Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Slipping Through ❯ I’ve A Feeling We’re Not In Kansas ( Chapter 3 )

Title: I've A Feeling We're Not In Kansas

By: Totally4Ryo

Date Written: 6/13/08

Word Count: 1753

Fandom: FAKE/Torchwood

Characters/Pairings: Dee/Ryo, Jack/Ianto

Spoilers: FAKE - all through to volume 7, none for Torchwood yet.

Warnings: None yet, except this is FAKE, so there's two gorgeous man couples.

Author Notes: Alrighty…. *takes deep breath* First time writing Jack and Ianto, so please be gentle. I'm willing to learn so I can write better Torchwood fic in the future. Yeah, the title is cliche, but I felt that it fit -- for lack of a better one. We're still open for suggestions on what to call this series.

 

 

 

Ianto entered the info booth moments before the two men entered. Immediately, Ianto made himself look busy, picking up piles of brochures and rearranging them neatly.

 

Jack pulled back on the other side of the beaded curtain, bringing Gwen to a stop with him. He gestured for her to take a step back, following her, while listening in.

 

Ianto looked at the strangers. “May I be of assistance, gentlemen?”

 

The dark haired one's mouth opened, but no sound came out. The lighter haired man stared at Ianto in recognition, excitement animating his face.

 

“Dee,” Ryo said, breathlessly, grabbing onto Dee's arm, acting as if Dee did not recognize the familiar face.

 

“Holy crap,” Dee finally managed to utter. He looked over to his husband, watching Ryo stare at the man in the info booth as he walked from behind the counter to stand before them.

 

Ryo was going into full fanboy mode upon finding himself face-to-face with Gareth David-Lloyd. With a huge grin on his face, he said, “And here I thought we missed the tour. Or did we get here early?” He looked over at Dee, who silently studied the man before them. “Imagine that! What a nice extra surprise to the tour. And he's dressed like Ianto too.”

 

Ianto schooled his features to not show his surprise at one of the men knowing his name.

 

Behind the curtain, Jack looked at Gwen in question, looking surprised. Gwen shrugged.

 

Dee gave Ryo a placating smile, before looking back to the actor. “No need to go into the routine for us. We're impressed enough just getting to meet you. But if you could point us in the right direction to meet up with the rest of the tour, we'd be out of your hair until that part comes around.”

 

“We promise not to tell anyone and spoil the surprise,” Ryo remarked, still grinning.

 

Ianto was studying the two men. “Which tour would that be?” he asked carefully.

 

“Oh, there's several?” Ryo asked.

 

“The Torchwood tour,” Dee replied, dark green intense eyes fixed on Ianto. “We obviously missed the beginning of it, and the rest of the group.”

 

Behind the curtain, Jack gestured for Gwen to head back down into the Hub. Gwen looked like she was about to protest, then as she tried to see past Jack into the info booth with no luck, she turned and started to walk away. Jack figured the easy victory was on account of CCTV and Gwen getting a better look at the two good-looking men. Jack remained where he stood, and continued to listen.

 

“This is our lucky day to have `Ianto' greet the tour in here,” Ryo grinned, in full fanboy mode.

 

“Probably better having Ianto showing up, then ghosts,” Dee muttered.

 

Dee wanted to be as excited as Ryo to be meeting one of the actors from their favorite TV show, but the sense of foreboding from the night before returned. <i>I have a bad feeling the boogeyman is about to show up,</i> he thought.

 

“Is there a problem here?” a voice called from behind them.

 

Both Ryo and Dee turned, already recognizing the voice. Ryo's mouth hung open in amazement. Dee's eyes went wide.

 

<i>God no,</i> Dee thought. <i>Please don't let John Barrowman be the boogeyman.</i>

 

Ryo inched closer to Dee, and said low, in Japanese, “John Barrowman just popped out from out of the blue. This is just like an episode on the show.” Ryo was glad of the Japanese fetish Dee had since a boy. Among his passion for things Japanese, Dee learned how to speak Japanese, his first lessons from the mother of one of the boys in his neighborhood growing up. By the time Dee graduated from college, he was fluent in Japanese. Once Ryo realized that, it became a `private' language between the two.

 

Dee nodded, biting his lip, eyes on the actor who was smiling at them. While the smile was genuine, Dee knew they were being studied carefully. It made his internal alarms go off more.

 

For want of doing anything besides the two New York detectives stare silently at John Barrowman, Dee commented, “Um, nice coat.” He indicated the great coat that was a trademark of Barrowman's character, Captain Jack Harkness.

 

“That's what they all say,” Jack replied, with a wink.

 

Dee found himself laughing softly. Despite all his reservations, he found he was unable to resist the other man's charms. “So tell me, is this all part of the tour?” Dee glanced at his husband. “You know, like once in a while, when the actors don't have any commitments, they show up as a surprise.”

 

Dee took the time to study Ryo. While it was plain to see Ryo was definitely enjoying the experience of meeting not one, but two of his favorite actors, he appeared pretty calm. Dee knew the stance of his husband very well. They could have been interviewing witnesses at the moment, if Ryo's body language was any indication. Dee's eyes went from Ryo to behind them to find Gareth standing right behind them. “Do you guys throw in something, like maybe a Weevil, as part of the attraction?”

 

Ianto's eyes immediately went beyond Dee and Ryo to meet Jack's in surprise and curiosity. He stepped around the two tourists, figuring them to be from New York City. The taller, dark haired one was definitely from New York, with his thick accent. The other man's was not so obvious, but an infliction in the way he said a word here and there or pronounced a vowel indicated he spent at least enough time in the city to pick up the undertones of the accent.

 

“A what now?” Jack was asking, attempting to act amused, as Ianto came to stand beside him.

 

“A Weevil,” Dee repeated, while Ryo chuckled. “You know, big ugly alien thing with big teeth. Probably smells bad too from living in those sewers,” he added with a grin.

 

Jack and Ianto shared a careful look, momentarily unsure how to reply.

 

Dee, being a man who never had a problem keeping a conversation going on, particularly when he was baiting for information, rambled on, allowing himself to gush slightly like the fanboy he should have been acting like. “'Cause if you don't, I think that would be an awesome addition. Especially when the actors can't be around. Take the group into an alley or something, and have a Weevil jump out at them. Now that's a scare people would pay for!” Dee laughed.

 

Ryo smirked, his attention now on his babbling husband and laughed. Looking back at the other two men, he said, “When in that Weevil in the hospital went for the porter and bit him in the neck, this one screamed like a girl.” He laughed as he jerked a thumb at Dee. “God's honest truth.” He laughed more at the memory of Dee watching his first episode of Torchwood. By that scene, Dee had admitted he was already hooked.

 

Dee put his arm around Ryo's waist and pulled him closer. “Hey now, that's classified information.” He lightly kissed Ryo's nose while the other man chuckled.

 

Ryo kissed Dee back before looking at the two actors. “Seriously, man. We're such huge fans. The reason we're in Cardiff for the week is because of Torchwood. “ He held his hand out to Ianto, and smiled as he got to shake hands with the man he assumed was an actor. When Ianto released his hand, Jack held out his. “It's an honor to get to meet you both.”

 

Dee nodded. “Especially after we found out they actually had tours.”

 

Jack shook his head. “Ah, now we get to the good part. This might sound a bit strange, but which tour would you be referring to?”

 

Ryo laughed. “The Torchwood tour, of course.”

 

Jack blinked and turned to stare at Ianto. Ianto was already giving Jack a stare that indicated he was most likely at fault. Which Jack was used to.

 

Dee's eyes flashed, studying the two men before them. “That is a strange question. After all, here we are in the info booth above the Hub, face to face with Jack and Ianto. Now unless David Tennent is hiding out somewhere, and Gareth is due to also appear in a future episode of Doctor Who, what other tour would we mean?”

 

Jack opened his mouth, and for once no words flowed. It was only for a moment. “Do you gentlemen like coffee? `Cause I can guarantee you'll have coffee every bit as ecstatic as Ianto serves. Would you be interested?”

 

Ryo nodded. “Now that would be an experience, only shadowed by talking to the two of you.”

 

“But where's the rest of the group taking the tour?” Dee asked. “We flew all the way from the U.S. for the this chance.”

 

“It's obvious you missed it, but not to worry,” Ianto said, following Jack's lead. “You're here with us now. And you came all the way from across the Atlantic. We have time, so how about a VIP tour to go with that coffee?”

 

“Of course. Yes,” Jack added, giving Ianto a slight look of thanks. “You'll get a tour of Torchwood like no one else in those groups get.”

 

Ryo reached for Dee's hand and squeezed it, unable to contain his excitement of getting the Torchwood tour personally guided by John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd.

 

Dee squeezed Ryo's hand back, but once again found himself faking his own excitement. Something was about to happen and he was not sure they were going to like it. He prepared himself for anything, once again cussing the bloody UK for once again proving to be creepy during a much needed vacation.

 

He took a step to follow Jack, still holding Ryo's hand, feeling his husband walking alongside of him. He did not have to look back to know they were being followed by the Welshman.

 

“Where are we starting the tour?” Ryo asked as Jack led them onto the Plass, walking toward the fountain.

 

“The Invisible Lift, of course,” Jack replied, smiling reassuringly at the two men.

 

The plan was once he got these two foreigners down to the Hub, he and Ianto would drop the act, and find out how do they know so much about Torchwood, and Weevils.

 

Yes, these two men were going to get the grand tour of Torchwood all right.