Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Redefining Heaven ❯ One Chair Short ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: Fake and all characters relating to Fake are not my intellectually property, I just borrow them. All new characters are the sole property of me and cannot be used in anyway with out my expressed written consent. Don't sue, I'm poor.

 

Redefining Heaven

Chapter Eight: One Chair Short

By: Irish

 

Rated R

Warnings: Explicit Language, graphic violence, adult situations

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Dee returned nearly an hour later, managing to carry four Styrofoam cups, two in each hand, looking just as chewed up as he did when he had left.

 

“Any change?” He asked, knowing there wasn't

 

“Nope. None. What's that, coffee?” Ryo indicated the cups with his head. He was sitting in a padded chair besides Bikky, holding his hand.

 

“No, tea, and they had powdered soup mix. It looks like shit, but we need to eat, its been...” he paused, trying to remember when they had last eaten. “Sixteen hours.”

 

“Yeah.” Ryo sighed, standing and taking one of each from Dee, freeing his hands a little bit. “Thanks.” He had no doubt the tea would be just as he liked it, or the closest Dee could manage. “You haven't slept at all.”

 

“Neither have you, really.” Dee shrugged, there was only one chair in the room, and the nurses didn't seem to think they warranted a second. He wasn't about to steal Ryo's seat.

 

“I dozed some.” And he must have slept at least a little bit, it was nearly twenty four hours since they had woken up, and by this time Ryo knew the floor would be moving, if he hadn't slept at all.

 

“Well, I haven't mastered sleeping on my feet just yet.” Dee shrugged, leaning back against the wall, sipping at his... well honestly Dee couldn't tell if it was the soup or the tea, they were both the same piss-yellow color. What he assumed to be the soup had some chunks of something that had the texture of pebbles floating in it.

 

“Sit. I've been sitting a while now. I asked for another chair, but...” he shrugged “The orderly hasn't been back since.”

 

“Isn't amazing?” Dee rolled his eyes. “I garnet you if one of us was a woman, that chair would have been here when we got here.”

 

“Not everything is like that. He probably just got busy. Doctor --I don't remember, the red head-- was perfectly polite.” Almost helpful, actually. Ryo knew the hospital didn't have to let Dee be here.

 

“He's queer.” Dee shrugged, pushing off the wall. He went around to Bikky's right side, leaning down and kissing the one smooth spot on his face before hitching a hip on the bed. “Hey bud.” he murmured to Bikky.

 

“Oh he is not.” Ryo rolled his eyes, it felt wrong to be talking about anything other then Bikky right now... but at the same time, it was a relief. It meant that things were as normal as they could be under the circumstances, that he and Dee were still what they had always been, partners, friends, lovers.

 

“Five bucks says he is.” Dee glanced at Ryo, a corner of his mouth turning up faintly.

 

“Like you have two nickels to rub together Laytner.” Ryo's banter was tired and half hearted at best.

 

“Ha! I have three.” Dee looked down at Bikky, smiling a little. Bikky loved that, the friendly teasing. Sometimes Bik went a little far, but Dee never faulted him for it. “I'll borrow the other four eighty-five from the Bikster.” He didn't expect any response from Bikky, but he couldn't help but hope. Bikky was very tight fisted with his cash.

 

“Well crud, that had been my plan.” Ryo replied, faking normalcy.

 

“I'll let you pay me in services rendered.” Dee winked half heartedly.

 

“You wish.” Ryo snorted, kissing Bikky's knuckles. “Five bucks wouldn't get you far, I'm not cheap.”

 

“Just easy.”

 

At this point, Bikky was usually throwing a fit about the two of them, telling Dee to keep his perverted paws to himself, and berating Ryo for talking about those things in front of children. It was all part of the schtick. Their own private little standup routine.

 

“I bet he's more upset about his hair then his leg.” Dee said, glancing down at the stump, touching the thigh gently, not too close to the bandages, not wanting to cause him any pain.

 

“Nothing would surprise me from him.” Ryo tugged the sheet a little higher on Bikky's chest, he felt chilled. “You know, I wish we could put some clothes on him or some thing. He feels so chilled.”

 

Dee touched his shoulder, frowning “Yeah, he does. Why don't they have a gown on him?” Dee stood up and was unbuttoning his work shirt, which he had been wearing in his preferred style of half open with a tank top underneath.

 

“Probably because of the shunt.” Ryo indicated the small tube sticking out of his bandages. “And with his arms...”

 

Dee slipped out of his shirt and draped it gently over Bikky's still form, tucking the sides of his shirt around Bikky, careful that it didn't cover the tubing in his chest.

 

Ryo immediately readjusted the shirt once Dee's hands were out of the way, the essence of a mother hen, sighing softly. “I hope that's okay.” He murmured, making sure Bikky was covered, but the shunt wasn't.

 

Dee nodded, shrugging back into his holster. Ryo was still wearing his as well, unsure what to do with it, not feeling like he could just leave it laying about.

 

“I think, in a few hours, I'm going to go home, get some things for us, and him.” Dee caressed Bikky gently before getting up and going back around to the other side of the bed and sitting down in their one chair, drawing Ryo down onto his lap, making sure he was within easy reach of Bikky's prone form. “We need to have some kind of plan here. This is... not going to be a short visit.”

 

“No doubt. We have paid time off.” Ryo settled in Dee's lap, not giving a damn if some nurse or orderly walked in, if they weren't going to give them another chair, then they could just deal with the homoeroticism.

 

“Yes, we do. About two weeks each of us.” Dee nodded, leaning his head back against the wall, and adjusting Ryo's holster so it wasn't gouging either of them. “It will last longer, if we don't take our time off at the same time. Four weeks instead of two.”

 

“Yeah...” Ryo nodded, he didn't like that, he didn't want to work with out Dee at his back, and it would be hard to work all day, then come to the hospital for the night. He had no doubt one of them would be with Bikky twenty four hours a day.

 

“If... if we need to, we can work opposite shifts.” Dee didn't want to think about this hell lasting longer then a month.

 

“That... lets not think that far out, just yet. Do we want to alternate days, or what?” Ryo asked, laying his head on Dee's shoulder, closing his eyes as well.

 

“Lets...” Dee thought a moment. “I think, we both need a couple days before either of us goes back. Maybe I can call around and switch shifts, so these can just be our days off for the week.”

 

“You know,” Ryo hesitated, biting his lip. This was going to go over like the Hindenberg. “Its not like we need both of us to work.” Ryo had a trust fund. It wasn't huge, but the interest it made in a year was almost the same as Dee's salary. Dee insisted on everything being right down the middle though, even though even with out the trust fund, Dee made around seventy five cents to Ryo's dollar.

 

Dee stiffened as Ryo had predicted, but surprisingly, he didn't speak right away. He had started to, his mouth opening, but he closed it again, and waited. Ryo wondered if he was counting to ten, or what. It took him so long to say something Ryo was starting to get even more nervous.

 

“You're right.” He said finally. “We don't.” There was another long pause. “But you're going to be the one taking the time off then.”

 

Ryo sat up a little on Dee's lap. “Pardon? Did you just tell me what to do?”

 

“No. I said if one of us takes extra time off. It will have to be you. Because if I stop getting paid, I can't make rent.” Dee replied evenly.

 

“Dee, that's just stupid. Not to put too fine a point on it, but we both know I make more.” Dee's income was expendable. Ryo had made ends meet just fine on his salary alone. They hadn't really incurred any extra expenses since they had consolidated households. Dee paying half of rent and utilities had been silly, and that had been their first major fight, but Dee had been adamant.

 

“Yup. I know. But I still have half of rent to pay. You can make your half and not work.”

 

“Okay, you know what? That's in four weeks. We have no idea where we'll be at in four weeks. Lets not do this now.” Ryo said, rubbing his temples. He shouldn't have brought it up, not now. Money was always a tense issue.

 

Dee let out a slow breath, resting his head back and closing his eyes again, his arms hugging Ryo a little closer, tucking him against his shoulder “You are right. This is absolutely not the time. I'm sorry.”

 

“Hey, it was my fault too.” Ryo replied, kissing his bare shoulder. “We're both just exhausted.”

 

“I know. Try and sleep.” Dee murmured, his hand stroking along ryo's spine in a way that he knew made Ryo purr.

 

“You too Dee.” Ryo lifted his head long enough to kiss his chin briefly, before resting it against Dee's shoulder again, one hand resting on Bikky's fingers, the other on Dee's chest. He closed his eyes slowly. The beep and whoosh of the machines taking care of his son faded into tense elusive dreams, but sleep, light as it was, did come.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Ryo woke some time later, he wasn't sure how long, time had ceased to exist. Dee was still asleep, and rather deeply so, Ryo judged, by the soft snoring and how he could tell Dee's eyes were moving under his eyelids. Even in the dull gray light filtering into the room, even with lines of worry and tension between his eyes and mouth, he was a very handsome man.

 

He could hear the hum of Bikky's life sustaining machines next to him, just out of his line of sight, and Ryo thought perhaps he should be looking at and thinking about his critically injured son, not his lover. He needed a moment though, selfish or not, Ryo just needed a moment to gather himself and Dee soothed him. He didn't need to be awake, or even paying attention to Ryo, but Ryo always felt soothed when he was near. The world was just a little less scary.

 

Slowly, Ryo slipped from Dee's lap, his ass numb as well as both legs from the knee down and he had the crick from hell in his neck. Dee probably was fairing at least as bad, Ryo reflected with a sigh, touching a slightly stubbled cheek, before learning down and kissing his beloved's forehead.

 

`Thank God for Dee,' Ryo thought, and was rather surprised at it. He paused, fingers lingering on Dee's cheek, his lips finding a stubbled chin and kissing that as well. For a moment, just a moment, Ryo suddenly understood how Dee saw the world. Every bad thing that happened, every time Dee got kicked when he was down... he didn't blame God, he thanked Him that it wasn't worse.

 

Ryo finally lifted his head and straightened, turning to his son. It could have been worse. Bikky could be dead, with no chance. Right now, slim as it was, there was a chance. The detective doubted he would ever be able to thank God for such a small break... but he understood how Dee could. When you only had small breaks... you took them.

 

“Bikky...” Ryo whispered, caressing the back of one hand, normally the color of coffee with a little cream, now the color of ash. “Don't you leave us.” he whispered, feeling tears hot behind his eyes. “Don't you dare.” There was no hair to smooth from Bikky's brow, no place Ryo could touch him with out fear of causing him pain. All he wanted was to hold his son.

 

He needed to breath. The walls of the room suddenly felt smaller, and Ryo could feel his heart speed up. He hadn't had a panic attack since Dee had moved in, but he felt one looming. He closed his eyes tight a moment. Now was not the time.

 

After counting slowly backwards from twenty, Ryo finally dared move, to unclench his jaw and his fist. He opened his eyes and kissed Bikky's hand briefly. “Don't worry, Dee's right here with you.” He murmured. The panic was still hot in his chest, but he had it under control for now.

 

He turned to Dee, kneeling down next to him, starting to unbuckle his holster and slip it off his shoulders, without waking him. No easy task, Dee woke so very easily, always on alert. “Its okay baby,” Ryo whispered, close to his ear. “Its just me, let me take this off you.”

 

It worked, it usually did, and without waking Dee actually lifted his shoulders enough for Ryo to slid the holster free of them. Ryo had learned, after a time, that Dee responded, even in the deepest sleep, and just telling him what was going on, usually kept him asleep. He wondered at how Dee ever got any rest, if he was alert enough even in deep sleep, to hear and understand him.

 

That task managed, Ryo carefully took Dee's service revolver out of the holster, not sure what to do with it. He wanted to take it home with him and put it away so they didn't have to worry about it, but he didn't want it in his hands, even in the holster. With a sigh he supposed he'd have to go ghetto on this one, and untucked his shirt, tucked the gun into his pants at the small of his back, and tucked his shirt back in around it.

 

That achieved, he wrapped up the holster in its own straps, then kissed Dee once more, before exiting hastily. He strode through the hospital, taking the steps down to the ground floor. Dee still had the car keys, but Ryo didn't want to drive anyway. He headed out, away from the hospital, walking fast, trying to burn on the nervousness and anxiety. Trying to clear his mind. He needed to get back to meditating daily.

 

It was several miles back to his apartment, and though Ryo would have gladly walked the whole way, he didn't want to be gone that long. Instead he walked several blocks, watching the city that never slept change its shifts. He could see prostitutes making there way away from their corners, people driving or walking to work, others departing from it. THe world had just kept right on moving.

 

Ryo finally hopped the subway, as the sun had managed to rise enough to be seen over the horizon of buildings. He got off several stops early , and again walked. When he entered their apartment, he stopped just in the door, looking around, it was almost like a foreign land. As though he and Dee had been at the hospital for weeks instead of a day.

 

It took him long moments to shake himself out of his daze and melancholy. He kicked the door shut rather harshly, and went into the living room, flicking on some music. Michelle Branch, of all the ungodly things, why it was in the stereo Ryo had no clue, but it was a bit catchy, and it didn't let him dwell.

 

that done, and the apartment no longer silent, he went about the business of getting done what needed doing. The guns he locked away carefully. He took a quick shower and changed, brushed his teeth, almost as though he was going to work. Instead of moving on to wake Bikky and tell Dee the shower was free, as he normally would have, he went to the closet he shared with Dee.

 

It was very full, which amused Ryo to no end. He and Dee both were clothes horses, it would seem. Even this morning, it made him smile. No, no they weren't gay at all... there were only about ten pairs of shoes in the bottom of the closet, and a rainbow of ties on the back wall. Nope. No queers here.

 

He surprised himself, even jumping, when a small giggle escaped him, which made him laugh even more. It wasn't true laughter, instead it bordered on hysteria, but it was laughter and not tears, and Ryo didn't bother trying to stop it. He did try to work through it though, not wanting to stop for a giggle fit.

 

Whose half of the closet was whose was very easy to distinguish, and it had nothing to do with the size difference either. Ryo's half was all mellow earth tones, all kinds of browns and

greens, a very few rusty maroons, some black and gray. All very sensible, all very unremarkable.

 

Dee's half, jeweled tones, reds, blues, greens, even some purple. Lots of black, a little gray and a lot of denim. It was almost artistic with all that color. Ryo was just glad Dee had fashion sense and some taste, with all that color it could have been disastrous otherwise.

 

Ryo tossed some of his own clothes on the bed, nothing exciting, nothing too dressy, even though that was generally what he preferred. A couple changes of Dee's clothes followed. Dee's ipod, his own laptop and a couple paperbacks. In Bikky's room, he paused, unsure what to grab, clothes seemed moot... socks maybe? He'd only need half as many.

 

Ryo cringed, fingers tightening on the dresser, biting his lip. God... how would life ever be the same? How would Bikky ever be the same? It wouldn't, Bikky wouldn't. There was no going back now. And it had been at his word that the leg had been removed. His choice. How could he have done that to his son?

 

Tears that he had been battling since the hospital overwhelmed all his defenses, though Ryo battled desperately to keep it together. His shoulders started to shake as he leaned more on Bikky's dresser, dropping his face to his arms, biting down on sobs, his throat aching as hot tears cut paths down his cheeks.

 

Why? That was the question that chased in Ryo's head. Why Bikky? Why them? Why could nothing be easy? Why could none of them ever catch a break? Why? Why? Why? And there was no answer. None.

 

Ryo's knees gave and he sank slowly to the floor, to his knees, then leaning over onto one hip, resting his head against the wall, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth to keep ragged weeping to himself.

 

He sat like that for what felt like ages, tears running down his cheeks, along his jaw, then dropping to the floor or his shirt. Even when the sobs slowed to sniffles, he sat unmoving, unable to summon the will to press forward for a long moment. Finally though he pushed him self to his feet.

 

Ryo wiped his face with a shirt sleeve, still sniffling as he continued about his business, finding Bikky's ipod and portable speakers, the stuffed rabbit that was his comfort object, and looked like it might be a biohazard, no matter how Ryo tried to clean it. Finally, he made his way back to Bikky's sock drawer.

 

Breathing deeply, he opened it slowly, as though a wolverine were lurking in there, not Hanes tube socks. Sure enough, there were probably two dozen neatly paired and rolled socks, a wide variety for Bikky's different athletic pursuits, but in one corner of the drawer, easily a dozen partnerless socks. Singles whose mate had been lost in what ever twilight zone lost socks went to.

 

Small breaks. It was all about the small breaks.

 

Ryo scooped up the singletons and stuffed them in the bag as well, shutting the drawer quickly before he could look again at all those neat pairs. He grabbed a couple of Bikky's books as well, both his and Dee's toiletries, some food, a throw blanket from the back of the couch, and then finally, he was on his way, locking the apartment behind him.

 

Dee was awake by the time Ryo returned, and gave him a wan smile. A nurse was checking Bikky's vitals, Dee seeming to be invisible to her. Ryo smiled back to his lover briefly, setting the duffle down on the floor beside the chair. Still the only one in the room. Maybe Dee was right, Ryo reflected, maybe some things really were like that. Intentional slights.

 

He went over to Dee, who was standing now, leaning against the wall, caressing his cheek, looking up into tired and soulful green eyes, touching an olive cheek. Dee managed another smile just for him, resting a hand on Ryo's shoulder. They backed each other, always, one hundred and ten percent, and if a few homophobic nurses thought that leaving them with only one chair would change that, that making their disapproval known would somehow shame them into more socially acceptable behavior, obviously they didn't know just how deep loyalty and love could run.

Ryo went up on tiptoe, wrapping his arms around Dee's neck, kissing him soundly, lingering just a moment, not put off by the stubble on Dee's chin, and not giving a flying fuck about the nurse.

 

“Babe?” Dee asked, sounding a little surprised, it was rare Ryo ever displayed their love so publicly.

 

“'morning, handsome.” Ryo smiled, like the sun breaking through clouds, and that's how Ryo felt, having gone through dark moments, he was ready to press forward again. Life just kept moving, no matter how much you wanted it to stop. And sometimes, you only got one chair, but that was one chair more then no chairs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note: Yes I know, its been ages since I've updated. That's just the way it goes it seems, so be patient everyone, I'm not dead just slow. I'm sure you all are dying for another chapter of Delicate as well, I'm still working on it, don't worry. Thanks for your patients with my slow way of working.