Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Three Times A Charm ❯ Chapter 11

Title: Three Times A Charm

Author: JadeHeart

Located/Archived: on AdultFanFiction.net. If anyone would like it, please ask me first!

Fandom: Fake

Rating: X

Warnings: yaoi, angst

Timeline: follows on directly from the end of Vol 7

Summary: Be careful in choosing the words you say…

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they belong to the creators of `Fake', nor am I making any profits from this.

 

 

 

Chapter 11

 

 

Clink.

 

The small sound pulled Dee back from his thoughts and he looked down at the steaming coffee mug before him on the low table.

 

“Thought you might like something to drink.” Ryo's quiet voice reached him. Looking up he saw his partner also seated on the floor at the table adjacent to his own position. He said nothing but reached out to pick up the drink.

 

Ryo watched Dee's motions, drinking himself. A frown creased his forehead. He had been so relieved when he had seen Dee standing at the window when he had reached Mother's. He had felt the tension completely leave his body, the headache that had been forming dissipated, as he realized his search was over.

 

Dee had joined him a moment later, exiting the door, saying a few words and giving some hi-fives to some of the many young kids crowding around him. Ryo smiled at the sight. For all Dee claimed he didn't like kids, they did tend to gravitate towards him in one way or another, and he knew that Dee would do anything to protect a child. His care and protectiveness of both Bikky and Carol over these past couple of years clearly showed that. It was one of the many things that Ryo loved about his partner.

 

Dee gave a final wave and walked slowly over to Ryo. As he drew nearer, Ryo frowned again in concern as he saw the dark bruises that marred Dee's face, the two black eyes making him look like a raccoon, and the line of dark stitches running up into the hairline.

 

Ryo hurried the last couple of steps towards Dee, closing the gap between them. He reached out a hand but didn't touch Dee's face when he saw the slight flinch in his partner's eyes. It probably hurts quite a bit, Ryo thought, letting his hand drop.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked peering at Dee. “Shouldn't you still be in hospital?”

 

Dee looked off to one side, avoiding Ryo's eyes. “I'm fine. It looks worse than it is.”

 

“It looks painful.”

 

Dee shrugged. “I've got plenty of painkillers.”

 

“Oh.” Ryo's frowned deepened. There was something wrong. Dee was definitely not being his usual self. Was he in more pain than he was letting on? “Come on. I've got the car. I don't want you taking the subway when you're not well.”

 

“Hmm.” Dee murmured and followed Ryo to the parking lot nearby.

 

Ryo drove to his place, not even asking Dee if he wanted to go there or directly home. He was getting more worried about Dee by the minute, and wanted to make certain that he was okay. The drive had been completely silent. Ryo had almost tried to begin a conversation a few times, but the way Dee had sat slumped in the passenger seat, head leaning against the window, just staring silently out at the world passing them, didn't encourage Ryo to continue.

 

Dee still hadn't said anything as they had mounted the stairs to reach Ryo's apartment, or when he sat with a thump on the floor. Ryo wondered if maybe the painkillers were having some side-effects, or were just so strong that they had caused the man to almost zone out. This complete on-going silence was so unlike his partner and it worried Ryo a lot. It reminded him too much of when Mother had been badly hurt, and he had seen Dee withdraw into himself. He hadn't liked seeing his partner like that back then. He still didn't like it.

 

“Dee?” Ryo said hesitantly, putting his mug down carefully. He received no answer. He could see that Dee had drifted back into his own thoughts. What was the matter?, Ryo wondered. “Dee?” he spoke again.

 

This time Dee looked up. “Hmm?”

 

Ryo could see dark shadows clouding Dee's normally clear bright eyes. He reached up a hand and ran it nervously through his hair. This strange Dee was making him uncomfortable. He wanted to comfort him, to take away the pain, but he didn't know how to approach this person, this stranger.

 

“Dee, what's wrong? Can I help at all?” Dee looked at him a moment longer and his lips parted slightly as though to speak and then closed again as he turned his head away from Ryo's gaze.

 

That scared Ryo. He reached out a hand to brush his fingers lightly along the back of Dee's. His eyes widened and his heart thumped hard in his chest as Dee snatched his hand away from that touch. What… ?

 

Ryo froze. Dee had /never/ pulled away from him! Ever since the first day they had met, Dee had /never/ moved away from his touch! If anything, Dee was by far the more touchy-feely type of person than Ryo was, it was naturally a part of the way Dee communicated with people; a slap on the back, a soft punch on the arm, an arm draped around the shoulders. Why did Dee pull away? What had he done?!

 

“Dee?” Ryo pleaded now, knowing it sounded in his voice but he didn't care. Dee's behaviour was scaring him, truly scaring him. “Please, what's wrong? Tell me. I….I don't know what to do for you and I hate seeing you like this.”

 

The silence continued, neither of them even moving as the tableau held and Ryo felt a tear gather in the corner of his eye, when he heard Dee give a deep sigh and finally turn his head back to look at him.

 

“Don't you start crying, dumbass.” he said softly, slowly reaching out a hand and using his thumb to gently brush the dampness away. Dee sighed again, withdrawing his hand. “You know it's unfair when you do that. It just makes me want to take care of you.” He picked up his mug and took another sip.

 

Ryo continued to watch him carefully, still worried. At least he was talking now, that was a huge relief for him.

 

“How did you know I was at Mother's?” Dee asked quietly, looking down at the table.

 

“I didn't know for certain. You had already left the hospital when I got there, and I tried calling you but couldn't get you at home, or on your cell. You weren't at your apartment and didn't go back to work, so that was the only place I could think of to try.”

 

“You went to the hospital?”

 

“Yeah.” Ryo idly drew patterns on the table. “Why didn't you call me? I would have come down to the hospital straight away and helped you.” Dee shrugged and Ryo saw the wince. “How badly are you hurt?”

 

“Not bad.”

 

“You don't look too good.”

 

Dee waved his concern away. “I'm fine. It's mainly bruises, that's all.”

 

“JJ said you had an accident.”

 

“Yeah. Look, it's no biggie. Stop fussing.”

 

Silence again.

 

“Are….you….mad at me?” Ryo finally asked in a small voice. It was all he could think it could be that was making Dee act so different. It felt like Dee was a completely different person, that this wasn't his partner at all sitting with him. That someone else had taken over that cherished body, purloined it for their own purposes. Everything about Dee was…wrong. The silence, the abstractness, the curtness of voice….everything.

 

Dee looked up, seeing Ryo looking at him with such intensity in his dark eyes. Inwardly he sighed, trying to steel his heart, and fight his urge to reach out and embrace the other man, to bury his head in the crook of the other's shoulder and cry, just as he had with Mother. But he wouldn't. He had to be strong.

 

Was he mad at Ryo? Yes, he was in a way, but it wasn't all Ryo's fault as such. Ryo couldn't help being the person he was, and it was exactly by being that type of person that made Dee first fall for him. He wouldn't want Ryo to be anything different. The only thing he wished could be different was Ryo's feelings for him and their relationship.

 

“Look, Dee, if I've done something to piss you off, please tell me. I can't stand seeing you like this, or this silent treatment you're giving me. If I've done something wrong, I want to fix it! I want to make it right between us again! We're partners!”

 

“Ryo,” Dee said after a moment. “What do you really feel for me?”

 

The question caught Ryo slightly off-guard. It wasn't what he had been expecting. “What....what do you mean?”

 

He saw Dee close his eyes briefly as though in pain. “Never mind.” Dee muttered, turning his head away again.

 

“No, tell me!” Ryo said earnestly leaning forward. “What do you mean?”

 

“What do you mean `what do I mean'?” A touch of anger crept into Dee's voice. “Why do I even need to clarify it at all? You should know what I mean! How much plainer can I say it? I asked you how you feel about me! Why is that such a difficult question for you to understand?!”

 

“I…you....” Ryo stammered a little, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. “You know how I feel! I've told you!”

 

“When did you tell me?”

 

“What…”

 

“If you ask me `what do I mean', I'm going to kick your butt so hard you end up in China, you jerk!”

 

Ryo clamped down on his question which was going to be exactly that. “I told you when we were on the Brooklyn Bridge that night.” he said between gritted teeth.

 

“How long ago?” Dee demanded staring hard at Ryo.

 

Ryo frowned, thinking back, then half shrugged. “I don't know, about 4 months ago. Maybe.”

 

“Four months.” Dee repeated.

 

“Yeah, I guess about that.”

 

“Okay. So what have we been doing since?”

 

Ryo frowned deeper. He was beginning to get really confused as to where this was supposed to be going. “Well, we've been working.”

 

He saw Dee roll his eyes. “I didn't mean about work. I meant about us!”

 

“What…” Dee's hard gaze stopped the automatic question again before he could utter it so he thought quickly and replaced what he had been about to say. “We've still seen each other.” he said lamely.

 

“Seen each other.” Dee repeated. “Have we done anything else?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“That's exactly what I'm asking, jerk!”

 

“Don't keep swearing at me, you prick!” Ryo snapped back.

 

“Then don't act like a dumb blond!” Dee shouted. They were both leaning over the table now, faces only a few inches away. “You tell me you love me four months ago! Four months, you asshole, and you haven't said it since, and we haven't done anything else!”

 

“Are you saying you're just horny and are upset because you can't get a screw when you want it?!” Ryo almost screamed at him. “Use your fucking hand!”

 

“That's not what I'm saying, you fucking bastard!” Dee snarled leaning closer again. “I just want to know if you still love me!”

 

“Of course I do, you fucking dimwitted idiot!” Ryo's hot breath caressed Dee's lips. “You are such a self-centred moron who can't see past his own nose half the time!”

 

“You bastard….!” Dee's tirade cut off as Ryo snaked a hand around the back of his neck, pulling his head forward to close the last few inches between them and captured his lips in a bruising kiss.

 

The sudden action taken by Ryo stole Dee's breath away, sucking the resistance immediately from him as the yearned for touch of Ryo's hands and lips on his body made him melt into the embrace. Ryo……he murmured in his mind, eyes closing and leaning in closer.

 

Ryo was angry. He was angry because he didn't understand what Dee was trying to tell him. He had always thought he could understand his partner so well, but there seemed to be a distance growing between them that he didn't know how to breach. He felt as though Dee was slipping away from him, and the growing fear made him angry.

 

He was angry at Dee's questions. Did the man only think about sex?! Was that all this was about to him all the time? Ryo wasn't in this for the sex. That was still a little frightening, a little strange, to him. He was with Dee because he had fallen in love with the man, for all his little foibles and mannerisms.

 

He was angry at the fear he felt of being left alone again in the world, of losing the person that was most important to him. Like when he had lost his parents.

 

He was just plain angry.

 

When he realized just how close Dee's face was to his, he couldn't resist reaching out and pulling the other in for a kiss. He hated fighting with Dee, especially when it seemed they were fighting over nothing important. He hated it.

 

The touch of Dee's lips on his sent tiny jolts along his nerves like electricity sparking. He felt the warmth flow across his body at the familiar touch of the other's skin, a warmth that kept growing as memories of previous times spent together assailed him. The touch of hands, the caress of lips, flesh against flesh….

 

He brought his other hand up to cup the side of Dee's face and suddenly felt Dee pull back with a jerk and a sharp cry of “Aagh!”. He released the other man, startled, to see the tears of pain in Dee's eyes and realized then that he had forgotten his partner's injuries.

 

“I'm so sorry, Dee, honest! I didn't mean to hurt you! I'll go get some ice.” He made to stand but Dee reached out and grabbed his hand, holding him in place.

 

Dee took a deep breath. “It's okay.”

 

“It's not.” Ryo insisted. “You're hurt!”

 

Dee tugged on his hand, forcing the other to reseat himself. “It'll be okay in a moment. It just…caught me my surprise.”

 

Ryo leant forward to peer at Dee closely, seeing the pain still glazing his eyes. “You're really not well, Dee. You've got to stop pushing yourself and get some rest.”

 

“Yeah, I will. Promise.”

 

Ryo settled down next to Dee, their shoulders now touching. “Good. It'll be lonely at work without you.”

 

Dee looked over at his partner. “Going to miss me, are you?”

 

Ryo dropped his head shyly. “Yes. Always.”

 

Ryo didn't see the soft smile that curved Dee's lips upon hearing that confession. “That's nice to know.”

 

“It's hard, you know,” Ryo continued speaking.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Being at work together, being so busy all the time. We don't seem to just spend time talking like we used to. The first time we've had to spend any time together away from work was on the weekend, and both of us spent most of that pretty much just sleeping. It just…hasn't seemed the same.”

 

“Yeah. I know.”

 

“I….I didn't mean to lie to my aunt, you know.” Ryo said very softly. “I mean about us. I just didn't realize that she thought anything like that. I didn't know what to say.”

 

Dee bit back on the sharp retort that Ryo could have told the truth. It would accomplish nothing by saying it. What's done is done. He felt warm fingers slide into his open hand as Ryo shyly reached out to him. “I just don't know how to tell them, and I don't know what they'll say. I don't want to hurt them.”

 

Dee sighed inwardly. That is just so like Ryo. Spending all his time worrying about the feelings of everyone else, and never wanting to do anything to hurt anyone. Dee took a deep breath and closed his fingers gently around Ryo's, completing the hold. Ryo hadn't realized yet that if you tried to please everyone, you would still end up hurting someone - and sometimes that `someone' was going to even be yourself.

 

“Do….do you think that you will be able to tell them?” Dee asked a little hesitantly. “Someday?”

 

Ryo was silent for a long moment as Dee's heart beat hard in his chest, waiting for the answer. Now he was almost sorry he had even asked .

 

“I want to. I really do.” Dee realised that was probably the best he was going to get, even though it really hadn't answered his question at all. Guess some things just don't change.

 

“I don't want to have everyone know though.” Ryo continued. Dee glanced over at his bowed head. “I don't think I could stand the looks and talk at work. It would feel like everything I did would be getting scrutinised and talked about. I don't want that.”

 

“I know. Look, I'm cool with you not wanting the guys to know.”

 

Ryo cast a small smile up at him. “Thanks.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“What?”

 

“Why don't we try and go out on that date like we talked about ages ago?” Dee said.

 

“Date?”

 

“Don't tell me you've forgotten?!”

 

“No, no! Of course, I haven't!” Ryo assured him, holding up a hand. “I just thought…well, after the last time…”

 

“What? That I didn't want to go out on a date with you? We've hardly had the time lately.”

 

“Yeah, that's true.”

 

“So you want to?”

 

Ryo's warm smiled was a clear answer. “I'd like that.”

 

“So how about Friday?”

 

“Oh, I'll have to see if I can have someone look after Bikky.”

 

“Sure.” Dee tightened his grip on Ryo's hand, dropping his voice. “I wont keep you out too late. Then after our date, how about we come back here and pick up where we left off?” He leant in closer to brush a soft kiss across Ryo's ear, watching the other's face flush. “It's been a long time since I've felt your body next to mine.” he whispered seductively in Ryo's ear. He could hear the hitch in Ryo's breath at his comment and almost chuckled.

 

“I…. don't think that would be…. a good idea.”

 

“Eh?” Dee pulled back a little, surprised. “Why not?”

 

“Well, Bikky will probably be here. You can't stay over.”

 

“Why the hell not? I have before!”

 

“But that was….before…” Ryo blushed harder. “before we….you know.”

 

Dee frowned at his partner. “Are you saying that just because I'm not crashing here due to work commitments and it's because I want to spend the night with you, that I can't stay over?”

 

“Well, we can't… do anything.”

 

“Sure we can!” Dee wanted to know. “We can do plenty. The kid wouldn't know about it.”

 

“We'd…” Ryo's face was completely flushed now, the redness flowing down his neck even. “There might be noise.”

 

“So what if there is?”

 

“We can't have Bikky hear.”

 

“Okay, we'll keep it down.”

 

“No!” Ryo said with some force and he snatched his hand from Dee's loosened grip. “I don't want Bikky knowing about this.”

 

Dee stared at Ryo, dumbfounded. “Why? How do you think you can keep this a secret from him, for goodness sakes? The kid lives with you!”

 

“That's what I mean! I want to give Bikky a normal life. I don't want anything to upset that for him.”

 

“Normal? What do you mean `normal'?”

 

“I want him to have a happy, healthy home life that he can come back to each day. I don't want there to be anything strange about it to upset him.”

 

“Do you think what we are doing is `strange'? Is that what you are saying?”

 

“Well, you can't say it's completely the average situation!”

 

“That doesn't make it abnormal!” Dee shouted, really angry now. “Do you think this is some kind of disease that Bikky is suddenly going to catch? Do you think it's so god-damn contagious that just by being around us that the kid's going to turn into a raging homo!”

 

Ryo pushed himself away from Dee, feeling the rage emanating from the man. “No! That's not what I'm saying!”

 

“It fucking well sounds like it, you dickhead!”' Dee thrust himself to his feet, violently knocking the table and sending both coffee mugs crashing to their sides and the contents spilling across the table to drip over the edges. He glared down at Ryo still crouched on hands and knees, looking up. “Sorry you think I'm so sick that I obviously infected you against your will! I can see that you just couldn't fight against it. Yep, you're right, it's just a sickness. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll recover in time!” Dee ran to the door and was gone before Ryo could say anything.

 

“DEE!!” he cried out, running after him and out through the still swinging door but Dee was gone. Ryo stepped back into his apartment, closing the door carefully. He stood here, palms against the door, forehead leaning on the wood. Tears dripped from his eyes, splashing between his feet. He slammed a closed fist hard against the door, feeling it shudder under the impact, ignoring the pain in his hand. The tears continued to fall.

 

That's not what I was trying to say, he screamed out to Dee in his mind. He slid to his knees still leaning against the door. It's not what he was trying to say at all. He was glad to be with Dee. He didn't think it was wrong. Strange, yes, different yes, but not wrong. If anything, he had never felt that a relationship had been so right! He didn't think that it was sick, or perverted, or anything like that. He wanted to be with Dee, more than he had anyone in his life!

 

But was it so wrong for him to be concerned about Bikky? The boy was still quite young, he might not understand fully what he and Dee felt for each other. Bikky and Dee had never got along even before, how would the boy feel if he knew that Ryo had actually succumbed and slept with Dee? Ryo felt his face flush again.

 

Would Bikky feel that Dee had replaced him in Ryo's life? Ryo didn't want to give the child any cause for doubting his place in Ryo's home and heart. The boy had already lost one father. He had to make Bikky's welfare his first priority, it was only right. He was responsible for the boy's wellbeing, he had taken on that responsibility when he accepted the boy into his home, and he wouldn't risk that in any way. No matter what his feelings were for Dee, he had to make certain that Bikky was safe and secure at all times. Bikky had made his feelings quite clear on the subject, and since Bikky detested Dee so much, he would only be uncomfortable knowing about their developed relationship. So Ryo couldn't have Dee staying over if there was anything more going on. He had to try and make Dee understand that. He really hadn't been trying to hurt Dee at all!