Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Just a Nibble ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Just a Nibble
by NeekerBreeker(@facehugger.com)
Pairing: Drake x JJ x Ted
Rating: NC-17
Feedback: Most welcome.
Timeline: Well after Like, Like, Love. Drake and JJ have been together for some months.
Warnings: Threesome, mansex, PWP
Disclaimer: Matou Sanami and Biblos own all the rights. I own all the kinky bunnies.
Summary: Forced to work on a useless stakeout on a hot summer night, three detectives find all new ways to deal with tension.


"There we go!" Ted called out cheerfully as he slammed the patrol car door closed. He bent down and waved his hand to the handcuffed, sweating overweight man on the backseat, pulling up a saccharine smile. Marty threw Ted a lop-sided grin through the window before he started up the car and drove away from the alley. Ted continued to smile a self-satisfactory smile. They had caught the fat bastard in no time at all; what kind of a self-respecting drug dealer sent easily persuadable teenaged smackheads to run his personal errands? The heat wave that had struck New York a week ago must've started to affect the perps, too.

It had only taken a little sweet talk and some of his natural charm to get the junkie girl to talk. Once Ted had broken the ice, everything positively bubbled out of the little stuttering runaway. She all but drew them the map of Samuel Johansen's secret hideout. After that, they had simply packed into the cars and driven to the spot, a posh-looking apartment building in northern Bronx, and picked up Johansen. Voilá, a late shift cancelled. Beautiful how things sometimes worked out.

Wiping his forehead to his folded-up sleeve - jeez, but it *was* hot - Ted sauntered over to the other detectives, who were just finishing up with Chief. Everyone seemed as eager as him to wrap things up and fuck off in the direction of the nearest air conditioner. JJ was fanning himself with the witness statement of the junkie girl as he talked with Chief.

Drake, who had been standing by JJ and listening with a worried look on his face, noticed Ted and walked over to him. He had thrown his suit jacket casually over his shoulder and seemed to be the most comfortable of everyone present. Yet, for some reason, he was frowning. What could possibly bother Parker now? The sun was shining, they had just earned themselves a night off; what else could a cop ask for on a beautiful summer day?

"Where's Marty?" Drake asked, glancing briefly at JJ.

"I bribed him to take Johansen to the station. That should about wrap it up, huh?" Ted stretched his arms, feeling life flow into his veins. Maybe he'd take Teena to the pool. A swim would be just the ticket right now. And man, one thought of that supple body in a swimsuit and blood surged southwards. Maybe a two-piece suit, red or orange... Ah, yes indeed, life was good.

Drake went to say something, but Ted spoke over him. "So, Friday night! You got any plans, Drake? I know I have." The thought of Teena brought a grin back to his face.

Drake grimaced. What the hell was this guy's problem? Fight with JJ? No, that couldn't be it, because when JJ was pissed off, everyone knew it. "I suppose it doesn’t matter now," Drake said dryly, "the chief just told us to keep to the position for another couple a’ hours. Y’know, in case one of those deadheads is gonna show up again."

"On the starship Enterprise and doing the Vulcan peace sign," Ted deadpanned. Then he snorted and shook his head. This was Drake's luck all over, having to stay on a useless stakeout because Chief was having an anal retentive day. "He actually wants you to stay here and wait for a couple of dopeheads to come back to the crime scene? Oh man! He’s gotta be shittin’ you!"

Granted, it *was* the standard procedure, but a jellyfish could tell that it would be a wild goose chase.

Drake patted Ted's shoulder sympathetically. "You and I both, Ted. If Marty’s already on his way to the station, I guess that means only you’re staying here with me and JJ."

Wait a minute... Wait a GODDAMN FUCKING minute here.

"Wha-what?" Ted stammered, feeling like someone had just hit him in the chest with a sledgehammer. "Excuse me? You're fucking kiddin' me, right? I ain’t sticking around here; we caught the perp, the job’s done!”

"You try telling Chief that." Drake raised his eyebrows sardonically. "In my humble opinion, you’re better off hoping Scotty will beam you up."

Ted watched Chief drive off and wished bloody, horrible death in the hands of a dozen cannibals for him. "That joke fell about as flat as my last date’s chest."

"Not as flat as MY last date’s," Drake said and grinned, the cheeky bastard, as he turned to JJ, who came jogging towards them.

Ted glared at the two, miffed at the world and desperate for someone to blame. *Now, who does this remind me of? Ever since he embraced the magical world of gay Drake’s been acting like he knows the greatest secret of the universe. Fuck, he never used to SMIRK before. I could write a book: The Obvious Signs Your Friend’s Bisexual. One, constant smirking and annoying knowing grins. Two, keeps groping his work partner.*

Sweating and annoyed as hell, he unbuckled his gun belt and peeled off his denim shirt. The tee-shirt he wore underneath felt like it had been dipped in glue, clinging to his skin and making him squirm in discomfort. Ugh. He realized vaguely that he would prefer the pool to Teena at the moment.

"Ted-senpai!" JJ called, and Ted turned lazily around.

"Yup?"

JJ nodded towards their patrol car. It looked lonely and strange, parked next to the dark brick building. All the other patrol cars had already left. "I'm going to move the car a bit. If you want to go grab something to eat, I suggest you do it now."

Ted made a face and scratched his hair. "Not really hungry. Drake?"

Pausing in the middle of his concentrated search for cigarettes, Drake shook his head.

JJ shrugged and with one fluid movement, took off his suit jacket and plopped it into Drake's arms. "Suit yourself, senpai." He walked off, loosening his tie.

Still looking for someone to blame for this, Ted found himself glaring at Drake. What did Drake and JJ care if they had to sit in a parked car and stare at an empty street? At least they had each other, right there. Ted knew what the chances were that he'd ever get to take Teena out again, and they were really fucking microscopic.

"What?" Drake asked gruffly, shaking his lighter in a vain attempt to make it work.

"I had a fucking date tonight," Ted muttered tersely. This was one of those times when there really is nothing intelligent that one can say, yet something definitely has to be said.

"You think you're the only one?" Drake gave up with a small growl, stuffed his cigarettes and the lighter into his breast pocket and started to walk towards the car, the unlit cigarette still hanging from the corner of his mouth. "You're taking the backseat."

Ted stood there, unmoving, for a moment. Then he unambiguously spread his arms and let out a short and furious cry at the heavens.


Thank the god of fuck that JJ had at least had the common sense to park in the shade. The first thing Ted did after climbing onto the backseat was roll down both the windows, but it didn't lift the afternoon heat that seemed to hang over the car like a blanket. He let his arm hang out of the open window and leaned his back against the seat. Drake, who was sitting on the front seat with his feet up on the dashboard, muttered something about the heat as well, but Ted couldn't make out what he said. For ten uncomfortable minutes, it was quiet in the car, the only sound coming from Drake still trying to flick his lighter to produce a tiny flame. JJ drummed the steering wheel, and Ted thanked heavens that he wasn't trying to whistle or something. He concentrated on counting the drops of sweat that trickled down his back.

Finally, Ted had enough of the incessant clicking sound and kicked Drake's seat. "Give up already, the fuckin' thing's dead."

Drake pondered over this for a second, and then threw the lighter out of the window with a quiet curse.

"Hey, guys," Ted started, aiming for a peppy tone, "Whaddya say we wait for, oh, I dunno, ten minutes, and then sneak the car back and go home? I mean, come on! This assignment is a joke. You know no one's gonna show up!"

Since they hesitated a moment before answering, Ted knew Drake and JJ agreed with him. A little hope kindled in him, but it was soon extinguished.

"Doesn't matter what we think about the assignment, Ted-senpai," JJ pointed out with infuriating logic. "The chief would know we were lying. He expects us to bolt at the first chance."

"Yeah, the guy has a sixth sense for these sort of things," Drake added, nodding in agreement. Damn him and JJ and their hive-mind. Ted snickered at the way the still unlit cigarette bobbed up and down when Drake nodded.

JJ turned and reached over to poke at Drake's face, smiling impishly. "Take that unlit cigarette out of your mouth, Drake. You only draw more attention to your oral fixation that way."

With a bit of a huff, Drake retorted, in good humor, "I'm not the one who has to bring it up all the time."

JJ adopted an innocent, matter-of-fact tone that, Ted realized, was an almost perfect imitation of Chief's secretary Linda's voice. "Stating the facts, dear, stating the facts."

Drake squirmed a bit on his seat. Ted wondered idly if this cutesy banter was turning him on. No matter which way you looked at it, JJ could simply walk into the room these days and Drake would immediately drop the file on his lap. He tried his best to understand what Drake saw in that hyperactive boy - and failed, until he finally thought about imagining JJ as a woman. He was so embarrassed to actually understand Drake's infatuation at that point that he cut the thought short there and then.

Then Ted came to think about Teena and the way she stretched her arms briskly, accentuating both her perky little ass and firm tits. Or, Ted didn't really know if those tits were as firm as they looked through the loose tee-shirt, but he was pretty sure they were. He moved uncomfortably, telling his eagerly responding cock that this was neither the place nor the time. As usual, though, the communication was strictly from north to south only, and he got no response whatsoever from the rebellious organ that kept poking at his zipper. He cursed under his breath.

"It's gonna get cooler soon, right?" Drake suddenly asked no one in particular, hopefully. "I mean, when the sun goes down?"

JJ sighed a bit and apparently undid a few more buttons on his dress shirt. "Actually I doubt it. This time of the year, when the day's as warm as today was, the night is likely to be only a couple of degrees cooler."

"I can't help thinking we had ice cold champagne at home," Drake moaned and threw himself back against the seat so that it crashed against Ted's knees. Ted kicked the seat in annoyance, which Drake of course ignored. "Fucking hell, it was even *good* champagne."

"Wow, you really did have plans, huh?" Ted commented lamely, in an attempt to remind the other two of his presence before he became a complete persona non grata.

Drake glanced at him over his shoulder. "For your information, I had been waiting for tonight for the whole damn week. You think this sunshine and summer heat thing affects only straights? Think again."

"Yeah, we *invented* summer horniness, for your information," JJ piped in cheerfully. "You should visit a gay bar in winter and you'd know what I mean."

"Oh yeah?" Ted quirked an eyebrow.

JJ picked up a road map and started fanning himself with it. "My point is that I could guarantee no one would even look twice at your tempting heterosexual ass. Not during the dead months. But go there now, and you'd be molested within minutes."

Drake chuckled a bit and looked away, leaving Ted to the mercy of the prattling JJ.

*Thanks a lot, pal.*

Ted had to admit he was a bit curious at this point. "You think my ass is tempting?"

Right after uttering the words, he cursed himself violently. For fuck's sake, that had sounded like a swoony "do-you-reeeally-think-I'm-pretty" line that had been the trademark of practically every teenaged girl he had ever dated. Rhetorical questions: the most dangerous weapon in the female arsenal, and the most difficult to dodge.

Even JJ seemed to have some difficulty. "Well, you know, senpai, forbidden fruit and all that." Then he nudged Drake and smiled smugly. "So when are you going to make good on that promise and come with me to Roxy, huh?"

Drake made a face. "There's no way I could bribe myself out of this, is there?"

"What's so scary about that place? I promised you I'd keep you safe."

"Well, the music, for one. Gives me a damn headache." Drake glanced at Ted again, apparently seeking support. As if Ted would know anything about the music they played in gay bars. "Plus, I don't particularly enjoy being harassed. Like you said, forbidden fruit. I'm half straight, anyway."

"Half straight is right," JJ quipped, leaning his back against his seat and laughing. "You're not bisexual, Drake, you really are half straight, half JJ-sexual. I've never met a bi man less gay than you."

Ted had to join in the laughter this time, because he agreed with JJ. Drake had managed to completely fool him, after all. Only a month ago, he would've sworn on his mother's grave that Drake was one hundred percent heterosexual and would in fact be the first of their little clique to get married. His jaw had made a dent on the floor when he had first witnessed Drake giving JJ a quick kiss before a meeting. Ted felt somewhat relieved when he realized that this conversation was slowly but surely distracting him from the mental image of Teena, which was a damn shame and an extremely good thing at the same time.

"Yeah, okay," Drake said when the chuckles died down, "I'm not ready to become a gay icon just yet. Doesn't bother me." His tone suddenly turned irritated and he dropped his feet down from the dashboard. "This heat, though, this bothers me. Do we have anything to drink in that bag, JJ?"

JJ looked over his shoulder, and following his gaze, Ted noticed the shopping bag, tucked almost completely under the driver's seat. "I think there was a bottle of water or two. It's flavored, though. Do you mind?"

Drake made a dismissive gesture.

Ted took the bag before JJ had to ask and rummaged around the typical grocery store purchases until he found the water bottle. He tapped Drake's shoulder with it, and Drake took it gratefully.

"What else is in there? Strawberries and whipped cream?" Ted asked with a smirk when JJ resumed fanning himself.

"Please. I have more originality than that," JJ said, raising one eyebrow.

"Nothing wrong with the golden oldies," Drake muttered and offered JJ the bottle.

Oh Jesus Christ, no. Now the two were putting absolutely wrong images into Ted's mind. He was a bit put out that JJ had dismissed his own favorite kink like that. Sure, strawberries and whipped cream *were* a cliché, but none of his dates had complained. And neither would he. You just couldn't go wrong with strawberries and whipped cream.

He was distracted from the mental image of strawberry juice trickling down a naked back when JJ let out an exasperated sigh. Ted quickly crouched down; twilight was creeping into the alley, but the front seat of the car was pretty well illuminated, and he had been leaning forward quite a bit. Last thing he needed right now was JJ noticing his hard-on and starting to comment. The atmosphere was leaning towards hot and horny a little too heavily already.

JJ leaned his back against the seat, eyes closed. "It's so *humid* in here. Does anyone mind if I get slightly naked? I think I'm going to melt into a puddle otherwise."

Ted shrugged, not knowing why JJ even asked. He could tell Drake's whole attention had immediately been devoted to JJ's fingers, which were quickly unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. Obviously *he* didn't mind.

"Here," Drake said under his breath and tugged JJ's tie loose, then slowly pulled it off. JJ smiled a bit and reached out to undo one button from Drake's shirt, too. Ted was being blatantly ignored as the two looked at each other like they were fucking each other with their eyes.

*Okay,* Ted thought as he tried to burrow into the backseat and disappear, *now I know why JJ asked.*

The thing that bothered him the most was that *he* was horny, too, dammit, and what was going on not only made it difficult to ignore it, but it actually also made the problem worse. There was so much horniness in the air that you could cut it with a butter knife. Ted shifted and started to solve simple mathematical equations in his mind, but fucking God, he was sure there would be a zipper-mark on his cock when he saw it next. He'd have to either get rid of the hard-on or the jeans soon, or things would get really painful.

Drake suddenly gave Ted the courtesy of glancing at him. His eyes were glowing and he was slowly wrapping JJ's tie round his other hand. "Something wrong, Ted?"

Ted rolled his eyes and leaned back on the seat, running his hands over his face. "Good God. Will you *stop* pawing each other for a sec, okay? Or tell you what, I’ll go take a walk and you can jump on the backseat and do whatever you wanna do, suck each other off or whatever, and when I get back we’ll all be a *lot* happier, okay? Okay?"

"Settle down, Ted; Jesus." Drake gave him an annoyed look. "We ain’t thrilled about this assignment, either."

Ted chuckled a bit. "I bet you’re not. I can feel the heat waves from there. Feels like a friggin’ Turkish sauna in here what with all this steam." He sighed and let his hands drop on his lap. His cock twitched a bit when his knuckles brushed it through the jeans. He would really, really have to do something about it soon. It didn't like being stood up. "Sorry, guys; I know it’s not your fault, but I got a *real* good date for tonight and I’m just... Goddammit."

"So why didn’t you call her and tell her that the date is off?" JJ asked, and turned to give Ted a completely un-asked-for view of his sweaty, naked chest.

Ted had to search for his voice a bit. *C'mon, brain. You can do it.*

"'Cause I don’t have her number."

"You got a real hot date and you don’t have her number?"

"Hell, I don’t even know her last name. All I know is, her name’s Teena, she’s got a body to die for and she’s a plumber."

"A plumber?" JJ chuckled, predictably.

"I know what you’re thinking. I always thought plumbers were these fat, greasy, middle-aged guys. I didn't expect the bastard child of Gillian Anderson and Drew Barrymore to be walking in."

"So she came over to fix your taps and you asked her out on a date?" Drake flashed that knowing grin that had become his trademark recently.

"Yeah. I told her to come over this weekend if she was interested in checking some other taps, too."

They all chuckled, and Ted felt a little less uncomfortable.

"Where did you learn that from, some bad porn movie from the eighties?" JJ shook his head, still giggling. "But actually, I thought it’s usually the guy who’s the plumber in the het porn flicks."

"Yeah, that’s right," Drake piped in. "Is it the same in gay porn? I mean, is the guy who’s gonna be on top the plumber or the pizza guy, or is it the bottom?"

"Hmm. Depends." JJ seemed to be honestly thinking about it.

Ted couldn’t believe they were now discussing character casting in gay porn all of a sudden. God, at least he knew what his friends were thinking about.

"Come to think of it," JJ went on, as serious as anything, "it is usually the top who’s at the door. I wonder if the people who write the scripts for gay porn are basing it all on straight porn movies. Now that would be sad."

Ted did his best to stare out of the window and pretend to be distracted by the boring empty building. Ignore the topic and it'll go away. In theory, anyway.

Drake didn't seem ready to let go of the current topic, however. "Y'know, I’ve always wondered: why the pizza guys? I mean, I haven’t met a single good-looking pizza delivery guy. Or a girl. And pizza isn't exactly the sexiest food around. How did they come up with that?"

"I dated this girl once who delivered groceries," Ted informed the other two with a shrug. "She had *great* legs. I mean it, they were killers - she could've snapped a guy's neck with those thigh muscles of hers. It’s the cycling, y'know; keeps the thighs nice and firm."

"And the ass," JJ added helpfully.

"And the ass. So, I kinda see why people would find people who do deliveries sexy." Ted was pleased with how well he had backed up his claim.


Another silence fell, but this was a comfortable silence that didn't need filling. Ted stared into space, faintly aware of the only movement in the car, namely JJ fanning himself. It was getting dark. The setting sun occasionally peeking from behind the buildings was the color of blood orange. Ted came to think that the color was the same as Teena's bikini in his favorite fantasy of her.

Nope. He would *not* go there. He would probably never see her again anyway. No sense in dragging himself down for no reason. Odd, how the same thought could turn him on and depress him at the same time.

"I need a cigarette," Drake suddenly announced. Ted and JJ both glanced at him. He looked somewhat flustered. It could've been the just the sunset, though. "I'm gonna go buy some matches."

"What happened to going by the book, Drake?" Ted asked sourly. "So you think we shouldn't ditch this useless stakeout and go home, but it's perfectly fine if we waltz around and fuck it up anyway?"

Drake gave him an exasperated look, and Ted cringed a bit in remorse. He hadn't meant to sound so whiny and accusatory. He shouldn't be hard on Drake; it wasn't his fault they were stuck here. The heat was getting to him, not to mention the sexual frustration that had been slowly building all day.

"Sorry, man," he said in a low voice and squeezed Drake's shoulder a bit.

Drake nodded unsurely. "I know. We're all tense." He buttoned his shirt up again and checked his wallet. "One thing is for sure, if I don't get my nicotine things can only get worse. Be right back."

"I'll come with you," JJ said and had the sense to do a couple of buttons on his own shirt. It had been hanging almost completely open. It looked criminally comfortable, although Ted suspected JJ had undone the buttons for more Drake's benefit than his own.

"Senpai?"

Ted blinked and quickly looked up to JJ's face, coughing in embarrassment when he realized he had been staring at JJ's chest. That hadn't been in his contract. "Yeah, I'll keep watch while you're gone. No punk is gonna steal your kinky food sex materials when I'm here."

There was an odd twinkle in JJ's eye when he turned to nod to Drake. Most likely he was planning to pin Drake against the wall somewhere. Ted couldn't blame him.

The two shut the doors and left, JJ chattering enthusiastically to Drake as soon as they were out of Ted's hearing range. Ted hmphed and leaned against the car door, stretching his legs on the backseat. He wriggled a little, trying to find a comfortable position. His rampant hard-on had diminished somewhat, but the cock was still very attentive. Realizing that he had a moment of privacy right now, Ted unbuttoned his jeans and sighed in relief at the new freedom. This evening hadn't turned out at all the way he had promised his cock. Instead of a refreshing swim and a hot babe, he had a bottle of lemon-flavored water and a hot, musty patrol car. Well, he decided, as he with slow relish pulled his cock from his boxers, he would make do.

Ted recalled the way Teena's eyebrows had shot up when he had come to answer the door; the first look of appraisal, and her eyes lightening up at the same time as a sparkling smile rose to her lips. That was it, that was the best part: knowing that someone you had only seconds ago met found you hot. And he must've been sending her all the same messages. First look at that shiny red hair and moist lips made for wrapping around someone's cock... No, not someone's cock; *his* cock. She had even touched her tongue to her lower lip, a pointed little tongue that had to be talented as all hell...

The steady movements of his hand were a relief that bordered on bliss. It occurred to him briefly that it was kind of sad that he was jerking off alone in a patrol car on a beautiful summer night like this, but he pushed the thought aside. He took a firmer grip, forcing himself to focus on what was truly important. Desperation made his motions border on violent, but he didn't mind rough, never had. Ted brought his other hand to play with his balls, feeling them tighten and get even more sensitive under his fingers. He forced himself to get closer, closer, because he needed this, he needed this now...


Familiar voices made his heart jump into his throat. His hands froze in mid-motion, and he swore he could hear the blood pump needily in his momentarily ignored cock.

"Shit," Ted hissed aloud as he looked over his shoulder and saw that Drake and JJ had already walked round the corner and were just a few steps away from the car. How had they got there? Exactly how much time had passed, anyway? He started to fight with his jeans, his cock complaining all the while. Drake and JJ were arguing about something, but his fuzzy brain couldn't follow their conversation at the moment. It was all he could do to keep all the images of his mental wanking library out of his mind in order to control himself.

He had just managed to pull up his boxers and start buttoning up his jeans when JJ suddenly leaned in the window, scaring the living fuck out of Ted. He jumped and almost hit his head on the roof, spinning round to look at JJ, who had leaned his elbows against the open window's frame.

"The fuck are you doing back already?" Ted burst out, feeling his cheeks blush red in embarrassment under JJ's knowing scrutiny. He noticed JJ looking at his still hard dick like a hungry dog at a steak.

"We found a Seven-Eleven, just around the corner." Suddenly JJ's expression melted into pure sweetness and he quickly looked up to Ted's face. "Sorry for interrupting, senpai. Don't mind us; we're all guys here, aren't we?" Without missing a beat, JJ's hand wandered to Ted's wrist, effectively stopping him in mid-attempt to button up the jeans over his aching hard-on.

Ted stared at him, his jaw hanging open. JJ could *not* be suggesting what he oh-so-obviously was suggesting.

"JJ!" Drake exclaimed from the other side of the car, but his voice was frustrated, not the least bit surprised. He leaned down to look at the both of them through the window, a scowl on his face and a lit cigarette in his other hand. Ted shrugged a bit, trying his best to convince Drake that it wasn't *his* idea; he was fair molested here!

JJ slid his hand away, but not without running it up Ted's chest in the process. Ted shivered a bit in spite of himself; he was so damn hot and bothered that his skin tingled at every contact. JJ sauntered to the other side of the car and faced Drake, tilting his head questioningly to the side.

Drake threw his cigarette down and stepped on it. He seemed oddly out of breath. "JJ, what the hell are you doing? I thought I told you, no, no, NO!"

Wait a minute. The two had been discussing this beforehand? Ted gaped at his two friends. Suddenly they seemed to grow horns and tails. Had they been harboring secret fantasies about molesting him when he was in a vulnerable state? He tried to find the righteous fury to project towards Drake and JJ, but all he could find was a strange flattered feeling instead.

"You didn't." JJ's tone was conciliatory.

"I did!"

"No, you just said that it'd be stupid, and I agree. That hasn't stopped me before. Drakey," JJ crooned, wrapping his arms round Drake's waist, "it will be okay. Trust me on this. When have I ever let you down when it comes to sex, huh?"

Drake didn't seem to find anything to say in reply, and Ted nudged his brain a bit and used the silence to his advantage. "Uh, guys? Care to tell me what the hell is going on here? Or, you know, fuck off and let me finish?"

Both Drake and JJ glanced at him. Drake turned away, muttering, "Christ..."

But JJ caught his arm and gave him a pleading look. Ted knew that look. It meant lunch was on Drake. Nodding as if in agreement, JJ turned his attention away from Drake, opened the car door and sat down on the backseat. Ted swallowed. The click of the closing door was unbelievably unnerving to hear.

He backed away the few centimeters he could and licked his lips. "Um. JJ. You *really* wouldn't mind fucking off right now? I'm serious. This is not funny. I'm so not laughing."

"Who's laughing?" JJ said softly, edging closer. Ted couldn't remember when he had last seen someone move with such effortless seductiveness. The way JJ turned around on the seat until he was on all fours had a hint of cat-like femininity in it. His face was determined. It both frightened Ted a bit and gave him an odd thrill.

There was nowhere Ted could've gone, unless he opened the door behind him, and that meant falling down on his ass on the asphalt. He considered the option very seriously when JJ leaned forward, his body moving with smooth precision that somehow made it all but impossible to resist him. Before Ted knew what had happened, JJ had one hand on the window frame and one on the back of the seat and he was on his knees between Ted's thighs.

JJ leaned close to speak against Ted's ear, his warm breath on already hot skin sending new drops of sweat to trickle down Ted's neck. His words were breathy and precise. "We're all hot... frustrated... and hard up. What say we do something about it?" JJ put some merciful distance between them again, but looked at him captivatingly as he finished, "Senpai."

Ted was about to yell bloody murder, but his cock twitched at the close proximity and the attention, and that gave him second thoughts. His mama really hadn't prepared him for moments like this. "It's not like you give me a choice here," he coughed out.

"I do. Why do you think I'm still talking?" JJ bit his lower lip and moved his right hand from the back of the seat to Ted's neck. The gesture was unmistakable but not intrusive; in fact, it felt kind of nice. Any kind of human contact was nice at this point. It suddenly occurred to Ted that all those stories about gay men giving better blowjobs than women had to originate from somewhere, and a spark of excitement sped down the length of his semi-hard dick at the prospect. But.

Ted pushed JJ away a bit and pulled up his jeans. "Drake."

"Oh, yes. My thoughts exactly." JJ turned around and threw open the car door on the other side. "Stop sulking, you lunk, and come in. You can personally supervise that I keep my word."

Drake put his weight from one foot to the other, and then back. He glanced around nervously. "Dammit, JJ," he said under his breath. "Stop waving your ass in front of my face. No!"

"We'll start without you, then," JJ said in a disappointed tone and wriggled a bit as if in discomfort. Of course he only did it to draw Drake's attention to his ass, or so Ted first assumed. However, the motion brought to Ted's attention for the first time the bulge in JJ's pants. Holy fuck, that *had to be* honest discomfort.

Drake sneaked a glance at JJ, and seemed to get his eyes stuck. "How do you get me into these fixes?" he muttered, but the fight had gone out of his voice.

JJ winked at him over his shoulder. "Watch me get away with it, lover. Just watch me."

Drake swallowed loudly.

JJ must have taken that as a permission to proceed, because he turned back to Ted. "Well, I better stop chatting and start doing, huh?"

"Uh, yeah," Ted managed to utter when JJ reached down to gently grasp his cock through his boxers. It weirded him out to have someone rub at his cock and know that it was not a woman, but JJ had a nice, firm grip, and God *yes*, the gesture was greatly appreciated. He let his head drop back against the window frame. What the hell. He owed his cock one.

Ted's breath was starting to catch in his throat when JJ swiftly pulled down his boxers with one hand, while the other stroked the shaft steadily. He knew just the right rhythm, relaxed but not exactly slow... Ted laughed a bit in his throat. This was weird, getting a handjob from a guy. Just like when he had been twelve and one of his pals had had an issue of Playboy... Hell, they had hardly even known what they were doing...

JJ brought his hand up to tease the cockhead with maddening light swirls of his thumb, and his other hand snaked under Ted's shirt. Ted wriggled a bit; the tee-shirt was sweaty and uncomfortable, and he was eager to get rid of its stickiness against his skin.

He felt JJ's breath on his face and did his best to focus on him. "You need to stop gripping the seat like that for a second, senpai," JJ whispered, insistently tugging at Ted's tee-shirt. He pressed the pad of his finger against the slit of Ted's cock. "But only for a second," he reassured and rubbed his finger over the slit in a tiny circle.

Ted's vision blurred for a second. The ground seemed to suddenly give away, and he felt the sweet ache down in the pit of his stomach. "H-Holy fuh-huck," he gasped out as his cock twitched violently under JJ's once again moving hand. Who knew JJ was this incredibly talented? Or maybe it was just because he was incredibly horny. He didn't really care either way.

JJ let go of his cock to pull off the tee-shirt. Ted brought his hands up obediently to speed things up. His hips moved instinctively up, seeking the missing friction. However, JJ didn't turn his attention back to Ted's cock. Tossing the shirt to the side, he turned to look at Drake, grinning. Ted noticed JJ was a bit short of breath, too. Then he realized that the door was hanging open and Drake was sitting on the backseat, his other foot still out on the ground. There was a gleam in his eyes and his mouth was hanging slightly open, as if he was gulping in air. Ted couldn't hear him pant, but Drake's chest was heaving under his shirt, which was hanging half-open.

"I'm all hot and sweaty, Drake," JJ murmured in a breathy voice, "could you please help me out?"

The boxers were starting to become a sticky and uncomfortable nuisance, and Ted pushed them down to his knees, along with his jeans. Stupid fucking clothing. Who the hell had invented clothing, anyway? Fucking cavemen and their clever ideas.

"I could use some help here, too," he managed in a raspy voice, trying to kick off his jeans.

"Fair enough," Drake chimed in; Ted was not sure to whom he was speaking, but it worked. JJ took a firm grip of the base of Ted's cock, pinching at just the right spot to rein him in. Then JJ reached to run his hands up Ted's chest, his movements smooth on the sweat-slickened skin.

JJ was flying blind, however, because his eyes were still glued to Drake's. Ted watched with some twisted fascination as Drake snaked his arms slowly around JJ. He teased the buttons of JJ's shirt open as he leaned over to kiss JJ hungrily, and once all the buttons were undone, his hands took detours to roam over his lover's eagerly responding body. JJ's hands halted for a moment as Drake ran his fingers demandingly up JJ's ribcage and to his nipples. JJ moaned into their kiss, then broke free to draw a shaky breath. He touched his nose to Drake's and they shared a smile that was just for the two of them.

Ted hated to ruin the mood, but he simply couldn't keep his hips from buckling. "C'mon, JJ. Please."

JJ's smile to him was mischievous. "Give us a minute, Ted-senpai. We're way behind you." He went to unzip his own pants, but found Drake's hands already doing the job for him. JJ turned his back to Ted for a moment in order to hurriedly pull off Drake's shirt.

Drake buried his right hand into JJ's hair and kissed him, almost possessively, it seemed to Ted. With his free hand, Drake pulled the door closed behind him.

Sweat trickled down JJ's naked back as he ran his hands up Drake's thighs. In the closed space, the two's needy gasps were loud and seemed all the more intimate. The air was thick with arousal. Ted closed his eyes and counted to ten, willing himself to not be affected by it. He was slowly working himself up and down, pausing to pinch at the base of his cock whenever he could bring himself to do it. No coming, not yet. He just might get something better than his own hand to finish the job for him.

But the other two were blatantly ignoring him as they became more and more immersed in each other. JJ was crawling onto Drake's lap, as much as it was possible in the narrow space of the backseat. His pants were lying in a heap on the floor, but he still had a pair of boxers on, although Drake was doing his best to get rid of them. Ted saw Drake lick a path up JJ's throat, and JJ's enthusiastic moan was the last nail to his coffin.

"JJ, get your fuckin' ass over here and give me some head or something, *please*!" Ted found himself demanding.

JJ turned to him with that cursed cat-like grace. His face was flushed with raw passion. Then JJ squirmed away from Drake in order to pull down his own boxers and throw them on the floor somewhere. He cupped Drake's face in one hand and smiled a bit. "You heard him, Drake. It's not fair if I keep you all to myself."

Drake glanced at Ted, and then laughed. "Me? You're kidding, JJ."

"I sure as hell am not," Ted grunted. JJ kept showering surprises on all of their necks, but he didn't really mind at this point.

"See?" JJ tilted his head to the side and made very obvious puppy eyes at Drake. "Go on, Drakey. I would be so eager to reward such initiative."

Ted saw that Drake was not altogether sure if he wanted to do it, but he swapped places with JJ, who took advantage of the shuffling and pulled down Drake's jeans in the process. Come to think of it, Ted found himself a bit nervous of the prospect of having Drake suck his cock, too. He had known Drake for years longer than he had known JJ. They were buddies. He didn't want to fuck that up. In his experience, sex and friendships never went well together.

"This is so damn weird," Drake said, shaking his head a bit, smiling a wry smile.

Ted nodded. "Yeah." He didn't stop Drake's hand when it landed on his thigh and slid upwards, though. His body had needs, and already it was convincing his mind that everything was going to be okay, he just needed to stop worrying.

"I've only ever done this to one guy, so stuff your complaints," Drake muttered, and before he leaned down, Ted was aware that he was hard and leaking, too. JJ had done that to him? Just by kissing him?

Ted looked over Drake's shoulder at JJ, who was trying to find a comfortable position on the narrow seat. He noticed Ted looking at him and gave a little grin, licking his upper lip. The gesture and even the expression on JJ's face brought a sudden, vivid mental image of Teena into Ted's mind, and he gasped as his cock showed it remembered that shock of arousal, too.

As a result, he hardly noticed when Drake first touched his lips at the base of his cock. But the feel of a warm tongue sliding up his cock brought Ted's undivided attention to it. He looked down at one of his best friends, who was teasing the head of his cock to pump out more pre-come while his hand wrapped round the shaft, and he thought, *Oh, fucking hell! Screw friendship if this is what I get in return!* Drake had always been a diligent worker, and didn't let him down on that account. Ted might've told him to stop teasing him and start sucking, but Drake kept his interest up. Ted hissed in pleasure as Drake's tongue jabbed at the place where his cockhead met the shaft.

All of a sudden, Drake withdrew a little to let out a hoarse groan. He glanced over at JJ with glazed eyes, but Ted had a better view of what was going on. JJ was sitting on the seat behind Drake, his left hand grabbing Drake's ass and his right hand reaching down to stroke Drake's cock and balls. That was what Ted had expected to see, but the next one made him gape a bit. JJ was wetly kissing his way up Drake's inner thigh, obviously heading for the cleft between Drake's ass cheeks. Ted had heard that some people really enjoyed getting their asses eaten out, but the thought was a bit too much for him at the moment. He decided to concentrate on his own cock for now, not that the choice was a hard one to make. Judging by the way Drake panted and gripped Ted's cock, he was finding it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand when JJ was offering the distraction.

"Hey," Ted reminded him, taking hold of Drake's head and pushing it down. He could tell it took some effort of Drake to return to what he had been doing. His actions took a more heated edge, which suited Ted just fine. Drake continued pumping his shaft in steady motions, but his mouth moved southwards to lick at Ted's tautened balls. Ted threw his head back and let out a needy sound from his throat. Oh, God, that felt so good. It was like Drake was kneading his balls with his tongue, rolling them back and forth.

"He learned that trick from me," JJ suddenly informed, concentrating for a moment solely on the movement of his hand, and Ted could see that he was performing a similar kneading on Drake's balls with his fingers.

Drake withdrew a bit to grin. "I'd bow to the master, but I kind of like bowing this way instead." His grin died out as he gasped and his eyes fluttered shut for a second. "Oh, fuckin'..." He visibly gathered his wits and started running his hands up and down Ted's sides, which added a nice human touch to what they were doing. The nearness felt good enough for Ted to sigh in pleasure, especially since Drake finally gave up on teasing and took the head of his cock into his mouth, sucking lightly.

With the warmth and wetness of Drake's mouth surrounding his cock, Ted had to brace himself to not just start fucking him down the throat. He was edging closer and closer to orgasm with every tentative bob of Drake's head as he took Ted's cock in, a little at a time. Now it became obvious that Drake wasn't quite used to doing this; Ted could feel his throat clamping down against the intrusion, but oh *fuck*, what he was doing with his tongue more than made up for it. Ted started panting hoarsely, trying not to pull at Drake's hair too much as he grabbed his head to urge him on. He was dizzy with the knowledge that he was going to come, in just a few seconds; he was going to come so hard...

Some kind of a shout escaped Drake, but didn't get out as his mouth was still occupied. Ted felt the hum of it and groaned, bracing himself. To his grave disappointment, Drake suddenly withdrew, freeing his mouth in order to take a shuddering breath. It came out as a throaty whisper, "Oh, JJ," and Ted suddenly realized that Drake had come then and there. He was too frantic himself to think further on the subject, and he took a harder grip on Drake's head.

"Suck," he ordered, but his voice was weak with need, "suck me, now."

Drake complied, taking him in as far as he apparently was able, and sucked with such determination that it took Ted by surprise. He threw his head back against the window frame and closed his eyes tightly, gulping in air and oh God, if Drake kept fingering his balls like that, he'd--

When the orgasm finally hit him with a knee-buckling force, it felt like it went on and on for ages. The long day of waiting and needing had taken its toll. His ears rang and when he opened his eyes wearily, small dots of light danced in front of them. He concentrated on breathing for a moment. He felt utterly and completely squeezed dry.

After a while, he started to become aware of what was going on. He straightened his back a bit, realizing that he had been taking more space on the seat than he had intended. Drake was coughing into his hand. There were come stains on the seat, but no one seemed to care. JJ was kissing at Drake's neck, moving against his back with a frustration that suggested that he was the only one who still hadn't got his rocks off.

Drake coughed again and wiped at his mouth, and Ted noticed a drop of come on his chin. He reached out to wipe it off. The gesture felt oddly tender, and he looked away, somewhat embarrassed. "Sorry if I choked you," he said.

Drake chuckled good-naturedly. "I wasn't planning on swallowing, to tell the truth." He turned to kiss JJ back, moving his hand down JJ's side to his ass.

Ted came to think of something. "That wasn't exactly safe, y'know."

"When was the last time you got yourself checked?" Drake asked, breaking free from the kiss just long enough to be able to speak. JJ had thrown himself onto Drake's lap, wrapping his arms round Drake's neck.

"The same time as you guys, last w -- Oh. Right." Ted scratched the back of his head. What a moron he was. These guys were his colleagues; of course he knew they were clean. Their squad had had a physical just last week. And on top of that, he *knew* Drake and JJ, as well as they knew him. They were not the type to play with fire.

"That's the good thing about banging other cops," he thought aloud with a smirk, "you don't need condoms."

Drake turned to look at him when JJ buried his face into the crook of his neck. He had a warm look in his eyes and he was very serious when he said, "No, that's the good thing about banging your friends."

Ted could hardly argue with that. He turned his attention to JJ. "Should I help you out there?" Somehow, it now felt like a completely natural thing to offer. After all, without JJ, they would all still be sporting aching hard-ons.

"Please," JJ said, turning to put his left hand on Ted's shoulder.

Drake turned so that he was facing Ted, with JJ still on his lap. He was practically presenting JJ to him. Drake had one hand wrapped round JJ's waist, and he reached down to grasp JJ's long, slender cock, which was twitching with need. JJ moaned hungrily and pushed his hips up to meet the movements of Drake's hand.

Ted only had a few seconds time to wonder what he should do before Drake looked up at him and told him. "Try giving his nipples a little tease, they're really sensitive." Drake nibbled at JJ's earlobe and kissed at the skin behind JJ's ear, eliciting sighs of pleasure from JJ, who brought his right hand up to hold Drake's head.

Nipples. Okay, he knew nipples. Ted reached out his hands to lay them flat against the little nubs on JJ's chest, then moved his hands up and down in big circles, knowing that his skin was rough from handling a gun. That should bring out some sort of a reaction. JJ arched back, accentuating his hardening nipples, and Ted grew a little bolder. He left the other nipple completely without attention, instead circling the other as softly as he could. He leaned in to give it a sharp lick. JJ squirmed and moaned, "More, senpai, please, more," which made him smile. Heh. Women hadn't complained about his technique, either.

He latched onto the other nipple, sucking mercilessly, while he trapped the other one between two of his fingers and rubbed it slowly. He licked at the rock-hard little nub, alternating between slow licks of his tongue and sharp licks of the end of his tongue. It actually felt pretty good, Ted decided, when he knew how much JJ was enjoying it - from all the noise he was making, it was kind of easy to figure it out. He only stopped when JJ suddenly grasped his shoulder and pushed him away. Ted sat back while Drake milked JJ for all that he was worth. JJ's body squirmed like a snake's on Drake's lap as his come coated his stomach and Drake's hand. His hoarse cry was cut short by Drake's mouth that covered his. Ignoring the mess, Drake wrapped both of his hands around JJ's form and held him fiercely close until JJ began to calm down.

JJ laughed tiredly against Drake's mouth. "Whoa."

Drake smiled. "You can say that again." His gaze left JJ for the first time in quite a while. "Oh, God, this car is a mess. Look, the windows are steamed up."

Ted reached out for his discarded tee-shirt and wiped at his own recuperating cock, then offered it to him with a shrug. Drake took it and laughed. "Hope you don't need to wear this tonight."

"I have a denim shirt," Ted said. As he pulled up his boxers and started to put on his jeans, his eyes fell on his wristwatch and he whistled. "Hey, guys. Guess what."

He got no answer, so he glanced up and saw that JJ and Drake had engaged in yet another kiss that excluded the rest of the world in the middle of tidying each other up. Ted reached out to tap Drake's knee. "Guys. The shift's been over for twenty minutes. Let's get the car back and go home."

JJ bounced up and grabbed the tee-shirt from Drake. "We better clean it up a little before we return it, though." He winked up at Ted, who couldn't help smirking a bit, and proceeded to briskly wipe at the come stains on the backseat. They put their clothes on in satisfied silence, and JJ opened the door and returned to his place behind the steering wheel. Drake remained on the backseat, leaning against the back lazily.


The drive back to the station through the night-time New York City was quiet. Drake sighed and closed his eyes. Ted looked at him, wondering what this would mean for their work relationship. Probably not much. He didn't feel uncomfortable around either of the other two. What had happened had been about release, not about feelings or any of the really complicated stuff. When he turned to look out of the window, he felt an odd kind of melancholy as he realized he had forgotten all about Teena. All that remained was a memory of that first spark that flew between them, and the colour of the setting summer sun.

JJ drove the patrol car precisely into the right spot in the garage, and they exited to the still warm night air. Drake and JJ were arguing playfully about who got to carry their groceries to JJ's car. Ted lingered a bit. He didn't like the thought of getting into his car and going back to his place, where only the smell of missed chances waited for him.

JJ turned to look at him. He was smiling, the way someone who's in love smiles. "Well, good night, Ted-senpai."

"Yeah, g'night," Ted said, waving his hand listlessly. "See you guys on Monday."

Drake and JJ exchanged glances. Then they walked back to him, and put their hands on his shoulders, starting to lead him along with them. Ted startled and struggled a bit, but the two were steadfast.

"Now, Ted, stop struggling, I'm pretty sure I saw some strawberries in the fridge," Drake said conversationally.

"And I could swear we have some whipping cream left from the day before yesterday," JJ continued smoothly.

Ted laughed nervously. "Ah. Sounds good?"

Drake leaned in close, much too close for friends, and spoke seriously against his neck. "No way in hell are we leaving you alone right now. What are friends for, anyway?"

That hit something deep inside Ted. He looked at JJ on his left side, and JJ looked back. His smile was contagious. "I should know, shouldn't I?" he muttered, and wrapped his arms round his two colleagues' shoulders, giving them a quick hug as they walked into the warm night that waited for them.


=End