El Hazard Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Book of Otaku ❯ One-Shot

Kaori: I am so going to Hell for this…

Ayamachi: Just this? I'm pretty sure you should be going to Hell for more than just this.

Kaori: -_- Oh shut up…

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this fanfic.

The Book of Otaku

By Kaori

Various anime characters are gathered in a cathedral of sorts. For no reason other than the way he dresses, Duo is at the pulpit.

Duo: [clears his throat] A reading from the book of Otaku, Chapter One, Verses one through nine. In the beginning, there was the Internet and there was anime, and they were good. However, they remained separate and this was not so good,

Seto Kaiba: That's a matter of opinion.

Duo: …so the otaku said, "Let there be fanfiction!" And behold, it was so and it was deemed good.

Seto: Again, matter of opinion.

Yugi: Hey, fanfics aren't so bad.

Seto: Easy for you to say! The authors never write bad things about you.

Yugi: That's not true…

Seto: Name one fanfic where you've been bashed.

Yugi: [blinks] Umm…

Seto: Proved my point.

Duo: Soon it came to pass that parodies, song-fics, and hentai fics came to be, and otaku everywhere rejoiced.

Ryoko: Not to mention some anime characters [grin].

Duo: And there was angst and there were crossovers, and the otakus deemed it all good.

Momiji Fujimiya: If you ask me, there's a little too much angst.

Sakura Yamazaki: Nobody asked you, Sacrifice Girl!

Mamoru Kusinagi: Don't you talk to her like that, you schizophrenic bimbo!

Duo: [rolls his eyes] Then one day, after watching FAKE nonstop for a week, some otakus created Adam and Steve, the yaoi fanfiction fairies; after them were created Bunny and Barbie, the yuri fanfiction fairies.

Alielle and Princess Fatora: [cheer from their spots in the choir]

Duo: The fairies caused much havoc throughout otakudom and were the cause of what is now known as the Great Dividing War. And there was flaming

Dilandau: BURN!!!!

Duo: …and there was quarreling and we all agree that this was an unhealthy waste of time.

All: Amen!

Duo: The bickering was put aside, however, following the creation of something that would change fanfiction forever… Mary Sue and Billy Joe. The otaku put aside their differences to stop the menace but it was too late and now the otaku are stuck with them. To prevent any more from being created, the otaku came up with this commandment: "Thou shalt not create characters with no personality flaws."

Bulma: *snickers and pokes Vegeta*

Duo: At last, the weary veterans of the Great Dividing War put aside their differences and agreed to leave each other alone. It was also decided that anyone who tried to start, or participated in a flame war was to be ignore by everyone else and be allowed to waste their time so that another big flame war could be avoided. This is the word of the Otaku.

All: Praise be to the Otaku!