Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Young Man's Heart ❯ Imitation Of Life ( Chapter 6 )

~Mistress Of Insomnia~
Here is yet another chapter…..17 pages worth!! I had to make it longer so that I could get past the plot advancement and into some actual angst and action. Which should come into play in the next chapter. I still don't know where this fic is going, but this is where it gets juicy. And so…with no further ado, enjoy the character expansion and the setup for what is to come. Is it just a phase? We'll see.
~Yet Another Sleepless Night Of Inspiration~

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Breaking Benjamin
"Phase"

the light is dead in your eye
so I'll keep livin my life
I only wanted to try
to find my way back inside
my imitation of life
my litigation of life
it's something easy to find
inside the shade of your eye

out of the ground I rise to grace
nobody knows it's just a phase
help me I'm out of breath again
nobody knows somewhere to make it go away
phase
phase
phase

I find it hard to decide
the way to make up your mind
your lips are better than mine
so you can kiss this goodbye
my imitation of life
my litigation of life
it's something easy to find
inside the shade of your eye

out of the ground I rise to grace
nobody knows it's just a phase
help me I'm out of breath again
nobody knows somewhere to make it go away
phase
phase
phase

it's just a phase
and I can't wait
phase [x 3]
I know [x 3]
it's just a fucking phase

-

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Still, Gohan wasn't sure just how he'd survive another day if this first one was already so bad.

But he was ok now. He felt good right now. That was all that mattered. Right now, he could deal with everything.
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Warnings - Some language, a little more suggestion toward drug abuse, and this chapter covers about three days worth of material in dear Gohan's life.

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*Imitation Of Life*

Gohan dragged himself from his mattress and the odd angle he had somehow contorted into during the night. Sometime in sleep, he had rolled and hadn't felt the pain of his cast biting into his flesh. He rubbed the red mark on his chest where the edge had pressed and some crumbs of loose plaster flaked away where the thing had begun to crack, he ignored them. The constraints on his arm and shoulder had become a nuisance long ago and he really didn't mind if the thing broke off. It's not like you could keep something like a cast on a Saiyan or even a demi Saiyan. It just didn't work, they were too reckless and too strong for something so flimsy to last long.

Gohan stumbled into the bathroom and decided that he was gonna take a fucking shower, cast or no cast! He turned on the water and stepped in as steam began to take over the room. Still mindful, he kept his left side out of the water as well as he could, but it felt so good to have hot water pouring over his skin. He sighed contentedly and just stood there until he realized he was going to be late for work. Even then, he took his time, drying slowly and eyeing his reflection in the mirror once he got out. He scrubbed the towel through his hair twice and tossed it away, not bothering more with the unruly spikes. Then he picked up his near empty pill bottle and popped it open.

By Kami, this day would *not* be as bad as the last! He took two of the remaining three pills and swallowed them down without much thought at all.

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He stared at the computer screen tiredly, his bleary, watery eyes looking unfocused as he slowly typed with his right hand. He heard his name called twice and finally, slowly turned to look at his addressor when he remembered that that was what you were supposed to do when someone calls you. She smiled at him curiously and he smiled back. "Good morning, Lian."

She shook her head and laughed softly. "Afternoon, Gohan. It's afternoon now. Having a better day today? You're smiling."

Gohan nodded and chuckled. "Oh, I'm just dandy. I wish Sofie would stop answering her phone that way, though. Her voice makes me want to punch through this wall and stick a pencil up her nose." He replied relatively good naturedly, though he meant every word.

Lian laughed louder, her golden curls shaking and glinting under the artificial lights, drawing Gohan's large eyes. He watched how they bounced and swung and wondered if her hair was as soft as it looked. She dragged his attention back to her face when she spoke.

"I went ahead and filed the stuff you finished yesterday after you left." She informed him cheerfully. "I only took what was obviously all done."

This surprised Gohan. "You did?" He looked around as if he might find some trace of what she just told him. He stuck his good arm behind his head in an automatic reaction. "Heh, heh, thanks. I didn't even notice. The pile *is* smaller though. Thanks a lot."

Lian shrugged. "You sure are in a much better mood today. I almost feel bad telling you that I saw Rick around. I think he's gonna come looking for you again."

Gohan rolled his dilated eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "Eh, whatever. The jock can shove it up his ass if he really wants to."

Lian laughed again. "Yeah. He can." She looked at Gohan appraisingly. "I still have a hard time picturing you here doing this sort of stuff. You just don't seem like the type for all this anal retentive, stiff, perfectionist kinda crap."

Gohan sighed and looked at the files that he had scattered around. "Yeah, well. Unfortunately, it's exactly me. You can call me Uber Nerd The Anal Retentive." He snickered at himself rather wryly. "Or UNTAR for short. What do you think? I think it's kinda catchy."

Lian shook her head as she giggled. "No way. Nah. You don't look like an Untar to me."

She stepped into the little cubicle and gazed at him thoughtfully for a few moments. It gave Gohan a chance to catch her scent which was very muted and natural. He thought that she was rather pretty, prettier than Videl. And there was something about her, something in her scent and her stance that appealed to him. How she seemed to just let everything slide off of her. She didn't seem like she worried about anything. He envied that.

"I think you look like an Angel." She stated happily. "Bright and strong and innocent…but also dark and brooding with the weight of the heavens on your shoulders and no free will. You exist to do the bidding of a greater power whether you want to or not."

Gohan blinked and stared at her, not sure what to say. She leaned down to look into his startled eyes and smiled sweetly, as if she wasn't even aware of the insightful and deep thing that she had just said. "I like you, Angel. I think I'll call you that from now on. It suits you better." She giggled again at his confusion and patted his cheek softly. "I'm glad you found a way to relax, tension like that will kill you someday. Let me know when you need me to file some of this stuff. I get pretty bored just answering the phone. K?"

Then she left and Gohan sat there completely perplexed, trying to figure out what had just taken place and what she had meant. His first instinct was to get mad and indignant. What did she know about anything?! Nothing, that's what! But then the anger bled away and he sighed, closing his eyes. She was a strange one, that was for sure. Pretty, but strange. Finally he laughed and rubbed his hand over his face tiredly. "I sure hope I'm not that easy to read." He said softly to himself and shook his head, getting back to work. Though ever so often he chuckled absently to himself again as he tried to concentrate.

This day was leagues better than the last and for that Gohan was ultimately grateful. And the medication didn't really inhibit his work. If anything, it made things feel more clear, though he found his mind wandering more often than not as time slid past without his notice. He reached down for another folder and found only bare desk. Glancing down in confused surprise, he looked around and found a messy, haphazardly stacked pile of papers and folders on his left, all finished. Gohan looked at it thoughtfully, his brow creasing, and then leaned back in his chair.

"Huh…" He smiled and rocked back in his chair, setting his feet on his desk. "Whaddaya know? Done. That's cool." He yawned and relaxed, staring up at the ceiling.

Suddenly his eyelids drooped and hung heavy now that he had nothing to concentrate on. If work was like this everyday, he wouldn't mind it at all. He couldn't even remember any of the accounts he just worked through. It was like a blank slate that he knew was done and he didn't have to ever look at again. He stared up at the white tile ceiling and the florescent lights imbedded into it. He imagined that he could see the light rays shining down through the bumpy plastic, imagined that he could feel it where it hit him. It was warm and comforting and so peaceful. Peaceful white light. It seemed to make all the voices and noise around him fade out, blocked away from his hallowed little spot. So…very…nice… But of course, it couldn't last forever.

"Gohan?"

Slowly, Gohan turned his head and looked sleepily at Sofie who stood at the doorway of his cubicle. "Mmmm…yes, Sofie?"

She pursed her lips at him, eyeing the way he was stretched out as if taking a nap, but she didn't say anything about it. "Gohan…" Then her eyes widened and she reached out a hand toward him in alarm.

"Hmm?" Gohan murmured, still looking at her blankly. Then the world suddenly turned sideways and he more heard himself grunt rather than felt the impact. He blinked slowly and looked down at himself…or rather, up. It took him a few seconds, but when his brain caught up, he started to laugh softly.

"Gohan, are you alright?!" Sofie's voice actually sounded worried.

The demi slowly rolled off of his fallen chair and climbed unsteadily to his feet, using the desk for balance. Now that he was on his feet, he suddenly felt the true effects of the meds. He closed his eyes and waited for the numbness to fade and his blood to catch up with the movement. "Sure, Sofie. I'm fine. Sorry about that. This cast weighs a ton. I forgot about it for a minute there." He opened his eyes and smiled sweetly at her. She had actually been worried for a moment. That was…nice. "You need me for something?"

Sofie gathered her wits again and nodded. "Yes…that boy from yesterday is here. I thought… Are you sure you are alright, Gohan, dear?"

Gohan nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Didn't even feel it. That jock is back, huh? Ok, Sofie. I'll save you. Don't worry." He chuckled at his little joke, sure, he'd save Sofie from the big bad college student (even if he couldn't save her from anything else), and stepped past her. The dizziness had almost faded away now. Absently he scratched at the cast and felt through his shirt that the crack had grown. Oh well.

"Thank you, Gohan…" Sofie called after him. "Now…you be more careful, hear? We just got you back. Can't let you get hospitalized again."

Gohan didn't hear her, his mind was already elsewhere. He felt a mischievous urge rise up inside him and smirked. So, Rick was back for more, huh? Like hell was he gonna let the kid get away with as much as yesterday. He was actually mildly surprised that he was looking forward to seeing what the jock would do today.

Sure enough, there was Rick pacing back and forth in front of the help desk. Gohan stepped fluidly up to the counter and leaned casually on his good arm. "May I help you?" He asked, as if meeting the guy for the first time.

The jock grimaced when he saw Gohan but stepped up and dropped some papers in front of Gohan. "Here. Get this over with already, will ya?"

Gohan looked down at the papers slowly and then back up at Rick. "And what is it that you'd like me to do?"

The jock glared. "Fix my scholarship!"

Gohan shook his head helplessly. "I'm sorry, sir, but you have to do that yourself. I can't do your homework for you."

Rick's features went slack as he tried to figure out what the hell Gohan was talking about. "No, fix my scholarship grant. Come on, man. I have to have it done!"

"Aaah." Gohan nodded in understanding and then looked at him blankly. "Do you have your grant letter?"

The jock stared at him and then gestured impatiently at the papers. "Yeah, it's right there."

Gohan looked down as if seeing them for the first time. "Oh, good." He picked at the stack, looking for what he would need. After a moment, he put the papers down again. "Nope. Sorry. It's not here."

The jock stared again, his brow dipping angrily. "What do you mean it's not there?!" He snatched up the letters and shuffled through them. "Here! It's right here!"

Gohan shook his head, a completely neutral and bored expression on his face. "Nope, sorry." He pointed to the page. "This is your eligibility letter. It doesn't say anything about your grant or your grant number.

Rick was now breathing harshly through his nose. 'Poor guy has such a short fuse.' Gohan thought amusedly.

"This is all I could fuckin find, man! You've got the name of the shitfaced-lender there! Can't you just fucking find it??!"

Gohan let his eyes widen and stepped back from the counter, looking at Rick reproachfully. "I refuse to help you if you insist on using language like that. I'm fucking sensitive, you know!" He exclaimed, sarcastically aghast. He had to work so hard to keep his laughter from showing and he thought he was doing rather well.

Rick again stared at him, seemingly at a loss as to what to do or how to respond. He finally took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm down. "Sorry, man. I'm just a little pissed, ok?"

Gohan nodded sagely, surprised that the jock gave in so quick. He must have made quite an impression on Rick yesterday. "Alright. Do you know your social security number?"

Rick shook his head, but began sifting through his pockets. Gohan ignored it, though. He stared in mock disbelief. "You don't know your social??"

Rick glared at him and growled. "We went over this yesterday, dude!" He finally gave up and threw his hands up in the air. "I had it! I had it written down, damn it!!"

Gohan carefully stayed neutral again. "Ah, I see. Such ingenuity. I'm impressed. But it didn't quite work, did it?"

The jock looked like he was about to tear out his hair now. "Damn it! I don't know what it is and I don't know where my grant letter is! Can't you look it up??"

Gohan shook his head sadly, mimicking Sofie's fake sympathetic tone. "I'm sorry, dear, but you're shit out of luck."

At first Rick looked like he was going to start yelling, then, after a tense moment, his shoulders slumped and he just stared helplessly at the ground. He stayed that way, seemingly unable to think of anything more to do. Gohan decided to take mercy on him. He'd had enough fun. He allowed a small pitying smile to rise and sighed, shaking his head.

"Alright, Rick. Is your mom home?" Gohan asked patiently.

The jock shook his head mornfully. "My mom's not around anymore and my dad doesn't know shit about this kinda stuff."

Gohan paused thinking that that explained plenty. No wonder Rick was an asshole. He was raised by another asshole with no mom around. 'What do you expect from a broken home?' He thought wryly, remembering his own childhood. Alright. So maybe he suddenly was willing to take more than just a little pity on the guy.

Gohan sighed and rolled his eyes as if this was taking all together too much effort on his part. "Come on, Rick. Come back here, I'll see what I can swing. But you better keep your mouth shut or you really will be shit out of luck."

Rick's defeated body language didn't change at all, though he followed Gohan into the office section of the building. Gohan led him to a small office and ordered him into a seat a next to the desk and sat at the computer. "Ok…did you manage to come up with a middle name yet?"

About a forty minutes later, Gohan leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, yawning wide. He had a phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder and wore a very bored, slightly annoyed grimace. Rick had his head hopelessly cradled on his arms on the computer desk.

"Is that so?" Gohan spoke into the telephone. "Well, in that case, would you mind faxing it out for our records? Thank you, that would help immensely." He quickly wrote down something on a piece of paper and thanked the person again before hanging up the phone. He then turned to the computer again and began his slow, single handed typing. A few minutes later the fax next to him started working and he pulled out the paper that appeared and continued typing. Ten minutes later he yawned and leaned back to stare at the football player who was fast asleep, head still on his arms which were still crossed on the desk. It was a comfortable silence only barely disturbed by the young man's deep breathing. The room was abnormally warm. Usually the air conditioning was on high and the place stayed chilly all the time. Gohan absently wondered if it was because of the jock because he looked so very warm in that letterman jacket. It was a nice looking jacket. The demi wondered what life might have been like if he'd gone for some sort of sport's scholarship and had his own jacket like that. He couldn't have gone for football, he was built too trimly for that even if he could out do anyone on the field. What would things have been like if he had friends and teammates like Rick here, always out partying and dating and...and...doing whatever it was that jocks do... Would things have been better? Would he be...more like what everyone wanted him to be? Well...everyone but mom... Jocks always seemed happy. Happy or mad. Maybe he should have done something like that instead of going for a teaching career. The path he had chosen sure entailed a lot of shit with it. A really simple and straightforward physical career would have been so much easier. But…again, he couldn't do that. He was too good at it. He couldn't ever let anyone know that, right? Couldn't risk his secret being known. That really sucked. That he had to hide who he was forever. His dad never hid unless people made him. His dad knew who he was. Gohan slumped a little, feeling the weight of the cast on his shoulder. Suddenly he hated that weight. He couldn't stand it. And the itch under it. That itch that he'd been trying to ignore for weeks. It was always there, driving him nuts, mocking him. It knew. It knew he couldn't reach it…just like he couldn't reach so much. He couldn't reach… He couldn't show. Always hiding. Like his tail, hidden so uncomfortably under his pants, it twitched against his thigh where it was wrapped creating another itch. He was always what someone else wanted. Everyone else seemed to know who he was.
Everyone but him. He had no idea who he was. Even some girl who had known him for 2 days knew more about him that he did.

He didn't like that train of thought. Time to distract himself. "Oy." Gohan poked Rick with a pencil.

Rick jerked awake and straightened, rubbing his arm. "Jeez! What'd ya do that for?!"

Gohan eyed him sourly. "All finished. Now go away. I'm tired of looking at you."

Rick glanced at the clock and then at Gohan in confusion. His eyes were drawn to the paper on the desk and the grant letter that the lender had faxed only moments ago. "You… You got it??"

Gohan huffed impatiently. "What did I just say?"

Rick grinned and hooted and jumped up, snagging Gohan into a rough hug. "Yeah!" Gohan, who had been completely unprepared for such an outburst, almost fell off his chair when Rick let him go again. "Cool, man! So…I can play now?"

Gohan righted himself and couldn't keep the amused smirk off his lips. "You can play to your little jock brain's content."

Rick grinned. It was the first time that Gohan had seen him smile and he was struck by how much better the man looked that way rather than with that bastard scowl. Rick ignored what Gohan said. He almost seemed to float now that this had been lifted from his shoulders. "Thanks, man, I owe you one."

Gohan got up and led Rick back to the lobby. At the counter, Rick caught Gohan around his shoulders again and squeezed lightly. 'Jeez, jocks sure are touchy feely.' The demi thought absently, wanting to shrug him off, but he ignored it. The guy obviously had just had his dream come true, to play football for free. What simple dreams… He still felt a tiny dark cloud in his mind from his previous thoughts, but that was already far away. Now that Rick wasn't being a depressive or violent ass, his presence was actually kind of pleasant. Gohan looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "If you're done fawning over me, you can go away now." He said good naturedly.

Rick nodded and let go, moving to the other side of the desk. Before Gohan turned away, Rick raised his hand and slapped it on the counter. "Hey, man. You're okay. Kind of an asshole, but you're ok. Hey…tell me…how'd you get that thing? I've been wondering about it since yesterday." He pointed to the cast.

Gohan was so amused by being called an "ok asshole" that he didn't even think twice about answering. "Someone tried to kill me." He said automatically, still feeling too good to let himself think too deeply about darker things. "But I gave a hell of a lot better than I got." He smirked again and Rick's brow creased in surprise as the jock laughed.

"You know…I believe it, man." Then Rick left and Gohan started back to his cubicle.

In the hall, the demi slowly came to a stop. He only just realized what he had said to Rick. What he'd said about what had happened. Self-consciously he touched his shoulder and the itch beneath seemed to get three times worse. Kami, how he hated that itch! That kid had tried to kill him…and he'd given a hell of a lot better than he got… It was true. He'd given better than he got. Yeah. …Yeah. Gohan raised his head again and mixed emotions slowly faded from his troubled eyes leaving…leaving…for the first time in so very very long…in years perhaps…self assurance? Satisfaction? Yeah… For the first time in as long as he could remember he felt a small sense of confidence and certainty. It felt good and he latched onto it for dear life. Yeah. He gave better than he got. Why not? Why shouldn't he have?

Suddenly two hands gripped his good arm and squeezed. He looked slowly to his right and found Lian smiling prettily up at him.

"Now now, not getting gloomy again, are we, Angel? It doesn't suit you." She said cheerfully.

Gohan couldn't hold back a smile and shook his head. "Nah. Just thinking. I'm good." He thought about it a little more. "I'm doin' much better."

Lian nodded and her eyes held a strange understanding that left Gohan feeling as if he were missing something, but she pulled him toward his cubicle and he was given no time to question it. "So! You got stuff for me to do? It's almost closing time. Better do it quick so we can go home!"

"You're sure persistent, aren't you?" Gohan observed quietly.

She began to pull his pile of papers into some order and grinned. "Yeah. I'm rather obsessive compulsive on a good day. Just pray you don't ever see me on a bad day."

Gohan had to admit that the work went a lot faster with her help than it would have on his own. He had a hard enough time getting the papers into the folders straight without getting the folders into the file cabinets. She wasn't bad company either. She was always moving, always chattering about something or other, she never stopped except to take a breath and see if he was still there. It was amusing watching her flit around like a hyperactive humming bird while he was so still and settled and slow. He could have just watched her all day. She even made him forget about the creature that had crawled beneath the flesh of his shoulder all day. Finally, she came over to him where he sat by a filing cabinet and closed the drawer as he put the last file away.

"That's it! All done! Yay!" She never stopped smiling all this time. "After spending so much time with you, Angel, I'm sure that I was right. You've got godlike patience to put up with me for so long. I think that I'll grant you a break now. It's time to go."

Gohan glanced over at the clock and, sure enough, it said 4:55. Definitely time to go. He stood up slowly. He was beginning to feel kind of heavy and low again. His meds were finally wearing off. That was another thing about this medication. Unlike the new prescription that only lasted an hour or two, this stuff lingered in his system. That was probably the only reason he had any left. That was a sad thought. He had only one dose left.

He looked at Lian and gave a small, tired smile. "I don't mind your company, Lian. You're a nice girl and much better company than anyone else around here."

She raised her chin imperiously. "Oh, there you go again, Mr. Gloomy." She smiled again and moved to get her purse and jacket. It was a baggy, beat up, brown suede jacket that looked strange over her pale, clean, tidy clothing. "Go on home, Angel. You look like you need some rest. I'll see you tomorrow. K?"

Gohan waved as she whisked out the door. She was a strange one, alright. He didn't know what to think of her still. It never occurred to him until after she was gone to say anything about the "Angel" thing. He thought about it and decided that it didn't really matter. It was different and kind of funny. He didn't mind if she felt like giving him a nickname. He'd never had one before. It was kind of...novel. He shrugged it away and headed home too.

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At home, Gohan didn't bother to turn on the lights. In fact, he was already struggling out of his shirt before he ever even got inside. He kicked the door closed and tossed the ruined button-up on the floor then started to struggle with the button of his jeans. As soon as they were undone, he dragged his tail out and let it swing in the open air with a sigh. The delicate muscles at the base had begun to cramp from being so restricted for so long and he just couldn't stand it anymore. He kicked off his shoes and then his pants, leaving them in a pile on the ground. Automatically, his boxerclad legs took him to the bathroom and he picked up the near empty bottle and tipped out the last pill. He stared at it forlornly and almost put it back, but just before it fell into the bottle, he changed his mind and set it on his tongue. He filled a glass with tap water and washed it down, looking at himself in the mirror with a guilty expression.

"I know, I know." He told his reflection. "I don't care."

His mood wasn't so bright and carefree anymore. He felt…annoyed. Annoyed at nothing and everything. And it was all his own fault. All Saiyaman's fault. What the hell had gotten into his head to create such an idiotic thing? A superhero? Ha! It had been a joke to everyone except him and the "bad guys" he annoyed. Foolish. Just plain stupid. He went to the bedroom and opened the top drawer of the dresser. There sat the watch that contained all of Saiyaman's secrets. He picked it up disgustedly as if it were some old, filthy rag. This was the source of so many of his problems right now…but then again, *he* did it so it wasn't really. *He* was the whole reason for all his problems. No one else. It was all his fault. Carefully, he opened up the watch face and found a tiny button there. He pushed it and what happened shocked him so much that he leaped back, slamming hard into the wall.

His Saiyaman outfit appeared, just as he knew it would, freed from the confines of the watch. The release button that ejected it still worked. Gohan hadn't used that button in a long time. Never needed to. He hardly wore the costume enough to need to clean it. It wasn't like he ever broke a sweat in it before. But…he'd forgotten…

The sharp stink of fresh blood flooded the room like a physical presence as the uniform and helmet fell to the ground. Gohan flung the watch away as if it had stung him. Blood. So much blood! It had kept fresh inside the capsule-watch with no air to decay it. His entire uniform was drenched in the sticky substance by now and it brought back that instant in the pharmacy as if it were happening all over again. Life-sized and in living-color. Gohan cried out as the muscles in his shoulder cramped up in remembrance of the ordeal. He sank to his knees against the wall, clutching at the cast and the flesh crawling beneath it. The room stank so badly of copper and salt and life fluid that Gohan felt like he couldn't breathe. Gasping, he raised his right hand and ki flared to existence, hot and unfeeling. He sent the energy to envelope the bloody cloth and the sizzling pop of burning blood made his stomach flip dangerously. Finally all that was left was a charred bit of carpet and the smell of carbon in the air.

Gohan stayed against the wall, fingering the cast. Slowly wild rage began to take over his features and his fingers slid into the crack that had grown larger and more prominent all day. They sank in and curled like claws as he tore it wider. Plaster crumbled to dust under his strong hand as he continued to rip and tear at the hard material. A hiss of pain would push past his lips here and there, but it did not change the determined, angry look in his eyes. Soon the remains of the cast lay scattered on the ground around him and his fingers traced the thick red lines that traversed his pale skin. The surgical cuts were healed already, he had healed fast they said. Now the new skin was red like some demented marker-drawn road map on his body. One scar traveled over his collar bone from his neck to the outside of his shoulder and partially down his bicep. There was another line that led down the back of his shoulder. But the largest scar was just short of his shoulder and interrupted both surgical scars. It was round and ugly and indented into the flesh where it hadn't healed as completely as the rest, even though a layer of skin had grown to cover the hole. The path of the bullet through bone and flesh and out the other side. It *had* entered at an angle just as the orderly said. It entered near his shoulder, but it exited three inches below his shoulder and four inches to the left of his spine. Gohan wondered only half interestedly how the bullet had missed the first of his ribs. That explained why his neck had been so stiff since it happened. The bullet had torn right through all the muscles on that side of his back.

Now that his arm was free, he tried to move it and found it tight and unwieldy. It didn't want to lower from where the cast had held it. Slowly, so slowly, he coaxed the muscles to stretch so that he could half lower it. With a sigh Gohan looked away from his ruined shoulder and over to the charred carpet. Nearby sat his helmet with bloody handprints on its pristine, white surface. He crawled over to it, looking at his own hand prints. Absently and with no real reason, he reached out and poked it like a glum kitten, remembering all too well that tile room and the pain and…

The helmet rolled and a clear plastic bottle with a white lid tipped out of it.

Gohan blinked and tilted his head to look questioningly at the container that rattled onto his carpet. He just stared at it for a minute then slowly reached out and picked it up, turning the bottle so that he could read the white label. He wasn't sure what the name meant, but it sounded familiar. He shook it as if he still couldn't believe it was real. It rattled suggestively at him. Still holding the bottle, Gohan leaned even further until his head brushed the carpet and he could see inside the dark opening of his helmet. There were…two more bottles inside. He merely stayed there, looking at the pills, not blinking, not breathing, trying to absorb what this meant.

He remembered when all those bottles had come raining down on his head….his helmet rolling across the floor as they did. He…had done what those little punks hadn't been able to do. He'd stolen from the pharmacy.

'Don't be stupid!' That little voice growled at him. 'You didn't even know they were there.' Slowly he reached out his good hand and took the other bottles from inside the helmet. They were all much larger than the bottles he had been prescribed. They each contained at least five hundred tablets. Still laying half on the ground, he lined the three bottles up in front of him and just looked at them.

'I should give them back.' He thought.
'I can't…they'll get suspicious. I don't need any more trouble.'
'They probably don't even know that these are gone.' He rationalized. 'It's been a month now anyway. They've replaced anything that was missing or contaminated by now. It would just complicate things to give these back. They probably wouldn't even take them back. They'd destroy them incase they'd been tampered with.'
'No sense in wasting it.' He abruptly laughed out loud at himself for that thought. "Heh, waste not, want not, right?" He said to no one in particular.

He sat up, gathered up the bottles, and stood slowly so as not to fall again. The last pill he took earlier had begun to kick in and he knew better than to move too fast when his heart had slowed down so much from laying so still. He went to his bathroom and set the bottles on the counter, picking up his old prescription. He put the empty container next to the first large bottle to compare names. Just as he thought. They were similar…but not the same. None of them had the same name as his second prescription which he had stuck into the medicine cabinet behind the mirror and left untouched.

The other two bottles were unknown to him, but then he had never been around people who were ever on much medication anyway so that was no surprise. He looked at the bottles, not really thinking about anything, just looking blankly. Then he went back to his comfy chair and dropped into it. His left arm was still very stiff so he reached over and grabbed a tall tv tray, knocking the junk off of it, and pulled it close so that he could rest his arm on it. It was the perfect height so as not to strain the muscles anymore. Gohan clicked on the tv and leaned the chair back, and for first time in weeks was able to find a comfortable position.

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It was some hours later when the demi awoke to a tight, twisting sensation and the sound of static on the tv. In the dark he groaned and curled up onto himself, the cramping of his stomach pulling him into bright consciousness. He reached for his middle with both hands, only barely registering the tight pull on his left arm. His stomach felt like it had decided to eat itself. When was it that he ate last, he wondered. As it was, he couldn't quite remember. 'Sometime…yesterday? Ah, no wonder. Guess I've been really preoccupied with work lately.'

"Jeez… Alright, alright already! I know!" He grumbled at his growling middle and climbed out of the chair. He stumbled and almost fell on his way to the table, but caught himself and slumped into a wooden chair. He rustled through the paper and junk on the table, looking for the credit card that he knew he left out since the last time he used it.

"It was around here somewhere…Ha! There you are!" He held it up triumphantly and then had to search for the phone. "Stupid mess…" He growled in annoyance, deciding that it was high time he did something about it again. Once he found the phone, he called up a twenty-four hour take-out restaurant, since he didn't have a clue what time it was, and then busied himself staggering around the apartment and filling up his trashcans again. He had to admit, it felt good to move and he was starting to get a little antsy. That's what this stuff did to him sometimes. Usually it just made him relax and not give a damn and slowed things way down, but sometimes it also made him want to go out and do…something! Anything. Just move around.

A short time later, there came a knock at the door and Gohan slid fluidly over to open it. With a relieved smile he grabbed the box of Chinese take-out containers from the boy and was about to shut the door.

"Hey, dude! Where's my tip?" The kid snapped. He couldn't have been more than sixteen.

Gohan paused and blinked slowly at him. He didn't have any money. That's why he'd used a credit card. 'Stupid kid… Little egomaniac in the making…'

Gohan suddenly leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered so low that the kid had to lean forward to hear him. He looked the kid in the eyes, his own wide and shining. "Watch out for the black thing that's hiding in the shadows, kid. Run if you see it move." And then he slammed the door shut in the kid's face, laughing as he sat in his chair again and set the food on the coffee table, but he couldn't quite stop himself from inspecting the dark room once just to make sure his joke really was a joke. His arm was beginning to hurt with sharp stabbing pains no matter how he angled it and it distracted him from his momentary paranoia.

He sat for a moment, pondering, then glanced at the bathroom door. At length, he stood up and slowly walked to the little room. When he got there, he flicked on the light and looked at the line of bottles. After yet another moment, he reached down and hefted the first bottle and the pills rattled obnoxiously loudly. He still wasn't sure. He didn't know what this stuff was. What if it was meant for something specific? What if it would cause something bad? What if it did nothing at all?

A sudden, sharp pain ran the length of his arm and he winced. 'Well… There's really only one way to find out, isn't there?' He asked himself. Opening the bottle, he took one pill. Just one. And went back to eat and find something still playing on tv.

Despite how his stomach grumbled, he ate slowly, caught up in a late night showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He'd never seen it before and it was really strange. It was the sort of thing that his mother would scream about and his dad would be totally perplexed at. Gohan himself was pretty perplexed. But it was interesting and it was somehow satisfyingly dark and…just a little off. It was kinda cool to see something *else* that was 'just a little off' too. And it was funny.

It was when he started laughing and couldn't stop that he realized he was stretched out on the floor in front of the tv with a take-out container in his hand. He must have laughed for five minutes because the movie had gone on without him and his lungs ached when he finally calmed down. 'Whoa.' He thought. That hurt…but it felt good. It felt good to really laugh, not just laugh at some stupid kid or some idiot jock, but to really laugh because something was just plain funny. Gohan knew he had very little sense of humor. 'Mom's fault.' Said that quiet voice. "She gave me her non-existent sense of humor." It felt good to let loose. He felt so good.

He watched the movie to the end and managed to keep his laughing fits down to a minimum so that he didn't miss too much. 'Imagine that, a movie where everyone is in drag lingerie.' He laughed again. "And they don't look half bad either." He finished out loud, still laying on the carpet.

When the movie was over, Gohan roused himself and threw away the empty food containers. He found that he had much more balance now that the last of his prescription was wearing off. But he could feel this new stuff beginning to wear off too. Yet another med that his body metabolized way too fast, but at least this one worked while it lasted. 'I can live with this.'

He slouched into his chair and wrapped a blanket around himself and was fast asleep in seconds and he had no nightmares.

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The next two days at work were a blur, but a pleasant one. He took his new bottle with him, keeping it safely out of sight in a jacket pocket. He took it because the doses only lasted a few hours at best before the world and his arm caught up with him. As long as he had it, he felt great. He was still pretty slow and calm, but now he saw things in a much better light as if everything just slid off of him. Just like way back when he'd been on that morphine in the hospital. Maybe not *that* good, but it was similar.

He didn't have any problems with his coworkers or the work they stuck on him. He couldn't remember doing any of it, but it obviously got done. He wasn't falling asleep as much with this new stuff, though he still did if he was left alone with nothing to concentrate on. And he was able to enjoy and laugh at even the worst of jokes that his coworkers would tell. Things weren't so bad at all. People would come in and pat him on the back or squeeze his good shoulder and he didn't even mind that. He used to hate it when his workmates would get that close or personal. He even noticed the touches with his last medication, it just had been easier not to care so he hadn't. Now, it just slid right off without bothering him at all. It was even...kinda nice because sometimes he would zone out and not hear anyone speaking to him until he felt a touch on his arm or something.

He enjoyed Lian's company too. She was just as perky and hyper as ever, but he didn't mind. She was fun to watch if anything. Everyone wanted to know how his arm was now that the cast was off and he shrugged, still only able to shrug one shoulder, and said it still hurt and was still stiff but was pretty ok otherwise. It was slowly loosening the more he used it and the crawling feeling had lessened, though it flared up ever so often to drive him nuts because he couldn't scratch the source. There were a couple of times that Lian came by while he was dosing and she would look curious, but she didn't say anything. He was dosing about every two hours or so to keep the pain away. It was to keep his shoulder from feeling those sharp pains. They made him lose his temper and snap at people so it was in everyone's best interest for him to keep them at bay. So he made sure he kept up a good time pattern. He didn't want to snap at people and be insufferable to work with...he wanted...calm bliss... It was better all around for his coworkers. He did it for them. Really.

It was Thursday when Lian finally commented on his dosing. He had been in great spirits and had realized yet again the he'd forgotten to eat. How even a demi-Saiyan could ever accomplish such a feat was beyond him, but he had. So he offered to take Lian out to lunch and she happily accepted. While they were out, he could feel the effects wearing off again and didn't think twice about taking out his bottle and tipping out two pills.

Lian grinned at him conspiratorially. "Keeping up on our happy pills, are we?"

Gohan smiled back and chuckled. "Yup." That was his only response as he made the bottle disappear and then tossed the pills into the air and caught them on his tongue as if they were candy.

Lian laughed and clinked her glass with his as if cheering him on. Gohan liked her. She was definitely cool. He felt relaxed around her. Like…they had common ground…though…they really were nothing alike. It was strange. But he liked her nonetheless.

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It was the next day, Friday, and Gohan actually went searching around the office for Lian. They'd had fun the other day and the demi figured it was a good idea to keep having a reason to eat since, for some reason, he wasn't hungry at all. He knew that he probably should eat before he forgot to again. He finally found Lian. She seemed a little ruffled today. Not quite as relaxed as usual, not quite as energetic and hyper. In fact, she was strangely mellow. She leapt on the idea of lunch, though.

They sat quietly, waiting for their food and Gohan decided to take this moment to take his meds again since it took longer for them to take effect when he had a full stomach. When he looked up, he saw Lian fish a bag from her jacket pocket and recover a pill of her own. She caught him looking and flashed him a slightly strained smile.

"Can't let you drink alone today, can I?" She said with a laugh and popped the pill into her mouth, drinking it down with her water. Gohan did the same and felt her hand on his as he put down his glass. "What is that stuff you have, anyway?"

Gohan hedged for just a second and then gave his lopsided shrug. "I dunno, actually. I just take it." He answered evasively.

"Can I see?" Her bright blue eyes were so big and so curious that he finally just laughed and handed over the bottle for her inspection.

The took it in both hands and scanned the label, her large eyes growing even larger. "This…this is some really strong stuff…where did you get it??"

Gohan hedged a little more, suddenly regretting letting her see it. "Uh…" He pretended innocence. His dad was so good at it, maybe he'd passed it on through the family gene pool. "The pharmacy?"

She smirked at him and shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Do you know how much some people would give to have just a little of this? And you've got so much. And the way you take it…like it's nothing." She looked at him in awe which confused him again.

"Er…well… Stuff doesn't affect me like it does other people… I…guess I've got what you'd call a heightened metabolism." He laughed nervously.

The food came and they were both quiet as they ate. When it came time to leave, Gohan paid and Lian led the way outside where she stopped and looked around before turning to head back to the office. She glanced up at him a few times and he wasn't sure what to make of the look she was giving him.

"What?" He finally asked when she glanced at him for the fifth time.

"I was just thinking…wondering… Some people I know are having a little party tonight. They do every weekend. Sometimes during the week too." She added the last as if it were an afterthought. "Maybe…you wanna come?"

That took the demi by surprise. He blushed and scratched his head thoughtfully. He'd never been invited *personally* to a college party before and he'd been here a long time. Usually it was Videl or Erasa who was invited and they would drag him along. This was a first for him. *And* he was being invited by a pretty girl that he actually liked being around and was comfortable with. It was a wholly new situation.

"Uh…a party? Um…I'm not exactly party material. I'm not good at socializing." He warned her. It was best to get his worst assets out in the open so that everyone knew just what they were getting.

She shook her head. "Oh, no, this isn't that kind of party. It's really laid back. You don't have to socialize if you don't want to. It's a private thing. Only certain people are invited so…it would just be you and me…and some others who always come too. Everybody is really relaxed. As long as you're cool, they are too."

Gohan blinked and thought about it. It sounded ok and he didn't *have* to socialize. "Um…yeah…sure. If you're inviting me, I'll go. Why not?"

She smiled. "Remember, it's a private party. Only certain people get to be invited. We don't want just anybody showing up or the whole thing gets ruined. K?"

Gohan chuckled and placed his right hand over his heart. "I promise. I won't go telling the world. Lately I haven't been talking to anybody but you anyway." He admitted. This weekend would most likely entail him…sleeping…or chasing off some worried family member. Or Videl. He could use a little distraction before that happened. "So, where is it?"

Lian shrugged. "How about I take you after work? We can stop at our places to change and head over."

"Ok. Cool."

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