Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Screwed Up Dragonball Series ❯ 3 ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A/N: Please someone, read this and review! I doubt ppl will read though, seeing as I haven't wrote in like half a year... So this'll be really random, but please answer any questions I eventually get in.

Disclaimer: does it seem like I own anything? Cause I do... just nothing on this site.

The Dragonball series *when Goku is young*

Once upon a time, there was this freakish boy, and I can prove he's a freak, he had a tail. And besides that his friends were a bald midgit, a three eyed creature who could regenerate limbs, a old dude, a doll/clown/mime thing, and a guy who used to be scared of women. And if you need more prove that he's a fre...

Goku: Ehem, yeah okay I think they get the point. And besides, that doesn't really make me a freak, it just means I have freakish friends.

Krillin: Hey, I'm not a freak either. I'm not that short, and I eventually grow hair.

Goku: Okay okay, but the other people are freaks.

Yamcha: What?! I'm not scared of women any more, so I'm perfectly normal!

Krillin: No, I think you're still a freak.

Yamcha: Shut up, baldy.

Goku: Nah, I think Krillin's right, you're a freak.

Chibigokan(author): Yeah, and seeing as this is supposed to be the beginning of the Dragonball series, you are actually still scared of women. And I kinda have to get on with the story so I can get answers... so everyone, go away! *smoke suddenly appears around Goku, Krillin, and Ymacha, and when it clears, they're still there*

Krillin: *sweatdrops* Uhh, okay, what was that about?

Goku: I don't know, but isn't cool how smoky it is? Hmm, I wonder if it tastes good?

Chibigokan: Now I remember why you're a freak, you eat too much and you're like stupid or something.

Goku: *is eating the smoke* No I'm not, I'm just simple-minded, and when I get older I'm real smart.

Krillin: Not really, but you seem to know great fighting techniques.

Goku: And that's what makes me so smart.

Yamcha: That doesn't really make sense.

Goku: Shut up, you girl-hater.

Yamcha: At least I know what a girl is.

Goku: So do I!

Krillin: Umm, actually, you don't cause Dragonball never started yet.

Goku: Oh okay then lets get it started!

Chibigokan: Thank you.

Goku: Or maybe, we'll just stay here forever.

Chibigokan: Ahhh! Hmm, if you stay here, you'll only get three meals a day.

Goku: WHAT?!! AHHHHH! *runs away screming*

Chibigokan: Finally, I can start. *sees Krillin and Yamcha is still there* Do'h! I mean, get the hell out of here!

Krillin: Okay. *walks away and Yamcha follows*

Chibigokan: That was suspiciously easy... *blinks uncertainly and when her eyes open all the other cast of Dragonball/z/gt is there* Damn...ahh screw it, let's just start the story.

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So anyway, once upon a time there was this boy who had a tail, and he was walking along somewhere when he met up with a girl with greenish-colored hair.

Goku: Hey Bulma, how ya doing?

Bulma: Umm, Goku, you don't know me yet.

Goku: No I do, or how else would I know you're name, and you know mine? And didn't we just have breakfast with Krillin a little while ago?

Bulma: Well pretend you don't, okay? Ask me questions like you don't know me.

Goku: Umm okay, is that green color you're real hair color?

Bulma: No, it's purple, or something, I think...

Goku: Oh really? Because I think I only seen you with purple hair two or three times, and that was in the Dragonball movie, and in the super nintendo Dragonball game Super Butouden. But then I guess it makes sense cause Trunks has purple hair...

Bulma: Exactly, so come lets go look for the dragonballs.

Goku: But then what about Bra, your daughter? Does that mean she dyed her hair green or something?

Bulma: I don't know, ask the readers. What is my real hair color? How can my son have purple hair but my daughter have green hair? Okay now that I asked my question, let's continue on our way.

So Goku and Bulma walk and walk-well actually they ride on her bike things or whatever, and then Goku gets the kintoun, and eventually they have to use a boat across the water...Okay, so I think I'll just say they travel for a long time, when they meet up with Oolong the changing pig.

Oolong: Hey you guys, what do you want to do today?

Bulma: Ehem, we don't know you yet Oolong.

Goku: Yeah we do, we were just talkin...

Bulma: *cuts Goku off* No, we dont' know him, okay?

Oolong: *whispering to Goku* She's gone crazy.

Goku: Yeah I know, she thinks we're in a show or something and we have to act like we first met, so just play along.

And so Oolong does whatever he did on the television show, and they go one their way to get the other dragonballs.

Goku: You know, Oolong, I always wondered what happened to you doing the Dragonball Z series. And Puar; you guys just seem to appear every so often. And I always wondered about Chaotzu too, I don't remember him in the Buu saga.

Oolong: Yeah, it's strange. And I always wondered how exactly I became a walking pig who could changed into things. And am I the only pig like me?

Goku: Hmm what else did I want to know? Oh yeah, what is Launch, or Lunch, or that girl's name is who changes from the sweet blue haired girl into the evil blonde haired one?

Krillin: Yeah, but you know what's more of a mystery? Where did she keep getting all her guns and bullets? And how come even when we were like shot through the head with it, we never died?

Goku: Yeah, we should ask the readers. Hmm, but how'd you get here anyway? We're like on a boat in the middle of no where?

Krillin: I don't know. Well bye then. *disappears*

Bulma: Oh look, we're suddenly in a desert place, and we met Chichi and here father already, and uh, we beat up the rabbit who turned me into a carrot, and everything that's supposed to happen and now we see Yamcha.

Goku: Okay, now we know she really gone crazy; talking about things that we really didn't do.

Bulma: We you guys do it, and I'm going only a few days ahead, you guys a going years ahead and talking about people you don't know yet.

Oolong: Yeah she's crazy alright.

Anyway, Yamcha and Puar suddenly are there and Yamcha is all blushing cause he's afraid of Bulma. Hmm, this part is boring, so lets skip ahead to after Goku and everyone escapes from Pilaf and Goku went Oozaru and Puar had to cut off his tail and Bulma and Yamcha fall in love with each other.

Yamcha: Oh Bulma, you have cured me of my fear, and I love you.

Bulma: Well I hate you! I wonder why I could ever like you. Vegeta is much better.

Goku: See now look who's going into the future, again!

It is suddenly when uhh, like when Bulma has Trunks, and everyone is the correct age, and Goku's not dead yet.

Bulma: Haha, technically I'm not since we're in that time period with Vegeta. Anyway, as I was saying, what the hell is the point of Yamcha? What has he ever accomplished in his life?

Gohan: Hmm, well I barely seen him in the Dragonball Z series, and the first time I did, I remember he was killed, very easily in fact.

Yamcha: Hey! What about all the other times I fought and won things and stuff?

Gohan: Hmm, nope can't think of a thing. You didn't even fight against Cell. (is that right? I haven't seen the Android or Cell sagas.)

Yamcha: Yeah, but what about everything I did in the Dragonball series?

Krillin: Hmm, all I really remember is you getting your leg broken in the tournament.

Goku: Oh yeah I remember that! That was funny! Oh but I remember something else about Yamcha from Dragonball, he didn't have any scars at the beginning. Does anyone know how he got the scars on his face?

Vegeta: Nope, but why the hell is he here? I see no point of his existance, except to be killed. Here, I'll even help you die. *fires a beam and kills Yamcha*

Bulma: Thank you. Now lets go one with complaining about him. He never really helped at all in the series, he had so many hair styles-

Krillin: Well, so did you, and Gohan, and Trunks...though he had an excuse because there was two of him.

Bulma: Be quiet. Now anyway, Yamcha never got married, he got so weak...can anyone find anything good about him?

Gohan: Oh I have one! In the ninth movie when I defeated Bojack, he was trying to get into the fighting tournament but he was disqualified and fell in the water. I always wondered why he didn't fly before he hit the water.

Bulma: You know, I did ask for something good, but if you're still complaining, I guess I will too. I doubt he had any fans, but if he has, I would like to hear from them. Almost everything I read with Yamcha in it has him acting gay or stupid.

Vegeta: Nah, he doesn't have any fans, and I want to see someone prove me wrong.

Oolong: This is getting boring, mostly cause I don't get to talk, lets go back to the past.

The cast of Dragonball goes back in time to the place when Goku has to fight Muten Roshi when he changed his name to hide his identity.

Bulma: *on the side cheering Goku on but sees Yamcha beside her alive* Damn, you're supposed to be dead. Didn't you hear how their's no point in your existance?

Yamcha: Oh well, it's not like YOU could do anything about it. *Bulma suddenly has a knife and begins stabbing him* Hmm, I suppose I asked for that... *dies, again*

So now on with the story. Goku is fighting Muten Roshi and he's losing but suddenly he turns into Oozaru and he starts trashing the place until Muten Roshi destroys the moon.

Oolong: Well, I didn't expect that to happen.

Puar: Nope, not at all. *everything is quiet* This is awkward...so do you want to go destroy some towns or something?

Oolong: Yeah sure, I haven't really transformed much, and I have nothing better to do. *they leave*

Bulma: That was strange...oh well.

Umm, and then everything else in the Dragonball series happens, and its the Dragonball Z series and now the setting is in the forest where chibi Gohan is sleeping. Then he has to pee or something and he sees the full moon, and goes Oozaru.

Piccolo: Noo! The horror! Need to find my hole and hid in it!

Mirai Trunks: *is randomly there* What the hell are you talking about?! Just destroy the moon, dumbass!

Piccolo: Oh yeah... Hey wait, wasn't the moon destroyed before?

Mirai Trunks: Hmm yeah you're right! I wonder how it reappeared. Oh well just destroy it.

Piccolo does so and it messes with the earth, with the tides and all, and somehow by doing that, it caused all the people of earth to go crazy, and they end up having a world war that leaves everyone dead. Piccolo and Mirai Trunks and everyone else is at the check out point or whatever in heaven.

Piccolo: Yeah real smart Trunks.

Mirai Trunks: Well how was I supposed to know that would cause everyone on earth to go crazy?

Gohan: Hmm, I was thinking...you know how we're like the strongest people on earth? How did we end up dying? Who could have killed us exactly?

Krillin: We I have a friend who's into world wars, and he was taping everything, so all we got to do is watch the tape.

Everyone gathers around a mysteriously convenient television and watches the tape. They find out that they were killing each other.

Bulma: That still doesn't make sense, who would we want to kill each other?

Krillin: Well I kind of wanted to see Goku.

Tenshinhan: Me too.

Chaotsu: Yeah me too so I killed Tenshinhan and he did the same for me.

Gohan: I missed Daddy.

Mirai Trunks: I needed to talk with Goku.

Piccolo: I wanted to see him again so I could finally kill him, but now I see this tiny flaw in my plan...

Yamcha: Well I was just a coward and didn't want to fight the Saiyajins who were coming to earth.

Vegeta: And I was trying to escape from Frieza's control.

Mirai Trunks: Umm, Dad, you weren't on earth yet...

Vegeta: You, shut up! No one tells me what to do, or what happens to me, or whatever you were trying to command me of.

Gohan: Well actually, he never will told you to do anything. And didn't you say you died so you wouldn't be controled by Frieza?

Vegeta: Hey, shut u...wait, you're Kakkorot's son aren't you? Damn, if I do anything to hurt him, I fear Goku will go Super Saiyajin and kill me...so I'll be nice, and ignore him.

Goku: What? You're ignoring my son? I'll kill you! *creates a large beam of energy*

Vegeta: What?! No I wasn't see? *pets Gohan on his head like a dog*

Goku: That's worse! *releases his beam*

Vegeta: Ahhhh! *runs around in fear but sees Goku laughing and stops* Wait, you can't kill me, I'm a dead so I don't have to worry about your beam. *is hit by the beam and is in pain* Hmm, it seems you still feel pain when you die. *and then somehow drops dead for a second time*

Yamcha: Hahahaha! *everyone stares at him, and because there is no point of him being alive, even when he is dead, they also kill him again* Damn....don't I have any fans....

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And so ends my story on Vegeta's fear of Goku, and the hate that everyone has for Yamcha. Extremely random, especially the end part.

Gohan: Umm, hmm, I always thought it was a story asking questions on the Dragonball series.

Chibigokan: Oh, right, that. Okay then, why don't you ask the readers?

Gohan: Okay. Readers, can you please answer these questions?

1.) What is Bulma's real hair color? And how can her children have purple and green hair?

2.) What ever happens to Oolong, Puar, Chaotsu, and Launch/Lunch during the dragonball Z series?

3.) How come Launch/Lunch can shot bullets through the heads of Krillin and Goku, but they don't die?

4.) What is the point of Yamcha? Does he have any fans, cause I don't really remember reading a story with good things about him in it. And why do so much ppl hate him?

5.) Umm, how does the moon appear again in DBZ when it was destroyed in DB?

6.) How did Yamucha get his scars, and Tenshinhan?
Okay, so please R&R and answer my questions.