Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Hunter ❯ Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My ship sort of crash landed at the space port. Crappy piece of shit. Sighing I whacked some buttons. A gas valve broke. My hair as usual, fashionably weird. I blew at it and shrugged. Like the ship. Hopeless. Rose and stumbled out. Hitting my head against the same monitor I had the whole time I used this thing. I needed a new…

I strolled outside and lit a cigarette and inhaled. Ah…that was nice. My question if they had passed by was soon answered when three jumped me. So rude, with their pointy ears and teeth…Quickly my katana sword cut off their heads. They rolled away. Crap. Another nest. Ah well. A girls job is never finished. Always cleaning up. What now emancipation. Why did I do this again? Oh yeah, because I was made for it. Dirty job, but someone had to do it. Now where was that stinking royal family.

Silence greeted me as I strolled carefree through endless hallways. Around were dead scattered. Some so attacked it was hard to see what they represented once. One good thing of space ports was…NO FLIES. I hated flies… Somewhere water dripping on the pipeline. Smirking I grabbed my sword and whacked hard on it a couple of times. With their keen sense of hearing…not nice…Hehehe. With luck they had a massive headache and ringing ears. Loved pipes… In the darkness some scuffling. Bingo… Some more whacks just for the fun of it. More scuffling…hmm…Slowly I walked over. Like a clock I whacked the pipes.

"Tick…tack…Time is up…" I sung.

"NEVER…DIE…"

"So brave…so DEAD…" As it jumped me I dove and cut it in two. He came with enough speed at me. Fool.

"Hurts…don't it?" Snickering I turned at an angry wailing voice calling out brother or something like that. Soon it stopped as the head rolled past my feet. "Didn't anyone told you to shut up?" Bored I strolled to the core. How nice…a BAR. I kicked the doors open and put my sword back.

"GIMME A BEER…" People, still alive hanging upside down. Comatose. Blood loss is a bitch…my shoulders sagged annoyed. "I needed to get drunk…crap…A Vamp bar…go fig. My luck…YOH bartender! Gimme a beer anyway…you die soon enough." Some grinning as I caught the beer they threw. I hopped on the bar and watched them laughing continue where they left off. I took 4 beers. Was kind of fun…Gets lonely you know.

"AH YOU…KILL HER…" aw. Queeny screwed up my drinking…Work to do…darn…

"OKAY, funs over." Drank my last bottle down and tossed it to bits on the bar. Holding the neck and the sharp glass edge. Hmm. Potential…

"KILL HER NOW, SHE'S THE HUNTER FOOLS…"

"Yadda-Yadda-Yadda…" I muttered bored, waving the bottle neck. Like one my use to be drink buddies attacked. Grabbing my sword and using the bottle neck for my free hand I chopped them up. Strolling I snickered to the Queeny.

"Is it my lucky day?" I purred. Putting my sword against her neck. She was pale. Duh she was a vamp. "Nope not my day. GIT, I want to get drunk."

"But…"

"GO AWAY. Make more nests. I have to get a living. My hobby and job. Procreate. Go forth and multiply and all that shit." She bailed. There. ALE. All for her too. Had to be another ship around here anyway. Putting my bloodied sword aside I grabbed more bottles. After I drunk more empty I put them in a row and used a head as a bowling ball.

"SttttrrrrrIKE…I'm good. Hiccup." I laughed to myself. I needed music. "MUSIC ON…" blues were played. Depressing… "METAL." Head banging I kicked heads away.

"I'M A FREAK OF NATURE…" I howled with the better singing voice. Laughing I fell down over a head that was pretty much round and peered at a kinda cute head. She grabbed it and put it on a ton before her, flopping on a chair.

"Wanna have a drink?" I started talking to him. Being too much alone and such… "I know all about it. Never lose your head about a girl I always say…" I burst out laughing. "Losing you head…y'know? You have no humour." I laughed so hard I fell back. I peered at tree sets of boots.

"Who are you." Someone hissed. Grinning I peered up.

"Eh…nice hair…The name is Hunter…" I used my feet to toss the head to him. He caught it calmly. "Head hunter…" now we both burst out laughing. " He didn't keep his head on the job." I snickered.

"Just jumped in, I always say never lose your head over your job." The other two started laughing too.

"Yoh guys. Heads up!" I tossed more heads and rolled around in bliss. "Don't yell too much they have a headache. Particularly this one." I cracked his skull earlier.

"Seriously…" I sobbed in glee as I sat on the ground. Funny… I glanced at the bloke who spoke earlier.

"What? Me serious. Lighten up…My cigarette that is." I burst out laughing again. Wiping tears away. He sat before me on one knee. I clasped my hands.

"I DO…" I whistled the wedding march…Drunk I giggled at him. "Our kids will be so cute. Their not hard to find with that flame hair, and they will have great humour…"

"Who the hell are you, and your drunk. You reek too."

"Like you don't? where did you bathe, in your own crap? Ever heard of deodorant?" I replied. Shish.

"The name is Vegeta, and yours." I wasn't very nice…more corny.

"Which name is? Mine? Cause my designation actually is test tube Yadda-yadda-yadda, date yadda. And yours?"

"You're a clone?" I glared at him.

"I resent that. Like my 409.764.653 siblings." I burst out laughing again. "409.764.652 died. So that means I'm unique." I smirked. "Top that buster."

"I only have 52 ancestors."

"Beat yah. Wanna beer?"

"Yeah."

"Good. There is the bar. Help yourself. The bartender had a break down. His parts are scattered there I think." I giggled and hiccupped.

"They look odd…" Hairball knelt down by one.

"DUH." I muttered. "Hairball, they were Vamps? I sort of hunt them. Call me…Hunter. VAMP hunter." Dramatic I posed. What now over acting.

"Hey Hunter! Catch." I blindly caught it and hugged it. Beer!!

"Thanks Vegs…"

"It is VEGETA."

"What ever."

"Shall I kill her?"

"Eh shush toupee. Or I'll shave yah." I muttered. "That sad bunch you have is withering as we speak. You should water it…"

"Was that an insult?" Vegeta burst out laughing.

"Yes Napa that was an insult. 2 to be exact. And no you cannot."

"Computer…download files from my ship. Access TNC 3. Play now."

-Downloading…completed…accessing…playing… ;- I laughed once. How corny. Trance echoed through the room as the others glanced up frowning. I staggered up as beer flew around me. Oh…target locked…I tossed mine down as he bend over. Oh yum… With both hands I feld his ass. OHHH yeah… stiff he rose as Baldy and Vegs laughed.

"Feels nice…" I lulled. "You work out eh? You SO work out…" Hairball glanced at me. Unsure if he should be offended. I whacked his ass. My hand tingled. "Hot pants baby. Looks great on yah."

"Maybe you should sleep it off Hunter." I waved Vegs's words off.

"NAH. I'm not drunk yet. I'm a night person. Comes with the job." I hiccupped. " See? Not drunk yet. I can still walk straight." I kicked tables aside.

"Onna…you are walking all over the room…Your not walking to the bar yet…your as drunk as they get before passing out."

"I NEVER pass out. I can't remember I did…" I frowned. Vegs laughed more.

"My stomach! I wonder how your siblings were…as crazy as you?"

"Nope, too sane. They died. Job stress." I giggled. "They had a breakdown too. I think some went into some suns…others were ripped to pieces. Being very popular…they couldn't handle the crowd you know."

"What species are you then?" Vegs mused. He must be the smart ass. I waddled over and crawled on the bar and lay before him. Both face to face.

"I…am from the renowned…Vamp Hunter clan. Travelling is our name. And Chopping our game. Even if there is only one. Get it?"

"Right…we are Saiyans. Last of three."

"Four." Hairball corrected.

"Right…four…"

"FOUR IN A ROW…I win…" I muttered. "What is the prise…"

"Beer. Here." Near baldy put down a bottle.

"Ooh I'm bottle fed…" I grabbed it and sucked at it like an infant would.

"Well if you hunt down vampires. What do we have to do to get rid of them."

"Call me."

"How?"

"007 chipper chopper. Or mail to Yadda, Yadda Space dot com. And I have my beeper number 000.000.000.1/2."

"Was it 000.000.1/2?" Baldy mused.

"No add another 000. Oath."

"In other words, we can't contact you."

"Nope. Don't have any communication." I laughed loud. "Maybe smoke signals?"

"Light flashes? Flare gun?" I shook my head.

"Useless. Blow a sun up. That might work, only if I'm in the system. Gets dark then."

"Well you do need some sort of communication thing…Napa give her your scouter."

"Ooh…a what?" I took the tech-toy bemused. "Buttons!"

"I'll explain in the morning when your sober." Baldy took it back. Aw?

"Right…" I yawned after downing more bottles. I lay on my belly and peered at two drunk eyes staring back.

"Your eyes are bloody black…" I muttered to Vegs.

"Comes with the species. I can't define yours."

"Their multi-coloured to adapt to any darkness. Gimme a good night kiss."

"Huh? With all your germs…don't think so."

"AS IF I even wanted to be kissed by some alien I just met." I moped.

"If you insist…" I muttered I didn't when he kissed me. Hmm…nice… The kiss lasted and lasted and…he propped his tongue in my mouth so it lasted and lasted…while kissing he crawled over me. Made one heck of a u turn and flopped on me and kissed and kissed. Actually started warring on me. Tonsil wresting lost it's charm.

"You done?" I muttered between tongues.

"Almost." He muttered between tongues back. A wonder in itself we could understand the gibberish we said. Knock out the other blokes really snored…

"Whole forests are cut down…" I stated when he finally pulled back.

"Planets…" he grinned sleepy.

"Nite Vegs…"

"Nite Hun…" I fell asleep and he on top as I realised the following morning. I was SOAR.

"Get off me your fucking heavy." Smoothly I flopping him off me on the ground while I lay on the bar. "Fuck man you stink more then before…you died or something…" I growled with a massive hangover…I flopped my arm over my eyes. Ow… out of the speakers still my beloved hard music…just…not…NOW…I grabbed my gun and shot the 6 speakers.

"DON'T DO THAT WOMAN…" Vegs hissed. Rubbing his ears.

"Cant take a little laser?"

"The explosion with an hangover…NO."

"Poor you…Saiyans…I heard rumours…have to check my database in a few hours. Its down due to technical difficulties." I grunted. Hinting at my brain. I rolled off the bar on top of Vegs who grunted under me,. From him I rolled on a body and inhaled a clean bit of decomposing body. Wheezing I rose and ran out coughing. Green I hung against the door frame outside. More scuffling.

"Crap…I missed some…Better warn the blokes…or…naaaahhhh they will discover…" But I forgot my sword…crap…and my gun. Oath that I am…err…

"FUCK, get off me fledglings." I slammed teeth out of mouths as I kicked them off me. "Calll me your dentist!" with a crowbar I started whacking skulls in and aimed at mouths in particular.

"VEEEEEGGGGSSSS GET MY SWORD DAMNIT! COMPANY!!!"

"Yeah, yeah in your words yadda…FOCK…their ugly!" Vegs paused amazed.

"Right, hint, your food, gimme the sword." He tossed it over as he `blasted?' one behind me. Nice…But they just had a big hole in their chests.

"OATH. Head…the head jokes?"

"OHHH." Now he smartened up and blasted heads off bodies. Good boy. Meanwhile I cut them off. I ran after one outside and paused. Holy shit… Um…

"INCOMING!" I ran back in. "Queen listened too focking well."

"Huh…what? Where? SHIT! ONNAAA."

"Who Onna…what Onna…DIVE…" I knocked Vegeta over as some jumped over us into Napa's arms.

"Hey suckers…" he snapped their necks.

"CUT THEM OFF RUNT." I growled. Amateurs…meanwhile hairball was fending for himself nicely. Good lad. Vegeta and I were back to back.

"Vegs? Thow me up would yah?"

"How high. To the ceiling or through…"

"Through."

"You sure?"

"Positive. Gimme a footsy luv." He snickered.

"Luv even. Alright, Hun." And what a footsy…I had intended to use my sword for the ceiling…I never got the chance…dazed I flopped my arms on the ground. Ow…that like hurt? Next time a helmet. Damn that was fast. I wriggled out and pulled my sword with me. It was…BEND?

"FOOK you ass…" I howled through the hole. "Last time I call you luv. You bend my sword!"

"Come down, I'll pull it straight again. Off course they revive Napa. You don't sever their heads…" I sat up and shook my head. Runts…all three. I ran down the stairs and chopped into the group trying to get into the bar. Which had been my initial plan. I yelped as Vegeta fired at ME.

"DOUBLE ASS." He shrugged.

"Good reflex." I sat on a vampires shoulders and whacked my sword on Vegeta's head. It straightened again and I rammed it straight into the vampires head.

"Is it a bad thing if they bite?" Hairball mused as he shook some off him. He had bite marks ALL OVER…I paled.

"You…you…ASSES…Your more trouble then your worth!"

"Speak for yourself. I don't even have a scratch." I pointed at Napa and hairball.

"Hmm?" they were like cheese.

"I guess…bad thing?"

"VERY. I'll run out off antidotes…" So moody I didn't pay attention as three bowled me over and bit. Crap…crap…crap…crap…

"Â Get…off…ME NOW!" wow…they were like…so not impressed…was worth a shot…blurry…My vision phased in and out. 6 were sucking at the same time. Blood loss…still bitch…

"V…Vegs…leave me…blow…up…" And I passed out.

Vegeta peered at the woman and plucked off the blood suckers. Looked kinda pale…shit. Women had less blood then a man…crap…he just remembered.

"Okay guys, fun is over. Bail. I'm blowing this planet up as `requested' by miss Hunter. Raditsu grab her stuff."

"On it." The three men ran down the hall. Kicking vampires off them and soon they came in range of their pods. Vegeta carried the odd woman. Alright. "Everyone in the pods. Next stop will be base 12." Nodding the others flopped into theirs.

Vegeta put Hunter straighter before he closed the door. He still had to support her the whole trip. Better put her on oxygen and stuff too. She looked like crap. Some thuds as the vampires tried to pry the ships open. Snickering the Saiyans watched them fall off as they launched.

Outside of the atmosphere Vegeta loaded up and blew the whole planet to bits. Holding Hunter in one arm. Fixed. Calmly he sat back and draped her over him and put her on life support. Just in case. Wasn't pretty waking up with a decomposed body over your lap. He smacked the snooze and woke up before entering the atmosphere of base 12.

After landing he carried her personally to the sickbays and watched her being stripped by the doctors. So…she was a woman. So there weren't many warrior women. So he hadn't seen many…the reason he took her with them was because she actually was the first fighting woman he met…and she was maybe a bit younger then he was now. Also she grew up without parents…

"You. Fix this sword or make a better one with the exact same weight."

"Yes lord Vegeta."