Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Neden Game ❯ The Neden Game ( One-Shot )

**Disclaimer: Nope! I don't own DBZ! Nor do I own "The Neden Game"! That belongs to ICP.

TheBoy: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?

SM: Asking questions to which you already know the answer?

Ha'ani: Come on. NO ONE'S gonna wanna read this!

SM: So what? I felt like writing it. Besides... I was really bored, hopped up on caffeine, and listened to WAY too much ICP during the course of the day. So, technically, this is NOT my fault!

Vegeta: You lie woman! You brought this on yourself!

SM: And those who are reading this now brought it on themselves... SO DON'T BLAME ME!!

~~~~~~~~

You sit on your couch in front of the tube, flipping through the channels, coming across some new kind of dating show, named "The Neden Game"

*A brightly lit stage, covered in pinks and other ghastly pastels, along with cheap paper mache hearts surround 4 people. A pretty young woman with blue hair is sitting on the right, hidden behind a huge red heart. Two men, both with black hair, are sitting on the other side, glaring at each other*

Game Show Host: Lets meet contestant number 1. He's a schizophrenic serial killer clown who says women love his sexy smile. Lets find out if his charm will work on Bulma. Bulma, what's your question?

Bulma: Contestant number 1, I believe first impressions last forever. So lets say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my family. Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick

Yamcha: Lets see...hmm well id have to think about it. I might show up in a tux HA! But I doubt it. I'd probably just show up naked like I always do, and look your mama in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU! Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti. I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her GET THE FOOD READY. Your dad would probably start trippin, and get me pissed. I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips! Its dinnertime! We're hearin grace from your mother. I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother. I'm steady starin at your sister, I'll tell ya this, ya know for only 13 SHE GOT SOME BIG TITS! After that, your dad would try to jump again, and only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin. After your mom does the dishes and the silverware, I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear.

*crazy laughter is heard from the audience*

Game Show Host: Now lets meet contestant number 2. He's a psychopathic deranged crack head freak who works for the dark carnival. He says women call him Stretch Nuts. Bulma, lets hear your question...

Bulma: I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions. A man who expresses himself in his own special way. Number 2, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?

Vegeta: First thing, I could never love you. You sound like a witchy bitch, yo FUCK YOU!! But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care by takin all these other mutha fuckas outta here. I'd go through your phone book, and whack em all. Then find contestant number 1 and break his fuckin jaw -

Yamcha: WHAT!?

Vegeta: Anyone who looked at you would have to pay. I'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day. I'd grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist. Let em go and watch em both spring up in your face. I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can. Get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN!! Then we go to tha beach and walk through the sand. I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin. As you spit it all out, I rub your back, and grab your underwear and WEDGE IT UP YOUR ASS CRACK!!

*more crazy hysterical laughter*

Game Show Host: Well it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing with sensitivity Bulma. Its a tough choice so far. Bulma, lets have your last question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your Neden

Bulma: Ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be? Who ever's the smoothest wins!!

Yamcha: Ok first, I'd sliiide up the bar, and tell ya that I cant believe how fuckin fat you are! I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake, and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Ricki Lake.

Vegeta: FUCK THAT!! You'd be jackin me quick. I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick. And then to get your attention in a crowded place, I'd simply walk up and stick my nutz in your face!

Yamcha: Yeah freak her with your nutz, yo, that'll get her.

Vegeta: Tell her that she's fat, YEAH THAT'LL WORK EVEN BETTER!!

Yamcha: Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap shit; you don't want contestant number 2 he's mad whack. I walked in to a barn, and there he was, standin up on a bucket Hooough tryin to fuck it. It was big fuckin smelly ass farm llama.

Vegeta: DAMN DOG! You gonna diss yer mamma?

You turn off the TV, suddenly very disgusted with yourself. You race to the shower and scrub about 10 layers of flesh off, feeling like you'll never, ever be clean again.

~~~~~~~~

SM: *smirking to herself as she turns up her stereo*

TheBoy: God that was so stupid.

Ha'ani: And pointless.

Vegeta: YOU MADE ME SOUND LIKE A WIGGER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?

SM: Nothing's wrong with me. I could have let Yamcha have the last word instead of you. Ungrateful muses... PLEASE REVIEW! well.. you don't HAVE too since this was kinda stupid... but oh well ^_^ do it anyway... just cuz you love me.