Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Revelations & Medications ❯ Hard Night Out ( Chapter 2 )

A great big, loving thanks to my beta, L. Her encouragement means the world to me. Without her, I wouldn't be able to read my own stuff because I would get too disgusted at the grammatical errors. And I didn't have to hold a very big gun to her head to make her read the Manga ;-)>.

Another great big THANK YOU!!!! to my reviewers.

Here you go - what was bothering our boy Dee….

 

Revelations and Medications - Part I - About Dee

 

Chapter 2 - Hard Night Out

 

Squirt in the eye, some painful byproducts of cheap lemon

 

A few days later, Ryo and Dee actually got off of their shift by early evening, meaning that they could try a place they had heard about from some new friends. Their night got a big boost when Ryo got a text message as soon as they stepped out of the subway. It was Bikky begging to stay over at Carol's house. After a quick call to Carol's aunt to make sure it was okay and that the children were doing homework, Ryo could announce they had the night to themselves.

The restaurant turned out to be everything promised to them and more. Good food and a respectable wine list was par for the course in this neighborhood, but this place had a special ambiance. The narrow and dark dining room only had 20 tables, all of them the little half moon booths that were so wonderful for snuggling up with your date. The icing on the cake for Ryo was that each booth was almost completely enclosed by frosted partitions so that once seated they could not see or be seen by any of the other patrons. Ryo almost immediately took advantage of this fact by surprising Dee with a deep kiss while the other man was still putting his napkin in his lap.

The second he was released from this surprise assault, Dee growled, “Oh, I already know that I am going to like this place.” Dee put his arm around Ryo's shoulders and gave Ryo another kiss.

Dee's attempt to keep his arm around Ryo all through the meal almost caused a small disaster half way through the night. Dee had tried to cut his steak with just the side of his fork and with his left hand and Dee's entire entrée almost landed in their laps. They laughed so hard that even their discreet server had to poke his head in. Their waiter only needed a split second to take in the two lovers with their arms still around each other and Dee's plate perilously close to the edge of the table; all the food slid to one side. The waiter then flashed them a small knowing smile and left them again throwing Dee and Ryo back into laughter.

The desert was decadent and the coffee smooth. They were having a wonderful time, feeling privileged that they didn't have to be home at any certain time and that once home they would be alone. Ryo suggested that they might want to grab a drink or even go to a club for a little while.

Dee readily agreed to continuing their night but once they were out on the street he seemed to suddenly sober up. Ryo was about to ask if Dee would rather just go home and enjoy an early night when Dee looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Ryo, do you mind if we go to this certain place I know?” Dee asked.

“Sure,” Ryo said wondering what this was all about.

“It's a club on the edge of the Village, but it's kind of in a not so nice place.” When Ryo raised an eyebrow Dee went on, “Don't worry, it's nothing weird. We'll just have a drink, maybe dance a little; talk. But there is a reason that I want to go to this one place.”

“If that's where you would like to go, that's fine,” Ryo said and started to follow Dee into the subway, thinking that despite what Dee said there was something weird about this.

As soon as they turned the corner Ryo understood Dee's cryptic description. The place they were heading to looked fairly nice, if a little run down in a very New York kind of way. The clientele was much like themselves; young and not so young professionals well dressed and easy going and looking for a pleasant night out.

The rest of the street was very different. At the far end of the block there seemed to be two or three very different establishments; bars that seemed to only have patrons that wore leather or short shorts. In the street there was an entire fleet of motorcycles, some actually parked on the sidewalk. In between these two opposite ends, the street was crawling with men, or more precisely men and boys. The boys were obviously for sale. The handball court halfway down the block looked to be a virtual sex supermarket. All Ryo could see was a sea of big, hungry eyes. “Oh, those poor boys…” Ryo started to say.

Dee didn't seem to hear Ryo's comment, saying only, “In here,” as he smiled and grabbed Ryo's arm.

It was a nice quiet club. There was a bit of a meat market going on right next to the bar, but Ryo could just tell somehow that it wasn't really serious. This was flirting for sport, most of the participants planning on leaving with the one that brought them. At the tables and on the little dance floor it was mostly couples and groups of friends. Here and there Ryo could spot an obvious third-wheel by their bored looks and how they were trying to ignore their companions little looks and touches.

Dee and Ryo threaded their way through the crowd out to the side `porch', one of thousands that had sprung up in the city since the smoking ban had taken effect; everyone, including these two cops, ignoring the fact that the `porch' was much more open to the rest of the bar than the outside.

Ryo was more than surprised when Dee chose a booth that looked out onto the street. Even though the screen and the tinted storm-window over it did somewhat insulate them from the action, Ryo still felt uncomfortably close to what was going on just inches away. But by now Ryo had realized that there was something big going on with Dee; the mood had changed so drastically in the thirty minutes since they had left the restaurant. Ryo just sat down on the far end of his bench and concentrated on quietly observing his partner.

Once their waiter had finally decided he would actually take their order he still seemed in no hurry to actually bring the drinks. Dee was on his third cigarette and hadn't said anything and was just watching the activity out the window. Ryo watched his lover carefully, concern very evident in his own eyes. To anyone else, Dee probably looked like the normal, everyday Dee. All Ryo could see was evidence that Dee was upset yet again. Dee's green eyes were faded almost to hazel and they alternated between darting frantically after the happenings outside and staring fixed at nothing at all.

When the drinks finally did arrive Dee looked away from the window and caught Ryo's intense observation of himself. “What is it?” Dee asked as he stubbed out his smoke and pulled his boilermaker in front of him, “Did I grow two heads?”

“No,” said Ryo, “or rather I already know you have two heads; the big one on top and the really big one down below.”

Dee's face finally relaxed a bit and he even started to blush a little. Emboldened by this Ryo continued, “I think you know I like both of them, rather a lot.”

Now Dee had to chuckle; it was inevitable whenever Ryo managed to go both cute and crude at the same time. With a genuine smile Dee picked up the whisky glass and toasted, “To Dutch courage.”

With Dee's grin and pointed toast Ryo felt he could finally comment. “I take it there is something that you want to talk about. Is it the thing from the other night?”

Dee nodded, fingering the empty whisky glass before picking up the beer mug. “Though I wouldn't say it is something that I want to talk about,” Dee took a long sip of the beer, “It is more of a need to kind of thing.”

When Dee didn't say more and just turned to look out the window again, Ryo had to bite his lip. He was so excited to be finally getting an answer to why his lover kept getting so upset that he was very afraid he would say the wrong thing and shut Dee down again. Of course he knew that, whatever this secret turned out to be, it wasn't going to be pretty. But nothing could be worse than not knowing what was tearing Dee apart inside.

Dee took a deep breath and seemed to mutter something like `now or never'. Then, without looking at Ryo, Dee said softly but distinctly, “That used to be me. I used to do that, back when.”

`He used to be who?' Ryo wondered, `What did he used to do?”

Then Ryo's eyes followed Dee's gaze out the window to where the young boys were hustling up trade.

Ryo had to move. Planting his hand in the middle of the table where Dee could see it, see that he wasn't leaving, Ryo got up and slid into Dee's side of the booth. Slowly Ryo reached out and placed a hand on Dee's elbow and, ignoring Dee's flinch, kept it there. Time stretched out with Dee looking out the window at his past and Ryo sitting behind him using just one hand to remind Dee of the here and now.

Their waiter turned out to be much more observant than Ryo had first hoped. Instead of approaching the table that was suddenly roiling with tension their server stopped a few steps back but within Ryo's line of vision. This allowed Ryo to discretely order Dee a refill without intruding on Dee thoughts. Ryo made a mental note to leave the kid a big tip. Ryo amended that note when the waiter brought the drink immediately and this time approached from behind Ryo placing the two mismatched glasses just on the edge of the table in front of Ryo. Ryo nodded in acknowledgment as he thought to himself `really big tip'.

Both hands were needed for Ryo to move the two-part drink in front of his partner but Ryo immediately reestablished his soft touch once it was done. Ryo went back to watching his lover's seemingly unemotional back while trying to send all of his love through the small contact.

Dee finally turned his attention back into the bar and down to his new drink. Dee picked up the old beer to finish it before starting the new combo. “Thanks,” Dee said quietly.

Once Dee had finished the beer and took a sip of the whiskey, Ryo spoke. “Dee, Love, I need you to listen to me.” Ryo had been going around and around in his brain trying to find the best way to reassure Dee and, as usual, the only solution he could find to deal with Dee was to be open and direct. “Ok, sweetheart? I need you to hear me.” Ryo took a breath, “This changes nothing. Do you understand? Can you believe that? I love you and want you just the same as always. If anything I respect you more, much more because you worked so hard to tell me, show me this.” Ryo squeezed Dee's elbow, “Ok, Dee? I love you - full stop. Are you hearing me?”

Dee said something that was mostly lost behind the background noise. All Ryo could catch was, “ …can't understand…to you…crap…things…had done…someone like me…someone like you…someone better…”

As Ryo figured out the direction of Dee's mumblings he suddenly got very, very angry and decided that Dee needed to know about it - right then. Closing all distance between them Ryo erupted, “Damn it, Dee! How long have you known me? After all this time do you still think I am that shallow and clueless? Don't you finally know how much I love you? Do you think my love is that weak after all I had to go through to find it and own it?”

Dee finished the second whisky and scrunched down on himself with a little snort. Ryo wasn't having any of it. His hand on Dee's elbow was now in a death grip. With his free hand Ryo reached around so quickly that he scattered empty shot glasses as he grabbed Dee's far cheek, forcing his lover to look at him.

Dee slowly gave in and brought his eyes up to Ryo's. The second their eyes met, Ryo broke the contact, only to pull Dee into an insistent and passionate kiss, holding that kiss until he could feel Dee relax at least a little. “I love you,” Ryo said, leaning back to give Dee back some of his personal space, “numb nuts.”

Dee got as far as, “I don't de-…” before he suddenly found Ryo's hand clamped firmly over his mouth. Ryo was shaking his head emphatically.

“Na unh,” Ryo said. “You were about to say something about you not deserving me again, weren't you.” All Dee could do is shrug. “Well,” Ryo continued, “I am getting really, really tired of listening to that load of bull!” Ryo grabbed Dee's far shoulder and forced Dee to turn his whole body away from the window and towards him. Ryo took a deep breath. “Listen, asshole, I - Love - You, got it? Wholly and completely. And if anyone here doesn't deserve anyone, I don't deserve you.” Dee started to interrupt until he saw Ryo's glare. Ryo started again, “You waited for me to deal with all of my shit 20, 50, 100 times longer than I had any right to expect. I mean, who does that? And what would have happened to me if you hadn't, if you had let me lose you?”

Ryo took Dee's face in both of his hands. “Look at us: passion, love, trust, friendship, great sex; everything I thought I would never, ever know. Things that I thought weren't really real.” Ryo caressed one of Dee's cheeks, “Something from your past, even something like this, isn't going to change any of that.” Slower this time Ryo leaned forward and gave Dee a kiss, deep, passionate and still insistent.

Dee really surrendered then, wrapping both arms around Ryo and returning everything in that kiss. Ryo kept a strong hold on Dee's head long after it was evident that Dee wasn't going anywhere.

After a long time, long after Ryo's own mouth tasted more like cigarettes and beer than the Irish coffee he had been drinking, the two men reluctantly broke off the kiss. Ryo claimed his place resting back against Dee's chest after grabbing his own now cold drink. Dee lit a cigarette and stroked Ryo's shoulder.

After Dee had had a few good drags on his smoke and another drink of his beer, Ryo said, “Do you believe me now, numb nuts?”

Dee finally laughed a deep throaty laugh that Ryo could feel through his back. “I am beginning to,” Dee said, “though some more persuasion could be fun, a lot of fun.” Ryo smiled into his coffee as Dee put his arm around Ryo's chest to pull him in tighter. “And by the by,” Dee said, leaning down to Ryo's ear, “my `nuts' are anything but numb right now.”

Now Ryo really laughed, something that few people ever heard. Usually Ryo would just smile; maybe roll his eyes, maybe snicker, maybe giggle. But when Ryo really laughed it was a surprisingly deep almost uncontrollable chuckle soft in volume as he struggled for air. Ryo's whole body was shaking and Dee just held Ryo tight and enjoyed the vibrations. There was an added bonus when the dignified Ryo actually snorted a couple of times in his attempt to breathe, causing both of them to laugh even harder.

Eventually they calmed down again and ordered another round of drinks, both of them getting Irish coffees this time. While waiting for the drinks, Dee rubbed his chest and said, “Bitch, you bit me.”

Ryo was unapologetic. “I had to stop laughing; I couldn't breathe,” Ryo said from his place leaning back against Dee.

“But how would biting me help you stop laughing?” Dee asked. “You should have bit yourself.”

“But biting you is much more fun,” Ryo said and twisted his head to look up at Dee. When Ryo saw that Dee was trying to look down his collar, Ryo asked a little too eagerly, “Did I leave a mark?”

“Yeah, I think you did, you sick bastard.”

“Cool,” Ryo said. Their drinks had arrived. Ryo pushed the whipped cream to one side with his spoon so he could take a drink. Dee wasn't as careful with his coffee and ended up with a frothy mustache that Ryo just had to lick off. This caused Dee to simply take a finger-full of Ryo's whipped cream to even the score.

They sat quietly for awhile drinking their coffees, Ryo still tucked against Dee's shoulder. Ryo was wondering if his boldness would last long enough to pick up a can of Reddy Whip on the way home. While he really liked the stuff and knew it was often used by all sorts of couples for all sorts of things, Ryo was finding he still seemed to have some hang-ups; one of them was crossing food stuffs with sex aids. Ryo was just deciding that he wanted to wait on the whipped cream until another night when Dee spoke again. “It seemed like an obvious thing to do at the time.”

Ryo twisted his head and saw that Dee was looking out the window again. Ryo sat up carefully so that he could look out with Dee without losing one inch of the contact between them. Ryo could tell that Dee was back in thoughts about his past but as Dee's arm was still warm and tender around him, Ryo wasn't very worried, yet.

Now Ryo looked out on the scene in a different way. Now he wasn't the cop or the detective or even a newly-awakened, somewhat timid gay man. Now he was just a person looking at a scene with a new sympathy and interest. Ryo saw that the crowd outside was less uniform than he had first thought. Sure all of the rent boys seemed to be between 16 and 19 but they were now individuals. A few of them looked honestly scared and lost, more than a few looked higher than a kite; but most of them seemed to be acting their parts. They were posing as helpless children or lustful adult wannabes or defiant teenagers; swaggering or strutting or mincing. And what Ryo really hadn't seen before was that most of them were talking and laughing with their friends while they waited for their `dates'.

The customers were much more uniform: to a man, in their late thirties upward, well-dressed and had the air of confidence that came with career and financial stability. Some tried to pretend like they were just out for a walk but most of them seemed to know this was pointless and strolled slowly in a business like manner. The hardest thing for Ryo to swallow was the fact that it wasn't just solitary men but couples and even groups that seemed to be out `shopping' together.

Ryo was much more fascinated by the different personas, costumes, and strategies employed by the boys. Those dressed in the uniform of cheap street walkers, sashaying around in see-through mesh shirts, short shorts and fishnets (a few even having the platform shoes, miniskirts, or boas), would approach their prospective customers with what had to be the same tired lines seen in a hundred late-late night movies. Others seemed to be trying to dress younger then they were and were pointedly acting shy and staring down a lot. A more racially diverse group of older boys were all dressed in hip hop fashions and seemed to be trying to pose like gangsters and act threatening, though not very effectively. Some boys walked up their prospective buyers while others tried to lean seductively against walls or balustrades, while the more jaded ones just sat and waited.

Dee grunted to get Ryo's attention and pointed with the hand that was still around Ryo's shoulder. When Ryo followed that line to a stoop almost directly across the street he had to catch his breath. Ryo didn't need Dee's mumbled clarification to know why Dee had pointed this one boy out. The youth was halfway up the stairs, lounging on the steps, listening to headphones and looking like the least-interested person on the street. He was wearing well fitting but not overly tight jeans, an everyday t-shirt and a beat-up, not distressed leather jacket. It was Dee five or ten years ago. “Me,” is what Dee had said. The kid couldn't have been 17, if that.

This kid had spiky blond hair, narrow but wiry shoulders, and his eyes seemed to be a pale blue from what Ryo could tell at that distance, but it was Dee. He had Dee's confidence, ease, take-it-or-leave-it attitude, Dee's posture. While the kid was obviously involved in the trade, he didn't approach anyone or even make eye contact. Anyone interested in him would have to go out of their way and climb the steps to where he sat.

But as Dee and Ryo watched, that is exactly what someone did. A very well but quietly dressed man in his late forties climbed the steps and bent over the boy. For his part the boy didn't even remove his headphones but did seem to fiddle with something at his belt, probably the volume. There was a brief conversation, ending with the man pointing down the street before walking away. The boy fiddled at his belt again, and then leaned back for another minute or so. The boy levered himself up and, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, headed in the direction the man had pointed.

Throughout this exchange Ryo could feel Dee get more and more tense. Once the boy was out of view Dee wrenched his eyes back into the bar and grabbed the one beer mug that still had a little in the bottom and lifted it with a shaking hand.

Ryo couldn't think of anything to do except turn all the way towards Dee, grab his lover and hold on for dear life. Ryo pressed, as much as rested his head against Dee's shoulder and concentrated on keeping his mouth closed and not doing something stupid like crying. Ryo felt so out of his league the two of them could have been from different planets. All he could do was hold on and hope Dee knew now that he loved him and was there for him.

After a little while Dee started to stroke Ryo's shoulder again. “I'm okay,” Dee said when Ryo looked up. Dee turned his back to the window and leaned against it. Bringing one knee up onto the bench, Dee pulled Ryo, who still had him in a tight grip, into his lap. “I'm okay, sweetheart,” Dee said again as he reached for his dwindling supply of cigarettes. “That was just hard. I found myself wishing he wouldn't be picked up. I couldn't stop watching him and hoping. But I knew better. On a night like this,” Dee turned his head to the window but only looked out it askance, “Well, on a night like this I would have made a lot of money.” Ryo just nodded his head against Dee's shoulder; anyone as sexy as Dee or that kid would have a lot of takers.

Dee signaled their waiter for more coffees. “What I can't figure out,” Dee said resting both arms on Ryo's neck while being careful to keep the lit cigarette from Ryo's hair, “is why you aren't freaking out more.” Ryo looked up with a question in his eyes. “I mean,” Dee continued, “you are worried about me and all, but this kind of shit… Well I guess I expected you to have more of a problem with it. Aren't you disgusted that your boyfriend used to be a whore?”

Ryo leaned back so he could look Dee right in the eye, smiled, and said, “No.”

“No?” Dee couldn't quite believe this.

“No,” Ryo took one hand from around Dee's waist to caress Dee's cheek again. “After all, so was my grandmother, a whore I mean.”

Dee's eyes got really big, “What?”

“It was postwar Japan,” Ryo explained, “not enough food to feed the family, anyhow it's how she met my grandfather.”

“Wow,” said Dee.

“Yeah, and the best part is obaba used to love to talk about it, especially around the Mc Leans. We'd be having Christmas dinner or something and grandfather Mac would be getting all high and mighty about something and obaba would just pipe up, `well, when I was a girl and working at the navy base'. The best thing is that it would shut up grandpa Mac for the rest of the holidays.” Ryo leaned back against Dee with a sad smile on his face, “I miss her, I miss all of them really. Not so much now I have you and Bikky. Still…”

“I would have liked to meet your obaba,” Dee said.

“She would have liked you.” Ryo giggled a little, “She would have liked someone to compare notes with.”

Ryo turned to smile at their waiter as he brought the drinks. Spooning the whipped cream into his mouth, Ryo said, “Um, lots of coffee, I won't be able to get to sleep tonight.”

“Man,” Dee sighed, “you'll look like shit at work tomorrow and everyone who knows us will blame me.”

“That's just because they all know what a stud you are,” Ryo giggled again, this was his third Irish coffee and they had had wine at dinner.

They were quiet again drinking their coffees as Dee had another smoke. This time it was Ryo that brought up the subject, “Was it the money?”

“Yeah, mostly,” Dee answered. “It was also the sex, though, I mean I was a teenager and if you think I am horny now. The two things I wanted most was money and sex and I thought it was amazing that people would give me one in order to give the other.”

“Weren't you afraid of getting caught?” Ryo asked, “After all, you already knew you wanted to be a cop.”

“Yeah I was, though not as much as I should have been,” Dee admitted. “But mostly I was concerned with how much the academy and moving out and everything was going to cost. I mean Mother offered to put up the money, but every cent she would be giving me, I'd be literally taking it out of the mouths and off of the backs of the younger kids.”

“That makes sense. But didn't Mother get suspicious about your sudden wealth if not your staying out to all hours?”

“Yeah, I think she did. She's a damn sharp woman. But she trusted me,” Dee sighed again, “even when she shouldn't have.”

“Nah,” Ryo said, “she just knew you would turn out ok, and she was right.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“No, she's told me so, many times.” Ryo tried to imitate Mother, “`That Dee had such a talent for finding new types of trouble to get into. I didn't even want to know what half of them were. But I could always rest easy knowing that Dee could get himself back out again if anyone could, and smelling like a rose, too.'” Ryo pulled up one of Dee's arms from around his chest. Making a show of sniffing it, Ryo said, “Well, roses isn't the first thing that comes to mind.”

“So, what do I smell like?” Dee asked.

“Um, musk I think.” Ryo took another sniff, “You smell of cigarettes, the subway, sweat, my fabric softener but mostly, to me, you smell like Dee; my sexy, musky Dee.”

“Ryo,” Dee said leaning down to take a bite at Ryo's neck, “let's get out of here. There's more we need to talk about, but not here.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ryo said, “We've gotten what we needed here, and more.”

They left their server a very big tip and went out to hail a cab.

 

End Chapter 2