Growing Realities ( Chapter 7 )

Warning: A little violence, language, yaoi and mental issues.

Disclaimer: I in no way own Dragonball Z or any of the associated characters herein this work of fiction written purely to express my fan-girl issues.

Chapter Seven: Growing Realities

Bra was so happy.

Her shining face brought out the youthful innocence her long white dress portrayed. Ah marriage. Wonderful.

I stood in the front isle wishing I were anywhere else but at this `joyous' occasion. It was Bra's wedding to a guy named Elliott. I didn't like him much, far too flaky for my sister. But I believe she picked him because he was also dependable in her eyes. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my black silk lined pants. This was so boring. I could have been doing a million other things than be here. My eyes drifted to Goten who sat several places along from me. He was not concentrating on the ceremony at all, his hands were caught up fidgeting with his white pearl cuff-links that his mother had given him long ago for when he would one day get married. Since he was wearing one of his few formal suits I guessed he had decided to wear them. It was a bit odd, but then he was a bit odd so said many people. I didn't think so personally. Compared to me he was completely normal. Oh if only those sad sad people knew the thoughts that went on inside this lavender capped head of mine. I repressed a cynical smirk. Oh they would scream if they knew…

Goten had acted weird ever since Chichi's death. Although I didn't like her, he had been very close to her. It had pretty much been just Chichi, him and Gohan for most of his life. And me of course, I had always been there. For him and with him. Trunks and Goten. We were a pair.

I continued to watch him out the corner of my eye and I saw him staring at Bra. Was it the dress? I flicked my eyes to look and noticed once again that smile she had on her face. Why did it look so wrong with those Saiyan eyes? Surely Elliott knew she was not entirely human? But then I had not brought that topic up with my sister. I looked back at Goten; a frown creased my forehead. He is staring at her! Then I suddenly realised the obvious. I repressed a growl and bit my tongue. How?! Damn it! How had I missed it! There he is, watching his secret crush getting married. And here I am sitting here in this tailored suit, I with all my millions and all my power. Sitting here and watching that dreamy whimsical look on his face! I sit here and I do nothing… I felt blinding jealousy writhe through me like a vicious raven picking at my guts. I swear I heard a familiar high-pitched laugh echo from far off. Oh the fucking irony. He was in love with my sister. And here I sat in love with him. I felt like killing something. Maybe my sister. She didn't see my death glares. She was too busy staring dreamily into Elliott's milky brown eyes. And so we suffer in our tangled webs.

Why had I never realised. Stupid! Stupid! I had been too busy accumulating my power, too busy pretending, too sure that he was mine for when I wanted to grab him. And all that time that I wasn't paying attention he slipped out of my grasp. No.. he was not gone yet! So what if he loved her! I pushed the snarl out of my lungs under my breath. She was getting married. And wasn't I Trunks?! Son of Vegeta! I could have anything I wanted… all I had to do was reach out and take it. I would have him. In my own time… Then as I sat there, people crying out happily as bride and groom kissed, as they threw rice into the air, a small smile crept to my face. A small devious smirk. My eyes flicked to Goten who had stood and watched Bra from a distance, wanting in his gaze. Adoring friends surrounded the couple. They wouldn't notice us… A memory came to me, and with it an idea.

~*~

Several months earlier..

I watched her.

I felt so miserably weak. If only there was some way I could grant her some of my never-ending strength. Even if it was just so she could hold on a little longer.

Her beautiful sky blue hair was loose and shimmering down her back. The faded yellow dress seemed formless on her wasted body. Old Grim had come to claim her; there was nothing I could do.

Not a thing!

Me, one of the worlds most powerful men. Helpless in the face of mortality.

Bra was sitting with her now. They were talking quietly; I could have listened if I wished. But this was their time I suppose. Looking at Bra now, a young woman, its hard to think of her as the punk goth she had been. In her red leather.

It seems she still fancied the colour. Very tidy she was, in a burgundy suit, her hair in a tight bun. Her hand suddenly skittered up from its limp position on her lap to cover her lips. Her eyes widened with agony. Mother must have mentioned her own death again.

Emotions are funny. They can make you scream louder and harder than any physical pain. I kind of wanted to scream like that right now. I could do nothing to save my mother. And the frustration was killing me.

I watched Bra stand. Her blue eyes slowly closed, her mouth pinched as she gathered the strength to leave. She walked out swiftly. As she bushed past me she muttered something about a board meeting. I heard her sobs break as she left the hallway behind.

Slowly I turned back to face mother. I had never seen an angel before. And ever since that evening I never saw another. She looked sad.

What a weak word.. three letters. Its meant to sum up the enormity of the emotion behind her tear blue eyes. Those are things she shared with us. Her eyes and her hair.

Every one I ever met commented how much my eyes were like my mothers.

"You eyes are like you're father's Trunks." She said, her voice weak and hushed from a lifetime of screaming at stupid men. I glanced up at her; my rough hands were sunk in the warm depths of my jean pockets.

"Why do you always say that?" I asked. I think my voice sounded harder than I wanted it to. Her eyes crinkled with pain for a moment.

"Have you ever looked in a mirror?" She said with a faint smile. Her hand drifted down to stroke the duvet as she sat down on the bed.

I looked away for a moment. I didn't like mirrors much. "Your eyes are as dark as Vegeta's."

I then realised she wasn't talking about colour. I fixed my gaze back on her. Despite knowing I asked any way, "What do you mean?"

Her smile became wry. "Your ambition shines through as dark as his did.. once."

I had heard the tales of course. The stories of what my father use to do.. "Once?" I asked. My feet shuffled, I was uncomfortable. I guess I'm not all that emotional right? I'm not meant to be.

She grinned for a moment. "The man I fell in love with was different to the man you knew." Her head bowed for a moment, remembering.

"When I first saw him on Namek, he had such focus, such need, such ambition. His eyes sparkled with it. He was like a dark brilliant flame. He was truly the Prince he always called him self. But.." she sighed heavily. "When he came here..he seemed lost. Then after Goku died, he also seemed to die. His will seemed.. transparent. He would do as I asked instead of arguing over every little thing. That light faded slightly. Every year it got a little less. Then, after Buu.. for a while he had it again. He seemed almost happy. But it wasn't to last.."

Why is she telling me this..

"He was always lost, Trunks. Always alone. No one understood him. Perhaps Goku did, but he never really showed it around us. Even I never really did understand. I mean how can you understand him. He was like a stone wall. He had no others like him, no people. Imagine being the last human, Trunks.. imagine it. Lost amongst creatures that were so different to your self. He was royalty, born to rule his entire race. He was worse than an out cast."

Her smile became self mocking.

"I guess at first I tried to understand him, he was so mysterious. I was drawn. That's why I invited him to stay here at first. But I never really thought about it until he was gone. Not really." She sat silently for several long minutes as I absorbed what she was saying to me.

"You.. you share a similar thing with him.. in here." She tapped her forehead lightly. I saw her face tense as she struggled for the right words. "Don't ever forget your father Trunks. And.. if you can, try to find him for me once I.." She looked away. A small sad smile came then.

She looked at me, a glimmer of hope. "I know you will make him proud." She seemed to tighten her resolve and reached out to grasp my hand pulling me down to sit beside her. She breathed in and looked me straight in the eye. "If you remember your father, always, then live for his memory! Make him proud of you and make sure you keep this place just right." She nodded. I think she was loosing it a little. "Keep this world safe, for his sake. The Saiyan Prince." She said the last bit almost mockingly. And yet it was no mockery of my father, perhaps it was irony she spoke of? Irony? Was there irony? Of course there was. There was irony in everything. Fucking irony.

~*~

Present…

I opened the door and a spray of sparks drew my eyes to a huddled figure. Gohan was bent over his work, a welder in one hand, protective goggles over his eyes, making them look bulbous like some great insect. I raised my hand and smiled darkly at him. His head looked up slightly but he didn't stop welding whatever thing-ma-bob he was creating.

I stood there, dressed casually in baggy jeans and a loose grey T-shirt, my hands in my pockets, thumbs hooked around my belt. I lent against the wall and watched him for several long minutes. My dark blue eyes roved around this sparse lab situated in the lower bowls of Capsule Corps.

A breeze from the open door scattered my fringe into my eyes and I huffed it away, dragging one finger through my hair to tuck the loose strands away from their irritating freedom. My eyes turned back in silent observation as the Son twisted the gas off to the blue flame in his right hand. He peered up at me through the smudged goggles and I noticed with slight amusement that his lips tightened in irritation. He quickly shoved the goggles up to his forehead. The movement forcefully pushed his short black spikes backward over his scalp. "What." He said sharply and glared at me through dark ringed eyes. Aw.. The poor thing. Having nightmares still are we?

I pouted slightly and walked slowly towards him, my eyes staring straight into his. I had been thinking about that idea for some time. Ever since that bloody wedding. This idea of something I couldn't have done before now, obligations and all.. But I could shove the workload on to Bra for a little while. Sure she had her own company and her husband now, but I knew she would just love to get her hands on Capsule Corps for a few months. I smirked and I saw the Son grow nervous under my gaze. Hmm.. Nothing wrong with a little toying now and then.

I walked right up to him, invading his personal space uncomfortably and I grinned widely with my canines in full gleam. My hands where still shoved tightly in my pockets and although I was a few inches shorter than Gohan, I saw him quail slightly. I smirked and his usual stoic face twisted into a snarl. "What. The. Hell. Do. You. Want." He growled at me through his tightly clenched teeth. He slammed the welder down on his worktable with an angry clang.

I leaned back slightly and smiled wickedly. "Gosh Gohan, why so tense? You really should relax.." I slowly reached out one hand and he watched it with a growl forming deep in his throat. I swiftly changed tactics and patted him on the shoulder as I walked around behind him. I walked towards the large garage doors at the far end of the vast room and said, "I want you to build me a space ship!" I spread my arms out wide over all the sheets of metal and the vast collection of materials that filled up the underground lab.

The doors at the far end were at the pinnacle of a long upward sloping cement ramp that opened out on to the vast green back yard of Capsule Corps. Once he had finished building my ship, it would be hauled through those doors to the grassy field above. From there, I would travel out into space and look for my father. Goten with me, of course. It was all part of my plan. When I turned around I was faced with a gaping Gohan. "Wha.. what?!" For some reason he blushed heavily and looked away, raising his hand to rub his face with a groan.

"You heard me." I said and narrowed my brows with a small smile. "I'm going.." I waved my hand in the air. "..out there to look for Vegeta."

I don't think I really expected his next reaction. Gohan threw his head back and laughed. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him as he continued his strange unnatural cackle. "Ha! You want to go find him?! Impossible!" He sneered at me. " Don't you get it Trunks?! The man is fucking dead! His skeletons drifting way out there with the rest of the cosmic junk! He isn't coming back. Frankly I can't believe you still have hope that he's alive." He turned his back on me and raised his hand to pull his goggles back over his eyes.

How dare he! I growled and in a blink vanished and swung my fist into the side of his head. Gohan flew to the side, smacking into the wall, his head connecting with a sick crack. Hn, well he wasn't expecting that now was he. I clenched my fists and snarled at his stunned wide eyes. "Build me a fucking ship." I snarled, my eyes wide with rage. "It's not your place to question my reasoning!" I stalked towards him and he sat up flush with the wall staring at me. I raised my black booted foot and placed it squarely on his chest and pushed in. He grunted painfully and my scowl turned into a sadistic smile.

There was a loud crack and he whimpered. "Damn it Trunks! I can't build it if you break my ribs!" He whined and pushed at my foot. He did have a point. I stood back and folded my arms over my chest.

"Do it. Have the blue prints on my desk by next Thursday." I said in a cold voice. I sneered at him and kicked him lightly on his sprawled right leg before turning around and walking out of the dank lab.

As the door slid shut behind me I heard him mutter, "Asshole.."

~*~

Gohan wasn't doing too good. And that was obvious to every one. He had thrown him self into his creations. His own strange with-drawl from the world seemed mirrored in the actions of his father. Goku also seemed to enclose him self in training and seclusion after my mother died.

Some times Goten would mention what his father was up to when he started yammering on about crap. Crap that I loved to listen to. The last I heard the `saviour of the Earth' had taken up training with that Namek, Piccolo. Good for them. As long as they didn't get in my way I didn't give a damn. As it was I was setting my plans down in granite. After his initial dismissal of my plans, Gohan had thrown him self into the project of my ship with gusto. The blueprints for it arrived two days early and they surprised me with their detail and perception. They had no doubt given Gohan several nights of dark rings under his eyes. But that was really his problem. I was supremely happy with them and gave the man a pay rise. As though that would end his agony. But I'm a cruel man. I'm not going to deny that. No. Never that.

Bra was happy with her new life. Not that it was really any different than her old one. She just liked to say it was new, perhaps it helped her deal with all her past pains. Some times she would look at me with that knowing look she had as a child. As though she had some kind of ability which gave her the gift of seeing into minds. I hated that look. I knew she didn't have a clue of what was going on inside of my head. No one did.

Goten moped about, half the time secretly spying on her. It made me sick watching him stare after her like a dog, and it made me furious that I felt that way just because of him. I was angry that I was jealous and I was angry that another person could make me so mad. So damn insane. I would listen in quite fury as he talked constantly about her. And `oh how great Elliott was' when I knew he despised him. Why couldn't Goten see we were perfect for each other! Why could he not see the way my eyes lingered upon him for a little too long. Or when there was an uncomfortable silence where I just stared at him and he stared back, did he realise then? No he didn't have a clue did he.

Well I would give him a clue. I would wake him up. Going out into space to look for my father with him was the most excellent opportunity.

~*~

Goten was asleep on the couch. One arm hanging of the yellow suede cushion. I stood over him, my eyes admiring, and my hands deep in my pockets to resist the temptation to touch such divine perfection. If any one had walked into the lounge and saw me, they would have easily seen the naked lust in my eyes as I stared in complete fixation. But if any one had walked in just then I would have lazily raised my arm and blown them away. Most likely without blinking or moving my azure eyes from the shining obsidian locks of his hair. It had taken me a long time to realise just how strongly my level of desire for Goten was. It had to have been the wedding that had sparked the flame that had smouldered for so long within me. I just couldn't stand the way he had stared at Bra with such open longing when I had secretly desired him for so long. Ahh me.. the fickle bastard prince.

He stirred slightly and his arm was flung gracelessly back over his naked chest. I think the sudden movement gave me a slight surprise as I jumped and snapped out of my daze.

"You're kidding your self if you think he'll ever love you back." Came a voice that imitated my bored drawl perfectly. My head snapped up and I saw my reflection in the mirror over the mantle. I hate mirrors.

And there was the reason for it.

He smiled at me with his mouth, his light blue eyes staying that same dull angry look. Like he was angry that that was all he was, a reflection. At least I liked to believe that was all he was. He tilted his face arrogantly. Once again an expression I had worn numerous times. But then since he was me, of course I was going to recognise it for what it really was. He hated me. Through and through to my very bones he hated me. That Trunks in the mirror hated the Trunks here, in the world, me. Did he feel as lost as I did?

"You don't know that." I whispered back. I didn't want to wake the sleeping devil that rolled over on his side, a frown on his forehead as though he was having a nightmare. The other Trunks smiled again. I was not sure if he was from my future or another future or who he truly was. All I knew was that he was older than I was and he had a clean scar over his face. The first meeting between us had been mad and bloody. But I knew this one would not. There would be no shattered glass or blood this time. Not with Goten asleep right there beside me. Goten was my sanity.

"How do you know? Maybe I've already done it? Maybe I already know what will happen?" he had this amused look now, his hands deep in his pockets as mine were. "Since you seem so sure that I'm your future self or some garble." He was mocking me again. But his words didn't touch my skin.

I mirrored his arrogant tilt. "Fine, whatever you are… Will I find him?" I was meaning my father of course. If he was my future self he would know. The question seemed to catch him off guard and he hesitated for too long. His face went blank and he stared at me now as though I was a threat.

"No, of course you won't. You should forget about him. He's nothing but trouble for you." Was this thing giving me advice now?! I had seen Hamlet, I knew not to trust in things that were like spirits. He may have been my doppelganger but from the things he had done and said in the past I knew not to trust him.

"How do I know what you're saying is the truth?" I said so quietly that I could barely hear the breath pass through my lips. Even though, he still heard me. And he smiled again, bitterly this time.

"You don't. And if I were you and you were me, which we are, then you would know to trust no one. Not even your little slut there." His grin turned icy and then with the next blink of my eyes I was staring at me in the mirror. He was gone. I let out my held breath and I realised my hands were shaking.

"Trunks?" I jumped and stared at Goten who peered up at me with chocolate eyes. I huffed out a breath and turned away from him to walk out the door. Before I reached the door I called out in an off-handed way.

"I want you to come with me." As I entered my large office I heard his feet quickly hit the floor and he entered into my office after me, pulling on his shirt.

"Where?" he said lightly. Why is it he always sounded like he never had a care. I turned about in my high-backed leather chair with a charming smile.

"Space. I'm going to look for Vegeta."

TBC…