Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Original Pranksters ❯ Sidetracked ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, as much as I wished I owned the Bishounen of DBZ especially Mirai Trunks, I make no profit from these writings. Dragonball/Z/GT belongs to Akira Toriyama, Toei Animation, Funimation and others…Nope, not mine.

Special thanks to dbz obsessedfor beta-ing ^_^

Original Pranksters…a mischief makers continuation

Chapter 3…Sidetracked

By: Ember Maxximus

The teenage demi-Saiyan heartthrob duo stalked down the long empty corridors of Capsule Corporation as quietly as they possibly could to the ground level's closed cafeteria and mini shopette, all the while avoiding the surveillance system with pristine caution.

"The plan Goten, don't forget. We need to stick to the plan. Use this key to access the shop, but only take the stuff we talked about. I'll be in the cafeteria getting everything else," Trunks reminded Goten. Speaking quietly, making sure to enunciate each and every syllable, Trunks added, "I know how you are. Don't go in there and chow down on candy," glaring at Goten with icy blue eyes for added effect.

Although Goten's eyes did glaze over for about two seconds at the "C" word, he swiftly regained his composure. "Aye, Aye Captain! 10-4! Hu-Ah!" the younger of the two smartly saluted in mock fashion to his bossy mastermind comrade.

"Wisenheimer," Trunks grumbled under his breath, grabbing Goten's left wrist to confirm that their watches were synchronized. "Good, then we'll meet back here in five minutes." The troublemaking heathens parted in separate directions to complete their assigned tasks.

Trunks snuck into the immense dining facility, heading directly to the back of the room to the kitchen's entrance. Trunks was no stranger to the Capsule Corporation kitchen. He had visited the kitchen on more than one occasion in search of nourishment that was considered a tad more edible that his mother's horrific dishes. His mother- the woman whom at this very moment had no idea that he was rescuing the family company from a demented sabotaging balding fart fuck, the same woman whom gave him this cockamamie harebrained janitorial bullshit cleaning duty, the woman that constantly enlightened him that "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it just as quick" - for that woman he'd do anything to protect her honor. She was his mother and he loved her.

He walked in circles in the huge pantry in search of the necessary supplies. His sky blue eyes roved over the multitude of shelves with every imaginable non-perishable item available in the free world. "Tuna, tuna, where are you," he asked the mass quantities of canned goods. "There you are," he voiced triumphantly, taking several cans of the dolphin friendly generic tuna.

"I'm back," announced Goten as he entered the pantry wearing a big goofy grin plastered to his boyishly handsome face.

" I put the shaving cream into the SuperFreezeFast deep freezer like you said."

"Yosh!" Trunks exclaimed as his master plan began to come to life. "Hey, Goten. Help me find the Tabasco sauce," he

asked while continuing to scan the shelves for the spicy condiment.

"It's right in front of your face," Goten informed him, reaching over Trunks shoulder to grab the red cayenne pepper sauce from the ledge. "And you call me baka."

"Hell, I don't eat the shit!"

"Don't knock it, dude!" Goten fiercely defended his spicy condiment of choice.

"It smells like ass, I refuse!"

"Dude, that's why your mom looks like Miss April," Goten suavely retaliated, reaching into his back pocket and retrieving a

worn copy of this month's current edition of Playboy allowing the centerfold to fall open revealing a voluptuous blue haired beauty, "Hey, forget about it, Miss April has nothing on your Mom."

Trunks cheeks began to flush furiously with almost as much embarrassment as anger. He knew men young and old alike, thought his mother was hot. He had known this little fact nearly all his life. The way Yamcha, Master Roshi, and Oolong would ogle his mother was enough to make him want to inflict bodily damage to the family aquatints. Strangers as well, with his heightened Saiyan hearing, he was privy to lustful comments barely whispered by strangers admiring her Kami given assets. Goten's comments were enough to make him want to hurl burrito chunks all over the shining waxed linoleum, grab him by his Dumbo ears and wipe his smug mug into last night's dinner. Unable to tolerate Goten's licentious taunting aimed at the woman who gave him life, he simply did the first thing that came to his mind. He snatched the nudie magazine and easily incinerated Miss April and all the other lovely ladies appearing in this month's edition.

Goten's face blanched a ghastly snow white, the blood draining from his normally chipper expression leaving the visage of utter and complete devastation. Trunks snickered with a satisfied smirk as Goten fell to his knees sifting through the ashes of his destroyed special double issue masturbatory magazine.

"You suck!" he wailed as he rose to his feet, regaining some semblance of dignity. The pair turned hateful glares upon each other. Piercing ice blue met glistening pools of onyx. The fierce stare down lasted approximately 97 seconds. Neither side wanted to be the first to look away when suddenly Goten wavered a small snicker escaping between his pursed lips. "You can throw a tantrum and blast my book but your Mom is still one sexy babe and your sister is probably going to be ever hotter," and quickly adding for good measure, "Caliente', sizzling hot!"

Trunks lunged at Goten tackling the younger teen imitating a pillaging Viking barbarian on steroids. The pair rolled around the kitchen floor like a pair of WWE women wrestlers competing for the Gold Championship belt on a Sunday night pay per view with Hugh Hefner as the special guest referee.

Trunks was the first to gather his wits as he straddled the bruised younger demi Saiyan's waist pinning his wrists high above his head with one hand. "This is stupid, GO-TEN! Have you forgotten the plan?!?" Goten's expression showed the light had flipped on and he seemed to instantaneously realize that they had indeed been wasting precious time with pointless bickering.

"I suppose you're right," Goten wearingly sighed, conceding his struggle.

Then simultaneously the pair admitted "Sorry," to one other.

"Good! Now let's kick some loser tail!" Trunks exclaimed, happy to finish senseless argument.

"Um, Trunks…" Goten squirmed underneath the fairer demi-Saiyan.

"What?" Trunks asked, lifting his eyebrows wondering what kind a hogwash Goten wanted to discuss now.

"Do you mind getting the hell off me, already…geez. I said your Mom and maybe your sister are hotties, but not you!" Goten instigated his best friend. He just loved to get a rise out him. He took the subject too personally and never ceased to make Goten hoot with uncontained laughter.

The apples of Trunks' angled cheeks blossomed into a soft hue of rose, "Gomen," he mumbled as he released Goten's pinned wrists and ascended from his narrow waist. "Hey, Goten," Trunks began, extending his hand to help Goten from the kitchen floor, "I was saving this surprise for a special occasion, but I suppose I can let you see it…"

Goten's lips curled upwards as his mind raced with happy thoughts of subscriptions to 'Supple Hineys', 'Silicone Puppies', or even real honest to goodness copy of 'Debbie Does West Capitol'. Goten rubbed his hands in anticipation as Trunks reached into the back pocket of his coveralls and removed his wallet. Deliberately turning his back to Goten, he flipped through the wallet's compartments and pulled out a small paper of what appeared to be a photograph.

"I'm sorry about Miss March," Trunks snickered, "And I want to make it up to you." Trunks held the tiny wallet sized picture to his chest. "Now this chick is something else, the pink and purple combat bikini gear really brings out her lips. I bet she could really throw down…if you know what I mean," Trunks winked.

Goten listened intently to every syllable Trunks uttered, closing his eyes to better fantasize about this luscious lipped femme fatale. "Can I see already?" Goten pleaded, eyes wide in hormonal eagerness.

"Okay, I'll share," Trunks handed over the photo reluctantly, he seemed sad to let the prized possession go, but friends share, right?

Goten snatched the picture away from Trunks loose grip, intently taking in the long bare lean legs, violet leather bikini bottoms and bustierre. The woman was aerobically fit, with firm melon shaped breasts, long flowing onyx hair tightly held down by a fierce looking helmet with a deadly blade ornamenting it's top. Goten's eyes traveled up the picture finally stopping to look at the woman's face to see those sweet lips, when the horrid realization came crashing down on him; that this woman was his mother!

Goten screamed like a terrified little girl, dropping the photo as if it were poison. "My eyes, my eyes," he wailed. "How dare you doctor my mother's head on that body," Goten obviously shaken, hysterically waving his finger in Trunks face.

Trunks kept his expression emotionless and bent to pick up the photo, "Nope, that's her. You can keep it, if you like. Take it home with you and ask her. I had a hundred copies printed last week." Goten cringed away from the picture, furiously shaking his head no. "Hey, G-man, I can't tell for sure, but does that look like a thong to you?" Trunks added for evil…or…good measure.

"Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, I get the point. I had no idea this is how you felt. Let's make a pact now, we never talk about each other's moms again, alright."

"Sure Goten, whatever you say," Trunks chuckled, thinking about how the pictures could be used as Christmas or Valentines cards to the male student body at their high school.

"Good," Goten exhaled, falsely assuming Trunks' standoff was sincere.

"Well since we got that out of the way, I have this cool Saiyaman and Lady Saiyaman Hentai doujinshi, you want to see it?" Goten cringed desperately shaking his head no. "I have spent the better part of your puberty listening to how fine you think my Mom is, so this is far from over, GO-TEN. I also have unreleased footage taken from Soviet satellites of your uncle Radditz 'bathing' in a lake in Europe."

"You suck!"

"You've brought it upon yourself!" Trunks was correct, he had every right to taunt him like this. Goten had been doing this to him for quite awhile. In Goten's silence, Trunks changed the subject, "So, you ready to prank to some loser tail?"

Goten smiled, "Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be."

Having made up the two left the cafeteria with, tuna, Tabasco sauce, and frozen shaving cream in hand to do some damage to the dangerous scheming mole, Saul Shiitake.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next Chapter: Trunks and Goten focus on their scheme to bring Saul down, but how do hot sauce, dolphin safe tuna, and shaving cream fit into the plan?

A/N: My deepest apologies for the extreme tardiness of this update. I've recently moved overseas, so between culture shock and getting situated among other things I have been one busy bee. ^_^

Xorwais - I love all music, Korn and the Chili Peppers are good. Hmm, my most recent cd purchases and downloads include the new one from Linkin Park and I burned 1 cd of Bonnie Tyler, and 3 cd's of Initial D (another anime about street racing). My apologies about your train, Lisa Starr and Violet Goddess hold that same power over me, just last week I stayed up until 4am reading Black Devotion…twice ^_^V, thanks for reading.