Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Finding One's Way ❯ Denial ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Finding One's Way
Author:  Daxemon

Fandom:  Fake (yaoi)
Pairing/Characters: Drake/JJ

Rating:  Still pretty tame by other fics standards.
Warnings:  Nothing to bad.
Disclaimer:  I don't own Fake, but if someone was willing to steal it for me, I wouldn't mind. Otherwise it belongs to Ms. Matoh.

 

 

Chapter 2 - Denial

 

 

As JJ sat there patiently waiting for Drake to lose the slack jawed yokel look and answer his question, his mind wandered to the day that Marissa came to see him.

 

Flashback - Same day as break up

 

 

When JJ saw the beautiful brunette walk in and looking around like she was a little lost, he knew that he had seen her before, but he wasn't able to pinpoint where.

 

“Hi, can I help you? You look a little lost.” JJ asked.

 

“Oh, hi JJ.” Marissa said her voice showing her relief at finding who she was looking for so easily, as what she was going to say was going to be hard enough. If she didn't find him today she didn't think she could get up the nerve to do this again.

 

“Do I know you?” JJ asked frowning still not being able to place her face.

 

“Oh sorry, it's been a while since we met. I'm Marissa. Drake's…..girlfriend. We met a few months ago at the Annual Police Picnic.” she said a little hesitantly.

 

“Oh, yeah. Well Drake isn't here he went home hours ago. Sorry.”

 

“Oh I know. I'm-I'm kinda here to see you. Is there somewhere private we can talk?” Marissa asked as she wrung her hands nervously.

 

JJ didn't know what to make of the situation but his stomach started to get a fluttery sensation, which he didn't like. Something was wrong, he thought, hoping Drake was okay. JJ led her to the office which he and Drake shared.

 

“Is everything okay with Drake?” He inquired as he sat down across from Marissa.

 

“Oh he isn't hurt or anything, he's fine. I just need to talk to you about something, that's all.” Marissa stated, then tilting her head to the side, she gave JJ an assessing look. “You really care for him don't you?”

 

`That was an odd question.' thought JJ and just a little too insightful for his taste.

 

“Yeah, you could say that, we've been partners for over two years now, so it's only natural that we would be best friends.”

 

“Well that's understandable, but I meant more than just, best friends.” Marissa said as a determined look came over her face, which made JJ stomach not just flutter but start doing flip flops.

 

JJ knew that during her relationship with Drake she must have found out about his sexual orientation, so he wondered if she was worried that he would insinuate himself into her relationship with Drake. That was a laugh. Drake was as straight as they came and even if, JJ would never think of doing anything to make Drake unhappy.

 

“You don't have to worry about Drake and me, there's nothing going on between us, if that's why you're here?” JJ said preemptively.

 

“Oh no, that's not it, well kind of….” Marissa said sounding a little flustered. “JJ, uhm. Could you just hear me out?”

 

“Okay.” JJ said as his stomach tied itself in knots. `What could this girl have to say to him about Drake?' JJ wondered worriedly.

 

“Firstly stop looking so worried please. I didn't come here with bad news, as a matter of fact you would almost consider it good news.”

 

“Sorry. I am a cop, it's just a natural habit to think the worst.” JJ said as he seemed to visibly relax, but the inside of his stomach was still tying itself into knots.

 

“JJ-” Marissa paused before she continued, taking a calming breath. JJ didn't miss this and it just made his hackles rise, like he said he was a cop and this girl looked like she was about to drop a bomb. “Do you have any idea how Drake really feels about you?” she questioned softly.

 

“Excuse me? That's an odd way to phrase that question. What do you mean “feels about me”?”

 

Marissa raised one eyebrow and realized that the decision she came to a few days ago was most definitely the right one. These two were so adorably clueless that she knew she was doing the right thing. At least one of them would be clued in by the time she was done and maybe something good would come out of all this.

 

“Okay let me re-phrase the question. How do you feel about Drake?”

 

If JJ's heart and stomach could have ceased functioning just from sheer shock, they probably would have right at that moment.

 

All JJ thought was `He couldn't tell her that almost about the same time that she started dating Drake that he came to the dismal realization that he was falling for his straight as an arrow work partner, which at the time he thought was insane, because wasn't he completely infatuated with Dee Laytner. Well as time wore on JJ came to find that the way he felt for Dee was nothing compared to what he felt for Drake.

 

Yeah he worried about Dee getting hurt, but when he thought the same about Drake, he would get this extremely sick feeling and a slight panicky sensation would start to run up his back until he would stomp it down. Also just to make himself feel better he would glance up to reassure himself that Drake was still there and okay or if he was at home, he would give Drake's cell a call, no matter what time of the day it was and always Drake would answer with a “Hey JJ, what's up?”, without fail.

 

“JJ?”

 

“Huh? What?” JJ said snapping out of his thoughts.

 

“You sort of zoned out there.” Marissa explained.

 

“Oh, sorry.” JJ said still trying to gather himself together.

 

“And you never answered my question.” Marissa stated, determination written all over her face.

 

“Well he's my best friend, so of course I care about him.” JJ hedged. He couldn't let on that he cared for Drake more than he should to this girl, after all she was Drake's girlfriend.

 

Marissa came to the frustrating conclusion that she would just have to take the bull by the horns if she were to get anywhere with JJ.

 

“Okay, I guess I just have to be point blank.” Marissa said, she braced herself to be as blunt as she could. “Are you or are you not completely in love with Drake Parkeer?

 

If JJ's jaw could have slammed through the floor it would have.

 

Marissa couldn't help but smile at the completely stunned look on JJ's face. Sitting there gaping at her looking like a large mouth bass and those gorgeous blue, almost teal eyes of his open wide in complete and utter disbelief at the question she just put to him. She could see why Drake would love him? He was just too adorable for words.

 

JJ felt like he had been gut punched. What on earth was this girl asking of him. Did she really want him to answer truthfully? From the look on her face it seemed so.

 

Marissa took some pity on JJ, when she saw a look of absolute indecision come over his face. Like he was torn between telling her the truth and running screaming from the room.

 

“It's okay JJ. I just need to know the truth. Please.” She gently encouraged.

 

JJ saw the heartfelt look in Marissa's eyes and felt his whole body slump back into his chair with dejected resignation at what he was about to reveal.

 

“Yes.” JJ whispered. It was one word, but there was so much meaning in it that JJ fought the urge to wince when he said it.

 

“I thought so.” Marissa acknowledged, a small smile appearing on her face. “Now was that so hard?”

 

“Actually yes it was. Now let me ask you something. You being Drake's girlfriend, why do you seem so happy to find out that your current boyfriend's co-worker slash best friend, who I might add is also another guy is in love with said boyfriend?”

 

“Because it silences the only doubt left in my mind that would stop me from doing what I need to do.”

 

“What is it you need to do, that would involve me telling you that I'm in love with Drake, your boyfriend?”

 

“Well…..to tell you that I'm more than a little certain that Drake is also in love with you.” Marissa said, her features going somber.

 

JJ noticed the change in Marissa's demeanor, when his brain abruptly latched on to what she said.

 

`Wait a second-` JJ's mind suddenly was trying to process this new information. His mind and his heart were now in a fist fight for dominance. His brain wanted to rationalize and say that it was preposterous and his heart was ready to burst with the hope and elation he was feeling at the prospect that Drake might feel the same way he did, but after a few seconds of his inner battle his practical side won out.

 

“What would make you think that?!” he asked apprehensively.

 

“Because a few nights ago he said just about as much.” Marissa informed him as she locked eyes with him, reinforcing what she had just said.

 

“What?!” JJ said bolting upright in his where he was sitting. “Drake told you he loved me? Are you sure you didn't misunderstand what he was saying?”

 

“I don't think so, but then he was pretty wasted.”

 

“Wasted?”

 

“Yeah. About a week ago I decided to surprise Drake, I had gotten back a day earlier than I thought I would from a business trip and I went over to his place. He wasn't home, so I let myself in and waited for him. About an hour later he stumbled in.”

 

“I remember that night. All the guys from the CI Unit went out for drinks and I ended up pouring Drake into a cab with me.”

 

“I know. He told me all about it. He talks about you quite a lot actually. I feel like I've known you probably just about as long as he has, even though I've only met you twice.”

 

“Oh.” JJ said looking a little sheepish and blushing. He really is adorable Marissa thought again, noting JJ's blush before she continued.

 

“Well, after I was able to get him to the couch and we both sat down, he started telling me about his night out and just as I thought he was running out of steam, he looked up at me JJ and I swear to you, he looked as sober as we are now and he said to me “I love him you know, really love him. Don't tell him okay, I wouldn't want him to feel weird around me. Then he fell asleep.”

 

“Are you sure that's what he said?”

 

“Yeah he actually spoke quite clearly being as drunk as he was.” Marissa stated.

 

“He possibly couldn't have realized, what he saying. He couldn't have meant it.” JJ said more to himself than Marissa, but he knew there was more than a good chance that what Drake said was the honest truth. You see alcohol worked a little like sodium pentathol {truth serum} on Drake. Once he had enough in his system you could get Drake to tell you almost anything, that's why he hardly ever drank to that extent most of the time. That night was an exception, because JJ told Drake that he would be his designated Driver or passenger since they took a cab.

 

JJ remembered that Drake was actually pretty friendly in the cab ride to his apartment, even going so far as to rest his head in JJ lap and allowing JJ to run his fingers through his hair without protest. Since JJ didn't really have anything to drink, he was pretty sober and was finding Drakes antics quite amusing, before he dropped Drake off and headed home himself.

 

“JJ it's not just that.” Marissa said making JJ look up from his recollection. “There are so many reasons that have helped me come to that conclusion. He loves you and is too scared to admit it, not even to himself. He would rather hide than admit the truth, JJ. He needs time and you, or he'll never be truly happy.”

 

“What about you and him?” JJ asked.

 

“There is no longer an “us” JJ. I broke up with Drake just before I came here to see you. He knows why I broke it off…sorta. He doesn't know I'm here, but he knows that I believe he loves someone else and not me. Ironically he never denied it. Don't' you think that's a little odd, JJ?”

 

JJ knew the question was rhetorical so he didn't bother to answer it. He concentrated more on the fact that Marissa said that she broke up with Drake.

 

“You broke up with him?” JJ asked so softly that Marissa nearly didn't hear his question.

 

“Yeah.” Marissa answered when she suddenly glanced at her watch. “Oh my goodness is it that late, already? I have to get going.” She said as she stood. “JJ he needs you. Give him time, be there for him and allow him to be there for you. I envy you. After I leave here today we'll probably never see each other again. I know it's a lot to take in so out of the blue, but I hope it all works out.” Marissa leaned in and gave JJ a quick hug and smile and then she was gone.

 

That night JJ cooked for Drake for the first time.

 

End Flashback

 

JJ was patient, now his patience was at an end. He wanted Drake so bad that it put his teeth on edge and made his body feel like a drawn bow.

 

As the years passed, JJ watched Drake and took note of all the little things Drake let slip that let JJ know that he wanted him just as badly. For example the gym incident, he knew that Drake was watching him, like many other times before.

 

JJ knew it was sudden to just spring this on Drake, but he just couldn't take it anymore. So now here he was sitting across his dining room table looking at a completely stunned Drake.

 

“JJ-“ Drake finally managed.

 

“Well Drake?” JJ asked eyes not wavering.

 

“I -“

 

“Don't you dare. Don't you dare say that you don't know what I'm talking about, because you know exactly what I'm talking about.” JJ said cutting Drake off and getting up from his seat and walking over to where Drake sat.

 

As JJ came over Drake practically shot out of his seat with a deer in the headlights look on his face. JJ didn't stop his forward motion until he had Drake pinned to the dinning room wall, a hand placed on either side of his head, giving no route of escape. He leaned in as close as he dared without completely panicking Drake.

 

“Why are you so afraid?” JJ whispered his body a hairs breath away from Drakes.

 

Drake could feel JJ's body heat right through his clothes. It was affecting him in ways he wasn't ready to deal with, but still JJ was so close. His face was so close, all he had to do was lean forward, that's all it would take.'

 

Everything was out in the open. Drake had no choice but to take the next step. JJ hoped that Drake would take the next step. He just prayed it was the one that moved them toward each other instead of away. With a bit of luck Drake wouldn't allow his fears to take control.

 

JJ was jolted out of his reverie by a set of warm moist lips hesitantly kissing him, he almost forgot what he was doing, he had gotten so deep in thought. He could feel the uncertainty in the kiss, but still he was being kissed. Drake had taken the step. JJ's heart sang with unrepressed glee. He took a chance and slowly deepened the kiss, closing the space between their bodies until they were heatedly pressed together.

 

JJ moved his right hand down from where he had it resting next to Drake's head, running his fingers into the silky strands of hair at the nape of Drake's neck and up the back of his head, deepening the kiss more. This caused Drake to let out a small moan, giving JJ access to explore deeper. As JJ ran his tongue along the roof of Drakes mouth he felt Drake return the kiss with just as much fervor and soon felt him intertwining his tongue with JJ's and gently suckling. The sensation of this caused JJ to instinctually thrust his hips forward, brushing their clothed erections together, drawing out a groan from Drake.

 

Suddenly Drake stiffened, his mind screaming at him to just get the hell out of there. His fight or flight reflex kicked in full force and all his poor overloaded and bewildered mind wanted was out. He abruptly pulled away from JJ and without looking to see what JJ's reaction would be turned and made a beeline for the front door.

 

JJ couldn't even react right away at being pushed away so unexpectedly. One moment he was being kissed breathless the next he was being pushed into the edge of his dinning room table and looking up to see Drake's retreating back as he practically sprinted out of JJ's apartment.

 

Before JJ could completely absorb the results of his actions Drake was gone.

 

`Shit. Tomorrow was going to be interesting.' thought JJ, that's if Drake even showed for their shift.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When JJ came in for his shift the next day, Drake was already there and seemed to be knee deep in work already.

 

“Good Morning.”

 

“Mornin'.” was Drakes mumbled reply as he refused to look up.

 

JJ decided to get it over with, he walked over to Drake's desk ready for anything.

 

“Look Drake, we need to talk about yesterday.”

 

“What about yesterday, JJ?” Drake looked up at JJ then, his face devoid of all emotion and looking like he hadn't slept.

 

“You can't be serious. The kiss. What I said to you. Any of this registering here?” JJ said sounding very aggravated.

 

“Look JJ I don't have time for this. We have a lot of work, so yesterday didn't happen okay. Just leave it alone. I'm going to get some coffee and I need to return this file to the records room. When I come back, I don't want to hear anymore about it.” with that Drake left.

 

JJ just stared at their closed office door, which Drake had just walked through, in stunned silence. He knew Drake could be mule headed, but this was bizarre. Was Drake that much in denial as to what happened? He was the one who initiated the damn kiss in the first place so that goes to prove that JJ wasn't certifiable, he wasn't the only one in the room who was taking great satisfaction in the kiss they shared, that is until Drake ran like a bat out of hell.

 

Things were not going to end like this, JJ would not allow it, he loved Drake and he knew deep in his gut that Drake loved him too, but was allowing all his hang ups and doubts to interfere with what he felt for JJ.

 

“Well, I guess I'll have to play dirty then. Sorry Drake.” JJ said to the empty office as he walked over to his desk to start his long day of dealing with an inflexible partner.

 

 

A/N - Thank you to all of those who like the first installment and let me know it. I hope this one is just as enjoyable. Don't worry, this chapter was just to give you some back story as to why JJ was able to be so blunt. Drake is in for it, I can't wait and I'm going to have so much fun.

 

Later