Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ You're What?! ❯ Saiyans and Shopping Don't Mix ( Chapter 11 )

You're What?! Chapter 11: Saiyans and Shopping Don't Mix

"Oh this is so cute!" Bulma exclaimed as she held up about the one hundredth dress that day. This one was a lavender and white polka dot outfit with puffy short sleeves, frilly lace at the bottom, and a ribbon that tied into a bow in the back. "What do you guys think?" She then turned to the two disgruntle males that accompanied her. The father, son duo looked at the dress with barely concealed terror and disgust.

"It's girly Mom." Trunks stated the obvious, his nose wrinkling in revulsion.

"Well it is for a girl Trunks. Besides, it is not like I am asking you to wear it." Bulma reasoned with a roll of her eyes. So far, her husband and her son had not been much help on this endeavor.

"I think what the boy means to say is that the dress is hideously cute. Girl or not, that child will be a half Saiyan. There is no way an heir of the Saiyan throne will ever be caught wearing something like that!" Vegeta stated with a sneer, his arms crossed firmly across his chest. Despite his dismissal of her choice of dress, Bulma couldn't help but smile lightly. Her husband was pissed beyond belief about being stuck in this baby boutique, and to her, his displeasure was nothing short of hilarious.

"Whatever Vegeta. What would you suggest: tiny battle armor? I don't think so." Bulma replied sarcastically. She then proceeded to drop the dress in the shopping cart beside her as a sign that the debate was over. She heard Vegeta growl a little more loudly than she would have liked out in public and she sighed. Luckily no one was around to hear her husband's show of distaste. "Fine Vegeta, why don't you go and pick out something that you think is suitable." That seemed to brighten her husband's attitude slightly. At least it would give him something to do aside from following his wife around like a lost little puppy.

"You have a deal, Bulma. I will find something that will be acceptable for a Saiyan princess." Vegeta then turned on his heel and headed off toward another section of the store. Trunks watched his father leave with obvious envy. Bulma shook her head and put her hand on her little boy's shoulder.

"Why don't you go keep an eye on your father. I'm sure I can handle shopping on my own." Bulma told Trunks in a gentle voice. Trunks looked up at his mother, his eyes grateful for the chance to get away from all the frills and lace his mother was engrossed in. Just when it appeared that he was going to agree, his face fell.

"I can't just leave you here Mom. You brought us along because you didn't want to go shopping by yourself. I'll stay here with you." Trunks said trying to suppress his longing to leave. Bulma felt pride fill her. Her son was willing to sacrifice his happiness to stay with her. What a selfless act. Bulma smiled lovingly at her son and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Sweetie, I'll be fine by myself. Besides, I am interested in seeing what you two macho men pick out. So, go on, enjoy yourself." Trunks looked like he was going to protest once again when Bulma held up a hand. "Ah, ah, ah. I am not taking no for an answer Trunks. Make sure your father behaves himself and pick out something 'acceptable for a Saiyan princess'" She finished, imitating Vegeta's voice as best as she could, which over the years had gotten pretty good. Trunks broke out into a fit of laughter. He always loved it when his mother would impersonate his father, it just sounded so funny.

"Ok Mom, but we will be back soon. I promise." Then, glancing around the store to make sure no one was looking, he quickly hugged his mother before running off after his father. Bulma watched her son leave with a small chuckle at his small show of affection. She then turned around and picked up another dress for examination.

Vegeta glanced around the baby store with narrowed eyes. All this cuteness was too much for his senses but if he had survived hell than he could survive this. There had to be something in this blasted store that wasn't covered in cuddly teddy bears or pastel colors. He had witnessed the outfits his mate had dressed Trunks in as an infant and he definitely did not need to relive that fiasco. One thought of that ridiculous pointy-eared hat was enough to make him shudder. Walking through the sales racks he searched the clothing for anything his little girl could wear.

"Hey dad!" Trunks called out as he dodged around the clothing racks toward his father. Vegeta turned slightly and eyed his son suspiciously.

"What are you doing here boy?" Vegeta snapped.

"I want to shop with you." Trunks responded while coming to stand at his father's side. Vegeta took one look at his son and came to his decision.

"No, now go away." The prince responded without hesitation.

"Aw, come on Dad! Why do I have to suffer over in girly world with mom all by myself?" Trunks practically whined.

"Because I am your father, that's why."

"Yeah, but how much torture can you inflict on me? You already forced me to come to this stupid place." Trunks threw back at his father, slight anger coloring his voice.

"I can inflict as much 'torture' on you as I like. Torturing you children is one of the joys of parenthood. I wasn't going to be the only one forced into coming to this accused building. You can do the same to your children someday. But for now, I certainly don't need you nipping at my heels. Now leave me alone boy." Vegeta stated with a small smirk as he saw the scandalized look on his son's face. Somehow, kids never found it funny when their parents took pleasure in annoying them.

"Come on Dad! You know I'm not going to leave without making a scene that will attract lots of people over here." Trunks recovered with a smirk of his own. Vegeta scowled at his son's threat, which he knew the little troublemaker would follow through with if he didn't get his way. There was no doubting that Trunks was a conniving little punk; a true Saiyan Prince, a thought that almost had Vegeta smirking despite himself. Trunks caught the change in his father's demeanor and knew that with a little more prodding his dad would bend to his wishes. "Besides, with me helping you look we can get done and out of here twice as fast. So, what do you say?"

Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the boy. "Fine," was the clipped reply that the boy received. "Just don't get in my way son." Vegeta added as an afterthought and Trunks' face broke out into a grin. He was going shopping with his father; he figured things should definitely be interesting. The Saiyan Prince was just starting to walk towards another sales rack when his young heir hatched a new idea.

"You know what will make our excursion even faster dad?" Trunks suddenly called out after his retreating father. Vegeta stopped mid-stride and turned toward his son, interested in what could end this torturous shopping trip. He raised an eyebrow signaling his curiosity of Trunks' plan. "We should use baby monitors!"

"What?" Vegeta asked incredulously. He certainly did not see where his son was going with this.

"It's simple dad. We can use the baby monitors to communicate to each other at different parts of the store. That way we can split up and alert the other if we find something worth noting, and we won't end up looking at the same parts of the store." Trunks explained with enthusiasm.

"It sounds to me like you just want to play with a toy and I certainly won't partake in such silliness." Vegeta replied sternly.

"Baby monitors aren't toys Dad. Although Mom used to let me and Goten," Trunks began his story before getting cut off.

"Goten and me," Vegeta stated, correcting the boy's grammar. Trunks groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Not you too! Mom is always doing things like that to me." The young lavender-haired warrior whined.

"Your mother is just teaching you how to speak correctly. A Saiyan Prince is to speak properly and act well-educated at all times." Vegeta said regally, raising his chin and standing tall and proud: well, at least as tall as Vegeta could be. Trunks looked up at his father solemnly and shook his head, showing his father he understood his message.

"Sorry Dad. Anyway, back to what I was saying," Trunks started again, "Mom used to let Goten and me play with my old baby monitors as walkie-talkies. They weren't exactly the same, but they worked just as well." Trunks looked up at his father, awaiting his answer. Seeing his dad hesitate with the idea, Trunks tried a different approach. "Here, just to prove to you that this will work out, why don't you keep looking around and I'll go grab some tester models of the baby monitors. I'll be right back," and before his father could object, Trunks was high-tailing it out of the clothing section. Vegeta watched his son depart and sighed. How did he ever get dragged into these things? He was getting way too soft. Oh well, Vegeta had learned to chose his battles. This just seemed like one of those times that it would be easier to give in and endure the ridiculous notions of his offspring than to fight his son tooth and nail.

Vegeta turned to the rack on his right and started ruffling through the outfits hung up. His face slowly morphed into one of clear distaste as he started looking at each outfit. Too puffy, too pink, too cuddly, too ruffled, too gaudy; was there nothing in this store that was just plain and simple, yet elegant enough for a princess? Turning to the rack on his left, Vegeta began sorting through the outfits there. Just as he was about to give up on that rack, the second to last outfit caught his eye. He pulled it out and hung it at the front of the rack. It was a red sweat suit outfit. The pants had two white stripes running along the outside of both legs and the top was a hooded sweatshirt jacket with similar white stripes on its sleeves. Now that outfit didn't seem too bad. At least it was athletic wear, not that a newborn baby would be doing anything athletic. Vegeta cocked his head to the side as he gazed over the outfit, determining whether or not he should take it. Just as Vegeta had decided that he liked the outfit and it would be acceptable for his daughter to wear, a Sales Associate, whose name tag announced that she was Pam, and a very pregnant woman walked over to the sales rack Vegeta was standing in front of and picked up the suit.

"Here we are!" The heavy-set, grandmotherly saleswoman exclaimed overly enthusiastic. "This is the very last one in stock, you are a very lucky woman." She continued, not even paying attention to Vegeta and the outraged expression that had blossomed across his face. Handing the outfit to the customer, 'Pam' started ushering the woman back towards the check out. Faster than the normal eye could see, Vegeta zipped on over in front of the women and grabbed the garment.

"This is mine." He said simply before stepping around the women to go back to his original spot. Both women stared at the spot Vegeta had just vacated, not quite comprehending what had happened. Where had that man come from? It seemed like he had appeared out of nowhere. It was Pam who seemed to recover from the shock first, because she was the first to spin around.

"Excuse me sir," she began, walking over to Vegeta rather briskly for some her age and size. She came to stand beside the Saiyan Prince whom, needless to say, was ignoring the woman. "Excuse me," she began again, this time tapping Vegeta's shoulder. This finally caught his attention and he spun to face the woman.

"How dare you touch me, woman." He hissed, leaning toward the once again shocked saleswoman. His eyes were narrowed dangerously, and anyone who wasn't blind could see the murderous gleam shining in his ebony eyes. The woman took a step back, her face paling just a little, before she became angry.

"I'm sorry sir, but it was the only way I could get your attention. You have taken something that belongs to my customer, and I suggest you hand it over before I call security." She finished hotly, trying very hard to not let this man in front of her intimidate her.

"I believe you are mistaken, woman. Did you not see me at that sales rack when you so rudely rushed in? Did you not see me looking at that garment that was miraculously hanging at the front of the rack? I was going to buy that outfit; however, you decided to come in and take that which was not yours." Vegeta stated deathly calm, his arms crossed over his chest in trademark fashion. "Therefore, this outfit is mine. You will just have to find something else." He then turned away from the woman and began walking towards the electronics section to retrieve his son. He didn't want to have to deal with such nonsense. He didn't get far though.

"Sir, the item was not in your possession. Hence, I was justified in taking the outfit for my customer. I'll ask you again to return the item." Pam persisted. Vegeta spun back around, a malicious smirk gracing his features.

"And what will you do if I don't give it back?" He hissed out challengingly, his eyes still holding that barely concealed gleam of hatred. Pam took a step back once again. This man was downright frightening. It truly looked like he would kill her if she took the outfit from him. The pregnant woman, sensing the same thing finally spoke up.

"Um, Miss Pam," she began hesitantly, not wanting to have the man's anger directed at her, "I can really just order the outfit from the catalogue. It isn't that big of a deal." Pam turned around and looked at the young, soon-to-be mother and sighed. She didn't want to back down from this gentleman, but right now her survival instinct was telling her it was time to leave the general vicinity. Before, she could announce her intention to leave; Vegeta was back in her face.

"I suggest you take her advice, Pam," he began, practically spitting out her name, "you don't want to have any trouble now, do you?" He then broke out into that wicked smirk again and allowed a minuscule ki-blast to hit the ground at her feet, releasing a small puff of smoke and creating a hole the size of a quarter. He then allowed a larger ball of ki to accumulate into his hand. Pam and the pregnant woman backed up in fear, their trembling apparent.

"No sir, we don't want any trouble." Pam stuttered before turning to her client and escorting her away. Vegeta watched the now frightened women leave his presence and he lightly smirked, amusement clearly seen in his eyes.

"Have a nice day ladies," he said sarcastically as he held up his first find of the day.

"Who are you talking to dad?" Trunks asked a little worriedly. No one seemed to be around and yet his father was talking to himself.

"No one son; absolutely no one." Vegeta said with another little smirk. Perhaps this wasn't going to be so bad after all. He already had one outfit done, and he got to scare some ridiculous humans. It didn't get much better than that. Vegeta found himself chuckling as he thought of the look of terror that had flashed across Pam's face when he had flicked that ki-blast at her feet; simply priceless. He may not have ever hurt the two women, he wasn't the Saiyan he used to be, but that didn't mean he didn't like terrorizing the innocent public from time to time. What could he say? It was a hobby of his.

Meanwhile, Trunks just shook his head. He doubted he would ever figure his father out. Not that it mattered at this moment. Whatever had transpired while he was gone had put his father in a semi-good mood, and that was all that mattered to Trunks. Not waiting for any other explanation from his father, Trunks thrust a baby monitor and a receiver at his dad. "Here. Talk into this monitor whenever you want to talk to me. I'll be able to hear it with this receiver," he explained, holding up a slightly larger device than the baby monitor itself. "Likewise, I'll talk to you through my monitor to your receiver."

"Why don't we use the same monitor?" Vegeta asked, looking at the devices in his hands with trepidation. This seemed like more bother than what it was worth.

"Because it doesn't work that way. It isn't like a walkie-talkie. The monitors are only one way. You just use them to hear the baby from another room; you can't talk back to the baby." Trunks explained, his voice betraying his exasperation. Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"Fine, whatever. Let's get this over with." Vegeta said, walking off and leaving his son behind.

"That's a big 10-4. Over and out." Trunks said into his baby monitor, making it blast out of Vegeta's receiver, which had the volume turned up all the way. Vegeta visibly jumped and moved to turn down the volume, then shot a glare over at his son who was laughing at his little prank. Vegeta then turned his eyes skywards as the noise from the monitor had disturbed a few of the babies that were in the store. He wasn't going to last long if he had to listen to a chorus of crying infants. Sighing to himself, Vegeta tried to block out the noise and continued his search.

Bulma read the features of the product she was looking at when she heard a shopping cart approaching her. Glancing over, she saw her husband walking up the aisle. The blue-haired genius smiled at the scene before her. Vegeta, looking none to happy, was pushing a shopping cart full of clothes and toys. She was surprised to see that he had taken the challenge seriously and had actually gone shopping. Even more surprising was that she had not heard a peep from either him or Trunks for the hour and a half that they were gone. Speaking of which, where was her son? Almost as if on cue, a voice spoke from Vegeta's cart.

"'Grumpy Prince', this is 'Purple Terror' do you copy?" Trunks disembodied voice emanated from the cart, his voice taking on a very cheesy quality. Bulma quirked an eyebrow at her husband; she couldn't wait to hear what this was all about. Vegeta glared at his wife's obvious amusement and picked up his baby monitor.

"What boy? I thought I told you to find your mother." Vegeta snapped; his patience with this excursion was clearly over.

"Dad!" Trunks whined in response. "You aren't doing it right. You are supposed to say 'I copy Purple Terror'."

"I most certainly will not. I have had just about enough of this foolishness. We are done shopping, now. Get your butt over here, your mother and I are over by the electronics." Vegeta commanded, his voice leaving no room for argument.

"Yes dad," came Trunks' disheartened reply. Although he wouldn't have expected it when they first set out this morning, Trunks was having a pretty good time with this entire baby shopping experience. He just pretended that he was on a secret mission, and playing on the baby monitors was a blast. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten to annoy his father this much. It was a pity it was coming to an end.

After he was sure Trunks was done speaking, Vegeta placed the two devices onto the shelf he assumed they had come from and came to stand directly beside his mate. Glancing over her shoulder, he tried to see what exactly she was looking at and figure out what the thing was supposed to do for the baby.

"What is this thing?" Vegeta asked, coming over to inspect the gadget. He picked up the two funnel type pieces. Each funnel had a thin hose attaching it to an electric operated device. The Saiyan Prince, not realizing what he was doing, held up one of the funnel-like pieces to his mouth and spoke directly into it. "This isn't another type of baby monitor is it?" Bulma, for her part, was doing a pretty good job of not laughing and her husband's total obliviousness.

"No Vegeta, that isn't what it is." She then lowered her voice so that she wasn't announcing to the whole store that her husband had such an apparatus hovering around his face. "It's a breast pump." Vegeta immediately dropped the object and backed away from the machine.

"Are you telling me what I think you are telling me?" Vegeta asked; his cheeks slightly reddened in embarrassment due to his lack of knowledge. He had just looked like a complete idiot. Luckily, only his mate was around at the time to witness his blunder; then, seeing the amusement dancing in his wife's eyes, Vegeta thought that maybe he wasn't so lucky. She would never let this drop and he could tell that she was about ready to bust out laughing at any second. "Go ahead, woman, laugh. You are going to pop a blood vessel if you hold it in any longer." Vegeta snapped.

"Oh Vegeta," Bulma said between chuckles, doing a really good job at controlling her laughter. "You need to learn how to laugh at yourself from time to time. Even you would have to admit that it was funny. If you had seen someone do what you just did, you would find it amusing."

"It wasn't funny, Bulma." Vegeta said, his voice almost taking on a pouting tone and Bulma just smiled. Her prince charming was such a baby when it to someone making fun of him.

"It was funny Vegeta." Bulma shot back and before Vegeta could attempt to deny the claim again, the blue-haired genius came to stand right in front of her husband. "But you know what? I'm not going to argue over something so stupid, so let's consider it dropped. Sound good?" She asked, inching ever closer to her mate, looking up into his eyes lovingly. Vegeta looked down at his mate and nodded his assent. Bulma then took advantage of the moment, and quickly closed the gap between them and gave Vegeta a light kiss on the lips, catching her mate off guard. She smiled as she caught the conflicting emotions flutter across his features. He couldn't decide if he was angry she had done such a thing in public, horrified that she had engaged in such a public act of affection, or was aroused by her nearness.

"Eww, gross. You shouldn't do that in public!" Trunks exclaimed as he turned down their aisle; his face scrunched up in disgust as he saw the quick peck his mother had given his father. Granted, it wasn't the worst thing Trunks had ever seen his parents doing, but that didn't cover up the fact that he had just witnessed his parents kiss. Both Bulma and Vegeta looked over at their son; Bulma with a smile, and Vegeta with a scowl.

"Hello sweetie, you ready to get on out of here and go grab some lunch?" Bulma said in an attempt to defuse any situation that may occur due to Trunks' poor sense of timing. Vegeta hated being caught doing something that could be construed at weakness. Trunks nodded vigorously to his mother's question. He was starving, and although baby shopping hadn't been as bad as he thought it was going to be; Trunks was ready to get out of the store and never come back. Trunks then came up and took his mother's cart and started to push it towards the checkout area for her. Vegeta, still scowling over at his heir, followed behind the two of them.

Once they approached the counter, Bulma started piling the things from her cart onto the table to be purchased. The saleswoman at the desk looked at all the merchandise in awe. "Well, you are making certain that your little girl is going to have enough to wear." She said with a small laugh as she began ringing things in. Bulma glanced behind her where Vegeta was just pulling in behind her.

"Oh that is only the half of it," Bulma began, laughing at the shocked expression that came over the woman's face. "Yep, my husband and son have a whole cart over there to themselves." At the mention of another cart, the woman looked behind Bulma and gasped, her face suddenly going pale.

"Hello Pam," Vegeta said mock-sincerely, an evil looking smirk gracing his lips. And with his words, the grandmotherly saleswoman fainted. Immediately, Bulma turned on her husband and rolled her eyes. She just knew this shopping trip had gone too well. She should have guessed there was some reason why Vegeta had been so "quiet".

"Vegeta, I don't know what you did to this poor woman, and right now I could care less, but perhaps you should go wait in the car. I need her to wake up and finish checking us out." Bulma suggested, as she moved around the counter to try and help the terrorized Pam. Vegeta smirked. It was about time.

"You know what Bulma? That is the best idea you have had all day." With that being said, Vegeta gratefully left the accused baby boutique.

There you all go! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter; it is definitely my longest one yet. Let me know what you thought about this installment of the story. I thrive off of everyone's reviews! I also want to pose a question to all of you out there reading this story. What would you like to see happen in this story? I have a pretty good idea where I am going with this, but I was just wondering if I am taking too long to get to Bra's birth. I plan on skipping ahead a couple of months in the next chapter, but do any of you think I should get through the pregnancy any faster than what I am? It's just something I am pondering. Let me know what you think.

Thanks again for reading everyone!

Until Next Time…