Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ When Kami Attacks! ❯ Chapter 1

*When Kami Attacks*

By: the Sinsisters

~Scene One~

Goku: There he is! Kami!

Vegeta: Yes, I see him. He's coming this way.

Krillin: Hi Kami!

Kami: Hellooo *Batts eyelashes and smiles like a drunken prom queen*

~Scene Two~

(Goku and Vegeta are making it bad on the kitchen floor)

Kami: giggle…giggle…*Climbs in the kitchen cabinet that's nearby*

Goku & Vegeta: kiss, kiss, kiss…hug, hug. *Make love…*

Kami: *Peaks out the crack in the cabinet* Hee, hee, hee! Giggle… SNORT_SNORT…giggle…giggle.

Goku: Vegeta, *Kiss* Did you *Kiss-Kiss* hear something? *Lick*

Vegeta: Besides *Kiss* your grunting? *Grope* No.

Kami: *Bursts out of the cabinet howling like a mankey that just happens to be on crack.*

Goku & Vegeta: *Grope each other and shriek like teenage girls.*

Kami: Ha ha ha! *Starts crawling towards the frightened saiyans and…*

CENSORED

Broadcaster Guy: We must cut this program because it has become too…well…um, how shall I put this… Unsuitable for all people under the age of 102 years of age. So instead, we will replace this special document with `Piccolo's Karate Chop Action: The Life of a Big Green Guy with Pointy Ears.'

~Scene Three~

Piccolo: *Sitting in deep meditation* ( Actually having images of Goku, Vegeta, Krillin, and Mr. Popo all caressing his green body…) chuckle…chuckle…

Annoying Kid That Piccolo Has The Balls To Train: Hey Mister? *Gets up and pokes Piccolo in the face with a kendo stick.*

Piccolo: Smile, smile. *Naughty thoughts* Giggle, giggle.

Annoying Kid That Piccolo Has The Balls To Train: *Poke, poke*

Piccolo: *Snapping out of trance.* What the hell do you want, kid?!

Annoying Kid That Piccolo Has The Balls To Train: Well, all we've done so far in the past four hours is sit around. I don't think you know what you're doing!

Other Kids: Yeah!

Piccolo: How dare you defy me?! The only big, green guy with pointy ears on this whole planet! I will show you true power!

All Kids: *Exchange glances and funny looks*

Piccolo: *Sends random energy blasts and karate chops about the room sending kids left and right* Bua-ha-ha!!! *Piccolo goes Super Namek! Instead of turning blond, since he has no hair, his skin turns bright orange.*

Annoying Kid That Piccolo Has The Balls To Train: Woah! Holy shit, dude!!

GOES ALL STATICY-LIKE

Broadcaster Guy: Um.. Yes… hello again. Well, what can I say accept due to the graphic, violent nature of this documentary we must move on to our next program, `Cooking with Bulma.'

~Scene Four~

Oolong: *Sitting in a pan of minced basil and chopped vegetables and such.* Look, Bulma. I don't think you wanna do this. Really, you don't!!

Bulma: Quiet you! I'll do as I damn well please! *Shoves apple into Oolong's mouth then sends him into the 450-degree oven.*

Oolong: *Painful screams and fetish attempts to call for help. Then silence.*

ABRUPTLY CUTS OFF

Broadcaster Guy: Right, you know the drill. Now, for your viewing pleasure, is variety hour with Trunks and Goten!

~Scene Five~

Goten: TRUNKS! I wanna be on top! I don't wanna be uke AGAIN!!!

Trunks: No way! I get to be seme!

Goten: But why?

Trunks: Because…I'm taller! And sexier! And I have more fansites! And…and…um., and because my Dad is, well, he's a wizard!

Goten: Really?! Cool!

Trunks: *Sweat Drops* Yes, of course! Now bend over!

Goten: *Defeated expression* Okay.

END

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