Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Strings Attached ❯ Part 6: Tied to Each Other ( Chapter 6 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Nova Starlight 
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.26.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.9K | Visits: 252 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.26.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.9K | Visits: 252 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I do not own Fake or any of its characters
Strings Attached
By: Nova Starlight
Part 6: Tied to Each Other
When Drake walked back into his apartment, he was still angry and brimming with frustration. It did not help his mood any that the first thing his gaze landed on was his bed. The sheets were still in a disarray, mussed and strewn about, from their morning’s lovemaking. His hands reached out and found the nearest object, a small catch all bowl for keys and change, and hurled it across the room. The crash of the bowl was satisfying to his ears, and watching the pieces scatter across the room; strangely made him feel a little better. Damn, he needed a drink.
A quick search of his liquor cabinet, freezer, and fridge turned up empty. He could not believe his rotten luck. His options were plentiful in a city like New York, but he was not sure which was best. He could walk down to the local pub, but he did not really feel like trying to explain why he was drowning himself in liquor. Of course, he could go to another random bar, but he did not think that the company of strangers would improve his mood either. That left his only option as going to the liquor store and getting enough to keep him pleasantly buzzed for the next week.
…
JJ had been chomping at the bit to see Drake for hours. When he had returned to their office, Ryo had been tending to Dee, with an icepack to his cheek. He had expected both of them to be furious, but the air was strangely calm. He heard Dee say, “I swear Ryo! I don’t know why Drake hit me!” Well, if that was the truth then he guessed that no one but Drake seemed to know what had possessed him to take a swing at Dee. It made no sense to him, he had not noticed anything between Drake and Dee recently. What could have come over him?
“Okay,” Ryo assured Dee. “I believe you.” Ryo’s hands seem gentle yet persistent as they pressed the cold pack to Dee’s face and forced him to remain seated there on the floor. In that moment, JJ felt a little envious; not because he wanted Dee, but because he wanted to be wherever Drake was at this moment, taking care of him. As if the two of them had suddenly noticed that he had been standing there Ryo asked, “Where is Drake?”
“The Chief suspended him for a week,” JJ replied. “He also said that he was going to ask Dee if he was pressing charges.” He did not realize it, but he looked at Dee when he said this, with a heartbreaking look of pleading. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg that Dee not press charges, but somehow he remained standing. He did not need to do anything else today that would draw attention to his feelings for Drake. He could just imagine Drake’s anger if their relationship was revealed. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and began to plead with himself that he would be able to hold them back.
Dee and Ryo both saw the raw emotion in JJ’s face, if they attributed it to different reasons. “Charges?!” Dee scoffed. “Penguin has hit me harder than this, plenty of times. Why on Earth would I file charges?” JJ could not describe the relief he felt at that moment. Without another word, he had run from the office and started for the door. Before, he could make it the Chief was there standing in his path.
“Where do you think you are going?” he asked.
“Uh…just going to check on Drake,” he responded.
“You have about three hours left on your shift. Find something productive to work on, Now!” His voice growled.
JJ had been disheartened, but tried to keep himself busy. It had been the longest hours of his life. His eyes had seemed almost transfixed on the hands of the clock on the wall. Now, as he made his way out of the precinct to hail a cab, he prayed that Drake had calmed down. He had not seen Dee and Ryo since he had left them in his office, so he still had no idea how all of this had started. It was strange to say the least. Everything had seemed relaxed and easy going between the four of them at lunch. He did not doubt that something Dee had done must have provoked Drake, but Dee seemed completely unaware of anything he said that could have been offensive. The cab seemed to move in bursts, caught in rush hour traffic. JJ pulled some money from his wallet and paid the cabbie, before darting out into the street. The subway would be faster than this.
…
Sitting there alone in his apartment, Drake took a long swig from the bottle of vodka and felt the burn trace its way through him slowly. The moment it touched his tongue and slid down his throat he could feel the sting and burn ignite. He looked at the various bottles spread out on the coffee table and realized that his plan to achieve a nice buzz had been abandoned at least an hour ago. He was way past buzzed at this point, but had absolutely no interest in stopping. He could still recall everything that had happened today and until those memories became fuzzy and vague he intended to keep drinking. The silence in the room started to bother him and he awkwardly managed to stand. He laughed as he swayed and barely managed to regain his balance.
As he approached his stereo, he casually turned the power dial to the on position. The station was set to oldies, which for the most part was his favorite music to listen to, but today it had no effect. The bottle was raised to his lips once more and another swig went ablaze through his body. He suddenly noticed the soft chords playing and recognized them. Unconsciously, his voice began to sing along. “Make it one for my baby, and one more for the road.” He had never been a melodramatic man, this was uncharacteristic for him, but seemed uncontrollable all the same. It was strange to him that all the years of being involved with women, being dumped countless times, he had never been so tied up in knots. “So this is love?” he asked himself bemusedly.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. He made no move to answer it, choosing to stand there, staring at the closed door. Whoever it was, most likely Dee, he was in no condition to see anyone. He certainly had no explanation for him if that was what he was after. A moment later, he heard a key in the lock and the knob began to turn. “Drake…are you here?” he heard JJ’s soft voice ask as the door swung open.
“JJ, what are you doing here?” he asked.
JJ closed the door behind him and began to look at Drake, then around the room. Had Drake been drinking since he got home? The scattered bottles, most of them appearing empty would suggest that had been the case. Drake himself looked as if he could barely stand. JJ quickly moved to his side and took his arm, leading him to the couch. “What the Hell have you been doing?” he demanded. “Trying to drink your self into a coma?”
“Not a coma so much as…well…the word stupor comes to mind,” Drake answered bluntly.
“More like stupid!” he shrieked back at him.
As soon as Drake heard those words, his anger returned. “What did you come here for? To lecture me? To rant at me for punching Dee? Whatever it was just get it over with!”
“I just came to see how you were doing,” JJ told him in a voice that was instantly calmer than it had been just seconds ago.
Drake sighed and sat down on the couch. He knew exactly what he needed to do, to try to save himself from all of this pain. With a look into JJ’s eyes he knew just how tough it was going to be, to say what he needed to say. “Sit down,” he told JJ. “We need to talk.”
JJ took the offered seat beside him with trepidation. There was something in the way he had said those last words, the way that his shoulders were slumped, that worried him. It was silent between them and Drake could not meet his eyes. JJ slowly moved closer to him on the couch. As they sat there side by side, the soft music playing in the background, JJ reached out for Drake’s injured hand. Their fingers touched and Drake recoiled. He finally spoke and the words were so soft, JJ scarcely heard him.
“We need to end this.”
Upon hearing it aloud, JJ was stunned. He had been wary of what Drake had wanted to tell him, but somehow he had not been expecting this. “What?” he managed in an almost breathless voice.
“I don’t think we should continue this…arrangement,” he clarified; choosing his words carefully. He still stared down at the floor, not able to look JJ in the eyes. “Let’s face facts, this is not helping either of us.” There was so much more he wanted to say, he was fairly bursting with it. He wanted to tell JJ that he loved him, tell him to give up on Dee, but he was too much of a coward to face the rejection.
JJ was so dazed by what was happening that he was not thinking clearly. He found that all of his concern for Drake was replaced by overwhelming anger. “You found somebody else to screw? Didn’t you?”
“What?” Drake asked incredulous. It was now that his head snapped up and he was staring at JJ as if he had grown a second head. “What the fuck are you saying? It‘s not about fucking somebody else, its about what is best for us.”
“Bullshit!” JJ snapped. He could feel his anger escalating in reaction to Drake’s denial. His brain was flooded with thoughts and questions; was Drake really fucking someone else? If so, who? Images of every possible woman scrolling through his head. “Tell me,” he commanded. “Just who are you messing around with now?”
“Are you dense?!” Drake retorted. “I just said that I was not fucking anybody else.” Drake knew he should have just stopped at that statement, but the alcohol was affecting his judgment and self control. “I don’t have to be screwing someone else to face reality; unlike you who has lived in their own goddamn fantasy world for the last ten years. Mooning over a man who has absolutely no interest in you.” He watched as the fury seemed to melt from JJ’s face to be replaced by crushing sadness, but it was too late, he could not stop himself. “And, when am I supposed to have been meeting with someone else, when you have been stuck to me like glue for weeks?”
JJ stood there facing Drake, feeling as if his world were being turned upside down. If he had any doubts that he had fallen in love with the man standing before him, they would no longer remain. The intense pain he felt as Drake hurled his insults at him, would have confirmed everything. He was not sure how he remained standing, when all he wanted to do was collapse to the floor. Suddenly, he felt the burning wetness in his eyes and realized too late that he was sobbing. He willed that his anger return, but it could not survive the sorrow he felt. Unconsciously, he backed away from Drake and then turned and ran for the door. What would he do now?
Drake was left there, staring at the empty space around him. Well, he had finally done it. He had managed to hurt the one person who had cared enough to show up here and check on him. The problem was that it was not enough anymore. He did not want JJ’s friendship or concern; he wanted him to love him. He raised the bottle still in his hand and brought it to his lips once more.
…
The next few days, found JJ trying his best to forget about Drake. He was actually thankful that Drake had been suspended, because it allowed him to sequester himself in their office. He found himself avoiding everyone at the station; Ryo, Dee, the Chief, Rose, Ted. It was as if seeing them would bring the image of Drake into his mind once more. At least once a day, he would think to himself, “What is going to happen when Drake returns?” After everything that happened he was not sure that he would be able to be around him anymore. Would he become to Drake what he had become to Dee; an annoyance to be dodged at every turn. He could feel the tears return to his eyes at the thought. There was only one thing he could do at this point, he stood and wiped the evidence of his tears from his eyes. With a heavy heart he walked from his office, and headed to the Chief’s office.
…
The next day, there was a knock on Drake’s door and he rushed to answer it. He did not want to admit that he hoped it would be JJ on the other side. When he had woken up the morning after his last conversation with JJ, his head had been pounding and his memories were vague. However, one memory had been crystal clear, the image of JJ’s tear streaked face. As the door swung open, he was surprised to see Dee standing there. “Can I come in?” he asked.
Drake nodded, stepping aside to allow him to enter. “You come here to punch me back?” he asked with a sarcastic laugh.
“Figured I might as well try to find out why you punched me first,” was his reply. “I mean…Hell…maybe I deserved it.”
Drake still did not feel ready to tell him the truth, not about everything. Despite this, he figured he could at least partly explain his actions. “You didn’t deserve it,” he began quietly. “When you made that comment about flirting with JJ, it pissed me off. JJ has been my friend and partner, I felt…protective.” It had been on the tip of his tongue to say jealous, but he had managed to stop himself.
“That‘s what this was about?” Dee asked in surprise. “It never crossed my mind.” Drake was not really sure what to say. He had spent so much of his time these last few weeks debating and obsessing over every little thing inside of his own head, was it possible that Dee had not even considered JJ as the cause of his anger. Drake moved to the sofa and collapsed down with a sigh. Dee said nothing else until he had joined him. “You know, if JJ was the reason you punched me…you acted more like a jealous boyfriend than a concerned friend.”
Drake was not sure what to say to that. He found that he just sat there, waiting, unable to deny or rebut what Dee had claimed. The silence persisted for a few more minutes, before he heard Dee sigh. “Does JJ know?” he asked.
“Know what?” Drake demanded, “Just what are you insinuating?”
“Oh don’t play dumb,” Dee snapped. “Does JJ know that you like him?” Drake refused to speak, sitting there as still as a statue. “I’m just asking, because JJ told the Chief yesterday that he wanted a transfer.”
That got Drake’s attention. “A transfer?!”
“Yeah, he apparently decided that he was going to use up all of his vacation time and then take a transfer to another precinct,” Dee explained. He stood and looked at Drake with an expression of understanding. “Well, I guess I should leave you alone to think.” Without another word, another look, he walked out. Drake was now once again left with his thoughts. Why did JJ want to transfer? Was it because of Dee? Or because of him? He had to know, beyond that he was not sure what is next step would be, but for the moment nothing seemed more important that knowing the truth. More than that, did he really want to let JJ leave without telling him that he loved him? He knew that if he did not go now, he never would. Once he had decided, he wasted no time in cleaning himself up, dressing, and running out the door to hail a cab. He was glad that there was no sign of Dee as he rushed from the building.
The ride to JJ’s apartment building had never seemed longer. He had raced to the elevator, drawing curious looks from the other tenants. His feet could not move fast enough until he was standing in front of JJ’s door. His hand was raised, poised to knock, but he paused. His heart was pounding in his ears and his throat felt dry. He was not ready for this after all. What on Earth could he possibly say, to stop him from leaving. Just as he was about to turn and walk away, head home, the door opened and JJ was standing there in the doorway. “How long do you plan to stand out there?” he asked.
Drake dropped his clenched hand to his side and looked down. “Can I come in?” he asked. JJ did not say anything, just remained there, blocking the doorway.
“What are you doing here, Drake?” he questioned with a soft sigh.
“I heard you were requesting a transfer,” he answered. JJ seemed surprised that he knew about it; the only one he had told was Ryo. He smiled a little to himself as he thought, “Ryo must be trying to help.” He stared at Drake, standing there looking so upset. His heart was twisted in knots and his fingers itched to reach out for him. It felt like it had been months since they held each other, years since they had kissed; instead of just a few days. He had to wonder if Drake had missed him at all. He had been unable to sleep. He would toss and turn for hours on end and then end up sobbing into his pillow like a broken hearted teenager. Did Drake have any inkling of what he had been going through?
“What does it matter?” he asked finally. “I would figure you would be happy to have me out of your hair.”
Drake reached out and grabbed JJ’s hand. “I don’t want you out of my hair,” he mumbled. “Does it really hurt that much? Being close to Dee without being his lover? Is it really so bad that you have to leave?” Drake felt ridiculous and childish as he asked those questions, but he needed to know. One look into JJ’s eyes and he could tell that he had been surprised by the questions as well. He kept his gaze focused on those beautiful blue eyes, that looked as if they were began to tear up. He was scared to pose the question, but no one would ever accuse him of not trying. “Am I not enough for you?”
As he spoke the words, the simple surprise in JJ’s expression became the portrait of shock. His lips moved, but there were no words. JJ was so stunned by what he had heard from Drake, that his tongue was in knots. Had Drake really just asked him, if he was enough? It was a question he had been wanting to ask Drake for days, obsessing over it endlessly. His hand was still in Drake’s and he could feel his pulse quicken, his fingers clasped Drake’s hand and gripped it tightly. In a flash, he had pulled him inside and slammed the door. Their lips met and JJ found himself wrapping around Drake in every conceivable way; his legs around Drake’s waist, his arms around his neck. JJ could feel himself getting swept away by Drake’s kiss, the way his lips worked passionately, yet gentle against his own. The way his tongue slipped through and ignited a burning need within him.
Just as he was about to truly lose control, he felt Drake pull away. “What am I doing?” he asked. Drake walked them over to the couch and untangled their bodies, sitting JJ down in front of him. “I know you like me, at least like being with me…” he continued. “But, it is not enough anymore.” JJ’s heart was in his throat, what did he mean? He waited with baited breath for Drake to continue. “I want you to love me, not Dee.”
“Dee?” JJ repeated.
“Yeah…” Drake trailed off, running his fingers through his hair. “I want you to be in love with me.” He let out a mocking laugh and looked down at the floor. “God, I feel so dumb. We were just supposed to be fooling around, and I go and fall in love.” The happiness that flowed through him at hearing those words was indescribable. Drake loved him! He could no longer hold back, launching himself from the couch and back into Drake’s arms.
“I love you too!” he cried out, and then his lips were joined with Drake’s once more. JJ was instantly swept away by Drake’s passionate response. Everything became a blur as they moved into the bedroom, their hands working to remove all of their clothing while remaining locked in their embrace. JJ could feel little jolts coursing through him in every spot that Drake touched. He was moaning, aching with desire and a need so great he could not describe it. When he fell back onto the bed, he stared up at Drake above him, and could not stop himself from saying those words again. “I love you Drake.”
Drake looked down at JJ with a bright smile on his face, hearing those words made his heart pound. Of course, he could feel himself responding in other ways as well. Small droplets of sweat began to bead on his skin, his body was so quick to respond to JJ’s touch, his smile, his kiss. He bent his head for another kiss. There were lots of things that he wanted to say, but there would be plenty of time later. JJ moaned into his kiss and his hands were digging into his shoulders. He broke their kiss to move lower, trailing from his neck down into the hollow of his throat. His lips and tongue traveled lower over his flat chest, pausing to flick his tongue out over one of JJ’s nipples.
He smiled as JJ’s head fell back and he groaned with pleasure. “Please,” he heard him pleading softly. “I need you.” Drake could not suppress his own moan at those words and moved even lower, this time his tongue tracing its path along the indentations of JJ’s fit body. He hesitated as he approached JJ’s length. This was definitely new territory for him and he could deny that he was nervous. At the same time, he knew that he loved JJ and that he wanted to make him feel incredible. He closed his eyes and allowed his tongue to stroke against him, then licked his lips before taking the tip into his mouth.
JJ’s back arched, the sensation was overpowering all of his senses. When he managed to relax once more on the bed, he could not help himself from looking down at his lover, lavishing him with attention. “Oh God!” he moaned. His hand flew to his mouth, trying to stifle his response. Drake looked so intense as he sucked him, gradually taking more and more into his mouth. JJ tried to speak, tell him that he did not have to do what he was doing, but all he managed were helpless gasps of pleasure. Even when he began to feel his climax approaching, he could not seem to vocalize the warning. Settling instead for reaching down and pushing Drake back. Drake stared back at him with a expression of confusion. It was only then that he managed to speak, “I was too close…” he panted. “I want you inside of me when I cum.”
That was apparently all Drake needed to hear. He had raised up and was digging in the bedside table for the lubricant and a condom. Within seconds, JJ felt Drake’s weight pushing him down into the mattress as Drake raised his legs up to his shoulders. Heat and electricity went coursing through him, as they became one. Drake’s head leaned forward as he thrust completely inside. As they kissed, JJ tried to concentrate on relaxing his body for Drake. They quickly developed a slow yet intense rhythm that left JJ clinging to Drake, moaning his name, almost breathless. He could feel Drake touching that spot hidden inside of him on every thrust, giving him no time to recover. He wanted to make this last, make up for the lost days, but he could no longer hold back. “Drake…I…Oh God!…I”
Drake’s lips traced their way to his ear and he heard him whisper. “You are so beautiful JJ.” The crescendo came, JJ’s climax came crashing through him as his body stiffened and tightened. Though he was still moaning uncontrollably, he heard Drake’s next words as clearly as if they had been spoken in silence. “I love you JJ.” Then Drake’s own peak of pleasure came and he collapsed onto JJ. As he held Drake close, he could scarcely believe this had all been real. He was in love, and he was loved in return. He had never felt more whole and complete. He could feel his eyelids fluttering closed and then felt a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose.
…
When JJ awoke, he was alone in bed. A glance at his alarm clock showed that it was ten at night. “Oh no!” he thought. “Drake would not have left again? Would he?” He leapt from bed only to fall back in pain. Who would have thought a few days of abstinence would have left him so rusty. He must have made quite a commotion because Drake came running into the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked with concern in his expression.
“I got up too fast,” JJ responded. “Where have you been?” Drake smiled and left the room. When he returned, he came with a tray of breakfast food and orange juice. “You made me breakfast? At ten at night?” he asked.
“Of course,” he stated, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I hope you like it.”
They held each other in bed as they ate and the silence between them was comfortable. JJ finally spoke by asking, “Drake, I know this is not important, but why did you hit Dee?”
Drake blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. “He…uh…well…To be honest, he said that he was not used to you not glomping him all the time and that he had considered flirting with you to get things back to normal.”
“You hit him for me?” JJ asked in shock. Drake in his embarrassment, could only nod. He could not help it, he kissed him. “That’s sweet of you.” He rested his head on Drake’s chest and felt his arms wrap around him tenderly. This is what he had been looking for, for all those years. To think, he could have missed out on all of this. It was strange to him that it took a simple little kiss to set this course for them. The strings of fate had seemed to wrap around them and tie them to each other, though neither had seen it happening. Now, he would do anything for him, to stay by his side forever.
The End
Author’s Notes:
Thanks Again To All Who Reviewed or Favorited This Story! I am considering a sequel and would love to get some response to the idea. So, Sequel? Yes? Or No?
Strings Attached
By: Nova Starlight
Part 6: Tied to Each Other
When Drake walked back into his apartment, he was still angry and brimming with frustration. It did not help his mood any that the first thing his gaze landed on was his bed. The sheets were still in a disarray, mussed and strewn about, from their morning’s lovemaking. His hands reached out and found the nearest object, a small catch all bowl for keys and change, and hurled it across the room. The crash of the bowl was satisfying to his ears, and watching the pieces scatter across the room; strangely made him feel a little better. Damn, he needed a drink.
A quick search of his liquor cabinet, freezer, and fridge turned up empty. He could not believe his rotten luck. His options were plentiful in a city like New York, but he was not sure which was best. He could walk down to the local pub, but he did not really feel like trying to explain why he was drowning himself in liquor. Of course, he could go to another random bar, but he did not think that the company of strangers would improve his mood either. That left his only option as going to the liquor store and getting enough to keep him pleasantly buzzed for the next week.
…
JJ had been chomping at the bit to see Drake for hours. When he had returned to their office, Ryo had been tending to Dee, with an icepack to his cheek. He had expected both of them to be furious, but the air was strangely calm. He heard Dee say, “I swear Ryo! I don’t know why Drake hit me!” Well, if that was the truth then he guessed that no one but Drake seemed to know what had possessed him to take a swing at Dee. It made no sense to him, he had not noticed anything between Drake and Dee recently. What could have come over him?
“Okay,” Ryo assured Dee. “I believe you.” Ryo’s hands seem gentle yet persistent as they pressed the cold pack to Dee’s face and forced him to remain seated there on the floor. In that moment, JJ felt a little envious; not because he wanted Dee, but because he wanted to be wherever Drake was at this moment, taking care of him. As if the two of them had suddenly noticed that he had been standing there Ryo asked, “Where is Drake?”
“The Chief suspended him for a week,” JJ replied. “He also said that he was going to ask Dee if he was pressing charges.” He did not realize it, but he looked at Dee when he said this, with a heartbreaking look of pleading. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg that Dee not press charges, but somehow he remained standing. He did not need to do anything else today that would draw attention to his feelings for Drake. He could just imagine Drake’s anger if their relationship was revealed. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and began to plead with himself that he would be able to hold them back.
Dee and Ryo both saw the raw emotion in JJ’s face, if they attributed it to different reasons. “Charges?!” Dee scoffed. “Penguin has hit me harder than this, plenty of times. Why on Earth would I file charges?” JJ could not describe the relief he felt at that moment. Without another word, he had run from the office and started for the door. Before, he could make it the Chief was there standing in his path.
“Where do you think you are going?” he asked.
“Uh…just going to check on Drake,” he responded.
“You have about three hours left on your shift. Find something productive to work on, Now!” His voice growled.
JJ had been disheartened, but tried to keep himself busy. It had been the longest hours of his life. His eyes had seemed almost transfixed on the hands of the clock on the wall. Now, as he made his way out of the precinct to hail a cab, he prayed that Drake had calmed down. He had not seen Dee and Ryo since he had left them in his office, so he still had no idea how all of this had started. It was strange to say the least. Everything had seemed relaxed and easy going between the four of them at lunch. He did not doubt that something Dee had done must have provoked Drake, but Dee seemed completely unaware of anything he said that could have been offensive. The cab seemed to move in bursts, caught in rush hour traffic. JJ pulled some money from his wallet and paid the cabbie, before darting out into the street. The subway would be faster than this.
…
Sitting there alone in his apartment, Drake took a long swig from the bottle of vodka and felt the burn trace its way through him slowly. The moment it touched his tongue and slid down his throat he could feel the sting and burn ignite. He looked at the various bottles spread out on the coffee table and realized that his plan to achieve a nice buzz had been abandoned at least an hour ago. He was way past buzzed at this point, but had absolutely no interest in stopping. He could still recall everything that had happened today and until those memories became fuzzy and vague he intended to keep drinking. The silence in the room started to bother him and he awkwardly managed to stand. He laughed as he swayed and barely managed to regain his balance.
As he approached his stereo, he casually turned the power dial to the on position. The station was set to oldies, which for the most part was his favorite music to listen to, but today it had no effect. The bottle was raised to his lips once more and another swig went ablaze through his body. He suddenly noticed the soft chords playing and recognized them. Unconsciously, his voice began to sing along. “Make it one for my baby, and one more for the road.” He had never been a melodramatic man, this was uncharacteristic for him, but seemed uncontrollable all the same. It was strange to him that all the years of being involved with women, being dumped countless times, he had never been so tied up in knots. “So this is love?” he asked himself bemusedly.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. He made no move to answer it, choosing to stand there, staring at the closed door. Whoever it was, most likely Dee, he was in no condition to see anyone. He certainly had no explanation for him if that was what he was after. A moment later, he heard a key in the lock and the knob began to turn. “Drake…are you here?” he heard JJ’s soft voice ask as the door swung open.
“JJ, what are you doing here?” he asked.
JJ closed the door behind him and began to look at Drake, then around the room. Had Drake been drinking since he got home? The scattered bottles, most of them appearing empty would suggest that had been the case. Drake himself looked as if he could barely stand. JJ quickly moved to his side and took his arm, leading him to the couch. “What the Hell have you been doing?” he demanded. “Trying to drink your self into a coma?”
“Not a coma so much as…well…the word stupor comes to mind,” Drake answered bluntly.
“More like stupid!” he shrieked back at him.
As soon as Drake heard those words, his anger returned. “What did you come here for? To lecture me? To rant at me for punching Dee? Whatever it was just get it over with!”
“I just came to see how you were doing,” JJ told him in a voice that was instantly calmer than it had been just seconds ago.
Drake sighed and sat down on the couch. He knew exactly what he needed to do, to try to save himself from all of this pain. With a look into JJ’s eyes he knew just how tough it was going to be, to say what he needed to say. “Sit down,” he told JJ. “We need to talk.”
JJ took the offered seat beside him with trepidation. There was something in the way he had said those last words, the way that his shoulders were slumped, that worried him. It was silent between them and Drake could not meet his eyes. JJ slowly moved closer to him on the couch. As they sat there side by side, the soft music playing in the background, JJ reached out for Drake’s injured hand. Their fingers touched and Drake recoiled. He finally spoke and the words were so soft, JJ scarcely heard him.
“We need to end this.”
Upon hearing it aloud, JJ was stunned. He had been wary of what Drake had wanted to tell him, but somehow he had not been expecting this. “What?” he managed in an almost breathless voice.
“I don’t think we should continue this…arrangement,” he clarified; choosing his words carefully. He still stared down at the floor, not able to look JJ in the eyes. “Let’s face facts, this is not helping either of us.” There was so much more he wanted to say, he was fairly bursting with it. He wanted to tell JJ that he loved him, tell him to give up on Dee, but he was too much of a coward to face the rejection.
JJ was so dazed by what was happening that he was not thinking clearly. He found that all of his concern for Drake was replaced by overwhelming anger. “You found somebody else to screw? Didn’t you?”
“What?” Drake asked incredulous. It was now that his head snapped up and he was staring at JJ as if he had grown a second head. “What the fuck are you saying? It‘s not about fucking somebody else, its about what is best for us.”
“Bullshit!” JJ snapped. He could feel his anger escalating in reaction to Drake’s denial. His brain was flooded with thoughts and questions; was Drake really fucking someone else? If so, who? Images of every possible woman scrolling through his head. “Tell me,” he commanded. “Just who are you messing around with now?”
“Are you dense?!” Drake retorted. “I just said that I was not fucking anybody else.” Drake knew he should have just stopped at that statement, but the alcohol was affecting his judgment and self control. “I don’t have to be screwing someone else to face reality; unlike you who has lived in their own goddamn fantasy world for the last ten years. Mooning over a man who has absolutely no interest in you.” He watched as the fury seemed to melt from JJ’s face to be replaced by crushing sadness, but it was too late, he could not stop himself. “And, when am I supposed to have been meeting with someone else, when you have been stuck to me like glue for weeks?”
JJ stood there facing Drake, feeling as if his world were being turned upside down. If he had any doubts that he had fallen in love with the man standing before him, they would no longer remain. The intense pain he felt as Drake hurled his insults at him, would have confirmed everything. He was not sure how he remained standing, when all he wanted to do was collapse to the floor. Suddenly, he felt the burning wetness in his eyes and realized too late that he was sobbing. He willed that his anger return, but it could not survive the sorrow he felt. Unconsciously, he backed away from Drake and then turned and ran for the door. What would he do now?
Drake was left there, staring at the empty space around him. Well, he had finally done it. He had managed to hurt the one person who had cared enough to show up here and check on him. The problem was that it was not enough anymore. He did not want JJ’s friendship or concern; he wanted him to love him. He raised the bottle still in his hand and brought it to his lips once more.
…
The next few days, found JJ trying his best to forget about Drake. He was actually thankful that Drake had been suspended, because it allowed him to sequester himself in their office. He found himself avoiding everyone at the station; Ryo, Dee, the Chief, Rose, Ted. It was as if seeing them would bring the image of Drake into his mind once more. At least once a day, he would think to himself, “What is going to happen when Drake returns?” After everything that happened he was not sure that he would be able to be around him anymore. Would he become to Drake what he had become to Dee; an annoyance to be dodged at every turn. He could feel the tears return to his eyes at the thought. There was only one thing he could do at this point, he stood and wiped the evidence of his tears from his eyes. With a heavy heart he walked from his office, and headed to the Chief’s office.
…
The next day, there was a knock on Drake’s door and he rushed to answer it. He did not want to admit that he hoped it would be JJ on the other side. When he had woken up the morning after his last conversation with JJ, his head had been pounding and his memories were vague. However, one memory had been crystal clear, the image of JJ’s tear streaked face. As the door swung open, he was surprised to see Dee standing there. “Can I come in?” he asked.
Drake nodded, stepping aside to allow him to enter. “You come here to punch me back?” he asked with a sarcastic laugh.
“Figured I might as well try to find out why you punched me first,” was his reply. “I mean…Hell…maybe I deserved it.”
Drake still did not feel ready to tell him the truth, not about everything. Despite this, he figured he could at least partly explain his actions. “You didn’t deserve it,” he began quietly. “When you made that comment about flirting with JJ, it pissed me off. JJ has been my friend and partner, I felt…protective.” It had been on the tip of his tongue to say jealous, but he had managed to stop himself.
“That‘s what this was about?” Dee asked in surprise. “It never crossed my mind.” Drake was not really sure what to say. He had spent so much of his time these last few weeks debating and obsessing over every little thing inside of his own head, was it possible that Dee had not even considered JJ as the cause of his anger. Drake moved to the sofa and collapsed down with a sigh. Dee said nothing else until he had joined him. “You know, if JJ was the reason you punched me…you acted more like a jealous boyfriend than a concerned friend.”
Drake was not sure what to say to that. He found that he just sat there, waiting, unable to deny or rebut what Dee had claimed. The silence persisted for a few more minutes, before he heard Dee sigh. “Does JJ know?” he asked.
“Know what?” Drake demanded, “Just what are you insinuating?”
“Oh don’t play dumb,” Dee snapped. “Does JJ know that you like him?” Drake refused to speak, sitting there as still as a statue. “I’m just asking, because JJ told the Chief yesterday that he wanted a transfer.”
That got Drake’s attention. “A transfer?!”
“Yeah, he apparently decided that he was going to use up all of his vacation time and then take a transfer to another precinct,” Dee explained. He stood and looked at Drake with an expression of understanding. “Well, I guess I should leave you alone to think.” Without another word, another look, he walked out. Drake was now once again left with his thoughts. Why did JJ want to transfer? Was it because of Dee? Or because of him? He had to know, beyond that he was not sure what is next step would be, but for the moment nothing seemed more important that knowing the truth. More than that, did he really want to let JJ leave without telling him that he loved him? He knew that if he did not go now, he never would. Once he had decided, he wasted no time in cleaning himself up, dressing, and running out the door to hail a cab. He was glad that there was no sign of Dee as he rushed from the building.
The ride to JJ’s apartment building had never seemed longer. He had raced to the elevator, drawing curious looks from the other tenants. His feet could not move fast enough until he was standing in front of JJ’s door. His hand was raised, poised to knock, but he paused. His heart was pounding in his ears and his throat felt dry. He was not ready for this after all. What on Earth could he possibly say, to stop him from leaving. Just as he was about to turn and walk away, head home, the door opened and JJ was standing there in the doorway. “How long do you plan to stand out there?” he asked.
Drake dropped his clenched hand to his side and looked down. “Can I come in?” he asked. JJ did not say anything, just remained there, blocking the doorway.
“What are you doing here, Drake?” he questioned with a soft sigh.
“I heard you were requesting a transfer,” he answered. JJ seemed surprised that he knew about it; the only one he had told was Ryo. He smiled a little to himself as he thought, “Ryo must be trying to help.” He stared at Drake, standing there looking so upset. His heart was twisted in knots and his fingers itched to reach out for him. It felt like it had been months since they held each other, years since they had kissed; instead of just a few days. He had to wonder if Drake had missed him at all. He had been unable to sleep. He would toss and turn for hours on end and then end up sobbing into his pillow like a broken hearted teenager. Did Drake have any inkling of what he had been going through?
“What does it matter?” he asked finally. “I would figure you would be happy to have me out of your hair.”
Drake reached out and grabbed JJ’s hand. “I don’t want you out of my hair,” he mumbled. “Does it really hurt that much? Being close to Dee without being his lover? Is it really so bad that you have to leave?” Drake felt ridiculous and childish as he asked those questions, but he needed to know. One look into JJ’s eyes and he could tell that he had been surprised by the questions as well. He kept his gaze focused on those beautiful blue eyes, that looked as if they were began to tear up. He was scared to pose the question, but no one would ever accuse him of not trying. “Am I not enough for you?”
As he spoke the words, the simple surprise in JJ’s expression became the portrait of shock. His lips moved, but there were no words. JJ was so stunned by what he had heard from Drake, that his tongue was in knots. Had Drake really just asked him, if he was enough? It was a question he had been wanting to ask Drake for days, obsessing over it endlessly. His hand was still in Drake’s and he could feel his pulse quicken, his fingers clasped Drake’s hand and gripped it tightly. In a flash, he had pulled him inside and slammed the door. Their lips met and JJ found himself wrapping around Drake in every conceivable way; his legs around Drake’s waist, his arms around his neck. JJ could feel himself getting swept away by Drake’s kiss, the way his lips worked passionately, yet gentle against his own. The way his tongue slipped through and ignited a burning need within him.
Just as he was about to truly lose control, he felt Drake pull away. “What am I doing?” he asked. Drake walked them over to the couch and untangled their bodies, sitting JJ down in front of him. “I know you like me, at least like being with me…” he continued. “But, it is not enough anymore.” JJ’s heart was in his throat, what did he mean? He waited with baited breath for Drake to continue. “I want you to love me, not Dee.”
“Dee?” JJ repeated.
“Yeah…” Drake trailed off, running his fingers through his hair. “I want you to be in love with me.” He let out a mocking laugh and looked down at the floor. “God, I feel so dumb. We were just supposed to be fooling around, and I go and fall in love.” The happiness that flowed through him at hearing those words was indescribable. Drake loved him! He could no longer hold back, launching himself from the couch and back into Drake’s arms.
“I love you too!” he cried out, and then his lips were joined with Drake’s once more. JJ was instantly swept away by Drake’s passionate response. Everything became a blur as they moved into the bedroom, their hands working to remove all of their clothing while remaining locked in their embrace. JJ could feel little jolts coursing through him in every spot that Drake touched. He was moaning, aching with desire and a need so great he could not describe it. When he fell back onto the bed, he stared up at Drake above him, and could not stop himself from saying those words again. “I love you Drake.”
Drake looked down at JJ with a bright smile on his face, hearing those words made his heart pound. Of course, he could feel himself responding in other ways as well. Small droplets of sweat began to bead on his skin, his body was so quick to respond to JJ’s touch, his smile, his kiss. He bent his head for another kiss. There were lots of things that he wanted to say, but there would be plenty of time later. JJ moaned into his kiss and his hands were digging into his shoulders. He broke their kiss to move lower, trailing from his neck down into the hollow of his throat. His lips and tongue traveled lower over his flat chest, pausing to flick his tongue out over one of JJ’s nipples.
He smiled as JJ’s head fell back and he groaned with pleasure. “Please,” he heard him pleading softly. “I need you.” Drake could not suppress his own moan at those words and moved even lower, this time his tongue tracing its path along the indentations of JJ’s fit body. He hesitated as he approached JJ’s length. This was definitely new territory for him and he could deny that he was nervous. At the same time, he knew that he loved JJ and that he wanted to make him feel incredible. He closed his eyes and allowed his tongue to stroke against him, then licked his lips before taking the tip into his mouth.
JJ’s back arched, the sensation was overpowering all of his senses. When he managed to relax once more on the bed, he could not help himself from looking down at his lover, lavishing him with attention. “Oh God!” he moaned. His hand flew to his mouth, trying to stifle his response. Drake looked so intense as he sucked him, gradually taking more and more into his mouth. JJ tried to speak, tell him that he did not have to do what he was doing, but all he managed were helpless gasps of pleasure. Even when he began to feel his climax approaching, he could not seem to vocalize the warning. Settling instead for reaching down and pushing Drake back. Drake stared back at him with a expression of confusion. It was only then that he managed to speak, “I was too close…” he panted. “I want you inside of me when I cum.”
That was apparently all Drake needed to hear. He had raised up and was digging in the bedside table for the lubricant and a condom. Within seconds, JJ felt Drake’s weight pushing him down into the mattress as Drake raised his legs up to his shoulders. Heat and electricity went coursing through him, as they became one. Drake’s head leaned forward as he thrust completely inside. As they kissed, JJ tried to concentrate on relaxing his body for Drake. They quickly developed a slow yet intense rhythm that left JJ clinging to Drake, moaning his name, almost breathless. He could feel Drake touching that spot hidden inside of him on every thrust, giving him no time to recover. He wanted to make this last, make up for the lost days, but he could no longer hold back. “Drake…I…Oh God!…I”
Drake’s lips traced their way to his ear and he heard him whisper. “You are so beautiful JJ.” The crescendo came, JJ’s climax came crashing through him as his body stiffened and tightened. Though he was still moaning uncontrollably, he heard Drake’s next words as clearly as if they had been spoken in silence. “I love you JJ.” Then Drake’s own peak of pleasure came and he collapsed onto JJ. As he held Drake close, he could scarcely believe this had all been real. He was in love, and he was loved in return. He had never felt more whole and complete. He could feel his eyelids fluttering closed and then felt a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose.
…
When JJ awoke, he was alone in bed. A glance at his alarm clock showed that it was ten at night. “Oh no!” he thought. “Drake would not have left again? Would he?” He leapt from bed only to fall back in pain. Who would have thought a few days of abstinence would have left him so rusty. He must have made quite a commotion because Drake came running into the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked with concern in his expression.
“I got up too fast,” JJ responded. “Where have you been?” Drake smiled and left the room. When he returned, he came with a tray of breakfast food and orange juice. “You made me breakfast? At ten at night?” he asked.
“Of course,” he stated, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I hope you like it.”
They held each other in bed as they ate and the silence between them was comfortable. JJ finally spoke by asking, “Drake, I know this is not important, but why did you hit Dee?”
Drake blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. “He…uh…well…To be honest, he said that he was not used to you not glomping him all the time and that he had considered flirting with you to get things back to normal.”
“You hit him for me?” JJ asked in shock. Drake in his embarrassment, could only nod. He could not help it, he kissed him. “That’s sweet of you.” He rested his head on Drake’s chest and felt his arms wrap around him tenderly. This is what he had been looking for, for all those years. To think, he could have missed out on all of this. It was strange to him that it took a simple little kiss to set this course for them. The strings of fate had seemed to wrap around them and tie them to each other, though neither had seen it happening. Now, he would do anything for him, to stay by his side forever.
The End
Author’s Notes:
Thanks Again To All Who Reviewed or Favorited This Story! I am considering a sequel and would love to get some response to the idea. So, Sequel? Yes? Or No?