Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Twenty Themes ❯ Innocence ( Chapter 7 )

Warnings: Rath, Kai-Stern, and wanting to be older. Implied shonen-ai.
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Innocence is strange, as it's only defined by what's lacking - knowledge, experience, dirty thoughts. Innocence is a blank slate - a stage of not knowing. Innocents are regarded for their purity and made fun of for their naivety. They should be boring and blank, like a doll with undrawn features or a pile of mud that's yet to be sculpted into art or delph, but innocents seem happy. None of their potential has been washed away. None of their personality has been cast in the fire. Innocents can still be anything they want.

"Innocent," said Rath, "is just another word for stupid."

Kai-Stern looked up from his book and smiled, but said nothing. The garden alcove was a good place to talk privately and Rath often sought him out there, when something was bothering the young dragon.

"Innocents blunder into everything, ask 'what's that?', pull at a drawer and are suddenly covered in muck. Then they're no longer innocent: they're bold." Rath folded his arms and leaned his shoulder against a nearby pillar. He glared into the garden, scanning it carefully before talking again. "When someone says 'You're innocent', they mean: 'I'm much smarter than you'. They mean: 'You can't be trusted'. They mean: 'This is too much fun for the likes of you'."

As he spoke, his gaze rolled around to Kai-Stern who buried his face in his book.

"What's the opposite of innocent?" he asked. "Is it nothing? To match the essential state of innocence?"

"Innocent has many meanings," answered Kai-Stern, firmly looking down. "So there are many opposites, but all of them have one thing in common: they regret not being innocent."

Rath snorted. "Indeed, in every fight with a demon, how I wish that I was innocent of how to use my sword."

Kai-Stern laughed gently and looked up. "How would you feel if you didn't have to - if you didn't feel the urge to kill and cover your hands in blood - if you didn't want to be hit in return?"

"Then someone else would have to fight and they'd die in my place," he answered with a shrug.

The sides of Kai-Stern's mouth turned down and it took a moment for him to speak again. "Don't you mean, 'they'd kill in my place'?"

Rath dismissed him with a wave of his hands. "You know what I meant. That's not the only thing that annoys me either."

The light didn't quite return to the white-haired dragon as he attempted a softer tone. "And what has joined the very long list of things that annoy you?"

Rath suddenly leered at his friend and while Kai-Stern blinked he lowered himself to the ground. Twitching his lips, he crawled sinuously along the dusty stone until he reached Kai-Stern's nose and leaning in, whispered, "Everyone's acting oddly: Raseleane and Lykouleon, Alfeegi and Ruwalk, Thatz and Rune, they're all doing stuff like this. Of course, when I ask what's hit them in the brain they shuffle off and if they're pressed they say that I wouldn't understand because I'm too innocent."

A small flower, somehow making a life for itself poking through the cracks of the wall above their heads, wilted in the heat coming from Kai-Stern.

"Well," he coughed. "Ahem! Yes, well, when you go through... when you grow up... there's a physical... you'll understand when you're older."

Rath leaned in closer and hissed, "I am older."

"Okay yes, well, how do I explain then?" Kai-Stern breathed in deeply, the musky scent of Rath particularly strong right then. "It's love. That's it."

"Love?" snapped Rath.

Kai-Stern put down his book and moved away from Rath. His hands flickered out in complicated gestures as stood up, then sat back down again. "One day, you'll find yourself... thinking about another person."

Rath waited, sitting in the spot Kai-Stern had vacated.

"You won't be thinking about stupid things they've done, or something that you've planned together or something you want to talk to them about... you'll just be thinking about them. When that happens: you're in love."

"What about the weird stuff?" Rath ran his hands up and down his body, then turned his back on Kai-Stern before looking over his shoulder and pressing his lips into a pout.

"Yes, well, that happens when you find out that they think about you too. Lots of weird things happen when you find out that someone loves you."

"I love you," said Rath, shuffling up to Kai-Stern and putting his arms around him.

Kai-Stern petted him and smiled. "You won't understand until you experience it yourself, Rath. That's when all the weird stuff will make sense. What you feel for me is a different kind of love."

He held Rath for a while, before Alfeegi's call roused him and he retrieved his book and said goodbye. Rath watched him go.

"A different kind of love? Kai-Stern, sometimes I think that you're the innocent one here."