El Hazard Fan Fiction ❯ How Fatora Stole Christmas (and Shayla-Shayla) ❯ One-Shot

El Hazard is the property of Pioneer/AIC

"How the Grinch Stole Christmas" is the property of the estate of Dr. Seuss

Thanks to WillZ and Sethra for prereading and/or suggestions.

Merry Christmas everyone!

- Taloon - December 21, 2001

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How Fatora Stole Christmas (and Shayla-Shayla)



All the women in Roshtaria loved men a lot

But Fatora, who lived on Mount Muldoon...
Did NOT

Fatora hated men! The tall and the small.
To her they had absolutely no use at all!
For what reason you ask? Perhaps she skipped lunch
Or maybe her panties were all in a bunch
Maybe someone shoved red-hot pokers into her ears
And most of all she hadn't been laid in 3000 years!

Whatever the reason, her panties or ears,
The situation down there displayed her worst fears.
All the women in Roshtaria chased after a man
Especially the girl with a really nice tan.
Shayla they called her, with hair flaming red
"I can't wait," said Fatora, "to get her into my bed!"

But she needed a plot, she needed a plan
And it seemed that Christmas was almost at hand.
"That's it," she cried out "I'll dress as St. Nick!"
"Then bring her back here, oh what a devilish trick!"
"I'll climb a window, quiet as a mouse"
"And steal all their stockings and presents to revamp my house!"
"Then I'll bind Shayla with rope, tied nice and tight"
"And off I will go, into the night!"

Fatora laughed madly and found Ura, her cat
Then quickly made a makeshift Santa coat and hat.
Attaching the cat to an old beat up sleigh
She packed a bag and a rope, then went on her way.
Down the mountain she flew, a grin on her face
"Faster!" she called "There's not a moment to waste!"

"I'll have fun tonight!" she did so proclaim
And after a short while, to the palace they came.
Up the side of the wall she climbed with great skill
A window was found and she climbed onto the sill.

Up to the fireplace she tiptoed with glee
She admired the stockings, and the ten-foot tall tree.
Opening her sack, she went right to work
And gathered her booty with a festive smirk.
She found gifts in every cranny and nook
Miz got a riding crop, Afura, a big book.
Sake for Shayla, and for Rune, a new sock.
Gold for Nanami, and Makoto, a pet rock.
After filling the stockings and boxes with coal
Fatora went off to achieve her real goal.

All the Priestesses were all warm and snug in their beds
While visions of men danced through heads
But Fatora lurked outside their rooms, her eyes filled with lust
If she woke them right then, she would have been dust
She looked in each room, to find the right one
The redheaded priestess was second to none!

Entering her room, with silk rope in hand
Fatora bound her hands tight just like she planned.
Shayla struggled and screamed, but to no avail
With a gag, and more rope, Fatora would not fail.

With her prey in her arms, she walked out the door
And bumped into someone, knocking her to the floor.
"Who are you?" Fatora asked, as she got to her feet.
A cute girl stood there, and her heart skipped a beat.

"My name is Alielle," the young girl replied.
"Hey, you're cute!" Fatora said, her eyes open wide.
"Why are you taking Shayla?" asked the girl, with a questioning glance.
"Why, I'm lonely up on the mountain, no chance for romance."

"You can stay with me," said Alielle, "I like you a lot!"
Fatora was shocked, "Someone likes me?" she thought.
She hugged the girl, and smiled, and agreed to stay
And she promised the girl that she would never go away.

The next day, the presents were returned, well, all but one
And the two new friends had a good deal of fun.
It is said that Fatora's life started anew
For not only did Christmas come this year, Fatora did too!
Omake:

Shayla: Someone untie me! And stop having sex on my bed!
Alielle: Oh Fatora! That's the spot!
Fatora: Mmm... hey, aren't I forgetting something?
Alielle: Hold on a second... *buzzing sound*
Fatora: Ah, excellent!
Shayla: Hey! Put Makoto-chan back in the drawer! *sob*
Alielle: Would that be our friend Makoto?
Shayla: Um...
Alielle: Or Makoto Kino from Sailor Moon?
Shayla: Wait, I..
Alielle: If it's the second, I'm sure I can scrounge up a sailor fuku for Fatora to wear.
Shayla: Fu.. fuku?
Fatora: I look great in a skirt!
Ifurita: *dressed in a kawaii elf outfit* Excuse me? My Master told me to steal Christmas, but I'm not sure what that is. Err, what are you doing? And why is Miss Fiery Lady tied up?
Fatora: We're playing a game, come over and join us!
Ifurita: Ooh, I like games! *steps on Shayla and bounds over to the bed*
Shayla: Ow... why me?