Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Joy of Giving ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

The Joy of Giving

by Orchideater

Humor yaoi, one-shot, Gk/Vg, NC-17

Disclaimer: All DBZ characters property of Akira Toriyama and official licensees, therefore I make no money from this fic.

Summary: This is a side story to Pixelgoddess’s “Quest,” but it can stand alone as well. Vegeta goes to a clinic to donate sperm (intended for lesbian Chichi), and Goku insists on “helping” him. How can you *not* read this? XD

Quick summary for those who haven’t read Quest: At this point in the story Goku and Vegeta are bonded, but not fully mated yet. The kais have become their enemies and are out to kill them. Goku and Vegeta have recently returned from a trip to Vegeta-sei’s past, where Vegeta was able to speak once more with his beloved childhood mentor, Rouba.

---

The Joy of Giving

Goku halted his trek down the sidewalk to read aloud off the sign before him: “West City Reproductive and Family Planning Services, a division of CryoGenTechCorp.”

He tilted his head and looked over the modern, prefab building the sign spoke of. “So this is the place, huh? It’s so... plain and ordinary. Somehow I thought a place that collects and stores sperm would be a little more exciting.”

“Well, what did you expect, Kakarot? A castle?” Vegeta called back to him.

Goku looked up, and saw that Vegeta had stomped on ahead and was now almost to the entrance. “Hurry up! I want to get this over with as quickly as possible.”

Goku scrambled to catch up, and almost bowled him over when Vegeta stopped short in the outside doorway. Vegeta glared up at him and poked a determined finger into Goku’s chest.

“Now listen, Kakarot. I want you to just sit in the waiting room and wait for me quietly. You understand? If you embarrass me in there, I’ll kill you.”

Goku gave him a pouty frown, frustrated at Vegeta’s behavior. Vegeta had been moody ever since they returned from their trip to the past, and once the clinic visits started, his bad temper had returned as well. “Geez, why are you in such a bad mood today, Vegeta? You act like this is a punishment or something. It ought to be fun.”

“Fun?” he repeated irritably. “This is exactly why I didn’t want you coming along. You just don’t seem to understand that this whole procedure is humiliating.”

“Aw, come on. It can’t be that bad.”

Vegeta made a huff of derision and ignored him. Since his first visit to the clinic, Vegeta was quick to discover that artificially inseminating Chichi would be a lot more complicated than either of them had expected.

A person couldn’t just walk in and say “impregnate this woman with my sperm.” The medical center was extremely particular and cautious about whom they allowed to attempt the procedure and who was allowed to donate sperm, and the qualification proceedings were long and tedious.

The donor clinics were very strict about the rules in each step of the way, and would not accept anyone otherwise.

Over the past few weeks Vegeta had filled out endless forms and taken test after test. Furthermore, as a donor he was required to go through rigorous blood and genetic screenings, have a physical and genital examination, answer a long list of detailed questions about his medical history and his family medical history, and be interviewed by a counselor. The doctor assigned to Vegeta’s case had sat him down and made him endure a long speech on his legal rights, what would be required of him, what Chichi would have to go through in the artificial insemination procedure, and a discussion of the ethical, psychological, and moral issues that might come up in the case of using a known donor.

Vegeta had begun to think it would have been far easier and cheaper to just knock Chichi up the old-fashioned way; with enough booze they might not remember it in the morning. He found the intrusive exams and personal questions extremely embarrassing, and so forbade Goku from coming along.

Today, however, the big day when he would finally give them a donation, Goku simply wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and followed him.

They entered the waiting room, and Vegeta gave the receptionist his name. He sat down and hid behind a magazine, and Goku took a seat next to him. They sat in silence for several minutes while Goku took time to scan the room.

It was an average waiting room: chairs lining the walls, a table with old magazines, some indoor plants, and a few other people waiting their turns.

Just when Vegeta thought Goku might actually behave himself, Goku suddenly burst into laughter, which seemed doubly loud in the small, quiet space.

“What is wrong with you?” Vegeta said, mortified. “You’re making a scene!”

Goku wiped his eyes, still giggling. “Sorry, Vegeta, but being here and seeing that it’s actually going to happen kind of brought home the reality of it to me. It’s so funny when you think about it. My gay lover is going to donate sperm to knock up my lesbian ex-wife. Bwa-ha-ha!”

Vegeta fwapped him on the arm with his magazine. “Stop it! People are staring! Just sit there and read a magazine, will you?”

Goku managed to stifle himself. He’d barely begun to read last month’s issue of Extreme Fishing when the nurse showed, and called Vegeta.

Vegeta jumped up and hurried over, as if he hoped he could lose Goku, but no such luck. Goku was instantly by his side, startling the nurse.

Vegeta opened his mouth to snarl at him, but the nurse beat him to it. “I’m sorry sir– and you are?”

“My name’s Son Goku.” He grinned amiably and shook her hand.

“Oh, Mr. Vegeta’s partner,” she said, checking the papers on her clipboard. “It’ll just be a short wait, sir.”

“Sit back down, Kakarot!”

Goku looked confused for a moment. “But I’m coming too. I want to help.”

Vegeta turned red, and the nurse gave Goku a stern look. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait outside. No one else is allowed in the room with the donor at the time of donation. It’s strictly forbidden.”

“Aw, you’re kidding!”

Thank god, Vegeta thought, and made an angry gesture at Goku to sit down. Goku did so, looking thoroughly disappointed.

Vegeta had a short meeting with the doctor where he had to listen to yet another speech and fill out more forms, and then was escorted to one of the donation rooms, at the end of a hallway. Vegeta felt repulsed by the idea that there might be other strange men also masturbating behind the other closed doors lining the hallway.

The nurse showed him in, and he scanned the austere room. It was mostly bare, with a cushioned bench running the length of the wall on the shorter end of the room, a ceiling fan set on low, and a three-legged table topped with a lidded plastic cup and a bottle of rubbing oil.

The nurse explained the procedure to him a final time, as if he really needed detailed instructions on how to cum in a cup. “And here’s your donor aids, sir,” she added, rolling in a metal stand with a TV/VCR/DVD combo on top and two large plastic storage bins stacked on its base.

Vegeta looked at the items, then looked back at the nurse, perplexed. “What?”

“Your donor aids, sir. Erotic movies, toys, that sort of thing. Your partner told the receptionist that you’d need them.”

She seemed to take no notice of Vegeta’s gobsmacked expression. “Well, take your time, and give the sample to the head nurse’s station when you’re done. Good luck!”

She vanished and shut the door behind her, leaving Vegeta seething and ready to strangle his mate.

Through the frosted panels of the storage bins Vegeta could make out video tapes and other colorful, unidentified items that he could only assume were his “aids.” He scowled at them with disdain and gave them his back.

That lousy Kakarot! Now the entire clinic thought he couldn’t get it up without lots of perverted help. He’d get Kakarot for this.

Finally, realizing his anger would do him no good at the time, he released a great, dejected sigh and decided to concentrate on the task at hand.

Vegeta picked up the forlorn plastic cup and looked it over. What a dismal, lonely procedure. Maybe this whole dairi plan was a bad idea. It was hardly the time to have a woman pregnant with your child when the gods themselves had you on their hit list.

He had only seconds to wallow in his angst before a pair of large hands covered his eyes and a kiss was laid on his neck. “Miss me?”

“Gah!” Vegeta jumped and spun around. “Kakarot?”

Damn that instant transmission! He should have known. Vegeta lowered his voice and looked back and forth as though he could see through the walls and see if anyone had heard him. “What are you doing? You’re not allowed in here!”

“You don’t really think I’d let you do this alone, do you? What kind of mate would I be if I didn’t help you out?”

“Whuh–”

Goku quickly let him go and dropped to his knees before the box of sex paraphernalia; he ripped off the lid and hooted at its contents. “Ah, look at all this stuff, Vegeta! This is hilarious.”

He strewed out the items like a child at his toy box, looking over one thing for a moment before grabbing for something new. Vegeta could only stand and stare, his jaw hanging limply.

“Women’s underwear... porno mags... all these toys... Vegeta, look at this! ‘King Kock’!”

Goku whipped out a 14" canary yellow dildo molded from a gel-like rubber. He cranked the knob at its base up to the highest setting and the dildo began to wobble and vibrate wildly, emitting a loud buzz.

Goku laughed himself silly, but Vegeta found the notion of having a giant rubber penis pointing at him more embarrassing than riotous.

“Stop that, you fool!” he snarled, smacking the dildo away from him. Unfazed, Goku turned his attention to the porno instead.

“Look! Can you believe this? Big Butt Bonanza. Jugtastic Jamboree. And look at the gay ones: Horn of Plenty, starring Tricky Johnson. Dobutsujin Love XIII: Doin’ it Furry Style. Ew! Orange Island Orgy. Charming the Snake, the Erotic Dance of Dick Hightower. Ah-haha! We have to watch that one.”

He popped it into the VCR before Vegeta could sputter a protest.

“Are you insane? I don’t want to see some naked, oversexed stranger gyrating to bad music! And I won’t have you watching it either!”

“Oh lighten up, Vegeta, this will be a gas,” Goku said, fast-forwarding to the dance.

Goku burst into laughter again as it came on. “No way, is that real? This guy is like a freak of nature. He must have to be careful not to let his dick drop in the water when he sits on the toilet. Of course I’m cursed with a similar burden,” he bragged comically, “but I still have to feel sorry for the guy. Great dancer though. Look at him move.”

“KAKAROT!” Vegeta yanked the extension cord out of the wall, and the TV picture blipped away. “I will not have you watching the whorish exhibition of some depraved human. You are mine!”

“But you’re right here watching it too. It’s funny, Vegeta. I don’t get off on this stuff.”

“Funny? Funny?! You idiot! The making of a dairi is a sacred rite to be treated with the utmost respect! How dare you act so flippantly, laugh and joke when we are doing something important, during such dire times, and after all we’ve just been through at the lookout?”

Goku’s face hardened and he stepped forward, grasping Vegeta’s chin firmly in his hand and tilting his face up to look him in the eyes.

“I understand that just as well as you do, Vegeta. I have faith that we will beat the kais, and come out alive. But in the chance that we don’t, I don’t want to go to my grave knowing our last days together were gloomy and tense. Sometimes when things are at their worst, the one thing you need most is a good laugh. That’s how I’m dealing with it. Don’t talk to me like I don’t understand the gravity of our problems right now.”

Vegeta turned away in pained silence and Goku knew he’d understood. His face softened into tender compassion. He folded Vegeta into his arms and gave him a chaste kiss on the temple.

“Vegeta,” he said, his voice imploring and apologetic. “Don’t be sad about the past, or what’s to come. Let’s concentrate on the now, and enjoy it. We practically have our own little sex suite for the afternoon. Let’s make use of it. Making a baby is supposed to be a good time! Let’s have some fun and give these people something to talk about for months to come. Eh?”

Goku jostled him gently to get a response. Vegeta just pressed his forehead into Goku’s shoulder, and sighed dismally. “I’m just not in the mood for fun these days.”

Goku frowned and ran his fingers tenderly through Vegeta’s hair. Experiencing the past and losing Rouba again had really hit Vegeta hard. Pulling him out of his funk would take a great deal of effort. Goku wracked his brain for something that would work well and work fast, formulating a most unorthodox strategy...

“Vegeta,” he sang teasingly, pulling away from Vegeta and trying to look him in the face, though Vegeta refused to meet his gaze. “Vegeta, I want to see you smile. I’m not gonna give up until I make you laugh, Vegeta.”

Vegeta huffed and turned up his nose, pulling out of his embrace. “Don’t even waste your time trying. Stop fooling around.”

Goku paid no attention. “Too late. I’ve already made it my new personal quest in life. Vege-e-e-ta,” he wheedled away. “Can you guess what I’m gonna do, Vegeta? Huh? Can you? Huh?”

“Knock it off!”

Vegeta sat down on the bench and Goku dodged back and forth, trying to look in his face even though Vegeta kept turning away from him.

Goku slipped behind him and pulled the tops of his ears. This definitely got his attention, and Vegeta swatted at him and missed.

“Vege-e-e-ta. I’m gonna put on women’s underwear and dance around, Vegeta. And I’m not gonna stop until you la-a-augh, Vegeta.”

Vegeta finally looked at him, eyes going wide in shock. “Don’t you dare!”

“Ha-ha, here I go!” Goku pulled off his shirts and Vegeta spun around in his seat, giving him his back again and staring furiously at the wall, determined not to cooperate. He heard more clothes rustle behind him and figured Goku must be naked by now; Goku confirmed his suspicions when he threw his boxers at Vegeta to try and get him to turn around.

“Woo, lookit all the pretty things girls wear,” Goku said. “Hey, I like this one. Scandalous. Look, it has only a strap going up the back, Vegeta!”

Vegeta mentally groaned. He’d picked out a thong. As appealing as it would be to see his mate in something like that– one made for men, of course– right now he was in no mood for Goku’s foolishness. He refused to give Kakarot the satisfaction of knowing this show succeeded in changing his mood.

He heard Kakarot shifting about, humming obnoxiously to fill the silence, then, “Ugh! Sheesh, this is uncomfortable,” he said. Had Vegeta turned around, he would have seen Goku squirming and picking at the elastic edges of the get-up.

“Girls sure go through a lot to look sexy. ‘Course on me this is way too small, but still... this is like butt floss!”

Vegeta almost let loose a snort of laughter at his choice of words but restrained himself at the last second.

“Then again, this satin does feel so smooth and slick and yum-my.” Vegeta heard Goku making various exaggerated grunting and moaning noises as he pretended to thrust up against the fabric.

Goku stopped his moaning and resumed trying to get Vegeta’s attention. “Vegeta, don’t you want to see? Vegeta! Oooh, I feel so fancy and free in my new panties– they even have built in air conditioning in the rear. Vegeta!”

Don’t turn, don’t laugh... He didn’t want to encourage this sort of behavior! But he had to admit he was curious as to how ridiculous Kakarot looked.

“Vege-e-e-taa... Ouji-sama? Turn around and look at me! Geeters...”

With Vegeta as stubborn as he was, this could go on all day. Goku gave up pleading and finally gave Vegeta a harsh pinch to the rear.

He yawped and spun around, veins popping angrily over his forehead. “Kakarot! What the hell was... that... oh, dear god.”

Facing him was his mostly naked mate, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and looking like a delicious feast of saiyan man meat as usual except for one disturbing addition: a tiny pair of pastel pink panties, in satin and touches of lace topped off with a tiny bow in the middle.

Goku’s entire snatch showed, and his ample assets were bunched up under the triangle of fabric and bulging out the sides.

“I don’t know whether to be aroused or ill.”

Goku ignored the comment and struck a pose, his face coy. “Only royalty receive this private showing. Bum, ba-da bum, bada, bum-ba-bum-ba-bum ba bum ba...”

He began to sway his hips from side to side, with each thumping beat of the tune, singing it in the style of a stereotypical old burlesque act. Goku turned and gave Vegeta a full-on view of his bare ass, two perfect globes looking utterly grope-able and bite-able, and swung them forcefully to the beat.

“Ba da ba da bum, bum bum, bada, butt! Butt! Butt!”

He paused his dance for a moment and “flossed” with the strap in the back, running it up and down between his cheeks and making squeaky sound effects, just daring Vegeta to laugh.

Vegeta covered his face with a hand and stifled a guffaw.

Goku turned back to face Vegeta and shimmied to his burlesque tune again, borrowing a few of the good Mr. Hightower’s moves and music.

“Okay, Vegeta, here comes my big finish! I’m too sexy for this thong, too sexy for this thong, thong’s going to leave me...” He reached around and ripped the thong off like a practiced male stripper. However,

“Gaah! That hurts if you don’t do it right!” But he was back at it instantly. He shook back and forth his head, hips, and shoulders, and swung the underwear around in the air high above his head with one hand, singing more loudly and enthusiastically than ever: “BUH BADA BUH BADA BUH BADA BUH BADA– huh?”

He stopped short in bewildered confusion, then looked up to see the panties had caught on a blade of the ceiling fan, now rotating peaceably above them.

Vegeta lost it. He broke out into howls of laughter, shaking and holding his stomach and nearly falling off the couch.

Goku grinned in triumph, thrilled to see Vegeta laugh for the first time since they’d returned from their ordeal in the past.

Unfortunately all their noise had traveled through the otherwise insulated walls and alerted a nurse. She knocked briskly and then barged in. Vegeta clapped both hands over his mouth and shook from the effort of restraining his laughter.

“What in the world is going on in here?” She gasped and blushed at the sight of Goku standing there buck naked. “How did you get in here?!” she hissed at him. “The donor is not allowed any company. This isn’t a love hotel!”

“Aw, come on miss, my friend here can’t do the deed without me. Can’t you overlook the rules this once?” He threw her a dazzling smile.

“I could lose my job!”

“We’ll be quiet, we promise. Nobody has to know you saw me in here. Please, sweetheart?”

The nurse narrowed her eyes and looked him up and down, appraising him. Her jaw clenched and worked as though she was about to say something, but had trouble making up her mind.

“Wait here,” she said firmly, and disappeared. Goku and Vegeta looked at each other, Vegeta still with his hands over his mouth, both wondering if she was going to tattle on them and if Goku should instant transmission away.

Moments later she suddenly reappeared in the doorway, and before either knew what was happening she’d snapped a photo of Goku with a digital camera.

“All right, that’s my payoff. Go about your business.” And she was gone with a slam of the door.

“HEY!” Vegeta roared to life, jumping to his feet and nearly emitting a flaming halo of fury.

Goku pressed into him and ushered him back to sit on the bench, and straddled him, chuckling. “Forget about it, Vegeta. It’s just a picture.”

“What do you mean, ‘just a picture’? If that ends up on the Internet tomorrow, I’ll kill her! No one sees you naked but me!”

“I hate to break it to you, Vegeta, but I couldn’t count the number of people who’ve seen me naked before. Let her have it.” He laid feathery kisses across Vegeta’s brow and cheeks. “We don’t want to make trouble here. It was hard enough finding a place willing to inseminate a lesbian woman with a gay man’s sperm, and an alien one at that.”

“But–”

Goku silenced him with a kiss, plumbing his mouth with his tongue and pressing in tighter, making Vegeta gasp into his mouth as he bucked his hips into Vegeta’s groin.

“She just gave us a free pass to pleasure. Let’s enjoy our forbidden sex suite, shall we?”

Vegeta finally gave him a sheepish half smile. Goku laughed brightly and kissed him on the cheek. “So, what did you think of my manly dance, eh?” he asked, striking a “sexy” pose with his arms and putting on a mock come-hither look.

Vegeta laughed freely now, glancing up at the underwear still circling above their heads. “It was an unequivocal travesty.”

“I happen to think it was a complete success.” Goku winked mischievously. “I got you to laugh, didn’t I?”

“Shameless bastard. How did I ever end up with such a clown for a mate?”

“Mm, you always did have the worst luck, didn’t you? Poor, poor princey. Heh– you had to have found it a little erotic, or this wouldn’t be here,” he said, reaching down to stroke the prince’s bulge with the palm of his hand. Vegeta hissed at the action.

“Fool... that was from you, not the dance. And I much prefer you in men’s underwear or nothing at all.”

“Okay, for future dances I’ll wear blue panties instead of pink. Much more manly.”

“Idiot!” Vegeta laughed, and pulled him into a kiss.

The bonded pair exchanged a bevy of heated kisses, enjoying the taste of each other’s mouths before exploring. Hands ran through dark hair, caressing and massaging, heavy breaths gusting over fine features and fingers gliding across rolling hills of muscle and silken skin, slicking wet trails where sweat had beaded up.

Vegeta removed his shirt so Kakarot could have better access, and Goku raised himself off of him and sat to the side so he could get rid of his pants.

Goku immediately reached for Vegeta’s stiff member as soon as it was freed. He squeezed, and Vegeta arched into him, instinctively deepening their kiss, crushing their mouths together.

“So, how should we do this, my prince?” he said lowly.

“Lay down on the floor, so we have more room,” Vegeta rasped. “On your back.”

“Now how’s that going to work? I doubt the doctors would be willing to vacuum your cum out of my ass,” he chuckled.

“We can always give them your cum to save for later. Wouldn’t you like to be a dairi too?”

Goku laughed. “Why don’t we get this kid conceived before we start thinking about another one? Heh, hey, I just realized– since Chichi’s having your kid, does that mean I get to knock up Bulma?”

“Hah! She’d never stand for it.”

They both had a good laugh at the absurd idea, and shared an enthusiastic kiss through their smiles. After releasing the kiss, Goku wiped his mouth with his first finger and thumb, avoiding Vegeta’s eyes for a moment.

“But, getting back to business,” he said, clearing his throat, “I was thinking of something more like target practice at the fair. Hit the cup and fill it up, win a prize. Something more like this?” He flipped them and pulled Vegeta onto his lap, molding against his back and caressing his front with his hands, laying his chin upon Vegeta’s shoulder.

Despite the playful tone of his suggestion, he knew instantly that this was out of the question. Vegeta stiffened and bristled at once and exuded an aura of resistance.

Goku frowned in annoyance. Vegeta would not be uke, not closed up in this cold and sterile room, in this place that so casually asked him to bare all, mentally and physically, in exchange for his one chance at fatherhood.

Though Goku could understand how he felt, it stung that Vegeta still would not allow him to take control in vulnerable situations.

How long was this to go on? After all they’d been through, didn’t Vegeta trust him? What the hell would it take?

Or did he not think Goku was much of a seme?

Goku narrowed his eyes at this thought. He knew it was all about trust, and Vegeta’s abused past. But if there was even a hint of the latter...

He’d give the prince his way once again today, but he would make sure Vegeta remembered good and well what kind of talents he possessed.

“I guess that can wait,” he said tersely, letting Vegeta move off of him and sliding himself to the floor, kneeling before the sitting Vegeta. Goku rested the side of his face against Vegeta’s knees and purred.

“I’m sorry, Kakarot, I just– I just can’t,” Vegeta said, his face pinched. “It’s just not the right time.”

“It’s okay, Vegeta-sama,” Goku said, raising his head and giving him a simpering smile. “It’s your day, after all. But remember, you’re the only one who’s supposed to be donating here today. So I’m just going to be here for you.” Goku gave him an evil smirk and began massaging Vegeta’s thighs.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t want to– oohh– Ahhhhh!”
Goku swallowed him whole, gripping him with the undulating walls of his throat as he swallowed around his meat, swinging Vegeta’s legs over top of his shoulders so he could have better access. He raked his fingernails up the sensitive insides of Vegeta’s thighs, kneaded the lush, firm muscle of his shapely ass.

Vegeta shrieked his pleasure to the bare white walls, moaning as Kakarot pulled back to roll his tongue over the fat head of his cock, hungrily lapping up the precum like white honey.

“Today,” he said between vigorous slurps, “is for your pleasure. I don’t need anything in return– only you.”

“Ah! Gyahh! Kakarot,” he gasped, “what– you don’t want to– God!– come at all? But–”

“I said, I’m going to be here for you. My pleasure will come from your pleasure. Besides, I’ve given myself a little challenge, and you know how I can be about those,” he said, looking up with a dangerous glint in his eye and saliva around his mouth, teasing the cock tip with his fingers in his mouth’s absence.

“Challenge?” Vegeta looked down in question, his face flushed and beaded with sweat, eyes heavy. He bit his lip, tilted his head back in the thrill as Goku teased more roughly with his hands.

“Yes.” Goku raised himself up even with Vegeta’s face, nose to nose. His hot breath danced over Vegeta, who flinched. “To see how many tasty noises I can wring out of you.” He stopped teasing the head and gripped Vegeta tightly with his whole hand. “To make you black out in ecstasy.”

He gave Vegeta a quick kiss on the lips then ducked back down to resume his work, sucking twice as hard as before, swirling, teasing, running his hands up and down all of Vegeta’s body he could reach.

Vegeta clenched his hands in Goku’s hair, throwing his head back at the gut-wrenching sensations shivering all through his insides, turning his brain to jelly and his skin afire with hypersensitivity. Moans interspersed with moments of choked silence as control over his voice vanished.

He felt his peak approaching, closer, closer, tantalizingly near– yes, ecstasy and relief were but a second and one strong suck away.

But Goku, reading his body and ki like an open book, stalled his motions, withdrew his mouth completely, and blew a playful breath on the glistening pole of incarnadine flesh. He gave Vegeta a little smirk which he knew would infuriate him, then rested his head against Vegeta’s crotch, caressing his cock with his soft cheek, while his hands groped and kneaded Vegeta’s ripe, round buttocks.

Vegeta gritted his teeth in frustration. “Kakarot, what the hell... you stingy bastard.” Goku pressed his cheek against him harder. “Ghnnh! You damn tease. Let me cum, dammit!”

“Now, Vegeta,” he chided, “that would just be too easy. Don’t you remember? Anticipation is the best part.” He finished his statement with a sharp clench of Vegeta’s ass, then lowered his head and returned to his oral ministrations, slower this time, the tip of his tongue running lines up and down Vegeta’s fat pulsing length.

“Just take it easy, and let me help you blow off some steam, Vegeta. I think this is just what you need to help you forget your problems for a while. Just let me pleasure you. Give to you. Make you feel good. No worries, no responsibilities. Just pleasure.”

He flicked his tongue up and down the little triangle of flesh on the underside of Vegeta’s head, and Vegeta choked and gasped, gripping Goku’s hair almost painfully tight.

Goku turned his attention to Vegeta’s balls, sliding his tongue over the crease between them, gliding the flat of it over the taut, full spheres pulled up close to his body and heavy with Vegeta’s personal essence. Goku wrapped his lips around one, sucking delicately, enjoying the hum and pulse of blood as they churned away the juices already seeping in a steady, oozing drip from Vegeta’s shaft.

He switched to the other ball, giving it the same attention he had its brother, and reached up to pull on the erect nubs of Vegeta’s nipples.

Vegeta thrashed and bit his lip until it bled, bucking uncontrollably and hissing out obscenities that sounded like fine music to Goku’s ears.

While Vegeta was occupied, Goku took one hand away and retrieved the bottle of lube, and, with flawless coordination, used his tail to fetch the yellow vibrator left forgotten on the floor behind him. He squirted some lube on his tail and slicked it over the end.

His mouth moved back to Vegeta’s cock, beginning to work it in a steady rhythm up and down, starting out slow and full, but building gradually in intensity. Meanwhile he swept his tail around, reaching up to meet the cleft between those two perfect cheeks.

He let the wet fur tease up and down the cleft, back and forth as he worked Vegeta’s cock. He would have liked to press in and give Vegeta’s prostate a thrill, but since Vegeta was still twitchy about the uke position he decided not to risk it.

He opted instead to lazily swirl the tip of his tail over Vegeta’s entrance, the soft, wet paintbrush of tickling fur giving the effect of a tongue job– better, in fact.

Vegeta growled and thrashed, head and tail slashing through the air, teeth snapping, gasping for breath and holding onto Goku’s hair for dear life, his feet locked at the ankles around his lover’s broad shoulders, pinning him in place. Goku smirked around his mouthful of hot dick. He had Vegeta’s libido going like a runaway freight train– nothing would stop him now.

He sucked harder, sliding the oozing dick in and out of his throat with practiced ease, glorying in the shared feel of his bonded lover building higher, ever higher to the point of no return.

Vegeta was seconds away now. Time for the coup de grâce.

He reached for the vibrating dildo and turned it up to high, the third and final weapon in his sexual arsenal. His mouth pumping over Vegeta’s member, his tail relentlessly assaulting his sensitive entrance, Kakarot pressed the shuddering vibrator hard against the base of Vegeta’s tail.

Vegeta let out a shriek that shook the walls, almost painfully intense ecstasy slamming through him with unprecedented force. Kakarot felt his passion and pulled back completely just as Vegeta let loose an eruption of searing, pearly jism.

Goku arched back and closed his eyes, loving the sensation of that hot life essence splashing against his heaving, chiseled chest, flecks catching him on the face and falling into his open mouth to baptize his tongue with salty dew.

He hadn’t planned on cumming, but he enjoyed his lover’s ecstasy too much, as well as the new sensation of being showered in a fountain of cum. With a strangled sigh, he burst his own load thickly against the side of the bench.

Goku opened his eyes to watch the milky trails of cum roll down the furniture, as well as down his own chest, traveling leisurely over the curves of solid muscle. He gathered up a portion of the cum and rubbed it idly between his fingers, spreading them apart and then watching as the cum formed glistening strands between them.

He kept one eye on Vegeta, who was slumped against the cushioned bench. He really had blacked out. Fantastic.

Goku stuck his fingers in his mouth and watched as Vegeta roused. “Mmm. Royal jelly. Now that’s tasty.”

He knelt in front of Vegeta, sucking on his fingers and staring intently, until Vegeta had gathered enough awareness to remember who and where he was, and look back at Goku.

“Gods, Kakarot,” he breathed out, head still spinning. “Wh... what the hell are you trying to prove?”

“That I’m crazy about you.”

“Oh, well...” Vegeta let out a short, drunken laugh.

Goku reached up and kissed him, looping his arms around Vegeta’s shoulders. Vegeta did the same, and after they released the kiss they stayed there with their foreheads pressed together, grinning at each other.

“Feel better?” Goku asked.

“Immeasurably so. Damn, Kakarot. You have to remember that technique. Heh. So,” he pulled back, cleared his throat, and regained a modicum of his composure. “Did you get the sample?”

Goku blinked. And blinked again. “Oops.”

“Kakarot!” Vegeta snapped. “You idiot!” Vegeta whacked him over the head with the closest thing in reach, which happened to be the rubber dildo. “I was supposed to abstain for two days before giving that sample, and now you’ve fucked it up!”

“Ow, hey! Well, you didn’t tell me that part! Vegeta, take it easy.” Goku grabbed both his wrists, and the dildo wobbled in his grip at the sudden stop in movement. “Come on, don’t worry about it,” he said. “You’ve got sperm to spare. Besides, this is all part of the other half of my personal challenge.”

“And just what is that?”

“To see how many times I can make Vegeta cum in a row.”

“Oh gods... Gah-aahh!”

Goku pounced.

Much later, the nurse finally returned and dared to knock on the door. “Hello? The office is getting ready to close. Are you two all right in there?”

Some rustling and jostling, and the nurse jumped as the door suddenly swung open before her.

“Yup, we’re doing great,” Goku said, chipper as a lark, holding an exhausted and passed out Vegeta over one arm. “Here you go, honey.” He handed her the lidded sample cup, filled to overflowing down the sides with royal man milk.

“So I guess we’re all finished here, huh? The rest is up to Chichi.”

The nurse snapped out of her daze. “Finished? Oh, no. This is just the first sample of many required specimens. The semen is frozen before insemination, and this sample is actually for a test freeze, to make sure the sperm will survive the process. Depending on how long it takes for the insemination attempts to be successful, Mr. Vegeta may need to provide up to 24 samples.”

“Twenty-four?!” Goku exclaimed, then grew sly. “Is that so? Well,” he hefted Vegeta over his shoulder and turned to go, “we’ll be seeing you soon, then.”
He exited, leaving the nurse alone with her thoughts and a cupful of cum.

She shook her head wearily. Good lord, what a day.

The nurse opened the door and entered the room then, only to be greeted by the overwhelming reek of sex and a glaze of cum gracing every surface.

“Oh my god! The janitor’s not going to be happy about this,” she muttered...

Just as a pair of torn pink panties fell down onto her head.

---

A/N: Well, there you have it. I did a bunch of Internet research on donation and insemination procedures so plot could be fairly realistic, but I’m sure there’s still discrepancies, so if you work in one of these clinics and know how it’s really supposed to go, cut me some slack, mm-kay? We’ll just say that they do things differently in the sperm clinics of DBZ world.

Oh, the “I’m too sexy” lyrics are, of course, a parody of the Right Said Fred song, and the nut joke is taken from a quote by Anonymous. :p

---

Goku: Hey, Vegeta! (points to tattoo of oak on his arm) You know what an oak tree is, right?

Vegeta: (wary glare) What?

Goku: A nut that held its ground! Ah-hah-ha!

Vegeta: (punches him all the way into the next fic)

---