Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Who In Their Right Mind...? ❯ Whee! ( Chapter 1 )

Who in Their Right Mind...

(Disclaimer: Me no own Dragonball. You no own Dragonball. Japanese man own Dragonball. Me no Japanese, me brownie. Me also no own "Mario" and "Candyland". Read fic and get lolli. Me also no bad English.)

The day was beautiful. It was sunny outside and all of the children were outside at play. Vegeta himself was making good use of the great weather. Actually, that was a complete lie. Vegeta was, in fact, sitting on his royal arse in front of the television doing absolutely nothing.

" Vegeta, what the hell are you doing staring at a blank screen?" Bulma questioned in the irritating voice of hers. She sat down next to the man who used up six bottles of her hairspray and glue a day to get his hair so spiky.

" Shut up, woman! They're telling me something!" He yelled in that stupid yet amusing dubby (english version) voice of his and leaned forward, squinting his eyes.

" Who? I don't see anyone..." Bulma frowned, thinking hard which she rarely did.

" The elves! Can't you see them? Millions and millions of little elves, all staring at me. Mocking me...those bastards..." And with that Vegeta began to laugh insanely, rolling on the floor. Bulma slowly backed out of the living room, picking up the phone and dialling Trunks at Capsule Corp.

" Trunks, your father has gone crazy," She announced.

" Again?" Trunks sighed. " Mom, I'm really busy right now..."

" Listen!" Bulma carefully held the phone over Vegeta who was now screaming and firing random Ki blasts wildly into the air while rolling on the floor.

" Get them off!" He screeched. " They're poking me!"

" I'll be there soon," Trunk said, putting the phone down and sighing. " Sorry Goten, but we have to postpone our game of strip Candy land."

" What?" Goten yelled. " But this isn't fair!"

Trunks shrugged, slightly happy to be away from the game since he was losing and would be forced to become Goten's sex slave for a month if he had lost entirely. Then again...

Trunks licked his lips, then shook his head and walked out.

" Better luck next time!" Goten called out after him. His mood had lightened up quickly, since Trunks had just walked out in his boxer shorts which were adorned with Santa's Elves. If only Goten could have seen the look on Vegeta's face when Trunks came to 'save' him.

" Now what do I do..." Goten asked himself. " I think I'll go visit Dad!" He flew out of the window, once more forgetting to open the window first. Once he had gotten the ringing sound out of his ears, he had flew towards his house where he ran into a flock of birds who pecked at him and Pan, who smashed him on the head with a large bat.

When he had come to, he was in the Son house with Chi Chi looking worridly over him.

" Goten, what happened?" She asked.

" Pan...insanely large bat...bitch...elves...strip Candy land..." Goten mumbled. Then he got up and smiled. " Wow! I got here so fast? Where's Dad?"

Chi Chi sighed, pointing to Goku who was wearing glasses with the lenses popped out and was sitting at the table doing math.

" What the..." Goten said slowly, wondering if Pan had given him brain damage. He inched towards his father and peered over his shoulder screaming when he saw that Goku was, in fact, doing math. " Oh my god, he's doing math!"

" I know, I'm scared too..." Chi Chi whispered.

" Cosine, Sine, Tangent, Sine, three point one four one five nine!" Goku sang while multiplying factorial radicals. Chi Chi and Goten held on to each other and began to cry.

Pan flew by the Son house, hoping that Goten had forgotten about the whole 'smacking him over the head with a giant bat' incident. She heard crying inside and decided now was not the best time to tell the family she was going to jail for sexually harassing Master Roshi. She shrugged, pulling her cape and hat on and flying on her broom towards Hogwarts academy.

On her way there, for she was actually completely lost, Pan ran into Marron and Bra who were having a tug or war between each other over Number 17.

" He's mine!" Bra shouted, yanking on his arm.

" No, he's mine!" Marron screamed, yanking on his other arm.

" Well, he's mine!" Videl screeched, pulling a death grip on Harry Potter.

" Umm, we're fighting over Number 17..." Marron said. Bra shrugged, letting him go flying into Marron. She ran up to Videl and grabbed Harry's legs and they both began to yank.

Number 17 and Marron looked at each other blankly for a moment before Number 17 said,

" Marron, I am your uncle."

She screamed and ran off into the sunset. Suddenly, a poke ball smacked her on the head and knocked her unconscious.

" Dammit! I wanted a Marronmon!" Gohan said, pouting. " Now, I'll never be the greatest master!"

He fell to the ground sobbing when suddenly, Bulma, Trunks and Chi Chi went running past him with their hair on fire.

" My hair's on fire!" Bulma screamed.

" We know that!" Chi Chi snapped.

" I wish my hair was on fire!" Trunks shouted, trying to get rid of the flames on the crotch of his boxers.

" Floateous Malgorus!" Pan said, waving a stick over Trunks. Everyone was quiet for a minute before Trunks began to run around and roll on the grass trying to douse the flames.

" The elves!" Vegeta screamed, chasing Bulma and Chi Chi with a canteen of gasoline. They all smacked into Marron's unconscious body and ended up in a heap.

` " My Goku sense is tingling!" Goku said from the Son house. He jumped onto Goten and whipped him.

" Giddy up, my faithful horse!" Goten shrugged and 'galloped' to where he saw disaster.

Gohan was sobbing, Pan was waving a stick around and wearing all black, Chi Chi, Trunks, Marron, Vegeta and Bulma were all unconscious and Bra and Videl were fighting over an adolescent boy with brown hair and glasses.

Goku took out his calculator, accidentally pressing 'Alpha' instead of ' 2nd'. Suddenly, "Mario" came on.

"Hmm...a funny little Italian man with a moustache...." Goku peered at "Mario" for a while before banging the game on the ground.

" Get out! Get it out!" He screamed. Goten decided to see Piccolo, who would be the only sane person left in Satan City.

Goten screamed when he saw an entire movie crew at Piccolo's 'house'. He was wearing a pink dress and putting on make-up.

" What the hell, Piccolo?" Goten asked, clearly afraid.

" I'm a Cover Girl model!" Piccolo said. His gruff voice was gone, replaced by something that sounded like Goten's Japanese voice and he was...smiling. " They needed someone to model the new 'yellow lipstick' look, so they asked me!"

Goten backed away, hoping that everyone would be back to normal when he opened his eyes.

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(Part Two? Or should the messed up sequel stay in my insane mind? Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!*coughs*)