Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Robo Bunch ❯ Day 1 ( Chapter 1 )

----3:00am, Cell's room.

 

*rrriiinnggg!!!!!!!!!*

-Cell--*Gets up and answers phone* Hello?

*panting noises*

-Cell--The fuck? Who is this?!?

-mysterious voice--Ello Luver!

-Cell--Oh my God!!! FREEZA!!!

-Freeza--How're you today, SEXAH!!!

-Cell--Listen here you little piece of shit, I have a restraining order and I can legally file this as harassment!!!

-Freeza--I love it when you talk dirty....See you soon, sexy! *hangs up*

-Cell--...DON'T YOU DARE COME TO MY HOUSE!!! YOU HEAR ME?!? *hangs up and sighs* I really need to get caller ID.....*goes back to bed*

 

----3:45am #18's room.

 

-Maron--*rushes into the room* MOMMY!! MOMMY!! MOMMY!!

-#18--Unh...What is it, sweetie?

-Maron--There's a strange naked white man outside!

-#18--*Digests the info*.....Oh, God no.....Where?

-Maron--Follow me! *runs off*

-#18--*runs after her*

 

----3:46am, Cell's room

 

-#18 and Maron--*rush in*

-Cell--*wakes up* Unh...what the hell? What's happening?

-Maron--*points to window* Look out the window!

-Cell--*looks out the window...we need not describe further....*

-Freeza--*masturbates*

-Cell--..........GAAAAAHHHH!!!!

-Freeza--I'm gettin' you a drink....Cum on down....

-#18--*covers Maron's eyes*

-Cell--I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU AS SOON AS I BLEACH MY EYES!!!

-#18--Don't bother...*peers out the window* Look you perverted little freak, My daughter doesn't need to see this so unless you get some freaking pants, I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM FUCKING LIMB!!

-Freeza--*giggles and runs into the forest*

-Maron--Mommy, what does that word mean?

-#17--*walks in* I'll tell you what it means...

-#18--*lifts up #17 by the throat* GO BACK TO BED!!! *throws him on the floor*

-#17--*gets up and brushes himself off* Fine, Fine...*walks off*

-Maron--*walks up to Cell and hugs his leg* I'm scared...

-Cell--*sits down and hugs Maron* Me too....Me too....

 

----5:00am

 

*heavy metal music blasts through the house*

----#16 and #17's room

-#17--*snorting cocaine through a $100 bill* Ahhh....This is the life, isn't it, #16? ....#16?

-#16--*passed out with a bong in his hand*

-#17--Whatever... *snorts* Mmmmm......

-Dr.Gero--*Kicks down the door*

-#16--*wakes up in a haze* *incoherently* I wanna rock and roll all night......and party every day.....*passes out*

-Dr.Gero--*trying to yell over the music* TURN THAT THING OFF DAMMIT.....What is that I smell?!?!?!? ARE YOU TWO SMOKING MARIJUANA AGAIN?!?!?

-#16--*vomits*

-#17--Finest weed all the way from Cambodia.....Want a brownie? They're 'special'....

-Dr.Gero--*Slaps #17* What did I tell you about drugs in this house?!?

-#17--Go deep, deep into the woods when your getting high?

-Dr. Gero--Yes...GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!

-#17--Aw alright...*drags #16 out by the legs*

-Dr.Gero--......*Shoots the stereo with a Ki blast*

-Stereo--*dies*

-#19--*walks in with a mop and a bucket* Vomit duty again, Doctor?

-Dr.Gero--*puts his face in his hands and nods*

-#19--I'll get to work. *sigh*

-Dr.Gero--*walks out and takes a voice recorder from his pocket**hits Record* Note to self: Kill #17 and salvage #16 for spare parts...

 

----10:00am, Living room

 

-Krillen--*walks in* Goku? What're you doing here?

-Goku--Chi-Chi and I are not on speaking terms as of now...

*flashback*

-Chi-Chi--What do you mean you tried to eat Goten?!?!?!?!?

-Goku--B-But in that light...he sort of looked like a pig...

-Goten--He almost bit off my earlobe!!

-Goku--But...But...

-Chi-Chi--GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*we now return to our regularly scheduled program*

-Krillen--Ouch... Why didn't you go to Bulma's?

-Goku--I did...

-Krillen--Not another flashback....

*here we go again....*

-Goku--Ding Dong!!! Ding Dong!!! Ding Dong!!! Ding Dong!!! Ding Dong!!!

-Vegeta--*opens the door* Tell me, Kakarot. Why do I let you live?

-Goku--Because I'm cute and fluffy...?

-Vegeta--........*Slams door*

*back to normalness...mostly*

-16 and 17-- *walk in looking particularly stoned*

-16--*sees Goku*.......*stares*

-Goku-- Er....

-16--*stares*....

-Goku--...

-16--Get out...

-Goku--But...But...

-16--*Takes off is forearms and readies for a Hell Flash* Get out.

-Goku--Okay, I'm going, I'm going...

-Cell--*Comes down the stairs* Did I miss something?

-17--You know...I saw this white naked guy carving FREEZA+CELL all over the trees where we were....

-Cell--*runs back to his room*

-16--*passes out*

-Cell--NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

----7:00pm Main Foyer

 

*DING DONG!*

-Dr.Gero--17!!!! Go get the door!!!

-17--Whatever...*gets the door* *looks around* What's this? *picks up a note card and reads it* Pie? *closes the door and walks off, contemplating the meaning of "Pie"*

*DING DONG!*

-17--What now? *opens door* Hm? *Picks up a box and looks inside* Pie?!? *brings the pie to the kitchen*

*DING DONG!*

-17--*getting pissed* What the hell?! *opens door* Now what? *picks up a notecard and reads it* Ugly Cat?!? I AM NOT!!!! *slams door*

*DING DONG!*

-17--*quickly opens door*

-Bill D. Cat-- AAAkkkkPPHHhhh!!

-17--.......Riiiiiiight......*slams door*

*DING DONG*

-17--*almost tears the door open* WHAT IS I-huh? *picks up a card* Ugly naked white man? ...... *closes door*

-Cell--*walks down the stairs* Time for my walk...

*DING DONG!*

-Cell--*Goes to open door*

-17--NOOOOO!!!! DON'T OPEN THAT!!!!

-Cell--*opens door*

-Freeza-- Hiiiiiiiiii.....

-Cell--GAAAAAHHHH!!!! *runs out the back door*

-18 and Maron-*Come down the stairs*

-Maron--Eeeep!! MOMMY! IT'S THAT SCARY MAN AGAIN!!!

-18--Sonuvva.....FREEZA WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU THIS MORNING?!?!?!?!?!?!?

-Freeza--Uh-oh......

-18--*Throws Freeza over the horizon....then goes to wash her hands*

-17--*goes to the back door* The coast is clear now, Cell.....*goes to his room to contemplate more on the meaning of "Pie"*

-16--MMMM! Munchies!! *eats pie* Mmmm....Blueberry.... *falls over* Special Blueberry! *passes out*