Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Three Times A Charm ❯ Chapter 27

Title: Three Times A Charm

Author: JadeHeart

Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first!

Fandom: Fake

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: some bad language, sexual thoughts

Timeline: follows on directly from the end of Vol 7

Summary: Some answers are found.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they belong to the creator of `FAKE', nor am I making any profits from it.

 

 

Chapter 27

 

Dee sat in the chair and gazed out the window. The sky outside was a soft blue, clouds scurried past blown by the stiff breeze. The curtains were drawn back and the sun's rays fell upon him. He could feel the warmth against his face and for a moment closed his eyes and let it fill him, wishing it could thaw the iciness that encased his heart.

 

When Ryo had first told him that he would be released from hospital he had felt a great sense of relief. Firstly because he would finally be able to get out of this place, he hated hospitals with a passion. Secondly, because then he would finally be able to escape Ryo's constant presence, although a part of him wailed at the thought of not having Ryo in his life, of not being able to see him everyday, and to never have his touch again. For all that he wanted to get as far as away from Ryo as possible in the hope that distance at least might just stop the terrible ache in his heart. The other part of him wanted nothing more than to desperately cling to every moment with Ryo that he could and continue to stay near him. This constant conflict internally had been driving him to the point of distraction.

 

A sigh fell from his lips as he opened his eyes and watched morosely as some swallows flitted past the window. No matter how much he wanted to stay with Ryo he knew that he had to try and make a break. So he would go home and resign himself to only seeing Ryo in work and try to forget all the hopes and dreams that he had held so closely in his heart.

 

Then the bombshell had been dropped - he would be staying at Ryo's place. There was to be no respite.

 

He had desperately thought about where else he could go, a way to get out of this predicament. He racked his brain, thinking, until finally even he had to admit that there was no where else. He had never before regretted the lack of close friends on his part. The closest person to him, apart from Mother, was in fact Ryo. Up until now, he had always felt that it was better to keep people at a comfortable distance. Find people you can get along with, that you have things in common and can have a good time with, but don't let them into your life. If you do, they always seem to have a habit of leaving you. He had made up his mind long ago that he would never be abandoned again. If no-one is close to you, then no-one can leave you. Simple.

 

Now…now he wished that he had a platoon of close buddies who he could contact and find at least one that would be willing to put him up. Instead, there was no-one.

 

He thought about lying to Ryo and saying that there was somewhere else he could go to but he knew that his partner could all too easily check it out, and probably would because he was so conscientious. In fact Ryo would probably check because he could usually see right through Dee, so he really couldn't hide anything from his partner. Another bad point about letting Ryo get so close to him, he seemed to be able to read him like an open book.

 

And, worse, if he tried to lie to Ryo and got busted for it, he would then have to try and explain why he had done so in the first place and what could he say then? I don't want to stay with you because it tears me in pieces every time I see you, or am close to you? That I want to do nothing but reach out and hold you and kiss you and make you mine? Yeah, he could really say all that. The only thing he would be able to do would be to try and tell another lie and Ryo would most likely see through that as well. So it just wasn't worth even trying to bother.

 

So that left him with only two choices; stay in the hospital, or stay with Ryo. Neither appealed. They had all the delight of being in a dentist's chair and having teeth pulled without anesthetic. Still he grudgingly knew that he just couldn't stay in the hospital a moment longer. The sterile environment, the impersonal feel to everything, not to mention the revolting food that appeared to be nothing but mush, no, he had been in this one for far too long and he needed to get out and away from here as soon as possible before he went completely stir crazy. He needed to breathe the fresh air again instead of the re-circulated and filtered stuff. He needed to feel the ground under his feet not ward floors. He needed to be able to sit down with a bottle of beer in front of the TV and laze back and relax. He needed to be able to wear his own clothes instead of having his ass hanging out of these fucking ugly hospital gowns!

 

He needed to get out of the hospital because it reminded him constantly that he was sick and helpless and weak. It reminded him too vividly of his own mortality, and that he tried hard to not think of too much.

 

It also reminded him that he had nothing; no partner, no children, he had no legacy of anything to leave behind him. This touch with death had shown him all too clearly how easily he could be wiped away, and in doing so he would leave nothing behind. No trace what-so-ever that he had ever existed. It was a sobering thought to realize that in this world's view, you were nothing. Dee had never felt like that before and it humbled him. And frightened him.

 

So when it came down to it, he had had little choice but to accept Ryo's hospitality to stay with him, but right up to the moment that they left the hospital he was still fighting against it, wishing that something else would happen that would provide him with a third option.

 

He was that desperate that he had even considered phoning JJ and seeing if he could stay with him, but then wisely had had second thoughts. JJ would probably mother him to death - if he didn't maul him to death first! It had been bad enough when he had visited him in hospital for it had seemed that only Ryo's presence had curbed the boisterous sharp shooter in his usual exuberant attentions. JJ was just too damn wearying to make a stay at his place relaxing for a recuperating body!

 

The first time JJ had arrived was about a week after the pneumonia had set in. He had been very weak, barely able to stay awake most of the time, and on a respirator to ease his laboured breathing. He had been having a reasonably good day; well, better than many had been up till then. Ryo had been perched on the window sill over at the window when JJ had stuck his head in the door and smiled broadly.

 

“Is it safe to come in?” he called out cheerily. Dee saw Ryo hold his finger across his lips to JJ, signifying him to lower his voice, and he saw JJ's gaze flick to him and his features sober a little.

 

“Do I look that bad?” Dee managed to wheeze out without breaking into a cough.

 

JJ drew closer, running a clinical eye over his features and pursed his lips. “Actually you do.” he replied, sitting in the vacant chair by the bed.

 

“Thanks,” Dee said dryly.

 

JJ just shrugged. “Anytime,” was his simply reply.

 

“So how're things going?” Dee wanted to know. He hadn't spoken much with Ryo lately and had felt awkward even trying to do so. There was so much he had wanted to say to his partner and now, since it was evident that Ryo's feelings had changed, none of that could be voice so he was now at a complete loss as to knowing what they could talk about. He had decided it was better to not try and say much at all then, so he was craving for news, anything to break the monotony of his days.

 

“Fine,” JJ said, settling back. “The guys all say hi.”

 

“That's nice. Tell them they all owe me a drink.”

 

“How do you figure that?” JJ questioned, tipping his head to one side.

 

“Cause I bet they were running a book as to whether I was alive or dead, and I bet they all lost!”

 

JJ grinned and shrugged. “Well, you know how it is.”

 

“So what did you bet?” Dee questioned him hoarsely. “Bet you did the same!”

 

“I'm not admitting to anything!” was JJ's noncommittal reply, although he was grinning.

 

“Ha!” was Dee's answer.

 

JJ settled back and little and flicked a quick glance at Ryo before speaking again to Dee. “The investigation is still going over the death of the guy who shot you.” He said seriously. “We've been working in conjunction with the 22nd, since technically you were one of them at the time.”

 

“Found anything?” Dee had to ask although his stomach clenched in anxiety waiting for the answer.

 

“We knew who the guy was, it didn't take long to identify him. He's a hitman for the rival gang of the one you were investigating. Not one of the big boys, really just small fry, taking on all the dirty little jobs in their own backyard, but he had a rap sheet as long as both my arms put together.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

JJ shook his head. “It's all still in progress. They dug the slug out of the body and have been running it through ballistics tests. Jim narrowed it down to the likely weapon type so we've been tracking that. So now it's hopefully just a matter of finding a gun to match. We're tracing the guy's movements over the last few days either side of the shooting. Nothing unusual leading up to it, the normal meeting with some other known mob gorillas and the likes. Probably when he was getting his orders.”

 

“So why the hell was he shooting at me?” Dee questioned hoarsely, frowning. “Was there a hit out on me or something?”

 

JJ shook his head. “Nah, nothing like that. You two just happened to walk in on the middle of a little `friendly' gang-war. From what we can gather, that guy and his buddies had planned to do a little heist on that boat. They knew about the coke and had intended to `relieve' their opposite number of the goods. Of course, just at the moment that they had intended to do that, you and your partner turned up and next minute there was a full on gunfight. You probably weren't aware of this but they weren't just shooting at you. There were a few dead on both sides.

 

As for you, this guy thought that while his buddies were keeping the others busy he might have a chance at still finishing the job but to do that he had to get rid of you first. So that's why he went after you. Of course, by that time the police had been notified and were on their way so he had to skedaddle or be busted. So that was all there was to it.”

 

“So you're saying I was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time?” Dee said, disgruntled.

 

“Yep,” JJ nodded in agreement, smiling. “That'll teach you to about poking your nose in where it doesn't belong!”

 

“Great! Now I'm nothing more than an inconsequential obstacle!”

 

“At least you're still around to talk about it.” JJ reminded him.

 

Dee just rolled his eyes but didn't argue any further.

 

“So are there any suspects?”

 

This time it was JJ's turn to roll his eyes heavenwards. “Suspects? We've got a list a mile long! Guys like that don't exactly have a lot of friends, but they certainly do have a lot of enemies. There are more people who have good reason to want to put a bullet in his brain than we know what to do with it. It was a professional shot. There was nothing shabby about it and matching the slug and type of rifle that fired it showed that it was a shot taken from a distance. So who ever pulled the trigger knew what they were doing and was smack on the mark.”

 

“A sniper?”

 

JJ shrugged. “Quite possible.” He stretched and then stood. “Anyway, we're putting together his movements after the shooting and finding out if there were any suspicious activities or people around his vicinity at that time. We've had a couple of interesting reports that someone had been spotted hanging around, but that hadn't been confirmed.”

 

JJ turned to Ryo now. “I guess you haven't heard much about all this because you were missing for those first couple of days when they were throwing all the information together. We've come a long way since then.”

 

“That's good news.” Ryo said calmly, not moving from his position.

 

JJ eyed him carefully. “You were pretty damn hard to get hold of. You never did say where you were.”

 

“Around.” was Ryo's noncommittal reply. He then smiled at the younger man. “I did get your messages thought, so thanks.”

 

“So you did have your phone on!” JJ said accusingly. “Do you know how many times I rang it? Something like a hundred times! And you couldn't even bother picking up!!”

 

“Sorry,” Ryo said, sincerely. “I was…..in the middle of something, but I did get your text message.”

 

“I was beginning to think that I was never going to get hold of you, and then both you and Dee would have been pissed off with me!” He sounded completely exasperated. “Honestly, between the two of you, you caused me a lot of grief!”

 

“Sorry,” Ryo said again. “But thanks for making certain you called me.” He smiled at the young man. “It meant a lot.”

 

“Ah, what the heck!” JJ said, rolling his eyes with his trademark cheerful smile. He was never one to stay angry for long. “I'm just glad it all worked out! I was worried you were off doing something stupid!”

 

Dee hoped that he was the only one that saw the slight flinch that Ryo made at JJ's words. Even so, his chest tightened painfully as the fear grew again. What have you done, Ryo?!

 

JJ began to make his way to the door when Dee spoke up, unable to stop himself from asking this question. “Has a time of death been established?”

 

JJ looked back over his shoulder, eyes shadowed and again Dee saw his look flicker in Ryo's direction before returning to his. “As near as they can make it, the coroner puts it at around the night Ryo and I were here with you.” He opened the door and raised a hand in farewell. “See ya,” and then left, closing the door quietly behind him.

 

Dee just stared at the door, fear and panic clawing at him. Ryo was a sharp shooter, almost as good as JJ. He could make a shot like that easy. His breathing sped up and he could do nothing to slow it. Ryo couldn't be contacted, even right up to the time of estimated death. He could have still got here to the hospital, there would have still been time. He wheezed as the respirator failed to keep up with his rapid breaths and his chest began to constrict, the tightness bringing on a coughing fit once more. Ryo could have found where the man was, he could have reconnoitered the area, he could have been seen there. He continued to gasp for air, his lungs and throat straining as his mind silently screamed, the efficient hands and soothing voices of the nurses doing little to relieve his anxiety as Ryo was ushered out of the room as he was attended to.

 

As he sat there wheezing and gasping, pain radiating through his entire body, it was nothing compared to the pain in his heart and soul and the tears streaming from his eyes had nothing to do with the physical.

 

JJ had continued to keep them informed of any updates on the case but these things did take time although they had been successful in many of their leads up to that stage. The report of a suspicious character around the dead man's apartment appeared to have been confirmed, although as yet there had been no clear identification.

 

Every time JJ spoke about the case, Dee watched his partner closely, seeing the tiny signs of discomfort, the tensing of muscles, little give-aways that something was up. And Dee had no way of asking Ryo why. All of this did nothing for his own state of mind as he continued to worry more and more, until soon he began to dread JJ's visits and reports as he feared that one day he would hear those dreaded words fall from the young man's lips and then his life would truly be over.

 

However, despite his growing fears he did also have to admit that he was grateful for JJ's spasmodic visits. As much as the younger man annoyed him and drove him crazy most of the times, it was nice to know that he had been missed by someone. And JJ was at least sincere in what he felt, that was something.

 

Dee sighed again, feeling his eyes prickle. He scrubbed at them, refusing to let the unshed tears fall. It would be nice if Ryo had been able to be as open as JJ was. Maybe then they might have had a chance at the start, before it had all gone to shit. Perhaps if it hadn't taken them so long to get together they wouldn't have these problems now.

 

Dee imagined longingly what it might have been like. What if Ryo had responded to his very first overtures right back at the beginning? Where would they be now? They would have been able to share a couple of Christmases together and birthdays. They might have moved in together by now even. He could picture them lying in Ryo's large bed, which of course would have to go with them if they had moved, curled up tightly against each other's naked bodies. He could imagine them cooking breakfast together, or making late night snacks after a long night shift. All those simple, silly homey things that he had so desperately wanted to share with Ryo.

 

A lone tear escaped and slid down his cheek and he brushed it away angrily, shaking his head. Gods, he was such an idiot! Sitting here, deliberately trying to make himself miserable! He was a god-damn pathetic loser! Just get over yourself, Laytner, he chided himself. Get over it and get on with it! Screw everything!

 

But it didn't stop another silent tear.

 

He stood and walked slowly over to the bed, sheets rumpled, open bag lying on the top. He picked up his toiletries bag and dumped it inside the other. At least there had been something positive come out of JJ's last visit and it had finally relieved one nagging worry for Dee. A worry that he hadn't known how to ask or broach with Ryo.

 

JJ had bounded in just a few days ago, clutching a Starbucks coffee in one hand and a large iced donut in the other. Dee had looked up at this sudden entrance and eyed the confectionary, feeling the salvia begin to build in his mouth. He licked his lips as the aroma of the coffee filled his senses and he sniffed deeply, closing his eyes to savour it more fully.

 

“Ah, that's heaven!” he purred. He opened his eyes and held out a hand. “Thanks, JJ. I owe you one.”

 

JJ threw himself into the chair by the bed and sat back as far as he could, remaining out of Dee's reach. “These are mine!” he said, taking a big bite of the donut. “I haven't had breakfast yet!” he managed to mumble out around the mouthful. He washed it down with a great gulp of coffee as Dee scowled at him.

 

“Hey, you're supposed to bring gifts to the sick person in hospital, you ungrateful prick!” Dee snarled, the sight and smell of the coffee and donut beginning to make his stomach rumble almost painfully. He stretched out as far as he could, straining towards his goal. “Gimme that!!”

 

JJ held both items out of reach and away from the grasping hands that looked like they were going to claw him to death to reach their prize. He threw a desperate look towards Ryo who was sitting near the window in silence. “A little help here, please?”

 

Ryo smiled and shook his head, glad to see Dee being a little more energetic instead of just lying there lethargically. He should have known that it would be coffee and sweets to get him moving again - the only other things that could do it was probably pizza and beer!

 

Dee kept complaining and whining, hands futilely trying to snatch the items from JJ's hands until finally the younger man took pity on him and tore a small portion off the donut and handed it to him, then poured some coffee into a glass until it was a quarter full.

 

Dee cradled both like they were fragile treasures and as he popped the tiny piece of donut into his mouth, his eyes closed, and he felt pure ecstasy. He sipped at the coffee, not completely unaware that he had to be a little careful. His stomach had only been fed fairly bland foods up till now, gradually returning to a more normal diet and he didn't want to overload it. Still, the burst of sugar on his tongue, and the assault of caffeine in his system almost sent him into orgasmic throes.

 

“So,” Dee said around the mouthful he was masticating into the tiniest pieces to make it last as long as possible before having to swallow. “What brings you out on this fine day? Miss me that much, did you?”

 

JJ batted his eyes at him with a simpering smile. “Of course, honey. My days are long and miserable without you there, and my nights are even longer. Not to mention sweatier!”

 

Dee screwed up his nose in disgust, glaring at the younger man. “Don't gross me out! I don't want to know about your perverted fantasies!” He swallowed quickly before that thought could sour the delight he had been feeling at the taste of the donut. “And stop jerking off to images of me!”

 

“Ah, my darling Dee,” JJ said airily, looking not a bit chastened. “You have no idea what I can imagine for you.”

 

“And I don't want to know!” Dee put the empty glass back and crossed his arms over his chest, frowning at JJ. “Now, if you are only here to make me sicker than I am already with your perversions, you can go.”

 

JJ waved his anger aside and a slightly more serious expression crossed his face. “No, there is more.” he said. “I thought you might like to know how we've been going with your case.”

 

“Huh?” Dee looked puzzled for a moment at the sudden change of conversation. That's right, they had been trying to track down the suspect, the one who had killed his shooter. There must have been further progress.

 

Then he remembered the rest of his worry as out of the corner of his eye he saw Ryo tense up. Oh, fuck, he thought despairingly. What the hell have you done, Ryo?! Why couldn't you tell me so I know what I'll have to prepare myself for! Why didn't you tell me so I could help you?!

 

His mind was wailing in desperation, making him want to clap his hands over his ears so he couldn't hear JJ's words, words that he felt sure were going to destroy his world entirely. How could he live with himself if Ryo had been responsible for this, that he had done it for him? How could he live with himself if Ryo had to pay for this for the rest of his life?!

 

“Yeah,” JJ went on, seemingly obliviously to the tension in the room between the two other men. “We got a tip off that a known felon was busted crossing the state line in a stolen vehicle. The cop who picked him up had a bad feeling about him so held him for further questioning whilst he did a check. Hidden in the car was a rifle and guess what, our boy also was a known hitman for the rival gang of the one you were snooping on. So they packed him back here and Jim ran some further tests on the rifle and hey, presto, we have a match! How's that for police work?!”

 

It took a moment for Dee to take in what JJ was saying and when he did he automatically looked over at Ryo with almost disbelief. So Ryo…..hadn't done anything?

 

Dee turned back to JJ, still thinking he must have heard incorrectly. “So…you're saying he's the one that did it?”

 

JJ nodded. “Yep. Everything seems to be pointing that way. Of course, he's denying it. Reckons he found the gun or some such crud.” JJ snorted in disdain. “As if we're stupid enough to believe that one!”

 

But what if it was true? Dee couldn't help thinking, his fear not leaving him despite JJ's previous words. What if that was exactly what had happened?! He flicked a glance again at Ryo. Did that mean that Ryo might still have been responsible? He needed to know!

 

“Hey, don't look so worried!” JJ suddenly said, reaching out to tap Dee's arm, focusing his attention back on him. “We've checked things out, inside and out. There's no way his story is holding up! We've got everything from witnesses that have id-ed him when he received his orders, not to mention one of his buddies that is already in custody over another bust that is willing to testify as to what went down. And there is no mistake that it is the right gun and his prints are all over the damn thing. He also couldn't tell us where exactly he's supposed to have miraculously `found' this gun and he was stupid enough to have in his wallet a ticket for the pawn shop where he bought the rifle. And the pawnbroker picked him up out of a line-up.”

 

JJ patted Dee's arm comfortingly. “So don't stress. We've done our job right, from start to finish and every `i' is dotted and every `t' is crossed on this one. The Commissioner didn't want there to be a single loop hole that this bastard could get off on so believe me, he's been going over every detail with a fine tooth comb and he's backing it all the way. So we've got our man!”

 

Dee didn't know whether to feel relieved or not. It was good news that the case was closed, no two ways about that. He was also overjoyed to learn that Ryo hadn't been responsible as he had feared all this time, that was just pure relief. But, at the same time, he almost felt let down in a way because Ryo's behaviour had seemed to indicate that he had been involved. So if he hadn't been responsible for killing the shooter after all, why had he been reacting the way he had been? Dee didn't understand at all, and that in itself did not let all his fears go. There was still something here that Ryo wasn't telling him, something that he didn't want anyone to know and certainly something that he shouldn't have been doing which would be the only explanation for the guilty look that Ryo couldn't completely hide from his partner. And the worse thing was that Dee still couldn't even ask him what it was.

 

JJ glanced at his watch and sighed as he stood. “I'd better get back or the Chief is gonna be on a rampage.” He looked over at Ryo with a frown. “Ever since you pulled your disappearing act he's behaving like he thinks any one of us is going to up and do the same thing. I swear I can see more grey hairs than he had before! Even on his chest!”

 

“How do you know how many grey hairs the Chief's got on his chest?” Dee asked curiously then he shook his head, holding up a hand to forestall an answer. “No, don't tell me, I really don't want to know. I know you like older men but that thought's just wigging me out!”

 

“Don't make me sick!” JJ exclaimed, actually turning pale at the thought of what Dee was implying. “I may like older men but I still like `em good looking! And with all their hair! On their head!!”

 

At the door he turned and blew a kiss at Dee. “Hurry up and get better, honey!” He said with a cheery smile and left.

 

Dee sank back further into the pillows, letting out a breath he hadn't realized that he had been holding. Just that brief conversation had left him exhausted, though he had been pleased he had managed to get all the way through it without having to stop and cough once. Although he had been careful to speak in as soft a voice as possible and keep his tone well modulated to avoid any irritation. That seemed to work the best.

 

He looked over to find that Ryo was still in the same position he had occupied at the window, though he had his head hanging down as he seemed to be contemplating his shoes. I wonder what has been going on, Dee thought, still fighting the urge to know more. It wasn't just morbid curiousity on his part or anything like that. He just knew that something was still wrong, that Ryo's missing time heralded something momentous, and he was just as certain that he wasn't going to like that `something'.

 

“That's good news, don't you think?” he said softly, seeing Ryo's head jerk upwards as he startled his partner out of his deep thoughts.

 

“Ah, yes,” he answered, looking over quickly to Dee and then flushing a little. Whatever relief Dee had felt from JJ's announcement was eroding rapidly in the face of his sure knowledge that there was still something very, very wrong.

 

Dee suddenly remembered something JJ had said once before about Ryo's missing time. “I hadn't known that JJ had tried so hard to call you.” He tried prodding, wondering if he would be able to get anything out of Ryo. “You normally always answer your phone.”

 

“I…” Ryo began, then hesitated. “I was kind of busy.” he finally said. “I heard the phone but couldn't answer it at the time.”

 

“That many times?” Dee quirked an eyebrow at him. JJ had seemed to indicate that he had tried contacting Ryo any number of times. Of course, he could have been exaggerating but Dee didn't think so. “You must have been really busy.”

 

Ryo pulled nervously at his ear lobe. “I kind of was.”

 

“So what? Did you get his message after you had finished whatever you were doing?” Dee felt he was trying to dig for oil using a trowel, very small amounts being moved each time and the likelihood of striking it rich almost impossible but he still had to just keep digging.

 

“Actually,” and Ryo looked away for a moment. This is it, Dee thought, his hands clenching in fists, waiting for the clanger to drop. “I ended up stopping what I was doing to check the phone. It was sort of distracting.”

 

Dee took that in for a moment. Was Ryo telling him the truth? “So that was when you got his message?” he pushed. “Which one?”

 

“The text message. I hadn't checked my message bank for a while.”

 

“So, you just stopped what you were doing?” Dee's hands were wrapped tightly in the sheets at his side as he waited for Ryo's answer.

 

“Yeah.” Ryo looked over at Dee, a soft smile on his face and Dee felt his heart lurch. It was almost the same smile that Ryo had once given only for him. “That's how I found out that you were still….that you were okay.”

 

Dee guessed that what Ryo had been going to say at first had been that he was still `alive', which meant that he had believed that Dee had been dead. Yet up until now Ryo hadn't really let on about any of that. He hadn't really said anything to Dee to say if he had been upset by that thought, or if it had affected him at all. Perhaps that is what has led to this change in attitude from him. Maybe it hadn't affected him at all and so he realized that he can't be that interested in Dee. After all, he's even admitted as much that he had been busy with something else, so much so that he hadn't even bothered answering his phone until later and it was pure luck that he got the text message from JJ. He couldn't have been too worried about Dee then.

 

“Well,” Dee said, a little raspy. “Hope it didn't ruin your plans. What ever they were.”

 

“No,” Ryo replied softly. “It was fine. I'm glad I found out the news.” He moved from his position to come and sit down on the chair vacated by JJ. “I will admit that I wasn't certain if I should believe the message or not. Nothing had been heard about your whereabouts until then so I thought it might be just a false lead. But then JJ isn't prone to histrionics, where you are concerned at least, and since the message came from him I was more inclined to believe it.”

 

Dee opened his mouth to ask more, to try and get Ryo to tell him exactly what had been going on, exactly what he had been involved in. More and more he was certain there was a whole lot more to this story than he was being told at the moment, more than probably anyone else knew, and this not knowing was killing him. However, as he opened his mouth and unthinkingly took a deep breath to speak, it immediately triggered a coughing fit which had Ryo holding him in a sitting position as he coughed and coughed, and by the time it had eased he was unable to do anything except wheeze for breath and lie there limply as sleep claimed him. After that, he had lost the opportunity to raise the subject with his partner again.

 

What had also begun to bother him had been the thought that even though now he felt certain that Ryo hadn't been responsible for the death of the shooter, he was just as concerned that he had been beginning to doubt Ryo's innocence. Did that mean that he didn't know his partner as well as he had thought? Was he so terrible that he could think that Ryo would do such a thing? Was he so arrogant to think that Ryo would throw everything away just for him? How could he think that he was worth that much to the man to destroy his life over? His worries and fears that his partner had murdered someone weighed heavily on his mind, but almost worse than that was the thought that whatever Ryo had done, that he wasn't telling him which showed just how little trust Ryo had in him. That thought hurt more than anything. That Ryo would think he was so untrustworthy and so unreliable to be unable to tell him what had happened. No wonder Ryo didn't want to be in a relationship with him.

 

Dee scrunched his jacket up and shoved it in the bag before zipping it closed. He looked around the room. That was it, now he just had to wait, Ryo would be here shortly to pick him up.

 

He returned to his seat by the window although the view hadn't changed in any way at all. He took a deep fortifying breath, steeling himself for the ordeal to come. He just had to get through the next few weeks and he would do everything in his power to get well soon so he could leave Ryo's place as soon as possible. That's all he could do.