Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Yamcha Attacks! ❯ Yamcha Attacks! ( Chapter 1 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Independence Day, I also don't own Dragon Ball Z, I am going to own this kick ass collectors edition Goku doll soon though. Just give me time….

A/N This is just a really dumb Yamcha bashing fic that I wrote back when I first started writing about 3 or 4 years ago so you'll have to forgive me if it's a little shoddy.

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Somewhere near the moon, in the darkness of space am evil entity was drawing ever closer to the unsuspecting inhabitants of Earth. The giant alien ship, shaped in the shape of a giant banana, contained within it the vilest alien creatures ever seen. It was only a matter of time before they reached Earth…

Bulma and Vegeta lay asleep in their bed, wrapped in a tangle of sheets, suddenly shattering the peaceful morning, Oolong, dressed as a dog, came bounding in and jumped on the bed.

Vegeta sat up cursing and threw Oolong into the wall, "Stupid animal! Go back to your gay friends!" Vegeta threw the lamp from the bedside table at Oolong,

"Now, now Veggie, he's just trying to impress you." Bulma muttered as she rolled over, yawning and stretching.

"He wants to impress me he needs to get a job." Vegeta lay back down and concentrated on returning to his wonderful dream about Bulma, a bath tub full of jelly and many adult toys.

"MUM!" Trunks came tearing into the room (Now he is only the little 5 year old trunks, remember this people), "MUM, MUM! Look it!" Trunks pointed excitedly at the window, a glowing Ki ball in his hand.

"It's too early baby…" Bulma muttered and rolled over to wrap her arms around Vegeta.

"Go away brat, I was having a very nice dream!" Vegeta snarled at Trunks as he started to jump on the bed. Growling Vegeta hurled his alarm clock at Trunks who yelped and raced out side the room again; Oolong followed close behind him, muttering something about lawsuits from the makers of Independence Day.

"Soooo Vegeta…tell me about this dream of yours…" Bulma murmured as she slid on top of Vegeta and laughed sexily.

INSIDE THE ALIEN SHIP

"Your highness we have reached out destination." One of the hideous aliens spoke, his black spiky hair glistening with its own saliva.

"Excellent, deploy the troops, I wish for this planet and all its people to become ours as soon as possible, have you had any contact with our informer?" The Queen alien crossed its legs provocatively at the soldier.

"Yes, he said that the people of earth are quite defenceless and are ripe for the picking." The soldier, not at all averse to his queen's attentions fluttered his eyelashes flirtatiously.

"Brilliant!" The queen threw back her head and laughed manically, the drone aliens around her followed her example until the entire banana shaped ship echoed with shrill laughter.

BACK ON EARTH

Vegeta snatched the phone from Bulma and listened as Goku told him the bad news;

"It's horrible Vegeta! A whole invasion of aliens!"

"Aliens!" Vegeta's mouth dropped, not because he was surprised about aliens, but because Bulma has just flashed her breasts at him. "What kind of aliens?"

"Well as far as we can tell from early reports they're…Yamcha's!"

Vegeta gasped, "The aliens are all Yamaha's? That bastard I always knew he was up to no good. He must have been a spy for them. Damn it! How could we have been so blind, no normal man could possibly be that ugly and be human! Darn it!" Vegeta punched a hole in the wall.

"That not all Vegeta, they can shoot rays of light at people and they turn into dribbling idiots!"

"You mean…"

"Yes! The Yamcha's are turning us humans into them! They're making us Yamcha's!" Goku sounded hysterical.

Bulma and Trunks who were standing nearby let out gasps suddenly as a Yamcha appeared in their living room; Vegeta dropped the phone and fell into an attack position, frowning ferociously at the intruding alien.

"Hey! Vegeta! Do you wanna spar with me?" Yamcha grinned stupidly and licked his lips at Vegeta.

"Vegeta, no! Something's wrong, Yamcha never offers to spar with you, he's too much of a wimp!" Bulma pulled Vegeta away from him just as Yamcha's mouth opened and a beam of light shot at him.

"Darn it!" Yamcha stamped a foot, "I missed! Now I'm really mad…ooh Bulma what a gorgeous dress!" Yamcha ignored them suddenly and walked towards the washing basket and pulled out a blue cotton dress.

"Aaaaaah! Cover the boy's eyes!" Vegeta yelled as Yamcha began to strip, "He'll be scarred for life!" Bulma shut her own eyes and covered Trunk's who was already whimpering and squirming.

"Oooooh! Its feels so soft! Oh and you have one in red!" Yamcha threw back his head and made a weird grunting noise, apparently in some sort of primal form of communication. An instant later two more Yamcha's appeared and began to try on Bulma's clothing…

Meanwhile at Goku's house

"Gohan! Nooooooo!" Chichi let out a wail as Gohan was hit by the beam attack that a Yamcha had fired at him. Gohan fell to the floor making choking sounds, his body convulsing and twitching as he started to turn into Yamcha.

"Run Chichi! Is too late for Gohan! They've made him into one of them!" Goku blew up some more Yamcha's with a Kamehameha and grabbed Chichi, dragging her from the house.

"But why is he making that gurgling noise?" Chichi looked at the prone body of Gohan as Goku took off for capsule Corp,

"I don't know Chichi, all I can think of is that he turned into a Yamcha so stupid that it forgot how to breathe…"

Chichi began to cry, "The humanity! Oh the humanity!"

"I know Chichi…I know."

Back at Capsule Corp

"Nooo!" Vegeta grabbed Bulma and took off, "We have to get out of here!"

The Yamcha's now clad in Bulma's clothing tried to grab them as they flew off, jumping as high into the air as they could in a desperate bid to grab Vegeta's ankles.

"No! Vegeta come back! Join us! Join us!" The Yamcha's howled as the most awesome character to ever grace the world left them.

"Oh, Vegeta! I've never been so scared in all my life!" Bulma shivered and buried her face in Vegeta's shoulder; she still clutched a shivering Trunks to her chest.

"Tell me about it! At least those things didn't proposition you with an eternity of being gang raped!" Vegeta shuddered in revulsion; in Bulma's arms Trunks swallowed his vomit,

"Those things were yucky daddy! They stole mummy's dresses too!"

"Be quiet brat!" Vegeta snapped, "I don't want to think about them anymore, and I definitely do not want the visual image of them dressed like that ever again!"

Trunks, Vegeta and Bulma all moaned and shuddered at the same time in disgust as they inadvertently remembered the dress clad Yamcha's.

"Look Vegeta! It's Goku!" Bulma pointed excitedly ahead at the Goku shaped dot on the horizon.

"I never thought I'd say this but…. God it's good to see Goku!" Vegeta said a quick prayer as Goku pulled up near them, Chichi in his arms wailing.

"Bad news Vegeta, those bastards have taken down the rest of our friends. Tien been changed into a drooling vegetable, Choutzu thinks he's a French poodle, Puar is…Puar and, oh Kami, it's so horrible! Master Roshi thinks he's a Russian Stripper, he was in our house and he began to…"

Chichi covered Goku's mouth with her hand, "Don't say it Goku! I don't want to remember!"

Vegeta almost puked as the image of Roshi stripping inadvertently worked its way into his mind, "We have to stop them!"

"Yes but how?" Bulma asked, as sweat ran down her forehead.

"I don't know but we'd better then of something quick!" Chichi raised a hand and pointed a finger at huge crowd of Yamcha's that were heading towards them moaning Vegeta's name.

"I say we give them Vegeta!" Chichi whispered to Goku, as the Yamcha's got close enough for her to see that they were all in smutty women's clothing.

"Hey I heard that!" Vegeta yelled.

Suddenly Bulma's head shot up, "Guys! I have an idea! Get me out of here and back to Capsule corp. I know how to destroy the Yamcha's!"

A/N - Oh-oh…cliff hanger! Can Bulma destroy the Yamcha's before they can capture Vegeta or will they all suffer the same fate of Master Roshi….please review and the next chapter will be up soon!