Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Wish For The Past ❯ The Consequences of Our Actions ( Chapter 67 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: D is for the disclaimer which you can plainly see. B is for Burenda, who is writing this story. Z is for Zz, that is my lack of sleep. Now, all together, this tells you I don't own DBZ!

Later that night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Bardock lay on top of his blankets and stare pensively out the window at the stars twinkling innocently in the black velvet sky. The open window allowed a cool breeze to flow into the room, gently caressing his cheeks, but it didn't soothe him as he'd hoped it would. His mind was too preoccupied with the events of the day to allow him to sleep.

After they'd found Trunks, who, fortunately, had already escaped the castle before it crashed, they'd flown a little ways away from the crater it had created and popped open the capsule house. It had been something of a shock to walk inside and find everything ransacked, courtesy of Pilaf and his two goons, but Bardock had quickly recovered and started issuing orders to the children. He didn't actually do any cleaning himself, though. The sun was setting and everyone was hungry, so while they were picking up the mess, Bardock had made dinner using some of Bulma newly bought food. That in itself had been an interesting process, given his Saiyan tastes and how little he knew about Earth foods and herbs. The little blue haired onna had had a fit when he tried to serve them raw "pork". What was wrong with eating meat raw? But Bulma had been adamant and in the end he had had to cook the meat thoroughly.

None of this, however, was what was keeping him awake. His thoughts kept drifting to the two visions he'd had just before he woke up in Pilaf's dungeon. Two visions, back to back, but showing contradictory scenes. If one happened, the other could not, but if the other happened, the first was impossible. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that they could not be visions of the same future. They'd both started at the same point in time, then diverged, the outcomes hinging on one single factor.

The wish.

Mulling over the two visions in his mind, Bardock rolled over onto his stomach and rested his chin on the heel of his hand. In one vision I stayed here on Earth when Goten and Trunks made the wish to go back home. That was the vision that showed me the death of my two sons. But the other vision showed me going with Goten and Trunks. In that vision Goku grew up and had children. Does that mean that if I stay here in this timeline something bad will happen to create that darker future? Bardock's thoughts turned slightly bitter. So if I don't stay, it never happens, and everyone lives oh so happily ever after? Stay with my son and lose him or leave my son and lose him anyway? Are those my only options?!

Why? Why did it matter so much if he stayed in this timeline? He wasn't anyone important, just a low level Saiyan with a higher than average power level. No one back on Vegeta-sei would miss him if he was never seen or heard from again. Granted, he probably had a bounty on his head for kidnapping the prince, but couldn't he just stay here on Earth, with Goku, and pretend he'd died?

"That's it!" he spoke out loud without thinking, struck by sudden realization. "It's the price on my head that's the cause of all this. Somehow, someone will track me down here and murder my sons, then probably execute me. If I stay here, I'm endangering Goku and Radditz! Damn it!" Letting loose a few colorful curses, the Saiyan warrior slid out of bed and started pacing, thoughts racing furiously. How do I get around this? I don't know how long it will take for them to find me. Not too long, judging by how old Goku and Radditz looked in the vision. Do I have to go to the future with Goten and Trunks? What if I took Trunks's space ship and went off world for a while until it was safe to come back? Radditz could stay with his brother while I led the... uh... whoever's after me... off in a different direction. That way if I get caught, they'll both still be safe.

But I'll still be abandoning them. The thought brought a wave of despair crashing down on him, causing him to sink listlessly down onto the bed. Tail hanging limply over the edge of the bed, his gaze once again turned to moodily contemplate the three quarters full moon that could be seen through the open window. Of course, there's a chance that I wouldn't get caught, that I could come back to live with them once this all died down... but I don't know how long that would take. Or if it would ever happen. Still, at least with that plan there was some hope that he would see he son again. Except...

Except that it would never be safe for him to come back.

Not with a tracking device buried in his skull.

Bardock raised a hand and rubbed the back of his neck, one finger resting lightly on the place where he knew a tiny scar could be seen. Bitterly cursing himself for a fool, he grabbed a pillow and hurled it across the room. "Damn it!" he half-shouted, angry but not wanting to wake anyone else up. Why did I have to join the kami-damned military?!

"Tousan?" Goku's tentative voice called out from the doorway where he stood in his oversized T-shirt, hanging onto the knob as though uncertain as to whether he was going to come in or shut the door again.

Distracted from his frustrated musings, the restless Saiyan glanced at his son. "What is it, Goku?"

Letting go of the door knob, the seven year old boy padded over to his father and climbed up onto the bed. "I had a bad dream," he stated matter-of-factly. He looked up at Bardock and hurried to explain. "Not tonight, though. I had it earlier, but I just can't quit thinkin' about it. I'm not afraid or nothin', 'cause I know it's not real, but I... I just can't sleep," he finished lamely, a hint of pleading in his voice.

You and me both, Bardock thought wryly, though he kept that thought to himself. Children seeking comfort didn't usually want to hear about other people's problems. Instead, he pulled the unresisting Goku into his lap and gently stroked the child's tail. "Well, why don't you tell me what the dream was about?" he suggested.

Cuddling up into a more comfortable position, Goku leaned his head against his father's chest and nodded. "M'kay," he murmured, the soothing tail petting making him a little drowsy. "It was kinda confusing, 'cause in the middle of the dream it started over, but went a diff'rent way than the first time." He paused for a small yawn, then continued. "In the first half, after Goten an' Trunks went home, I saw me an' Radditz die, which was weird and scary 'cause even though I was dead - that was the scary part - I could still see things happening - that was the weird part. And you were there, too, I think. I'm not sure. I didn't actually see you, but it felt like you were there, 'cept you couldn't move. Then it started over, but this time you went with Goten and Trunks." Flicking his dark black eyes up to meet Bardock's, he added in a slightly hurt tone of voice, "Without me."

As though a light had turned on in his head, Bardock suddenly knew exactly why Goku couldn't sleep. He wanted reassurance that his father wouldn't abandon him again. The boy had grown used to having family and now he didn't want to lose it, even in a supposed "dream". Unable to meet his son's eyes, Bardock looked away. He had, after all, been contemplating that very possibility before Goku came into the room.

But it would have been for his sake, not mine, he silently defended.

Doesn't matter, a voice in his head responded. To a child, abandonment is abandonment.

"And then," Goku went on, oblivious to his father's inner turmoil, "I saw myself-"

"Only you were older?" the elder Saiyan cut in. He was fairly certain that the dream Goku was describing was the same set of visions Bardock had had earlier, but he wanted to be sure. "And you were with a woman with black hair and a baby with a tail?"

The black haired chibi's eyes widened dramatically. "How did you know?!"

"Because it wasn't a dream, Goku," Bardock began, then stopped, uncertain how to continue. Shaking his head in a futile effort to clear some of the turmoil away, he allowed his gaze to meet his son's again, trying to convey with his eyes just how serious he was. "Do you remember how I told you I could sometimes see the future?" Curious as to what his father was getting at, Goku nodded. "That dream was actually one of my visions. Or, rather, two of them that happened one right after the other."

"You mean I can see the future too?!" his son gasped, shocked.

Frowning pensively, Bardock shook his head. "I don't know, Goku, but I don't think that's the case. Do you remember when you and Goten both had the same nightmare about you and Radditz dying and Vegeta doing something to hurt me?" The boy nodded again. "That was another one of my visions. I'm... not certain, but I think that, somehow, I'm broadcasting my visions to you boys. Radditz doesn't seem to be having the same problem, or if he is, he isn't telling me about it. Same with Trunks and Vegeta. I can't figure out why only you and Goten can see my visions, unless it has something to do with both your age and your blood relation to me."

The young Saiyan twisted his head up to peer at his father in confusion. "Why would my age make any difference?"

Bardock raised an eyebrow, then reminded himself that Goku hadn't been raised by Saiyans so might not know his race's inherent talents. "Saiyans have a weak telepathic ability. It's strongest among those who are blood related or have bonded to their mate. Children's minds are too immature to have any kind of control over their telepathic skills, but they can still receive messages or mental impressions from their parents. As they grow older, however, their minds develop a natural protection against mental invasion, so telepathic contact isn't as direct - like the difference between talking to someone face to face and talking to someone through a door."

If anything, Goku looked more puzzled than before. "Uhh..."

Bardock sighed and shook his head. "It'll be easier to understand when you're older. Just take my word for it that it's easier for you and Goten to pick up on my visions than it would be for Radditz because he's too old and you're not."

The seven year old scratched his head and thought about that for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay, tousan." Pausing to yawn, Goku rubbed his eyes and struggled to remain awake enough to continue the conversation. "So what does that vision stuff mean? Am I really," he yawned again, "gonna die?"

Not if I can help it, Bardock firmly vowed to himself. "I don't know, Goku. I was thinking about them before you came in here and the idea came to me that maybe those two visions are based on different possible futures. One will happen if I do one thing, but the other will happen if I do something else." Sensing that his son was on the verge of falling asleep, he stopped petting the child's tail. He wanted Goku's opinion on this before the boy nodded off so he wouldn't have to explain everything all over again. "Do you understand?"

"Hai," Goku murmured, looking a little more awake now that the soothing petting had stopped. "Do you know what you have to do?" he asked curiously.

This was it. He knew he had to tell Goku what he had realized, but he dreaded seeing the look on his son's face when he explained the what the "best" decision would be. Swallowing a hard lump in his throat, Bardock took a steadying breath. "I think that I have to go to the future with Goten and Trunks if I want to prevent the deaths of you and your brother," he said, anxiously watching Goku's face for a reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

"But why?!" Goku cried out in protest, fully awake now. He jumped to his feet so that he was standing on the bed eye-to-eye with Bardock, black eyes filled with bewildered disbelief and shock at his father's statement. "Why do you have to leave?! I don't understand! I don't want you to leave, tousan!"

"Goku! Goku, calm down!" Bardock pleaded, taking his son by the shoulders. The boy trembled under his father's hands, tears welling up in his eyes that he made no effort to blink back. The older Saiyan winced slightly at the sight of those tears, knowing they were his fault, but plowed on determinedly. "Goku, please understand. I don't want to leave, either, but I can't stay!"

"Why not?!"

"Because you'll die if I stay-" Bardock began, but was cut off.

"That's not what I mean, dad!" Goku said hotly, the hurt in his voice mixed with anger now, anger at this seeming betrayal. "I want to know why I'll die if you stay! What makes you think it's because you stay that I'll die?!"

"If you'd give me a chance to explain, I would!" snapped Bardock, his patience wearing thin. The stress of the situation, from the seeing the visions to having to confront his youngest son, was starting to get to him, so he was having a hard time dealing with both his own emotions and the emotions of a six year old child. Kami knows he made a mess of things when Radditz was that age. Seeing Goku's eyes widen at being yelled at, Bardock relented somewhat. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just... have a lot on my mind right now." Goku nodded, but didn't say anything, neither condemnation nor forgiveness, although his eyes still demanded an answer to his question. With an exasperated sigh, the elder Saiyan bowed his head and parted the hair at the nape of his neck. "Do you see that scar, Goku?"

Puzzled, the chibi leaned forward to peer at the spot where his father's fingers rested. "Yeah... What about it? How did you get it?"

Straightening back up, Bardock rubbed his neck again. "Back on Vegeta-sei, when you join the military, they embed a microchip in your skull that serves as a tracking device so that, no matter where you go, if you're lost or injured someone can find you. It also makes sure that no one tries to desert. But that's how we're going to be found." He exhaled loudly in frustration, flopping back onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling. "I broke the law, Goku. Not only did I desert, I kidnapped the Prince of all Saiyans." Turning his head so he could look his son in the eye, he asked, "Do you know how serious that is?" Goku shook his head. "It's punishable by death, that's how serious."

"Oh." Now it was Goku's turn to be somber as he pondered the full implications of this. Sitting down cross-legged on the bed, he turned pleading eyes on his father. "But... do you really have to leave?" he asked desperately. "Isn't there another way? Can't you just leave for a little while, then come back?"

"I don't know, Goku," Bardock sighed. "I really don't see how I can do anything else. If I stay, they'll track us down and, if the visions are true, kill all of us." He gave a short, humorless laugh. "I wouldn't be surprised if they did, really. Me, they'd kill in the name of justice. You would die for failing in your duty to clear this planet. Radditz would be killed for aiding in the kidnapping of the prince. Everyone else..." He trailed off, then shrugged. "This is a pretty valuable planet. Frieza and his father might be gone, but the Saiyans may very well stay in the Planet Trade business."

A confused look crossed Goku's face. His father had never really explained in depth what it was he'd once done for a living, and Goku had never pressed the matter. He knew Bardock would tell him when he was ready. But this.... "How do you trade a planet? I thought planets were stuck where they were." He frowned. "Wouldn't it be hard to move a planet somewhere? I mean, planets are huge!"

Bardock winced. He'd avoided telling his son the specifics of his life before he came to Earth... because, deep down, he didn't want the boy to know the details of his bloody past. Taking a deep breath and looking away from his son's innocent black eyes, he explained, "In the Planet Trade business, intelligent life is... cleared from a planet before being sold to another race whose own planet is dying." He tensed, waiting for the explosion he knew was coming.

"You mean they kill everyone on the whole planet?!" Goku yelled, voice filled with horror and outrage. Then his eyes widened as he realized the further implications of his father's statement. "But... but... if the Saiyans worked for Frieza... they cleared planets..." He paused, dragging in a ragged breath before blurting out the awful truth. "That means you did that too?! Tousan, how could you?!"

Despite his resolve not to flinch at Goku's accusation, Bardock shifted uncomfortably under his son's horrified stare. Irrationally irritated by his reaction, he folded his arms and scowled down at the boy. "Do you think I had much of a choice? You weren't there, Goku. You don't know what it was like. Our people are warriors by nature. Trying to live without fighting is like trying to live without food."

"But you don't have to kill people!" Goku shouted, distressed. "You could just spar with each other - like I do! I train and I go to tournaments and I don't kill unless I have to!! Life is precious, tousan! Don't you understand?!"

"No, you don't understand, Kakarot!" snapped Bardock. Abruptly standing up, he turned around to face the distraught chibi. "You don't know what it was like to serve under Frieza. You can never understand what the Saiyans went through to become what they are. You do not even remember what it is like to be a Saiyan." Curling his tail around his waist, he turned his back on his son and walked to the door, pausing only long enough to say, "Do not judge me without knowing me." Then he disappeared.

As Goku watched his father leave the room, unshed tears shimmered in his wide, dark eyes. "I want to know you, 'tousan... but how can I, when you don't tell me anything?" he whispered.

There was no answer.