Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Turniquet ❯ Seppuku ( Chapter 1 )

Anime_angel123: Just some pointless angst here.

Murasaki: Full of suicidal thoughts and stuff.

Anime_angel123: Enjoy the twisted plot bunnies in my head! This fic/chapter isn't for people who don't like to read about suicidal thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from any anime. Only the lucky Japanese people who know how to draw and created them own them. *tear*

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category: song fic/ "Tourniquet" from Evanesence

series: Dragonball GT

summary: Pan is in a depression because Trunks has married (someone that's not her, but she doesn't know that Trunks divorced), she is frowned upon in her family because her grades have slipped, she's not a perfect little girl and because she's not as good a fighter as her dad is. Over a few weeks she has become gothic like and hates life.

~I tried to kill the pain

but only brought more~

I one again dreamed of Tunks' wedding. I was in tears by the time I made it to the bathroom. The thought of him marrying Marron killed me. I walked out of the bathroom and went to the bar and drank a few beers just to later have Marron walk up to me.

"Hi, Pan." She was smiling brightly.

"Hello, Marron." I coolly stated.

Marron looked around to see if anyone was watching and her cheerful smile turned into an evil sneer. "I've won Pan. You'll never get what you want."

I glared at her before walking away from the bar in search of a Taxi to take me home.

~i lay dying

and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal~

I wake up from my dream just to remember it's Sunday, no school. My cell phone rings, but I don't bother to pick it up. After it stops ringing for a few minutes, I pick it and listen to my voice mail. Though I see no point to it.

I roll my eyes as I hear the voice of my cell. "Two new messages. Message one," I frowned as I heard Trunks' voice.

"Hey Pan, you never pick up-" I pressed 7 and erased the message before I could hear what he had to say.

I hear the voice again. "Message two." I froze and my blood went cold and boiled at the same time when I heard Marron's voice.

"Hey, Panny, it's Marron. Why don't you ever hang out anymore? You don't return any of my calls! Anyway, I'll try again later." I felt like throwing the phone across the room.

How DARE she call me when she knows she is the reason I pretend that I am dead! I lay back on my bed, practically crying my soul out of my body. I hear footsteps and assume it's my father, coming to talk to me.

~am i too lost to be saved

am i too lost?~

I put on a serious mask as my dad barges into my room, a beer in his hand. Ever since mother died, it has been rare to see him without a beer bottle or and kind of alcohol in his hand.

"Good, now that you up, get to studying!" He bellowed as he smacked me across the face. I ignore the familiar sting on my right cheek and assume it's bleeding like it always does when he smacks me.

"Get to work! You're pulling those grades up or else I'll send you to a boarding school on Namek!" My now poor excuse for a father pulled my hair and threw me at my desk. I crashed the right side of my rib cage on my desk chair, hearing cracking noises, but I choose to ignore them.

~my God my tourniquet

return to me salvation

my God my tourniquet

return to me salvation~

My dad leaves my room and I pull up a chair and stare at my desk. My gaze wanders to the picture of me and my best friend Bra, and former best friend Marron.

I find it strange. When I used to look at the picture, it always made me feel happy, but now, I don't feel anything. I take out the picture and tear off the section with Marron imprinted on it and burned it.

I don't know why, but ever since the night Trunks and Marron got married, I have never felt happy, sad, mad or anything. I just felt empty, I still do. I don't know why. Maybe it's out of anger for myself that I didn't tell Trunks I loved him sooner. No, it's because of Marron.

She was the one who always got into trouble and blamed it on me. She was the one who stole all of my money whenever she was in my room. She doesn't even like him! She seduced Trunks into marrying her because she can't stand seeing me have something she doesn't. She is the reason my heart is now ice and stone.

~do you remember me

lost for so long~

I sit down in my desk chair and allow memories to wash over my mind. I remember feeling left out from the Z squad because I was the only female Saiyan in it. Bra didn't like the thought of fighting bad guys, so I was stuck in a team of strong mean who always thought I would break at any given time. I hated it.

However, Trunks actually made me feel like I was equal to him. Over time we grew to know each other very well and I fell in love with him. I don't think he ever found out. My only mistake was telling Marron. She knew something I didn't, because the next day when I went to train with Trunks, I found Marron kissing him! I felt betrayed and after that, lost with no friends.

~will you be on the other side

or will you forget me~

After that, it was like I never met Trunks. He was never there to spar, never there to talk to. He was gone.In school, I began to run into problems in every subject. I received my progress card to see straight D's on it.

I never showed it to my parents, I kept it in my backpack. Soon after, my mother was killed in a car accident. Then my father began to drink uncontrollably. When he is drunk, it's a terrible sight. His Saiyan might makes you wonder if he'll try to kill you with his strength.

He always went through my things. Soon, he found my progress card and when he saw the grades on it, he beat me. The wounds he caused were so bad, I had to lie in bed for days before my Saiyan blood healed my wounds (aa123: work w/ me here!!).

It was then when I started to cut myself. I lift one of my sleeves and see dozens of scars due to the kitchen knives I used. I try to stifle the tears that are threatening my eyes.

~ i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming

am i too lost to be saved

am i too lost?~

I open my locked desk drawer with a key I made and stare at the seppuku dagger I keep in there. I lift it from my resting place and unsheathe it. Seppuku…

The word runs through my mind as I think.

There is nothing in this world for my any more.

~ my wounds cry for the grave

my soul cries for deliverance

will i be denied Christ~

I won't go to heaven, I know that much. If I choose to leave this Earth now, I know I'll go to hell. Hey, I'll see Freeza and my great uncle Raditz and learn a few things. No one will bring me back with the dragon balls. I peek over to my locked closet and remember the three weeks it took me to gather them.

Yes, I will go to hell for this.

~tourniquet…

my suicide~

My thoughts slip to death as I raise the dagger. I hear voices down below, but I don't listen to them. I allow final tears to form in my eyes and thrust the dagger into my stomach.

I fall to the floor in welcomed pain. I close my eyes and allow darkness to claim me…In my mind, I can hear my bedroom door open.

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anime_angel123: Eh, I had a second part to this, but I don't know if anyone wants me to write it…

Murasaki: Eh, we can wait.

Anime_angel123: Yeah, I don't think this fic's going to do good, so I'll wait for reviewers to tell me. Ja Ne!