Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Vegeta's Christmas Carol ❯ The Merry Glutton ( Chapter 4 )

Vegeta's Christmas Carol

by Orchideater

Rated: R

Warnings: Humor yaoi, Gk/V, Christmas cheer, grinchiness, OOCness, nudity, innuendo, a bit of Vegeta torture (the fun kind, not the bdsm kind), and bizarre underwear.

Disclaimer: DBZ and all DBZ characters property of Akira Toriyama and official licensees

Chapter 4 warnings: nude bathing scene!

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Chapter 4: The Merry Glutton

Vegeta slowly returned to consciousness, while somewhere far in the distance an unseen clock struck two.

He opened his eyes, and as the surroundings came into focus he realized that he was in a great banquet hall, full of rich woods and ornate carvings. Tiers of tables piled high with every conceivable food formed great mountains of culinary delights.

To the left of him sat succulent turkeys and hams, dripping with flavorful juices, tart apple and cranberry dishes, creamy vegetable casseroles, and flaky pies with the kind of perfect crust that melts on the tongue. To his right awaited piles of rice balls and bowls of hot noodles, trays of perfectly prepared sushi, steaming soups and mushrooms and seafood, skewers of chicken dipped in yakitori sauce. Shining goblets of fine wine, rum, and sake were interspersed freely among the dishes.

Wow. Now this was his kind of dream.

Heedless of the fact that it had just eaten a big meal, Vegeta's saiyan stomach let out a noisome growl. He punched it in annoyance, but continued to stare in wonder at the almost magically appealing foods. As he took the first step toward one of the tables, planning to sample some of the treats, a thunderous voice called out to him.

"Good tidings, Vegeta, good tidings! Wondering if you could eat some of these tasty dishes, eh?"

Vegeta jumped and saw a great giant, almost as tall as the room itself, leaning against a wall that had been empty only moments ago. He was decidedly thick in body, with a stout, bulging belly, a mane of shaggy hair, and beady black eyes that glimmered drunkenly out from his pudgy, red-cheeked face. He gave a sloopy grin and raised his golden goblet in welcome, sloshing wine over the side. Vegeta had to hop backward to avoid getting drenched.

"Cheers, prince! I am the ghost of life's pleasures and feasts. Ready for your next lesson?"

Vegeta said nothing, only scrutinized the huge ghost and tried to put his finger on where he'd seen the man before. He looked so familiar, like someone he'd met ages ago, and maybe glimpsed once or twice since.

"Whatsa matter, buddy? Cat got your tongue?"

Cat... white talking cat... sensu beans... "Gah! I know who you are! You're that fat fool Yajirobe!"

"That's me! How's it hangin', pal?"

"If you're asking how I am, I have to say I've had better nights. And don't you dare try to make friendly; I'll never forgive you for how you disgraced me."

"Disgraced?"

"You cut off my tail, you asshole! It never grew back!"

"Oh, that," he drawled, far too drunk to be properly afraid. "C'mon, Veg, I had to do it. You were pretty out-of-control back then, ready to kill us and blow up the earth and all. Can't we let bygones be bygones?"

"No, we cannot!" Vegeta snarled, preparing a ki ball to throw. "You cut off my flag, my badge of saiyan pride, and that I cannot forgive, ever."

"Geez, man, if the tail means that much to you how come you don't just go to Dende and have him bring it back?"

Vegeta's eyes shot open and he froze in place. "Dende... could he actually do that?"

"Sure, man. He's a healer isn't he?"

"No, it wouldn't work out. That kid hates my guts."

"Well, ya did kinda slaughter his whole village and then laugh about it. But he doesn't hold grudges now that he's become kami- he even rooted for you when you fought Buu. Take Goku with you for insurance and I'm sure he'd do it."

Vegeta mulled this over. "Well... that is a good idea. Okay, maybe I don't hate you quite as much as I did."

"Don't hate me at all, pal! That's all in the past, and I've got something great to show you. You see all these fantastic dishes?" he asked, gesturing with his arm.

"Of course. How could I miss them?"

"They are the fruits of the spirit: they represent all good things in life, all of life's pleasures and fulfillments. You could use a few of these, Vegeta. You've been starving yourself for too long."

"Pleasures, huh?" Vegeta scoffed. "I need very little in this life. Too many indulgences leave a person spoiled and weak."

"There's a big difference between being spoiled and enjoying life, prince," the ghost chided, shaking a fat finger at him. "A little happiness will do you good, and do wonders for that charming personality of yours."

"I ought to thrash you."

"And you outta know by now that you can't do anything to us ghosts. Now come on, Veggie!" The ghost hopped to his feet with a thud that made the entire room shudder. He grabbed Vegeta by the back of his shirt and hoisted him into the air so they were eye to eye. The wine fumes on his breath almost made Vegeta swoon.

"I promise you, you'll enjoy this lesson."

"I'm NOT hungry. I never want for food at Capsule Corp."

"Food? No, you misunderstand. That feast there is my idea of life's pleasures. Yours are, well... you'll see in a moment. I'm going to show you another scene that happened last week."

He lifted the roof of the building up as though it were hinged, and jumped out into the sky.

Vegeta felt that strange sensation of being pulled and stretched like silly putty, and when he could see again he noticed they had emerged in the middle of a shadowy wood at sunset. Yajirobe shrank down to a more human size to avoid the trees.

"Great, the middle of nowhere," Vegeta complained, after observing the woods for a time. "What am I supposed to be looking at, here?"

"You're supposed to be looking at that." He pointed to a spot on the bank directly behind the prince.

Vegeta nearly fell over in shock. How long had Kakarot been standing there, not even five feet away?

"Don't worry, he still can't see you. Hmmm, I wonder what he could be doing here on the bank of a river?"

Goku took a moment to stare pensively out over the water, then reached down and untucked the shirts at his waist.

Vegeta turned crimson instantly. "No. Oh-no, don't tell me... No I can't deal with this, tell me he's just getting ready to sit there and fish!"

"Sit back and enjoy the show, my man."

The wild saiyan plucked at his orange V-neck to separate it from the navy undershirt, and pulled it off with one hand.

Yajirobe nudged his flustered student. "This is called 'building anticipation,' isn't it, Veggie?"

"Shut up!" A bead of sweat rolled down his temple.

Goku crossed his arms, grasped the bottom of his navy shirt with both hands, and pulled it off over his head in one smooth motion. The muscles of a rock hard chest rippled like water.

No, Kakarot! Stop it, stop it, stop it! Don't do this to me, don't make me admit...

Off went the shoes, powerful arms flexing and unflexing as he untied the laces. The sash at his waist fluttered to the ground next, and then his gaze fell on the drawstring of his pants.

"Please stop right there, Kakarot," Vegeta whispered, twitching. His mouth had gone completely dry. "I- I-"

With a pu-u-u-u-ll of one end of the string the waistband loosened, and a few shakes of his hips sent the pants falling southward to the ground.

No underwear that day.

"Ahhhh... AHHHH... Oh god!" Vegeta desperately wanted to run but found himself rooted to the spot by supernatural forces, unable to even look away. All he could do was shake uncontrollably and blush.

"Nice piece of ass, isn't he? I mean, I'm straight, and even I can see it."

"Shut up! You aren't allowed to talk about him that way!"

"What would you call him then?

Vegeta couldn't tear his eyes away. "He... he's a... a fool..."

"Hey, bud, every prince should have a court jester."

Goku stepped out of the pants and padded to the stream, wading casually into the calm waters until he was in up to his thighs.

The dying rays of the sun outlined his form in golden light, venturing downward to highlight muscular perfection. He splashed water over himself, hypnotizing Vegeta with the way glinting droplets rolled with artistic abandon down the landscape of his body.

Down slid a droplet along the cleavage in his chest, over the hills and valleys of the abdominals, trailing all the way into the forbidden zone.

Vegeta would have given anything to be that droplet.

Goku gathered up a bundle of water grasses and began to rub them over his body. The plant called soapweed had cleansing properties and was widely used for bathing when roughing it. So that's the green, woodsy scent I smell on him all the time, Vegeta realized.

The tendrils of the plant mass trailed and twisted over his skin in a surprisingly sensual manner, making Vegeta's internal struggle worse yet.

Goku ducked under the water completely then, and for a moment Vegeta was relieved to have some respite from the overwhelmingly erotic sight.

"Heh. Going on a camping trip?" the ghost teased.

"Wh-What?"

"Because that's quite a tent you're pitching, there."

Vegeta squeaked and hunkered over, trying in vain to conceal his hard-on with his hands. "This is- this is just- I was thinking of someone else entirely!"

"Uh-huh."

Before he had any opportunity to calm down, Goku burst above the water, straightening his body in a graceful arc that sent his wet hair flying back. Vegeta's world shifted into slow motion. To shake out the water Goku whipped his head in a figure eight, side to side, as though he'd been starring in shampoo commercials his entire life.

A droplet of water from his hair landed on Vegeta's bottom lip, and the saiyan prince switched to autopilot. Making tiny choking noises, he floated slowly forward in a beeline for the lusty bather. Goku turned away, and eager fingers extended and reached for him.

That gorgeous golden ass called to him, so plump and firm- more succulent and delectable than any of the sweetmeats in the banquet hall; and that amazing cock, still a sight to see even in the cold water...

Forget the banquet. I'll have sausage for dinner, please, thought the crazed prince.

Greedy hands drew closer, closer, and made a grab for him- and then Vegeta only passed through him like the spirit he was.

He blinked, his lust-addled brain trying to figure out why there was no Kakarot in his arms.

"Oh-ho-ho, man. You are so far gone, it's hilarious," Yajirobe guffawed, slapping his knee. "Just admit it, Vegeta."

"ALRIGHT!" he screamed, tearing at his hair. "I want him. God help me, I want him. I want him sooo hard. I want to knead and press my fingers into every inch of him, want to worship him with my tongue, want to plunge my cock into him so hard and fast he'll be screaming my name until he loses his voice and passes out-"

"Whoa, whoa! That's enough, man, I don't need the details! Save the dirty talk for the bedroom. So now that you finally admit your desire, what are you going to do about it?"

"Do? I... I... But what the hell would he want with me, anyway? I'd just bring him down. He's a pure soul; he deserves better than what I could offer him."

"Quit tearing yourself down and give yourself a little bit of credit. Haven't you been listening to us ghosts? He wants you. You're meant for each other. We wouldn't waste our time telling you lies. Bite the bullet and go after him!"

Vegeta took a huge breath. "O...Okay. Okay, I will. I'll ask him-"

"Great!"

"But not today. I'm not ready yet. I need a little more time. Maybe when my kids are grown, or maybe when I've caught up to him in power."

"Vegeta, if you keep making excuses like that you'll never do it. You have to ask him today, it's the right time!"

"Look, I already told you I want him. Now lay off. I have to do this at my own pace."

Yajirobe shook his head. He grew back to giant size and hoisted Vegeta up by the back of the shirt again. "You still need work. Luckily the ghost of the future is next. He'll show you what your future will be if you don't ask Goku now."

Vegeta opened his mouth to deliver a scathing comment but stopped short as he heard a moan from below.

"Vegetaaa..."

He nearly fainted when he realized Goku had taken hold of himself and begun to stroke.

"Agh! My name! He said my name, and he's- let go, I have to get down there!" He flailed and kicked and strained to see.

"No-can-do, buddy. It's almost three. Take care, man, you'll make it through alright!"

The ghost hurled him into the sky with such speed that the world around him blurred, and darkness overtook him once more.

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A/N Yajirobe had the proper look for the 2nd ghost- the chubby giant who loves his food- so I decided to use him. X)