Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Redefining Heaven ❯ Second Hand Psalms ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: Fake and all characters relating to Fake are not my intellectually property, I just borrow them. All new characters are the sole property of me and cannot be used in anyway with out my expressed written consent. Don't sue, I'm poor.

 

Redefining Heaven

Chapter Nine: Second Hand Psalms

By: Irish

 

Rated R

Warnings: Explicit Language, graphic violence, adult situations

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Bikky looked around, surprised, he stood in the living room of the apartment he, Ryo, and now Dee lived in. He couldn't remember where he had just been, what room he had stepped from so that he was now standing in the living room. In the kitchen, he could hear music, and laughter.

 

“Dee! Dee! Oh my god! What are you doing!” Ryo was laughing, gasping. Not the laughing and sputtering that came when Dee was being a pervert, but when Dee was doing something silly. Bikky felt himself smile, peering around the corner to see what was going on in the kitchen.

 

The table had been pushed up against a wall, the rugs smooshed up against them as well. Something was in the oven, and dishes were in the sink. Dee had been cooking, Bikky assumed, since there was no pot of noodles boiling on the stove. The radio was cranked up and some lame song from before Bikky had been born was on.

 

“...I've set my sights with you, and no one else will do, and I, I've got have my way now baby, all I know is that to me, you look like your having fun, open up your loving arms and watch out here I come.” Dee sung along, Ryo was bushing hotly as Dee tried to get him to dance, mostly just dancing around him, getting down with his bad self. Bikky had to giggle, Dee doing all kinds of retarded moves from the eighties, but with an impressive sense of rhythm.

 

“Dee, I don't dance!” Ryo protested, still laughing, revolving slowly to watch Dee move from the `lawn mower' to an energetic disco. “I'm asian, we dance worse then white people!”

 

Dee shrugged, as if he couldn't hear Ryo, clamping an arm around his waist and pulling Ryo flush against him, holding him tight as the chorus came around, forcing Ryo's body into rhythm with his. Bikky preferred not to think of why it was that Ryo fell into rhythm and tempo so quick once he was pressed against Dee.

 

“.. you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round round round...” Dee was grinning like a retard, still singing as he and Ryo moved, forward and back, showing Ryo's body how to move. After a moment he stepped back just a little, so Bikky could have at least slipped a dime between them, and one of Ryo's hands came to rest on Dee's side, Dee's hands on Ryo's hips.

 

Bikky leaned against the door frame, watching them dance, Dee eventually managing to get Ryo to execute a spin. Ryo laughing the whole time. Bikky would never admit it, but he loved to see them like this, both of them so happy, relaxed... appropriately dorky for adults.

 

“Do you remember this?”

 

Bikky nearly jumped out of his sneakers, the query coming from just behind him. The blonde boy spun quickly, and glared.

 

“What are you doing here?” It was Jude again. The warmth he felt a moment ago evaporated as he realized he did remember this exact scene. It had happened a couple weeks ago. The next song would be-

 

“You've got your ball, you've got your chain, tied to me tight, tie me up again. Whose got their claws in you my friend, into your heart, I beat again. Sweet like candy to my soul, sweet your rock and sweet you roll. Lost for you, I'm so lost for you. Oh when you come crash... into me. And I come into you...”

 

They had shifted, Dee's arm coming around Ryo's waist, Ryo's hand automatically coming to his shoulder, the fingers of their free hands laced together. Dee sung, his voice smoother than that of Dave Mathews, right on pitch. Bikky watched, a knot in his throat as their eyes met, and didn't part. He wasn't sure anyone would understand how he felt.

 

“Its good to see them together, isn't it?” Jude asked quietly, once again uncannily picking up on Bikky's train of thought.

 

“Yeah, I mean, not like I like like it. But... like, I'm glad they stopped being retards.”

 

“It feels good to know they love each other, because then you'll always have both of them, doesn't it? You know neither of them is going away.” Jude's voice was still soft, his curly hair wild about his head, glancing between the slow dancing detectives and Bikky.

 

“I fucking hate how you do that.” Bikky growled. “Get out of my head. I don't know how you do it, but its just creepy, dude.”

 

“Sorry sport, its in my job description.” The young man smiled slightly.

 

“They notice me at the next song. Why am I having like, a dream sequence?” Bikky glanced around. This was more than a memory. A spike of fear rose in him suddenly. “Am I dead?!” A frown crossed his face, he remembered... something... Cal screaming, a impact...

 

“No Bikky, you're not dead.” There was a tone to what Jude said, a certain sorrow.

 

“What the hell is going on!” Bikky stamped his foot, seeing the scene continue to play out before him, Dee and Ryo looking to the doorway, a fast song coming on again. Bikky could see himself moving into the kitchen with them.

 

“Oh my god, you guys are so embarrassing!”

 

“Its in the job description, sport.” Dee laughed, and Bikky watched as Dee dragged Bikky's second-self a little closer, dancing around him.

 

“Its okay, Bikky, you're not dead, I promise. I'm here because you're not dead, actually.” Jude said quickly, holding his hands up, light palms outward.

 

Now all three of them were busting out their dorkiest dance moves.

 

“So why am I dreaming? Or Remembering, or whatever?! And why do I know I'm doing it! That's not supposed to happen!”

 

“You're unconscious, sport. That's all.” Jude's eyes shifted slightly, and Bikky's narrowed. That was only a half truth.

 

“That's not all.” Bikky accused coldly, hands fisting at his sides. “I want to wake up!”

 

“You can't, not yet. You're body needs to rest. So does your mind. That's why you're sort of... spirit dreaming. To let your mind rest. Dee asked me to look after you. He doesn't want you to be frightened... he's praying very hard on your behalf.” Jude's green eyes watched him, and Bikky wanted to punch the empathy right out of him.

 

“I'd be worried, but Dee prays if the wind changes direction.” Bikky snorted. He was worried though, very worried. What was that thudding impact he remembered? Cal screaming? What the hell had happened?

 

Bikky glanced to the kitchen again. The music had stopped, neither Dee nor Ryo, nor his second-self were there any longer. The table was back in place, as were the rugs. The boy sighed deeply and turned away.

 

“Why are we here?”

 

“You tell me, its your memory, I'm just tagging along.” Jude smiled. “Maybe because this is home? Maybe it makes you feel better?”

 

“Maybe.” He glanced around the living room. The sun had been setting a moment ago, now though, as he turned fully to the windows on the opposite side of the room, it was full dark. Bikky's second-self, his memory of himself, he supposed, was laying on the floor in a sleeping bag, on his stomach. Cal was right beside him, also on her stomach. Both of them had their head's pillowed on their arms, facing each other. Their elbows not quite touching.

 

“My aunt doesn't like me having sleep overs any more, not with you. I had to really beg to get her to let me.” Cal half whispered, making a token gesture at being quiet.

 

“Why not? That's stupid! She lets you have Keisha over.” Bikky's second-self snorted, rolling his eyes. Bikky's current-self knew though, and knew that he had known at the time. They were getting too old. He had heard Ryo talking about that to Dee in hushed voices as they had gotten ready for bed.

 

“Are you sure we should let them still have slumber parties... I mean, we know how they feel about each other.”

 

“They won't fool around. Maybe if there was some actual privacy... but there isn't. We'd hear them. They hear us.”

 

“They hear us?! Dee!”

 

“Relax, it won't warp them. Christ, its not like we're having bondage orgies.”

 

“But Dee!”

 

“Okay, so we'll stop having sex.”

 

“Well... uh...”

 

“That's what I thought. Besides, if they're going to fool around, its not like they're going to have a hard time finding a time or place to do it. Not with our hours. Cal's aunt isn't around too much more than we are. Relax.”

 

Bikky smirked to himself. Yeah, he called Dee the pervert, but Ryo wasn't the choir boy he liked to pretend to be. Dee was right though, it was just sex. Bikky usual just put on his headphones, just glad they were together.

 

“Well, cuz, like, you're a guy. She thinks we'll do stuff.” Cal shrugged, shifting a little in her own sleeping bag as Bikky returned his attention to the living memory.

 

“Yeah, but we won't. Not `til your eighteen.” Not that he didn't want to do stuff. He wanted to do all kinds of `stuff'. Of course, the only `stuff' he was doing was with himself, and he really had only just sorted all that out.

 

“That's what I said. She doesn't believe me.” There was a long pause. “Do you think I'm stupid, wanting to wait that long?”

 

“No. I mean, it makes sense, to not... not have... you know.” Bikky's second-self cleared his throat, shifting a bit, trying to make things under the sleeping bag more comfortable, thoughts of `you know' have the predictable effect. Not that he wasn't thinking about `you know' in some way every other waking moment.

 

“Yeah...”

 

A rhythmic thump-and-squeek could be heard from the next room in the silence, and Bikky's second-self buried his face in his arms, blushing hotly.

 

“Oh my god! They're so retarded!”

 

“Retarded for each other. Maybe we should play video games or something?” Cal laughed, after all, it wasn't her parents having sex, and she seemed to feel more like Dee and Ryo

were elder siblings, not parents.

 

“Right.” Bikky watched himself roll over twice, and turn on the TV and game system, careful to stay in his sleeping bag.

 

“You care about her a lot, don't you?” Jude too had been watching the exchange.

 

“What's it to you? Do you ever stop with the damnhellass questions?” Bikky snapped. They had started to play a racing game, one with a constant soundtrack.

 

“Nope. Sorry.” Jude didn't sound sorry.

 

“Whatever.” Bikky rolled his eyes. He remembered he let Cal win this round. “You're worse than Ryo.”

 

“Somehow, I don't find that offensive.” He chuckled and shrugged. In the next room, the thumping had grown louder.

 

“Oh my god! What are they, hanging pictures!” Cal laughed, turning up the volume a bit on the video game.

 

“I wish!”

 

“You must be lame than too.” Bikky crossed his arms, turning away for a moment, hugging himself. It had been nice to be home at first, but as he watched life, even if it was past life, move on without being able to participate, it started to scare him. He didn't want to watch his family, he wanted to be with them!

 

“Dee is with you right now...” Jude offered tentatively. “I can show you what he's doing, you won't be able to talk to him either though. It will feel really weird. But if it will help...” The man seemed unsure.

 

“Yes. I want to see him. Now.” Bikky replied immediately. He would have preferred Ryo, not for the reason that Dee though, that Bikky loved him any less, but because Ryo was the comforter, the one you went to when it hurt on the inside, or when you were confused-scared. Dee was who you went to when you wanted something fixed or acted on, or when you were actually afraid of something. The protector. Bikky wanted to be comforted.

 

“Alright...” Jude seemed hesitant, “Close your eyes.”

 

Bikky closed his eyes, hugging himself still. There was a sensation of weightlessness, of floating for long moments, then a downward tug. There was a snap, like when his locked his padlock at school. A weight settled on him, almost like the lead smocks they put over his chest when he got X-rays at the dentist, only heavier, and all over. He couldn't move anything. The Darkness cleared, and he was looking straight up at a blank ceiling. There was a hazy redness to his vision. He tried to look around, but found he could not.

 

Soft guitar chords were coming from near by, an acoustic. Very near by, as though someone were playing just inches from his head. Bikky recognized the tune. It was by `Live'.

 

“I don't need no one, to tell me `bout heaven. I look in my son, and I believe. I don't need no proof, when it comes to God and truth, I can see the sunset, and I perceive.” Dee's baritone rolled smoothly, softly, over him. It was Dee playing his acoustic. His `mistress' as he called it. It came out of its case after dinner sometimes, when Dee went out on the fire escape to smoke. He never actually played for Ryo and Bikky, but Bikky would sit down on the couch with Ryo, listening, the TV turned on mute. They would turn the sound back on as soon as Dee stopped. Dee was playing for him now though.

 

“Sit with them all night, everything they say is right, but in the morning they were wrong. I'll be right by your side. Come hell or water high. Down any road you chose to roam. I'll believe it, when I see it for myself. I don't need no one, to tell me about heaven. I look in my son, and I believe. I don't need no proof, when it comes to God and truth. I see the sun set and I perceive...”

 

Not just for him, Bikky realized. Dee was playing to him. Changing the words to fit, it was supposed to be `I don't need no one to tell me about heaven, I look at my daughter and I believe.'. Bikky was positive of that. He knew the song pretty well.

 

“I believe... yeah...” Dee finished the song, letting his voice trail off, playing the main rifts of the song a couple more times, before he stopped. There was a deep sigh to Bikky's right, the gently, melodic plunk of the guitar being set aside, the creak of a chair, then suddenly Dee was in his line of sight, looking down at him.

 

“Bikky?!” There was total surprise in Dee's face, a relief. It only lasted a moment though, and then Dee sighed again. “The doctors said that might happen. Ah well.” Dee's face looked... haggard, if that was possible. He looked all of his thirty years, instead of the constant early twenties he usually looked. There were dark smudges under his eyes, a faint evidence of lines around his mouth.

 

The doctors said what might happen? Bikky tried to say. He thought it, clear as anything, but there wasn't even the sensation of a muscle twitch in his face. A moment later though, there was a light touch of rough fingers against his cheek.

 

“Its okay tiger, your dad will be back soon. He's just getting fresh air. We love you. Just hang in there, okay?” Dee smiled, or made an attempt at one. It hardly got off the launch pad before dying though.

 

Bikky wanted to focus on Dee, actually meet his eyes, but he couldn't. Dee leaned down close, and went all blurry. He felt a brush of lips over his forehead. The weight that lay on him, seemed to increase, and darkness started to hedge at the edge of Bikky's vision.

 

No, wait, stop! I don't want to go! He thought frantically. Something was wrong, so very wrong. He had never seen Dee looked worried, not ever. Not even when Dee was shot, and lowering Bikky out a second story window of a building on the verge of exploding.

 

“Its okay Bikky, its time. You're mind and body need to rest.” Jude's gentle voice called from somewhere near by.

 

The blackness deepened, and Dee disappeared entirely from his vision, and Bikky felt like he were falling.

 

“I love you, Bikky. We're both here for you.” That was Dee's voice, now sounding faint and echoey as if he were calling down a well. Then there was nothing for a long time.

 

 

 

Author's Note: The songs used are `You Spin Me Right Round' by Dead or Alive, `Crash' by Dave Matthew's Band, and `Heaven' by Live. I hope this chapter doesn't feel too random. I'm always a little nervous about these `dream sequences'. I do have the next chapter about half finished, but I make no promises, because when I do I usually end up not keeping them ~_~; Thanks for sticking with me.