Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Inside Tetheus's Head ❯ Beware! Mary Sue ( Chapter 5 )

Okay, I have a few more ideas. A lot more actually. Just when I thought that I'd run out, a chapter goes and gives me more seeds than it uses.

This chapter is still based on one of my original ideas. Hopefully, next week I'll get to the last one, which is all about Alfeegi. Well, actually, now I think about it, Alfeegi won't be in it much, but he's vital for the plot thread.

Warning, a creature known as Mary Sue arrives in this chapter, but she doesn't last, in case you're worried.

As before italics are Tetheus's thoughts and he's not the only pervert in the castle, just the biggest one.

Ruwalk smiles as he wanders through Castle. It's rare to find the place so empty and for him to have some space to himself. There's usually someone running up asking him to sign things, for his opinion on something or telling him about an interesting happening and would he like to go? The sound of silence echoes through the ancient halls and the scent of...of...mmm? Ruwalk notices that flowers have been freshly placed in the vases outside Alfeegi's study. He leans over and tastes their perfume. Heavenly.

Suddenly, a pair of hands snake out from a nearby alcove and wrap themselves around him. One of the hands covers his mouth and not even the barest mumble can get through its air-tight seal. Ruwalk tries to raise his arms to free his mouth but finds them bound by the arm that is twined around his torso and that is now dragging him back toward that shady hollow. The smooth floor that's so good for sliding down in socks offers no purchase and Ruwalk is unable to do anything to keep himself in the light.

Finally he is swallowed up by the darkness and he assesses the one that holds him. He's towered over by this figure and as he is held ever more tightly, a familiar scent makes its way up his nose. A scent that brings back memories that he's tried so hard to forget. Ruwalk struggles madly. But the grip that holds him is iron and doesn't waver. As he begins to lose hope, he feels the breath of the one holding him travel from the top of his head down towards his ear. Ruwalk shivers, but knows that his fight is lost. He awaits his captor's next move, frustrated, scared (and secretly excited).

"Listen." The voice is quiet and Ruwalk realises that the arms haven't moved at all. They've not sought to caress him or stimulate him. Curious, he does as the voice asks and finally notices the most dreaded sound in the Dragon Castle. Recognising the deathly tremble that travels up Ruwalk's spine, he is released by his captor. Slowly Ruwalk turns around, mouthing the dreaded words. "Mary Sue?"

Tetheus nods, Alfeegi holds his finger up to his lips and the crowd of Dragon Fighters who are also squeezed into the alcove look more scared than ever.

The sound that has them all trapped gets louder and louder. Finally the volume is raised to the point where words can be made out of the indistinct mumble.

"Mary Sue slowly continues her melancholy ramble through the Dragon Castle. Her heart, heavy with the weight of her personal tragedy, seeks to return to the earth that gave it birth and it is all she can do to put one foot in front of the other and keep her head facing the light. The light which is outside, strongly represented in these candles here."

Mary Sue examines a candle sconce nearby and sighs deeply. She does not choose to enlighten us as to what memories these items represent. Her monologue continues just when the dragons figured that the dramatic pause might last all day.

"Mary Sue, so unhappy in these halls, which should be the source of great joy, now that she is finally reunited with her own kind having been tortured by yokai for almost the entirety of her young life. Just when everything seemed to finally have turned around for Mary Sue, she made a number of impossible choices. Ooh!"

Mary Sue turns to the side as the pain of her latest personal tragedy grows too hard for her to bear. A few choked sobs emerge from her and the dragons wonder how long she'll be camped outside Alfeegi's study. As Dragon Officers, the fighters have given as much room as possible to Alfeegi, Tetheus and Ruwalk, but as a result their legs are starting to buckle from the cramp and if she doesn't move on soon, their hiding place will be given away. Tetheus glares at the fighters whimpering behind him. The open threat here is that the first fighter to give away their position to Mary Sue will be assigned as her personal body guard. No-one will move.

"Mary Sue's tragedy has changed from hideous torture at the hands of yokai beasts to emotional torture at the hands of the dragon officers."

Tetheus, Ruwalk and Alfeegi exchange furious glances. Who's the one at fault here? Who's given Mary Sue yet another bone to chew? The intense silent debate is halted as Mary Sue starts to speak again. Despite themselves, they listen in to her numbing, self-pitying, self-absorbed, stream of consciousness.

"Mary Sue is tortured by the emotional fallout of her torrid affair with Tetheus."

All eyes turn to Tetheus.
"A torrid love affair?" Alfeegi hisses.
"I was drunk. Remember the Christmas party?"
"Yeah, she was like, totally haunting the mistletoe." This came from one of the Dragon Fighters.
"Ssh, she'll hear us!"

Everyone calms down as Mary Sue opens her mouth again.

"And Alfeegi."

Alfeegi raises his hands and opens his mouth over and over. Finally he blushes and whispers, "what Tetheus said. I was drunk."
Tetheus catches Ruwalk's eye while Alfeegi's still embarrassed and indicates the top pocket of his jacket. Ruwalk gets the reference to Alfeegi's pills and nods.

Mary Sue is standing quietly, holding herself in her arms and sighing in a happy manner. Looking up, she sees the door to Alfeegi's study and strokes it affectionately.

Alfeegi blushes again. He whispers softly, "really drunk."

"Oh Alfeegi. This is the site of our many happy times together. But I never told you that my heart was captured by another. I played with your emotions, gaining your total and devoted love, yet I deceived you so cruelly." Mary Sue sighs dramatically and holds a weary wrist up to her fevered brow. "I am truly a useless and unworthy person. For the one I truly exist for, the one that I have sworn my soul to, the one I am destined to be with, is Ruwalk."

Ruwalk's reaction is contained by Tetheus and all that emerges is a faint squeak. Luckily this is ignored by Mary Sue, despite her keen hearing. At the moment, she is too busy clasping her under-developed bosom and shaking her limp brown hair.

"Oh Ruwalk, all of my actions, all of my faults, can you forgive them? I have kissed other men, more than once."

Alfeegi coughs "once" and "drunk" before the dragon fighters silence him, their fear overcoming their respect for the office of White Dragon Officer.

"And worst of all, I have also promised to marry Kai-Stern when he returns from his latest trip. How can our love survive this, let alone grow and prosper. How can we be together when I am the wife of your best friend?"

Mary Sue poses dramatically, her keen eyes peering into the gloom and expertly making out every single detail in all the dark and gloomy hollows, except for the three dragon officers and six dragon fighters holed up in the alcove directly across from her.

The bell tolls from the main clock and reverberates down the corridor. Mary Sue applies her best startled bunny impression and returns to her monologue.

"Oh no. It is now seven o'clock and I must leave..."
Sigh of relief
"...and go to the quarters of the Dragonlord. For I, Mary Sue, have sworn to bear his love-child and provide an heir for the Dragon Kingdom!"

On this dramatic note, Mary Sue sweeps out of the scene. The dragons slowly emerge from the hollow, giving themselves enough time to ensure that she is really gone and not simply planning some sort of dramatic return.

"So that's why Kai-Stern's not been around for the past few weeks."
"Tetheus. It's been six months!" Ruwalk's shocked that Tetheus has underestimated the amount of time the Foreign Secretary's been missing.
"Really? That long?."
Alfeegi shakes his head. "She must have really put the fear into that poor guy."
Tetheus snorts at Alfeegi. "Can you imagine it? Being married to Mary Sue? I doubt we'll ever see him again."
Ruwalk's been thoughtful during the last few comments. "Someone will have to tell the Dragonlord. If this is why Kai-Stern hasn't been touching base with us, he needs to know."
"Do you think he'll sort Mary Sue out?"
"Kai-Stern's not touched base in six months?" Alfeegi's starting to shake. "Imagine how much money he's spent in SIX WHOLE MONTHS!"
"'Feegi, he hasn't been home in six months. He hasn't picked up any cash."
"He's got a line of credit in at least three cities on Dusis. I've had to pay off his creditors before. Curse you Kai-Stern! Mary Sue's only here because she's waiting for you to come home."
"And because Ruwalk is her one true love." Tetheus thoughtfully points that last bit out. Everyone eyes the lucky Ruwalk who looks incredibly uncomfortable.
"Hey, if she likes you, why hasn't she gone for you yet?"
"If she was happy with Ruwalk, then it wouldn't be tragic."

Everyone nods in agreement. One of the Dragon Fighters looks a little upset and is being comforted by a friend.

"She never mentioned me at all."

Everyone stares at him. He looks up, unused to the attention when the Dragon Officers are nearby.

"It's just that she's had such a terrible life. She told me all about it the very first time we met. I was so touched by her open-ness, even before I'd introduced myself. I'm so impressed by her. The way she's managed to overcome her personal tragedy is so inspiring!"

This wide-eyed young and impressionable dragon has his support removed as his friend, along with the other dragons, fears catching the Mary Sue cooties from him. I wonder if this sickness is catching. Maybe we should put him down and burn the corpse just in case. One of the fighters speaks.

"It's okay. He's just gullible. He believes that Thatz plays with fair dice."

Mental note. Play poker with this guy when I need to finance my next trip to the red light district of Zulebigga.

Alfeegi freezes. "Wait! She's gone to the Dragonlord's quarters. He's still not home yet, right? That means that she could be back soon!"

The dragons prepare to flee before the gullible one speaks up.

"I don't know. She's been right about this sort of thing before."
Nods and general agreement arises from the Dragon Fighters.
"Yeah, she seems to have some sort of weird sixth sense about plot developments like these. Remember when Enther was poisoned by that snake and then she was just walking past with the antidote?"
"I dunno dude. There was a rumour going around that she'd been seen carrying a bag of snakes in the garden, just before Enther was bitten."
"How could you tell what was in the bag? That's nonsense."
"No dude, it was like all wriggling, I swear."
"You saw it yourself?"
"No dude, but my sources are good."

While the Dragon Fighters continue their bickering about the supposed psychic abilities of Mary Sue, the Dragon Officers step aside to discuss Lord Lykouleon.

"Do you think he could be back?"
"Is it worth risking meeting Mary Sue?"
Alfeegi squishes his lips together. "I've got my lecture finished and polished off."
Tetheus looks at Ruwalk, Ruwalk looks at Alfeegi and Alfeegi looks at Tetheus.
"Do we risk it?"
Ruwalk nods. "We should. We have a duty to the Lord and that is greater than the danger posed by Mary Sue."
"Agreed."
"Agreed."

The three sigh and place their hands, one on the shoulder of each of the other two Officers. They draw a deep breath together and turn to the direction that Mary Sue disappeared in. Huddled together for comfort they nervously follow her trail, half-expecting the girl to jump out at them as they approach the quarters of the Dragonlord. The comforting and homely halls of the castle have never been so eerie and unwelcoming. They finally arrive at the Dragonlord's rooms and Tetheus pushes Alfeegi forward.

"You knock."
He turns to Tetheus in horror.
"You knock!"
"You're closer."
"That's a stupid argument!"
"Just knock Alfeegi! What if we've gotten here before Mary Sue?"

Ruwalk's point is taken by Alfeegi and he raises his fist to the door and knocks loudly.

What the? Tetheus notices the empty space beside him before Alfeegi. The sound of Ruwalk's racing footsteps echo once or twice, before Tetheus cops on enough to follow him. Unfortunately, Alfeegi grabs Tetheus, wanting at least one of his fellow dragon officers to face Mary Sue beside him. Brilliant idea! Why didn't I follow sooner? Dammit. I'm as much of a dupe as Alfeegi.

The door opens slowly and Alfeegi grabs onto Tetheus, who stands there impassive. One times one is one. One times two is two...Wait...Six times one is six. Six times two is twelve. Six times three is eighteen. Six times....Lykouleon?

Indeed the Dragonlord is home and no sign of Mary Sue preparing to conceive his heir from what I can see from here.

"Alfeegi? Tetheus?"
"Welcome home my lord."
"Is uh, Mary Sue there? She said she was coming this way?" Alfeegi's smile is rigid and fixed and doesn't look like moving.
"Are you actually looking for Mary Sue?"
"No sir, for you. Welcome home. I just worried that we were interrupting the two of you and we had no wish to do that. I can come back later, to give you my speech." Alfeegi turns to go, but Lykouleon's next words freeze him in place.
"Mary Sue was here. She told me a long and tragic tale, full of torrid affairs," he looks at both Alfeegi and Tetheus sternly, "true love," a cough down the passage betrays the presence of Ruwalk, "marriage, and a horrifying personal tragedy." Finally he looks discomfited. "She also told me a number of other things that I do not want repeated ever." Not ready for Mary Sue's love, Lykouleon?
"Then she's not actually going to produce the next heir to the Dragon Kingdom?" Alfeegi breathes a sign of relief. "Oh thank goodness. Can you imagine what her offspring would be like?"
"Alfeegi!" Lykouleon looks angry.
"Yes my lord?"
He's surprised. So am I. What's got the Dragonlord so riled up? Maybe he did it with her. Eeeww. Gross mental image. Think happy thoughts. Ruwalk naked, Ruwalk naked. Ruwalk naked with Kai-Stern, and me and the Dragonlord watching. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
"Alfeegi, Mary Sue is a sick little girl. She needs help, not encouragement."
"And so?" Alfeegi can't stop the natural smile that is forming on his face, even Ruwalk comes out of hiding to better hear the words of the Dragonlord. Are we finally going to be rid of the curse of Mary Sue?
"I'm sending her somewhere that she can be helped. It's a quiet home for the differently sane."
"You're sending her away?"
"Although I am not direct family, my position as the Dragonlord gives me a certain amount of influence. The Matron of the Facility, Maneat Gwitch, has accepted my letter of referral and is looking forward to meeting her."
"Where's the home?" I certainly want to avoid that spot whenever possible.
"Oh, it's a quiet, secluded place, far from civilisation and those tragedy-causing triggers. I believe it's somewhere called the Misty Valley."
"Misty Valley. Sounds nice. Maybe we could visit her occasionally." Alfeegi. Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good resolution like this?
Lykouleon turns to Alfeegi. "Uh, no. No. Ahem. Until she gets better, over her addiction to tragedy and drama, it's best that she not meet anyone from the castle. Ever again. It's written in my note." He turns to Tetheus. "Inform the castle and all the Dragon Fighters to stay away from the Misty Valley. We wouldn't want to cause a relapse in Mary Sue. After all."
"Do you think she can be helped?" Ruwalk's grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh I'm sure of it. It may take two or three thousand years, but one day Mary Sue will rejoin the world as a fully functional human being. Although, she won't be welcome here. In case of relapse of course."
Yay Lykouleon. You're the man. Hmm, a celebration is in order. I'm sure that everyone wants to get really drunk. Oh, Ruwalk looks thoughtful.
"I didn't realise that I had that sort of power, when you're away of course, Lykouleon."
"It's an emergency power for extreme situations only."
"Of course."
I don't like the way he's looking at me.
"Well, since all of that's dealt with," Alfeegi puffs himself up and firmly marches into the Dragonlord's room. "There's the small matter of where you've been for the past three weeks!"
*mental groan* Couldn't you have waited until after the piss-up Alfeegi? Or better yet, during.

Ruwalk pushes Tetheus inside and whispers to him. "Come on, let him be. He's been working on this speech for three weeks remember? And once it's over, the Dragonlord is really going to want to party.
Does this mean that you're returning to the demon drink Ruwalk? Hmm, maybe I will stay after all.

Okay, so not too much of this episode was set inside Tetheus's head. My excuse is that this is one of the side-effects of Mary Sue. The fear drove conscious thought even from the mind of Tetheus.

Why is this story so easy to write for?

Anyway, I was talking with a friend about his chapter and I realised that Jasmine from Angel is a Mary Sue. Think about it. She turns up and everyone falls instantly in love with her. They all start acting completely out of character. Also, they start hating one of the main female characters. As well as that, Jasmine is insanely over-powerful.

Oh and all she wants is universal peace, love and harmony. As soon as her spell is broken, they seek to destroy her, because Angel wouldn't be any good if they didn't have their angst.

Oh and finally, Mary Sue will not turn into Cesia. Although it would explain why she's part yokai, part human, part elf and has dragoneyes.