Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Trippin' ❯ One-Shot

Trippin

Earth, a wonderful rotating sphere filled with life. Earth is known for it's many wonders, one of which includes the Grand Canyon. And inside the Grand Canyon, two men were sparring. But these weren't your ordinary men, folks. They were saiyans! One of the fighters, named Vegeta, suffered from constant PMS. The other, named Goku, suffered from eternal idiocy.

Anyway, the two were sparring, when suddenly everyone's favorite namek, Piccolo, flew over. Piccolo is one who is known for rivaling Vegeta on the crankiness factor. But, unlike the cocky prince, Piccolo had a legit reason for being cranky. How would you feel if you could not perform extracurricular activities? I rest my case.

Now that the identifications are over with, I'll get to the story. Goku and Vegeta were sparring for quite a while before Goku finally noticed Piccolo.

"Hey Piccolo!" Goku said cheerfully as he waved his hand. Vegeta stopped in mid punch.

"What the hell are you doing here, Namek? Damn it all, I'm trying to kill Kakerot here!" Vegeta snarled.

"Wassup.." Piccolo slurred. He was actually smiling! Hell must have frozen over.

"Piccolo? Are you ok?" Goku asked stupidly.

"I'm %^&*ing stoned, man.." Piccolo said. The two saiyan warriors tilted their heads.

"What?"

"Ya guys gotta try dis!" Piccolo said as he held a group of strange items in his green hand.

"What is it?" Goku questioned, eyeing the objects.

"The dealer said dis wasa mixture of LSD and crack.." Piccolo murmured.

"I refuse to put foreign objects in my body!" Vegeta roared.

"Whaddaya? Scared?" Piccolo taunted as Goku picked up some of the drugs and stuffed them into his mouth.

"The Great Saiyan Prince fears nothing!" Vegeta cried as he snatched a handful of the drugs and crammed them into his mouth..

Meanwhile, the infamous malevolent Frieza was wished back from the dead by the use of the dragon balls. The sex-less alien looked around, utterly bewildered that anyone would want to wish him back. He (Or is it she?) noticed that he was in someone's backyard, and in front of him stood a snot-nosed little girl.

"Moooooom!" The little girl whined. "IwishedforDivorceBarbiewhichcame withKen's carKen'shouseKen'skitchensetwhichcomeswithrefridgeratorstoveandfreezerandal lIgetisthiswierd maninmybackyard!!"

The Eternal Dragon, who was still floating there, shrugged his great shoulders. "The only word I could make out from that entire sentence was 'Freezer', and since I figured that no one would be stupid enough to waste their wish on a freezer, I assumed she meant 'Frieza'."

A sweat drop formed over Frieze's head. "O....k....well, uh, anyway...now that I'm back, I will make this whole planet suffer!" Frieza turned his eyes to the little brat, "and as a token of my appreciation, I'll start with you.."

"MOOOOM!" The girl cried. "THISSTRANGEMANISTRYINGTOKILLME!"

Annoyed, Frieza shot a beam from his hand and cleanly decapitated the girl. Frieza turned to fly away when suddenly...

"MOOOM!!" the girl's head screamed. "Thiswierdmandecapitatedme!"

A HUGE sweat drop formed over the heads of Frieza and the Eternal dragon...

One hour later..

Frieza flew high into the air. He then used his newfound sense to feel Vegeta and Goku's ki. When he pinpointed their location, the intergender monster flew to them, prepared to fight to the death. He was prepared for anything, or so he thought. But he wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted his arrival. Vegeta and Goku, the two last purebred saiyans, were running around in circles with their arms out in front of them (ala Freakazoid). And if that wasn't enough, the namek was standing in front of a tree and talking to inanimate objects.

"What the hell?" Frieza exclaimed, bewildered.

"I love my pony.." Piccolo said as he pat the air. "It's so pretty.."

"Y..You're trying to confuse me so you can mount a sneak attack! ..yeah, that's what it must be! But it won't work!" Frieza yelled. "Now kneel before me and beg for mercy!"

Vegeta and Goku ran over to Frieza and started running circles around him/her/it.

"Whoosh!" Vegeta cheered. "I can fly!"

"My pony loves me.." The stoned namek insisted.

"What the bloody heck are you doing?" Frieza roared as the two saiyans mindlessly ran circles around him. Suddenly, Vegeta stopped, almost causing Goku to crash into him. Alien and Saiyan Prince locked eyes for a moment. "Finally you've come to your senses! Now beg me for my forgiveness and I may make your death less painful.."

"Hey, baby.." Vegeta purred as he looked over Frieza. The aforementioned alien's eyes grew wide. "Do you think I'm sexy, baby?"

"My pony's name is Fat Ass," Piccolo slurred. "I love my Fat Ass. Isn't my Fat Ass beautiful?"

Piccolo talking like an idiot, Goku looking like an idiot, and Vegeta blowing kisses at him sent shivers of fear and horror down Frieza's spine.

"I love to stroke my Fat Ass," Piccolo said as he pat the air affectionately.

"What the hell are you people on?" Frieza cried.

"Crack and LSD, actually.." Goku said matter-of-factly. He walked over and put an arm around Frieza's shoulders. "Try some!" Goku offered.

"Well...if you can't beat em', join em'," Frieza figured as he took the drugs from Goku's hand...

The next day..

Vegeta opened his eyes slowly. The first thing he saw was a super-pissed Bulma glaring down at him.

"What happened...?" Vegeta asked warily as he sat up. He looked around and saw that he was lying on the couch. He also noticed that Goku was lying in another couch nearby, still unconscious, with a super-pissed Chichi glowering at her sleeping husband.

"You were stoned off your ass! That's what happened!" Bulma snapped.

"I don't remember anything after taking that strange substance before..." Vegeta whined.

"First off, you ran around like an idiot. Secondly, you hit on FRIEZA! Next, you winners got Frieza high off his ass and you three and Piccolo went to a gay bar and sang 'Oops, I Did It Again'!" Bulma shrieked. "And finally, if that wasn't enough, you four went into my backyard and had a big orgy!"

"WHAT!? You mean me, Kakerot, Piccolo and Frieza!?" Vegeta cried in horror.

"And towards the end, Daddy's cat joined in!" Bulma screeched.

"Oh no! I've completely ruined my reputation, and I screwed Kakerot!" Vegeta wailed. "I've got to change this! The saiyan prince flew out and in a matter of days collected all 7 dragon balls.

"Eternal Dragon, grant me my wish!" Vegeta commanded.

The seven balls glowed, black clouds gathered, then a really long dragon popped out.

"What the hell do you want?" The Eternal Dragon snapped.

"I want this horrible event to never had happened. I wish to go back one day in time!" Vegeta demanded.

"Your wish has been granted..."

Earth, a wonderful rotating sphere filled with life. Earth is known for it's many wonders, one of which includes the Grand Canyon. And inside the Grand Canyon, two men were sparring....

Fin