Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Vegeta vs. Freud ❯ Part III ( Chapter 3 )

Vegeta vs. Freud

Part III

The slim figure wearing a forest green and black suit rounded one corner heading toward the room where he would begin his practice after being dead for several centuries. He was excited the person waiting to be analyzed was royalty and from an alien race. Oh, the progressions mankind has done. He rubbed his hands together. Jung is going to be so jealous. Standing in front the oak door Dr. Sigmund Freud took a deep breath, and twisted the handle to let him inside.

"You're late," called Vegeta opening his black eyes as the doctor walked into the room shutting the door behind him with a solid click.

"Sorry, Prince Vegeta," said Freud in thick accent as he sat down in the big green winged green chair. "This palace is huge and I had an up most arduous time trying to follow the directions of that violet colored demon," he lied smoothly.

Vegeta snorted. "Fine. Let's just get on with it. I have other things to do."

Bulma opened her sleepy eyes upon hearing the deep voice of her husband. "Dr. Sigmund Freud," she whispered underneath her breath. "I can't believe it."

Freud cleared his throat. "All right. But before we go on would introduce me to the beautiful young woman."

"Beautiful woman," snorted Vegeta. "When I see her I'll introduce her to you."

Bulma flushed a bright red hue. "Vegeta!" she hissed at him. "He's talking about me."

"But he said beautiful," he objected with a hint of smile in his voice. "He didn't say ugly loud-mouthed woman."

"Vegeta!"

"Fine," sighed Vegeta as he looked toward the perplexed doctor. "This is my annoying mate Bulma Briefs, current CEO and genius of Capsule Corporation."

"Nice to meet you Frau Brief," said Freud as he nodded his head at the young woman. Another interesting piece to his puzzle.

"Dr. Freud," she answered in a breathless voice. "I'm honored to meet you. Please it would be my pleasure for you to call me Bulma." I can't believe it she thought to herself. I'm sitting in room with Doctor Sigmund Freud.

Freud smiled at the young woman and watched a nice coloring flood into her face along with her answering smile. She really was a beautiful woman if he was a few centuries younger he would be tempted. Very tempted.

The Saiyajin prince watched the glances shooting between his mate and the doctor. He didn't like those looks at all. The doctor was giving his mate a look that he would like to have her as a main course. Vegeta growled possessively when the doctor turned his way. "Strike one."

"What," asked Freud nervously he was asked by both King Enma and Oni not to anger the young prince. "I do not understand. What is 'strike one'?"

Vegeta pierced the doctor with blazing black eyes. "You understand just fine Doctor. Don't make me spell it out for you."

Bulma glanced between the two men and thought she saw some secret male message that she wasn't privy to pass among them.

Freud pulled on his vest and pulled out his pocket watch to glance at the time. "Yes, well let's get started." He pulled out his notebook. "It says here Prince Vegeta that your mode of employment is warrior." He looked up. "Is that correct?"

"Yes, that's correct." Vegeta nodded. Damn this was boring he'd had more fun watching his brat play with Kakkarot's younger brat. And this was just the beginning. "What about it?"

Freud shifted into a comfortable position. "I find it very interesting that you chose a position as a warrior given your high station as a prince."

"I didn't choose to be a fighter," replied Vegeta. "My race is a warrior race; it is in our blood, and even if I didn't want to be a soldier the tyrannical bastard that I grew up with made me into a solider."

"This 'tyrannical bastard' that you grew up with, was he constantly ordering you around?" Freud crossed is legs as he prepared to dive into the subconscious brain of Vegeta.

"Yes, he gave me orders, but I didn't have to obey any of them." Vegeta shrugged nonchalantly. "I just chose not to argue with him."

"But you did follow his orders, yes?"

"Yes."

"Was this person your father perhaps?"

"No."

Freud stroked his mustache. "Very interesting." He scribbled some notes down on the yellow legal pad in his lap.

"Do you have something Dr. Freud," asked Bulma breaking into the conversation unable to keep quiet. Her excitement had been rising as she watched his hands fly across the notepad that he carried like a skilled artisan.

Freud nodded to the girl. "Yes. From the write-up that Prince Vegeta submitted when he entered the contest I say that he is suffering from a severally deprived libido."

"Deprived what?" yelled Vegeta getting to his feet his fist poised to strike. "You better hope that 'libido' means something other than what I think it means."

Bulma gave an embarrassed chuckle. "Vegeta may be suffering from several things, Dr. Freud, but a 'deprived libido' is not one of them." The blush came back to her cheeks. "Trust me Vegeta's libido is just fine." As far as she knew Vegeta had a healthy appetite, sometimes too healthy for even her.

Freud gave Bulma an indulgent smile. "If you would please sit down Prince Vegeta I will explain." He watched as Vegeta flopped unceremoniously back down in his seat. "Maybe I should start explaining my theory to you and your wife." The doctor began shuffling through several papers until he found the one he was looking for. He leaned forward, "But I do have one more question."

Vegeta glared at the doctor he wasn't pleased at all that his pre-diagnosis said he was having intimacy issues. "Fine, ask away."

The Austrian doctor cleared his throat, "Well, it's about your mother."

The prince growled, "What about my mother?"

Freud scratched his chin with his pen leaving a streak of black ink on his face, as he considered the delicate way to ask about the prince's mother. "Did you know your mother at all?"

Vegeta hesitated before he nodded no. What did his mother have to do with any of this? "I don't know what my mother has to do with your prognosis as she died when I was a small child."

"I see," said Freud as he jotted down more notes on his notepad. "This is the most quintessential case of deprived libido that I've ever encountered."

"What do you mean 'quintessential case?' questioned Vegeta getting angrier.

"Well, it seems that you've been stunted in your libido Prince Vegeta," replied Freud as he looked down at his notes.

Vegeta held up a hand, "Before you go any further can you define your definition of libido. Obviously we are thinking different than your interpretation."

"Oh," said the Austrian doctor as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "I don't think so, you're in denial right now, Vegeta. But if you prefer I will confirm what you are thinking and hiding from." He uncrossed and re-crossed his legs. "My definition of libido is the sex dive."

Vegeta saw red. How dare this 'psychologist' say that he had a stunted sexual drive. Or to say that he was stunted in anyway. "I'll give you one minute to take back what you just said, or you'll be joining the dead again doctor."

"Hold it," said Bulma pushing Vegeta back down on the cerise sofa. "Vegeta at least listen to what he has to say. This is interesting."

"STUNTED LIBIDO!!" Vegeta was seething with rage. He turned his blazing eyes toward his mate, "What the hell did you write about me, woman!"

"Well, hmm, not much, nothing to get upset about," skirted Bulma as she succeeded in pushing him back down. She tried placating him to get his normal scowl back in place, "I don't really agree to that prognosis, but let's at least hear what Dr. Freud had to say."

"Fine," said Vegeta as he plopped back down. "He'll live to explain his absurd concept." He smirked staring at the sweating doctor, "After that, who knows?"

Freud breathed in a calming breath. He shakily dug into the pocket of his jacket, brought out a lace handkerchief, and mopped the little sweat beads across his prominent forehead. "Thank you, Frau Bulma." He turned to Vegeta. "I didn't mean to upset you Prince Vegeta, but I have to say that you are the best case that I have come across alive or dead that proves my theory of 'Stunted Libido.'"

Confusion shone from Bulma's blue eyes. "What do you mean proves your theory. I don't remember reading anything about the 'Stunted Libido' theory."

Freud nodded his gray head at her. "That is correct, madam. I was working on this theory when I died, and it never got published I hadn't even discussed it with my colleges yet. But now that I am alive for the day, I can use your husband to prove my theory."

"Enough nonsense," interrupted Vegeta. "Explain this theory now!"

"Right," replied Freud as he shifted back toward his impatient patient. "The Stunted Libido theory stems from, the most powerful force in the body: the sex drive. Men and women, countries, and worlds have been brought down by the craving of the sex drive."

Vegeta nodded his head. This was turning out to be something he could relate to. He had to put his own training on the back burner while he had to deal with his body overwhelming need to mate with Bulma. "Proceed."

Freud leaned back and pulled out a special cigar from the inside of his green jacket. He was going to need this to finish the rest of the session. Lighting it up he drew in and prepared to delve deep into his diagnosis. "Vegeta, the libido can bring great heartache, and great pleasure. From your facial features I can see yours has brought you more heartache than pleasure."

"Excuse me!" said Bulma as she shot up from the sofa. "Do you mean having sex with me has been a great displeasure to Vegeta?"

Freud turned to her and nodded carefully. "Vegeta thinks he's deriving pleasure from your body, but his libido isn't fully able to. Please, sit down, I'll explain it all in a minute."

Bulma's brow and mouth twitched but she kept quiet as she flopped down on the cushion. Which Vegeta found amazing since he could feel the cold fury flaring up around her like ki.

"As I was saying," said Freud mildly perturbed about being interrupted when he was getting to the meat of his theory. "When I asked the prince if he knew his mother he said 'no' and that 'she died when he was young.' This is where stunted libido problems begin." He puffed out a stream of smoke. "Because our prince had no mother he wasn't socialized in his libido properly."

"What do you mean I wasn't socialized in my libido properly? And what does my mother have to do with this?" demanded the angry saiyan prince as leaned forward shaking a fist.

"Your mother Vegeta," said Freud totally relaxed now by the special cigar. "She would have been the one to bathe or caress you, therefore she would have been the one to awaken your sense of sexual desire. Since you didn't have a mother you weren't properly awakened."

"Properly awakened?" echoed Vegeta as he gazed at the doctor. "That's disgusting! You're saying in order not be stunted my mother had to bathe me, and arouse a sense of desire inside of me!"

"Yes," replied Freud lazily. "But it doesn't end there, the next person to have socially awakened your libido should have been your father, however from your own response, and what has been written in your contest entry, you weren't reared by your father. Therefore the chance for your libido to fully grow was stopped." He closed his eyes as he breathed in from the 'cigar' again. "Instead of being gently raised you became a warrior, although warriors have passion you didn't have the right kind of passion within you, because your libido lay dormant. Taking this in I would have to surmise that you had to latch onto something else to become…" He opened his eyes to glance down at the papers in his lap. Shifting through them he found the contest entry paper. "Ahh, yes it is "the greatest Saiyan warrior that had ever lived."

Vegeta lifted a brow at Bulma.

She smiled in return.

"However," continued Freud as he leaned back once again. "I don't believe you were the greatest Saiyan to ever live."

"NANI!!!," yelled Vegeta trying to come to feet but Bulma pulled him back by his leather vest.

"Oh, you have the passion of a warrior," said Freud. "But you don't have the passion, because your libido has been stunted."

Vegeta scoffed. "I have all the passion that I need."

Freud lifted a white eyebrow. "Really, Prince Vegeta?" He glanced back down at the paper. "Could you name me a few of your favorite attacks."

"Sure, why not," sneered Vegeta. "There is: Big Bang, Final Flash, and Rapture."

"Rapture?" asked Bulma turning toward her husband.

"That's a new one I've been working on, and I finally perfected," he answered with a smile on his face. "It summons up several lances of ki to shoot, penetrating the person with long shafts." His smiled turned superior. "I can't wait to show it to Kakkarot. I'll thrust every last penetrating rod into his body."

"See," said the Austrian doctor breaking into Vegeta's vengeful musings. "Your attacks are named after sexual slang terms. Big Bang, Final Flash, and Rapture are all part of some sexual desire that is trying to awaken inside your body." He leaned forward excitedly, "And obviously this Kakkarot who is mentioned a lot on your contest form--and to whom most of your energy is directed--is the one who can fully awaken your stunted libido!"

Vegeta onyx eyes widen in shocked. Then he let out a feral growl. "Strike two and three!" He got up from the red sofa.

"Wait," said Bulma as leaned forward. "Son-kun, err, Kakkarot is the one to bring out my husband's stunted libido. Why? And why not me?"

"Because Frau Bulma," Freud leaned over and stamped his cigar out. He was hungry. "The prince doesn't really find you sexually attractive. But I do. His mind finds you attractive, but his stunted libido doesn't! His mother didn't awaken him, his foster father turned him into a warrior, instead of giving him the proper attention that he needed. And by the time he met with maturity he was so filled with rage, that caused further damage to his little libido." Freud looked up and smiled at the towering enraged Vegeta, and then turned back to Bulma. "Then we have Vegeta's denial that he is stunted, his own body knows what's wrong and how to fix it, but Vegeta didn't want to listen, so he latched himself onto you hoping that your body could fix it for him. But having intercourse with you hasn't helped! Just look at him all red in the face glowing with anger. He knows that I speak the truth: sex with you is no fun. However it would be with me." He turned back to Vegeta. "You need to get whoever Kakkarot is to help you sexually unwind, and unleash the passion within you."

Vegeta smiled and then held out a hand and let several rapid ki blasts into the doctor leaving behind a charred corpse. He lowered his arm. "And in case your wondering Freud. I call that attack: Prince Vegeta Kicked Dr. Sigmund Frued's Stunted Libido Ass!" He turned to see Bulma's shocked expression. "What?"

Bulma rose from the sofa still in shock. She glanced between the corpse that use to be Dr. Freud and to her smirking husband. "You killed Dr. Freud!" She marched over and smacked him in the side of his head. "You bastard!"

"What," said Vegeta rubbing his abused head. "Like you didn't see that one coming. His constant hitting on you. His ludicrous idea that I would need Kakkarot to unleash my 'ultimate passion' inside me. Stunted libido."

Bulma shook her head and turned toward the door. "Those were no reasons at all. Most of Dr. Freud's theories were debunked in later years." She stormed out the room and down the hallway toward the giant palace doors where they came in. She kept her back to him even as they reached the outside. "This was supposed to be a glance at live history. I can't take you anywhere. You've ruined our quality time again." She turned to him held her arms out with a smirk. "I guess I'll have to take you home to bathe and caress you."

Vegeta scowl turned to a smirk as he pulled his mate into his arms. He looked down at her in his arms, as they blazed toward Capsule Corp. and smiled. "Damn, quality time."

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Finis. Part III. Created [04/19/01] and Finished [09/28/01]. Well, that's my ending to my Vegeta vs. Freud fanfic. I know it wasn't that funny, and I should stick to writing dramatic A/U fics. But hey, at least I tried. ^^;;; Okay, send them to me: flames, critiques, comments, and questions. (Although I expect more flames) at: pmchivas@hotmail.com or if you prefer leave me a message. Dark Shadow Princess.

Lunatics Ravings:

Yes, I know Freud never had a theory called "Stunted Libido" I just made that up.

And yes, I also know that Freud did cocaine, instead of weed. That's if you didn't catch the 'special cigar' part.

And yes, I also know that "Rapture," isn't an official attack of Vegeta's. But it was listed under 'ecstasy' in the Thesaurus.

And finally yes, I know this fic made absolutely no sense.

Ripper at least it wasn't penis envy. O_o